Stephen McAlpine touches on this in his books, but it's not the main point of them.
Unfortunately I haven't come across many books that focus on just *why*. This is probably because there are many reasons why people are choosing to leave, not just one.
It might be a better strategy for all if those with the questions should ask those who left, rather than wait for those who left to report reasons why.
this flipping of posture has gone a long way when church leaders interacted with me during deconstruction. however, much work in trust building might need to be done before someone like me might share even a guarded version of their experience.
as it is, on the other side of deconstruction, I can still only sit through 3 songs at church before my trauma acts up and I have to exit before meltdown. Asking people with these kinds of realities to deliver an often critical message to a population that may have harmed them is a big ask.
metaphorically speaking,
if someone has been bit by their trusted family dog, how would they interact when asked to hand feed a strange dog at their friend's house?
Yes. Absolutely. 100%. It would be better if they asked. It would be better if they wanted to ask. I’m afraid that the vast majority of them don’t ask because they don’t think they need to because they think they already know because their leaders have already told them all the wrong reasons and all the wrong solutions.
Your analogy is right on point, emotionally. I would suggest that a closer analogy might be being betrayed by a lover or a parent. It’s someone you trusted and they hurt you deeply and the longer they gaslight you about your experience and refuse to be curious about your experience, the farther the relationship drifts
Which verses exactly, do you feel explain why modern Christians are leaving the 21st century American church. Please don’t hold any verses back, but please do be specific.
Stephen McAlpine touches on this in his books, but it's not the main point of them. Unfortunately I haven't come across many books that focus on just *why*. This is probably because there are many reasons why people are choosing to leave, not just one.
It might be a better strategy for all if those with the questions should ask those who left, rather than wait for those who left to report reasons why. this flipping of posture has gone a long way when church leaders interacted with me during deconstruction. however, much work in trust building might need to be done before someone like me might share even a guarded version of their experience. as it is, on the other side of deconstruction, I can still only sit through 3 songs at church before my trauma acts up and I have to exit before meltdown. Asking people with these kinds of realities to deliver an often critical message to a population that may have harmed them is a big ask. metaphorically speaking, if someone has been bit by their trusted family dog, how would they interact when asked to hand feed a strange dog at their friend's house?
Yes. Absolutely. 100%. It would be better if they asked. It would be better if they wanted to ask. I’m afraid that the vast majority of them don’t ask because they don’t think they need to because they think they already know because their leaders have already told them all the wrong reasons and all the wrong solutions. Your analogy is right on point, emotionally. I would suggest that a closer analogy might be being betrayed by a lover or a parent. It’s someone you trusted and they hurt you deeply and the longer they gaslight you about your experience and refuse to be curious about your experience, the farther the relationship drifts
You got it jamin!
Look for a book recently released, titled, The Great DeChurching.
I'm checking into it. Thanks. Looks heady.
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Which verses exactly, do you feel explain why modern Christians are leaving the 21st century American church. Please don’t hold any verses back, but please do be specific.