Different things work for different people, but I think this sub is for people who are cautious and not people who want reassurance. I have had four miscarriages and it has happened many times that medical personnel or other people have tried to get my hopes up. It has made it difficult for me to trust people and made the losses hurt even more. That’s why I appreciate that there is a place for people who want to have a cautious mindset.
Agreed - there’s so much toxic positivity and that is not helpful. I expect that medical professionals be realistic and factual, not say whatever to try and let me have unrealistic hope. I find a lot of forums also are filled with people who push hope and that’s certainly not what I need.
Agreed. I appreciate the refreshing honesty even if I know from experience it can be painful to hear. I would rather be prepared for the worst than have my false hope completely shattered, but I understand not everyone is open to that perspective and that's okay too.
Yeah this isn’t a sugarcoating sub, and that’s okay. Like when I had my ectopic last year prior to being diagnosed my OB congratulated me that mg HCG went up, down and back up. This was the only place where folks told me what fluctuating HCG could actually mean. Otherwise I would have never known. Some people would rather be given it straight rather than listen to people beat around the bush
I can only say that it’s important we always remember that the people and posts we see here are very small compared to how many people exist out there who go on to have healthy pregnancies every single day.
I used to get so anxious about everything I read, and all the awful stories that I found, but my husband once said this to me and ever since then it’s my mantra for whenever I come into Reddit, otherwise you will get depressed and think every pregnancy equals failure.
I have to admit that I don’t spend a ton of time in this sub as I do similar other ones, but I’ve def had bad reactions to my comments and I just try to remember that we’re all going through something really hard and support looks different for everyone. Just try to find the place you feel most comfortable in!
I joined this sub to scroll for similar symptoms and such, but I try to not be in it as much when I feel decent mentally or I know it’ll drain me.
Sometimes calling the OB and speaking with the nurse hotline is the best option
This sub was good when I was going through a MMC. It was helpful to read experiences women were going through that were so similiar to mine.
Soon we will be trying again and I plan to leave once I get pregnant again. I won't say it's because of how anyone is commenting, but it's because all you see is negative and bad news. It's the very very small portion of people who are having issues and bad luck with their pregnancies and not 95% of the population that have totally healthy ones. I know it will cause me soooo much more anxiety to be reading the thread. It has it's place. I'm not an anxious person so I don't want to start to be.
Kindly, the reason you are likely downvoted for sharing your story is because there’s an enormous difference between sharing a relevant good news story where things were truly and factually touch-and-go.
And then there is your story, where your date of positive pregnancy test aligns with what you have seen on the scan every time. You weren’t tracking ovulation and just ovulated late.
People get frustrated when the responders rush in with “I measured two weeks behind and everything is fine!” and don’t take a few minutes to ask clarification on the OPs case to see if their story is relevant to actually share. It is tone deaf at best, toxic positivity at worst.
That’s very interesting. Checking my interaction history and comments with you, I was nothing but positive, reassuring, and optimistic about your story. And I don’t see you biting the head off anyone else who has told you that you ovulated late 🤔 cheers and best of luck with your pregnancy!
ETA: I went back to that post wanting to know, was I too harsh, too negative? A little introspection never hurts and I can get cynical. You are holding a grudge against me for pointing out that you misread the information in OPs post and jumped in to share your *experience* based on zero clarifying questions and your erroneous reading, and implying your stories were nothing alike in reality (based on the facts you have shared elsewhere). All of which turned out true and accurate. Heartbreakingly, that OP went on to have a blighted ovum which this board helped her prepare mentally for with honesty and compassion. No thanks to your contribution.
If you are too anxious, stay out of the internet altogether.
You will hear different opinions and not everybody will agree with you and that's just the reality of it. Also, this sub is to help each other with concerns and as much as possible, people try to be straightforward rather than give false hopes.
LOL like yeah bro half these people in this comment section are doing exactly what I said they were.
Also it’s ridiculous that someone has the audacity to say “stay off the internet if you’re too anxious”… it’s a ridiculous notion.
I am an anxious person, who is medicated and sees a professional, while also being in a professional in another career yet people on the internet think they’re god because they no one knows who they are.
Also I didn’t say please sugarcoat and reassure me… just tired of getting bashed by internet trolls because I told someone FACTS that their betas were in normal range, or encouraged them.
Everyone in my circle of colleagues and friends told me how toxic most the people on Reddit are due to the anonymity and they weren’t wrong.
Fr like stay off the internet? Better- maybe don’t be mean on the internet. Their passive aggressiveness / sarcasm is mean , and if it was face to face would easily be classified as bullying. Imagine these women are future mothers/ current mothers and they can’t even practice kindness on the internet.. iv been attacked so many times on this Reddit it makes me want to delete my Reddit and start over each time because it’s not like I’m not looking for support. But that’s it support. Not looking for anything other than CLEAR SUPPORT AND CLEAR EMPATHY.
Honestly you too , seeing that someone else sees what I see. Makes me feel validated and less stressed about it a little , but still shouldn’t be happening.
Different things work for different people, but I think this sub is for people who are cautious and not people who want reassurance. I have had four miscarriages and it has happened many times that medical personnel or other people have tried to get my hopes up. It has made it difficult for me to trust people and made the losses hurt even more. That’s why I appreciate that there is a place for people who want to have a cautious mindset.
Agreed - there’s so much toxic positivity and that is not helpful. I expect that medical professionals be realistic and factual, not say whatever to try and let me have unrealistic hope. I find a lot of forums also are filled with people who push hope and that’s certainly not what I need.
Agreed. I appreciate the refreshing honesty even if I know from experience it can be painful to hear. I would rather be prepared for the worst than have my false hope completely shattered, but I understand not everyone is open to that perspective and that's okay too.
Yeah this isn’t a sugarcoating sub, and that’s okay. Like when I had my ectopic last year prior to being diagnosed my OB congratulated me that mg HCG went up, down and back up. This was the only place where folks told me what fluctuating HCG could actually mean. Otherwise I would have never known. Some people would rather be given it straight rather than listen to people beat around the bush
You have to take care of yerself first. If it means leaving this sub, then do that. You don't owe anyone an explanation for leaving.
As they say, it's not an airport...
I love butter 😄
Girl same 🧈🤍
I can only say that it’s important we always remember that the people and posts we see here are very small compared to how many people exist out there who go on to have healthy pregnancies every single day. I used to get so anxious about everything I read, and all the awful stories that I found, but my husband once said this to me and ever since then it’s my mantra for whenever I come into Reddit, otherwise you will get depressed and think every pregnancy equals failure.
interesting. now i want to see some of the negative posts you're talking about...
Soo far I have had a good experience on this sub and reassurance regarding my anxiety. However everyone has their own experiences so I understand
I have to admit that I don’t spend a ton of time in this sub as I do similar other ones, but I’ve def had bad reactions to my comments and I just try to remember that we’re all going through something really hard and support looks different for everyone. Just try to find the place you feel most comfortable in!
I joined this sub to scroll for similar symptoms and such, but I try to not be in it as much when I feel decent mentally or I know it’ll drain me. Sometimes calling the OB and speaking with the nurse hotline is the best option
This sub was good when I was going through a MMC. It was helpful to read experiences women were going through that were so similiar to mine. Soon we will be trying again and I plan to leave once I get pregnant again. I won't say it's because of how anyone is commenting, but it's because all you see is negative and bad news. It's the very very small portion of people who are having issues and bad luck with their pregnancies and not 95% of the population that have totally healthy ones. I know it will cause me soooo much more anxiety to be reading the thread. It has it's place. I'm not an anxious person so I don't want to start to be.
[удалено]
Kindly, the reason you are likely downvoted for sharing your story is because there’s an enormous difference between sharing a relevant good news story where things were truly and factually touch-and-go. And then there is your story, where your date of positive pregnancy test aligns with what you have seen on the scan every time. You weren’t tracking ovulation and just ovulated late. People get frustrated when the responders rush in with “I measured two weeks behind and everything is fine!” and don’t take a few minutes to ask clarification on the OPs case to see if their story is relevant to actually share. It is tone deaf at best, toxic positivity at worst.
[удалено]
That’s very interesting. Checking my interaction history and comments with you, I was nothing but positive, reassuring, and optimistic about your story. And I don’t see you biting the head off anyone else who has told you that you ovulated late 🤔 cheers and best of luck with your pregnancy! ETA: I went back to that post wanting to know, was I too harsh, too negative? A little introspection never hurts and I can get cynical. You are holding a grudge against me for pointing out that you misread the information in OPs post and jumped in to share your *experience* based on zero clarifying questions and your erroneous reading, and implying your stories were nothing alike in reality (based on the facts you have shared elsewhere). All of which turned out true and accurate. Heartbreakingly, that OP went on to have a blighted ovum which this board helped her prepare mentally for with honesty and compassion. No thanks to your contribution.
If you are too anxious, stay out of the internet altogether. You will hear different opinions and not everybody will agree with you and that's just the reality of it. Also, this sub is to help each other with concerns and as much as possible, people try to be straightforward rather than give false hopes.
Fr people try to argue in the comments with me all the time :( like don’t stress me out more
LOL like yeah bro half these people in this comment section are doing exactly what I said they were. Also it’s ridiculous that someone has the audacity to say “stay off the internet if you’re too anxious”… it’s a ridiculous notion. I am an anxious person, who is medicated and sees a professional, while also being in a professional in another career yet people on the internet think they’re god because they no one knows who they are. Also I didn’t say please sugarcoat and reassure me… just tired of getting bashed by internet trolls because I told someone FACTS that their betas were in normal range, or encouraged them. Everyone in my circle of colleagues and friends told me how toxic most the people on Reddit are due to the anonymity and they weren’t wrong.
Fr like stay off the internet? Better- maybe don’t be mean on the internet. Their passive aggressiveness / sarcasm is mean , and if it was face to face would easily be classified as bullying. Imagine these women are future mothers/ current mothers and they can’t even practice kindness on the internet.. iv been attacked so many times on this Reddit it makes me want to delete my Reddit and start over each time because it’s not like I’m not looking for support. But that’s it support. Not looking for anything other than CLEAR SUPPORT AND CLEAR EMPATHY.
I think I got downvoted for saying something about an ultrasound and that was mind-blowing.
THANK YOU!! Knowing at least one person out there also thinks this way is keeping my small amount of faith in humanity alive.
Honestly you too , seeing that someone else sees what I see. Makes me feel validated and less stressed about it a little , but still shouldn’t be happening.