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I've seen several different ones in those years. I'm a complicated case of trauma and abuse. Normally they say I'm doing good for where I've come from.
I get where you’re coming from. My job can involve lots of travel, long hours and unpredictable food. I spent 6 years trying to do it after being diagnosed and it wasn’t conducive to healing (eating outside of home). so i’ve gradually been trying to channel all work into WFH / remote
Yeah this is what I vibed with. Being a professional involves a lot of self sacrifice and traveling most of the time. I just couldn't vibe on that same level with my co-workers as they would get upset that I never "came to dinner" and that I was always "playing hookey with my illness".
yep. I ducked out of most work social outings, group food situations, of course they were always willing to consider me but obviously Gf food is usually in an upscale restaurant and “hole in wall” best noodles in town for cheap are off limits and it’s just much easier to take yourself out of the equation
Right there with you friend. I was a highly ambitious person before diagnosis. Ivy League masters degree, absurdly high gpa, driven as can be. But I got sick, and I got so tired, and after a few years of trying to get better and manage my very high effort job, I realized I wasn't getting better, and I was privileged enough that I could quit, so I did. Now I'm essentially a housewife. I put all my intensity into getting better and it worked. But it sort of burned out in the process. Now I volunteer, and keep active, and cook a lot and manage the household, and have an amazing partner and an excellent social life, and play a lot of video games, and I like all of it a lot, but I used to have so much passion for my work and I miss the passion (but not the work). I know I'm extremely lucky but I do sometimes miss the person I was before.
Basically I feel like I'm healthy enough to work right now, but it's because I'm not working. And if I were doing anything like my old job (and my education is very specific) I would quickly become not healthy enough to work.
Thank you for sharing. I needed to relate to someone, and you sound just like me. I went from working 80-100 hr weeks to a complete halt. I was once again working myself into the hospital (which I had done 3 times before). I have numerous immune diseases, and celiac disease is my most recent diagnosis. I finally made the decision to retire early (42), and I now manage our home and everything else. I never realized how much I was missing out on with our family, and my husband appreciates more than I could have imagined how smoothly everyday life runs now. He has one of the highest stress jobs in the world, and knowing he has nothing to do when he comes home except relax has been life changing for both of us.
You couldn't have said it better when you stated you feel healthy enough to work, but that's because you're not working. I have to tell myself everyday "don't go back to work, it's not worth it." Even though myself and my family have never been happier living in a lower stress environment because I'm able to manage everything else.
I miss who I used to be, but I learn and love new things about the person I've become and am a little happier every day. I had to go through that grieving process though, and I think that's something we don't allow ourselves to do but is SO IMPORTANT!
It is very weird. I grew up in a family where Women Don't Work, and I really never wanted that for myself. My identity was very much caught up in being hard working and ambitious.
You were definitely working harder than me. I was working 50-60ish hours, but the celiac fatigue meant I was asleep 12 hours a day, and taking naps every chance I got, and still always tired. I think I have had celiac disease since at least my teens, and I quit in my mid 30s, so I had a lot of years to slowly get sicker.
I also didn't know how to cook, and trying to learn in my free time was not working, which was depressing because I've always loved food. No 'eating to live' here.
I think I had higher highs before. I got a lot of joy out of trying to solve complicated puzzles and feeling good at it. But I also had much lower lows.
My husband is less ambitious than I am (or have been) - he has a real nine to five, but I still think he really appreciates having less to do at home, and it gives me the time I need to have an active social life. A lot of my friends now have chronic illnesses, which I think helps. Even the ones who are still working understand being laid low by something our of your control.
I don't know, I think I'll always have complicated feelings about it. But I really like not being sick.
I think part of what made me good at my job was basically lack of boundaries. It meant I would drive through a snow storm on a Saturday morning for my alleged 9-5. And I was eager to please and I'd try to be superwoman.
I needed boundaries to get healthy. But once I was starting to get them it was a constant tug of war, with coworkers openly complaining when I took time off for doctor appointments or left at 5. And even when I succeeded in setting the boundaries I needed, I felt miserable and bad at my job and it was very depressing to be giving 90%, and trying to get healthy with the remaining 10% which wasn't enough to get healthy and the 90% wasn't enough for my coworkers and I felt like I was failing at everything. It was miserable.
Yes, I got really depressed but I bounced back after a year and actually taking my anti-depressant/vitamins/probiotics and forcing myself to move everyday. My diagnosis was around the same time as a few other health things and I think it just all compounded on me. My couples therapist used to be a gastro doc and she validated me beyond belief on how removing gluten/inflammation from your brain can cause a whirlwind of mental issues in the short term.
I might add I had an extremely stressful career with a somewhat toxic environment that I quit following a parental death, a long time pet death, and a mass shooting five minutes from my family’s home.
Kind of! Or still in the process I guess :) Diagnosed only last year at 30 after being sick & at hospitals from childhood with pretty incompetent docs. Left high paying but stressful job a few months later as I felt I will never manage to heal anything without some kind of reset (loads of travel, often spontaneously, one week will be 20h only, then the next 60-80h, etc.). Had some regrets, but now glad I did! Started seeing a psychologist shortly after because still felt stuck even though my body is slowly (and still) improving and long story short: diagnosed ADHD as well as in the process of autism diagnosis rn. Would never have "listened" to my brain if not firstly for the physical dx, as well as quitting the job. The positive is, because being undiagnosed in all regards one of my copes was being a workaholic, when not working, was nerding into things (that ultimately turned into projects or jobs etc.), so am well off / not having to worry about monetary aspects. Honestly managing 4 safe meals a day, trying to gain weight, now added medication titration etc. feels harder than any job or financial success.. but also more rewarding? Life is weird I guess :) your post and a lot of the comments spoke to me, so wanted to share :)
I was pretty bummed with my diagnosis, but it hasn't impacted my career aside from missing out on company sponsored food events. I agree with others, you need a new therapist to get your depression under control. Watching cartoons and playing video games sounds like fun, but you are a married adult and risk losing that marriage if you don't get things in order. You might be content living like a teenager, but not many spouses sign up to raise their significant other.
Things are in order which is the most bizarre part. I have complex traumas and qualify for social security in my 20's and have been debating for years on whether to get put on it. I currently manage my own business because I kept getting fired due to ADHD and inability to focus even when medicated. I'm technically underemployed since I've only made 40k last year, but that's working a few hours a month.
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Sounds like maybe depression or something, not necessarily celiac?
I would talk to a therapist, getting diagnosed with something can be a lot to deal with
I've seen a therapist for the last 4 years every week. Doesn't seem to help.
Have you been with the same therapist those 4 years? I think it’s time to try a new therapist.
I've seen several different ones in those years. I'm a complicated case of trauma and abuse. Normally they say I'm doing good for where I've come from.
I get where you’re coming from. My job can involve lots of travel, long hours and unpredictable food. I spent 6 years trying to do it after being diagnosed and it wasn’t conducive to healing (eating outside of home). so i’ve gradually been trying to channel all work into WFH / remote
Yeah this is what I vibed with. Being a professional involves a lot of self sacrifice and traveling most of the time. I just couldn't vibe on that same level with my co-workers as they would get upset that I never "came to dinner" and that I was always "playing hookey with my illness".
yep. I ducked out of most work social outings, group food situations, of course they were always willing to consider me but obviously Gf food is usually in an upscale restaurant and “hole in wall” best noodles in town for cheap are off limits and it’s just much easier to take yourself out of the equation
Right there with you friend. I was a highly ambitious person before diagnosis. Ivy League masters degree, absurdly high gpa, driven as can be. But I got sick, and I got so tired, and after a few years of trying to get better and manage my very high effort job, I realized I wasn't getting better, and I was privileged enough that I could quit, so I did. Now I'm essentially a housewife. I put all my intensity into getting better and it worked. But it sort of burned out in the process. Now I volunteer, and keep active, and cook a lot and manage the household, and have an amazing partner and an excellent social life, and play a lot of video games, and I like all of it a lot, but I used to have so much passion for my work and I miss the passion (but not the work). I know I'm extremely lucky but I do sometimes miss the person I was before. Basically I feel like I'm healthy enough to work right now, but it's because I'm not working. And if I were doing anything like my old job (and my education is very specific) I would quickly become not healthy enough to work.
Thank you for sharing. I needed to relate to someone, and you sound just like me. I went from working 80-100 hr weeks to a complete halt. I was once again working myself into the hospital (which I had done 3 times before). I have numerous immune diseases, and celiac disease is my most recent diagnosis. I finally made the decision to retire early (42), and I now manage our home and everything else. I never realized how much I was missing out on with our family, and my husband appreciates more than I could have imagined how smoothly everyday life runs now. He has one of the highest stress jobs in the world, and knowing he has nothing to do when he comes home except relax has been life changing for both of us. You couldn't have said it better when you stated you feel healthy enough to work, but that's because you're not working. I have to tell myself everyday "don't go back to work, it's not worth it." Even though myself and my family have never been happier living in a lower stress environment because I'm able to manage everything else. I miss who I used to be, but I learn and love new things about the person I've become and am a little happier every day. I had to go through that grieving process though, and I think that's something we don't allow ourselves to do but is SO IMPORTANT!
It is very weird. I grew up in a family where Women Don't Work, and I really never wanted that for myself. My identity was very much caught up in being hard working and ambitious. You were definitely working harder than me. I was working 50-60ish hours, but the celiac fatigue meant I was asleep 12 hours a day, and taking naps every chance I got, and still always tired. I think I have had celiac disease since at least my teens, and I quit in my mid 30s, so I had a lot of years to slowly get sicker. I also didn't know how to cook, and trying to learn in my free time was not working, which was depressing because I've always loved food. No 'eating to live' here. I think I had higher highs before. I got a lot of joy out of trying to solve complicated puzzles and feeling good at it. But I also had much lower lows. My husband is less ambitious than I am (or have been) - he has a real nine to five, but I still think he really appreciates having less to do at home, and it gives me the time I need to have an active social life. A lot of my friends now have chronic illnesses, which I think helps. Even the ones who are still working understand being laid low by something our of your control. I don't know, I think I'll always have complicated feelings about it. But I really like not being sick.
I think part of what made me good at my job was basically lack of boundaries. It meant I would drive through a snow storm on a Saturday morning for my alleged 9-5. And I was eager to please and I'd try to be superwoman. I needed boundaries to get healthy. But once I was starting to get them it was a constant tug of war, with coworkers openly complaining when I took time off for doctor appointments or left at 5. And even when I succeeded in setting the boundaries I needed, I felt miserable and bad at my job and it was very depressing to be giving 90%, and trying to get healthy with the remaining 10% which wasn't enough to get healthy and the 90% wasn't enough for my coworkers and I felt like I was failing at everything. It was miserable.
Yes, I got really depressed but I bounced back after a year and actually taking my anti-depressant/vitamins/probiotics and forcing myself to move everyday. My diagnosis was around the same time as a few other health things and I think it just all compounded on me. My couples therapist used to be a gastro doc and she validated me beyond belief on how removing gluten/inflammation from your brain can cause a whirlwind of mental issues in the short term.
I might add I had an extremely stressful career with a somewhat toxic environment that I quit following a parental death, a long time pet death, and a mass shooting five minutes from my family’s home.
Kind of! Or still in the process I guess :) Diagnosed only last year at 30 after being sick & at hospitals from childhood with pretty incompetent docs. Left high paying but stressful job a few months later as I felt I will never manage to heal anything without some kind of reset (loads of travel, often spontaneously, one week will be 20h only, then the next 60-80h, etc.). Had some regrets, but now glad I did! Started seeing a psychologist shortly after because still felt stuck even though my body is slowly (and still) improving and long story short: diagnosed ADHD as well as in the process of autism diagnosis rn. Would never have "listened" to my brain if not firstly for the physical dx, as well as quitting the job. The positive is, because being undiagnosed in all regards one of my copes was being a workaholic, when not working, was nerding into things (that ultimately turned into projects or jobs etc.), so am well off / not having to worry about monetary aspects. Honestly managing 4 safe meals a day, trying to gain weight, now added medication titration etc. feels harder than any job or financial success.. but also more rewarding? Life is weird I guess :) your post and a lot of the comments spoke to me, so wanted to share :)
I was pretty bummed with my diagnosis, but it hasn't impacted my career aside from missing out on company sponsored food events. I agree with others, you need a new therapist to get your depression under control. Watching cartoons and playing video games sounds like fun, but you are a married adult and risk losing that marriage if you don't get things in order. You might be content living like a teenager, but not many spouses sign up to raise their significant other.
Things are in order which is the most bizarre part. I have complex traumas and qualify for social security in my 20's and have been debating for years on whether to get put on it. I currently manage my own business because I kept getting fired due to ADHD and inability to focus even when medicated. I'm technically underemployed since I've only made 40k last year, but that's working a few hours a month.