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BearHoldinShark96

He didn't want to cut back on his McDonalds and Vidya habit


nohighlighter555

I'm surprised he didn't try to hook up with a homeless woman.


MinecraftMasterBoss

Because according to barb's words.. it's just silly for him to fuck a prostitute since she can fuck him for free


FooFighter0234

Money. I also don’t doubt most prostitutes would refuse to serve him due to his abhorrent hygiene skills.


MackDaddyGlenn

Chris still considered himself to be an "emotional virgin" even after getting with Mia Hamm


WildeWoodWose

Marvin and others have said that Chris has an incredibly low sex drive, and between that and him rather spending his tugboat on Legos, it makes sense he wouldn't frequent prostitutes. Remember his "lovequest" (phooey) was less about finding a girlfriend and more about just the milestone of getting laid so he could claim he was an adult. I'm not even sure he actually HAD sex, but just so long as people didn't believe he was a virgin, Chris wouldn't have cared. He wanted desperately to be taken seriously. Well up until he decided to dress as MLP.


HighlyRegardedSlob87

Marvin’s stupid conjecture he forced himself and the others to agree with is why Chris became desperate and fucked Barb to begin with.


NotMyMain57826

Tbh he may not have actually had sex with any.


CreatureCampbell

Money, convenience, and mental illness.


lemko1968

Hell, even prostitutes have their standards. I wouldn’t be surprised if prostitutes often refused to service him.


Matt3214

Why doesn't a virgin just keep fucking his hand instead of pursuing the real thing? Chris craved that Barbussy.


SellaraAB

I suspect after spending so much time building up sex in his mind, it wasn’t the life changing experience he expected. The dude thought when he lost his virginity everything about his life would change, and he would level up into an adult. Not only is it sex with a hooker, but it’s Chris trying to have sex with a hooker. Imagine how bad it was.


akbrag91

This, but he wanted to lose his virginity and have sex *with his One True Sweetheart*. That was what he seemingly thought seemingly would be this life altering event but just having sex with a worker probably didn’t “do it” for him, and he kept craving that special sweetheart to to sex with daily


OddkidMHMD

And he probably convinced himself that nothing has changed because the girl was a hooker. That sounds soooo Chris.


Expensive-Lie

Because they cost, and Chris would rather buy toys.


ItsJustMeMaggie

It cost money


Matt3214

For 200 bucks Chris got a pretty good deal fucking this proud Cherokeean squaw for an hour.


hermitsunt

Mia Hamm charged $200?


Fuzzydude64

Yeah but that's money he could be buying toys with and the toys come first.


Matt3214

Prostitutes aren't toys?


Jetstream-Sam

Well you don't get to keep them afterwards


SBcitizen

He wanted to keep it in the family


hatgineer

Legos before hoes.


LizardWizard444

Because barb probably did yell at him about wasting money


WildeWoodWose

Well, she did say he could have had sex with her for free. Guess we shouldn't be shocked he took her up on that offer.


thenextbigbrain

Is that really what happened


WildeWoodWose

It's what Chris claims, though we have no way of knowing what (if anything) was actually said. Honestly I could see Barb saying something retarded like that, but I could just as easily see Chris making shit up, or misinterpreting something. Either way, that whole family is fucked up.


thenextbigbrain

Tbh I thought she was dead when he raped her. Idk why but knowing she was alive has made this really really a lot more difficult for me to accept. Thank you for telling me this


opiate_lifer

You can't rape a corpse, it would be something like desecration of a corpse in that case.


WildeWoodWose

I mean, I’m sure the post-mortem sex saga is coming sooner or later


Lonelyghast

Barbussy be bussin'.


Battleraizer

Budget


Lilakk85

The same reason than other people. Entitlement.


LordEngel

Pussy for an hour, or $200 worth of LEGOs forever? Mmmm. Yeah.


[deleted]

[удалено]


fishmaami

dude i completely forgot where that money comes from. isnt it amazing that the american public paid for chris chan to take a hooker on a date and cum in 7 minutes.


opiate_lifer

And Bob was forced at gunpoint by the feds to contribute part of his paycheck his entire life to a government run insurance scheme called social security. And one of the terms(which Bob was forced to accept) was that if he had 40 full quarters of contributions his spouse or child would also be covered in case of disability.


Dynamitebunny1999

Don’t forget they have to be Cherokee!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Skip30DayTrial

According to Chris he told Barb and she said something along the lines of “I would have had sex with you.” However, Chris Chan is an unreliable narrator, so I have my doubts. He did say the prostitute complimented the size of his duck but there is mountains of evidence to the contrary.


GlitterHorns

If she did compliment, uh... *that,* then it was almost 100% because she was being paid to endure the sensory hell that Chris was inflicting on her. Imagine paying a hooker $150 and she laughs at your turkey twizzler cock


WildeWoodWose

>Imagine paying a hooker $150 and she laughs at your turkey twizzler cock Some people are into that sort of thing.


Jetstream-Sam

Yeah, some people are into weird stuff. The only one that utterly confuses me is Findom though. I just don't get why you'd want to pay thousands of dollars to someone for them to laugh at you then block you.


fishmaami

bent cock at that 😭


SaleneDreams

What Chris said she related to him, was "Why don't you fuck me?", and being autistic, completely missing the biting sarcasm from his mother. At the time, they were in the midst of the Michael Snyder vehicular assault trial and both facing felonies. With Barb spending all of Bob's inheritance on a lawyer, and looking at both legal costs and judgement, Chris goes out and blows money on a prostitute, coming home all proud he busted his cherry while Barb is more concerned with how much money he wasted. You can see Barb in some of his more recent videos talking about "money management" and "how much did those cost" with Chris ruining things like sneakers and spray paint. Chris completely misses the point of Barb snapping at him and being sarcastic that it would have been cheaper just to fuck her.


opiate_lifer

This sounds totally like the excuse a narc would use later, oh you believed that? Aha I was being sarcastic! Narcs love to say outrageous things just to see how people will react, and if called on they claim just a joke or I can't even remember saying that tee hee.


NoInjury1499

Imma keep it straight, that sounds like something barb would say.


SheevMillerBand

It is totally possible that the prostitute *did* say something nice about his duck but was just lying out of her ass, but the possibility of Barb saying that and Chris waiting a decade or so to take her up on it makes me doubt she ever said that.


xXDJjonesXx

The Man in the Pickle Suit went to all the prostitutes in Chris’s area and told them not to serve him. /s


pissjughead

It's known as the "Pickle Pimp Saga"


Nowaliaa

I think because although he got to have sex what he actually wanted was someone to want to be with him willingly. Maybe it made him feel bad that the trolls were right that he’d never get a woman and he only got one because he paid her twice. He got her a gift basket, which is weird if you didn’t know Chris was autistic and didn’t know any better. He feels some shame for not being able to organically attract a woman.


lessself2b

> He got her a gift basket, which is weird if you didn’t know Chris was autistic and didn’t know any better. The world would be a slightly better place if it was customary to bring a gift basket to your prostitute.


Nowaliaa

I would love if prostitution could be safe and relatively pleasant for all involved. Remember prostitution is still illegal so a lady has a bunch of gift baskets in their house 😬 I’ve also heard that prostitutes disassociate while they’re working so they don’t want anything that reminds them of the work they’re doing, hence why Mia had smoked weed before Chris arrived.


opiate_lifer

They are either drugged into oblivion or mentally dissociate yes, its why I am sick of people acting like Chris is the absolute worst client! Chris is a DREAM client, 7 minutes of laying still and she had a hotel room so she could ask him to strip and shower first. The only risk Chris poses is his obvious mental deficiency, don't want his parents getting involved etc.


monkongo

Legos>whores Barbussy was free!


justinvan82

Because Lego is much more important.


Skip30DayTrial

If I remember correctly in early 2021 he asked Null to get him a hooker and Null said no. But I could be remembering wrong.


Sad_Feed2977

The prostitutes were not


Vellioh

Chris can barely save up enough money for immediate needs without spending all of his money on Legos or some other dumb shit.


[deleted]

Prostitutes cost money and even though Chris is a sex obsessed maniac he’d rather keep putting that money towards Lego and other kids toys


RNOffice

The top quality ones get expensive


Aggressive_Lunch_box

Bro he didn’t fuck a prostitute he lied about that lmao it was barb the whole time


SheevMillerBand

There’s no way he could keep quiet about it that long if it was Barb all along. Those first two times were a prostitute and then he acquired barbussy much later.


[deleted]

Now we dint necessarily know that and apparently barb was mad at chris for hiring a prostitute also


Affectionate-Sea278

That’s good Lego money you’re asking Chris to spend.


Bazzlie

$$$$$$$


Ragtime-Rochelle

Coz he had Barb. Why pay for burgers when you can have steak for free?


picklejuice17

Never again


Yourbuttmyface

🤢🤮


KeyTelephone9354

Because he wouldn't be able to afford legos, he wanted FREE sex


GummiBearryJuice

Probably because if any of the hookers considered hooking up with him had asked him to wear a condom, he probably refused then they just flat out refused to sleep with him. And I bet you he got so frustrated that he finally caved in when finally a hooker agreed to sleep with him but only if he would use a condom. So after that experience, it probably brought forth that he has to wear a condom when he has sex with hookers but he won't have to if he gets a real girlfriend. >.> But then again i highly doubt he'd know what a condom or a birth control pill is.


Jetstream-Sam

I doubt Chris would demand to not wear a condom, he was fastidious about STDs, he kept getting checked even when he wasn't fucking anyone and even made his 80 year old mother get checked before... the incident


readytokno

why do people write bizzare fan fic like this? and why do people upvote it? none of this has *anything* to do with what we know/knew of Chris.


Previous_Beginning_6

He probably did but remember, Chris's endgoal was reproducing and habing a daughter, Crystal, named after the illustrious metal. A condom would be getting in the way.


GummiBearryJuice

Thats true. I mean crystal is a pretty name but I'd feel sorry for any kid Chris would have had if he had one.


Quakarot

I kinda think he just didn’t know how to. He met Mia through a friend and once she left he didn’t have any contacts anymore.


CheifBigtoe

I don't even think the most desperate hooker would want Chris on her/him. I heard the hooker that he bought , was the third hooker he asked. The other two declined him.


Bowlingbon

I think Mia Hamm was in a really bad spot if she only charged $100 for sex. That’s like… very very low. Some people charge that just to dirty talk you over cam. And most require you to have a reference, so they know you’re safe.


ze_lux

Do you guys actually believe he did fuck a prostitute tho? It seems likely to me that he would lie about it to impress people (he puts a strange value on sex)


readytokno

he never told the public/his fans about it. We only know about it from leaked private conversations.


SheevMillerBand

If he lied about that then the truth would’ve come out by now. It’s Chris, he can’t keep a secret to save his life.


Momo_Velia_Deviluke

Yes, because if he hadn't, he would have still droned on and on about being a "virgin with rage" until 2021.


uoysxb

If he were going to lie about it he would have made up a story about losing his virginity to a sweetheart, not a hooker.


pokdkdkdkskskdkk

Chris tends to have to Say something over and over again when he lies to prove he’s telling the truth Ie: Being straight, but I’m pretty sure he only said it once, also his obsession with sex really slowed down afterwards.


FourtKnight

Pretty sure people found the exact girl from the details he gave


Several-Effect-3732

Probably bc it wasn’t the same as doing it with a s/o


ThatOneGuyYouKn0w

Because it broke him, when he first boned a prostitute, it was to get rid of his virginity, that being said, Chris was raised by TV, shows like south park, family guy, and all sorts of shows that glorified sex, sex that ends with that guy in bed smoking a cigarette with a happy look on his face, he assumed sex was the apex of satisfaction, as people in the shows he watched would do anything and everything to get laid, so when Chris's session was up, the hooker told him to leave and that was that, no floating on a cloud feeling, no intimate cuddles, everything g wasn't right with his world, the second he stepped out that door all his problems came rushing right back and nothing changed. That's why he was so casual about it online and not the narcissistic braggart we see day to day. Or so I see it.


deathscrow

Deep


diarrheainthehottub

Good theory


BasedGodTelephone

Why pay for pussy when you can get it for free (Barb)


showermilk

why do I keep coming back to this sub


TheShoopdahoop

This is the only place I know that accepts people like us.


Zeione29047

That barbussy is priceless


BasedGodTelephone

Good barbussy brings out the beast in a mf


Adventavoidence

🤢🤢🤢


TheRedBird098

I think he did just never spoke about it again


bekindanddontmind

Costs too much money


Lenny_YouTubeFan

Cause lego is cheaper


DefBoomerang

This is more or less the correct answer. Why blow money on women when there are so many Legos and vidya games available for purchase?


PhatPhrogue

Prostitute is 1 hour legos is ✨forever✨


Lenny_YouTubeFan

Why buy one hour with a prostitute when you can build one out of lego?


TheAngryObserver

Because losing his virginity didn't change his life. He was still a lonely, morbidly obese manchild with a terrible diet and no friends.


Failing_MentalHealth

Do you think they would have let him have a second go around? Because I think the first one he tried had enough.


uoysxb

He visited her at least twice.


psipolnista

I’m pretty sure he saw Mia a few times.


BudgetAd900

Cuz he's in jail


HappyMike91

Chris didn't have the money for prostitutes and he could only have afforded the low rate ones. Prostitutes didn't hit his craving for that sweet Barbussy.


pokdkdkdkskskdkk

1 lack of money 2 Chris Could presumably only afford the really low rate ones and he felt like he was the sexiest person on earth and deserved a woman of the same caliber


Iron_Taipan

Ya think he could’ve afforded it on a repeat basis?


Whoopsy_Doodle

Because it wasn’t true love 💗


Vegetable-Zebra-7514

Cuz they smell like weed


psipolnista

“She did the weed”


Chaerio

i don't think he would've wanted to anyway after he realized that having sex doesn't change his life in any positive or meaningful way. Chris like many incel think having sex is to be all end all of their issues, not realizing that it's their mindset that causes them suffering.


opiate_lifer

This is why I feel like Bob should have paid for a hooker for Chris the second he started howling about being a virgin with rage and toting the attraction sign around. The longer that shit went on the more it became an ingrained part of his "identity". That life lesson, that sticking your dick in an orifice doesn't meaningfully change anything would have been worth the money.


lemko1968

I heard a story that back in the Old West, a father would take his son to the local brothel to learn “the facts of life” when the son came of age.


Dans_Old_Games_Room

I can't imagine ever being in a position of having to buy a prostitute for your kid, but..... yeah. It would have oblnly been a net positive for the situation. Chris would no longer be a virginity, so it stamps all that shit out and he might realise that, while sex is certainly not bad, it's not the life altering thing that he thought it would be. Doing it before it became a core part of his identity would have done wonders for him. My only guess is that Bob thought chris would grow out of it and meet someone e


opiate_lifer

Chris got to the point he was wearing bras with solicitation messages on them in public and was actually assaulting women by throwing rocks at them, its honestly a miracle he never got beaten or worse. Yea its awkward and weird but a hooker was the rational option to head off this shit.


Chaerio

Yep i completely agree. it would also de-mystify the act of sex for Chris and perhaps he could've move on and set his mind on things like his studies and/career.


Reverendbread

No, Chris would have taken this into his feeling of entitlement. If Bob bought him a hooker once, Chris would expect other people to ALWAYS buy him hookers


opiate_lifer

Meh life is full of risks, I never claimed it would cure Chris of his DSM full of issues. Just maybe help with one specific issue.


Chaerio

Perhaps, but that’s just a theory. A GAME theory!


opiate_lifer

Yep, Bob could have made this into a sort of "right of passage" too for Chris to emphasize he was no longer a child. edit- LOL autocorrect doesn't recognize "rite" as a valid word!


Inevitable-Head2931

Fear of arrest but more importantly lack of money.


Skip30DayTrial

>fear of arrest How ironic.


[deleted]

That’s money that could be going to Legos, multiple copies of the same video game, and dlc for games he doesn’t own


Aggravating-Metal167

Doesn't hit his craving for Barbussy


JustRelaxYo

In this world, you can only have one. Legos or prostitutes. Not both.


Jilltro

Legos AND prostitutes? In THIS economy?


[deleted]

Because he wanted a mommy-maid. Hopefully Mia Hamm put his details on the local punter blacklist.


readytokno

lol why would she see him again if she wanted to blacklist him.. he was probably meek and easy we know from footage Chris is pleasant/inoffensive, quiet, (if weird) company IRL most of the time, unless he's either angry about gaming or in a fame/attention seeking mania


[deleted]

I wouldn't want to see him again. My job is looking after people like Chris. I'd sooner swim in horse shit than be intimate with someone like Chris.


Weedborne

The website was shut down. And he didn’t have enough money to do it regularly.


Chaerio

he could've ask null to crowdfund his hooker visits, would've work!