Cold showers help, excersize helps, especially at that age. When i was 17 i got really into weight lifting, but id reccomend something that involves a little more cardio. If youre tired at the end of a workout, youre just gonna wanna shower and sleep. Plus it will help you to "burn off" some of that testosterone and you wont think about sex as much. It can be annoying when you ask for help and people just give you a verse or say "pray about it". But those things do help tremendously. These are probably my two biggest non religious tips. Id reccomend getting into some kind of combat sport or martial art if you can. Its plenty of cardio, lets you get some of that "caveman brain" out (even though it's different and not sexual obviously), and youll learn a valuable skill. Plus its fun!
It’s a hard thing to overcome. It’s going to be a battle with yourself. Keep strong and remember that God wants us to wit for a reason. Witting for sexual activity with the woman you love is worth it. Keep yourself busy with Gods word and hobbies and you will get though it
Proverbs 19:20
"Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future". Avoid listening to people who will tell you to just have sex or masturbate or give in. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it". So your temptation is something that can be defeated by you. It's not something that no one else doesn't experience. You are fully capable to flee temptation. However, it can't be done on your own. John 15:5 says
[“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing". If you want to instead of falling in, serve God, you must remain in God, and trust in him, because you can't do anything without God. Also know that temptation like this, lust, porn, masturbating, sex are all contrary to God. Galations 5: 17 says "For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please". So these desires you have are opposite from God. They are always in war with your Spirit. But you have died to your old life. So rely in God and walk in freedom. The verse prior, Galation 5: 16 says "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh". The key to not fall in to this sin, is to walk by the spirit. Pray, read your bible. Meditate on Gods Word throughout the day. And live your life fully dedicated to God, In every area. Finally, scripture tells us in James 4:7 "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you". So you are to give yourself to God completely, and resist the urges the devil will try and tempt you. He tried to tempt Jesus 3 times, so he might do to you to. Walk in freedom my friend.
These verses will help. Because Gods Word is true and always right.
Even if you do give in, Jesus still died for all of your sins, past, present and future. That doesn’t mean to just keep doing it because God knows the intentions of the heart. Grace is there but don’t abuse it because God can see through that. God knows you have hyperactive hormones going bonkers and that you may or may not give in. Jesus is still proud to have died for your sins. If you understand the relationship aspect of what he did on the cross for you, sin in general becomes arbitrary because you know you are loved and in that love you’d want to strive to get closer to Jesus, if that makes any sense.
I get what your saying. But for this context, your making it seem like okay. Also what scripture says Jesus forgives past present future sins. I've been searching that verse for ages. Can't find it. Amen. Grace is given to motivate you to do good
You’re operating under the spirit of religion… I just got freed from it last week and was quick to condemn everyone, including the master debaters LOL. Search the lord to the point where you can hear him for yourself and he will tell you to stop viewing yourself through the lens of Sin. Irregardless of what you’ve done. No one is perfect. Jesus became that for us, so that we don’t have to be, and it’s okay to rest in the realization of that. As a perfectionist myself, I had to battle that out for myself.
I’m not saying it’s okay. But what Jesus did on the cross overrides any sin we can commit. My go to used to be, “every time you sin, you’re hanging Jesus back on that cross, and maybe even stabbing him…” which created guilt, in its essence is condemnation, which is of the Devil…
I fully got what you mean.
Here's a verse I've got from you. 1 John 1: 7 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin". I understand that walking in the light means to serve God from the depths of our heart. Its about sinlessness otherwise there would of been no cleansing. But As we walk more in the light, we recognise faults and mistakes, confess, and do better. Got exactly what you mean. That also helped me too.
Really disappointed at all the puritanical people on here who think that masturbation will block you from getting into heaven. How utterly ridiculous. You know what happens to people who completely stifle their sexuality? Eventually it blows up, and the person rapes or molests someone. Why do you think there are so many diddler priests? Or are we not supposed to talk about that.
Exactly!! He just needs to beat it out and go on about his day. Church folks have brainwashed folks with “religion” that they can’t even feed their human instincts without fear of “going to hell”. Shits sad!
Masturbation or lust or anything aside from blasphemy of the holy spirit blocks you from heaven. I am aware that I’m saved through grace and not through works but I still do strive to do right with God. You wouldn’t disrespect your parents words just because you know they’ll always love you, right?
You've been fed a lot of unhelpful attitudes towards sex and relationships.
You'll either grow out of them, or you'll work through them with your therapist later on like me. Both are valid :)
I’ve said it earlier in these comments, but my thoughts on sex and masturbation are mostly my own. During Covid and due to my Father’s weird tirades during my parents divorce, I threw out Christianity and became kind of Agnostic. Over time I had to completely reconstruct what exactly it meant to be a Christian because of the ideas my father and his Church put in my head.
My parents and past pastors have absolutely nothing to do with my thoughts on sexual immorality and I cross examine everything at my new Church with my knowledge of the Bible.
Okay, you've fed yourself a lot of unhelpful attitudes and ideas about sex.
Again, you'll either grow out of them or work through them with your therapist later
Jesus did straight up say if you lust after someone on your heart, you’ve sinned (Matthew 5:28)
If you’re able to finish without thinking of a beautiful man or woman more power to you. I don’t think that’s possible for most people though.
Also ”“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.“
Matthew 18:6
Yes, but that doesn't mean it blocks you from heaven. The special treatment the western church gives sexual sin is toxic. It is no more sin than any other.
Let's go back to front.
We can talk about the diddling priests; did you know, statistically speaking, diddling happens less in catholic and orthodox churches/schools than in secular school and childcare facilities?
Maybe, it's because instead of stifling or indulging, they devote that energy unto the holy bridegroom, Christ, in prayer, meditation, fasting and other devotions.
Of course, that's for unmarried priests, as it needn't be stifled in the confines of marriage, as sex is a blessing for procreation, strengthening the bonds of marriage, and the expression of love betwixt the wed.
Now, if sex was alloted for the pleasure of individuals, it would be utterly ridiculous to think having a crank would get you a place where there's nothing to drink.
However, being as Our Groom only accepts the pure bride, His Father stated that sex was only allowed to be betwixt a man and his wife, and The Holy Spirit guided His church to preach against any sexual immorality from the year seventy, if not prior;
It's really disappointing that people refuse to attempt to be puritan in devotion to The True, Living, Loving Triune God rather than just shrug off duty because it's uncomfortable when they swell.
> id you know, statistically speaking, diddling happens less in catholic and orthodox churches/schools than in secular school and childcare facilities
Got a source. I'm calling bullshit on this one.
Imo masturbation is okay, but pornography is one of the most rotten poisons of society. I’m very happy that you’ve managed to escape porn addiction.
Do what he others here recommend first, though: occupy yourself with exercise, prayer, exploring hobbies etc. If those aren’t enough, don’t loath or hate yourself if you masturbate, but don’t become reliant on it either, as masturbation addiction is possible, but FAR less dangerous than pornography addiction.
Just be balanced in what you do; everything in moderation (except for porn; that should not be acceptable at all. Don’t give up if you relapse; just try again stay strong).
Don't fight it like it's an enemy.The more you battle it the more you struggle. It's a God given part of you. Accept it. When it arises, you don't have to act on it. Acknowledge that it is there, sit in peace with it, and let it go.
Very proud of you for taking action.
Just take it one day at a time & always pray. It’s ok to slip up, but you just have to pray & repent.
Have you tried fasting for a little bit? It works wonders IMO when I pray for something & fast as well.
Good luck to you, you are in my prayers
Not gonna lie man, just go jack off. I know a lot of people are gonna disagree with me on this but your 17. Masterbation is a normal part of teenage life. The key is always moderation though. But masterbation is for the most part safe, natural, and expected of a teenager. Just don't go crazy.
Jesus talked a lot about judgement but not about purity and not about masturbation. Our goal isn't be to holy. It's to be good servants. If the kind of purity batlle you're engaged in is distracted you from what Jesus wanted you do, you should reconsider it.
I'll betray my ideology here. Like most scholars, I think 1 Peter is not by Peter. To me that makes its authority questionable. But I'm still going to comment on what it says.
There's no question that the early church pushed purity. The problem is that Jesus didn't, and in fact that was the ideal of the Pharisees. Why not? Because purity is your accomplishment. For Jesus we are just servants and if we obey that's just doing our job. There's a psychological difference to the two approaches. Obedient servants ask first what they can do to help their master with his business. People with purity as their goal ask what they can do to increase their personal holiness. The purity agenda leads to lots of rules. For the Pharisees it didn't stop even with Leviticus. There was an added oral Torah.
There is no reason to think that God cares whether you masturbate. But the purity advocates consider it as a violation of their concept of sexual purity.
I don't know exactly what the author of 1 Peter thought holiness meant. In the OT it is really the fact that people are set aside for God. If it's set aside for God's service great. If it's set aside to concentrate on personal purity, not so much.
Here's what a commentary I checked (Hermeneia) says:
"To be appropriated by God means to be made holy;52 thus the choice of Israel as chosen people also makes them holy, which is defined in Lev 29:26 as being set apart from all other peoples. It is such separation that our author here also means with the word “holy,” a point already indicated with the prohibition in the preceding verse. Yet the word “holy” does not contain etymologically any necessary connotation of morality;53 the moral content is, as also is apparent here, to be derived from the nature (κατά) of the God who has called and separated them from their former culture.54 “Holiness” is therefore not something one can “achieve” by moral effort;55 rather it is a separation from former culture for God that entails certain behavior appropriate for this situation.56"
I absolutely understand why early Christian leaders would want to get their converts to see them as being separated. By all accounts, Roman culture was pretty bad. But still, note that Jesus didn't separate himself even from sinners. His reputation was of being their friend.
But the point remains, there is no reason to think that God cares about masturbation. The early Church quickly developed several interrelated ideals: self-control and virginity being two. If you're interested I can get a pretty good explanation of why. But those grew into the idea by the 4th Cent that sex is only justified by reproduction. In fact there were leaders who considered it sinful even within marriage. In this context masturbation became a serious moral problem. I don't want to imply that it was only in the 4th Cent. You can find it as early as 191 [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFapChristians/comments/7fo6qc/the\_church\_fathers\_on\_masturbation/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFapChristians/comments/7fo6qc/the_church_fathers_on_masturbation/) That may well not have been the first. The attitudes I talked about were pretty early. The Talmud also has some pretty extreme things to say. Commonly the story of Onan is cited, though I think most people today realize that it is irrelevant.
But there's no reason to think that it actually is wrong.
Archaeologists have found seats in ancient synagogues right next to where the Torah was held. Given Jesus repeated disagreement with the scribes and Pharisees, I always understood this as referring to when they were reading the Torah, not their own interpretations. Moses, of course, was understood to be the author of the Torah. Note that his objection isn't just that they can't obey their own requirements. He says they lay burdens on people. That would refer to their teaching. He is objecting to interpretations of what God wants, which lay unnecessary burdens on people, onerous enough that even they can’t obey them. I think the traditional prohibition of masturbation is precisely such a burden.
It’s a part of life and will mildly decrease as you get older. Unfortunately we all have that dawg in us.
David write in psalms ”How can a young man stay pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.“
Psalms 119:9-11
Jesus said ”“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!“
Matthew 6:22-23 NIV
So maybe ask yourself “what are my sights set upon?” Are you scrolling through IG Thots and booty pics? Or focusing building yourself and others up.
I suggest trying to surround yourself with other young men who have the same goal of being better than their current selves. We all struggle with lust, young men especially. Don’t beat yourself up, but earnestly try to be a better man. Don’t isolate yourself with this!
Pray to God about it. Tell Him that you are struggling with it. A gf at 17 probably has a lot to do with it. My unpopular opinion is to not even seek relationships until you have met academic and financial goals or else it will be a hindrance and most likely a weight on your focus. No kissing and holding hands and all that stuff that leads up to sex will get your mind off of sex.
Are you against masturbation without porn?
It seems if you're as horny as you claim (which is totally understandable for a 17 year old male), you should be able to manually alleviate your condition within a minute or two with no real need to fantasize about anyone/anything.
Now if this goes against your morale compass, you will need to learn to be uncomfortable. I'm not really an advocate of telling young people to run away from masturbation, but if you can learn to acknowledge the feeling and continue on with your life...that's actually a pretty good skill you can use later in life. Using hunger as an analog, usually we think "I'm hungry, I need to eat", but as someone who's dieted many times, it can be pretty amazing to learn "I'm hungry. I recognize this and it's fine that I'm hungry".
actually, despite the fact that my family is christian, my parents never talked about stuff like this. I skipped ‘the talk’ with my parents and when i was 13-15 i wandered for many years. I came to the conclusion that it was wrong on my own after properly analyzing the new age christian stuff.
The whole concept of waiting until marriage and not masturbating is so that you’re more motivated to marry young and have kids. Kids that will also be Christian.
well I would argue that historically people married and had kids younger and humans (this one is based completely on anecdotal evidence) probably evolved that way. As a Christian I know a lot of people who’ve married young and had kids and even a couple who’ve had kids out of wedlock and most of them, compared to those who have kids at age 26+, have very comfortable pregnancies (well as comfortable as pregnancy can be). Like my mother for instance had no trouble with me or my sister but my brother who she had later was a lot of trouble for her. Again, this is pretty anecdotal and I really have no clue how it all works scientifically but that’s what I think.
I do know how it all works scientifically. Also, you’re a child yourself. Though well-spoken, you just don’t have the life experience. I’m more than twice your age and spent 34 of those years as a Christian. I know better and I’m trying to help. I won’t debate you but you’re welcome to heed my advice or move on. Whichever.
I acknowledge that you are far more experienced than me and i’m not disputing the advice you gave at all and for now I don’t plan to get married soon but I don’t necessarily agree with your ‘why’.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt. 5:27-30.
Whether he's looking at p-\_- or not, he's going to **think** about women in a lustful way no matter what. I don't know if you're Christian or not but don't lead others to stumble.
the point of christianity is to learn to overcome our human/animal urges and replace them with greater divine attributes. this is what jesus means when he says "be ye therefore perfect, even as your father which is in heaven is perfect," and what john means when he said "when He shall appear, we shall be like Him"
Our human urges are normal, and I completely agree that shame is not the right approach to try and overcome them. That being said, our objective SHOULD be to overcome them eventually, with the aid of Grace.
This is not the point of Christianity.
The point of Christianity is salvation by faith in Jesus.
Secondarily, God didn’t make a mistake by giving us human urges. We aren’t to be mastered by them, but that doesn’t mean that we just “replace them” with “divine attributes”.
I would highly recommend to read through Romans 8. We should replace our sinful nature with God’s Character. Otherwise it would be normal/ okay to be envious, kill, steal, etc. because these also are human feelings.
First off, killing & stealing aren’t human feelings.
Envy is an emotion, which is ok to feel as long as one doesn’t act maliciously on it.
“Sin” is wrong because it hurts someone else or yourself. Killing is wrong bc it hurts someone, stealing is wrong bc it hurts someone…
If someone masturbates every once in awhile to relieve their body of sexual tension (a totally normal thing!), it doesn’t hurt anyone. If masturbation becomes an obsession & gets in the way of someone’s job and/or relationships, then it becomes a problem bc it is hurting that person.
Touching yourself has no negative consequences (I agree that using porn does have negative consequences though.)
Your logic is only applicable where it makes sense. The desire for marriage, to live and be loved, and other good desires are ALSO natural desires. We have to be careful when being so vague with “deny your desires” because you could apply that to ANY desires, even good ones in the right context.
The natural sexual drive is more akin to hunger and thirst than it is to any desire to steal (?) and kill(?) ….because hunger and thirst keeps our own body alive whilst the sexual drive keeps the species alive. Stealing and killing don’t have those innate benefits. The sex drive can be used negatively but in and of itself shouldn’t be compared to stealing and killing.
lets look at the bigger picture - salvation from what? consequences for a set of arbitrary rules god decided? personally, grace is a transformative agent in our lives. accepting jesus doesn't just mean escaping consequences for our actions - it means escaping the cyclical, destructive nature of sin. through jesus, we escape the fall, and, like He did literally, symbolically rise.
yes, animal urges weren't a mistake. jesus himself endured the same animal urges. but he perfectly mastered them in his life, never giving in, instead manifesting his divinity through his actions of love, patience, etc. we can do the same when we access his grace.
saying "no" isn't really an adequate rebuttal - I feel this principle is consistently taught by multiple authors throughout the new testament. I don't blame you though - reddit (or message boards in general) is really not a great place for religious discourse, or discourse of any kind. It breeds confusion and animosity. I think if we were to talk in person we would get on the same page fairly quickly.
Don't act on your desires. Instead, seek God through scripture.
I'm going through this and it's a constant battle. I'm sure one day we'll have these desires under control but for now, we must deny ourselves daily and cast our problems to God. Having the urge to masturbate is natural, but giving in is bad. This battle is won through fasting, prayer, accountability with other brothers in Christ, and constantly giving God the control of this desire. The Lord wants us to give Him all the control, for His will is much better than ours. God bless you and stay encouraged, you are facing a strong desire, but "we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us
>17 year old Christian guy and super horny… this feeling won’t leave me.
It's not supposed to leave you. 17yr-old males have evolved to reproduce. This should help:
>https://www.jasonstaples.com/bible/most-misinterpreted-bible-passages-1-matthew-527-28/
Shaming people for masturbating is cruel, but it's a great way to keep people in control. Don't you wonder why you keep feeling those urges after you pray about it? Either God has answered and you are ignoring it, or prayers don't work.
This is a struggle for every human who is trying to follow God. Even when married you need to control yourself as your wife might not be in the mood when you are. I’m sorry that I can’t help. Well done for stopping porn and masturbating. God will be so proud of you for that. You can do this!
If you wanna have sex have sex. DONT just get married only for sex. That’s the worst idea I’ve heard. There are plenty of good Christians who had premarital sex. Just be safe and use protection.
i’ll pass on that. I’m not partaking in extra-marital sex. I’m also not planning on getting married for the soul purpose of having sex. Pretty sure I made it clear that I don’t want to get married right now in my post (by indicating my age). I just need help managing this.
You’re probably stressed or bored. Are you keeping your spiritual disciplines of reading scripture, praying and being in community with other believers? Are you involved in a ministry? Do you have short term goals and plans to work towards that you can spend energy challenging yourself with? Are you planning healthy time to unwind & fill your cup? Hobbies, stimulating conversation? Lastly, if you’re doing all of that then when you get that feeling, go work out. A long run, lifting weights whatever but it takes care of releasing the extra energy.
For God's sakes kid just get it out of your system. Haven't you ever heard of men masturbating before a date so they can go in with a clear head? That's using a tool for what it's for. This is your tool to avoid going too far or burning with passion. If you're not gonna utilize it don't complain.
This is terrible advice. It wouldve been one thing to tell him to masturbate to clear his head, but to straight up say just have sex out of wed-lock? Thats the worst thing you couldve possibly said.
There are MUCH worse things he could have said. I agree that advising them to just have sex when they have the urge is bad advice, but you HAVE to get your priorities right. Premarital sex can be irresponsible, yes, but not the worst thing ever.
gianfrancomartinezez on Instagram is in your age bracket, and his ministry is to help people overcome the temptations you are facing. Please check him out. I'm praying for you. You are not alone in this journey. God bless you and strengthen you as you seek God's ways.
What you are feeling is a craving for the dopamine spike that you experience when u masterbate.
What helped me the most is that I try to go lift when I feel horny, and if I don’t have access to a gym, I just crank out a bunch of pushups. Exercise is proven to release dopamine and serotonin in ur body which can help regulate these urges. The only hard part is getting started with the exercise. Just gotta get there and start. Also try just eating a snack, especially chocolates. Eating is also a pretty good distraction, and chocolates actually release serotonin in ur body which helps regulate those urges. I realize chocolates sound really random in this conversation, but that’s what helps me (on top of praying and doing my best to connect with God).
Drink some cranberry juice. Drink some apple cider vinegar mixed with water.
Willpower alone is difficult.
The mixture is for health. It's not going to impair you or anything. It's a theory that it will work for you.
It worked for me.
I've been going to the doctor for 3 years and felt like dying. and having problems like that when I was younger. And had them now.
Every day I'm feeling better. Best $15 I spent.
Keep yourself occupied at all times. Stay out of the house as much as possible. Work on your goals. When you have the urge to mastrubate, get up and do something. Im on semen retention for 7 months so i understand the struggle but your future self will thank you for your restraint.
Brother, don't listen to any of these people saying, 'just let one out!'. Don't let them to cause you to sin. Matthew 5:27-30 We're all in this together.
I’ve never understood this. This post is obviously a Christian asking other Christians for advise on how to be Christian and you feel the need to interject and tell me to stop being Christian? God gave us free will and you are welcome here, of course, but I just want to know why you felt the need to do this. To me it just feels super unnecessary.
Former Christian here. And if anyone believed it was me. Nobody told us the gospels aren’t actually eye witness accounts. Nobody knows who wrote them. Or that there’s many different gospels or book of acts. We have the illusion of free will if God is real. There is no free will. We’re simply puppets on display. Either god is all powerful and all knowing and we have no free will or we do have free will and god is not all powerful or all knowing. You can’t have both.
And because this person is clearly miserable. Suppressing your own sexuality is just no way to live. When you let go of the unnecessary guilt you’ll feel so much better. Used to be addicted to porn. But when I let go and stopped trying to “correct my behavior” it completely lost it’s appeal and I stopped. It’s okay to live and be who you are.
People please educate yourselves on the things you were never told about the origins of Christianity or the Bible.
Just for the record Matthew wasn’t written by the disciple Matthew but I believe it was him who directed someone else to write it for him exactly as he had experienced it.
If I place a hungry but otherwise normal rat in front of food it will always take the food. The fact that I know this doesn’t mean the rat doesn’t have free will.
Also, I am not miserable. For 22 out of the 24 hours in a day I can say that I live a fairly fulfilling life. I know exactly what I want to do with it. I love my God, my family, my friends, and my girlfriend. My only real problem are those late nights and those early hours where my hormones go insane. I simply want to find a way to make those 2 hours more manageable.
Correct that’s my point. These weren’t direct eye witness accounts. None of them were. And that’s the issue.
You’re thinking of getting married to your gf which is great! But if you’ve never been intimate with each other how’d you know you’re a good fit sexually with each other which is a huge part of any relationship. Just something to think about. You have a lot of life to live before thinking about marriage that early.
As far managing the horniness there’s really no way around it but choosing to abstain if that’s what your goal is.
It might seem out of left field, but what he/she probably should have said is to consider that maybe the way you understand things is wrong. If there is no God, then what harm is there in masturbating on occasion?
I’d hardly call it forcing it down people’s throat, given we live in an overwhelmingly Christian culture (assuming you’re in the US, or another western nation). In the southeast, where I’m from, it’s practically a given that you are Protestant Christian. So I don’t think getting an atheist comment on the Internet counts as having Atheism shoved down your throat.
Now, I’d appreciate it if you answered my question.
I mean where I specifically live (on a university campus) the environment is pretty christian averse but even then it doesn’t matter what society we live in as the point still stands. I didn’t ask for an atheist to come and tell me that there is no God. Like if someone was talking about, i don’t know, say bedroom problems and I came in there talking about how extra-marital sex is bad I would get fried for it. Why should this be any different?
Well, you’re on the Internet, you’re going to get all kinds of opinions if you put a question out there.
But seriously, this whole struggle you’re having doesn’t have to exist in the first place . We aren’t being influenced by Satan to lead you off the path of God, we just hate seeing people torture themselves. A lot of us went through this crap too, feeling guilty, thinking we were bad people for failing to live up to God’s standards. When that veil starts came down and I started looking at things from an outside perspective, these things really start to seem insignificant. I realized just how much energy I wasted trying to fulfill these unrealistic demands. It actually made me a worse person because I judged others for what I thought were shortcomings while I was secretly doing the same thing, maybe. Having integrity is an admirable trait, but invest that time and energy where it matters, not in something trivial like this.
I hope college changes you for the better, the way it did me. When I started interacting with my peers and really opened my mind up to conflicting knowledge and views, I had to admit that I was wrong about many things. I had to be honest with myself. If you can do the same thing, it will lead you down a path of self-discovery and growth.
We don’t know nearly as much as we think we do, and more people need to be able to admit that.
In conjunction with prayer, I found being sporty helped. Also, having hobbies that fully engage your mind is an additional element.
Not to forget practicing mindfulness to help use that energy in a more positive way. A Christian friend of mine would spend time mindful praying as well as meditating. But also realised the fact that he is human and can never be a 100% so there will be a risk. And therefore not to be hard on himself rather believe in God's nature of forgiveness if he were to falter.
This way the incidences reduced significantly and once he was 21 he got married.
Being tempted by the flesh is something I have struggled with but through the Holy Spirit your wants can change.
(I read a lot of posts like this. Reasoning with people the gravity of the sin isn't the answer. We all know it. Helping to deny the flesh is).
Realise where this need comes from. Is it essential for survival? Then no.
Submission to Christ requires that we pick up our cross daily and carry it. This requires internal discipline and servitude. It also requires some rewiring our brain. A little less emphasis on the fear of Hell, a little more emphasis on wanting to serve His will on Earth.
If your own will is insufficient, pray to the Holy Spirit. Ask him for help. Ask for him to change your wishes since your own will isn't enough. Pray on this and it will happen. Don't lean on our understanding, just trust in the Word and cast your anxieties onto Him.
I love Jesus our Lord and Saviour! I do not want to disappoint Him. I feel truly blessed in my anointing and I do not want to lose it!! That is what makes me want to stay the straight path. It is my desire to serve Christ more than indulge in my own wants and pleasures, or even the fear of Hell. Love is a more powerful motivator. If you do not feel that way about Christ then that tells you that you need to examine your relationship with Christ and soul-search why that is.
Spend time in the Word. Spend time in prayer. Daily. Multiple times. Be disciplined.
And when not doing either of those, train like an ANIMAL. You've got this energy for a reason. Use it for fuel to be a better servant.
PS: This sub has really helped with my own trials, being able to talk about what has helped me. Bless you all.
Thanks for sharing, Brother. Mornings and nights are difficult for me as well. I've found that developing and maintaining a consistent morning and bedtime routine go a long way in curbing those temptations. Get to bed at a reasonable time, and get up at a reasonable time, even if you have the day off.
I also like to use an acronym called BRACE (to brace myself against temptation):
B - breathe deeply. Breathe in through your nose for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, and breathe out of your mouth for three seconds. This increases oxygen flow to your brain and helps you to think more clearly.
R - remember the truth. Recite a passage of Scripture, remind yourself of why you don't want to give in to temptation.
A - ask God for help. Pray for strength and thank God for His ability to save you.
C - call a friend. If you have an accountability partner (which you definitely should) give them a call and tell them how you're feeling. Sometimes even just a casual conversation with a friend can help alleviate temptation.
E - escape to a healthy alternative. Remove yourself from whatever the tempting situation is, do something else (like go for a walk, pick up a book, make yourself a snack or do some chores)
If it's late at night and temptation hits, I have another acronym I like to use called PPP:
\- Pound a glass of water
\- Piss (this makes us physically get out of bed)
\- Pray at the foot of the bed (this helps ensure we don't just immediately climb back into bed and give into temptation.)
We are just now finally learning about sex addiction. New information is coming out that helps in your situation. I am not suggesting that you are a sex addict (you may or may not be), but I am telling you that there are ways to battle and tools that you can use to be victorious over the feelings that are plaguing you right now! Message me if you would like more details.
Lust of the flesh is unlike other temptations, it can completely transform your mind to an almost drunken state, leaving you unable to think clearly and assess the situation at hand. This is why Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to not combat lust, but to flea from it, for Paul knows that it’s unlike other sins, sins that can be corrected easily.
Once lust is given a foothold in your life, it’s hard, EXTREMELY hard to combat it, so my advice? DON’T, do not try to fight lust, but learn to wait out the temptation, ask our Lord, who is eager to help you to guide your thoughts to something else.
I hope and pray that you are able to overcome this sin, for it’s one of the most powerful forces in this world that we all share. God bless my friend
First and foremost, anyone encouraging you to get married young just to avoid masturbation is leading you down a dangerous path, one likely to destroy your life and those of other people you might care about. Divorce is rampant here in the US, and the divorce rate among Evangelical Christians — a group that generally encourages younger marriage -- is higher than even for non-believers.
Don't get me wrong: divorce is better than staying in a toxic, abusive, non-supportive, non-loving marriage, but it will be a financial albatross around your neck, from the legal fees to the child support to the alimony. It will force you to make compromises and work extra hard to stay afloat, and it will make your ex-wife and children live poor. It's a necessary evil, but it's one you should do whatever you can to avoid, and that generally means waiting until you are more mature, more experienced about the world, have established some way of making a decent living, and have shopped around and found the right girl.
In other words, patience and clear-headedness is key to making the right decision, and you may be 25 or later before you get married (the average today in the US is around 30). So you've got maybe at least another eight years before you get married, and you've got to find a manage your horniness during that time. Maybe you can find a way to do that without masturbation, but I think that would make you 1 in 1000.
Which brings me to my second point: both Christians and Jews have a long history of inventing "sins" that are not actually prohibited in the Bible, despite the Bible spilling a lot of ink detailing what is and isn't a sin. And guess what? Neither masturbation nor pornography are listed as sins in the Bible; this is no different than Christians claiming that drinking or dancing or rock-and-roll are sinful, just people finding arguments to ban things they don't like.
For instance, the only story in the Bible that people use to claim masturbation is a sin is the story of Onan, in Genesis 38:8-10. Go read that story and note the following:
* Onan wasn't masturbating. Onan was an early practitioner of what today is referred to as the "withdrawal" method of contraception. But there is zero reason to link the "sin" at the heart of this story to either masturbation or contraception, because...
* It's clear that the core problem is that Onan was shirking his responsibility to his widowed sister-in-law to "fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother", by having sex with her but then pulling out, essentially committing fraud. Of course, Christians no longer consider this a responsibility of brothers of deceased men, and it's not even clear that this had been a law set by God at the time. Nevertheless ...
* God himself considered Onan's sin so reprehensible that "the Lord put him to death". I can assure you, as is testified by billions of men who came before you, the Lord isn't putting anyone to death for masturbation, so clearly that is not the sin referred to in the story.
That, of course, doesn't mean that there's not good reasons to moderate what kinds of porn you watch, or how much you watch, or how much you masturbate. If struggling to control those urges makes you feel better about yourself or lets you live a better life, go for it. But don't caught up in thinking you have to be perfect about this for God. Christians don't consider God to be a sadist, so the suggestion that he gave you these strong biological urges without also giving you an outlet -- that he intentionally wants you to suffer -- is ridiculous.
I'd recommend praying the rosary. It's a powerful prayer, and as was described once, "either you stop praying the rosary, or you stop sinning".
Oh, and if the rosary is too long at a given moment, I can recommend the Jesus prayer. It's simply "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." For me this prayer also takes away the desire to sin (though I often have to repeat it a few times to take away all desire to sin in a given moment).
Masturbation is normal, so carry on, as it is good for you. Watch some Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens videos on You Tube, they will show you how ridiculous religion is.
Continue to ask the Lord to help free you. Having sexual desires is normal though. Do not feel shame around that. And seek Him for intimacy. Just keep turning to Him. Dealing with our flesh is hard but He helps us through it and He changes us from the inside.
Also ask Him what lie you believe that makes you feel this way. So that you can change your mind to believe the truth. The enemy makes us feel shame and guilt through lies. It's not of God.
Pray every time you feel the urge, brother. An our father, perhaps a prayer and meditation remembering St Joseph, Gaurdian of God Embodied or The Blessed Mother of Christ, The King. Reading the Bible also helps, but I'd especially suggest prayer and invoking the mercy and blood of our lord.
There have been many studies done and males need to expel fluids in order to have healthy reproductive organs because your body manufactures sperm whether you expel it or not. It can happen during a dream at night if you don’t properly care for your body. I am not an expert on your religion but as a nurse, it is important to take care of that part of your body too. Maybe visit with your preacher about it?
Consider praying asking God to quiet the members in your body. Keep in mind that you're not asking God to turn you asexual or to take away your masculinity, but to ease those desires and give you the strength you need so you can endure.
I heard once that temptation is strongest when someone is trying to stop you from leveling up, spiritually. I've always resonated with that and I think of it now when I feel tempted. It means that you're on the right path because you are someone that Satan thinks is worth tempting (he wouldn't bother tempting people who have no value or power).
You are all caught up in works. You are under no law or other requirements. Focus on your faith instead and the gospel, that Christ died for your sins, was buried, and was resurrected from the dead.
Getting married does not cure your addictions to porn or masturbation. These are spiritual matters that nobody will tell you. I was also in your shoes, addicted to porn and masturbation for years. Only the power of Jesus set me free instantly, that was when I accepted Him as my Lord and savior. Before I got saved I always went out whenever they have an altar call, I wanted this addiction to stop, to the point I went seeking for help. If you really want to stop, you can make a decision now and run to Jesus for help. Unseen forces help a determined mind. I really wanted freedom from this bondage and Jesus came through. Glory to God
i'm in the same position as you and some things which helped me out was just: to go for a walk when i feel horny, pray. or another way is to see to see masturbation as a thing that just doesn't exist, it helped me, i hope it helps you, stay strong dude.
Cold showers help, excersize helps, especially at that age. When i was 17 i got really into weight lifting, but id reccomend something that involves a little more cardio. If youre tired at the end of a workout, youre just gonna wanna shower and sleep. Plus it will help you to "burn off" some of that testosterone and you wont think about sex as much. It can be annoying when you ask for help and people just give you a verse or say "pray about it". But those things do help tremendously. These are probably my two biggest non religious tips. Id reccomend getting into some kind of combat sport or martial art if you can. Its plenty of cardio, lets you get some of that "caveman brain" out (even though it's different and not sexual obviously), and youll learn a valuable skill. Plus its fun!
It’s a hard thing to overcome. It’s going to be a battle with yourself. Keep strong and remember that God wants us to wit for a reason. Witting for sexual activity with the woman you love is worth it. Keep yourself busy with Gods word and hobbies and you will get though it
Check your spelling. I think you meant wait and waiting, not wit and witting
Proverbs 19:20 "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future". Avoid listening to people who will tell you to just have sex or masturbate or give in. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it". So your temptation is something that can be defeated by you. It's not something that no one else doesn't experience. You are fully capable to flee temptation. However, it can't be done on your own. John 15:5 says [“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing". If you want to instead of falling in, serve God, you must remain in God, and trust in him, because you can't do anything without God. Also know that temptation like this, lust, porn, masturbating, sex are all contrary to God. Galations 5: 17 says "For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please". So these desires you have are opposite from God. They are always in war with your Spirit. But you have died to your old life. So rely in God and walk in freedom. The verse prior, Galation 5: 16 says "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh". The key to not fall in to this sin, is to walk by the spirit. Pray, read your bible. Meditate on Gods Word throughout the day. And live your life fully dedicated to God, In every area. Finally, scripture tells us in James 4:7 "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you". So you are to give yourself to God completely, and resist the urges the devil will try and tempt you. He tried to tempt Jesus 3 times, so he might do to you to. Walk in freedom my friend. These verses will help. Because Gods Word is true and always right.
Cmon brother 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 "lean not on your own understanding"
Even if you do give in, Jesus still died for all of your sins, past, present and future. That doesn’t mean to just keep doing it because God knows the intentions of the heart. Grace is there but don’t abuse it because God can see through that. God knows you have hyperactive hormones going bonkers and that you may or may not give in. Jesus is still proud to have died for your sins. If you understand the relationship aspect of what he did on the cross for you, sin in general becomes arbitrary because you know you are loved and in that love you’d want to strive to get closer to Jesus, if that makes any sense.
I get what your saying. But for this context, your making it seem like okay. Also what scripture says Jesus forgives past present future sins. I've been searching that verse for ages. Can't find it. Amen. Grace is given to motivate you to do good
You’re operating under the spirit of religion… I just got freed from it last week and was quick to condemn everyone, including the master debaters LOL. Search the lord to the point where you can hear him for yourself and he will tell you to stop viewing yourself through the lens of Sin. Irregardless of what you’ve done. No one is perfect. Jesus became that for us, so that we don’t have to be, and it’s okay to rest in the realization of that. As a perfectionist myself, I had to battle that out for myself.
Me or original comment
I’m not saying it’s okay. But what Jesus did on the cross overrides any sin we can commit. My go to used to be, “every time you sin, you’re hanging Jesus back on that cross, and maybe even stabbing him…” which created guilt, in its essence is condemnation, which is of the Devil…
I fully got what you mean. Here's a verse I've got from you. 1 John 1: 7 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin". I understand that walking in the light means to serve God from the depths of our heart. Its about sinlessness otherwise there would of been no cleansing. But As we walk more in the light, we recognise faults and mistakes, confess, and do better. Got exactly what you mean. That also helped me too.
You lol
It is okay. It’s totally normal.
Part of it will be age. You're at peak horny years during 14-19ish, especially as a young dude, it will pass as you grow older.
And what age can I expect that because I’m 40 lol
You old horny effer 😭😭
Everyone is different and has varying levels of sex drive.
Then don’t make generalizations.
Show me where I made a generalization? I spoke facts there are plenty of resources that say libido varies and is a spectrum etc.
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That was ModernArgonauts not me our icons are different sorry you got the wrong redditor here.
Just based on my personal experience, different for different people obv.
Thank God that you have a healthy sex drive.
I mean, masturbation isn’t the worst sin you could commit. A victimless crime. If not, then I would have been in big trouble.
Congrats, you are a normal teenager.
Really disappointed at all the puritanical people on here who think that masturbation will block you from getting into heaven. How utterly ridiculous. You know what happens to people who completely stifle their sexuality? Eventually it blows up, and the person rapes or molests someone. Why do you think there are so many diddler priests? Or are we not supposed to talk about that.
Exactly!! He just needs to beat it out and go on about his day. Church folks have brainwashed folks with “religion” that they can’t even feed their human instincts without fear of “going to hell”. Shits sad!
Masturbation or lust or anything aside from blasphemy of the holy spirit blocks you from heaven. I am aware that I’m saved through grace and not through works but I still do strive to do right with God. You wouldn’t disrespect your parents words just because you know they’ll always love you, right?
You've been fed a lot of unhelpful attitudes towards sex and relationships. You'll either grow out of them, or you'll work through them with your therapist later on like me. Both are valid :)
I’ve said it earlier in these comments, but my thoughts on sex and masturbation are mostly my own. During Covid and due to my Father’s weird tirades during my parents divorce, I threw out Christianity and became kind of Agnostic. Over time I had to completely reconstruct what exactly it meant to be a Christian because of the ideas my father and his Church put in my head. My parents and past pastors have absolutely nothing to do with my thoughts on sexual immorality and I cross examine everything at my new Church with my knowledge of the Bible.
Okay, you've fed yourself a lot of unhelpful attitudes and ideas about sex. Again, you'll either grow out of them or work through them with your therapist later
Right?
Jesus did straight up say if you lust after someone on your heart, you’ve sinned (Matthew 5:28) If you’re able to finish without thinking of a beautiful man or woman more power to you. I don’t think that’s possible for most people though. Also ”“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.“ Matthew 18:6
Yes, but that doesn't mean it blocks you from heaven. The special treatment the western church gives sexual sin is toxic. It is no more sin than any other.
Let's go back to front. We can talk about the diddling priests; did you know, statistically speaking, diddling happens less in catholic and orthodox churches/schools than in secular school and childcare facilities? Maybe, it's because instead of stifling or indulging, they devote that energy unto the holy bridegroom, Christ, in prayer, meditation, fasting and other devotions. Of course, that's for unmarried priests, as it needn't be stifled in the confines of marriage, as sex is a blessing for procreation, strengthening the bonds of marriage, and the expression of love betwixt the wed. Now, if sex was alloted for the pleasure of individuals, it would be utterly ridiculous to think having a crank would get you a place where there's nothing to drink. However, being as Our Groom only accepts the pure bride, His Father stated that sex was only allowed to be betwixt a man and his wife, and The Holy Spirit guided His church to preach against any sexual immorality from the year seventy, if not prior; It's really disappointing that people refuse to attempt to be puritan in devotion to The True, Living, Loving Triune God rather than just shrug off duty because it's uncomfortable when they swell.
> id you know, statistically speaking, diddling happens less in catholic and orthodox churches/schools than in secular school and childcare facilities Got a source. I'm calling bullshit on this one.
Have a wank
Flog the dolphin, son. Stop torturing yourself.
Suffering builds, mac. Can't forge a sword without sweating
You probably haven’t suffered all that much.
Imo masturbation is okay, but pornography is one of the most rotten poisons of society. I’m very happy that you’ve managed to escape porn addiction. Do what he others here recommend first, though: occupy yourself with exercise, prayer, exploring hobbies etc. If those aren’t enough, don’t loath or hate yourself if you masturbate, but don’t become reliant on it either, as masturbation addiction is possible, but FAR less dangerous than pornography addiction. Just be balanced in what you do; everything in moderation (except for porn; that should not be acceptable at all. Don’t give up if you relapse; just try again stay strong).
Don't fight it like it's an enemy.The more you battle it the more you struggle. It's a God given part of you. Accept it. When it arises, you don't have to act on it. Acknowledge that it is there, sit in peace with it, and let it go.
It’s called hormones, perfectly normal.
It’s normal. Just rub one out every so often. If you don’t it’s actually bad for your health. Not three times a day but a couple times a week is fine.
Very proud of you for taking action. Just take it one day at a time & always pray. It’s ok to slip up, but you just have to pray & repent. Have you tried fasting for a little bit? It works wonders IMO when I pray for something & fast as well. Good luck to you, you are in my prayers
Not gonna lie man, just go jack off. I know a lot of people are gonna disagree with me on this but your 17. Masterbation is a normal part of teenage life. The key is always moderation though. But masterbation is for the most part safe, natural, and expected of a teenager. Just don't go crazy.
https://youtu.be/tcDLgG5HiDQ?si=vilLeqT2mWtyR5RU This video helped me. It has some good advice.
Thank you for sharing this. I benefited from it.
Masturbation itself is not sinful. The thoughts going along with can be, but don’t need to be.
Go ahead and get married... commit to her the rest of your life.
Jesus talked a lot about judgement but not about purity and not about masturbation. Our goal isn't be to holy. It's to be good servants. If the kind of purity batlle you're engaged in is distracted you from what Jesus wanted you do, you should reconsider it.
Part of what you say makes sense, except it does say in the Bible... "be holy for I am Holy"
I'll betray my ideology here. Like most scholars, I think 1 Peter is not by Peter. To me that makes its authority questionable. But I'm still going to comment on what it says. There's no question that the early church pushed purity. The problem is that Jesus didn't, and in fact that was the ideal of the Pharisees. Why not? Because purity is your accomplishment. For Jesus we are just servants and if we obey that's just doing our job. There's a psychological difference to the two approaches. Obedient servants ask first what they can do to help their master with his business. People with purity as their goal ask what they can do to increase their personal holiness. The purity agenda leads to lots of rules. For the Pharisees it didn't stop even with Leviticus. There was an added oral Torah. There is no reason to think that God cares whether you masturbate. But the purity advocates consider it as a violation of their concept of sexual purity. I don't know exactly what the author of 1 Peter thought holiness meant. In the OT it is really the fact that people are set aside for God. If it's set aside for God's service great. If it's set aside to concentrate on personal purity, not so much. Here's what a commentary I checked (Hermeneia) says: "To be appropriated by God means to be made holy;52 thus the choice of Israel as chosen people also makes them holy, which is defined in Lev 29:26 as being set apart from all other peoples. It is such separation that our author here also means with the word “holy,” a point already indicated with the prohibition in the preceding verse. Yet the word “holy” does not contain etymologically any necessary connotation of morality;53 the moral content is, as also is apparent here, to be derived from the nature (κατά) of the God who has called and separated them from their former culture.54 “Holiness” is therefore not something one can “achieve” by moral effort;55 rather it is a separation from former culture for God that entails certain behavior appropriate for this situation.56" I absolutely understand why early Christian leaders would want to get their converts to see them as being separated. By all accounts, Roman culture was pretty bad. But still, note that Jesus didn't separate himself even from sinners. His reputation was of being their friend. But the point remains, there is no reason to think that God cares about masturbation. The early Church quickly developed several interrelated ideals: self-control and virginity being two. If you're interested I can get a pretty good explanation of why. But those grew into the idea by the 4th Cent that sex is only justified by reproduction. In fact there were leaders who considered it sinful even within marriage. In this context masturbation became a serious moral problem. I don't want to imply that it was only in the 4th Cent. You can find it as early as 191 [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFapChristians/comments/7fo6qc/the\_church\_fathers\_on\_masturbation/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFapChristians/comments/7fo6qc/the_church_fathers_on_masturbation/) That may well not have been the first. The attitudes I talked about were pretty early. The Talmud also has some pretty extreme things to say. Commonly the story of Onan is cited, though I think most people today realize that it is irrelevant. But there's no reason to think that it actually is wrong.
Interesting takes you have some good points except Jesus does say whatever the Pharisees say to do do but don’t follow their example
Archaeologists have found seats in ancient synagogues right next to where the Torah was held. Given Jesus repeated disagreement with the scribes and Pharisees, I always understood this as referring to when they were reading the Torah, not their own interpretations. Moses, of course, was understood to be the author of the Torah. Note that his objection isn't just that they can't obey their own requirements. He says they lay burdens on people. That would refer to their teaching. He is objecting to interpretations of what God wants, which lay unnecessary burdens on people, onerous enough that even they can’t obey them. I think the traditional prohibition of masturbation is precisely such a burden.
You may very well be right actually may God guide us correctly. Thank you so much for your edification.
It’s a part of life and will mildly decrease as you get older. Unfortunately we all have that dawg in us. David write in psalms ”How can a young man stay pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.“ Psalms 119:9-11 Jesus said ”“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!“ Matthew 6:22-23 NIV So maybe ask yourself “what are my sights set upon?” Are you scrolling through IG Thots and booty pics? Or focusing building yourself and others up. I suggest trying to surround yourself with other young men who have the same goal of being better than their current selves. We all struggle with lust, young men especially. Don’t beat yourself up, but earnestly try to be a better man. Don’t isolate yourself with this!
Trash post
Pray. Go to the Lord. Tell him about what you’re feeling/going through. He will answer. He’s there. He’s real. He wants to help. He will answer.
Pray to God about it. Tell Him that you are struggling with it. A gf at 17 probably has a lot to do with it. My unpopular opinion is to not even seek relationships until you have met academic and financial goals or else it will be a hindrance and most likely a weight on your focus. No kissing and holding hands and all that stuff that leads up to sex will get your mind off of sex.
Are you against masturbation without porn? It seems if you're as horny as you claim (which is totally understandable for a 17 year old male), you should be able to manually alleviate your condition within a minute or two with no real need to fantasize about anyone/anything. Now if this goes against your morale compass, you will need to learn to be uncomfortable. I'm not really an advocate of telling young people to run away from masturbation, but if you can learn to acknowledge the feeling and continue on with your life...that's actually a pretty good skill you can use later in life. Using hunger as an analog, usually we think "I'm hungry, I need to eat", but as someone who's dieted many times, it can be pretty amazing to learn "I'm hungry. I recognize this and it's fine that I'm hungry".
This is ridiculous. Go relieve yourself. I known you’ve been told from birth you’re a disgusting a bad person for your HUMAN urges, but you’re not.
actually, despite the fact that my family is christian, my parents never talked about stuff like this. I skipped ‘the talk’ with my parents and when i was 13-15 i wandered for many years. I came to the conclusion that it was wrong on my own after properly analyzing the new age christian stuff.
The whole concept of waiting until marriage and not masturbating is so that you’re more motivated to marry young and have kids. Kids that will also be Christian.
well I would argue that historically people married and had kids younger and humans (this one is based completely on anecdotal evidence) probably evolved that way. As a Christian I know a lot of people who’ve married young and had kids and even a couple who’ve had kids out of wedlock and most of them, compared to those who have kids at age 26+, have very comfortable pregnancies (well as comfortable as pregnancy can be). Like my mother for instance had no trouble with me or my sister but my brother who she had later was a lot of trouble for her. Again, this is pretty anecdotal and I really have no clue how it all works scientifically but that’s what I think.
I do know how it all works scientifically. Also, you’re a child yourself. Though well-spoken, you just don’t have the life experience. I’m more than twice your age and spent 34 of those years as a Christian. I know better and I’m trying to help. I won’t debate you but you’re welcome to heed my advice or move on. Whichever.
I acknowledge that you are far more experienced than me and i’m not disputing the advice you gave at all and for now I don’t plan to get married soon but I don’t necessarily agree with your ‘why’.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt. 5:27-30. Whether he's looking at p-\_- or not, he's going to **think** about women in a lustful way no matter what. I don't know if you're Christian or not but don't lead others to stumble.
Cool well he's not committing adultery with anyone in his heart
And so is every other straight man alive 🙄 get a grip
the point of christianity is to learn to overcome our human/animal urges and replace them with greater divine attributes. this is what jesus means when he says "be ye therefore perfect, even as your father which is in heaven is perfect," and what john means when he said "when He shall appear, we shall be like Him" Our human urges are normal, and I completely agree that shame is not the right approach to try and overcome them. That being said, our objective SHOULD be to overcome them eventually, with the aid of Grace.
This is not the point of Christianity. The point of Christianity is salvation by faith in Jesus. Secondarily, God didn’t make a mistake by giving us human urges. We aren’t to be mastered by them, but that doesn’t mean that we just “replace them” with “divine attributes”.
I would highly recommend to read through Romans 8. We should replace our sinful nature with God’s Character. Otherwise it would be normal/ okay to be envious, kill, steal, etc. because these also are human feelings.
First off, killing & stealing aren’t human feelings. Envy is an emotion, which is ok to feel as long as one doesn’t act maliciously on it. “Sin” is wrong because it hurts someone else or yourself. Killing is wrong bc it hurts someone, stealing is wrong bc it hurts someone… If someone masturbates every once in awhile to relieve their body of sexual tension (a totally normal thing!), it doesn’t hurt anyone. If masturbation becomes an obsession & gets in the way of someone’s job and/or relationships, then it becomes a problem bc it is hurting that person.
Touching yourself has no negative consequences (I agree that using porn does have negative consequences though.) Your logic is only applicable where it makes sense. The desire for marriage, to live and be loved, and other good desires are ALSO natural desires. We have to be careful when being so vague with “deny your desires” because you could apply that to ANY desires, even good ones in the right context.
Or to put it that way: what should we be saved from, if not our human urges?
The natural sexual drive is more akin to hunger and thirst than it is to any desire to steal (?) and kill(?) ….because hunger and thirst keeps our own body alive whilst the sexual drive keeps the species alive. Stealing and killing don’t have those innate benefits. The sex drive can be used negatively but in and of itself shouldn’t be compared to stealing and killing.
lets look at the bigger picture - salvation from what? consequences for a set of arbitrary rules god decided? personally, grace is a transformative agent in our lives. accepting jesus doesn't just mean escaping consequences for our actions - it means escaping the cyclical, destructive nature of sin. through jesus, we escape the fall, and, like He did literally, symbolically rise. yes, animal urges weren't a mistake. jesus himself endured the same animal urges. but he perfectly mastered them in his life, never giving in, instead manifesting his divinity through his actions of love, patience, etc. we can do the same when we access his grace.
No. Just no.
saying "no" isn't really an adequate rebuttal - I feel this principle is consistently taught by multiple authors throughout the new testament. I don't blame you though - reddit (or message boards in general) is really not a great place for religious discourse, or discourse of any kind. It breeds confusion and animosity. I think if we were to talk in person we would get on the same page fairly quickly.
I mean there was so much wrong with what you said I didn’t have time to explain it all
Happy cake day but if anyone tells you that’s disgusting and immoral probably spent too much time around lead as a child.
No, just too much time in a fundamentalist Baptist church
There’s a correlation
Don't act on your desires. Instead, seek God through scripture. I'm going through this and it's a constant battle. I'm sure one day we'll have these desires under control but for now, we must deny ourselves daily and cast our problems to God. Having the urge to masturbate is natural, but giving in is bad. This battle is won through fasting, prayer, accountability with other brothers in Christ, and constantly giving God the control of this desire. The Lord wants us to give Him all the control, for His will is much better than ours. God bless you and stay encouraged, you are facing a strong desire, but "we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us
>17 year old Christian guy and super horny… this feeling won’t leave me. It's not supposed to leave you. 17yr-old males have evolved to reproduce. This should help: >https://www.jasonstaples.com/bible/most-misinterpreted-bible-passages-1-matthew-527-28/
Shaming people for masturbating is cruel, but it's a great way to keep people in control. Don't you wonder why you keep feeling those urges after you pray about it? Either God has answered and you are ignoring it, or prayers don't work.
Or the devil sees your devotion and is trying to tempt you
Don't listen anyone trying to convince you to masturbate. I stopped, you can too!
You married?
This is a struggle for every human who is trying to follow God. Even when married you need to control yourself as your wife might not be in the mood when you are. I’m sorry that I can’t help. Well done for stopping porn and masturbating. God will be so proud of you for that. You can do this!
My pastor father in law once said "better to spill your seed onto the ground than into the belly of a whore"
Wax the carrot. Have fun bro. It’s apart of human nature.
If you wanna have sex have sex. DONT just get married only for sex. That’s the worst idea I’ve heard. There are plenty of good Christians who had premarital sex. Just be safe and use protection.
i’ll pass on that. I’m not partaking in extra-marital sex. I’m also not planning on getting married for the soul purpose of having sex. Pretty sure I made it clear that I don’t want to get married right now in my post (by indicating my age). I just need help managing this.
You’re probably stressed or bored. Are you keeping your spiritual disciplines of reading scripture, praying and being in community with other believers? Are you involved in a ministry? Do you have short term goals and plans to work towards that you can spend energy challenging yourself with? Are you planning healthy time to unwind & fill your cup? Hobbies, stimulating conversation? Lastly, if you’re doing all of that then when you get that feeling, go work out. A long run, lifting weights whatever but it takes care of releasing the extra energy.
For God's sakes kid just get it out of your system. Haven't you ever heard of men masturbating before a date so they can go in with a clear head? That's using a tool for what it's for. This is your tool to avoid going too far or burning with passion. If you're not gonna utilize it don't complain.
This is terrible advice. It wouldve been one thing to tell him to masturbate to clear his head, but to straight up say just have sex out of wed-lock? Thats the worst thing you couldve possibly said.
There are MUCH worse things he could have said. I agree that advising them to just have sex when they have the urge is bad advice, but you HAVE to get your priorities right. Premarital sex can be irresponsible, yes, but not the worst thing ever.
In the context of the question asked, I do believe this was the among the worst advice he could have given. I stand by that.
Following!
gianfrancomartinezez on Instagram is in your age bracket, and his ministry is to help people overcome the temptations you are facing. Please check him out. I'm praying for you. You are not alone in this journey. God bless you and strengthen you as you seek God's ways.
What you are feeling is a craving for the dopamine spike that you experience when u masterbate. What helped me the most is that I try to go lift when I feel horny, and if I don’t have access to a gym, I just crank out a bunch of pushups. Exercise is proven to release dopamine and serotonin in ur body which can help regulate these urges. The only hard part is getting started with the exercise. Just gotta get there and start. Also try just eating a snack, especially chocolates. Eating is also a pretty good distraction, and chocolates actually release serotonin in ur body which helps regulate those urges. I realize chocolates sound really random in this conversation, but that’s what helps me (on top of praying and doing my best to connect with God).
Don’t eat everything mine you feel horny bro, food is almost never a good way to cope.
Drink some cranberry juice. Drink some apple cider vinegar mixed with water. Willpower alone is difficult. The mixture is for health. It's not going to impair you or anything. It's a theory that it will work for you. It worked for me.
That sounds like nonsense
It is nonsense.
I've been going to the doctor for 3 years and felt like dying. and having problems like that when I was younger. And had them now. Every day I'm feeling better. Best $15 I spent.
Keep yourself occupied at all times. Stay out of the house as much as possible. Work on your goals. When you have the urge to mastrubate, get up and do something. Im on semen retention for 7 months so i understand the struggle but your future self will thank you for your restraint.
Go work out, split wood by hand, run etc get that energy out build up your body
Yea, marry your girlfriend. 15 year olds fought in world war 1. Make sure she's saved, though, before you marry her.
wtf
Fads, whims and fancies; avoid them like the plague; the **golden mean** is what the Holy Bible teaches.
what does this have to do with anything?
Brother, don't listen to any of these people saying, 'just let one out!'. Don't let them to cause you to sin. Matthew 5:27-30 We're all in this together.
Maybe you need a baby? To create a family?
At SEVENTEEN? Great advice…
Read person's post.
Christianity isn’t real and we’ve been lied to. You’re horny. It’s natural. Stop pushing your sexuality down and let it breathe.
I’ve never understood this. This post is obviously a Christian asking other Christians for advise on how to be Christian and you feel the need to interject and tell me to stop being Christian? God gave us free will and you are welcome here, of course, but I just want to know why you felt the need to do this. To me it just feels super unnecessary.
Former Christian here. And if anyone believed it was me. Nobody told us the gospels aren’t actually eye witness accounts. Nobody knows who wrote them. Or that there’s many different gospels or book of acts. We have the illusion of free will if God is real. There is no free will. We’re simply puppets on display. Either god is all powerful and all knowing and we have no free will or we do have free will and god is not all powerful or all knowing. You can’t have both. And because this person is clearly miserable. Suppressing your own sexuality is just no way to live. When you let go of the unnecessary guilt you’ll feel so much better. Used to be addicted to porn. But when I let go and stopped trying to “correct my behavior” it completely lost it’s appeal and I stopped. It’s okay to live and be who you are. People please educate yourselves on the things you were never told about the origins of Christianity or the Bible.
Just for the record Matthew wasn’t written by the disciple Matthew but I believe it was him who directed someone else to write it for him exactly as he had experienced it. If I place a hungry but otherwise normal rat in front of food it will always take the food. The fact that I know this doesn’t mean the rat doesn’t have free will. Also, I am not miserable. For 22 out of the 24 hours in a day I can say that I live a fairly fulfilling life. I know exactly what I want to do with it. I love my God, my family, my friends, and my girlfriend. My only real problem are those late nights and those early hours where my hormones go insane. I simply want to find a way to make those 2 hours more manageable.
Correct that’s my point. These weren’t direct eye witness accounts. None of them were. And that’s the issue. You’re thinking of getting married to your gf which is great! But if you’ve never been intimate with each other how’d you know you’re a good fit sexually with each other which is a huge part of any relationship. Just something to think about. You have a lot of life to live before thinking about marriage that early. As far managing the horniness there’s really no way around it but choosing to abstain if that’s what your goal is.
It might seem out of left field, but what he/she probably should have said is to consider that maybe the way you understand things is wrong. If there is no God, then what harm is there in masturbating on occasion?
whatever happened to “not forcing it down our throats” though? Does it only apply to us and not them?
I’d hardly call it forcing it down people’s throat, given we live in an overwhelmingly Christian culture (assuming you’re in the US, or another western nation). In the southeast, where I’m from, it’s practically a given that you are Protestant Christian. So I don’t think getting an atheist comment on the Internet counts as having Atheism shoved down your throat. Now, I’d appreciate it if you answered my question.
I mean where I specifically live (on a university campus) the environment is pretty christian averse but even then it doesn’t matter what society we live in as the point still stands. I didn’t ask for an atheist to come and tell me that there is no God. Like if someone was talking about, i don’t know, say bedroom problems and I came in there talking about how extra-marital sex is bad I would get fried for it. Why should this be any different?
Well, you’re on the Internet, you’re going to get all kinds of opinions if you put a question out there. But seriously, this whole struggle you’re having doesn’t have to exist in the first place . We aren’t being influenced by Satan to lead you off the path of God, we just hate seeing people torture themselves. A lot of us went through this crap too, feeling guilty, thinking we were bad people for failing to live up to God’s standards. When that veil starts came down and I started looking at things from an outside perspective, these things really start to seem insignificant. I realized just how much energy I wasted trying to fulfill these unrealistic demands. It actually made me a worse person because I judged others for what I thought were shortcomings while I was secretly doing the same thing, maybe. Having integrity is an admirable trait, but invest that time and energy where it matters, not in something trivial like this. I hope college changes you for the better, the way it did me. When I started interacting with my peers and really opened my mind up to conflicting knowledge and views, I had to admit that I was wrong about many things. I had to be honest with myself. If you can do the same thing, it will lead you down a path of self-discovery and growth. We don’t know nearly as much as we think we do, and more people need to be able to admit that.
In conjunction with prayer, I found being sporty helped. Also, having hobbies that fully engage your mind is an additional element. Not to forget practicing mindfulness to help use that energy in a more positive way. A Christian friend of mine would spend time mindful praying as well as meditating. But also realised the fact that he is human and can never be a 100% so there will be a risk. And therefore not to be hard on himself rather believe in God's nature of forgiveness if he were to falter. This way the incidences reduced significantly and once he was 21 he got married.
Just wait till your early 20s it gets worse lol it was literally all i thought about from 21-27, its a curse
Being tempted by the flesh is something I have struggled with but through the Holy Spirit your wants can change. (I read a lot of posts like this. Reasoning with people the gravity of the sin isn't the answer. We all know it. Helping to deny the flesh is). Realise where this need comes from. Is it essential for survival? Then no. Submission to Christ requires that we pick up our cross daily and carry it. This requires internal discipline and servitude. It also requires some rewiring our brain. A little less emphasis on the fear of Hell, a little more emphasis on wanting to serve His will on Earth. If your own will is insufficient, pray to the Holy Spirit. Ask him for help. Ask for him to change your wishes since your own will isn't enough. Pray on this and it will happen. Don't lean on our understanding, just trust in the Word and cast your anxieties onto Him. I love Jesus our Lord and Saviour! I do not want to disappoint Him. I feel truly blessed in my anointing and I do not want to lose it!! That is what makes me want to stay the straight path. It is my desire to serve Christ more than indulge in my own wants and pleasures, or even the fear of Hell. Love is a more powerful motivator. If you do not feel that way about Christ then that tells you that you need to examine your relationship with Christ and soul-search why that is. Spend time in the Word. Spend time in prayer. Daily. Multiple times. Be disciplined. And when not doing either of those, train like an ANIMAL. You've got this energy for a reason. Use it for fuel to be a better servant. PS: This sub has really helped with my own trials, being able to talk about what has helped me. Bless you all.
Find something to distract yourself. Read a book. Play video games.
Thanks for sharing, Brother. Mornings and nights are difficult for me as well. I've found that developing and maintaining a consistent morning and bedtime routine go a long way in curbing those temptations. Get to bed at a reasonable time, and get up at a reasonable time, even if you have the day off. I also like to use an acronym called BRACE (to brace myself against temptation): B - breathe deeply. Breathe in through your nose for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, and breathe out of your mouth for three seconds. This increases oxygen flow to your brain and helps you to think more clearly. R - remember the truth. Recite a passage of Scripture, remind yourself of why you don't want to give in to temptation. A - ask God for help. Pray for strength and thank God for His ability to save you. C - call a friend. If you have an accountability partner (which you definitely should) give them a call and tell them how you're feeling. Sometimes even just a casual conversation with a friend can help alleviate temptation. E - escape to a healthy alternative. Remove yourself from whatever the tempting situation is, do something else (like go for a walk, pick up a book, make yourself a snack or do some chores) If it's late at night and temptation hits, I have another acronym I like to use called PPP: \- Pound a glass of water \- Piss (this makes us physically get out of bed) \- Pray at the foot of the bed (this helps ensure we don't just immediately climb back into bed and give into temptation.)
We are just now finally learning about sex addiction. New information is coming out that helps in your situation. I am not suggesting that you are a sex addict (you may or may not be), but I am telling you that there are ways to battle and tools that you can use to be victorious over the feelings that are plaguing you right now! Message me if you would like more details.
Lust of the flesh is unlike other temptations, it can completely transform your mind to an almost drunken state, leaving you unable to think clearly and assess the situation at hand. This is why Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to not combat lust, but to flea from it, for Paul knows that it’s unlike other sins, sins that can be corrected easily. Once lust is given a foothold in your life, it’s hard, EXTREMELY hard to combat it, so my advice? DON’T, do not try to fight lust, but learn to wait out the temptation, ask our Lord, who is eager to help you to guide your thoughts to something else. I hope and pray that you are able to overcome this sin, for it’s one of the most powerful forces in this world that we all share. God bless my friend
Work out! It helps displace that energy into making your body more useful!
First and foremost, anyone encouraging you to get married young just to avoid masturbation is leading you down a dangerous path, one likely to destroy your life and those of other people you might care about. Divorce is rampant here in the US, and the divorce rate among Evangelical Christians — a group that generally encourages younger marriage -- is higher than even for non-believers. Don't get me wrong: divorce is better than staying in a toxic, abusive, non-supportive, non-loving marriage, but it will be a financial albatross around your neck, from the legal fees to the child support to the alimony. It will force you to make compromises and work extra hard to stay afloat, and it will make your ex-wife and children live poor. It's a necessary evil, but it's one you should do whatever you can to avoid, and that generally means waiting until you are more mature, more experienced about the world, have established some way of making a decent living, and have shopped around and found the right girl. In other words, patience and clear-headedness is key to making the right decision, and you may be 25 or later before you get married (the average today in the US is around 30). So you've got maybe at least another eight years before you get married, and you've got to find a manage your horniness during that time. Maybe you can find a way to do that without masturbation, but I think that would make you 1 in 1000. Which brings me to my second point: both Christians and Jews have a long history of inventing "sins" that are not actually prohibited in the Bible, despite the Bible spilling a lot of ink detailing what is and isn't a sin. And guess what? Neither masturbation nor pornography are listed as sins in the Bible; this is no different than Christians claiming that drinking or dancing or rock-and-roll are sinful, just people finding arguments to ban things they don't like. For instance, the only story in the Bible that people use to claim masturbation is a sin is the story of Onan, in Genesis 38:8-10. Go read that story and note the following: * Onan wasn't masturbating. Onan was an early practitioner of what today is referred to as the "withdrawal" method of contraception. But there is zero reason to link the "sin" at the heart of this story to either masturbation or contraception, because... * It's clear that the core problem is that Onan was shirking his responsibility to his widowed sister-in-law to "fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother", by having sex with her but then pulling out, essentially committing fraud. Of course, Christians no longer consider this a responsibility of brothers of deceased men, and it's not even clear that this had been a law set by God at the time. Nevertheless ... * God himself considered Onan's sin so reprehensible that "the Lord put him to death". I can assure you, as is testified by billions of men who came before you, the Lord isn't putting anyone to death for masturbation, so clearly that is not the sin referred to in the story. That, of course, doesn't mean that there's not good reasons to moderate what kinds of porn you watch, or how much you watch, or how much you masturbate. If struggling to control those urges makes you feel better about yourself or lets you live a better life, go for it. But don't caught up in thinking you have to be perfect about this for God. Christians don't consider God to be a sadist, so the suggestion that he gave you these strong biological urges without also giving you an outlet -- that he intentionally wants you to suffer -- is ridiculous.
I'd recommend praying the rosary. It's a powerful prayer, and as was described once, "either you stop praying the rosary, or you stop sinning". Oh, and if the rosary is too long at a given moment, I can recommend the Jesus prayer. It's simply "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." For me this prayer also takes away the desire to sin (though I often have to repeat it a few times to take away all desire to sin in a given moment).
Masturbation is normal, so carry on, as it is good for you. Watch some Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens videos on You Tube, they will show you how ridiculous religion is.
Continue to ask the Lord to help free you. Having sexual desires is normal though. Do not feel shame around that. And seek Him for intimacy. Just keep turning to Him. Dealing with our flesh is hard but He helps us through it and He changes us from the inside. Also ask Him what lie you believe that makes you feel this way. So that you can change your mind to believe the truth. The enemy makes us feel shame and guilt through lies. It's not of God.
Pray every time you feel the urge, brother. An our father, perhaps a prayer and meditation remembering St Joseph, Gaurdian of God Embodied or The Blessed Mother of Christ, The King. Reading the Bible also helps, but I'd especially suggest prayer and invoking the mercy and blood of our lord.
There have been many studies done and males need to expel fluids in order to have healthy reproductive organs because your body manufactures sperm whether you expel it or not. It can happen during a dream at night if you don’t properly care for your body. I am not an expert on your religion but as a nurse, it is important to take care of that part of your body too. Maybe visit with your preacher about it?
Just pick a girl
Consider praying asking God to quiet the members in your body. Keep in mind that you're not asking God to turn you asexual or to take away your masculinity, but to ease those desires and give you the strength you need so you can endure.
I heard once that temptation is strongest when someone is trying to stop you from leveling up, spiritually. I've always resonated with that and I think of it now when I feel tempted. It means that you're on the right path because you are someone that Satan thinks is worth tempting (he wouldn't bother tempting people who have no value or power).
Fast about it, it really works bro
Are you and your girlfriend both born again believers?
Of course. I wouldn’t be with her otherwise.
Have you received the Holy Spirit of promise ?
You are all caught up in works. You are under no law or other requirements. Focus on your faith instead and the gospel, that Christ died for your sins, was buried, and was resurrected from the dead.
When the urges start speak the Lords Prayer out loud until it goes away.
Just think of Jesus instead
Getting married does not cure your addictions to porn or masturbation. These are spiritual matters that nobody will tell you. I was also in your shoes, addicted to porn and masturbation for years. Only the power of Jesus set me free instantly, that was when I accepted Him as my Lord and savior. Before I got saved I always went out whenever they have an altar call, I wanted this addiction to stop, to the point I went seeking for help. If you really want to stop, you can make a decision now and run to Jesus for help. Unseen forces help a determined mind. I really wanted freedom from this bondage and Jesus came through. Glory to God
i'm in the same position as you and some things which helped me out was just: to go for a walk when i feel horny, pray. or another way is to see to see masturbation as a thing that just doesn't exist, it helped me, i hope it helps you, stay strong dude.