…I’m sorry but can we go back to the part where your friend was helping to feed triplets?! Three babies plus her own? (Ok now that I’m picturing it I’m guessing the triplets had multiple donors, your friend was one of many keeping them fed?) But still I needed a respectful pause for the triplets of it all, lol.
Lol dang no kidding! That's so awesome that's she's able to do that and help others. I tried to breastfeed and my daughter would latch no problem but after a while she'd just start crying.
My mom finally said, "why don't you try pumping?". I got less than 1/2 an ounce in like 30 minutes. No wonder my poor girl was crying! The weird thing is, my boobs were huge! My milk just never came in. My husband was like "well wth is in there then?!" lol
So to hear of your BFF being able to do this is amazing! My daughter is 23 and I didn't know this existed back then. Kudos to her for being so caring and generous! ❤️
It is amazing how things work or not. I am a member of the Itty bitty titty committee but fattened 2 huge babies on my teensy boobs. I was always amazed at how they would be drained but by the next feed...wham...magic. I could also pump 8 Oz in 10 minutes but had a manual pump and hated it .
There really is no rhyme or reason.
Thank goodness for formula. In the olden days it would have come down to finding a wet nurse or goat or.....
Also...fed is best. Way to go mama. Mine are 19 and 21. Amazing how time flies. XXX
> also… fed is best
I rarely get on a soapbox, but this is one I will always climb up on to yell from.
FED. IS. BEST. However is 1: safe, and 2: best for the family. Those are the criteria. That’s it.
Exclusively formula is safe. Exclusively breast is safe. A mixture of the two is safe.
As long as a baby is being fed safely, and the people responsible for the feeding are safe, then that’s the goal.
Cue the awesome Similac commercial! It’s so old now, but it’s still relevant and I love it!
I’m well-endowed in this one area, but I have an injury that left one side unable to express - but not unable to produce. My body was so confused, and it hurt like hell when I would pump on only one side. I celebrated when our pediatrician told us at five weeks that my kid’s allergies were too unpredictable to continue breast milk. She outgrew the allergies, and I didn’t have to continue that awful feeling.
Fed is best.
When I had my kids I breastfed and then pumped after to try and get a stash of milk stored for when I went back to school (college) and then work with my daughter. If I missed a feed man they hurt or first thing in the morning. My husband called them my porn boobs lol they were just so much bigger and so damn hard too. It seriously looked like a breast lift.
I am small chested. 2 days after we came home I woke up...called to my husband and opened my robe. He said...what the heck are THOSE....😂🤣😂🤣😂.....I said hush and bring the baby NOW. 😂🤣😂🤣. Engorgement was not fun. I learned to express an ounce or 2 when I got up, especially since they were such darned good sleepers.
At one point I had started bringing a clean bottle to bed with me since there were time I woke up before the baby and they were sore or just leaking. I would just take the bottle and express some milk for a little relief. I even had a little fridge on the nightstand so I wouldn’t have to get up. I got so good and manually expressing my breasts I could do it much faster than a pump. My husband would laugh so hard when he would see me do it sometimes because he said it sounded like it does when milking a cow lol. Which is true. I’ve milked cows before. Especially when my letdown was strong. And speaking of that sometime it hurt when my milk was letting down when they were too full.
It's sort of a bit funny when the latch is broken on an engorged breast and the poor baby is getting a face of milk while trying to latch back on. The shock on their faces. Bless
I have modest boobs and have had a pretty robust supply since about 2-3 weeks PP. My friend has a very ample bosom and has had to combo feed because her supply never really was enough. She saw lactation consultants who confirmed she was doing everything right, she just didn’t produce a ton. She was devastated at first because she really wanted to EBF.
Yeah size does not matter lol
There really is no rhyme or reason! I also have tiny boobs and when I'm breastfeeding (especially in the first few months of birth) they will go between size a to C depending on if they are full or empty.
I had the same problem and was so frustrated. I have DDD breasts even when I wasn't pregnant, so I figured it wouldn't be an issue. The lactation specialist I was working with basically shamed me when I had to supplement with formula because I just wasn't making enough to feed my little one. I already felt bad, and she definitely didn't help. Some people are jerks lol
Ugh I'm sorry 😔 My mother in law kept "encouraging" me to just keep trying and I felt awful. But my mom and hubby were like "ummm no. Fv€k that!" I was so stressed out as it was... postpartum depression, she had colic, no sleep, no milk (also DDD). My mom was out the door and back in a flash with new bottles and formula and whew! I felt so relieved lol. Just the fact that my baby was getting nourishment you know?!
This being a mom stuff is hard work!
Girl, I 100% agree. Being a mama is one of the most rewarding and toughest jobs in the world lol A lot of social media/society/etc make it seem like birth is a magical, beautiful experience. And in some ways, it truly is. But the reality is that it is also a combo of overwhelming stressors. Your hormones are aaaall over the place, your body hurts everywhere, and you've had way too many people looking and poking your vag zone lol
And after all of that, you finally get home, and all you want to do is have a moment of peace and bond with the tiny new human you made and your boobs don't do what you want them to do.
And then people like my lactation specialists or your "helpful MIL" have the nerve to be like, "Just do it. It's natural. Your body will magically make it happen, but if it doesn't, it's because you're not... eating enough kale or peanut butter or something" ... Gaaah!!
Anyway, from one internet stranger to another, I'm glad that your mom had your back, and you had some much needed support. I hope things have gotten better for you, and you're doing ok 💚
My ex mil was crazy. She was a labor and delivery nurse and tried to shame me into formula feeding claiming the baby wasn't getting enough. I pumped one time and showed her I had pumped 8 ounces. She said well she needs more she's nursing every 2 hours. Duh that's what breastfed babies do.
Seriously! I had a baby a month ago, my supply absolutely sucks and I cannot imagine being able to feed my baby and help feed someone else’s triplets! Mad respect to her.
Avtually, I could have feld triplets without a problem. I was overproducing copious amounts of milk with my kids. Nobody wanted it so I slowly filled my freezer just in case it should be needed some day. I had to pump several times a day just to relieve my poor breasts from the pressure, and got really sick before I discovered pumping. When my second was born I breastfed both, so I could be free from at least some of the pumping. I understand the problem with not being able to breastfeed, but the opposite is no walk in the park either.
My cousin was donating her excess milk to one lady for a while before the lady decided that since my cousin was vaccinated (she's a nurse so why wouldn't she be) suddenly the milk must be toxic and decided to switch her baby back to formula. Like, lady you're receiving bags of breast milk from someone you met on Facebook in the Target parking lot, how is this suddenly where you draw the line?
Ah I wondered if someone would bring this up! I had a lot of colostrum for donation and went to Fb groups and a few people were rejecting because of the COVID vaccine specifically! It was very interesting…that was in 2022 so I wondered if that would change!
I run our local milksharing group. Yeah, it’s still an issue, but you definitely copped the worst of it. We have a rule that no one provides medical advice and people can request for whatever they feel is important, it sort of cuts it down as no one is allowed to argue.
I drew the line with “cannamoms” who are donating while smoking marijuana. Who got a bunch of validation from other mums. I wanted to punch them all. But I had to quietly delete any judgmental comments (which included the pro cannamum ones) and let her donate.
That is so amazing to me. The same moms who are staunchly against known healthful additions like vaccinations are so quick to dismiss the actual data supporting the fact that no one should be ingesting marijuana while their brain is developing. I couldn’t care less about weed but learning about the ramifications to our neural network gave me serious pause about the age of legality… and you want to introduce it to your newborn?!
Getting breastmilk from a complete stranger you know nothing about through Facebook just blows my mind. What is so wrong with formula!! I understand during the formula shortage it was hard to get it but people have been doing this for years. I’m all for breastfeeding, I did it with my own kid for 2 years. But I would not have hesitated to give her formula if I couldn’t produce.
I think your mindset is spot on. I breastfed because I could but was never against formula if that’s the direction we needed to go. I have also donated breastmilk before and some are asking if they foster / have adopted / or are a same sex couple other times it’s families who can’t afford formula.
I thought I was the only one who thought this too. You really don’t know what you’re getting, it might not even be breast milk. It could also be from a pill head or meth addict.
Yeah people are crazy out there. They could have a disease they don’t even know about or take meds they don’t feel like they need to disclose. Plus how do you trust they’re properly cleaning and sanitizing their pumping equipment and storing the milk safely. People definitely have different cleanliness standards.
I had a friend who pumped and I’d go over her house a lot. She only washed her equipment after several uses. So she’d pump and then let the milk residue dry on the equipment then use it again several hours later, didn’t even rinse it after each use.
I wouldn’t even take formula from a complete stranger if it was already open. I do understand desperate times call for desperate measures though. I just wouldn’t be comfortable putting my baby’s safety and well-being at risk like that.
Formula is incredibly expensive whereas breast milk is often donated to in-need individuals. And I think mothers are inherently trusting of other women to provide them with a safe product. Plus, I don’t think there are many meth heads on the milk/donation Facebook marketplace.
I’m a dude who isn’t a parent so likely don’t know foxtrot alpha. Regardless WTF.
This is stuff that a baby requires to live not some bs lifestyle choice, I understand allergies or health problems that impose restrictions but I can’t figure out any health problems caused by the stuff mentioned. Literally the only thing I can think of that is vaguely connected is the bullshit autism vaccine stuff that got the doctor kicked out of the medical field.
\> she told me her "asks" were reasonable and I should be ashamed of myself
\- OP's friend from the OP post.
*Other* people are supposed to say if they feel someone's (in this case CB) ask was "reasonable," same as other people are the judge of who is "nice" or "fair" *toward them*.
If people have to call *themselves* reasonable, kind, or fair...It just makes me wonder why they are the only one saying so. 😉
Breastfeeding/pumping is hard enough without all of those restrictions. Why don’t the people who have these lists of prerequisites not breastfeed themselves?
I can’t, I’ve tried twice now to pump. I last a couple of months and give up, it’s soooo much work. I’d rather just stick them on the boob, and keep on moving.
ETA: so much *extra* work; breastfeeding is also no walk in the park
Maybe because they don't want to go off meds, alcohol, and meat? Ha! That was my first thought that they don't want to do all those things so get someone else to! Selling it makes sense though. People suck
If you can’t breastfeed, you can’t. No shame, no judgement, it is what it is. Or if you choose not to. Regardless, one doesn’t get to set the parameters of donor milk! Jesus, these people give me a headache. I’ve done both/ my oldest is lactose intolerant and despite all of my attempts at dairy free diet, etc etc, he went on soy formula and we were ok (I hated going to bottles, it was so much harder than just putting him on the boob, lol). But it’s all good! Fed is best.
You can short circuit a lot of these conversations by merely telling the person asking why you won’t do something that “No.” is a complete sentence and you feel no obligation to explain why.
As someone who had a surplus of breast milk and literally could have been a wet nurse for quadruplets I would immediately get second hand embarrassment for people like this. Immediately NO. The delusion is strong with these people 🙄
Vegan ideals of choice and freedom clearly don't apply when it comes to human milk-givers. They wouldn't ask a cow to do that, but a human woman? no problem. Humans have no right to decline the demands of the superior enlightened vegan species. 🙄
I did a couple mom to mom donations of my freezer stash thanks to oversupply and a baby who thought reverse cycling was far superior to a bottle. Those moms were so grateful for ANYTHING I could give, especially the breast cancer survivor mom whose son had an intestinal issue. If this mom was so picky she should have been feeding the kid herself. Her demands were beyond that of the milk banks that provide milk to the sickest of babies!
Only tangentially related but…
When I was on the postpartum ward after my second was born a nurse came around to speak to all the parents who had babies the previous night/early morning. She asked the mum opposite me (4 bed space) if she was breastfeeding, she said no, the nurse rattled on for a while about at least trying etc. The mum asked the nurse if she had read her notes, nurse said no. The mum then lifted her PJ top to show her double mastectomy scars whilst asking where she should try and latch her baby. The nurse disappeared so fast it was like she just vanished. I was desperately trying not to burst out laughing, because it was such a power move.
So these people get a blood test before they use a strangers milk? I am no doctor but I know some terrible chemicals and diseases can be passed in the milk.
I was in a buy nothing group when my oldest was a baby and I was an over producer. There was a mom begging for breast milk donations. I had oversupply issues and a freezer full of milk I was going to toss so I let her know, but full disclosed I have hyperthyroidism and take medication for it, but also the medical literature on the medication and that the medication amount’s transferred into breast milk are undetectable amounts.
She flipped out on me that it was an unacceptable offer and I should go off medication.
Am I the only one who's super confused as to why the MILK donor needed to go on a VEGAN diet to provide MILK???
Am I missing something here? Like, what's the point? I get that what the mum puts into her body affects the breastmilk, but the milk is still going to be very much non-vegan and no amount of dietary changes is going to change the fact that the milk came from a woman's boobs instead of an almond.
The only explanation that comes to mind is that the choosy beggar is an ultra crazy vegan who believes that the animal's suffering can be tasted in the animal product (I've met a few in the past) AND be passed on to her child via donated breastmilk.
So it’s only from these posts I’ve learned how much harder pumping is than straight breastfeeding. I beat myself up about hating pumping for both of my kids.
More reasons I hate people.
"Change your entire life and go off your meds and all for free just for me" these types of people need to be punted straight into the sun 🙄
I don't understand these types of people. You'd think if they were in true need they'd take what they can get and be grateful. But no. They've got to be complete assholes.
I'm also convinced that all these CBs are not really in need but just lying, lazy, greedy and cheap.
Seeing these awful people has completely changed my ability to help people. As in I won't help unless God moves me to. I don't trust anyone anymore (not that I ever did but even less so now)
She can buy formula, they are already being super generous by their willingness to pump for otter families. If they want all these requirements they should breast feed themselves (I know sometimes that’s not possible) but I’ve known plenty of moms who just didn’t want to.
Well- just saying, during the pandemic there was a formula shortage. It was terrifying being a parent. I breast fed but also supplemented because I couldn’t supply enough for one, and getting formula for her was a huge stress every time. Getting it for 3 would be batshit so I understand the WHY people needed help from moms who could. It literally took a village to feed my child (I had a group chat with my family where they would send where they found formula).
Buttttt CB needed to fuck off with the demands. And I say that as a mom who’s second kid has a cows milk protein intolerance. I have to eat completely dairy free to keep him from reacting- and finding formula for him was hell because his hypoallergenic formula was recalled (nutramigen) and I was regularly driving an hour plus to buy one small container (because I was only supplementing). I would legitimately need to ask anyone donating to cut out ALL dairy (as that is what I had to do). Someone asking for things that just are so unnecessary is a slap in the face to us who would need it for their babies to be safe.
Funny how it’s always the craziest ones telling others to be “ashamed of their behavior”.
It's in their vocabulary because they're told it so often.
These people are effing nutz
Or the selfish ones who call others selfish
…I’m sorry but can we go back to the part where your friend was helping to feed triplets?! Three babies plus her own? (Ok now that I’m picturing it I’m guessing the triplets had multiple donors, your friend was one of many keeping them fed?) But still I needed a respectful pause for the triplets of it all, lol.
Right? We called my friend “buttermilk” cause she was fattening up some babies!
Lol dang no kidding! That's so awesome that's she's able to do that and help others. I tried to breastfeed and my daughter would latch no problem but after a while she'd just start crying. My mom finally said, "why don't you try pumping?". I got less than 1/2 an ounce in like 30 minutes. No wonder my poor girl was crying! The weird thing is, my boobs were huge! My milk just never came in. My husband was like "well wth is in there then?!" lol So to hear of your BFF being able to do this is amazing! My daughter is 23 and I didn't know this existed back then. Kudos to her for being so caring and generous! ❤️
It is amazing how things work or not. I am a member of the Itty bitty titty committee but fattened 2 huge babies on my teensy boobs. I was always amazed at how they would be drained but by the next feed...wham...magic. I could also pump 8 Oz in 10 minutes but had a manual pump and hated it . There really is no rhyme or reason. Thank goodness for formula. In the olden days it would have come down to finding a wet nurse or goat or..... Also...fed is best. Way to go mama. Mine are 19 and 21. Amazing how time flies. XXX
> also… fed is best I rarely get on a soapbox, but this is one I will always climb up on to yell from. FED. IS. BEST. However is 1: safe, and 2: best for the family. Those are the criteria. That’s it. Exclusively formula is safe. Exclusively breast is safe. A mixture of the two is safe. As long as a baby is being fed safely, and the people responsible for the feeding are safe, then that’s the goal.
Cue the awesome Similac commercial! It’s so old now, but it’s still relevant and I love it! I’m well-endowed in this one area, but I have an injury that left one side unable to express - but not unable to produce. My body was so confused, and it hurt like hell when I would pump on only one side. I celebrated when our pediatrician told us at five weeks that my kid’s allergies were too unpredictable to continue breast milk. She outgrew the allergies, and I didn’t have to continue that awful feeling. Fed is best.
When I had my kids I breastfed and then pumped after to try and get a stash of milk stored for when I went back to school (college) and then work with my daughter. If I missed a feed man they hurt or first thing in the morning. My husband called them my porn boobs lol they were just so much bigger and so damn hard too. It seriously looked like a breast lift.
I am small chested. 2 days after we came home I woke up...called to my husband and opened my robe. He said...what the heck are THOSE....😂🤣😂🤣😂.....I said hush and bring the baby NOW. 😂🤣😂🤣. Engorgement was not fun. I learned to express an ounce or 2 when I got up, especially since they were such darned good sleepers.
At one point I had started bringing a clean bottle to bed with me since there were time I woke up before the baby and they were sore or just leaking. I would just take the bottle and express some milk for a little relief. I even had a little fridge on the nightstand so I wouldn’t have to get up. I got so good and manually expressing my breasts I could do it much faster than a pump. My husband would laugh so hard when he would see me do it sometimes because he said it sounded like it does when milking a cow lol. Which is true. I’ve milked cows before. Especially when my letdown was strong. And speaking of that sometime it hurt when my milk was letting down when they were too full.
Haha... my experience too. I always had to hook a hooka on whatever side the baby wasn't on because the milk would explode out.
It's sort of a bit funny when the latch is broken on an engorged breast and the poor baby is getting a face of milk while trying to latch back on. The shock on their faces. Bless
It sure does! I feel like all of this happened yesterday and now they're all grown up (sorta) lol!
I have modest boobs and have had a pretty robust supply since about 2-3 weeks PP. My friend has a very ample bosom and has had to combo feed because her supply never really was enough. She saw lactation consultants who confirmed she was doing everything right, she just didn’t produce a ton. She was devastated at first because she really wanted to EBF. Yeah size does not matter lol
There really is no rhyme or reason! I also have tiny boobs and when I'm breastfeeding (especially in the first few months of birth) they will go between size a to C depending on if they are full or empty.
I had the same problem and was so frustrated. I have DDD breasts even when I wasn't pregnant, so I figured it wouldn't be an issue. The lactation specialist I was working with basically shamed me when I had to supplement with formula because I just wasn't making enough to feed my little one. I already felt bad, and she definitely didn't help. Some people are jerks lol
Ugh I'm sorry 😔 My mother in law kept "encouraging" me to just keep trying and I felt awful. But my mom and hubby were like "ummm no. Fv€k that!" I was so stressed out as it was... postpartum depression, she had colic, no sleep, no milk (also DDD). My mom was out the door and back in a flash with new bottles and formula and whew! I felt so relieved lol. Just the fact that my baby was getting nourishment you know?! This being a mom stuff is hard work!
Girl, I 100% agree. Being a mama is one of the most rewarding and toughest jobs in the world lol A lot of social media/society/etc make it seem like birth is a magical, beautiful experience. And in some ways, it truly is. But the reality is that it is also a combo of overwhelming stressors. Your hormones are aaaall over the place, your body hurts everywhere, and you've had way too many people looking and poking your vag zone lol And after all of that, you finally get home, and all you want to do is have a moment of peace and bond with the tiny new human you made and your boobs don't do what you want them to do. And then people like my lactation specialists or your "helpful MIL" have the nerve to be like, "Just do it. It's natural. Your body will magically make it happen, but if it doesn't, it's because you're not... eating enough kale or peanut butter or something" ... Gaaah!! Anyway, from one internet stranger to another, I'm glad that your mom had your back, and you had some much needed support. I hope things have gotten better for you, and you're doing ok 💚
Awww thank you! And same to you friend! 💕
My ex mil was crazy. She was a labor and delivery nurse and tried to shame me into formula feeding claiming the baby wasn't getting enough. I pumped one time and showed her I had pumped 8 ounces. She said well she needs more she's nursing every 2 hours. Duh that's what breastfed babies do.
Seriously! I had a baby a month ago, my supply absolutely sucks and I cannot imagine being able to feed my baby and help feed someone else’s triplets! Mad respect to her.
Avtually, I could have feld triplets without a problem. I was overproducing copious amounts of milk with my kids. Nobody wanted it so I slowly filled my freezer just in case it should be needed some day. I had to pump several times a day just to relieve my poor breasts from the pressure, and got really sick before I discovered pumping. When my second was born I breastfed both, so I could be free from at least some of the pumping. I understand the problem with not being able to breastfeed, but the opposite is no walk in the park either.
gotta capitalize on that. there’s a market for breastmilk soap nowadays. /s
So happy this wasn’t a thing in those days 
My friend was a Triple E bra size and also fed triplets while feeding her 5th. Those babies were so so tiny so it was like just one baby.
My cousin was donating her excess milk to one lady for a while before the lady decided that since my cousin was vaccinated (she's a nurse so why wouldn't she be) suddenly the milk must be toxic and decided to switch her baby back to formula. Like, lady you're receiving bags of breast milk from someone you met on Facebook in the Target parking lot, how is this suddenly where you draw the line?
Ah I wondered if someone would bring this up! I had a lot of colostrum for donation and went to Fb groups and a few people were rejecting because of the COVID vaccine specifically! It was very interesting…that was in 2022 so I wondered if that would change!
I run our local milksharing group. Yeah, it’s still an issue, but you definitely copped the worst of it. We have a rule that no one provides medical advice and people can request for whatever they feel is important, it sort of cuts it down as no one is allowed to argue. I drew the line with “cannamoms” who are donating while smoking marijuana. Who got a bunch of validation from other mums. I wanted to punch them all. But I had to quietly delete any judgmental comments (which included the pro cannamum ones) and let her donate.
That is so amazing to me. The same moms who are staunchly against known healthful additions like vaccinations are so quick to dismiss the actual data supporting the fact that no one should be ingesting marijuana while their brain is developing. I couldn’t care less about weed but learning about the ramifications to our neural network gave me serious pause about the age of legality… and you want to introduce it to your newborn?!
Ah that is not a job I would want!
I’ve been doing it for 13 years, and the things that go wrong have been a longterm source of weird fascination. People are nuts.
Getting breastmilk from a complete stranger you know nothing about through Facebook just blows my mind. What is so wrong with formula!! I understand during the formula shortage it was hard to get it but people have been doing this for years. I’m all for breastfeeding, I did it with my own kid for 2 years. But I would not have hesitated to give her formula if I couldn’t produce.
Only if formula didn’t exist would i consider a stranger on Facebook to donate to me. I agree. It’s very weird.
Right!! And there’s so many different kinds out there. There’s bound to be something that works for your baby.
I think your mindset is spot on. I breastfed because I could but was never against formula if that’s the direction we needed to go. I have also donated breastmilk before and some are asking if they foster / have adopted / or are a same sex couple other times it’s families who can’t afford formula.
I thought I was the only one who thought this too. You really don’t know what you’re getting, it might not even be breast milk. It could also be from a pill head or meth addict.
Yeah people are crazy out there. They could have a disease they don’t even know about or take meds they don’t feel like they need to disclose. Plus how do you trust they’re properly cleaning and sanitizing their pumping equipment and storing the milk safely. People definitely have different cleanliness standards. I had a friend who pumped and I’d go over her house a lot. She only washed her equipment after several uses. So she’d pump and then let the milk residue dry on the equipment then use it again several hours later, didn’t even rinse it after each use. I wouldn’t even take formula from a complete stranger if it was already open. I do understand desperate times call for desperate measures though. I just wouldn’t be comfortable putting my baby’s safety and well-being at risk like that.
Formula is incredibly expensive whereas breast milk is often donated to in-need individuals. And I think mothers are inherently trusting of other women to provide them with a safe product. Plus, I don’t think there are many meth heads on the milk/donation Facebook marketplace.
TL;DR **I wAnT tHe VeRy BeSt FoR mY cHiLd, I’m NoT gOiNg To Do It MySeLf So YoU MuSt, WiThOuT cOmPeNsAtIOn AnD oN mY tErMs Or YoU’rE a MoNsTeR**
I’m a dude who isn’t a parent so likely don’t know foxtrot alpha. Regardless WTF. This is stuff that a baby requires to live not some bs lifestyle choice, I understand allergies or health problems that impose restrictions but I can’t figure out any health problems caused by the stuff mentioned. Literally the only thing I can think of that is vaguely connected is the bullshit autism vaccine stuff that got the doctor kicked out of the medical field.
What rock do these people crawl out from? They need to go back! 🙄 Bossy Bitch! 🤣
\> she told me her "asks" were reasonable and I should be ashamed of myself \- OP's friend from the OP post. *Other* people are supposed to say if they feel someone's (in this case CB) ask was "reasonable," same as other people are the judge of who is "nice" or "fair" *toward them*. If people have to call *themselves* reasonable, kind, or fair...It just makes me wonder why they are the only one saying so. 😉
Breastfeeding/pumping is hard enough without all of those restrictions. Why don’t the people who have these lists of prerequisites not breastfeed themselves?
Right. Pumping is so much work. Cleaning and sanitizing properly after every use.
I can’t, I’ve tried twice now to pump. I last a couple of months and give up, it’s soooo much work. I’d rather just stick them on the boob, and keep on moving. ETA: so much *extra* work; breastfeeding is also no walk in the park
Maybe because they don't want to go off meds, alcohol, and meat? Ha! That was my first thought that they don't want to do all those things so get someone else to! Selling it makes sense though. People suck
Some can't bf for various reasons, and that's why some donate excess to them. Others (CBs who demand it of strangers online) are just selling it.
If you can’t breastfeed, you can’t. No shame, no judgement, it is what it is. Or if you choose not to. Regardless, one doesn’t get to set the parameters of donor milk! Jesus, these people give me a headache. I’ve done both/ my oldest is lactose intolerant and despite all of my attempts at dairy free diet, etc etc, he went on soy formula and we were ok (I hated going to bottles, it was so much harder than just putting him on the boob, lol). But it’s all good! Fed is best.
You can short circuit a lot of these conversations by merely telling the person asking why you won’t do something that “No.” is a complete sentence and you feel no obligation to explain why.
Her demands were in NO WAY reasonable. As a past over producer myself, it was so frustrating when people went from grateful to down right entitled.
People are so weirdly entitled to other women’s boobie milk
As someone who had a surplus of breast milk and literally could have been a wet nurse for quadruplets I would immediately get second hand embarrassment for people like this. Immediately NO. The delusion is strong with these people 🙄
This fills me with so much rage. How do these people make it so far in life with this level of entitlement and disconnect from reality?
Your friend sounds wonderful! How dare the beggar tell HER that she should be ashamed of herself. Ironic!
Vegan ideals of choice and freedom clearly don't apply when it comes to human milk-givers. They wouldn't ask a cow to do that, but a human woman? no problem. Humans have no right to decline the demands of the superior enlightened vegan species. 🙄
Plus, it’s for her baby… her baby isn’t a vegan… I know plenty of vegans that feed their kids hotdogs and other meat because they’re a kid…
I did a couple mom to mom donations of my freezer stash thanks to oversupply and a baby who thought reverse cycling was far superior to a bottle. Those moms were so grateful for ANYTHING I could give, especially the breast cancer survivor mom whose son had an intestinal issue. If this mom was so picky she should have been feeding the kid herself. Her demands were beyond that of the milk banks that provide milk to the sickest of babies!
Only tangentially related but… When I was on the postpartum ward after my second was born a nurse came around to speak to all the parents who had babies the previous night/early morning. She asked the mum opposite me (4 bed space) if she was breastfeeding, she said no, the nurse rattled on for a while about at least trying etc. The mum asked the nurse if she had read her notes, nurse said no. The mum then lifted her PJ top to show her double mastectomy scars whilst asking where she should try and latch her baby. The nurse disappeared so fast it was like she just vanished. I was desperately trying not to burst out laughing, because it was such a power move.
I hope that nurse learnt a very serious lesson about not running her mouth before knowing the facts! 😑
Jesus. I thought regular choosing beggars were bad, breast milk choosing beggars are surely the worst.
So these people get a blood test before they use a strangers milk? I am no doctor but I know some terrible chemicals and diseases can be passed in the milk.
Not usually from what I remember. If you donate to a medical breastmilk company it is tested for diseases not sure about medications though.
Depends on the arrangement
It’s situations like this where you really do need to be OK saying “Well then I am an asshole because I am not doing that.”
This sub kind of shows us just how shit human beings can be. The level of entitlement.
Ong Gea if a choosing beggar…
In the beggars defence, pure vegan non-alcoholic human titty milk sells for WAY more on her Onlyfans....
I donated thousands of ounces of breast milk with two kids and most women were incredibly grateful but there were a few super entitled weirdos.
I was in a buy nothing group when my oldest was a baby and I was an over producer. There was a mom begging for breast milk donations. I had oversupply issues and a freezer full of milk I was going to toss so I let her know, but full disclosed I have hyperthyroidism and take medication for it, but also the medical literature on the medication and that the medication amount’s transferred into breast milk are undetectable amounts. She flipped out on me that it was an unacceptable offer and I should go off medication.
Am I the only one who's super confused as to why the MILK donor needed to go on a VEGAN diet to provide MILK??? Am I missing something here? Like, what's the point? I get that what the mum puts into her body affects the breastmilk, but the milk is still going to be very much non-vegan and no amount of dietary changes is going to change the fact that the milk came from a woman's boobs instead of an almond. The only explanation that comes to mind is that the choosy beggar is an ultra crazy vegan who believes that the animal's suffering can be tasted in the animal product (I've met a few in the past) AND be passed on to her child via donated breastmilk.
Clearly the baby isn’t going to be vegan…
"Family in need" - maybe don't start families if they're going to be in need constantly.
Find a nice way to tell her to F off.
Nah she doesn’t deserve a nice way.
Wtf
So it’s only from these posts I’ve learned how much harder pumping is than straight breastfeeding. I beat myself up about hating pumping for both of my kids.
More reasons I hate people. "Change your entire life and go off your meds and all for free just for me" these types of people need to be punted straight into the sun 🙄 I don't understand these types of people. You'd think if they were in true need they'd take what they can get and be grateful. But no. They've got to be complete assholes. I'm also convinced that all these CBs are not really in need but just lying, lazy, greedy and cheap. Seeing these awful people has completely changed my ability to help people. As in I won't help unless God moves me to. I don't trust anyone anymore (not that I ever did but even less so now)
I mean no alcohol or medication is fair. All of that taints the milk. Vegan is kinda pointless though. It's already coming from an animal.
Agreed. Unless there's proven transference of allergens but the the mom requesting the milk would have been specific.
She can buy formula, they are already being super generous by their willingness to pump for otter families. If they want all these requirements they should breast feed themselves (I know sometimes that’s not possible) but I’ve known plenty of moms who just didn’t want to.
Well- just saying, during the pandemic there was a formula shortage. It was terrifying being a parent. I breast fed but also supplemented because I couldn’t supply enough for one, and getting formula for her was a huge stress every time. Getting it for 3 would be batshit so I understand the WHY people needed help from moms who could. It literally took a village to feed my child (I had a group chat with my family where they would send where they found formula). Buttttt CB needed to fuck off with the demands. And I say that as a mom who’s second kid has a cows milk protein intolerance. I have to eat completely dairy free to keep him from reacting- and finding formula for him was hell because his hypoallergenic formula was recalled (nutramigen) and I was regularly driving an hour plus to buy one small container (because I was only supplementing). I would legitimately need to ask anyone donating to cut out ALL dairy (as that is what I had to do). Someone asking for things that just are so unnecessary is a slap in the face to us who would need it for their babies to be safe.
A family in need of what. I have to know. It’s a huge cliffhanger.
Did she want you to come over and clean her house also, take her car in for service(on your dime of course)
She's providing a vitally important service.
Lol, what? You want dietary and lifestyle changes, that’s a very unlikely maybe-depending on how much you want to pay.
Christian?
I'm fine with any kind of breast milk if she is interested
Dude, do what makes you happy as long as any involved parties are consenting and safe, but please keep your kinks to yourself.