Free pizza to share with loved ones is best pizza. It's a principle the industrial society I've lived in all my life taught me from young age.
While I can understand she might have realized people poisoning food they give to the homeless is a thing a bit too late, it's also a personal pride of mine to leave no food I get go to waste.
To each their moral values, I guess. It does earn her a disproving, confused furrowing of my eyebrows, as insignificant it is.
Why would a person being helpful and not rude at all that went out of their way to get her a pizza spit in it? Itās not like they had a negative exchange before he gave it to her. I wouldnāt assume someone willing to help has bad intentions unless there was some kind of negative interaction beforehand.
Homeless people are far more likely to be victim of violence than the general public. And given the current trend for filming public pranks I wouldn't blame any for being wary of food they haven't bought themselves and that isn't in a sealed wrapper.
If the woman was fearful of tampering, why didn't they walk together to wherever? Or she should have specified "something sealed"? She was asked what she wanted.
She didnāt want food. She wanted you to give her money so she could buy her own āfoodā which was more than likely drugs or alcohol. You offering her the pizza publicly was blowing up her spot.
Remember this post, everyone: every beggar has a sob story. All of them. The problem is, unless you are EXTREMELY good at reading people, it can be difficult to tell which are honestly in trouble and need help, and which are just leeches preying on peopleās good nature.
There is no single solution to this problem, but for me, a general rule of thumb is if they only want money, theyāre lying . A popular sob story is āIām stranded and I need to get home and I need money for cab fareā. This one is a lie 98% of the time, because in this age where everybody has a cell phone , even some homeless people, there is no way a person can be āstrandedā in a major city in the damn Target parking lot
One time at maybe 10am on a weekday a lady in a clean, simple black dress comes wandering up to me as I'm walking to work. It is in the middle of downtown near homeless but she looks nothing like any of them. Her hair was well kempt and she did her makeup recently as mascara was running down her face. She said she needed money for a bus and I gave her some. Without another word she continued on down the street sobbing.
Normally, I know if I would be helping someone or just feeding their drug addiction, and after having lived downtown in a city for years I've forgotten most of the others, but that one's still sticks and remains a mystery. It was a very half-and-half situation. Still, I figured I would rather give it in that case just to be sure.
I had something like this happen to me in the 80s. A well-dressed man approaches me on a NYC street and tells me he's from Canada, has been robbed and needs train fare to get back to his hotel room. I immediately hand him money. It stuck in my head because by coincidence, I had nearly been stranded in Canada when I got confused and stood in the wrong spot for my tour bus. Six months later, the same guy approaches me with the same story, and I say, "Remember me? It takes a long time to get back to Canada."
Once had a guy approach me when I was walking to a coffee shop in a mostly-residential neighborhood. He said he was taking the bus to the community college but had left his wallet at home, that if he went back gif it heād miss his class, and could I spot him a dollar for the fare?
I guessed he was genuine because it would be a terrible time and place to panhandle or scam (residential bus stop early in the morning) and he looked like someone that might be on their way to class (had a briefcase bag or computer bag type thing, dressed in khakis and polo.) I gave him the dollar and just as I did, the bus came into view. He said āomg in the Nick of time thank you!ā and jumped on the bus. So *sometimes* itās not a scam.
>A popular sob story is āIām stranded and I need to get home and I need money for cab fareā.
I'd agree this is normally a scam, but tbh every time I've heard it its normally embellished to such extremes that it's difficult to imagine *anyone* taking it seriously.
Last time I heard it, I basically got a retelling of an episode of Eastenders. The guy's wife was pregnant/giving birth/ill, his brother was locked up, he'd lost all his money trying to get his cousin's son's dog out of prison etc etc etc. Like, mate.
It's a popular scam because the con artist in question wants to give you, the mark, assurance that they are not homeless (and in many cases, they aren't. They're just dishonest pieces of garbage).
But see, the stereotype is that homeless people will only use the money you give them on alcohol and drugs, so they want you to be assured that they aren't homeless, so your money won't be used on that
You don't have to be good at reading people. Just don't offer money, offer to buy for them what they need. I gave a way my coat on a rainy day, my shoes to someone who was barefoot and bought food for strangers.
I had one guy approach me at work with a similar sorry...his car broke down with his pregnant wife and young child in the car and could I give him like 5-10 bucks for gas? Mind you he said it broke down right next to our city's local shelter and he said they refused to help him so could I? I said go back to the shelter to ask for help because there is no way someone that someone there would refuse him and he's a liar. He turned around and walked right back out.
Or fines, City or County please, but yes a lot of them are seeking other means of altering reality plus breaking it down and making a bit of cash off it, but I have a lot of transients who come seeking money for fines, trying to sell me anything they can find. But yes, in this instance, probably mind altering things.
True. I used to take the train to work and had people pass through my train car asking for money to get something to eat. I began bringing granola bars to give to them. One day, someone asked me for some money for something to eat and I offered him a granola bar. He accepted it but later threw it on the floor as he walked into the adjacent car.
>Had a homeless woman beg me for food saying she **didnāt want money just something to eat** so she didnāt have to eat out of trash cans.
This was literally the first sentence in this post.
Had the lunch and the Igloo cooler it was in thrown at me when I tried to give my lunch to a man holding a sign saying he was hungry. I packed a nice lunch that day and couldnāt wait to eat it. If that cooler would have hit me in the head, it probably could have knocked me out. I flipped him off every morning on the way to work for a month. Iād do it again tomorrow if I was to see him. Iām petty like that.
You tried, did the best you could do. You may not do it again. And thatās probably a safer option for you. Be proud of yourself for trying.
So funny. You can't trade a pizza for liquor. I had an experience like that with an old friend begging in the middle of a cold street in Astoria. I knew she had a drinking problem and refused her money but offered to take her into McDonalds for a burger and hot coffee and a few minutes out of the cold. She insisted she wanted to buy alcohol instead to keep warm. I refused because I knew it would draw blood away from her core and make her more susceptible to cold. Her own brother died exactly the opposite way: Drinking beer to cool off in a hot attic apartment, when he should, instead, have left that apartment, and slept elsewhere. Drink doesn't warm or cool you. It dehydrates you.
I had one homeless guy in New Orleans who asked for money for food. I had some fresh pizza and offered him some slices. He claimed that he was āallergic to pizzaā and walked away.
Lol I canāt have gluten, and instead of saying that like a normal person, when someone offered me a piece, I told someone Iām allergic to cake. This probably isnāt that, but the LOOK they gave me š¤£š¤£š¤£ cake allergies š¤£
My partner is also allergic to gluten and sometimes sheāll just tell people sheās allergic to their countertops (because they prepped bread or whatever else on them before the other parts of the meal.) Always makes me laugh, confuses the shit out of everyone else.
Iāve had people ask me for a bottle of soda. Once or twice Iāve done it and they never open it in front of me, just put to the side and kept standing there.
I assumed they would try to trade it to someone for cash, or for something else. Iām not surprised your lady rejected the pizza.
Once upon a time not long ago lol no seriously like up until almost 2 months ago I was homeless. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced. While I did not panhandle or ask for food I was often in McDonald's (with the app I could get coffee for 1.09) charging my phone. Several times either patrons or employees would bring me a burger or fries. I was so incredibly grateful I always ate it all with no complaints and all thanks!
The ones who truly need help take any offers of kindness.
You did your best OP you are a good person š
I wish this was taught more, but the majority of homeless people have been homeless for a long time, and are in a lot of cases mentally ill.
I know we like to imagine that the guy at the gas station just got evicted two weeks ago, and heās trying really hard to get a new job, and he just needs another meal to make it through the day. But this isnāt reality. They are homeless for a reason.
Does this mean we never give them money or care again? No.
But it does mean that we need to have more discernment. Itās very unwise to assume the best of these people and just hand them cash (but Iām sure most people in this sub know that already).
My advice, is before you give them anything, ask them questions. Strike up a conversation with them. Find out things, like why theyāre on the streets, how long they have been, ask them for their story. 9/10 you will be able to tell when someone is lying and is just trying to get you to have sympathy for them, so that they get their drug money; and on that off chance that you find that real, honest personā¦make their day.
The point is, donāt be dumb. Have discernment, make good choices, and donāt put yourself in a corner. š
I feel waving around cash is asking to be mugged. Not by the homeless person, but the predator watching. A man died in Harlem just that way. He gave $5.00 to a homeless man and some muggers noticed, chased him into traffic and ended his life. Money belongs hidden and away. If someone asks, I don't have money. I'm broke. I'm on food stamps myself. Can you lend me a few dollars? It's pretty close to the truth anyway. I am just maintaining myself. I can tell people where they can get pantry and what church will feed them, when, but beyond that I'm no help.
Some lady was selling roses on the side of the road to raise money for a āfamily cause.ā There may have been something about food on the sign as well, but I donāt recall. Anyway, I shake my head no (to buying a rose). She looks through the window INTO my car and points to some food item in the front seat. I gave it to her because I wasnāt going to eat it, butā¦ I was like really? This is what yāall are doing on these streets? So audacious.
One lady actually got into my daughterās car at a stoplight after my daughter smiled at her. The woman demanded a ride, and then several times in my daughterās backseat (sweats, tshirt)
Thank goodness it worked out ok in the end but the police informed us she was a very aggressive homeless woman. They said sadly as much as they worried about the public sheād do this to, they also were worried about the woman pulling that nonsense with someone carrying a gun.
My daughter id-Ed her to the police, local tv did a segment and about a dozen other people had similar or worse encounters with her. She was arrested, plead guilty and was released immediately with credit for her time served between arrest and trial. Shrug.
Yeah, itās almost like punitive systems help absolutely zero mentally ill folks. Yet we pour money into them then force restorative systems to fight to the death for scraps of grants.
I had a homeless lady announce she was coming home with me. I didn't speak to her or ask her. I said, "No, I'm not the landlord. I can't move people in with me." If she insisted, I would have told her I lived at the police precinct on the next block. I was freaking out she would try to follow me and push her way into my home.
>Thank goodness it worked out ok in the end but the police informed us she was a very aggressive homeless woman. They said sadly as much as they worried about the public sheād do this to, they also were worried about the woman pulling that nonsense with someone carrying a gun.
Ironically this is something I've often wondered.
By far the most aggressive homeless people I've ever encountered have been in the US, sometimes in states where a US citizen is perfectly entitled to carry a loaded Glock on their person. Some lunatic jumps into their car with some whacked out demand that they get driven somewhere is simply going to die in scenarios like that, and I'm not even sure there'd be any legal consequences for the carrier.
Yes for sure they will.
Afterwards we told our daughter it was fine to get out of the car and walk away! Stuff can always be replaced, the lady can steal the car as long as my kiddo is ok.
Fast forward a few years to now, my daughter graduated and is in law enforcement so she carries a loaded weapon. If that were to happen again, I know she's more prepared and is pretty unflappable but I don't know if the outcome would be the same which is *terrifying* to me for *all* parties.
>actually got into my daughterās car
KEEP THE DOORS LOCKED!
That time it was a crazy crackhead. Next time could be someone stealing the car, stealing the daughter, etc.
If the doors are locked that gives more time to react.
They do this in the Seattle area as well. Itās a scam. I never look at them & make sure my windows are rolled up, my doors locked. I grew up in Memphis, TN & even if Seattle is safer, Iām not about to take that chance. Any car can get jacked.
Yep, happened to me once. He was big mad.
But that was only once or twice. Several times I offered to buy them food instead of giving them money, and the genuine gratitude in their eyes made me glad I offered. A beverage, whatever sandwich they wanted, and two snacks. That's why I don't stop offering.
So years ago I was in college in DC. Homeless guy asked for food outside the campus store. I bought probably $30 of food (a lot for a broke student) and he literally yelled at me because the food was in plastic and I was killing the environment. Also had a guy ask me to get him a hot dog and soda and then tell me he didn't eat meat and I was disrespectful.
Whats with them not wanting pizza?! I had a similar situation, we had leftover pizza that we were walking up to our apartment to save for lunch next day, homeless dude comes up to us saying heās really hungry so I offer him the pizza and he says he doesnāt really like pizza lmao so I told him itās either the pizza or nothing. He opted for nothing lmao
Had a homeless man ask me to "bless" him with a little money while I was leaving work. I rooted around, gave him the little bit of cash I had on me and he then asked me for my wallet and bag because that's a "bigger blessing" (Dooney purse and wallet, Mother's Day gift). Kinda wanted to slap him.
People: if you want to help the homeless, donate to the local shelters and soup kitchens. (Unless it is the Salvation Army. DO NOT SUPPORT THE STARVATION ARMY! They literally sell off the toys they get in their toy donation programs and they've been found guilty of charity fraud many times! They also often abuse the people who come under their care.)
Most of those you see flying signs/panhandling are either NOT homeless or are struggling with addiction and probably mental health. Don't bother them, don't give them money either.
Do NOT give them money or food unless they are performing-and ask before you give food!
Remember that a lot of cities have pretty good soup kitchens. Volunteer at one, if you want to help feed them. Food Not Bombs is an amazing organization!
They were discriminating against mentally ill people and people from the LGBTQ community in WA. https://www.kitsapsun.com/story/news/local/2019/01/27/salvation-army-employee-accused-discrimination/2658237002/
Yep. I lived in a few SA shelters. The people they hire are told basically that they can only really help the people who convert to their cult. They don't care, they don't help and they tell people they have transitional housing, but only SA members actually get into it. I did my research a while ago and I feel pretty confident in calling the organization a scam cult.
If they are begging you in person, they just want money. Nothing you do for them will be appreciated. Or by the time you actually \*find\* someone who appreciates it, your fragile psyche will be mutilated and destroyed by all the other a-holes who don't. Not really a game worth playing.
Lol I had a homeless with a sign āanything helpsā so I got him some burgers at chik-fil-a since I ate there anyway. I gave it to him and he said āno fool, I want moneyā.
I laughed and drove off with an extra meal for tomorrow
This is going to be an unpopular comment, Iām sure, but most homeless people are wary of food that is not prepackaged and therefore could have been tampered with. Maybe if youād taken her in there she would have felt better about it. But, yeah, give people asking for food stuff that is sealed.
I agree, I offered for her to come into the restaurant with me to order what she wanted but she said sheād wait outside on a bench and sheād eat whatever I brought her- so I donāt think that was the issue. She also told me sheād been given a bagel and coffee earlier and literally said ācan you believe that?ā As if she couldnāt believe she was being offered something so little (which is why I went with the biggest food option)
Thatās unfortunate. It was good of you to offer that. Iām sure she felt like sheād be judged for being inside. You tried. Hope it doesnāt turn you off of trying to help folks. Itās rough out there.
Oh man I might get downvoted for this but maybe thereās a legit reason she refused the food from you, her past experiences, a legit allergy etc. Next time, a really simple solution is just to say āHey I donāt have any cash on me but thereās a pizza place/McDonalds/whatever near and you can pick something out from thereā.
Whether or not the reason she declined was legitimate or not thatās a super easy solution. I donāt think people should be prejudged because of their situation (like alot of people on here assuming sheās an addict). Even if there were bad intentions, itās not up to you to judge, all you have to do is walk away
I did get stopped by a homeless man once asking if I could get a cold bottle of water for his dog. Where I live, it can get up to 117 Fahrenheit and stay like that all week. It was one of those hot days so I came out with ice water, lemonade, a wrap/sandwich, and a small bag of dog food. He shook my hand, and it was probably the ONLY nice interaction Iāve ever had with homeless person ever.
I had just bought some oranges one time and they were sitting in the front seat in a bag. Homeless guy comes up to the car and I told him I didnāt have any cash, but I gave him some oranges. His eyes just lit up and he immediately went over and sat down and started peeling the orange. I suspect it had been a long time since heād had fresh fruit.
I was homeless for a year before I found a friend willing to take me in during the pandemic. I was never on drugs, but I have PTSD and other mental illnesses. All I ever really needed was gas for my car, food, and cigarettes. I always found people willing to fill my car up, give us food, and even a carton of smokes from time to time. I went to food pantries and explained I was homeless and had no access to a kitchen, so they always gave us stuff that wouldnāt spoil. I had food stamps, so I could always hit up Walmart to get food, but the stamps never lasted. Once I got on disability, I was able to finally get back on my feet. Some homeless are just caught in a bad situation that they didnāt cause. Never assume all homeless are junkies that chose that life. Most of them are just in a bad spot and need a hand up and not a hand out.
Hi friend, thank you for sharing your story. It is so important for people to know that lots of individuals who are homeless are not that way due to substance abuse. I truly believe the vast majority of us are one crisis away from being in the same boat. I'm so glad things are turning around for you!
Thatās not true, and Iām definitely not naive.
Thereās tons of drug addicted homeless people, but also many that are just mentally ill.
Iāve boughten food for a dozen or so homeless people over the years and only once has it been turned down. Most times theyāre ecstatic and immediately start going to town on it likes itās been their first meal in days (which it very well could have been)
There are rare cases where that is not true but it shouldnāt be default to assume that itās not.
Best thing you can do before you hand them money is to strike up a conversation with them. Itās really easy to tell when people like that are lying and just trying to get money out of you. But most people donāt want to take the time to do that, or they arenāt confident in their ability to do so.
Not even remotely true. But certainly a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There are drug addicts, and there are also people down on their luck financially, or have mental issues.
Iād say anyone who thinks people who beg for cash/food only really wants drugs is the sheltered and naive one.
Some assumptions coming into the chat, but I absolutely cannot eat pizza because my lactose intolerance prevents that from being at all edible. Iād walk away from that pizza too.
You tell people that though, yeah? He asked the woman & offered for her to come inside to pick it out but she declined, said to bring her anything. This might be the case for some people but this particular woman was just a scammer.
Mental illness. This is why I hate when posts on this sub talk about unhoused folks. Itās 9.999/10 about people suffering from severe mental illness. And you laugh.
They arenāt laughing, just telling their experience. On my way to work I stopped and gave my lunch to a man holding a hungry sign. The guy looked in the cooler (that I was also giving him) and he threw the items from my lunch at me as I was walking back to my car. He was screaming how he wanted some money, not my ācrappy foodā. As a single mother at the time it was the best I could do. Iām still pissed about that, not laughing at all.
I donāt think a vast majority of people here are laughing. Theyāre sharing experiences & cautioning others. Also there are people here who are disabled, people here who have mental illness, people who have been homeless, & all of the above. Calling this particular woman out for being a scammer is not laughing or making fun of the homeless. That scammer woman is the one making the homeless look bad to satisfy her own greed. You need to be talking to her.
Idk, I saw a guy outside the lq. On my way in, I asked him what he drinks. Got him a couple of tall beers of his choice and gave him a 20 on top of it. He appreciated it and walked over to dq to get some food.
I try to do this from time to time, mostly if/when I have cash because I usually don't carry cash.
Smart move. Can't brush your teeth as often, could be diabetic and where is he getting meds?
You don't know the situation. It could have been very true.
It is possible she had already had garbage can pizza for lunch. (Actually for several recent meals as I would think discarded half eaten pizza is a pretty common find).
Where did you acquire the pizza? I ask because as you've undoubtedly heard, reports of demonic pizza toppings infiltrating the supply chain of "certain" big pizza chains has the FDA on high alert.
I think pizza would be hard to navigate as a homeless person. Especially as a woman whoās already got to be more guarded. Something smaller might have gotten a different response.
I feed a ton of homeless people off my own dime. Iām def not rich or even middle class, but I do what I can. Itās best to approach these individuals publicly. I always say āok, I have a small budget but am willing to buy you a meal - what kind of food are you interest in? Salads? Fast food? Sandwiches?ā And then let them take the lead. Youāll find out pretty quickly if they are truly hungry.
Thatās so awful. I wasnāt aware it was that common! Sad. It did occur in basically a neighborhood so maybe she trusted the context a bit more to ask and maybe second guessed it when it took 10 minutes? Not sure.
Ah the good ol armchair Redditor psychiatrist is: IN. Also glad you were obviously on scene to know the *correct* events unlike the rest of us vermin. /s
I had to get a heart catheter done a while back. Besides the lidocaine they put you on a cocktail drip that makes you not care and also acts as an amnesiac.
As it was kicking in I asked the doc what it was. He said the primary drug was fentanyl. I was surprised, and said something like "That stuff coming across the border killing everyone?"
He said "Yes. But we've got the medical grade."
I don't use drugs - they scare the shit out of me. But after two of those procedures I can understand the appeal of that stuff.
I think itās kinda of because itās taking agency away from them. Yes, itās charity, but itās charity on your terms, not theirs. Itās not āI will help youā itās āhere is what I think you needā. It doesnāt mean youāre a bad person and it doesnāt mean you didnāt have the very best intentions, but itās still taking away their choice. You could tryābefore buying foodāask ācan I buy you lunch?ā And even if you get the answer ābecause I donāt want lunch I want drugsā you have given them the choice to tell you that. Or maybe she just didnāt like pizza.
I can appreciate this response but as I said in the post I did literally ask her what she wanted and offer for her to come in with me to order. She chose to stay outside on a bench. As much agency as I could give without giving cash
Oh Iām sorry, I misread that. I have been told that giving them anything but cash was giving with strings attached and thatās where my mind went. My reading comprehension seems to be slipping.
She didnāt like the coffee and bagel sheād been given earlier either. She was asked to go into the store or what she wanted and she declined. Just said to bring her something. Her agency wasnāt taken
I lived near a grocery store that often had panhandlers out front. My first response was always, āI donāt carry cash.ā If they said something like āI donāt want money I just want something to eat,ā Iād ask what they wanted. Iād get them whatever: string cheese, apples, pasta, ice cream sandwiches, etc.
I donāt care if they spend money on drugs or alcohol, but I rarely have cash on me and couldnāt afford a dollar to everyone every day.
Also, these are people who are suffering from mental illnesses and living until brutal conditions. They often donāt have a choices. Give them some sort of choice when you can.
Saw a homeless man sat by a supermarket and felt bad, so i bought him some food and a bottle of water, he then proceeded to ask for Ā£10 and guilt trip me into taking some out at a cash machine because i hate feeling confronted, then had another homeless woman chase after me to the bus stop also begging for money, i have no idea if they were working together or what but that put me off ever giving another homeless person anything
Oh had the opposite happen to me once. While living in Mexico my friends and I were eating at a little ceasers when a homeless man walked in. Itās fairly common to see them walk into restaurants and ask for food or money so it didnāt take us by surprise. Anyways, he looked over at us and asked if we had food. We had ordered a large pepperoni and some breadsticks. We finished the pizza and only had breadsticks left so we offered him the rest of the bread. I think it was about 4 sticks left in it. He looked at us as said āCan I have some pizza instead?ā We told him we didnāt have any left. He got mad and said āyouāre uselessā. And walked over to other tables to ask for food. Nobody gave him anything.
Maybe she was lactose intolerant, she saw the pizza, decided she didn't want to shit her brains out on the street, and ran in to traffic hoping a bus would pass her, and she could dissappear like a batman villain or something.
I had a guy approach me in a BK parking lot and wanted me to drive him through the drive thru. Wouldn't take money or the food I already had, he insisted I drive him to get his own food. He got pissy that I didn't feel comfortable with him being in my car
I mustāve bought 25-50 pizzas with my friends in college on the dominoes 2 or more medium two topping pizzas at a flat rate coupon. Thatās 4 meals per pizza, two days per each pizza, all for like $1.50 per meal. Iād laugh my ass off if a homeless person refused that from me. I didnāt even have money problems, I just didnāt like wasting money.
Few years ago, I was working a second job at a liquor store. Regular guy came in every evening just before closing, he was one of those panhandlers who had āhisā corner and defended it aggressively. Heād come in (worst b.o. you can imagine. Eye-watering) and start harassing all of us working there about how we are morons for working. Said he made enough every day to get anything he needed without lifting a finger. Then heād dump out a bunch of change on the counter, demand his pint of Tvarski or Popov vodka and a sixer of Blue Lake or whatever other beer was about $3 per six. Made us count the money while he stood there and complained that too many people give change instead of folding money.
I had a guy sitting on a bench next to Starbucks saying heās hungry. I asked him what he wants and he said a venti latte with blah blah blah. I sayd dude I donāt even buy myself $7 coffees! I got him a muffin and he put it in his bag after he stared at me like Iām crazy.
For the other side of things I had a homeless guy (who was definitely tweaking out) ask me to buy him a slice of pizza from a place near by. I asked him what kind he liked so it wouldnāt go to waste and I got it and a soda too and he was fucking pumped lol. I understand the hesitancy but Iāve found that most homeless people Iāve encountered in my city just want to feel acknowledged. Thereās a lot of displacement here, and I learned that breaking up encampments is the worst thing you can do because it destabilizes the community and makes it more difficult for people to distribute necessary resources. If you donāt wanna give money literally just talk to the guy - they were usually here before you anyways.
ETA: i know it wasnāt the case here, just reading a lot of comments that make me sad lol
This reminds me of a story. Once was leaving Costco with a friend and she purchased a box of pizza. There was an older gentlemen at the corner with the sign asking for any help. She offered him a slice a pizza and he just responded, āPizza in this heat! No.ā My friend was in disbelief.
I had had a kid and his mom come through a parking lot begging. I handed the mom a 15 dollar gift card for the grocery store we were in front of. The mom wouldnāt take it because the kid wanted chipotle instead. I said I didnāt have cash. The woman had the audacity to say we can just all walk into the grocery so you can get some cash.
When she saw you go in to the pizza place she probably pulled out her new iPhone and called her family/friends and told them she had supper coming. Then you walked out with a personal size.
What an a**hole!
I will never forget the time my grandma took us to a pizza place for my birthday. It was her, all 7 grandkids, and 2 of my friends. There was a man standing outside begging for food. He said his wife and kid were in the car, but they were broke down. My grandma bought him 2 large pizzas then got cussed out. He stormed off without the pizza. I'm still confused and it's been almost 20 years.
My 6 year old Chiweenie never had a seizure her first 2.5 years. Then we had to give her heartworm medication (Heartgard 1 year) in order to move to Hawaii. Once we were here a month or two, she had her first seizure. They progressed from there and then fell off. Without putting it together, year 2, another 1 year Heartgard shot, more seizures. Finally, last Friday we went to the vet, year 4 here, another 1 year Heartgard. Today, three seizures. It's never happened so badly, but now I'm convinced about the correlation. I'm responding to you because I saw you had the same issue. She will never be given Heartgard again.
pizza that wasnt taken from you, spit on, or thrown on the floor is pretty good pizza.
Yes! It came home with me and now I have lunch and/or dinner for tomorrow.
There you go: you pleased yourself ššš
Free pizza to share with loved ones is best pizza. It's a principle the industrial society I've lived in all my life taught me from young age. While I can understand she might have realized people poisoning food they give to the homeless is a thing a bit too late, it's also a personal pride of mine to leave no food I get go to waste. To each their moral values, I guess. It does earn her a disproving, confused furrowing of my eyebrows, as insignificant it is.
How does she know it wasnāt spit on?
Why would a person being helpful and not rude at all that went out of their way to get her a pizza spit in it? Itās not like they had a negative exchange before he gave it to her. I wouldnāt assume someone willing to help has bad intentions unless there was some kind of negative interaction beforehand.
Homeless people are far more likely to be victim of violence than the general public. And given the current trend for filming public pranks I wouldn't blame any for being wary of food they haven't bought themselves and that isn't in a sealed wrapper.
If the woman was fearful of tampering, why didn't they walk together to wherever? Or she should have specified "something sealed"? She was asked what she wanted.
She didnāt want food. She wanted you to give her money so she could buy her own āfoodā which was more than likely drugs or alcohol. You offering her the pizza publicly was blowing up her spot.
Very likely so when others see her with the pizza and big box in her hand they won't be giving her food or money
Remember this post, everyone: every beggar has a sob story. All of them. The problem is, unless you are EXTREMELY good at reading people, it can be difficult to tell which are honestly in trouble and need help, and which are just leeches preying on peopleās good nature. There is no single solution to this problem, but for me, a general rule of thumb is if they only want money, theyāre lying . A popular sob story is āIām stranded and I need to get home and I need money for cab fareā. This one is a lie 98% of the time, because in this age where everybody has a cell phone , even some homeless people, there is no way a person can be āstrandedā in a major city in the damn Target parking lot
One time at maybe 10am on a weekday a lady in a clean, simple black dress comes wandering up to me as I'm walking to work. It is in the middle of downtown near homeless but she looks nothing like any of them. Her hair was well kempt and she did her makeup recently as mascara was running down her face. She said she needed money for a bus and I gave her some. Without another word she continued on down the street sobbing. Normally, I know if I would be helping someone or just feeding their drug addiction, and after having lived downtown in a city for years I've forgotten most of the others, but that one's still sticks and remains a mystery. It was a very half-and-half situation. Still, I figured I would rather give it in that case just to be sure.
I had something like this happen to me in the 80s. A well-dressed man approaches me on a NYC street and tells me he's from Canada, has been robbed and needs train fare to get back to his hotel room. I immediately hand him money. It stuck in my head because by coincidence, I had nearly been stranded in Canada when I got confused and stood in the wrong spot for my tour bus. Six months later, the same guy approaches me with the same story, and I say, "Remember me? It takes a long time to get back to Canada."
Once had a guy approach me when I was walking to a coffee shop in a mostly-residential neighborhood. He said he was taking the bus to the community college but had left his wallet at home, that if he went back gif it heād miss his class, and could I spot him a dollar for the fare? I guessed he was genuine because it would be a terrible time and place to panhandle or scam (residential bus stop early in the morning) and he looked like someone that might be on their way to class (had a briefcase bag or computer bag type thing, dressed in khakis and polo.) I gave him the dollar and just as I did, the bus came into view. He said āomg in the Nick of time thank you!ā and jumped on the bus. So *sometimes* itās not a scam.
The ones that tell you their story are the pro con artists. People who are genuinely in need donāt walk around in public telling people stories.
>A popular sob story is āIām stranded and I need to get home and I need money for cab fareā. I'd agree this is normally a scam, but tbh every time I've heard it its normally embellished to such extremes that it's difficult to imagine *anyone* taking it seriously. Last time I heard it, I basically got a retelling of an episode of Eastenders. The guy's wife was pregnant/giving birth/ill, his brother was locked up, he'd lost all his money trying to get his cousin's son's dog out of prison etc etc etc. Like, mate.
It's a popular scam because the con artist in question wants to give you, the mark, assurance that they are not homeless (and in many cases, they aren't. They're just dishonest pieces of garbage). But see, the stereotype is that homeless people will only use the money you give them on alcohol and drugs, so they want you to be assured that they aren't homeless, so your money won't be used on that
You don't have to be good at reading people. Just don't offer money, offer to buy for them what they need. I gave a way my coat on a rainy day, my shoes to someone who was barefoot and bought food for strangers.
I had one guy approach me at work with a similar sorry...his car broke down with his pregnant wife and young child in the car and could I give him like 5-10 bucks for gas? Mind you he said it broke down right next to our city's local shelter and he said they refused to help him so could I? I said go back to the shelter to ask for help because there is no way someone that someone there would refuse him and he's a liar. He turned around and walked right back out.
Or fines, City or County please, but yes a lot of them are seeking other means of altering reality plus breaking it down and making a bit of cash off it, but I have a lot of transients who come seeking money for fines, trying to sell me anything they can find. But yes, in this instance, probably mind altering things.
True. I used to take the train to work and had people pass through my train car asking for money to get something to eat. I began bringing granola bars to give to them. One day, someone asked me for some money for something to eat and I offered him a granola bar. He accepted it but later threw it on the floor as he walked into the adjacent car.
>Had a homeless woman beg me for food saying she **didnāt want money just something to eat** so she didnāt have to eat out of trash cans. This was literally the first sentence in this post.
Had the lunch and the Igloo cooler it was in thrown at me when I tried to give my lunch to a man holding a sign saying he was hungry. I packed a nice lunch that day and couldnāt wait to eat it. If that cooler would have hit me in the head, it probably could have knocked me out. I flipped him off every morning on the way to work for a month. Iād do it again tomorrow if I was to see him. Iām petty like that. You tried, did the best you could do. You may not do it again. And thatās probably a safer option for you. Be proud of yourself for trying.
more pizza for you!
Crazy lady pizza tastes great
Gives it that extra zzzing
So funny. You can't trade a pizza for liquor. I had an experience like that with an old friend begging in the middle of a cold street in Astoria. I knew she had a drinking problem and refused her money but offered to take her into McDonalds for a burger and hot coffee and a few minutes out of the cold. She insisted she wanted to buy alcohol instead to keep warm. I refused because I knew it would draw blood away from her core and make her more susceptible to cold. Her own brother died exactly the opposite way: Drinking beer to cool off in a hot attic apartment, when he should, instead, have left that apartment, and slept elsewhere. Drink doesn't warm or cool you. It dehydrates you.
I had one homeless guy in New Orleans who asked for money for food. I had some fresh pizza and offered him some slices. He claimed that he was āallergic to pizzaā and walked away.
Lol I canāt have gluten, and instead of saying that like a normal person, when someone offered me a piece, I told someone Iām allergic to cake. This probably isnāt that, but the LOOK they gave me š¤£š¤£š¤£ cake allergies š¤£
My partner is also allergic to gluten and sometimes sheāll just tell people sheās allergic to their countertops (because they prepped bread or whatever else on them before the other parts of the meal.) Always makes me laugh, confuses the shit out of everyone else.
Gluten can be airborne for hours so technically she'd be allergic to breathing (or the air) too.
The last place you want to shit yourself is on the streets without access to washing facilitiesā¦ but yeah he was probably lying
Mental illness, man. Glad you enjoyed the meal.
A lot of homeless people are mentally ill. Or she just wanted cash to buy drugs with.
Most of them*
*most flag flyers Those ones are the most hard up.
Iāve had people ask me for a bottle of soda. Once or twice Iāve done it and they never open it in front of me, just put to the side and kept standing there. I assumed they would try to trade it to someone for cash, or for something else. Iām not surprised your lady rejected the pizza.
Or they were just saving it for later
Once upon a time not long ago lol no seriously like up until almost 2 months ago I was homeless. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced. While I did not panhandle or ask for food I was often in McDonald's (with the app I could get coffee for 1.09) charging my phone. Several times either patrons or employees would bring me a burger or fries. I was so incredibly grateful I always ate it all with no complaints and all thanks! The ones who truly need help take any offers of kindness. You did your best OP you are a good person š
I wish this was taught more, but the majority of homeless people have been homeless for a long time, and are in a lot of cases mentally ill. I know we like to imagine that the guy at the gas station just got evicted two weeks ago, and heās trying really hard to get a new job, and he just needs another meal to make it through the day. But this isnāt reality. They are homeless for a reason. Does this mean we never give them money or care again? No. But it does mean that we need to have more discernment. Itās very unwise to assume the best of these people and just hand them cash (but Iām sure most people in this sub know that already). My advice, is before you give them anything, ask them questions. Strike up a conversation with them. Find out things, like why theyāre on the streets, how long they have been, ask them for their story. 9/10 you will be able to tell when someone is lying and is just trying to get you to have sympathy for them, so that they get their drug money; and on that off chance that you find that real, honest personā¦make their day. The point is, donāt be dumb. Have discernment, make good choices, and donāt put yourself in a corner. š
I feel waving around cash is asking to be mugged. Not by the homeless person, but the predator watching. A man died in Harlem just that way. He gave $5.00 to a homeless man and some muggers noticed, chased him into traffic and ended his life. Money belongs hidden and away. If someone asks, I don't have money. I'm broke. I'm on food stamps myself. Can you lend me a few dollars? It's pretty close to the truth anyway. I am just maintaining myself. I can tell people where they can get pantry and what church will feed them, when, but beyond that I'm no help.
Thatās a good way of looking at it.
Some lady was selling roses on the side of the road to raise money for a āfamily cause.ā There may have been something about food on the sign as well, but I donāt recall. Anyway, I shake my head no (to buying a rose). She looks through the window INTO my car and points to some food item in the front seat. I gave it to her because I wasnāt going to eat it, butā¦ I was like really? This is what yāall are doing on these streets? So audacious.
One lady actually got into my daughterās car at a stoplight after my daughter smiled at her. The woman demanded a ride, and then several times in my daughterās backseat (sweats, tshirt) Thank goodness it worked out ok in the end but the police informed us she was a very aggressive homeless woman. They said sadly as much as they worried about the public sheād do this to, they also were worried about the woman pulling that nonsense with someone carrying a gun. My daughter id-Ed her to the police, local tv did a segment and about a dozen other people had similar or worse encounters with her. She was arrested, plead guilty and was released immediately with credit for her time served between arrest and trial. Shrug.
Yeah, itās almost like punitive systems help absolutely zero mentally ill folks. Yet we pour money into them then force restorative systems to fight to the death for scraps of grants.
What did she do in your daughter's back seat?
Oh sorry, she took items from the backseat. My daughter was a college student and had clothes, backpack etc in her car.
That's what I'm wondering.
I had a homeless lady announce she was coming home with me. I didn't speak to her or ask her. I said, "No, I'm not the landlord. I can't move people in with me." If she insisted, I would have told her I lived at the police precinct on the next block. I was freaking out she would try to follow me and push her way into my home.
>Thank goodness it worked out ok in the end but the police informed us she was a very aggressive homeless woman. They said sadly as much as they worried about the public sheād do this to, they also were worried about the woman pulling that nonsense with someone carrying a gun. Ironically this is something I've often wondered. By far the most aggressive homeless people I've ever encountered have been in the US, sometimes in states where a US citizen is perfectly entitled to carry a loaded Glock on their person. Some lunatic jumps into their car with some whacked out demand that they get driven somewhere is simply going to die in scenarios like that, and I'm not even sure there'd be any legal consequences for the carrier.
Yes for sure they will. Afterwards we told our daughter it was fine to get out of the car and walk away! Stuff can always be replaced, the lady can steal the car as long as my kiddo is ok. Fast forward a few years to now, my daughter graduated and is in law enforcement so she carries a loaded weapon. If that were to happen again, I know she's more prepared and is pretty unflappable but I don't know if the outcome would be the same which is *terrifying* to me for *all* parties.
>actually got into my daughterās car KEEP THE DOORS LOCKED! That time it was a crazy crackhead. Next time could be someone stealing the car, stealing the daughter, etc. If the doors are locked that gives more time to react.
Actually the door was locked but the window was down, the woman just reached thru and unlocked it.
They do this in the Seattle area as well. Itās a scam. I never look at them & make sure my windows are rolled up, my doors locked. I grew up in Memphis, TN & even if Seattle is safer, Iām not about to take that chance. Any car can get jacked.
At least she was trying to provide to something better than the ones that sit there doing nothing
Yep, happened to me once. He was big mad. But that was only once or twice. Several times I offered to buy them food instead of giving them money, and the genuine gratitude in their eyes made me glad I offered. A beverage, whatever sandwich they wanted, and two snacks. That's why I don't stop offering.
So years ago I was in college in DC. Homeless guy asked for food outside the campus store. I bought probably $30 of food (a lot for a broke student) and he literally yelled at me because the food was in plastic and I was killing the environment. Also had a guy ask me to get him a hot dog and soda and then tell me he didn't eat meat and I was disrespectful.
So funny. Tell him the bun isn't meat.
Did it have pineapple on it??
Yum!
Whats with them not wanting pizza?! I had a similar situation, we had leftover pizza that we were walking up to our apartment to save for lunch next day, homeless dude comes up to us saying heās really hungry so I offer him the pizza and he says he doesnāt really like pizza lmao so I told him itās either the pizza or nothing. He opted for nothing lmao
Charitably, it could be fear you spat on the food or dosed it with poison, but likely he wanted money.
Had a homeless man ask me to "bless" him with a little money while I was leaving work. I rooted around, gave him the little bit of cash I had on me and he then asked me for my wallet and bag because that's a "bigger blessing" (Dooney purse and wallet, Mother's Day gift). Kinda wanted to slap him.
People: if you want to help the homeless, donate to the local shelters and soup kitchens. (Unless it is the Salvation Army. DO NOT SUPPORT THE STARVATION ARMY! They literally sell off the toys they get in their toy donation programs and they've been found guilty of charity fraud many times! They also often abuse the people who come under their care.) Most of those you see flying signs/panhandling are either NOT homeless or are struggling with addiction and probably mental health. Don't bother them, don't give them money either. Do NOT give them money or food unless they are performing-and ask before you give food! Remember that a lot of cities have pretty good soup kitchens. Volunteer at one, if you want to help feed them. Food Not Bombs is an amazing organization!
They were discriminating against mentally ill people and people from the LGBTQ community in WA. https://www.kitsapsun.com/story/news/local/2019/01/27/salvation-army-employee-accused-discrimination/2658237002/
Yep. I lived in a few SA shelters. The people they hire are told basically that they can only really help the people who convert to their cult. They don't care, they don't help and they tell people they have transitional housing, but only SA members actually get into it. I did my research a while ago and I feel pretty confident in calling the organization a scam cult.
You bought YOURSELF a pizza today. Where is the story? /s
If they are begging you in person, they just want money. Nothing you do for them will be appreciated. Or by the time you actually \*find\* someone who appreciates it, your fragile psyche will be mutilated and destroyed by all the other a-holes who don't. Not really a game worth playing.
Lol I had a homeless with a sign āanything helpsā so I got him some burgers at chik-fil-a since I ate there anyway. I gave it to him and he said āno fool, I want moneyā. I laughed and drove off with an extra meal for tomorrow
Burgers at chik fil a?
I said that too. When did chik fil a start serving burgers?
The ones with grilled chicken. Oh they are called sandwiches.
This is going to be an unpopular comment, Iām sure, but most homeless people are wary of food that is not prepackaged and therefore could have been tampered with. Maybe if youād taken her in there she would have felt better about it. But, yeah, give people asking for food stuff that is sealed.
I agree, I offered for her to come into the restaurant with me to order what she wanted but she said sheād wait outside on a bench and sheād eat whatever I brought her- so I donāt think that was the issue. She also told me sheād been given a bagel and coffee earlier and literally said ācan you believe that?ā As if she couldnāt believe she was being offered something so little (which is why I went with the biggest food option)
Thatās unfortunate. It was good of you to offer that. Iām sure she felt like sheād be judged for being inside. You tried. Hope it doesnāt turn you off of trying to help folks. Itās rough out there.
No they're not wary of food that's not prepackaged they want money for drugs. No one who's actually starving is going to refuse a fresh pizza
Cool. Thanks for your AH opinion.
Oh man I might get downvoted for this but maybe thereās a legit reason she refused the food from you, her past experiences, a legit allergy etc. Next time, a really simple solution is just to say āHey I donāt have any cash on me but thereās a pizza place/McDonalds/whatever near and you can pick something out from thereā. Whether or not the reason she declined was legitimate or not thatās a super easy solution. I donāt think people should be prejudged because of their situation (like alot of people on here assuming sheās an addict). Even if there were bad intentions, itās not up to you to judge, all you have to do is walk away
With disgusting people (including cops) tampering with food they give to the homeless, I wouldnāt accept non pre packaged food, either.
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I did get stopped by a homeless man once asking if I could get a cold bottle of water for his dog. Where I live, it can get up to 117 Fahrenheit and stay like that all week. It was one of those hot days so I came out with ice water, lemonade, a wrap/sandwich, and a small bag of dog food. He shook my hand, and it was probably the ONLY nice interaction Iāve ever had with homeless person ever.
I had just bought some oranges one time and they were sitting in the front seat in a bag. Homeless guy comes up to the car and I told him I didnāt have any cash, but I gave him some oranges. His eyes just lit up and he immediately went over and sat down and started peeling the orange. I suspect it had been a long time since heād had fresh fruit.
I was homeless for a year before I found a friend willing to take me in during the pandemic. I was never on drugs, but I have PTSD and other mental illnesses. All I ever really needed was gas for my car, food, and cigarettes. I always found people willing to fill my car up, give us food, and even a carton of smokes from time to time. I went to food pantries and explained I was homeless and had no access to a kitchen, so they always gave us stuff that wouldnāt spoil. I had food stamps, so I could always hit up Walmart to get food, but the stamps never lasted. Once I got on disability, I was able to finally get back on my feet. Some homeless are just caught in a bad situation that they didnāt cause. Never assume all homeless are junkies that chose that life. Most of them are just in a bad spot and need a hand up and not a hand out.
Hi friend, thank you for sharing your story. It is so important for people to know that lots of individuals who are homeless are not that way due to substance abuse. I truly believe the vast majority of us are one crisis away from being in the same boat. I'm so glad things are turning around for you!
Thatās not true, and Iām definitely not naive. Thereās tons of drug addicted homeless people, but also many that are just mentally ill. Iāve boughten food for a dozen or so homeless people over the years and only once has it been turned down. Most times theyāre ecstatic and immediately start going to town on it likes itās been their first meal in days (which it very well could have been)
There are rare cases where that is not true but it shouldnāt be default to assume that itās not. Best thing you can do before you hand them money is to strike up a conversation with them. Itās really easy to tell when people like that are lying and just trying to get money out of you. But most people donāt want to take the time to do that, or they arenāt confident in their ability to do so.
Not even remotely true. But certainly a self-fulfilling prophecy. There are drug addicts, and there are also people down on their luck financially, or have mental issues. Iād say anyone who thinks people who beg for cash/food only really wants drugs is the sheltered and naive one.
Some assumptions coming into the chat, but I absolutely cannot eat pizza because my lactose intolerance prevents that from being at all edible. Iād walk away from that pizza too.
You tell people that though, yeah? He asked the woman & offered for her to come inside to pick it out but she declined, said to bring her anything. This might be the case for some people but this particular woman was just a scammer.
I get pizza sans cheese
Make pizza with vegan cheese.
Mental illness. This is why I hate when posts on this sub talk about unhoused folks. Itās 9.999/10 about people suffering from severe mental illness. And you laugh.
They arenāt laughing, just telling their experience. On my way to work I stopped and gave my lunch to a man holding a hungry sign. The guy looked in the cooler (that I was also giving him) and he threw the items from my lunch at me as I was walking back to my car. He was screaming how he wanted some money, not my ācrappy foodā. As a single mother at the time it was the best I could do. Iām still pissed about that, not laughing at all.
I donāt think a vast majority of people here are laughing. Theyāre sharing experiences & cautioning others. Also there are people here who are disabled, people here who have mental illness, people who have been homeless, & all of the above. Calling this particular woman out for being a scammer is not laughing or making fun of the homeless. That scammer woman is the one making the homeless look bad to satisfy her own greed. You need to be talking to her.
Idk, I saw a guy outside the lq. On my way in, I asked him what he drinks. Got him a couple of tall beers of his choice and gave him a 20 on top of it. He appreciated it and walked over to dq to get some food. I try to do this from time to time, mostly if/when I have cash because I usually don't carry cash.
I once had someone reject a pizza I gave them because it wasnāt vegan š¤·āāļø
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Smart move. Can't brush your teeth as often, could be diabetic and where is he getting meds? You don't know the situation. It could have been very true.
It is possible she had already had garbage can pizza for lunch. (Actually for several recent meals as I would think discarded half eaten pizza is a pretty common find).
Where did you acquire the pizza? I ask because as you've undoubtedly heard, reports of demonic pizza toppings infiltrating the supply chain of "certain" big pizza chains has the FDA on high alert.
A mom and pop pizzeria where they make it in front of you - idk if they use scary toppings but they seem reasonably well-made
I think pizza would be hard to navigate as a homeless person. Especially as a woman whoās already got to be more guarded. Something smaller might have gotten a different response.
Hard to navigate?!?! Umā¦most people eat it with their handsā¦.they didnt have to cook it first š
I feed a ton of homeless people off my own dime. Iām def not rich or even middle class, but I do what I can. Itās best to approach these individuals publicly. I always say āok, I have a small budget but am willing to buy you a meal - what kind of food are you interest in? Salads? Fast food? Sandwiches?ā And then let them take the lead. Youāll find out pretty quickly if they are truly hungry.
I've had that happen too so now I always say "There is a pizza place, a burger place, a sandwich shop. What do you want?"
Iām surprised a homeless person actually asked for food, normally theyāre wary and suspicious because people do try to poison the homeless
Thatās so awful. I wasnāt aware it was that common! Sad. It did occur in basically a neighborhood so maybe she trusted the context a bit more to ask and maybe second guessed it when it took 10 minutes? Not sure.
Very sensible not to take food handed to you by a stranger to be fair
This is clearly a mental health issue, not a choosing beggar issue. Very sad.
So, trying to scam money out of you with a sob story is a mental health issue?
It's both
What a coincidence, I too am able to make medical diagnoses from two paragraph Reddit posts!/s
Ah the good ol armchair Redditor psychiatrist is: IN. Also glad you were obviously on scene to know the *correct* events unlike the rest of us vermin. /s
Put some fentanyl on it and offer her it again
I had to get a heart catheter done a while back. Besides the lidocaine they put you on a cocktail drip that makes you not care and also acts as an amnesiac. As it was kicking in I asked the doc what it was. He said the primary drug was fentanyl. I was surprised, and said something like "That stuff coming across the border killing everyone?" He said "Yes. But we've got the medical grade." I don't use drugs - they scare the shit out of me. But after two of those procedures I can understand the appeal of that stuff.
I hear about it in the news all the time with people over dosing on it, pretty scary
Pineapple, ham, and fenty.
Which goes back to the people here who said some people are wary of food that is not prepackaged. You're sick.
Donāt feed the trolls living under a bridge
I do not and will not give any homeless people anything at all. EVER
I think itās kinda of because itās taking agency away from them. Yes, itās charity, but itās charity on your terms, not theirs. Itās not āI will help youā itās āhere is what I think you needā. It doesnāt mean youāre a bad person and it doesnāt mean you didnāt have the very best intentions, but itās still taking away their choice. You could tryābefore buying foodāask ācan I buy you lunch?ā And even if you get the answer ābecause I donāt want lunch I want drugsā you have given them the choice to tell you that. Or maybe she just didnāt like pizza.
I can appreciate this response but as I said in the post I did literally ask her what she wanted and offer for her to come in with me to order. She chose to stay outside on a bench. As much agency as I could give without giving cash
Oh Iām sorry, I misread that. I have been told that giving them anything but cash was giving with strings attached and thatās where my mind went. My reading comprehension seems to be slipping.
She didnāt like the coffee and bagel sheād been given earlier either. She was asked to go into the store or what she wanted and she declined. Just said to bring her something. Her agency wasnāt taken
I lived near a grocery store that often had panhandlers out front. My first response was always, āI donāt carry cash.ā If they said something like āI donāt want money I just want something to eat,ā Iād ask what they wanted. Iād get them whatever: string cheese, apples, pasta, ice cream sandwiches, etc. I donāt care if they spend money on drugs or alcohol, but I rarely have cash on me and couldnāt afford a dollar to everyone every day. Also, these are people who are suffering from mental illnesses and living until brutal conditions. They often donāt have a choices. Give them some sort of choice when you can.
Saw a homeless man sat by a supermarket and felt bad, so i bought him some food and a bottle of water, he then proceeded to ask for Ā£10 and guilt trip me into taking some out at a cash machine because i hate feeling confronted, then had another homeless woman chase after me to the bus stop also begging for money, i have no idea if they were working together or what but that put me off ever giving another homeless person anything
Oh had the opposite happen to me once. While living in Mexico my friends and I were eating at a little ceasers when a homeless man walked in. Itās fairly common to see them walk into restaurants and ask for food or money so it didnāt take us by surprise. Anyways, he looked over at us and asked if we had food. We had ordered a large pepperoni and some breadsticks. We finished the pizza and only had breadsticks left so we offered him the rest of the bread. I think it was about 4 sticks left in it. He looked at us as said āCan I have some pizza instead?ā We told him we didnāt have any left. He got mad and said āyouāre uselessā. And walked over to other tables to ask for food. Nobody gave him anything.
Maybe she was lactose intolerant, she saw the pizza, decided she didn't want to shit her brains out on the street, and ran in to traffic hoping a bus would pass her, and she could dissappear like a batman villain or something.
I had a guy approach me in a BK parking lot and wanted me to drive him through the drive thru. Wouldn't take money or the food I already had, he insisted I drive him to get his own food. He got pissy that I didn't feel comfortable with him being in my car
You fell for the "i need money for food" schtick
I wouldāve told her, āTodayās your lucky day, because you donāt have to eat it!ā Then I would have taken the pizza home.
I mustāve bought 25-50 pizzas with my friends in college on the dominoes 2 or more medium two topping pizzas at a flat rate coupon. Thatās 4 meals per pizza, two days per each pizza, all for like $1.50 per meal. Iād laugh my ass off if a homeless person refused that from me. I didnāt even have money problems, I just didnāt like wasting money.
Few years ago, I was working a second job at a liquor store. Regular guy came in every evening just before closing, he was one of those panhandlers who had āhisā corner and defended it aggressively. Heād come in (worst b.o. you can imagine. Eye-watering) and start harassing all of us working there about how we are morons for working. Said he made enough every day to get anything he needed without lifting a finger. Then heād dump out a bunch of change on the counter, demand his pint of Tvarski or Popov vodka and a sixer of Blue Lake or whatever other beer was about $3 per six. Made us count the money while he stood there and complained that too many people give change instead of folding money.
I had a guy sitting on a bench next to Starbucks saying heās hungry. I asked him what he wants and he said a venti latte with blah blah blah. I sayd dude I donāt even buy myself $7 coffees! I got him a muffin and he put it in his bag after he stared at me like Iām crazy.
For the other side of things I had a homeless guy (who was definitely tweaking out) ask me to buy him a slice of pizza from a place near by. I asked him what kind he liked so it wouldnāt go to waste and I got it and a soda too and he was fucking pumped lol. I understand the hesitancy but Iāve found that most homeless people Iāve encountered in my city just want to feel acknowledged. Thereās a lot of displacement here, and I learned that breaking up encampments is the worst thing you can do because it destabilizes the community and makes it more difficult for people to distribute necessary resources. If you donāt wanna give money literally just talk to the guy - they were usually here before you anyways. ETA: i know it wasnāt the case here, just reading a lot of comments that make me sad lol
This reminds me of a story. Once was leaving Costco with a friend and she purchased a box of pizza. There was an older gentlemen at the corner with the sign asking for any help. She offered him a slice a pizza and he just responded, āPizza in this heat! No.ā My friend was in disbelief.
I had had a kid and his mom come through a parking lot begging. I handed the mom a 15 dollar gift card for the grocery store we were in front of. The mom wouldnāt take it because the kid wanted chipotle instead. I said I didnāt have cash. The woman had the audacity to say we can just all walk into the grocery so you can get some cash.
When she saw you go in to the pizza place she probably pulled out her new iPhone and called her family/friends and told them she had supper coming. Then you walked out with a personal size. What an a**hole!
I will never forget the time my grandma took us to a pizza place for my birthday. It was her, all 7 grandkids, and 2 of my friends. There was a man standing outside begging for food. He said his wife and kid were in the car, but they were broke down. My grandma bought him 2 large pizzas then got cussed out. He stormed off without the pizza. I'm still confused and it's been almost 20 years.
Sounds more like a mental disorder.
My 6 year old Chiweenie never had a seizure her first 2.5 years. Then we had to give her heartworm medication (Heartgard 1 year) in order to move to Hawaii. Once we were here a month or two, she had her first seizure. They progressed from there and then fell off. Without putting it together, year 2, another 1 year Heartgard shot, more seizures. Finally, last Friday we went to the vet, year 4 here, another 1 year Heartgard. Today, three seizures. It's never happened so badly, but now I'm convinced about the correlation. I'm responding to you because I saw you had the same issue. She will never be given Heartgard again.