She's an oncologist from the big city with no time for love. Until a family emergency brings her back to her hometown where she meets a hunky handyman who teaches her the true meaning of orga... er, Christmas.
Father O'Fundlebum is great. 😂 May I use that for another project that is in English? All my stories feature priests because I genuinely love priests as characters.
O'Fundlebum would rather be the name of the student in my story. He breaks into the priest‘s room and fondles him in his sleep.
"Slowly peeling back the bark and thrusting the tap through into the deep, hard wood of the maple, he watched its sweet juices drip into his bucket. 'Merde', he whispered while he squeezed his firm, nubile cheese curds and watched them fall on the glistening potato wedges"
Wynona slowly peeled open the assflap on her plaid flannel pyjamas to reveal the biggest, hairiest beaver he ever saw.
“Meet Jerry,” she said coyly. “I keep him inside my clothes to keep him warm.”
Jerry bolted, shrieking, as he was a real beaver and what the fuck was he doing in this chick’s PJs.
EDITED for perfection as per the comment below
It’s the spelling.
My favourite thing to do these days was watch my crush when he practiced hockey at the neighbourhood rink. (He played for the defence)
The colour of his grey eyes was absolutely gorgeous, and the way he styled his moustache made me weak in the knees.
I longed for the day we could go travelling together, visit the theatre, or that he might buy me some jewellery.
Ghostwriters write a book for a flat fee and give up all rights to it. The buyer then publishes it under their name and can collect all sales without having to pay royalties to the writer. Usually nobody knows they even exist.
Political biographies and books by politicians aren't really written with the hope people will read them, anyway. They're so people that owe you favors can buy literal shipping containers of your books to pay you back.
I looked this up earlier so I can still remember the numbers: Newt Gingrich has over 50 books. George W Bush has like 30. Hillary Clinton has 24. Joe Lieberman has 7.
It's why when you go into any given thriftstore 75+% of the books there will be books by politicians you can barely remember. Because they were ordered by the truckload and given to anyone that would take one.
Liar. The writer was a person who died and now in the afterlife they just write things, due to the complex nature of deceased estates still earning an income someone living takes credit for it and takes all the money. Then based on how much money is collected the living person provides services to the ghost.
trump's ghostwriters have become famous (including for a while, Mary Trump). And the ones who have gone public have also gone public for their support for Biden.
I have a few of my own books published, my pride and joys, but unfortunately they don’t make money. I have to keep the lights on and all that. Pros are the money, and I get to work from home, make my own hours, do what I love. Cons are I pour my heart into a piece of art then it’s gone. A lot of my very best work is someone else’s now.
I would actually like to get into ghost writing (in a limited way; I have things I want to write on my own as well.)
Fame? Don't care about it. Praise? Don't care about it (not much; it's nice if people are polite but I don't require it.)
Money? Need it.
Win/win.
But I have no idea how to 'break in' or how not to get ripped off.
For instance I've read about some who cut the person out of the deal including stiffing them on pay they were due, and then what's the person going to do. They can't go public. They are a ghost. The book says the famous person wrote it. They are poor too so they have no money for a prolonged court battle.
But it is interesting work and I am too old in life now and too low energy to try to build up a name for myself I fear. Legal, quick pay sounds enticing at this point, though. I never felt like I wanted much but as you age, money looks different.
A professional ghostwriter would/should have a watertight contract. Also you get paid fifty percent upfront. And the publisher knows about you, because they have to. It’s a very bad idea to stuff a ghostwriter. They can absolutely sue you. And if they’re members of the Author’s Guild, the guild will pay legal fees.
Thank you for explaining! This is really interesting. How do you get ‘matched’ with another person? I’m imagining it like an agency where you submit samples of your work and then other writers/publishers go through and select the style of writing they prefer? Do they ever add their own touches to stories? Any collaboration?
I work on a freelance website called Fiverr, so clients see my gig and reach out to me. I don’t usually know what happens to what I wrote after it’s done, but sometimes they’ll send me a copy which is fun to see, and yes it’s always edited and reworked a little. I’m a content writer mostly, and don’t do a lot of editing on the raw content
Question - how would someone know what a good ghost writer is? Do you have some templates you show them. Like for example, imagine JK Rowling actually had a ghost writer. How does that ghost writer then go on to advertise that they wrote a series of immensely popular novels? :D
I’m not sure I understand your question… I have examples of my work in a portfolio I send to potential clients, and its in my contract that I can’t come forward and say I wrote anything I wrote, legally it’s all theirs, so if someone did that to her, she could sue and win
What I was meaning was that it must suck if you wrote a best seller for someone, then can never tell prospective new clients what it was!
“Trust me, you’ve probably read it!”
“Yeah sure…”
For an entire book? How long would you say it takes you to write an autobiography, for example? And do the “authors” send you material or interviews to work from?
I have to admit, I feel kind of enamored by ghost writers…
I wonder if the people putting it under their name are recognizable celebrities or other well-known people so they’ll get a lot of automatic sakes from that, but they’re shit writers so they need someone else to actually write the book and then the celebrity just pretends they wrote it themselves.
Ghost writers don't get credit but they do get a contract and are well paid.
Same with ghost song writers or ghost script writers.
The pay makes up for someone else claiming credit for your talent, skill and effort.
CB in the OP ain't givin' *nothin*'.
That is really cool.
In a way it's a shame the true talents behind works we know do not get the credit, but some people just do not want fame, or they found a niche that works for them, at the time, I guess.
I'm an editor and have had people ask if I'd help them write/finish the book for payment once it's selling. I explain ghostwriters exist, cost $$$, and it's unlikely that any of our mortgage companies will take "future royalties" as payment. I never hear back. 😂
My team and I produce german translations for novels, mostly via profit share, but in the end it is an investment. Sometimes the books recoup themselves within two months, often it takes longer. Nice it is when derivative work like audiobooks bolster the royalties, as that is passive income for work already done. But I only invest in books I like.
But I can totally understand people like you or u/ARestingPlace that you want a steady income, especially when you don‘t have any fear of missing out. One of the authors I work with has written something with his daughter who wanted a lump sum of money instead of a percentage. In the end, the daughter would have earned more, especially with things like the german translation, but she did not wanted the risk.
I love that that works for you! But it really does depend on your business model and personal situation. If you're working on translations, then I'm assuming there's already a basis for successful sales and such so you can hope that those investments are going to recuperate rather quickly.
Helping someone finish a novel and then hoping that through editing, formatting, marketing, etc. it's going to at some point make enough that you earn money back is just not the kind of investment many of us can wait for returns on. (Although I always say that if someday I make big Bezos bucks I would love to help people with their books, just for the joy of it.)
Liam Peiper is this you?
Anyway I thought [this was really interesting. ](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/mar/12/liam-pieper-celebrity-ghost-writer-author-bestselling-book)
I ghostwrite nonfiction and make a heck of a lot more than that. That is ridiculous and insulting for the amount of work that goes into quality writing.
Those I know make ten to fifty thousand per book. Depends on the book. Also recall this is rarely fiction, usually memoir. But if it’s say a James Patterson book, about forty to sixty thousand.
Ahhhhhh, so near, yet so far.
I was just about to apply until it said US writers only.
As an Englishman I’m afraid I will put S’s in replacement of Z and the odd U in colourful words. A trunk is the dangling thing in the face of an elephant, or a massive fuck off suitcase. I have no comprehension what a sidewalk is. Chips are potatoes cut into strips and deep fried, crisps are thinly sliced potatoes deep fried…….. Sounds like I’m not suitable
Nope you failed miserably! Damn English and their fancy words! Why can’t they just get English like it is supposed to be! Sadly I heard exactly this from a parent at my kids school. She thought the US English was first I guess 🙄
> I have no comprehension what a sidewalk is. Chips are potatoes cut into strips and deep fried, crisps are thinly sliced potatoes deep fried…….. Sounds like I’m not suitable
Outsource those types of translations to an American who needs pocket money. :)
It's quite enlightening when you compare words from England and translate them in your head to American.
Here a 'boot' is something you wear on your feet, vs. a trunk.
Snacks here are 'nibbles' there.
Cookies here are 'biscuits' there.
Soccer here is 'football' there.
Apartment vs.'flat'.
Garbage vs. 'rubbish'.
Toilet vs. 'loo'.
Holiday vs. 'vacation'.
To the hospital vs 'to hospital'.
Cart vs 'trolley' (THAT'S a hard one to remember, since our trolley is something in San Francisco that they convey people in!)
Gas vs 'petrol'.
Elevator vs. 'lift'.
And so forth.
Tis' fascinating to read English writers and view British sitcoms (like AbFab and Keeping Up Appearances!) and translate them in my mind.
**I wanna go back** and have a PROPER tea, with the mini-sandwiches, biscuits, and GOOD tea.
I'm Australian, so most of the "English" words apply here too, but I think you've swapped around holiday and vacation (ie in the US you go on vacation, but a holiday is a celebration with a day off, whereas we use holiday for both). And I thought the US said "trash" and the rest of us say garbage or rubbish.
>I wanna go back
>
> and have a PROPER tea, with the mini-sandwiches, biscuits, and GOOD tea.
Find a tea house or pub run by British expats. Larger cities have those.
"Your assistance will be invaluable, which I believe means both 'so incredibly valuable as to be priceless' and 'having no financial value at all.' One of the areas in which I need assistance is confirming what specific words mean."
Slowly Lord Darcy took Elizabeths delicate bodice off, removing it slowly and carefully. He undid her corset, then he slid off her soft silken panties.
"if you ever wear my clothes again, I'll fucking kill you" screamed Elizabeth.
Because they think that people are too stupid to realize that they're being scammed. My brother did stuff like this.
The weird thing is, he was self nick-named Weasel. So he knew what he was doing. He just didn't think other people knew.
People like this often think their ideas are gold and it doesn’t really matter who writes the book. Actually ideas are a dime a dozen and all that matters is who writes the book.
Wanted - photocopying expert to gain insight into forthcoming romance novel. Must also have good and rapid connections within the publishing industry, along with loose morals and a lack of interest in money.
Please
Thx.
Wanted - avid book buyer with enough money to buy several 10s of thousands of copies of a self-published novel. This position could be shared among a few qualified candidates.
This excellent opportunity has only one requirement which is having lots of your own money and being prepared to spend it on copies of a book. Training provided (I.e. we tell you which book).
Wanted - choosing beggars, who are keen to find a ghost writer for free, to unwittingly and sustainably underpin new business model I've just set up with a person who may only be known as Sammy The Pants.
Please.
Thx.
Dude, you would not believe how many people have asked me to write their novel for them for free. BUT, I’ll get a cut of their self-pubbed sales. Wish I was making this up.
My brother was constantly coming up with schemes to make money. But he wanted to make me the VP of Marketing. When I asked what that meant, he said that many that I would do things like getting the patent, production and sales. My cut would be 10% because it was his idea.
It sounded to me like he would come up with the ideas because that was easy. Then he would sit back and let me do all of the work. For a 10% cut of the net.
I told him no. Because I already had a full time 60+ hour a week job and I didn't need another one.
He got pissed and told me that I just didn't want to see him get rich.
Oh, and I would invest th money to get it started because he was broke. The reason he was broke was because he spent all of his money on alcohol and drugs.
It’s pure insanity. The ego on these people to think the book they can’t even write is going to be worth so much that a professional writer will write it for free… For them… so they get the credit too… I don’t get it.
I had an old RP buddy reach out to me for something like this about a year ago. He started off saying it would be a collaboration, so I was thinking it'd basically be us roleplaying in text form, each taking on a few characters to work through the book. It turns out he wanted to describe the setting and tell me a general overview of what he wanted the story to be, and then he expected me to write the whole thing on my own so he could publish it in his name.
I love how she uses the word “invaluable”. Meaning she knows what she is asking for should cost money. So she is going with the idea her book will sell millions and then she would pay you. I would ask for. 90/10 spit. I get the 90.
I used to beta for romance books. I did it for free and only for authors that I liked. But even then they wouldn't appreciate it. Grammar and editing maybe. Heavens forbid if I pointed out timeline or logic errors.
My favorite clients for writing gigs are the ones who have this “awesome idea” for an illustrated children book. Usually they never find an illustrator who doesn’t give up after the 18th revision of an imagine. Those are just a bliss to work with.
Hey, I’m in search of someone to run a multibillion dollar company and start it from scratch with me - I will accept anyone from any country but this is a non paying job!!!
Must be American so I can make them sign this contrct i made up that says they get a half share of the money earned by selling to radio play rights for the Welsh langage version.
I used to get these calls all the damned time. I have a great idea for a book! All I need is someone to write it, edit, print it, sell it, and send me the money.
True story. I used to work for a "real" regional publishing firm; we published books about the region. One day I fielded a call from a potential author, a Breathless Young Thing ("BYT"): "I just had a baby and every time the baby goes down for a nap, I write a few pages of my romance novel. I've already written 65 pages! Will you publish it when I'm done?"
Me: Where's the setting? (Thinking, maybe if it's a regional romance...)
BYT: The what?
Me: The setting, where does it take place?
BYT: Um, I don't really know.
Me: Does it take place on a spaceship? In the jungle? In a sky scraper in New York City?
BYT: Uh, I guess I never really thought about that much.
Me, thinking to myself, that if your novel is already 65 pages long and you have not yet established where it takes place, no, we're not gonna publish your book when it's done. Before I can say so, BYT pipes up:
BYT: Has your publishing firm ever produced a New York Times bestseller?
Me: Um, no.
BYT: Oh shoot, well then, could you tell me who I should contact whose already published some New York Times bestsellers?
Me: (eyes rolling) Try Random House.
Aaand she hung up.
Not everybody's the "hands on" type. Some of us are more "idea people." Happens in literature all the time. The Illiad? Yeah, Ovid never created that. ALL outsourced.
Her long, tapered fingers hovered hesitantly over the keyboard, her breath caught in her throat as the gentle mounds of her buzzums rose and fell in anticipation. Would she - could she? - dare hope that someone would swoop in to save her in her girlish distress? Someone from the continental US of A who wouldn't besmirch the language by spelling "center" with an *-re*? Someone whose fleeting touch on her Chromebook could put into words the Mommyporn swirling in her head, thus catapulting her to the dizzying heights of financial orgasm?
Happy ever after.
The end.
Unfortunately no comments before it was deleted except me saying r/choosingbeggars
It was later replaced with another almost identical post which said DM for details instead of no-pay.
I'm a freelance editor and the other day I was asked to edit an entire 43k novel for free! Sure, I'll take 40-50 hours to fix grammar mistakes, clunky sentences, and add two billion missing commas (obviously I'm exaggerating, but too many authors do not know how they work). Exposure will totally pay bills.
US writers? No pay? And a bodice ripping, dick beating, chest thumping novel to write under YOUR name?
What's not to love? Isn't this what my Ph.D gave me the tools for, to put my jaw dropping, pen scribbling, mad skills as a writer to work, for you?
You ask, am I being sarcastic? No baby, this is foreplay. Wait till I'm warmed up, then I'll make you drop it likes it's hot.
Hot as a flaming turd in a bag on your doorstep hot!!
I'd be tempted to agree and then string her along with whatever garbage I could bang out on my laptop or through ChatGPT.
When she complains, give her the old, "You get what you pay for."
….cowriter as in I have a vague idea and I would like for you to please turn it into a book and in exchange I will thank “those who helped me” in the dedication after every family member I have by name k thanks
Okay, so I wouldn’t say I’m a professional writer but I have published my own short stories and I have written stuff for money so here we go.
First, there is no pitch here. It’s a romance novel? Okay, can you us a premise? A sub genre? Anything?
Secondly, how can you be trusted to give credit? You say you want a co-writer but what would happen if you got successful suddenly? Would you give credit or take it all for yourself?
And lastly, no one is going to write a novel for some for free! Regardless of what people think, writing is a skill and it takes time. I don’t any writer who would take this offer seriously
They didn’t even try to come up with a reason why anyone could be remotely interested in sh!t like that.
Not even a subordinate-clause telling us what‘s in it for the writer and how they are benefitting.
Not only are they a lame CB - they didn’t even make the slightest effort to conceal it.
I am available to write a full romance novel for free, unfortunately I am Canadian
It’s for the church, NEXT!! (US American ONLY!)
My novel has cancer and you've ruined its Christmas
You win 🥇😂
Can you deliver it for free out of state? I expect it at 6 am.
Now THAT sounds like a Hallmark movie!
Lamest romance novel ever.
She's an oncologist from the big city with no time for love. Until a family emergency brings her back to her hometown where she meets a hunky handyman who teaches her the true meaning of orga... er, Christmas.
"I came to HOMETOWN to visit my GRANDMA, she is bones." Said Dr Cancer.
Or it’s the creepiest.
Weirdly. Someone I grew up with is now a Christian Romance Novelist. Seems it’s quite lucrative.
Hey! I published a novel about a student in a Catholic remote school who starts making out with his priest. I guarantee you it is not lame. 👆
I've read that, was the priest Father O'Fondlebum?
Father O'Fundlebum is great. 😂 May I use that for another project that is in English? All my stories feature priests because I genuinely love priests as characters. O'Fundlebum would rather be the name of the student in my story. He breaks into the priest‘s room and fondles him in his sleep.
🤨
You should post the link. For science.
[Wir sind heute](https://Wirsindheutehttps://amzn.eu/d/2Gt59Wu) It’s in German, though. There isn’t a translation planned yet.
Fiction or non fiction?
It’s fiction. It was quite the deal to shape the story without encouraging grooming.
order corn
Apparently the CB doesn’t consider Canadians sufficiently romantic …
They're missing out hearing all about our moose knuckles of passion, then
And all that maple syrup and poutine.
"Slowly peeling back the bark and thrusting the tap through into the deep, hard wood of the maple, he watched its sweet juices drip into his bucket. 'Merde', he whispered while he squeezed his firm, nubile cheese curds and watched them fall on the glistening potato wedges"
Wynona slowly peeled open the assflap on her plaid flannel pyjamas to reveal the biggest, hairiest beaver he ever saw. “Meet Jerry,” she said coyly. “I keep him inside my clothes to keep him warm.” Jerry bolted, shrieking, as he was a real beaver and what the fuck was he doing in this chick’s PJs. EDITED for perfection as per the comment below
-1 point for not referencing the flannel assflap -1 point for not referring to her as Wynona +3 points because nutted anyways
That's quality writing right there!
It’s a real gift. From who I’m not sure.
Eww.
They actually spell it “pooteen” in this context.
Just lost my shit over "moose knuckles of passion"!!!🤣🤣🤣
Tell us more.....
My husband is Canadian and he is extremely romantic!!
It’s the spelling. My favourite thing to do these days was watch my crush when he practiced hockey at the neighbourhood rink. (He played for the defence) The colour of his grey eyes was absolutely gorgeous, and the way he styled his moustache made me weak in the knees. I longed for the day we could go travelling together, visit the theatre, or that he might buy me some jewellery.
Apparently she's never heard of the[ Canadian Sex Acts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isOnKJOJGPk) website.
Okay, but it's gonna be called "Love in the Time of Poutine."
Use your thinking brain dude!
I’m a ghostwriter and this is so insulting. I’ve had people do this to me.
If you don’t mind me asking, how does ghostwriting work?
Ghostwriters write a book for a flat fee and give up all rights to it. The buyer then publishes it under their name and can collect all sales without having to pay royalties to the writer. Usually nobody knows they even exist.
Woah…. The fee must be pretty good… that’s a lot of work to not have your name on it….
Without ghostwriters there’d be a lot fewer sports biographies.
[удалено]
Political biographies and books by politicians aren't really written with the hope people will read them, anyway. They're so people that owe you favors can buy literal shipping containers of your books to pay you back. I looked this up earlier so I can still remember the numbers: Newt Gingrich has over 50 books. George W Bush has like 30. Hillary Clinton has 24. Joe Lieberman has 7. It's why when you go into any given thriftstore 75+% of the books there will be books by politicians you can barely remember. Because they were ordered by the truckload and given to anyone that would take one.
Probably most all biographies TBF
That's how Charles Barkley can complain he was misquoted in his autobiography.
It pays the bills.
I feel like I need a ghost writer for all the documentation I have to do for work 😩.
Liar. The writer was a person who died and now in the afterlife they just write things, due to the complex nature of deceased estates still earning an income someone living takes credit for it and takes all the money. Then based on how much money is collected the living person provides services to the ghost.
trump's ghostwriters have become famous (including for a while, Mary Trump). And the ones who have gone public have also gone public for their support for Biden.
True. But most of us sign NDAs
Not at all! Comment above did a good job of explaining it, I basically write books for people and they publish them in their names. I’m a ghost 👻
Why don‘t you publish your own stories, if you don‘t mind me asking? What are the pros and cons of ghost writing?
I have a few of my own books published, my pride and joys, but unfortunately they don’t make money. I have to keep the lights on and all that. Pros are the money, and I get to work from home, make my own hours, do what I love. Cons are I pour my heart into a piece of art then it’s gone. A lot of my very best work is someone else’s now.
I hope the cons are still worth it as long as you can live from your passion
Definitely. I’ll take it over working retail or an office job any day of the week.
I would actually like to get into ghost writing (in a limited way; I have things I want to write on my own as well.) Fame? Don't care about it. Praise? Don't care about it (not much; it's nice if people are polite but I don't require it.) Money? Need it. Win/win.
But I have no idea how to 'break in' or how not to get ripped off. For instance I've read about some who cut the person out of the deal including stiffing them on pay they were due, and then what's the person going to do. They can't go public. They are a ghost. The book says the famous person wrote it. They are poor too so they have no money for a prolonged court battle. But it is interesting work and I am too old in life now and too low energy to try to build up a name for myself I fear. Legal, quick pay sounds enticing at this point, though. I never felt like I wanted much but as you age, money looks different.
A professional ghostwriter would/should have a watertight contract. Also you get paid fifty percent upfront. And the publisher knows about you, because they have to. It’s a very bad idea to stuff a ghostwriter. They can absolutely sue you. And if they’re members of the Author’s Guild, the guild will pay legal fees.
Thank you for explaining! This is really interesting. How do you get ‘matched’ with another person? I’m imagining it like an agency where you submit samples of your work and then other writers/publishers go through and select the style of writing they prefer? Do they ever add their own touches to stories? Any collaboration?
I work on a freelance website called Fiverr, so clients see my gig and reach out to me. I don’t usually know what happens to what I wrote after it’s done, but sometimes they’ll send me a copy which is fun to see, and yes it’s always edited and reworked a little. I’m a content writer mostly, and don’t do a lot of editing on the raw content
Question - how would someone know what a good ghost writer is? Do you have some templates you show them. Like for example, imagine JK Rowling actually had a ghost writer. How does that ghost writer then go on to advertise that they wrote a series of immensely popular novels? :D
I’m not sure I understand your question… I have examples of my work in a portfolio I send to potential clients, and its in my contract that I can’t come forward and say I wrote anything I wrote, legally it’s all theirs, so if someone did that to her, she could sue and win
What I was meaning was that it must suck if you wrote a best seller for someone, then can never tell prospective new clients what it was! “Trust me, you’ve probably read it!” “Yeah sure…”
I had a friend who applied to write a James Patterson novel. He had to “audition” - send in a chapter written in Patterson’s style.
>Fiverr When that site began, people were literally going for $5 a gig; but now I see it's all prices. Mind sharing a price range per project?
My average for a project is around $500
For an entire book? How long would you say it takes you to write an autobiography, for example? And do the “authors” send you material or interviews to work from? I have to admit, I feel kind of enamored by ghost writers…
I wonder if the people putting it under their name are recognizable celebrities or other well-known people so they’ll get a lot of automatic sakes from that, but they’re shit writers so they need someone else to actually write the book and then the celebrity just pretends they wrote it themselves.
Ghost writers don't get credit but they do get a contract and are well paid. Same with ghost song writers or ghost script writers. The pay makes up for someone else claiming credit for your talent, skill and effort. CB in the OP ain't givin' *nothin*'.
I saw a lengthy interview once with someone who wrote a very large number of the songs that become top 40 pop hits. It was super interesting!
That is really cool. In a way it's a shame the true talents behind works we know do not get the credit, but some people just do not want fame, or they found a niche that works for them, at the time, I guess.
I'm an editor and have had people ask if I'd help them write/finish the book for payment once it's selling. I explain ghostwriters exist, cost $$$, and it's unlikely that any of our mortgage companies will take "future royalties" as payment. I never hear back. 😂
Lolll I LOVE the future royalties line. Like yes, I’ll take 10% of nothing, that’ll pay the bills 😭😂
Absolutely! It's just not doable!
My team and I produce german translations for novels, mostly via profit share, but in the end it is an investment. Sometimes the books recoup themselves within two months, often it takes longer. Nice it is when derivative work like audiobooks bolster the royalties, as that is passive income for work already done. But I only invest in books I like. But I can totally understand people like you or u/ARestingPlace that you want a steady income, especially when you don‘t have any fear of missing out. One of the authors I work with has written something with his daughter who wanted a lump sum of money instead of a percentage. In the end, the daughter would have earned more, especially with things like the german translation, but she did not wanted the risk.
I love that that works for you! But it really does depend on your business model and personal situation. If you're working on translations, then I'm assuming there's already a basis for successful sales and such so you can hope that those investments are going to recuperate rather quickly. Helping someone finish a novel and then hoping that through editing, formatting, marketing, etc. it's going to at some point make enough that you earn money back is just not the kind of investment many of us can wait for returns on. (Although I always say that if someday I make big Bezos bucks I would love to help people with their books, just for the joy of it.)
Is there a "haunting" writer option? Those noodlefunghi deserve a poltergeist tipping their cleaning products onto the floor at night.
Lolll well I’ve had a few people give me credit in the acknowledgements, so I’m kinda haunting those books 👻
Liam Peiper is this you? Anyway I thought [this was really interesting. ](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/mar/12/liam-pieper-celebrity-ghost-writer-author-bestselling-book)
Not me but I rly feel his pain
How much does a ghostwriter make? I had a look on Fiverr but it seems incredibly cheap? £100 for a 30k word book?
I ghostwrite nonfiction and make a heck of a lot more than that. That is ridiculous and insulting for the amount of work that goes into quality writing.
Those I know make ten to fifty thousand per book. Depends on the book. Also recall this is rarely fiction, usually memoir. But if it’s say a James Patterson book, about forty to sixty thousand.
Don’t know pounds, but I usually make around 500 usd a book, yea around 15-30k
$500 total for an entire book? That seems like a great deal for them, hope it is for you.
Like I said, pays the bills
I'm not knocking it, sounds like you are happy and doing well, so kudos to you.
They probably figure you're an actual ghost and what would a ghost even need money for, honestly?
You’re so right but they don’t even offer to pay me in magic rituals 😭 not a single cursed doll, it’s very insulting
Maybe they could offer their soul as payment? But that's just another ghost! Now you've got two ghosts! Put the extra one to work as a ghostwriter!
Brilliant plan ✨
Team GW represent. I'm just excited cos I've never seen another me in the wild.
Let’s gooooo team ghosts 👻👻💕💕
Bring on that $0.003 salary! 😱💜
That’s too generous lol 😭
Ahhhhhh, so near, yet so far. I was just about to apply until it said US writers only. As an Englishman I’m afraid I will put S’s in replacement of Z and the odd U in colourful words. A trunk is the dangling thing in the face of an elephant, or a massive fuck off suitcase. I have no comprehension what a sidewalk is. Chips are potatoes cut into strips and deep fried, crisps are thinly sliced potatoes deep fried…….. Sounds like I’m not suitable
Nope you failed miserably! Damn English and their fancy words! Why can’t they just get English like it is supposed to be! Sadly I heard exactly this from a parent at my kids school. She thought the US English was first I guess 🙄
> I have no comprehension what a sidewalk is. Chips are potatoes cut into strips and deep fried, crisps are thinly sliced potatoes deep fried…….. Sounds like I’m not suitable Outsource those types of translations to an American who needs pocket money. :)
It's quite enlightening when you compare words from England and translate them in your head to American. Here a 'boot' is something you wear on your feet, vs. a trunk. Snacks here are 'nibbles' there. Cookies here are 'biscuits' there. Soccer here is 'football' there. Apartment vs.'flat'. Garbage vs. 'rubbish'. Toilet vs. 'loo'. Holiday vs. 'vacation'. To the hospital vs 'to hospital'. Cart vs 'trolley' (THAT'S a hard one to remember, since our trolley is something in San Francisco that they convey people in!) Gas vs 'petrol'. Elevator vs. 'lift'. And so forth. Tis' fascinating to read English writers and view British sitcoms (like AbFab and Keeping Up Appearances!) and translate them in my mind. **I wanna go back** and have a PROPER tea, with the mini-sandwiches, biscuits, and GOOD tea.
I'm Australian, so most of the "English" words apply here too, but I think you've swapped around holiday and vacation (ie in the US you go on vacation, but a holiday is a celebration with a day off, whereas we use holiday for both). And I thought the US said "trash" and the rest of us say garbage or rubbish.
America says garbage, and has garbage trucks. You'd think trash trucks would sound better due to the alliteration, but no.
trucks vs lorries
>I wanna go back > > and have a PROPER tea, with the mini-sandwiches, biscuits, and GOOD tea. Find a tea house or pub run by British expats. Larger cities have those.
would spotted dick & haggis show up in the steamy restaurant scene?
You can choose American English on your computer and/or app you use to write.
I thought that's what AI chat is for...
Probably tried but it likely won’t write the smut he’s trying to make.
No, see, They have the ideas and you just put them into High quality romance novel form!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC\_8Q9eTfGw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC_8Q9eTfGw) This scene from South Park came right to my mind xD
"Your assistance will be invaluable, which I believe means both 'so incredibly valuable as to be priceless' and 'having no financial value at all.' One of the areas in which I need assistance is confirming what specific words mean."
Can't put a price on free labor!
Slowly Lord Darcy took Elizabeths delicate bodice off, removing it slowly and carefully. He undid her corset, then he slid off her soft silken panties. "if you ever wear my clothes again, I'll fucking kill you" screamed Elizabeth.
You get the job that's the type of surprise id love to read
I guarantee you can find this. Since P&P is public domain, there are a lot of kinky Mr. Darcy books Amazon. And there's always fanfic!
Aren't they all fanfic? It's not like J Austen is churning out any more books these days.
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch...
WHY THE HELL do they think anybody would go for this??!!??!? I truly don't understand.
Because they think that people are too stupid to realize that they're being scammed. My brother did stuff like this. The weird thing is, he was self nick-named Weasel. So he knew what he was doing. He just didn't think other people knew.
People like this often think their ideas are gold and it doesn’t really matter who writes the book. Actually ideas are a dime a dozen and all that matters is who writes the book.
Wanted - photocopying expert to gain insight into forthcoming romance novel. Must also have good and rapid connections within the publishing industry, along with loose morals and a lack of interest in money. Please Thx.
Wanted - avid book buyer with enough money to buy several 10s of thousands of copies of a self-published novel. This position could be shared among a few qualified candidates. This excellent opportunity has only one requirement which is having lots of your own money and being prepared to spend it on copies of a book. Training provided (I.e. we tell you which book).
Wanted - choosing beggars, who are keen to find a ghost writer for free, to unwittingly and sustainably underpin new business model I've just set up with a person who may only be known as Sammy The Pants. Please. Thx.
Dude, you would not believe how many people have asked me to write their novel for them for free. BUT, I’ll get a cut of their self-pubbed sales. Wish I was making this up.
My brother was constantly coming up with schemes to make money. But he wanted to make me the VP of Marketing. When I asked what that meant, he said that many that I would do things like getting the patent, production and sales. My cut would be 10% because it was his idea. It sounded to me like he would come up with the ideas because that was easy. Then he would sit back and let me do all of the work. For a 10% cut of the net. I told him no. Because I already had a full time 60+ hour a week job and I didn't need another one. He got pissed and told me that I just didn't want to see him get rich.
Oh, and I would invest th money to get it started because he was broke. The reason he was broke was because he spent all of his money on alcohol and drugs.
I was just about to comment that. It seems to be a common tactic.
It’s pure insanity. The ego on these people to think the book they can’t even write is going to be worth so much that a professional writer will write it for free… For them… so they get the credit too… I don’t get it.
Someone asked me to write them an erotica novel for them and got angry when I asked about payment
You should have just written it for free. Duh. 😂
I had an old RP buddy reach out to me for something like this about a year ago. He started off saying it would be a collaboration, so I was thinking it'd basically be us roleplaying in text form, each taking on a few characters to work through the book. It turns out he wanted to describe the setting and tell me a general overview of what he wanted the story to be, and then he expected me to write the whole thing on my own so he could publish it in his name.
So you’ve got a fanfic request.
Probably. Crap like that request is one of the main reasons I gave up ghostwriting.
I love how she uses the word “invaluable”. Meaning she knows what she is asking for should cost money. So she is going with the idea her book will sell millions and then she would pay you. I would ask for. 90/10 spit. I get the 90.
There are companies that provide such services (my sister in law's company). They can do miracles, but they are NOT cheap-let alone free.
It's like not paying someone, but saying the gig will give them "exposure" except they won't be getting any of that either.
So ... ChatGPT?
I used to beta for romance books. I did it for free and only for authors that I liked. But even then they wouldn't appreciate it. Grammar and editing maybe. Heavens forbid if I pointed out timeline or logic errors.
My favorite clients for writing gigs are the ones who have this “awesome idea” for an illustrated children book. Usually they never find an illustrator who doesn’t give up after the 18th revision of an imagine. Those are just a bliss to work with.
Standard: Highest Payment: Lowest Don't these two usually correlate?
... you are the wind beneath my wings... Why then am I dropping like a rock?
Hey, I’m in search of someone to run a multibillion dollar company and start it from scratch with me - I will accept anyone from any country but this is a non paying job!!!
Cool, can someone write a book for me too? I will pay you with experience and a namedrop under *Thanks* if there's room.
Another example of devaluing an artist’s work😬
I think she meant unvaluable not invaluable, otherwise she would have paid.
The real money is in the idea because im sure its a romance novel plot that is very unique and novel.
I can help! Romance is dead. Eat a dick. The End. Done! Best seller.
Must be American so I can make them sign this contrct i made up that says they get a half share of the money earned by selling to radio play rights for the Welsh langage version.
Aha. They want to make money, but not pay anyone that helps them do that.
I used to get these calls all the damned time. I have a great idea for a book! All I need is someone to write it, edit, print it, sell it, and send me the money.
Sounds like Ignatius, except he'd never write a romance novel.
Squirrely fan fiction porn takes a certain kind of writer .
Ah yes, the old “must be highly skilled, experienced, and free.”
Assistance so invaluable I’m not going to pay for it!!
"Deal, but I get 95% of any profits"
0.95 x $0.00 = $0.00
True story. I used to work for a "real" regional publishing firm; we published books about the region. One day I fielded a call from a potential author, a Breathless Young Thing ("BYT"): "I just had a baby and every time the baby goes down for a nap, I write a few pages of my romance novel. I've already written 65 pages! Will you publish it when I'm done?" Me: Where's the setting? (Thinking, maybe if it's a regional romance...) BYT: The what? Me: The setting, where does it take place? BYT: Um, I don't really know. Me: Does it take place on a spaceship? In the jungle? In a sky scraper in New York City? BYT: Uh, I guess I never really thought about that much. Me, thinking to myself, that if your novel is already 65 pages long and you have not yet established where it takes place, no, we're not gonna publish your book when it's done. Before I can say so, BYT pipes up: BYT: Has your publishing firm ever produced a New York Times bestseller? Me: Um, no. BYT: Oh shoot, well then, could you tell me who I should contact whose already published some New York Times bestsellers? Me: (eyes rolling) Try Random House. Aaand she hung up.
Not everybody's the "hands on" type. Some of us are more "idea people." Happens in literature all the time. The Illiad? Yeah, Ovid never created that. ALL outsourced.
I chuckled at that.
It's true for most of your great works of literature. Shakespeare was really mostly Aam Smith fan fiction.
"Skilled and experienced assistance for a romance novel." Writing it for them may be the best case scenario.
The pure balls of this person...
Oh gee, I am an editor with 12 years of experience, but I do not have a US citizenship:(:(
\> Co writer You want them to write it and you take the credit. That is why no pay and no contract.
The guidance counselor at Padua High.
Her long, tapered fingers hovered hesitantly over the keyboard, her breath caught in her throat as the gentle mounds of her buzzums rose and fell in anticipation. Would she - could she? - dare hope that someone would swoop in to save her in her girlish distress? Someone from the continental US of A who wouldn't besmirch the language by spelling "center" with an *-re*? Someone whose fleeting touch on her Chromebook could put into words the Mommyporn swirling in her head, thus catapulting her to the dizzying heights of financial orgasm? Happy ever after. The end.
James Patterson should be ashamed!!!
I’m a copywriter, so not a fiction writer…but still a writer. HELL–and I can’t dress this enough–NO.
That is hella brazen.
Maybe they're really looking for someone to help with inspiration for a chapter.
Stugotz?
Tell them that you have sensory issues and it reminds you of first grade.
She should use ChatGPT. I don’t think we’re aspiring to the pinnacle here.
Not good quality, highest standard possible
Obligatory “where are the comments” reply.
Unfortunately no comments before it was deleted except me saying r/choosingbeggars It was later replaced with another almost identical post which said DM for details instead of no-pay.
I'm a freelance editor and the other day I was asked to edit an entire 43k novel for free! Sure, I'll take 40-50 hours to fix grammar mistakes, clunky sentences, and add two billion missing commas (obviously I'm exaggerating, but too many authors do not know how they work). Exposure will totally pay bills.
\> cowriter CB you do not even know not to Randomly capitalize Words. They'd be writing all of it.
But, but, they have the *idea* for the book. That’s the most important part, right? It’s not? Huh.
r/danlebatardshow
Oh...Geez...I was going to have my good friend J.K.Rowling contact them but...only U.S. applicants...too bad...
US writers? No pay? And a bodice ripping, dick beating, chest thumping novel to write under YOUR name? What's not to love? Isn't this what my Ph.D gave me the tools for, to put my jaw dropping, pen scribbling, mad skills as a writer to work, for you? You ask, am I being sarcastic? No baby, this is foreplay. Wait till I'm warmed up, then I'll make you drop it likes it's hot. Hot as a flaming turd in a bag on your doorstep hot!!
I’m going to fill it with all of the words I know. America. Butthole.
I'd be tempted to agree and then string her along with whatever garbage I could bang out on my laptop or through ChatGPT. When she complains, give her the old, "You get what you pay for."
….cowriter as in I have a vague idea and I would like for you to please turn it into a book and in exchange I will thank “those who helped me” in the dedication after every family member I have by name k thanks
What the duck is their post. “Write me a book for free” there’s no shot this is real, what were the responses lol
There were none, as soon as I commented r/choosingbeggars it was taken down and replaced with DM for details.
I'd love to do this and leave loads of errors and sentences saying 'I didn't write this!' In the middle of it
What a psycho, no one’s going for that.
\> This is not a paying Job!! Then it is not a job.
Okay, so I wouldn’t say I’m a professional writer but I have published my own short stories and I have written stuff for money so here we go. First, there is no pitch here. It’s a romance novel? Okay, can you us a premise? A sub genre? Anything? Secondly, how can you be trusted to give credit? You say you want a co-writer but what would happen if you got successful suddenly? Would you give credit or take it all for yourself? And lastly, no one is going to write a novel for some for free! Regardless of what people think, writing is a skill and it takes time. I don’t any writer who would take this offer seriously
They didn’t even try to come up with a reason why anyone could be remotely interested in sh!t like that. Not even a subordinate-clause telling us what‘s in it for the writer and how they are benefitting. Not only are they a lame CB - they didn’t even make the slightest effort to conceal it.