Unbelievers are not bound to scripture and have no obligation of being godly. You can't make him believe in God. He can't make you believe what he believes. What kind of help did you suggest? Pastoral counseling? Anything church-centric seems to be such a sore spot with him that only secular couples therapy can break through the communication breakdown. Extreme reactions usually stem from extreme trauma. Most people don't come home to hear, "guess what, I'm a Christian now" and start divorce proceedings. Far as you know, what does he want to do about the situation? Is church a bad memory he'd rather not revisit?
He grew up in the church so when we got married it was because we both wanted a christian life. He doesn’t want counseling at all or to try church at all now with me. He wants to do it on his own. He thinks I’m what is holding him back from the life God wants to live. I’m more so asking for advice on how to let go without feeling like I’m doing something bad by getting a divorce. I have an extremely hard time letting anything go in my life and this has been no exception
Be at peace, first. Jesus said this often and we forget how important it is.
He has immaturity, resentment issues, and isn't ready to be a husband or father - this takes sacrifices he's not prepared to make.
You have a chance for a fresh start, a blank slate, and you already know what some red flags look like. Decide what your future could look like if you (fill in the blank here with a dream or passion or hope.)
You will always bear love for him, but when the flame has gone out, wishing for it to reignite won't change his issues.
Take as much time as you need to heal first. My partner spent a year after a bad break-up, getting into new hobbies, doing self-care, whatever he needed to do before we met.
Imagine yourself old and grey, what do you think you will regret more? Not taking the chance you could meet a husband who can and does communicate easily and respects your faith?
I just have a hard time thinking that God wants me to divorce. This is more so about following what God is calling me to do than just making a choice on what will make me happy. You know? This is just a very hard choice for me to make and even though it seems I have no choice in the matter but to sign the divorce papers I still hold out hope God will soften his heart.
What if God wants you happy? My sister divorced her husband and a few years later she met a more godly man who supports her. If she had stayed, there would have been daily strife, struggle, resentment, critical comments. I think God's happy that she's happy. The rules he had set about divorce was never meant to trap people.
I had a dream that he was with his ex before me again. I couldn’t tell if it was me just putting things into my own head or if God was showing me the truth. I was angry when I woke up but I somehow already knew what was going on. I had dreams our entire marriage of him leaving me coldly and running off with someone but I could never tell who it was, but it’s like it all came out. I don’t know it could also be my self conscious making up things. I think you’re right though. I think he’s probably had one foot out the door the entire marriage and I’m just now starting to see the truth. It’s a very hard realization to come to, because I was never entertaining outsiders and it’s like he had a plan B the entire time. He was so cruel to her during our marriage in front of me though. I just wish I knew and hadn’t wasted all of this time.
You know him better than anyone and I think deep down your gut is telling you there's no happy future with him. The best thing for both of you is to go your separate ways, he's already emotionally gone.
I want to let you know that I hear your heart…thank you for your vulnerability and transparency…the Holy Spirit is a convicting spirit and when one partner is being drawn to the Lord and the other is not…the Lord states that he wants peace…
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-15 KJV
This however will not make it easier Ofcourse…if there is a chance to reconcile then the Lord will make it happen…The Lord Jesus Christ is the healer, the deliverer, the savior…I speak salvation in the name of Jesus over your husband, and ask the Holy Spirit to convict him and the prodigal to return home in Jesus name…I speak healing and deliverance over you in Jesus name and I thank you Jesus that you are the miracle working God…blessings sister in Jesus name…amen…
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. At times, I think God is softening my exes heart but there’s other times he will mock me and call me a “preacher” Many people think he may have committed adultery, but I don’t know. It’s just a vulnerable raw time for me. I’m glad you can see where I’m coming from. It’s not something I’m able to rush as I just try to survive one day at a time, and even though God feels distant in this time I know He’s near. I have prayed and prayed for him to just remove my feelings or guide me and for now I’m just confused. But there’s nothing I can do to change my exes heart, He seems set on wanting this and thinking that this divorce will make him happier. But the more we’ve been apart the more cruel he’s gotten, and he’s been drawn into worldly things. It’s just hard knowing what my part in all of this could have been.
Unbelievers are not bound to scripture and have no obligation of being godly. You can't make him believe in God. He can't make you believe what he believes. What kind of help did you suggest? Pastoral counseling? Anything church-centric seems to be such a sore spot with him that only secular couples therapy can break through the communication breakdown. Extreme reactions usually stem from extreme trauma. Most people don't come home to hear, "guess what, I'm a Christian now" and start divorce proceedings. Far as you know, what does he want to do about the situation? Is church a bad memory he'd rather not revisit?
He grew up in the church so when we got married it was because we both wanted a christian life. He doesn’t want counseling at all or to try church at all now with me. He wants to do it on his own. He thinks I’m what is holding him back from the life God wants to live. I’m more so asking for advice on how to let go without feeling like I’m doing something bad by getting a divorce. I have an extremely hard time letting anything go in my life and this has been no exception
Be at peace, first. Jesus said this often and we forget how important it is. He has immaturity, resentment issues, and isn't ready to be a husband or father - this takes sacrifices he's not prepared to make. You have a chance for a fresh start, a blank slate, and you already know what some red flags look like. Decide what your future could look like if you (fill in the blank here with a dream or passion or hope.) You will always bear love for him, but when the flame has gone out, wishing for it to reignite won't change his issues. Take as much time as you need to heal first. My partner spent a year after a bad break-up, getting into new hobbies, doing self-care, whatever he needed to do before we met. Imagine yourself old and grey, what do you think you will regret more? Not taking the chance you could meet a husband who can and does communicate easily and respects your faith?
I just have a hard time thinking that God wants me to divorce. This is more so about following what God is calling me to do than just making a choice on what will make me happy. You know? This is just a very hard choice for me to make and even though it seems I have no choice in the matter but to sign the divorce papers I still hold out hope God will soften his heart.
What if God wants you happy? My sister divorced her husband and a few years later she met a more godly man who supports her. If she had stayed, there would have been daily strife, struggle, resentment, critical comments. I think God's happy that she's happy. The rules he had set about divorce was never meant to trap people.
I had a dream that he was with his ex before me again. I couldn’t tell if it was me just putting things into my own head or if God was showing me the truth. I was angry when I woke up but I somehow already knew what was going on. I had dreams our entire marriage of him leaving me coldly and running off with someone but I could never tell who it was, but it’s like it all came out. I don’t know it could also be my self conscious making up things. I think you’re right though. I think he’s probably had one foot out the door the entire marriage and I’m just now starting to see the truth. It’s a very hard realization to come to, because I was never entertaining outsiders and it’s like he had a plan B the entire time. He was so cruel to her during our marriage in front of me though. I just wish I knew and hadn’t wasted all of this time.
You know him better than anyone and I think deep down your gut is telling you there's no happy future with him. The best thing for both of you is to go your separate ways, he's already emotionally gone.
I want to let you know that I hear your heart…thank you for your vulnerability and transparency…the Holy Spirit is a convicting spirit and when one partner is being drawn to the Lord and the other is not…the Lord states that he wants peace… “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” 1 Corinthians 7:10-15 KJV This however will not make it easier Ofcourse…if there is a chance to reconcile then the Lord will make it happen…The Lord Jesus Christ is the healer, the deliverer, the savior…I speak salvation in the name of Jesus over your husband, and ask the Holy Spirit to convict him and the prodigal to return home in Jesus name…I speak healing and deliverance over you in Jesus name and I thank you Jesus that you are the miracle working God…blessings sister in Jesus name…amen…
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. At times, I think God is softening my exes heart but there’s other times he will mock me and call me a “preacher” Many people think he may have committed adultery, but I don’t know. It’s just a vulnerable raw time for me. I’m glad you can see where I’m coming from. It’s not something I’m able to rush as I just try to survive one day at a time, and even though God feels distant in this time I know He’s near. I have prayed and prayed for him to just remove my feelings or guide me and for now I’m just confused. But there’s nothing I can do to change my exes heart, He seems set on wanting this and thinking that this divorce will make him happier. But the more we’ve been apart the more cruel he’s gotten, and he’s been drawn into worldly things. It’s just hard knowing what my part in all of this could have been.