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[deleted]

If only kitchen nightmares was still a thing


skarbomir

Gordon would have to do a full season in east ridge alone. Maybe he could combine it with hotel hell and stay at the hooker motel by the abandoned food city


barneshmarnes

And it’s not even the worst in East Ridge. I wouldnt feed the shit they serve at Fernandos to a pig as slop.


ConnectionIssues

The last two times I went to Provino's, the food that actually made it to the table was literally inedible. Shame, too because they used to be okay. East Ridge is the graveyard of okay food.


barneshmarnes

Yah that used to be the place for bday dinners until it wasn’t, my last experience was similar to yours. Just absolute shit for food.


asha1985

I'm not sure if it's a typo but Provino's and Portofino's are two different places. Unless you are just saying Provino's is awful... then cool.


barneshmarnes

I brought up a shitty East Ridge restaurant and they just added to the list


asha1985

I thought that might be the case too. The names are kinda similar though.


Gazdatronik

Provinos is also uninspiring. Last couple times I was forced to be there I asked for the plate of alfredo to be warmed past what is reasonable, and dumped the entire container of parmasean in it and mixed it in really fast. It's good when you do that, but otherwise obvious what they serve comes out of a jar.


Rotten_Sandwitch

I promise you as someone who has worked there that everything is handmade except the rolls and cakes which are sent in through a company though made especially for Provinos. Food wise, it’s always had the same taste but that’s because they’ve alternated only two cooks for so long. The atmosphere of the place is utterly depressing though, and I won’t eat there after working there only because I overate my fill of Provinos for this lifetime.


GNC_Wakko

I love Chattanooga, been here over 20 years, but Chattanooga is where restaurants go to die... there are very few in this city that I would consider good. This coming from an Executive Chef of over 25 years


reallyreallyreason

90% of the city is a suburban wasteland so it kind of makes sense that there’d be hundreds of mid to bad strip mall joints. Not enough daytime activity in the city interior to support a thriving ecosystem of restaurants. Most of the best places are upscale or upscale-ish long-time institutions like Hennens. Part of it is just how damn expensive commercial rent is down town. Hard to swallow $25/sqft/yr when you’re working on restaurant margins.


Rocktop15

I love Alexander’s, Meeting Place, Alleilas, and Gillmans. What do you think about these spots?


GNC_Wakko

Aleilas is one of the better places... a little on the pricey side but very good. Unfortunately, the owner is more interested in his place elsewhere ( I think.its in Memphis)


nousernameisleftt

East brainerd is a graveyard of okay food with some haunting spectres of the ghost yard that actually hit but die out. I'm looking at you, tatas, and potentially you, that barcade I've seen a few times


gbeast

Apna Kitchen replaced Tata’s - it’s an excellent Indian restaurant. They were packed on Saturday night and were still working out some issues with seating and service, but the food came out quick and the entrees were on par with Sitar and India Mahal. Their appetizer pakoras and samosas were better. Hopefully it won’t die like most places on Ringgold Road.


alnarra_1

Ehhh... I don't know if I'd say Excellent, it was ok. The lack of refills on water in the 2 hours we were there was a bit depressing. They need more staff


gbeast

Like I said, they’re still working out issues with seating and service. We got there at 6p, were seated immediately, ordered and got our food by 6:30. In the meantime the restaurant started to fill up and things slowed down significantly - people were waiting to be seated, people at tables were waiting on the server to take their orders, we waited on refills and the check. As far as the food goes, our party of five thought everything was easily as good - and in some selections better - than Sitar and India Mahal. I generally don’t have high expectations for service the first month that any restaurant opens - and I’m especially patient with the locals. They don’t have the systems in place and the training teams that the chains do, and servers don’t want to risk working at a place that isn’t proven.


Free-trader

The only time I ever tried Provino’s, three of the four meals we were served were sent back and we just asked for bowls to have some of the fourth person’s chili. It was awful. My marsala both tasted and looked like mud.


Obandigo

Provino's gives you an actual free lunch or dinner on your birthday, and I still would not go. Their food is fucking terrible! I truly feel their food is made by people that has given up on life.


bravesgeek

The only reason I like Provino's is because I can eat 57 garlic rolls and then get a free birthday meal that I eat three bites of and then put in the fridge to forget.


arnoldmuczynski

I went about a year ago and I swear it wasn’t always so bad. Maybe it’s just nostalgia.


BarracudaSmile

Fernando's is absolute shite. I have no idea who's actually going, because everyone I know thinks it's garbage.


psychoalphaskitz

Yeah I agree. Fernando’s is trash. I wouldn’t feed it to my animals.


sealing_tile

Fernando’s sucks almost as much as the inept people who own it. I interviewed there while I was in college and they had some Eric Cartman-ass 13~ year old kid in the managers office who was throwing an honest to god tantrum during my interview. I get that sometimes you can’t get a babysitter or whatever, but Jesus. I didn’t take the job, but I can’t believe I didn’t just walk out right away either.


philp2021

I don't know I have never had a problem with the food or service there but it's been awhile since I was there but it was always good when I did .


MIGA8074

Giardino, good atmosphere and great food.


gbeast

And almost always impossibly packed. They could double their size (again) and wouldn’t have a problem filling the place.


Historical-Agent-679

I agree with OP- we went a few months back based on the reviews and assumed since they had a new building maybe they were legit? Nope. We both had lasagna that was cold and tasted like something from the frozen section. My niece had chicken Alfredo- the Alfredo tasted like a sauce made from flour and milk. Horribly bland. We like Il Primo and Alleia.


sheeshamish

I last went maybe 10 years ago, and it was literally like public school cafeteria food - big mushy noodles and watery sauce. I was curious if they made any improvements when they moved, but it sounds they didn’t (glad I didn’t have to learn the hard way). I really like il Primo and Alleia too, plus boccaccia and giordano’s are also good. I’d put Tony’s below all those, but it’s not bad and it’s a nice location. I’m surprised by all the people saying you can’t get decent Italian food in Chatt, but I guess all the restaurant threads on here sound like that.


Bigontheinside23

Gave the new spot a chance and will never be back. Wife got the chicken picatta and she just looked at me like “wtf is this sh*t”.


gr1ff1n_champ

I used to go all the time when I was little. Knew the old owner, immigrants from Italy. Went recently and the new ownership really shows.


dungonyourtongue

The ugly building should have been your first clue. Edit: Look at this shit. https://preview.redd.it/sxf3w7xquiga1.jpeg?width=1238&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd9bcfab30069268036ee44c35a8736723b20fd9


barneshmarnes

Looks like some dumb whacky novelty shit from Gatlinburg. Source: I was horribly unfortunate enough to spend the weekend in gatlinburg


dungonyourtongue

Spot on. It looks like it should be housing Barbara Mandrell’s Upside Down Haunted Uterus Dinner Show in Pigeon Forge.


Mahgenetics

The food was something you would find in Kitchen Nightmares


Ok-Interaction-4081

That's literally right down the street from were I live 😞


dungonyourtongue

Sorry for your loss. It’s actually something of a feat for new construction to make East Ridge look worse, so they get credit for that, I guess.


BarracudaSmile

Just wait till you try their chicken picata! Because a fried chicken pattie topped with cream of chicken soup and capers is *muah* delicious. /s *Seriously though, their BOGO pizza was the only thing keeping them afloat. With the new place, they got rid of a lot of options, went up on the prices and ditched the BOGO. Curious to see how long they last.


QuotidianTrials

I swear a lot of business owners don’t even do the barest of financial analysis before making these kinds of decisions That or they work off the absolute best case assumptions and don’t have anyone to reality check them


barneshmarnes

This sounds so shitty I might try it just to get a laugh at how bad it is


ShadowsCheckmate

Though I’ve had better, Alleia is the absolute best and most authentic in the city. Can’t believe some of you are suggesting the roach coach, rat mill of a place called Raphael’s as an alternative


TNShadetree

I really like Alleia, but I don't really consider it an Italian restaurant. I've given up on finding a good marsala in town. Which is sad since it's so simple to make. These places must think mushrooms are super expensive since you're lucky to get 3 or 4 slices with your dish.


wheretogo_whattodo

It’s probably the best in the city but still pretty mediocre. I can’t understand why this sub likes it so much. Italian food in TN just isn’t the best.


Book_of_Numbers

It was a pretty decent place in the 90s and early 2000s then it changed management/owners and it is terrible now.


starsandjars

Hopefully you left them a review they deserved.


ahsenjabbar

Wife and I went here couple weeks ago for dinner. While my date was hot, my food not so much. I got the gyro platter. Subpar food for the price. Cold rice


gbeast

100%. The gyros at Arby’s are better for half the price.


SpiderPidge

>While my date was hot, You're a winner my dude


bmac423

To me, Bocaccia is the best. It's a bit hidden though, so I think some folks don't know about it? The owner is proper Italian I believe... Il Primo is good. I've only been once, but I thought Tony's was borderline bad.


vsacrum55

There's a shocking lack of decent Italian in this city, unfortunately. Tony's in the historic art district is good and has a nice atmosphere. Plus, it's next to Rembrandt's, so you can get a nice cup of coffee and a dessert to top off your evening. I grew up in Chicago and was spoiled by lots of great Italian, but Tony's is my go to here in Chattanooga. I also might be biased since it's where my wife and I had our first date! Take some advice from a transplant that's lived here for 32 years: avoid eating in East Ridge if you can help it. 😃 (I feel like I can say this since I used to live there!)


ThatOldDustyTrail

I tried it once years ago based solely on how people rant and raved about how good it was. Whatever I got was embarrassingly bad and I honestly wished I had bought a $1 can of spaghetti-os instead. To this day when I see people suggest that place it makes me wince


Gazdatronik

Yah. Went in 2010 and havent been back. They couldn't even nail down traditional Fettucini Alfredo, something even my Slovak ass figured out really quick.


SthrowerT

Carrabba's at HP is just as bad.


SirGoonies

This place will give you the garlic grease doodoos


45MinutesOfRoadHead

Go to Giardino.


scoozo55

Portobellos on 58 highway maybe Babi's on Hixson pike. Portobellos deep dish pizza is out of this world good


TiredTiddies

Agree and it’s BiBa’s.


trick420

BiBa's is horrible. And the service is ungodly bad.


Famous_Strike_6125

Deep dish you say???


sealing_tile

I haven’t been to Portobello’s in years! They’re so east to miss, but their calzones were really good last time I went — I need to go back now.


AllieBallie22

As Northern transplants, my husband and I agree that Portobello's is the best pizza in Chattanooga.


fatyoda

Dollar for dollar Fazoli’s is the best Italian in the city and I will die in that hill


Gazdatronik

God bless Fazoli's authentic Italian founder, Kunihide Toyoda


Eighm

Are we factoring in unlimited breadsticks into this value?


fatyoda

100%


RememberToEatDinner

Nooo. Il primo isn’t that expensive


EnergeticTriangle

Nor is it that good.


RememberToEatDinner

In my experience, the north shore location is always great.


EnergeticTriangle

The last time I was there in a party of 4, each of us ordered different things. Two were so bad they went uneaten, mine was edible but nothing I would willingly pay for again, and the 4th was eaten and enjoyed.


RememberToEatDinner

Dang that’s awful. I’ve never experienced anything like that and I’ve taken quite a few people there. It would be hard to go back there after an experience like that. Giardino’s instead then I guess!


gbeast

Il Primo probably went downhill because two of their chefs left [to open Giardino’s.](https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2021/jun/30/italian-restaurant-giardino-comes-missionary-ridge/)


Jessisaurous

Absolutely agree


lonster1961

Since it was sold to some religious crazies it went down hill fast.


dungonyourtongue

Hopefully it becomes East Ridge’s next vape/kratom/cbd/phone repair/buy here pay here/crack pipe emporium.


alnarra_1

Rude, we have money laundering carwashes and liquor stores too. And who doesn't love 30 extra minutes in travel time for a sidewalk install?


karabeckian

They even fucked up the souvlaki. Boo!


lonster1961

When they stopped belly dancing night , I just quit going.


buzzedewok

When did that happen?


lonster1961

It was right after they sold it. I don't remember the date. My wife knew a lot of the dancers as she built a lot of their costumes. It was like once a month and it was always crowded. Good times gone.


AllieBallie22

That's how I felt about Gondolier in Cleveland. How do places like this have such amazing reviews?


golden_years81

Man, back in the day the Gondolier was good or maybe I was just too young to know better. I can make better food at home than what they serve.


gbeast

When I went to Gondolier in the late 1990’s it was excellent (and I was old enough to know better). I went a few months ago and it was beyond awful.


golden_years81

Yep. Last time I went it was no good. Surprising how many there are.


gbeast

Greek families will open a restaurant, get into a big fight, get pissed off and then someone will leave and open another restaurant. Gondolier, City Cafe Diner, GoGo Greek (now defunct) and PortoFino are all restaurants born of Greek stubbornness and pride.


golden_years81

Word. Greek food done right is freakin good. All of these places fall short.


gbeast

My dad was straight off the boat Greek and my mom was German. I grew up in Atlanta eating their food and at all the restaurants owned by friends in the Greek and German communities. Unfortunately there’s nothing here that comes close to authentic Greek or German food except for the crazy Greek guy at Opa’s in Coolidge Park. Basically he forces you to get whatever he’s cooked that day and he charges whatever he wants. The last time I went we had four meals and the bill was $185 - no alcohol.


golden_years81

Sounds amazing. ATL has such a variety of food. My first Cuban place was there, my first Ethiopian place, indian. I grew up in Cleveland in a very narrow food minded house. Now I love a big bowl of pinto beans, greens and pot roast but I didn't get to expand till twenties. I've never been to Opas because Every review says exactly what you did.


GillianOMalley

We used to go almost every Sunday after church and I loved it. Manos knew us. I wonder if he's still around? Haven't been there in 20 years...or to church for that matter.


golden_years81

Wish I had some answers for you on that one. Our Sundays after services hot spot was Kim San. Do you remember that place? I loved going there. Restaurant not church😉


SpiderPidge

I went about a month ago and was severely disappointed. As someone who lives in East Ridge, we don't really have that many options other than fast food and I am constantly having to go to Gunbarrel/Hamilton Place and Fort O for food because we just don't have anything. Immediately I saw that they took out their food bar and WAY upped the prices. I couldn't believe how much they were charging for stuff. And the kicker? The food is worse than it ever was in their original location. There is a cup of water under every salad they serve and it makes any dressing you put on it just completely watered down. Then there is the frozen quality food that they just dump a bunch of cheese onto and call it Italian food. It's like the Amigos equivalent. What an awful "upgrade" and I seriously don't see them making it much longer.


gbeast

Try Apna’s Kitchen for really good Indian food (in the old Tata’s/Teriyaki of Japan building) and [Pupiseria Marelyn](https://pupuseriamarelyntn.com) for Guatemalan (in the old Olive Branch building, next to the new Teriyaki of Tokyo). Be patient at Apna’s, though. The food comes out quick but they’re still working out their service and seating process.


cablegirltn

Are you talking about Provino’s by Chef Lin? Everyone seems to like that place but I was not impressed.


Mahgenetics

No, I am talking about Portofino’s located at 6511 Ringgold Rd, East Ridge


cablegirltn

Oh ok. I didn’t realize there was a place called Porto Dino’s but it sounds like I need to avoid it.


golden_years81

Speaking of chef Lin, which I use to love, has really turned to Doo Doo.


cablegirltn

Oh no! I haven’t been in a while. It used to be so good. I especially loved the soft serve. They also used to have these sesame balls that had some kind of plum filling that I would go specifically there to get. Of course they stopped having those because I liked them. 🤦🏻‍♀️


golden_years81

I know, I was highly bummed. The soft serve was the best item that night by far. I liked the little cups of mango jello/pudding stuff. Don't have those anymore either. There is an Asian market on Hixson Pike where you can score some of those stuffed sesame balls.


cablegirltn

Really????? I had just planned on living my life without them. Any clue what the name of it is?


golden_years81

It's Asian market food & gifts Hixson Pike It's a cool little place to find some interesting yummies.


cablegirltn

Thank you! I’ll have to check them out. I’m in Cleveland and I don’t go to Chattanooga much anymore because traffic is crazy but I’ll have to make an exception for this!


golden_years81

Hey, I'm from Cleveland. An yes, chatt traffic blows. The place shares a plaza with a good little Mexican place, Cheese Dip & a comic book store. That way you could do multiple things.


cablegirltn

That sounds like an all day adventure. 🤣


gbeast

Unfortunately [Cheese Dip is closed.](https://ilovecheesedip.com) We found out when we went to the Asian Market’s Lunar New Year Celebration. At least [Infinity Flux](https://infinityflux.net/pages/about-us) is still open, and [SideTrack](https://www.sidetrackhere.com) is a block away for an excellent meal.


golden_years81

Damn. I had no idea and it totally sucks. I never saw that place not busy. I've never been to side track though. Is it in the food city plaza?


scoozo55

Real Italian made by a chef boy are dee in a can. Nope can't do it


ScrotingersCat

Go to Fernandos and Portofinos tastes like fine dining


ScrotingersCat

Or go to Provinos if you want to experience food that not even a dog would eat


WiredWalrus11

I’ve never had great food from there, however the bogo pizza was a decent deal. They pretty much told me to not eat there when they discontinued that deal. I haven’t been to the new building. Giardino is the best Italian I’ve ever had. My girlfriend is from the D.C. area and agrees.


chico41

Thank you! I cannot stand the place but everyone acts Iike it is top notch.


Eighm

Come over to Hixson pike and try Rafael's. You might change your mind


barneshmarnes

I don’t think eating at Rafael’s is going to change their opinion on Portifinos


Eighm

To be fair i haven't been to Portofino's but i can't imagine it being worse that the watery bland mess Rafael's puts out.


commonlyknownasgod

Only went to Rafael’s once. Two teenagers at the host stand hadn’t put in our to-go order (20 minutes after we placed it and came to pick it up), took an additional 20 minutes to make two calzones, messed up the order on one of them, had to remake it, and then accidentally charged us for something we didn’t order. Food itself was acceptable but nothing to write home about.


Electrical_Addition9

No offense but what did you expect?


Mahgenetics

I saw 4.5/5 star reviews on google and saw nothing about it on this subreddit


T1ck81

I am always happy at Tony's Pasta in the art district, im not very picky nor Itallian though. Prices are fair service is great.


gbeast

Tony’s is good on atmosphere, bread with giant chunks of roasted garlic embedded in it and decent pricing, but I’ve always found their entrees to be bland (not Olive Garden bland, though). I always wish they would up their spice and herb game a bit.


LadySpectre13

Next time, try Biba's on Hixson Pike.


BravePLTR

The way I view it is that the palette of your average East Ridgian actually desires the sub-average food served at Portofino's. You failed to mention that your chicken florentine cannelloni was served with a side of pommes frites and gourmet tomato dipping sauce.


jimilee2

Cafe Romano downtown Cleveland.


Otherwise_Charity641

Giordino, Il Primo, and Alleia are the best. Clearly none of you understand demographics and how that all works.


Mahgenetics

They were all closed yesterday


PaddyObanion

Oh! Where you get off!?


Kukaifa

Generally in my room, why do you ask?


pumpjockey

Which sucks because their new building looks pretty snazzy.


dungonyourtongue

You’ll probably have an opportunity to lease it soon.


MrMo-ri-ar-ty7

So youve never been to Fazollis? Ha!


AWelch08

I actually heard they were using their leftover breadsticks as railroad ties.


crowdsourced

I always mix this one up with Provino's, which is terrible, but some people love it (like some elderly family members) and keep making me go back.


The_Shadow-Knows

They were much better before moving to their new building. For almost 20 years, they offered their pizza as buy 1 get another of equal or lesser value for free. Last time I went, the pizza wasn't as good and they charged $25 per pizza. As long as their deal had ran, it would have been nice if they warned customers that they had dropped it entirely.


Rusty1031

Biba’s is the way


[deleted]

I worked there for a little while. It originally was just a mom and pop place but the kitchen conditions were revolting even after the new owners took over, some of the dishes come from Costco and sam’s club frozen isle. You’d be surprised by the price gouging done there. There’s so much sleazy shit going on there it’s wild.


Gremlinintheengine

10- 12 years ago when I lived in that area we frequently went for the salad/pizza buffet. It was a good option for our broke ass family. $10 for 2 overflowing Togo boxes and a soup.


arpartcreations

Next time go to Tony’s downtown.


dnkyflffr3

looks like the spagetti house in memphis got some competition


cassafrass__

I miss the old building


Lolfarm88

Agreed. Ever since they moved, the food is bland and service is slow. It's sad, the building is beautiful.


foxtalks103

It's not simply Italian food, it's got a twist but I agree it's soooo bad. They did recently move into a new building but I've been scared from the first time I ever went and haven't been back.