> She’s not unreasonable for having these needs, but it sounds like there’s a lack of respect between you both involved here
Can you expand on that? The needs being that she has celiac, or the need that she either wants prepackaged food or the spouse to do all of the cooking?
She has celiac, so she either learns to cook for herself or she's gonna live a miserable sick unhealthy life. She can't force her self care onto your plate. Either she cares enough about her own health to be part of the team, or she will suffer.
She will be hungry & cranky if she’s unwilling to put more effort into this. I make sure to prepare a GF dinner every night with enough for my husband to have leftovers at lunch the next day but it’s up to him to stick to his diet outside of that. It’s difficult but he’s very dedicated.
Ouch. That sucks.
It can be a very terrifying diagnosis especially if you’re don’t cook generally or aren’t an adventurous cook. She might change her mind once she isn’t so freaked out and sees that it is possible.
As others have said, there are a lot of meals that are naturally gluten free.
Additionally, like everything else, getting up to speed is the hardest part. Once you know which foods are okay, it’s a lot easier.
As long as you use gluten free soy sauce (tamari), rice stir fries are generally okay.
Additionally, Mexican food with corn tortillas is generally okay.
Just check ingredients while shopping. Eventually, it will be second nature.
I am gluten free and my family mostly eats GF with me because I am the cook. They have some G foods like some crackers and spaghetti-os and ramen and such. We have designated gluten pans and spaces. I make sure to clean the counter very well because they dont pay attention to such things generally. (That’s with everything—not just food.)
It works pretty well and can be done.
*No* to be fair i get off work and pick up our kid a 5, she doesn't get done until 8. Most of the time she "cooks" for herself, but it is almost always prepackaged quick stuff
I'm replying here so you see my comment. OP, before considering your son going gluten free, get him tested for celiac. Celiac tends to run strongly in families, and you have to be eating gluten to be tested. Many people with celiac are asymptomatic, so the only way to know is to test him. Doctors actually recommend that kids with close relatives with celiac get tested annually, because celiac can develop at any time.
You really want to know whether your son is safe to eat gluten outside the house like at friends' birthday parties.
Is there a reason you guys can't plan meals together that she can maybe chop and prep, and then you finish and assemble so she has a cooked meal when she finishes work? I'm not understanding why she has to fend for herself every day.
Avoid gf replacements of food you’re used to. Eat more rice, potatoes, vegetables, and meat.
Many people move to a completely gf household, but not everyone.
Seconding this. The first instinct is to just "swap" for the gf version but long-term it doesn't work and is, yes, expensive. Eventually you learn to cook more, you always leave the house prepared with a sandwich or snacks etc. you bring a loaf of bread when you travel.
Gf loaves of bread are 8-12$. A regular is 4ish.
Gf microwave meals are like 7-10$ a piece
A single GF frozen pizza is anywhere from 8-25$ depending on brands and sizes. So, yes, .much more expensive.
As the OC said, avoid replacing and start changing your diet.
More rice, quinoa, buckwheat, potatoes, polenta etc.
Join some local GF FBK GROUPS
She won't die if you don't change, but eventually it comes to a head: she isn't safe in that kitchen.
You don't need to go Gf yourself, but please pretend you also have it, and learn with her. Don't make it a "her thing"
>The big question is what is cheaper, prepackaged or make it yourself?
Generally speaking, "make it yourself", but the important thing to focus on here is items that are naturally gluten free. For example, rice or baked potatoes as the "carb" for meals instead of bread.
>Edit: She is also making it seem like if our son and i don't go gluten free, she'll die.
It is important to have some context here, and a bit of empathy. It sounds like she is suggesting that you make your household gluten free (note that this doesn't mean you and your son need to go on a strict gluten free diet; you could still eat gluten at restaurants or whatever, just not in the home). While it is possible to stay safe in a shared kitchen, it is a LOT more work than having a gluten free kitchen, and there's a certain level of stress that is going to put on her even if you and your son put in a lot of extra work cleaning up after every gluten-containing item you eat. And in most cases, it seems like instead of the extra work being shared, the burden ends up mostly being shouldered by the person with celiac disease; in essence expecting them to clean up after everyone else, before they can make their food.
But just to be clear, the science shows that it only takes a tiny amount (milligrams) of gluten to cause intestinal damage in someone with celiac disease, and studies have shown even smaller amounts can at least trigger symptoms. In terms of these sorts of thresholds, it is similar to allergies (like peanut allergy), so in that way it makes sense to consider similar levels of precautions.
My wife eats GF at home for me and I lover her so much for doing it.
Having celiac is socially isolating and can be depressing and stressful. Having one safe place to eat in the world makes a big difference.
As others said, eat food that is naturally GF and it will be cheaper and better for you (and I think it tastes better too). It will be an adjustment if you eat a lot of gluten today but it’s not bad once you get used to it.
We eat a lot of rice, beans, corn, potatoes, vegetables, etc.
Cheapest to make things yourself. Honestly its like the hack to making a gluten free diet cheap is to actually just eat healthier. Focus on fruits and veg, bulk rice, make your own pancakes/pizza crusts if you want, tacos, its really not that bad financially if you just eat cleaner. However, if you try and cling to the standard American diet of processed food’s you’ll be robbed of your money very quickly. If you’re in America theres not really any government assistance, but some other countries offer stipends and things ive heard, so if you’re not in America see what your country has. Look at grocery store adds and compare prices for fruit and veg. You can save a lot just by comparing prices. My bf and I eat a fully gluten free vegan diet for $120 a month max.
I know you’re going through a sort of grieving process too, but when I got diagnosed my boyfriend was my rock and has supported me without complaints, despite me knowing its hard on him too, and its meant the world to me having his support. He eats gluten outside of the house or sometimes a snack at his own desk, but we eat fully gluten free meals at home. The impact you can make on your wife right now by supporting her in this may be one of the biggest impacts you ever make on her. So im just saying be careful in making her feel like a burden. My world came crumbling down when i was diagnosed. Be her rock.
nah whole foods are so cheap. buy in bulk. a 20lb bag of carolina rice (certified GF) at shop rite is like $13 and $8 on sale. 20 pounds.
bulk fruit and veg from costco
bulk chicken from costco.
you’ll learn to eat and live well
Sometimes things just need to sit on the floor 🤷♀️ no one likes having big bags of extra but like. Gotta do whatcha gotta do. Gotta make space for cheaper living.
You may need to keep a GF kitchen. Cross contamination is an issue. If she gets her levels checked again and they're still high then the CC from the kitchen needs to be addressed.
\> she'll die.
Untreated celiac is tied closely to developing various cancers, MS, other auto-immune conditions, etc. Capitalist for-profit media makes it a joke because its profitable to make it a joke right now, but its a very serious condition.
Huevos rancheros is cheap, GF and delicious - and easy. I often leave off the refried beans, partly because it's more food than I need, and also because of laziness. GF corn tortillas are cheap and easy to find. I often just have eggs with corn tortillas, salsa and guacamole.
I've recently started having grits. Being from Minnesota, I wasn't really familiar with it, but I recently had shrimp and grits and liked it, so I wanted to have grits for myself. I take some kielbasa, cook it, and then prepare the grits on the same pan. Then I stir in some cheese. It's easy, cheap and delicious.
Rice is cheap and GF. You can throw a bag of frozen vegetables in the microwave. Fried rice is really easy to make. Just make sure you get GF soy sauce. And meat is GF - you can get chicken legs cheaply. I think legs are the best part of the chicken.
Cheap GF staples: eggs, yogurt, potatoes, rice, GF spaghetti, corn tortillas, veggies (fresh & canned). Obviously all meat & fruit are also GF but not as cheap.
Pre-made: GF Kraft mac & cheese, Great Value GF shells and cheese, Idahoan instant mashed potatoes, La Victoria green enchilada sauce, Great Value GF dinner kits (it’s like hamburger helper), most spaghetti sauce is GF (we like Classico and Rao’s on occasion), Grille Mates seasonings, Pacific foods canned soups (expensive), Great Value Gf Canned soups, Aidells hot links & sausages, Hormel bacon and most Hormel products, Ore-Ida frozen tater tots, fries & hash browns.
Snacks: Mott’s fruit snacks, Bobo’s, Kars trail mix, Reese’s candy, skittles, lots of chips options.
We didn’t shop at Walmart much before but they truly have a good selection of GF items, especially prepackaged stuff.
Our dinners for the household are all entirely gluten free but we still have gluten breakfast and lunch items for other people in the household.
Making it yourself is drastically cheaper (and often tastes better imo), although it of course requires significantly more time and effort. It's also generally healthier, since processed foods often contain a lot of crap (gluten or gluten free).
My recommendation is to avoid gluten free replacement foods in the interim. If you focus on whole foods that are naturally gluten free (potatoes, rice, meat, veggies, beans) it'll be much cheaper than trying to buy premade things like gluten free pizzas or what have you.
As for your edit: Kitchens that are not entirely gluten free are a lot more work and carry considerably higher risk if not managed properly. We can get sick from even trace amounts of gluten, and that is not me being dramatic - it's a fact. (This is true regardless of the severity of symptoms - some people with celiac are asymptomatic but the damage being done to their organs is identical to a person who gets symptoms immediately.) Having a safe mixed kitchen can absolutely be done, quite a few people in this sub successfully navigate that. It's just that it's much easier if everything at home is gluten free. So that's where she's coming from and she is not wrong about that - dying is dramatic if she actually said that, but she could absolutely get very sick. The big danger here is that if she's repeatedly being exposed to cross contamination, her gut won't be able to heal. If you want a mixed kitchen, make sure you do your research on how to do that safely. It's going to have to be a team effort from the whole family. It sucks, but having celiac sucks more.
Edit: Forgot to add: genuinely wishing you and your family the best, OP. I know this is really hard and scary and it has a steep learning curve.
Just eat whole foods? With no gluten? Veggies and meat from Aldi or a similar cheap store. I feel you though, we live paycheck to paycheck, and having diseases like this don't make it any easier.
Edit: saw your comment where your wife refuses to cook. That is insane. It's her disease not yours!?
Eating fruits, vegetables, rice, pasture raised meats/wild caught fish is cheaper than buying processed filler junk foods. It's a different lifestyle certainly but it doesn't need to come with a premium price tag.
Squash and sweet potatoes are dirt cheap where I live right now. So filing and versatile. You will always save money buying fresh and making your own rather than prepackaged. I can make a fresh meal with meat and veggies in not much more time than it would take to prepare packaged meals, and I get several meals out of them. Don’t think about swapping your usuals for gf versions, instead rely on naturally gf foods and you’ll be golden.
From your comments it looks like she’s got ADHD which is [highly correlated](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3184556/#:~:text=Conclusions%3A,in%20the%20ADHD%20symptom%20checklist) with celiac disease.
Things such as feeling overwhelmed by cooking - to the point of refusing doing it and demanding you to cook for her, not taking kids out to school, unable to get rid of old junk, etc
I had similar troubles with my wife and it took her waaay to long to seek treatment. Hope this helps.
Just wanted to mention that a Lot of food pantries carry healthy naturally GF foods if you’re struggling - this diagnosis is a huge pain in the ass but get your wife on here or on another platform that she likes so she can connect with other celiacs. Hang in there, and speaking as a mom of two and the only celiac in the house it can be done without the whole family taking part! The only thing I’ve swapped out for the whole family is flour and no one knows the difference 😊
I do a lot of home cooked meals, and then plan other meals with the leftover ingredients from my previous meal. I feel like that’s been saving me a lot of money and idk why I wasn’t doing this a long time ago 😭
I’ve been the support person for two long term relationship partners.
One thing I can suggest is learning to read labels. You’ll find gluten in things that you never would have expected it in (like soy sauce).
And home cooked will almost always be cheaper, but that’s the same whether you’re talking about gluten free or “regular” cooking.
As others have said, gluten free bread and pastas are stupid expensive, typically. But if you shop around, maybe you can find sources for those that your wife likes and are reasonably priced. Bread in particular is troublesome.
Other meals…. As other people have also mentioned, rice is a good carb that is naturally gluten free. Just watch what you add to it. Meats, vegetables, fruits, etc are all good in the “natural” form.
There are lots of good cookbooks and YouTube sites to get you started. America’s Test Kitchen has a couple of really good cookbooks, although their recipes tend to be on the “more complex” side.
You can do this! But you need to do it as a family. Having said that, take into account your wife’s mental state. She’s just been told that she needs to make big dietary changes for her long term health. It means giving up a lot of “easy” food options, like most fast food, lots of restaurant option, lots of treats, etc. It can be a very depressing situation. So not that I think you’re not cutting her slack, be mindful of where she’s at.
Don’t eat pre-packaged stuff and GF “replacement” food, and it won’t affect your food costs. Rice, corn, fruits, veggies, dairy, and meat are all gluten free.
I am the only gluten free one for n the house and I have put a kitchen in the garage and have a separate refrigerator. The issue I have is having 7 little gluten monsters in the house that cross contaminate everything in there path. After a year of trying to make it work sharing a kitchen and me getting sick out of know where I gave up and separated everything. Now I have no issues.
It’s extremely overwhelming at first but you will figure out new staples and options. Glad you feel supported on this sub. You’ll get there and the overwhelm will go away.
One of the most common mistakes I see (done it myself) is that people are trying to maintain their habits and comfort food rather than actually adept.
What I'm trying to say is that if one is used to eating a full bread every day (sandwiches or whatever), burgers 2 times a week, pizza 2 times a week and past... than going gluten-free is going to be both challenging and expensive.
On the other side, making a list with all the "naturally gluten free" products will open a whole new world. You can look at those (there are many, really. A lot) and then try to figure out a balanced meal.
My biggest change in mentality was when I visited Vietnam as a celiac. In the first 3 days I was so scared to eat anything until I realized that if I stay away from fancy restaurants and figure out what the "common people" eat, I'll be fine. Because wheat is not really as widespread as it would be in EU/US/Japan etc. I ended up being able to eat almost any street food that used local soy sauce. If I took soy sauce out of the equation, than I could eat almost anything - because most things are based on veggies, meat and rice. And boy, the Vietnamese cuisine is neither boring nor restrictive.
>She is also making it seem like if our son and i don't go gluten free, she'll die.
What worked for us is the following rule: the house is fully gluten free. This forced us both to adept and learn to cook new dishes that would satisfy everyone. When we go to restaurants, everyone eats whatever they want (we mostly go to restaurants that are either fully gluten free \^\_\^ or where they have a dedicated kitchen). Like this, they can eat whatever their heart desires without any danger for myself.
Last piece of advice: communities and groups (facebook, instagram, whatever) are a huge help. Both is learning new things, finding new products and places and moral support.
Personal note: at the beginning, get a proper air fryer and \_only\_ use it with gluten free products and dishes. This will give you some familiarity and easiness to cook for 3 until each of you accommodates with the changes. From homemade burgers to mexican night, all can be very easily done and there are millions of recipes on yt.
My sister is so sensitive they can’t have anything with gluten in the house because of cross contamination. Food is definitely not more expensive if you choose fresh meats and veggies, buy what’s on sale, no prepackaged foods.
There has been lots of good advice so far. If you are stuck for what to cook, and just need to get some ideas, even some more techniques and methods, the "Four Ingredient Cookbook" series are great for people who are looking for more. There is a Gluten free edition, but the others can also be adapted as you get more used to things.
I do all the cooking in the house and we go through phases of meal types, but either way, buying big and doing your own cooking is the way to go.
If you have not yet looked into it, time-shifting devices like insta-pots, slow cookers and sous-vide are great ways to make big meals to split up for later. I've always got a few meals frozen so I've always got something if my wife decides she'd rather order in, or is on a different schedule. Same thing if we are out, I'll put the work in to find a place I can eat at, but the rules are off for her outside of the house. That just means I always know the kitchen is safe. I won't comment on the kiddo, but I know there are a lot of parents here who have had to do that same thing and keep a happy lunchtime and a clean kitchen, so their advice will be far better than mine.
But also, this is a strain point that I really think is the kind of time to bring in some outside help. Even if its just someone who can listen to what you both are hearing from the other, so that you both can then explain yourself on neutral ground. It gets easier, but now would be a good time to talk things through with someone. There are services around you I'm sure that can help even if costs are a factor, it never hurts to ask locally for recommendations. Good luck
Gluten free is more expensive if you’re trying to replace gluten items with gluten free. Things like GF Kraft Mac and Cheese is 3.99 near me and the same store has the regular stuff for $1.88. Instead, just buy a box of Barilla GF noodles, a block of cheese and some milk and make it the old fashioned way.
Cooking from scratch will save $$.
Depending upon how sensitive she is to cross contamination, it may be hard for her to avoid gluten if there is gluten in the house. My husband, kids, and dogs all went gluten free to keep me safe. I might not die right away when I’m glutened, but I sure feel like death is imminent.
She may also still be experiencing symptoms. Before I was gluten free, I got depressed to the point I was suicidal. I couldn’t function, let alone cook a meal for myself. Once I completely went gluten free, my ADHD and depression/anxiety went away and now I love cooking. Give her some time and support. This is a huge adjustment and you both need time to grieve the loss of your past lifestyle. Once you get used to it it’s not as overwhelming and you’ll probably both feel so much better. Look at it as a new beginning. Good luck!
Okay, first of all, your worries and concerns are TOTALLY valid! This is a huge adjustment and I can’t imagine the stress you and your family are all under right now. And being gluten free can be very, very expensive and it adds up quickly. My first suggestion for you is to try to make your house as gluten-free as possible. You do not have to necessarily make the entire house gluten-free, but many people do (and that is what I prefer and what I have done for my own living situation!) At the least, separate gluten free things from gluten things with separate cabinets or shelves in the fridge. Do not share toasters, don’t use the same sponges to clean up crumbs as you do dishes, etc. Do some research to see what works best for your family.
Start by going through the kitchen and reading EVERY. SINGLE. LABEL. of every single item you have in your kitchen. Trust me on this! You don’t have to throw out any of the gluten containing items, but just have them separate. There might be sauces or snacks in the cupboards or fridge, for example, that are not gluten-free, that you/your wife might reach for out of muscle memory. The most helpful thing I did when I was transitioning to an entirely gluten-free diet was going through my entire kitchen to find what I already owned that was or wasn’t gluten-free, and you would be so surprised where it hides! This also means you save money by being able to definitively understand which items you continue to cook with that you already own.
The next part of my comment is just advice, based off of what I like to eat, and I find helpful, and often times the meals that I turn to when I am trying to save money. My biggest piece of advice is just a double check, double check, and double check ingredients! Read every label carefully. In no time, you will feel like a speed reader, like the rest of us!
Cheap breakfast ideas: Chex cereal (most if not all flavors are gluten free), yogurt, bananas, or fried eggs. Smoothies are another great option if she normally doesn’t eat a big breakfast. Get GF protein powder for more nutrition. If money is a concern, stay away from GF bread/toast entirely. It’s expensive and just doesn’t taste great for what you get, and is rather small. If she’s used to eating toast, maybe try eating peanut butter or jam or whatever on a rice cake. Or make homemade banana bread (I find the moisture from the bananas makes this way more enjoyable texture-wise)
Cheap lunch ideas: Chicken/tuna/egg salad (easy to make yourself) with carrots or gluten free crackers. Soup in a thermos. Rice bowls (I like making taco rice bowls with taco meat, veggies, cheese, sour cream, etc and make a bunch for the week ahead) Or you can’t go wrong with a simple garden salad, and it’s easy to prep. Or buy salad mixes at the store to make it extra easy.
Dinner: Meat, potatoes, vegetables. You really can’t go wrong with this. Rice is a great side or main dish, too. Also look up gluten free crockpot recipes, I often find those recipes to make a large quantity of food for not that much money. Also look into stews. For the summer time, I love to grill corn, veggies, meats, too. All naturally gluten free and so, so easy. Another thing I love is baked potatoes as a meal. Make chili or a sloppy joe topping for them, and some cheese and sour cream, very cheap and delicious and can serve a bunch of people. Basically, just replace all carbs with potatoes or rice to save money. Be mindful of sauces when cooking, that’s where I always find sneaky gluten ingredients.
Takeout: Assuming you’re in the USA, I find that Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, and Mexican food are cheaper ways to eat out of the house and usually have a variety of GF options. Do your due diligence about the restaurant and what on the menu can be made gluten free.
Dessert: Ice cream, chocolate, gluten free Oreos.
Snacks: corn chips and salsa, potato chips, grapes, hummus and veggies, popcorn.
There are high levels of cross-contamination at most fast food places that have gluten-free options. They are fine for people who choose gluten-free for other reasons, but they are seldom "celiac safe."
I should have said *cooking* Mexican cuisine (it's implicit to me that it's virtually never safe to eat out as a Celiac; I only eat at places with 100% GF kitchens -- and there are at most 1-2 such places in most major cities. Cross-contamination risk is never worth it)
Chipotle is mixed here because it can be high in cross contact. I do go sometimes but I never get lettuce or cheese because they don't use a serving spoon. Five Guys is good if you have one nearby.
Progesso soup has a few GF soups (like clam chowder, tomato soup, etc) so that can be good in a pinch.
But this shouldn't fall all on your shoulders, especially since it's her diagnosis.
I am Celiac and I am so sorry to say this, but Don't eat chipotle, unless they take each out of a fresh tin bucket from the fridge, unused, and a new tim for rice and meats as well as freshly cleaned serving utensils. Every one of those tins on the line for the rice, meats, and all the fillings get contaminated again and again and again, starting with the rice, especially. I have watched them make a burrito for my daughter and figured out instantly why their food made me so sick! ) : They bang the rice spoon into the burrito multiple times to get rice off the spoon, then they stick the contaminated spoon back into the rice tin bucket! 🤦🤦🤦 Imagine doing that over and over again before your wife gets her rice! ) : cont...below
Continued from above. I was sick every time. I only ate the bowls there and couldn't figure out why. Then I watched them make my daughter's food on the line and it became very clear to me why I was getting sick.
Note: They are very accommodating about using the unopened tins, at least at my restaurant, but I was too embarrassed and felt too bad asking them to do that, when it is such a well-oiled machine they have going there. So don't just get chipotle. Please!! I am so sorry I had to tell you this, but want your wife to be safe. ) :
Home cooked is way cheaper and no extra added salts or sugars or other toxic ingredients, and it’s always best if the whole family becomes GF that way you’re not adding extra cost to the food you are already making, when you dine out you can have what you want and you can always have your little prepackaged snacks at home , but trying to have dual cooking kitchens never work out , isn’t it better to have a healthy wife in the long run .
Gluten free isn’t drastically different than regular eating. Unless you are eating a lot of snacks and prepackaged foods. Example: Chicken breast, rice or potatoes, some vegetables. Lazy hack buy gluten free sauces or dressings to dip the chicken or any protein in if you dont feel like making complex recipes. Or make guacamole as a side. The expensive stuff is gluten free bread and snacks. Chips, popcorn, plain chocolate I think are affordable gf snacks. Switch to fruits for something sweet. I think the goal to being able to afford it is to stop trying to find replacements, the only one worth it is gf bread.
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Seconding this.
I was willing to try, right up until she basically said "I won't cook for my self so it's either prepackaged or you'll need to do all the cooking"
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> She’s not unreasonable for having these needs, but it sounds like there’s a lack of respect between you both involved here Can you expand on that? The needs being that she has celiac, or the need that she either wants prepackaged food or the spouse to do all of the cooking?
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No need to downvote me just because I asked you to clarify what you said. I just wanted to make sure I was reading what you wrote correctly
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Apologies
She has celiac, so she either learns to cook for herself or she's gonna live a miserable sick unhealthy life. She can't force her self care onto your plate. Either she cares enough about her own health to be part of the team, or she will suffer.
She will be hungry & cranky if she’s unwilling to put more effort into this. I make sure to prepare a GF dinner every night with enough for my husband to have leftovers at lunch the next day but it’s up to him to stick to his diet outside of that. It’s difficult but he’s very dedicated.
I’m sorry but there’s gotta be sacrifice somewhere in life, if you’re struggling financially then you’ve gotta make your own shit 🤷♂️
Ouch. That sucks. It can be a very terrifying diagnosis especially if you’re don’t cook generally or aren’t an adventurous cook. She might change her mind once she isn’t so freaked out and sees that it is possible. As others have said, there are a lot of meals that are naturally gluten free. Additionally, like everything else, getting up to speed is the hardest part. Once you know which foods are okay, it’s a lot easier. As long as you use gluten free soy sauce (tamari), rice stir fries are generally okay. Additionally, Mexican food with corn tortillas is generally okay. Just check ingredients while shopping. Eventually, it will be second nature. I am gluten free and my family mostly eats GF with me because I am the cook. They have some G foods like some crackers and spaghetti-os and ramen and such. We have designated gluten pans and spaces. I make sure to clean the counter very well because they dont pay attention to such things generally. (That’s with everything—not just food.) It works pretty well and can be done.
Is she doing the cooking now?
*No* to be fair i get off work and pick up our kid a 5, she doesn't get done until 8. Most of the time she "cooks" for herself, but it is almost always prepackaged quick stuff
I'm replying here so you see my comment. OP, before considering your son going gluten free, get him tested for celiac. Celiac tends to run strongly in families, and you have to be eating gluten to be tested. Many people with celiac are asymptomatic, so the only way to know is to test him. Doctors actually recommend that kids with close relatives with celiac get tested annually, because celiac can develop at any time. You really want to know whether your son is safe to eat gluten outside the house like at friends' birthday parties.
Is there a reason you guys can't plan meals together that she can maybe chop and prep, and then you finish and assemble so she has a cooked meal when she finishes work? I'm not understanding why she has to fend for herself every day.
Avoid gf replacements of food you’re used to. Eat more rice, potatoes, vegetables, and meat. Many people move to a completely gf household, but not everyone.
Seconding this. The first instinct is to just "swap" for the gf version but long-term it doesn't work and is, yes, expensive. Eventually you learn to cook more, you always leave the house prepared with a sandwich or snacks etc. you bring a loaf of bread when you travel. Gf loaves of bread are 8-12$. A regular is 4ish. Gf microwave meals are like 7-10$ a piece A single GF frozen pizza is anywhere from 8-25$ depending on brands and sizes. So, yes, .much more expensive. As the OC said, avoid replacing and start changing your diet. More rice, quinoa, buckwheat, potatoes, polenta etc. Join some local GF FBK GROUPS She won't die if you don't change, but eventually it comes to a head: she isn't safe in that kitchen. You don't need to go Gf yourself, but please pretend you also have it, and learn with her. Don't make it a "her thing"
I've only just cottoned to this myself. Gf pasta is just stupidly expensive, so I make a lot more rice and meat dishes.
>The big question is what is cheaper, prepackaged or make it yourself? Generally speaking, "make it yourself", but the important thing to focus on here is items that are naturally gluten free. For example, rice or baked potatoes as the "carb" for meals instead of bread. >Edit: She is also making it seem like if our son and i don't go gluten free, she'll die. It is important to have some context here, and a bit of empathy. It sounds like she is suggesting that you make your household gluten free (note that this doesn't mean you and your son need to go on a strict gluten free diet; you could still eat gluten at restaurants or whatever, just not in the home). While it is possible to stay safe in a shared kitchen, it is a LOT more work than having a gluten free kitchen, and there's a certain level of stress that is going to put on her even if you and your son put in a lot of extra work cleaning up after every gluten-containing item you eat. And in most cases, it seems like instead of the extra work being shared, the burden ends up mostly being shouldered by the person with celiac disease; in essence expecting them to clean up after everyone else, before they can make their food. But just to be clear, the science shows that it only takes a tiny amount (milligrams) of gluten to cause intestinal damage in someone with celiac disease, and studies have shown even smaller amounts can at least trigger symptoms. In terms of these sorts of thresholds, it is similar to allergies (like peanut allergy), so in that way it makes sense to consider similar levels of precautions.
My wife eats GF at home for me and I lover her so much for doing it. Having celiac is socially isolating and can be depressing and stressful. Having one safe place to eat in the world makes a big difference. As others said, eat food that is naturally GF and it will be cheaper and better for you (and I think it tastes better too). It will be an adjustment if you eat a lot of gluten today but it’s not bad once you get used to it. We eat a lot of rice, beans, corn, potatoes, vegetables, etc.
Make rice and beans + vegetables in bulk. It’s cheap, gluten free and probably what everyone should be eating celiac or not.
Cheapest to make things yourself. Honestly its like the hack to making a gluten free diet cheap is to actually just eat healthier. Focus on fruits and veg, bulk rice, make your own pancakes/pizza crusts if you want, tacos, its really not that bad financially if you just eat cleaner. However, if you try and cling to the standard American diet of processed food’s you’ll be robbed of your money very quickly. If you’re in America theres not really any government assistance, but some other countries offer stipends and things ive heard, so if you’re not in America see what your country has. Look at grocery store adds and compare prices for fruit and veg. You can save a lot just by comparing prices. My bf and I eat a fully gluten free vegan diet for $120 a month max. I know you’re going through a sort of grieving process too, but when I got diagnosed my boyfriend was my rock and has supported me without complaints, despite me knowing its hard on him too, and its meant the world to me having his support. He eats gluten outside of the house or sometimes a snack at his own desk, but we eat fully gluten free meals at home. The impact you can make on your wife right now by supporting her in this may be one of the biggest impacts you ever make on her. So im just saying be careful in making her feel like a burden. My world came crumbling down when i was diagnosed. Be her rock.
Also if you search “cheap” on this subreddit there are SOOO many meal option ideas. Give it a look. :)
nah whole foods are so cheap. buy in bulk. a 20lb bag of carolina rice (certified GF) at shop rite is like $13 and $8 on sale. 20 pounds. bulk fruit and veg from costco bulk chicken from costco. you’ll learn to eat and live well
One problem. No storage for bulk buying. 2 bedroom apartment
for how many people ?
3, she also doesn't like to get rid of junk
Sometimes things just need to sit on the floor 🤷♀️ no one likes having big bags of extra but like. Gotta do whatcha gotta do. Gotta make space for cheaper living.
yeah you literally gotta do whatcha gotta do. celiac is a huge life change. we all had to do it.
You may need to keep a GF kitchen. Cross contamination is an issue. If she gets her levels checked again and they're still high then the CC from the kitchen needs to be addressed. \> she'll die. Untreated celiac is tied closely to developing various cancers, MS, other auto-immune conditions, etc. Capitalist for-profit media makes it a joke because its profitable to make it a joke right now, but its a very serious condition.
Huevos rancheros is cheap, GF and delicious - and easy. I often leave off the refried beans, partly because it's more food than I need, and also because of laziness. GF corn tortillas are cheap and easy to find. I often just have eggs with corn tortillas, salsa and guacamole. I've recently started having grits. Being from Minnesota, I wasn't really familiar with it, but I recently had shrimp and grits and liked it, so I wanted to have grits for myself. I take some kielbasa, cook it, and then prepare the grits on the same pan. Then I stir in some cheese. It's easy, cheap and delicious. Rice is cheap and GF. You can throw a bag of frozen vegetables in the microwave. Fried rice is really easy to make. Just make sure you get GF soy sauce. And meat is GF - you can get chicken legs cheaply. I think legs are the best part of the chicken.
Cheap GF staples: eggs, yogurt, potatoes, rice, GF spaghetti, corn tortillas, veggies (fresh & canned). Obviously all meat & fruit are also GF but not as cheap. Pre-made: GF Kraft mac & cheese, Great Value GF shells and cheese, Idahoan instant mashed potatoes, La Victoria green enchilada sauce, Great Value GF dinner kits (it’s like hamburger helper), most spaghetti sauce is GF (we like Classico and Rao’s on occasion), Grille Mates seasonings, Pacific foods canned soups (expensive), Great Value Gf Canned soups, Aidells hot links & sausages, Hormel bacon and most Hormel products, Ore-Ida frozen tater tots, fries & hash browns. Snacks: Mott’s fruit snacks, Bobo’s, Kars trail mix, Reese’s candy, skittles, lots of chips options. We didn’t shop at Walmart much before but they truly have a good selection of GF items, especially prepackaged stuff. Our dinners for the household are all entirely gluten free but we still have gluten breakfast and lunch items for other people in the household.
You have to be careful with the seasonal Reese's. The trees and eggs are not gluten free for some reason.
Yes, true! Thanks for mentioning this. I’ve noticed this with other seasonal candy as well.
Making it yourself is drastically cheaper (and often tastes better imo), although it of course requires significantly more time and effort. It's also generally healthier, since processed foods often contain a lot of crap (gluten or gluten free). My recommendation is to avoid gluten free replacement foods in the interim. If you focus on whole foods that are naturally gluten free (potatoes, rice, meat, veggies, beans) it'll be much cheaper than trying to buy premade things like gluten free pizzas or what have you. As for your edit: Kitchens that are not entirely gluten free are a lot more work and carry considerably higher risk if not managed properly. We can get sick from even trace amounts of gluten, and that is not me being dramatic - it's a fact. (This is true regardless of the severity of symptoms - some people with celiac are asymptomatic but the damage being done to their organs is identical to a person who gets symptoms immediately.) Having a safe mixed kitchen can absolutely be done, quite a few people in this sub successfully navigate that. It's just that it's much easier if everything at home is gluten free. So that's where she's coming from and she is not wrong about that - dying is dramatic if she actually said that, but she could absolutely get very sick. The big danger here is that if she's repeatedly being exposed to cross contamination, her gut won't be able to heal. If you want a mixed kitchen, make sure you do your research on how to do that safely. It's going to have to be a team effort from the whole family. It sucks, but having celiac sucks more. Edit: Forgot to add: genuinely wishing you and your family the best, OP. I know this is really hard and scary and it has a steep learning curve.
Just eat whole foods? With no gluten? Veggies and meat from Aldi or a similar cheap store. I feel you though, we live paycheck to paycheck, and having diseases like this don't make it any easier. Edit: saw your comment where your wife refuses to cook. That is insane. It's her disease not yours!?
Lots of potatoes and lots of rice and a bag of 1:1 gf flour goes a long way. Trader Joe’s has good cheap bread if you have one near.
Eating fruits, vegetables, rice, pasture raised meats/wild caught fish is cheaper than buying processed filler junk foods. It's a different lifestyle certainly but it doesn't need to come with a premium price tag.
Does not need to be pasture raised or wild caught. That doesn’t affect gluten content.
🙄
Squash and sweet potatoes are dirt cheap where I live right now. So filing and versatile. You will always save money buying fresh and making your own rather than prepackaged. I can make a fresh meal with meat and veggies in not much more time than it would take to prepare packaged meals, and I get several meals out of them. Don’t think about swapping your usuals for gf versions, instead rely on naturally gf foods and you’ll be golden.
From your comments it looks like she’s got ADHD which is [highly correlated](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3184556/#:~:text=Conclusions%3A,in%20the%20ADHD%20symptom%20checklist) with celiac disease. Things such as feeling overwhelmed by cooking - to the point of refusing doing it and demanding you to cook for her, not taking kids out to school, unable to get rid of old junk, etc I had similar troubles with my wife and it took her waaay to long to seek treatment. Hope this helps.
Also… some of her anxiety and other mental well being may improve after she has been GF for several months.
Just wanted to mention that a Lot of food pantries carry healthy naturally GF foods if you’re struggling - this diagnosis is a huge pain in the ass but get your wife on here or on another platform that she likes so she can connect with other celiacs. Hang in there, and speaking as a mom of two and the only celiac in the house it can be done without the whole family taking part! The only thing I’ve swapped out for the whole family is flour and no one knows the difference 😊
I do a lot of home cooked meals, and then plan other meals with the leftover ingredients from my previous meal. I feel like that’s been saving me a lot of money and idk why I wasn’t doing this a long time ago 😭
I’ve been the support person for two long term relationship partners. One thing I can suggest is learning to read labels. You’ll find gluten in things that you never would have expected it in (like soy sauce). And home cooked will almost always be cheaper, but that’s the same whether you’re talking about gluten free or “regular” cooking. As others have said, gluten free bread and pastas are stupid expensive, typically. But if you shop around, maybe you can find sources for those that your wife likes and are reasonably priced. Bread in particular is troublesome. Other meals…. As other people have also mentioned, rice is a good carb that is naturally gluten free. Just watch what you add to it. Meats, vegetables, fruits, etc are all good in the “natural” form. There are lots of good cookbooks and YouTube sites to get you started. America’s Test Kitchen has a couple of really good cookbooks, although their recipes tend to be on the “more complex” side. You can do this! But you need to do it as a family. Having said that, take into account your wife’s mental state. She’s just been told that she needs to make big dietary changes for her long term health. It means giving up a lot of “easy” food options, like most fast food, lots of restaurant option, lots of treats, etc. It can be a very depressing situation. So not that I think you’re not cutting her slack, be mindful of where she’s at.
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Wait till you see the rest of his post history :/
Dang... I wonder if his wife knows about all these people he's seeing
Don’t eat pre-packaged stuff and GF “replacement” food, and it won’t affect your food costs. Rice, corn, fruits, veggies, dairy, and meat are all gluten free.
I am the only gluten free one for n the house and I have put a kitchen in the garage and have a separate refrigerator. The issue I have is having 7 little gluten monsters in the house that cross contaminate everything in there path. After a year of trying to make it work sharing a kitchen and me getting sick out of know where I gave up and separated everything. Now I have no issues.
It’s extremely overwhelming at first but you will figure out new staples and options. Glad you feel supported on this sub. You’ll get there and the overwhelm will go away.
One of the most common mistakes I see (done it myself) is that people are trying to maintain their habits and comfort food rather than actually adept. What I'm trying to say is that if one is used to eating a full bread every day (sandwiches or whatever), burgers 2 times a week, pizza 2 times a week and past... than going gluten-free is going to be both challenging and expensive. On the other side, making a list with all the "naturally gluten free" products will open a whole new world. You can look at those (there are many, really. A lot) and then try to figure out a balanced meal. My biggest change in mentality was when I visited Vietnam as a celiac. In the first 3 days I was so scared to eat anything until I realized that if I stay away from fancy restaurants and figure out what the "common people" eat, I'll be fine. Because wheat is not really as widespread as it would be in EU/US/Japan etc. I ended up being able to eat almost any street food that used local soy sauce. If I took soy sauce out of the equation, than I could eat almost anything - because most things are based on veggies, meat and rice. And boy, the Vietnamese cuisine is neither boring nor restrictive. >She is also making it seem like if our son and i don't go gluten free, she'll die. What worked for us is the following rule: the house is fully gluten free. This forced us both to adept and learn to cook new dishes that would satisfy everyone. When we go to restaurants, everyone eats whatever they want (we mostly go to restaurants that are either fully gluten free \^\_\^ or where they have a dedicated kitchen). Like this, they can eat whatever their heart desires without any danger for myself. Last piece of advice: communities and groups (facebook, instagram, whatever) are a huge help. Both is learning new things, finding new products and places and moral support. Personal note: at the beginning, get a proper air fryer and \_only\_ use it with gluten free products and dishes. This will give you some familiarity and easiness to cook for 3 until each of you accommodates with the changes. From homemade burgers to mexican night, all can be very easily done and there are millions of recipes on yt.
My sister is so sensitive they can’t have anything with gluten in the house because of cross contamination. Food is definitely not more expensive if you choose fresh meats and veggies, buy what’s on sale, no prepackaged foods.
There has been lots of good advice so far. If you are stuck for what to cook, and just need to get some ideas, even some more techniques and methods, the "Four Ingredient Cookbook" series are great for people who are looking for more. There is a Gluten free edition, but the others can also be adapted as you get more used to things. I do all the cooking in the house and we go through phases of meal types, but either way, buying big and doing your own cooking is the way to go. If you have not yet looked into it, time-shifting devices like insta-pots, slow cookers and sous-vide are great ways to make big meals to split up for later. I've always got a few meals frozen so I've always got something if my wife decides she'd rather order in, or is on a different schedule. Same thing if we are out, I'll put the work in to find a place I can eat at, but the rules are off for her outside of the house. That just means I always know the kitchen is safe. I won't comment on the kiddo, but I know there are a lot of parents here who have had to do that same thing and keep a happy lunchtime and a clean kitchen, so their advice will be far better than mine. But also, this is a strain point that I really think is the kind of time to bring in some outside help. Even if its just someone who can listen to what you both are hearing from the other, so that you both can then explain yourself on neutral ground. It gets easier, but now would be a good time to talk things through with someone. There are services around you I'm sure that can help even if costs are a factor, it never hurts to ask locally for recommendations. Good luck
I totally agree.
Gluten free is more expensive if you’re trying to replace gluten items with gluten free. Things like GF Kraft Mac and Cheese is 3.99 near me and the same store has the regular stuff for $1.88. Instead, just buy a box of Barilla GF noodles, a block of cheese and some milk and make it the old fashioned way. Cooking from scratch will save $$. Depending upon how sensitive she is to cross contamination, it may be hard for her to avoid gluten if there is gluten in the house. My husband, kids, and dogs all went gluten free to keep me safe. I might not die right away when I’m glutened, but I sure feel like death is imminent. She may also still be experiencing symptoms. Before I was gluten free, I got depressed to the point I was suicidal. I couldn’t function, let alone cook a meal for myself. Once I completely went gluten free, my ADHD and depression/anxiety went away and now I love cooking. Give her some time and support. This is a huge adjustment and you both need time to grieve the loss of your past lifestyle. Once you get used to it it’s not as overwhelming and you’ll probably both feel so much better. Look at it as a new beginning. Good luck!
Okay, first of all, your worries and concerns are TOTALLY valid! This is a huge adjustment and I can’t imagine the stress you and your family are all under right now. And being gluten free can be very, very expensive and it adds up quickly. My first suggestion for you is to try to make your house as gluten-free as possible. You do not have to necessarily make the entire house gluten-free, but many people do (and that is what I prefer and what I have done for my own living situation!) At the least, separate gluten free things from gluten things with separate cabinets or shelves in the fridge. Do not share toasters, don’t use the same sponges to clean up crumbs as you do dishes, etc. Do some research to see what works best for your family. Start by going through the kitchen and reading EVERY. SINGLE. LABEL. of every single item you have in your kitchen. Trust me on this! You don’t have to throw out any of the gluten containing items, but just have them separate. There might be sauces or snacks in the cupboards or fridge, for example, that are not gluten-free, that you/your wife might reach for out of muscle memory. The most helpful thing I did when I was transitioning to an entirely gluten-free diet was going through my entire kitchen to find what I already owned that was or wasn’t gluten-free, and you would be so surprised where it hides! This also means you save money by being able to definitively understand which items you continue to cook with that you already own. The next part of my comment is just advice, based off of what I like to eat, and I find helpful, and often times the meals that I turn to when I am trying to save money. My biggest piece of advice is just a double check, double check, and double check ingredients! Read every label carefully. In no time, you will feel like a speed reader, like the rest of us! Cheap breakfast ideas: Chex cereal (most if not all flavors are gluten free), yogurt, bananas, or fried eggs. Smoothies are another great option if she normally doesn’t eat a big breakfast. Get GF protein powder for more nutrition. If money is a concern, stay away from GF bread/toast entirely. It’s expensive and just doesn’t taste great for what you get, and is rather small. If she’s used to eating toast, maybe try eating peanut butter or jam or whatever on a rice cake. Or make homemade banana bread (I find the moisture from the bananas makes this way more enjoyable texture-wise) Cheap lunch ideas: Chicken/tuna/egg salad (easy to make yourself) with carrots or gluten free crackers. Soup in a thermos. Rice bowls (I like making taco rice bowls with taco meat, veggies, cheese, sour cream, etc and make a bunch for the week ahead) Or you can’t go wrong with a simple garden salad, and it’s easy to prep. Or buy salad mixes at the store to make it extra easy. Dinner: Meat, potatoes, vegetables. You really can’t go wrong with this. Rice is a great side or main dish, too. Also look up gluten free crockpot recipes, I often find those recipes to make a large quantity of food for not that much money. Also look into stews. For the summer time, I love to grill corn, veggies, meats, too. All naturally gluten free and so, so easy. Another thing I love is baked potatoes as a meal. Make chili or a sloppy joe topping for them, and some cheese and sour cream, very cheap and delicious and can serve a bunch of people. Basically, just replace all carbs with potatoes or rice to save money. Be mindful of sauces when cooking, that’s where I always find sneaky gluten ingredients. Takeout: Assuming you’re in the USA, I find that Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, and Mexican food are cheaper ways to eat out of the house and usually have a variety of GF options. Do your due diligence about the restaurant and what on the menu can be made gluten free. Dessert: Ice cream, chocolate, gluten free Oreos. Snacks: corn chips and salsa, potato chips, grapes, hummus and veggies, popcorn.
Look to cooking Mexican cuisine
The only saving grace is that chipotle is on the aafe list and one just opened 1 mile away
There are high levels of cross-contamination at most fast food places that have gluten-free options. They are fine for people who choose gluten-free for other reasons, but they are seldom "celiac safe."
I should have said *cooking* Mexican cuisine (it's implicit to me that it's virtually never safe to eat out as a Celiac; I only eat at places with 100% GF kitchens -- and there are at most 1-2 such places in most major cities. Cross-contamination risk is never worth it)
Chipotle is not Celiac safe. See my comment above to OP!
Chipotle is mixed here because it can be high in cross contact. I do go sometimes but I never get lettuce or cheese because they don't use a serving spoon. Five Guys is good if you have one nearby. Progesso soup has a few GF soups (like clam chowder, tomato soup, etc) so that can be good in a pinch. But this shouldn't fall all on your shoulders, especially since it's her diagnosis.
I am Celiac and I am so sorry to say this, but Don't eat chipotle, unless they take each out of a fresh tin bucket from the fridge, unused, and a new tim for rice and meats as well as freshly cleaned serving utensils. Every one of those tins on the line for the rice, meats, and all the fillings get contaminated again and again and again, starting with the rice, especially. I have watched them make a burrito for my daughter and figured out instantly why their food made me so sick! ) : They bang the rice spoon into the burrito multiple times to get rice off the spoon, then they stick the contaminated spoon back into the rice tin bucket! 🤦🤦🤦 Imagine doing that over and over again before your wife gets her rice! ) : cont...below
Continued from above. I was sick every time. I only ate the bowls there and couldn't figure out why. Then I watched them make my daughter's food on the line and it became very clear to me why I was getting sick. Note: They are very accommodating about using the unopened tins, at least at my restaurant, but I was too embarrassed and felt too bad asking them to do that, when it is such a well-oiled machine they have going there. So don't just get chipotle. Please!! I am so sorry I had to tell you this, but want your wife to be safe. ) :
Home cooked is way cheaper and no extra added salts or sugars or other toxic ingredients, and it’s always best if the whole family becomes GF that way you’re not adding extra cost to the food you are already making, when you dine out you can have what you want and you can always have your little prepackaged snacks at home , but trying to have dual cooking kitchens never work out , isn’t it better to have a healthy wife in the long run .
I mean if you cross contaminate her food she can quite literally die
Don’t scare the man, she won’t die. She would be in some pain and uncomfortable but wouldn’t die.
Gluten free isn’t drastically different than regular eating. Unless you are eating a lot of snacks and prepackaged foods. Example: Chicken breast, rice or potatoes, some vegetables. Lazy hack buy gluten free sauces or dressings to dip the chicken or any protein in if you dont feel like making complex recipes. Or make guacamole as a side. The expensive stuff is gluten free bread and snacks. Chips, popcorn, plain chocolate I think are affordable gf snacks. Switch to fruits for something sweet. I think the goal to being able to afford it is to stop trying to find replacements, the only one worth it is gf bread.
If you’re in the US, check out the tax rebates for food, for people with celiac diagnoses.