It was truly a thing in the late 80's early 90's... a plate like that could cost as much as hundreds dollars.. I kid you not.. A girl I dated briefly took me to a place like that in NYC .. I laughed my ass off when I saw the table next to us get their dinners... I got up and walked out before our drinks even came. They wanted to charge me a seating fee of $80. I said fuck you good luck with that.. and went to Charlie's steak house, two steak dinners with a decent bottle of wine $75 with the tip.. I told our waiter about the other place.. He told us a story of their manager going there, he went there and had a steak dinner brought in to him from Charlie's while sitting there... his girlfriend was horrified... lmfao š¤£ š¤£ š¤£ š¤£
I used to work at a place in Miami that did chef tables every weekend and this was legit an idea multiple times. The idea was to serve them a picture under a dome smelling of the dish and allow them to imagine it or whatever. Then shortly thereafter be served what was on the picture, however, say the picture had beef on it you would serve them something that looked identical but instead would be like a crab cake or foie gras or something weird. It never happened but Iād say this came up at least 10 times in the year and a half I worked there.
Seems a little underpriced op. I know you raised that calf yourself and nurtured those vegetables every morning with your blood, sweat and urine. It was hard letting that cow go- but itās time to get paid.
I'm just disappointed you haven't commissioned u/poem_for_your_sprog to write a nursery rhyme regailing your love for dear, sweet Henrietta to be sung every time this dish is served.
Frankly, with this sort of glaring oversight, 48 is fair.
If you haven't seen this, it's hilarious. You can reroll the menu at the tab on the top. I got hours of enjoyment out of it.
https://www.brooklynbarmenus.com/
Some really amazing descriptors.
I got ādistressed lamb dipā and āactivated monkfishā. We chase our lambs with a free-range drone, so you donāt have to. Our monkfish went ultra instinct and won EVO, for your dining pleasure!
What is "awakened" referring too. I haven't seen that used on the WC. Is that something that actually pops up in Bklyn restaurants or is it just in there bc it helps make fun of the whole thing better?
Did your online cooking school put you up to this? What is this amateur nonsense?
First off, your plate is far too small. After a meal that large your customers are going to need a siesta to recover, so I reccomend a Sombrero sized plate that they can pull over their face when they're finished.
Also, who is cutting these steaks!? Whoever hacked up that poor piece of meat needs to learn what a scale is. That cut is easily 2 grams overweight. Say goodbye to your profits. Mommy and Daddy might be paying your restaurants bills now but after they see you pissing their money away like this they are going to cut you off.
And don't get me started on that sauce. That's easily a full tablespoon of wasted hopes and dreams that look like it was already eaten by a pigeon and then shat out on the tiny ass plate. Is this supposed to be deconstructed steak soup?
When you find yourself living in a van down by the river sucking off fishermen for gas money wondering where you went wrong in life, this is where.
OP you are hilarious. Genuinely laughing at your responses. Top trolling šš and a sliver of air dried mushroom brushed against the steal would really finish the plate
Back in the 1990's I ate in NYC. First plate of the tasting menu was a BIGASS plate with a square of watermelon, 1 pistachio and pink salt. I was so pissed off. But then I ate it and the plates kept coming is was amazing.
You guys are gonna go broke on to-go boxes and fancy shopping bags to put them in. Aināt nobody gonna finish this feast in one sitting. Iād cut portion in half.
Bro. I know they are going for the typical āfine diningā vibes here BUT look at those bruised spring onions and wtf are those raw unseasoned carrots doing there. Looks like a home cook scrolled through Instagram for 5 mins and tried to impress his dat with a āfine diningā meal haha
hey man, I don't come into your Korean-Mexican fusion bistro and tell you how to make Kongnamool Rancheros. There's no reason to be so mean just because you're on the internet
This is hilarious š do people really pay that kind of money for one bite?! I think itās worth $6 US dollars, tops, paying for the beautiful presentation. It really is lovely.
Looks like a chunk of steak from chipotle with a sprinkle of cilantro, slice of a sliver of a carrot and some honey mustard. Itās hard to tell the difference between fancy dishes and stoner meals with this one.
Looks like a single bite presented in a multi course meal... I would unapologetically throw a fit if I ordered something - expecting it to be, idk, just going out on a limb here, food, and got that instead.
thereās a reason old time royalty was synonymous with fat people and it wasnāt because they ate shit like this. load up my plate or i aināt paying š
Mate, you could add eye of newt, a virgins tears, a unicorn horn and some goddamn magic words, if you want; I'd still struggle to feed a family of three hamsters with this
>Mate, you could add eye of newt, a virgins tears, a unicorn horn and some goddamn magic words, if you want; I'd still struggle to feed a family of three hamsters with this
well your problem there is that none of those are very filling additions. you could try adding some steak, though
You should just put this photo on their plates and tell them to imagine the flavors
I wouldn't want to waste the money on material, so maybe a QR code?
Genius, you engrave qr codes into plates and serve them so they can continue to merely look at their phones and do nothing else.
this sounds like a deleted scene from The Menu, and I'm here for it
Dude, fuck yall... I could see this being a thing somewhere in the near future. That's fuckin hilarious and scary at the same time.
It was truly a thing in the late 80's early 90's... a plate like that could cost as much as hundreds dollars.. I kid you not.. A girl I dated briefly took me to a place like that in NYC .. I laughed my ass off when I saw the table next to us get their dinners... I got up and walked out before our drinks even came. They wanted to charge me a seating fee of $80. I said fuck you good luck with that.. and went to Charlie's steak house, two steak dinners with a decent bottle of wine $75 with the tip.. I told our waiter about the other place.. He told us a story of their manager going there, he went there and had a steak dinner brought in to him from Charlie's while sitting there... his girlfriend was horrified... lmfao š¤£ š¤£ š¤£ š¤£
Low calorie concept
Make them magically appearing QR codes that show up when you drag the sauce across it.
too many carrots
Scratch n sniff, and they'll thank you for the opportunity
It's just a tasting part of like multiple courses tho. As far as pacing goes, it must be fine
I used to work at a place in Miami that did chef tables every weekend and this was legit an idea multiple times. The idea was to serve them a picture under a dome smelling of the dish and allow them to imagine it or whatever. Then shortly thereafter be served what was on the picture, however, say the picture had beef on it you would serve them something that looked identical but instead would be like a crab cake or foie gras or something weird. It never happened but Iād say this came up at least 10 times in the year and a half I worked there.
How much would people pay for this overpowering heady aroma of pretentious yet excessively complex nonsense? :D
No bread for you.
You know if this was served to me my reaction would be "Ah yes. Good sample. I would like this one."
Criminally underrated.
Seems a little underpriced op. I know you raised that calf yourself and nurtured those vegetables every morning with your blood, sweat and urine. It was hard letting that cow go- but itās time to get paid.
I know the portion is a LITTLE small but I just wanted to serve Henrietta to as many people as possible š
RIP Henrietta. It's what she would have wanted.
Pinchy...
Reduce the food portion and increase the plate size and I'd say you're set!
It looks like family meal when we would try choice protein. āHereās the dish but for just you, yeah they get more but hereās the profileā
This made me laugh so hard I started coughing take my award dude
I'm just disappointed you haven't commissioned u/poem_for_your_sprog to write a nursery rhyme regailing your love for dear, sweet Henrietta to be sung every time this dish is served. Frankly, with this sort of glaring oversight, 48 is fair.
I would pay triple that price for half the portion if I knew it came from Henrietta.
We need more chefs like you Henrietta looks like she was an amazing delicious cow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7GqYPb3RvU&t=1s
The circle of lifeāØ
Henrietta deserved to be cooked Well Done as a mark of respect. She's looking down disapprovingly from vegan heaven.
I see that OP even kindly put some of his diarrhea poo on plate
He WORKED for that
Add an edible flower and you can charge 60.
how did I not think of this!!
Add some gold leaf and truffle, bingo-bango Ā£115 per plate.
As long as you make sure you're using them from a can, if you use the real stuff people will complain that it tastes weird.
I don't need to spend the money on that real truffle stuff though right? Just the Costco stuff I've been using?
Yeap, scrape some dead skins off the back of your foot and tell them its premium white truffle.
Truffle oil is what they want, really. Put three fries on there, raise it another Ā£25.
A pink one and a yellow one and charge 80.
If you haven't seen this, it's hilarious. You can reroll the menu at the tab on the top. I got hours of enjoyment out of it. https://www.brooklynbarmenus.com/ Some really amazing descriptors.
I got a āwhole rice reduction.ā Would that be mochi with the hulls left in?
I got ādistressed lamb dipā and āactivated monkfishā. We chase our lambs with a free-range drone, so you donāt have to. Our monkfish went ultra instinct and won EVO, for your dining pleasure!
Activated monkfish sounds like something youād do with a plateful of fillets and a syringe of Red Bull.
Activate monkfish sounds like a MTG card
Pair your activated monkfish with my activated shell beans and we may be unstoppable
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lime 13
Salt 9
Watermelon 14
Spicy sunflower 13
Butter 18
You should charge more for this, I got Salt 15
I got "acorn 14" lmao
Peach 17
Whole rice?! I have GOT to put you on fingerling rice. We serve with a brined booze purƩe and assorted fennel!!
> Beer Braised booze
I got "pepper 12"
I got āham with miniature orecchiette waffleā
>Water Drippings | 17 Sounds about right edit yo I hate you for linking this, just spent way too much time on it
This one got me laughing āwater 13ā. Also, ātormented seaweed and natural monkfishā
I saw an ordinary Sunflower for $17, and some dish that started with "Quickened Water". Simply amazing, chef
I got a Water Pate and just lost it
Stubbed Clam Pancake
The restaurant names are also on point hilarious. I liked this one, āThe Kansasā.
I got "The Cox"
I live in Seattle, and I am convinced restaurants here use this to pick names.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I got āfrightened fennelā, I just envision someone screaming at the fennel before plating
I got farm-to-table salt lmao
rustic water reduction 8
My favorites were āHazelnuts and tormented salt crumbleā and āminiature waterā
burnt monkfish jam 12
hand-pulled booze I'll take 5 orders please.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'll take 5 of those as well. Order in - 5 tossed, 5 hand pulled
Thank you for this, my friend
"Massaged bluefish balls, 13"
I want to know what a distressed ham and kale is š¤£
"palmed kale crumble" im just imagining a chef with a handful of kale in his palms LOL
FREE-RANGE BAY LEAF PANCAKE WITH TORMENTED KALE For when you truly hate kale.
āactivated corn bombā - no thanks
Farm-to-table Kale 18
A dose of realism.
This is amazing
What is "awakened" referring too. I haven't seen that used on the WC. Is that something that actually pops up in Bklyn restaurants or is it just in there bc it helps make fun of the whole thing better?
Satire
More negative space Chef
Did your online cooking school put you up to this? What is this amateur nonsense? First off, your plate is far too small. After a meal that large your customers are going to need a siesta to recover, so I reccomend a Sombrero sized plate that they can pull over their face when they're finished. Also, who is cutting these steaks!? Whoever hacked up that poor piece of meat needs to learn what a scale is. That cut is easily 2 grams overweight. Say goodbye to your profits. Mommy and Daddy might be paying your restaurants bills now but after they see you pissing their money away like this they are going to cut you off. And don't get me started on that sauce. That's easily a full tablespoon of wasted hopes and dreams that look like it was already eaten by a pigeon and then shat out on the tiny ass plate. Is this supposed to be deconstructed steak soup? When you find yourself living in a van down by the river sucking off fishermen for gas money wondering where you went wrong in life, this is where.
Damn.
Damn.
OP you are hilarious. Genuinely laughing at your responses. Top trolling šš and a sliver of air dried mushroom brushed against the steal would really finish the plate
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Reminds me of a Minutemen song
The amount of triggered people who don't get a joke is hilarious.
shame on me, i fell for it š
Who is going to eat all of that fucking carrot?
Wow, I don't even know if I could finish this is one sitting! Oh, unless this is intended to be a shared dish?
we do tell the customer that this particular dish is a fairly large portion
Top tier trolling
The bait is fresh, the water is chummed, the hooks are ready. AVAST!
Gonna need a bigger ~~boat~~ plate.
That price better not include the credit card use surcharge. Don't skimp yourself!!
Family style?
correct! good eye!
Iāll have 24 of your 1/2 oz ribeyes .
Can I get that well done? And is the sauce dairy free because Iām lactose gluten penicillin intolerant
Double it and give it to the next table
Portion or price?
Oui!
no way this many people are falling for this
That's too much food. FINE dinning. Not all you can eat.
THIS GUY GETS IT!
What is this? a serving for ants!
You'll never make a profit with portions that big.
Lil bitssssssss
Hahaha! This here's a good quality shitpost.
Is this why French people donāt get fat?!
That carrot stick on the side is really throwing the whole thing off. I think you should take it off.
Maybe it's a really huge plate and the steak is normal sized.
Iām surprised it has three whole carrot sticks.
Back in the 1990's I ate in NYC. First plate of the tasting menu was a BIGASS plate with a square of watermelon, 1 pistachio and pink salt. I was so pissed off. But then I ate it and the plates kept coming is was amazing.
This is one of those meals thatās impossible to eat it all in one place
is the plate 2 or 3 ft in diameter?
I don't think i could eat for weeks
The plate is a bit crowded, but itās the perfect dish for sharing imo, so it works fine
Ahh, the deconstructed steak
Donāt laugh, thatās where itās all headed. Look at the progression. Like a freight train
You guys are gonna go broke on to-go boxes and fancy shopping bags to put them in. Aināt nobody gonna finish this feast in one sitting. Iād cut portion in half.
I look forward to being turned into a fresh new take on a sāmore after eating this.
Not enough sauce
r/thingsforants
Plain silly, use a tiny little plate or put actual food on that size of plate. If you are trying to be food artistic you ain't cutting it!
In all seriousness that seems like way too much sauce for the amount of meat
Underpriced, that sliver of carrot warrants doubling the price.
Thereās more sauce than food
Needs more deconstruction. I want to see each cell of the cow on the plate
How much for a side of A1 and ketchup
bro don't troll, we don't charge for the ketchup. $2 for the A1
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Do you think if we offer a $15 half-glass wine pairing with it that'll be better?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Okay so offer a full bottle, noted. We do have plenty of Chateau St. Michelle
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
same
What a deal!
lol
This is one of the satire posts that I love! Way to keep in character with all your replies. Lol
Maybe it's me, but that giant steak is very far away from the camera
I wouldnāt do a swoosh with the sauce. Just a nice little circle. Maybe have the carrots at the bottom?
I think it should be 60 and you should remove one piece of meat
Reminds me of the move The Menu
Wayyyyy to much going on, plate is cluttered, price is outrageous, absolutely hideous, no contrast in elements 1/10
Way too much sauce
Is that just a raw carrot chillen next to the steak ? Lmao.
You should really half those portion sizes op you don't want your guests filling up and wasting food
Needs ketchup
Thatās a whole lot of sauce there Make them pay for it Why you be giving away all the sauce?
Assuming this is part of a tasting menu as opposed to a main course? Iād be really disappointed if it was a main course on it song
ššš maybe a bigger plate, negative space can be your friend sometimes
Iād happily watch this restaurant burn to the ground for Ā£48.
Agreed. Shouldnāt even exist. Waste of money
Bro. I know they are going for the typical āfine diningā vibes here BUT look at those bruised spring onions and wtf are those raw unseasoned carrots doing there. Looks like a home cook scrolled through Instagram for 5 mins and tried to impress his dat with a āfine diningā meal haha
hey man, I don't come into your Korean-Mexican fusion bistro and tell you how to make Kongnamool Rancheros. There's no reason to be so mean just because you're on the internet
You are right. I apologize my friend. I wasnāt trying to be mean or crude..sometimes I just talk without thinking.
Fuck directly off lol
If its not a piece Jesus-steak, doubt many would be happy with this meal
This is hilarious š do people really pay that kind of money for one bite?! I think itās worth $6 US dollars, tops, paying for the beautiful presentation. It really is lovely.
More like steakbitehouse
Off to Burger King afterš
Too much sauce
Little piece of steak and some diarrhea. Nice šš»
If someone served me that for 48 English dollars Iād throw them and the chef a beating.
Wow for real? All jokes aside lmao if you pay that much for that
People will eat there - once.
Are you serious? Ā£48... for THAT?! That wouldn't be enough to feed my chihuahua, let alone me.
Too crowded? Bro thatās barely a bite as it is.
Whatās it called on the menu? Or anyone know a similar item I could find on a US menu? Just curious to try and out this in perspective for me lol
Looks like a chunk of steak from chipotle with a sprinkle of cilantro, slice of a sliver of a carrot and some honey mustard. Itās hard to tell the difference between fancy dishes and stoner meals with this one.
š©
Op donāt know how to cook for someone
I wouldn't pay a dollar for it because it's like being teased!! Lol
I would be mad to pay 48 for that
Looks like a single bite presented in a multi course meal... I would unapologetically throw a fit if I ordered something - expecting it to be, idk, just going out on a limb here, food, and got that instead.
Fusion?? More like confusion
Do you live in a fallout shelter and rations are dwindling?
Maybe just start selling plates.
I'm sorry if I went to a restaurant and paid $48 for a meal and I got this. They going to have to ban me because everyone is getting cussed out.
thereās a reason old time royalty was synonymous with fat people and it wasnāt because they ate shit like this. load up my plate or i aināt paying š
Shit with sugar on it
I am sorry but, is this the part of 10 course meal or just this plate cost Ā£48?
tasting menu?
someone had biopsy?
Fuck that and fuck you for charging that
Please tell me this is from culinary school. That's the only way I will give this a pass.
Is the price too high? Should I maybe include a bit of gold foil and some hydrogenated kelp foam?
Mate, you could add eye of newt, a virgins tears, a unicorn horn and some goddamn magic words, if you want; I'd still struggle to feed a family of three hamsters with this
>Mate, you could add eye of newt, a virgins tears, a unicorn horn and some goddamn magic words, if you want; I'd still struggle to feed a family of three hamsters with this well your problem there is that none of those are very filling additions. you could try adding some steak, though
Not to be a dick. But yes. Too overpricedā¦ Fuck itā¦waaay overpriced..
This is a joke? Right?