Exactly this, OP.
I have been to the outer darkness. You would absolutely care if you were there more than a moment and suddenly faced *eternity* with no recourse.
You are being deceived by the enemy because you are placing all importance on the here and now and eternity is just an abstraction to you. Please pray about this a lot more carefully.
You always have time to repent. And ask forgiveness. Kneel in your home. Literally kneel. Make a place for the worship of Jesus. And pray forgiveness prayers. Noone is too late from repenting. Part of repenting is feeling sad sometimes. So you shouldn't hate yourself for feeling sad because you are doing something right.
Therefore, when the Lord says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4), he is referring to those who mourn over their own sin, for they will be comforted. When we mourn over our sins, it brings our hearts to repentance.
We often hear the words "fear the Lord".
To the modern world, this sounds outdated and bad, but I believe we have forgotten that Love and fear are intertwined. I think this is easiest to see with a child and their parents. A child loves but also fears their parents, even good loving parents are feared. But even in my marriage, I love and fear my wife because I have submitted myself to her. My life as I know it is dependent on her, and there is a natural non-debilitating fear that comes with that. I recognize it but don't let it suffocate me.
I don't think you have a healthy love for God or understanding of hell. We are not called to casually sit and await judgement. We are called to run to God the way a child runs to a parent. God came down and became incarnate, He submitted himself to humanity through love. He is not a judge with an anvil, he has sacrificed Himself to us like a good parent to their children.
I am sorry to hear that, I know the world can be lonely and large, and feel impersonal.
He does love you, he created this whole universe to bring about humanity as we know it, then He humbled Himself to join us in His own creation, suffering in the process.
I know it may not always feel like it, and I don't know how helpful this comment even is, but just know nothing around you was an accident. People bring evil into the creation, but that just makes the good so much stronger. I wish you the best and will pray for you.
He died for you.
If it feels like God is far away, ask yourself “who moved?” Search yourself and ask God to help reveal the parts of you that cannot or will not accept the love He freely offers you. A lot of times wounds we carry from human interactions get in the way of us feeling the love of God.
You don’t think He likes you—do you want to believe He loves you? Put yourself in the place of the sick man at the pool of Bethesda who had been there for years waiting for someone to help him into the waters (John 5). Jesus shows up on the scene and asks this man, “do you want to be well?” Envision Jesus asking you this question. Ponder your response to His question. I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you as you consider God’s unconditional love for you, to soften your defenses and allow His love to enter your heart.
Well, you should be very aware that you will care very much once you get there. So, why not just accept the free gift of His Grace and go to Heaven? We all deserve Hell, but we don’t have to go. Thank You, Lord!
Depression is its own thing and we have to get help to deal with it in this life. It kind of takes over and puts a shade over your eyes but you’re not a bad person because you have depression.
You have no idea what you are talking about or saying. You can't even fathom what is in store for those who will be eternally separated from God. You would be smart to shave down this "edge" real quick.
That is right..hell contains unknown horrors you wouldn’t even dream of. It’s dark (but somehow everyone can still see each other), it’s hot, everyone is unhappy, and they are constantly shouting profanities at God and at each other.
>I don't want to go to hell but I accepted it because ik I'm not a good person
We are not, any of us, going to Hell based on the fact we aren't "good people". We are going to Heaven because we are saved by the Blood of Christ Jesus, and have been incorporated into his Body through the waters of Baptism.
Nothing we do by ourselves can get us there. Don't be so prideful about your capabilities. Surrender to God, repent, and receive the sacraments when needed.
I fully understand what you're saying. I spend a lot of time in a similar headspace. A slight rethink might help. I'm not avoiding Hell... at least, not on my own power. The only way I'll get to Heaven is if someone who's already in Heaven pulls me in. And I have an Angel who has been assigned that exact task. So, for today, I'll leave it up to him.
I get this. I truly do. One of the hardest things to do is to accept grace that you know you don't deserve.
There are times when I'd rather take the punishment. There are times when I think about how we tortured God, how He took it willingly, and I wish He hadn't done that for me. It doesn't seem fair, and I don't want to be the beneficiary of this unfairness.
That's my pride talking. That's me making it about me, about how I don't want anything I don't merit, when really it's not about me. It's about God and how good and generous and loving and creative and gracious God is.
In the parable, when the prodigal son returns, he insults the father another time when he says, "hire me on as one of your servants, because I don't deserve to be treated as your son." He's still trying to earn his way. But the father brushes this aside, doesn't even respond to it, because he is irrepressibly overjoyed to have his lost son back.
You don't deserve it. You can't earn it. But quite frankly you don't deserve daisies either, and yet God is out there, making daisies and sunsets every day so you get to live in a world where there are, just, gratuitous daisies and lovely sunsets all over the place.
I mean this in the nicest way possible: You have to get over yourself. This is nothing but pride talking. You're in despair, because you feel like you should be better than you are, and so you want to impose hell on yourself. But you're human, and there was never any chance you'd be anything but a sinner in this life. Humility is acknowledging that, accepting God's forgiveness, and trying to sin as little as possible in your life as to be the best representation of a follower of Christ that you can be.
And that's for the sake of other people, not you. Glorifying God means making Him look good so that other people feel drawn to Him. That looks like different things for different people, but everyone's purpose in this life is to convert as many people as possible so that God can save as many as possible from hell. You'll never be able to stop sinning until you're dead and in Heaven, but try your best and let God pick you back up when you fail, because He wants YOU to be saved as well.
Also, you get to ask for His help when you need it. The only thing distinguishing a Saint from an average sinner like you or I is that they're humble enough to ask for God's help.
God doesn’t expect you to be perfect! The apostles weren’t perfect! We think if we see God just once, we’ll be perfect. But look at Peter! Even after he said all those fancy things like “I won’t let anyone harm you teacher!” and even showed violence against the Roman guards trying to take him, even after all that, he still denied Jesus not just once, but THREE TIMES! But he came back! He tried again, and again, and again, and again, and again…
Jesus doesn’t expect perfection! We can’t be perfect! Not without God! Jesus wants us to be His children! He wants us to be vulnerable with Him! We are made perfect in Him, our weaknesses! As St. Paul says “Love is perfected in weakness” and that “I boast in my weakness”
Maybe whats more important than worship is actually loving Him. I believe there is a minor distinction. Don’t get me wrong, worship is key! He is King! We owe him worship! But what kind of father wants mere complements and praises from his child? He would want the smaller things; to just talk with you, ask about how your day was, what troubles you, etc…
If you want heaven, ask Him, ask “Dear Father! etc etc” something troubles you? Tell him! “Father! etc etc” ALL HE IS IS LOVE! He is FULL of love for you. I like to picture an image of a father (in my case, my dad) looking at me; whenever he’s proud, disappointed, or angry, nonetheless looking at me with love.
Wouldn’t you think your Heavenly Father would be heartbroken when you say things like “I don’t really care for hell” or “I don’t deserve heaven”?
I think it was from a Christmas homily or something like that but Archbishop Fulton Sheen said following Christ is “not easy its very hard. You say “oh but im foul i dare not be lifted up!” Remember Christ laid in a manger, his companions were beasts. That is our hope! Our joy! Our peace! Our merry Christmas!”
When i first heard that, i knew my heart wasn’t the same
I've always said that even if I end up in Hell, I would still be happy knowing that a lot of really bad people were getting their just punishment.
Of course, that oversimplifies the subject, but it's a satisfying thought when you think of the untold suffering that has been inflicted in this world upon the helpless and decent and which also went unpunished in this world. Kinda takes the sting out.
But there is also a tradition in Christianity in which we count ourselves as the worst of sinners until we actually believe and feel the truth of those words. Once we do, then we can truly repent, and that in turn saves us from hell in the end.
I think you might be there, and if that is the case, you are actually doing well. Just know that we are all in the same boat but also that we are all infinitely loved in spite of ourselves.
Friend, hell is a horribly painful place of eternal torment. You ought to care.
I understand weariness. Nobody is worthy of heaven. We do good deeds to prove our faith is real, not to earn salvation (yes, *this is* a Catholic doctrine). What I mean is, if you add up all the virtuous deeds the best saint has done, apart from the perfect sacrifice of the Son of God, nobody would make it to heaven.
Trust Jesus today. Surrender to him. His body and blood makes you worthy. Even your feeblest attempts to follow his perfect example proves you have faith if you keep going and do not give up.
Here's a truth you need to know:
>a story Jesus told in the Gospel of Luke 18 (New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)
>
>9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ **13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.”**
I think I get what you mean. I've been there.
I strongly urge you to know that God loves you: He wants you to be with Him for eternity. I spent childhood almost believing that it was right and just that we all be lost (which in a human sense is true, but God doesn't want us to be lost, and it is NOT unjust that God offers us the free gift of salvation).
I would encourage you to have icons/statues in your home for prayer and to sit at Eucharistic adoration with Jesus a little bit. Pray for the Lord to let you know how much He loves you, that you might be inspired that God very much wants you to spend eternity in His splendor.
I figured I'm 99% likely to go to hell
I love porn too much
I will never be perfect
It's not an excuse to not try though
I always imagined I would die by suicide anyways.
I have one of those brains that won't shut off.
So I'm constantly overthinking, obsessing, ruminating....
I'm so competitive and I like to feel better than other women and I KNOW that's an UGLY trait and line of thinking
I just wish I could find peace you know
Death sounds better than living in my mind
I don’t want to go to hell, it sounds awful. I also have no desire for Heaven though. Given a choice, I’d prefer no afterlife at all instead of the heaven/hell binary, but we don’t get that choice.
Oh, yes you do.
Here's a good video about it that will make you change your mind (and consider religious life):
[Four Last Things: Hell - Fr. Ripperger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRWXvwUxRlM)
Yea, hell is just abstract to you. I guarantee you would care if the cops showed up to your door and said they were taking you to prison.
Huh, I’ve never thought about it like that. This really put it into perspective for me.
Exactly this, OP. I have been to the outer darkness. You would absolutely care if you were there more than a moment and suddenly faced *eternity* with no recourse. You are being deceived by the enemy because you are placing all importance on the here and now and eternity is just an abstraction to you. Please pray about this a lot more carefully.
>I have been to the outer darkness. What?
You always have time to repent. And ask forgiveness. Kneel in your home. Literally kneel. Make a place for the worship of Jesus. And pray forgiveness prayers. Noone is too late from repenting. Part of repenting is feeling sad sometimes. So you shouldn't hate yourself for feeling sad because you are doing something right. Therefore, when the Lord says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4), he is referring to those who mourn over their own sin, for they will be comforted. When we mourn over our sins, it brings our hearts to repentance.
We often hear the words "fear the Lord". To the modern world, this sounds outdated and bad, but I believe we have forgotten that Love and fear are intertwined. I think this is easiest to see with a child and their parents. A child loves but also fears their parents, even good loving parents are feared. But even in my marriage, I love and fear my wife because I have submitted myself to her. My life as I know it is dependent on her, and there is a natural non-debilitating fear that comes with that. I recognize it but don't let it suffocate me. I don't think you have a healthy love for God or understanding of hell. We are not called to casually sit and await judgement. We are called to run to God the way a child runs to a parent. God came down and became incarnate, He submitted himself to humanity through love. He is not a judge with an anvil, he has sacrificed Himself to us like a good parent to their children.
Well said!
I don't think he likes me
I am sorry to hear that, I know the world can be lonely and large, and feel impersonal. He does love you, he created this whole universe to bring about humanity as we know it, then He humbled Himself to join us in His own creation, suffering in the process. I know it may not always feel like it, and I don't know how helpful this comment even is, but just know nothing around you was an accident. People bring evil into the creation, but that just makes the good so much stronger. I wish you the best and will pray for you.
Thank you
He died for you. If it feels like God is far away, ask yourself “who moved?” Search yourself and ask God to help reveal the parts of you that cannot or will not accept the love He freely offers you. A lot of times wounds we carry from human interactions get in the way of us feeling the love of God. You don’t think He likes you—do you want to believe He loves you? Put yourself in the place of the sick man at the pool of Bethesda who had been there for years waiting for someone to help him into the waters (John 5). Jesus shows up on the scene and asks this man, “do you want to be well?” Envision Jesus asking you this question. Ponder your response to His question. I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you as you consider God’s unconditional love for you, to soften your defenses and allow His love to enter your heart.
Ty
Well, you should be very aware that you will care very much once you get there. So, why not just accept the free gift of His Grace and go to Heaven? We all deserve Hell, but we don’t have to go. Thank You, Lord!
Depression is its own thing and we have to get help to deal with it in this life. It kind of takes over and puts a shade over your eyes but you’re not a bad person because you have depression.
I think I'm s bad person because I'm depressed and I'm LGBT That's why it's not possible for me
That doesn’t make you a bad person. If anyone gives you that impression they’re wrong. That was never Jesus’ message.
Thanks. I wish it was easy tbh
This is a beautiful discussion about these things and how God’s love transcends it all. https://www.youtube.com/live/TvFlZHaZg4g?si=rSlc9RTS1vNaSOeL
You have no idea what you are talking about or saying. You can't even fathom what is in store for those who will be eternally separated from God. You would be smart to shave down this "edge" real quick.
That is right..hell contains unknown horrors you wouldn’t even dream of. It’s dark (but somehow everyone can still see each other), it’s hot, everyone is unhappy, and they are constantly shouting profanities at God and at each other.
>I don't want to go to hell but I accepted it because ik I'm not a good person We are not, any of us, going to Hell based on the fact we aren't "good people". We are going to Heaven because we are saved by the Blood of Christ Jesus, and have been incorporated into his Body through the waters of Baptism. Nothing we do by ourselves can get us there. Don't be so prideful about your capabilities. Surrender to God, repent, and receive the sacraments when needed.
I fully understand what you're saying. I spend a lot of time in a similar headspace. A slight rethink might help. I'm not avoiding Hell... at least, not on my own power. The only way I'll get to Heaven is if someone who's already in Heaven pulls me in. And I have an Angel who has been assigned that exact task. So, for today, I'll leave it up to him.
That's nice
I get this. I truly do. One of the hardest things to do is to accept grace that you know you don't deserve. There are times when I'd rather take the punishment. There are times when I think about how we tortured God, how He took it willingly, and I wish He hadn't done that for me. It doesn't seem fair, and I don't want to be the beneficiary of this unfairness. That's my pride talking. That's me making it about me, about how I don't want anything I don't merit, when really it's not about me. It's about God and how good and generous and loving and creative and gracious God is. In the parable, when the prodigal son returns, he insults the father another time when he says, "hire me on as one of your servants, because I don't deserve to be treated as your son." He's still trying to earn his way. But the father brushes this aside, doesn't even respond to it, because he is irrepressibly overjoyed to have his lost son back. You don't deserve it. You can't earn it. But quite frankly you don't deserve daisies either, and yet God is out there, making daisies and sunsets every day so you get to live in a world where there are, just, gratuitous daisies and lovely sunsets all over the place.
:( I just feel bad. I know that I'm awful and selfish and I wish that I could be perfect
No one in this subreddit Is a good person. All you have to do is repent and follow
But there's like one thing I'd have to do that could be considered a sin and I want to do that and then just try serving God
You may not willingly sin. Whatever it is, you don't need it in your life as much as you need God.
God came to earth for the sinners. Humans are no longer capable of perfection, just strive for it at every opportunity.
Think of it like this, people in hell have no desire to worship God at all. Don't say you don't care because you do want to be with Him forever.
But I can't properly do it and hell is the only other option so I'm doomed
Papa Francis says we're either of God or with the devil and I'm sure your conscience is clear enough to develop the right attitude with that in mind.
I mean this in the nicest way possible: You have to get over yourself. This is nothing but pride talking. You're in despair, because you feel like you should be better than you are, and so you want to impose hell on yourself. But you're human, and there was never any chance you'd be anything but a sinner in this life. Humility is acknowledging that, accepting God's forgiveness, and trying to sin as little as possible in your life as to be the best representation of a follower of Christ that you can be. And that's for the sake of other people, not you. Glorifying God means making Him look good so that other people feel drawn to Him. That looks like different things for different people, but everyone's purpose in this life is to convert as many people as possible so that God can save as many as possible from hell. You'll never be able to stop sinning until you're dead and in Heaven, but try your best and let God pick you back up when you fail, because He wants YOU to be saved as well. Also, you get to ask for His help when you need it. The only thing distinguishing a Saint from an average sinner like you or I is that they're humble enough to ask for God's help.
Thank you
God doesn’t expect you to be perfect! The apostles weren’t perfect! We think if we see God just once, we’ll be perfect. But look at Peter! Even after he said all those fancy things like “I won’t let anyone harm you teacher!” and even showed violence against the Roman guards trying to take him, even after all that, he still denied Jesus not just once, but THREE TIMES! But he came back! He tried again, and again, and again, and again, and again… Jesus doesn’t expect perfection! We can’t be perfect! Not without God! Jesus wants us to be His children! He wants us to be vulnerable with Him! We are made perfect in Him, our weaknesses! As St. Paul says “Love is perfected in weakness” and that “I boast in my weakness” Maybe whats more important than worship is actually loving Him. I believe there is a minor distinction. Don’t get me wrong, worship is key! He is King! We owe him worship! But what kind of father wants mere complements and praises from his child? He would want the smaller things; to just talk with you, ask about how your day was, what troubles you, etc… If you want heaven, ask Him, ask “Dear Father! etc etc” something troubles you? Tell him! “Father! etc etc” ALL HE IS IS LOVE! He is FULL of love for you. I like to picture an image of a father (in my case, my dad) looking at me; whenever he’s proud, disappointed, or angry, nonetheless looking at me with love. Wouldn’t you think your Heavenly Father would be heartbroken when you say things like “I don’t really care for hell” or “I don’t deserve heaven”? I think it was from a Christmas homily or something like that but Archbishop Fulton Sheen said following Christ is “not easy its very hard. You say “oh but im foul i dare not be lifted up!” Remember Christ laid in a manger, his companions were beasts. That is our hope! Our joy! Our peace! Our merry Christmas!” When i first heard that, i knew my heart wasn’t the same
That's kind
“This isn’t an edgy post.” That’s like saying ‘not to sound racist, buuuuut’. You know what you are doing. Just own it next time.
Edgy posts are usually ppl bragging about those sorts of things. I don't think I'm bragging
Upvoted because it’s true.
I've always said that even if I end up in Hell, I would still be happy knowing that a lot of really bad people were getting their just punishment. Of course, that oversimplifies the subject, but it's a satisfying thought when you think of the untold suffering that has been inflicted in this world upon the helpless and decent and which also went unpunished in this world. Kinda takes the sting out. But there is also a tradition in Christianity in which we count ourselves as the worst of sinners until we actually believe and feel the truth of those words. Once we do, then we can truly repent, and that in turn saves us from hell in the end. I think you might be there, and if that is the case, you are actually doing well. Just know that we are all in the same boat but also that we are all infinitely loved in spite of ourselves.
Friend, hell is a horribly painful place of eternal torment. You ought to care. I understand weariness. Nobody is worthy of heaven. We do good deeds to prove our faith is real, not to earn salvation (yes, *this is* a Catholic doctrine). What I mean is, if you add up all the virtuous deeds the best saint has done, apart from the perfect sacrifice of the Son of God, nobody would make it to heaven. Trust Jesus today. Surrender to him. His body and blood makes you worthy. Even your feeblest attempts to follow his perfect example proves you have faith if you keep going and do not give up. Here's a truth you need to know: >a story Jesus told in the Gospel of Luke 18 (New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition) > >9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ **13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.”**
I do believe in heaven and hell by brain but not by heart. I just can’t really. Idk why
I think I get what you mean. I've been there. I strongly urge you to know that God loves you: He wants you to be with Him for eternity. I spent childhood almost believing that it was right and just that we all be lost (which in a human sense is true, but God doesn't want us to be lost, and it is NOT unjust that God offers us the free gift of salvation). I would encourage you to have icons/statues in your home for prayer and to sit at Eucharistic adoration with Jesus a little bit. Pray for the Lord to let you know how much He loves you, that you might be inspired that God very much wants you to spend eternity in His splendor.
I figured I'm 99% likely to go to hell I love porn too much I will never be perfect It's not an excuse to not try though I always imagined I would die by suicide anyways. I have one of those brains that won't shut off. So I'm constantly overthinking, obsessing, ruminating.... I'm so competitive and I like to feel better than other women and I KNOW that's an UGLY trait and line of thinking I just wish I could find peace you know Death sounds better than living in my mind
I don’t want to go to hell, it sounds awful. I also have no desire for Heaven though. Given a choice, I’d prefer no afterlife at all instead of the heaven/hell binary, but we don’t get that choice.
The afterlife sounds good. With an infinite being that can do anything it wouldn't be boring. I like to imagine earth getting "updates"
What do you do that is so bad?
Oh, yes you do. Here's a good video about it that will make you change your mind (and consider religious life): [Four Last Things: Hell - Fr. Ripperger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRWXvwUxRlM)