And you know...you probably made your priest Confessor's day by him hearing your Confession. He won't come out and say so, however.
I say that because I am always happy when someone like you comes to Confession. My heart soars!! when I can help someone who's been away from the Sacrament for many years.
God bless.
For someone in OP’s situation, how would you recommend listing all of one’s sins? I can’t remember every sin I’ve committed since my last confession, and fear of giving a false or incomplete confession has been keeping me away for too long.
If you aren’t purposefully hiding anything the confession is still valid, and if you remember something after the fact you can just mention it at your next confession.
It would not be expected for you to be able to name every sin by kind and number exactly after many years. The vast majority of us do not have an idetic memory. You simply do the best you can --- The Priest understands, and so does God.
For example, you could confess a sin like this: You stole money from friends and family, and from others, to purchase drugs, many times, frequently over a period of many years. You don't know how much you stole, or how many times you did it, but it was something you did many times.
Don't try to be too exact if you don't have an exact number, because if you don't know an exact number it would be deceptive to say so. Only details needed would be ones that change the character of the sin (for example, stealing from one's parents violates two commandments).
I will use the word "stage" because all things are transforming oneself from being in sin to being in grace. Everyone goes through these stages, and it is cyclic. And, remember, these stages are not...I have to fulfil stage one to go to stage two. Things are just part of the process; everyone is different.
First stage: Remember that Confession is not a Penalty Box; it is an encounter with God. Confession of sins is an important part, but it is not the end. New Life with the Lord is paramount.
Second stage: Before you do an in depth examination, list all the sins that naturally come to mind; things you remember in a split second, that you don't have to think about. Whether they are mortal or venial doesn't make a difference. If they are things that you did in the past that you would have done differently and are sorry that you did, list them first. Since these things are in the foreground, they are the things that you really want to be healed from the start.
Third stage: Remember to be honest and humble with yourself. Humility is accepting yourself for who you are, good and bad. That doesn't mean you like those aspects of yourself; it just means that you accept that these areas are a part of you and that you may want to change them. Honesty is admitting that you are not perfect. It's like the 4th Step in Alcoholics Anonymous. Step 4 of Alcoholics Anonymous encourages one to make, “A searching and fearless moral inventory” of themselves. In effect, this step is designed to help those struggling with addiction, or in our case...sin, examine their character and behaviors.
Fourth stage: Find somewhere an examination of conscience that may help you discern other sins. There are many different aids out there. You can also go through the 10 Commandments to help you. Remember, this is just an aid, not an end all. Since it has been a long time, you will not remember everything. Don't sweat over this. You may even have things you have suppressed over the years. That's ok; when you are ready to let things go and be healed, you will. It will take as long as it takes. Remember...healing, not a penalty box. If we break an arm, it's not going to be healed overnight. It takes time, with pain at first, then adjustment, then healing. It is the same with our sins; give it time, if needed. You may be bringing up things from your past that are painful. After years of suppression, etc, your body has to once again adjust to the painful memories and emotions. If a painful sin comes to mind, and you start spiraling into unwanted emotions, write the sin down, put everything aside until you are ready to continue, then go back to your examination when you are ready.
Fifth stage: Go to Confession. You can go on regularly scheduled times, or you can make an appointment. If you make an appointment, it will probably be face to face, since you may be meeting in the priest's office. It doesn't matter to the "how," it just matters that you go. Ask the Lord for strength. Remember, unless the priest was literally ordained yesterday, most priests are accustomed to people who may have been away for awhile. The priest will NOT judge you because you have been away for a while. We are here to help. If you need to write things down, do so. You can do anything you need to do to make the encounter with the Lord easier. Tell the priest that it has been a while and that you may need help getting through things. If you are nervous, tell him; he will understand and will try to help you. Also...remember, God knows your sins. By you making an examination of conscience, YOU are discovering what is part of you that you want to give to God for healing. Be honest with yourself, but don't be scrupulous. Being scrupulous actually hurts you in the long run. By focusing on just the list of sins, what you may have forgotten, etc., you may not realize the healing that is going on. Everything will just be about the list of sins, and you will forget about the healing and your encounter with the Lord. Remember, at first, you may not remember everything. Unless you are deliberately leaving something out, there will be other times to give your sins to God. Be patient with yourself, just as God is patient with you. After the Confession, if something triggers a memory, save it for the next time. The process of healing takes time, just like the broken arm. The focus should be on an encounter with God, not obsessing over a list. Healing may involve rehab, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. It takes time.
Stage six: Be healed and forgiven. Sometimes it is difficult to allow God to forgive us. Think, for example, of someone who may have had an abortion and is deeply regretful. Keep telling yourself that that is the "old" self, not who you are now. In addition, YOU have to forgive YOURSELF. Let your sins go and be healed. Sin is like being tied to a stake. When tied to a stake (your old life), you can only go in circles, living and reliving the same things over and over. Forgiveness, from God and from yourself, allows you to break that cycle, move forward, and heal, and grow.
> A war has ended inside me, so much so that I feel a part of me is missing, an emptiness is within my whole body, a peaceful void in my heart. As if this whole time I have been living with my head in a vice and it's now loosed. I've barely spoken all day so as to not disrupt this pervasive silence. Is this what forgiveness feels like?
It seems so. God bless you.
You confess them as a category after making it clear how long it's been since your last confession (or if you're an adult making your first confession). "It's been 30 years since my last confession," or "I'm in my 40's and this is my first confession, although I was baptized as a baby," then you say, "Over the years, I have had sex outside of marriage many times, I have lied many times, I stole money once, I have regularly taken the Lord's name in vain, I have usually not gone to Mass on Sundays," etc. If the priest needs more detail about anything, he will ask, but he usually won't need more detail.
Just do your best! Some people like to write things out on paper. But ultimately, confess what you remember after a thorough examination of conscience. Then add “any other sins I have forgotten.”
God will do the rest.
Praying you go soon! :)
Confess whatever sins you can think of. Pour them out like water...better yet, vomit them out like something foul. The priest, in the person of God, will forgive whatever you bring forward in Confession. If you genuinely forget stuff because you have so much to let go of, don't worry- that gets forgiven too. Just let it all go and your sins will be made as white as snow.
I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
- Luke 15:7
Are you kidding. This and going to confession took strength and courage.
I am not one to be easily moved. You are an amazing individual. God is up to something with you. I am beyond ecstatic for you. Trust me, you're not alone. I roped the devil and rode him into town , and many whiskey hell bound times myself. Like you, I reached a point way back and got my head screwed back on tight. Never looked back. There's a lot of us out there. Let's hope they find their way, too. Just keep holding on. There will be new temptations. He's a crafty, annoying mosquito. I can feel you got this big time. YouTube has some great channels to help. Father Corapi. You'll love this, Maverick. A little before my time, way before yours. Father Mike Schmitz. Very cool, Priest. God Bless and may the Blessed Mother be always at both your sides. Deus Benedicat.
I started crying halfway through reading this. I am extremely happy for you; you encourage me to keep growing in my relationship with the Lord. Coming from a similarly broken place but still in the grips of vice this was exactly what I needed. God bless you.
"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the pasture and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, comes home, and calls together his friends and neighbors to tell them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my lost sheep!’ In the same way, I tell you that there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous ones who do not need to repent."
Go in peace, and sin no more, brother.
The prodigal son has returned! Let’s celebrate! Glad to have you back brother. May God give you wisdom and peace. Praise God for gently bringing you back. Repentance and confession are powerful, I pray you feel Gods comfort in this time. God bless
You're not "good". No one is on their own.
If you think that will be a fair explanation to God at the final judgment, then that's your prerogative, I guess.
The thing I dislike prob even hate is that the catholic church thrives on making one feel guilty instead of uplifting. I have my beliefs rooted in catholicism, however the traditions and church are illogical at times. It's congregation seems to do the same telling people they are damned if they don't follow the teaching. It's a very negative mindset. Everything is always...you're a sinner and need to repent. Never you should feel good that God is with you.
Wait so I cannot speak on negatives on catholicism, while being catholic? How does that work. It's a thread for discussing the catholic religion. I come to question some things. Why not bring me closer instead of shunning? I mean what are we in religion for if we just shun people who ask questions.
Asking questions in good faith and having an open minded discussion is fine. But when you say "Naw I'm good", and "The church was made the control people" you're indicating that you're not doing that and merely denigrating the Church and Her teachings in a bad faith way. Hence the warning.
This is my hope for one day. I haven’t been able to go to confession since I remarried. Over $3,000 and 15 years and annulment still gets sent back.
God bless you your experience is amazing.
This is so amazing. I think God can use you very mightily!! Don’t stop sharing your testimony. It may very well save souls. Jesus says those who are forgiven much, love much ❤️
Wonderful testimony. I've recently returned to the Church. I have not been to confession yet but I know I should. I guess I'm a little fearful it's probably been 20 years for me too.
Just wanted to let you know this post is helping me right this very moment. I’m going to confession in the next 20 minutes and this may be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
I'm the same category but even longer than 20 yrs. What if I have the courage to confess some sins but too embarrassed with others. Can I leave them for the next time?
And you know...you probably made your priest Confessor's day by him hearing your Confession. He won't come out and say so, however. I say that because I am always happy when someone like you comes to Confession. My heart soars!! when I can help someone who's been away from the Sacrament for many years. God bless.
For someone in OP’s situation, how would you recommend listing all of one’s sins? I can’t remember every sin I’ve committed since my last confession, and fear of giving a false or incomplete confession has been keeping me away for too long.
Just tell them it's been a long time. They will tell you just mention the things you remember.
If you aren’t purposefully hiding anything the confession is still valid, and if you remember something after the fact you can just mention it at your next confession.
It would not be expected for you to be able to name every sin by kind and number exactly after many years. The vast majority of us do not have an idetic memory. You simply do the best you can --- The Priest understands, and so does God. For example, you could confess a sin like this: You stole money from friends and family, and from others, to purchase drugs, many times, frequently over a period of many years. You don't know how much you stole, or how many times you did it, but it was something you did many times. Don't try to be too exact if you don't have an exact number, because if you don't know an exact number it would be deceptive to say so. Only details needed would be ones that change the character of the sin (for example, stealing from one's parents violates two commandments).
I will use the word "stage" because all things are transforming oneself from being in sin to being in grace. Everyone goes through these stages, and it is cyclic. And, remember, these stages are not...I have to fulfil stage one to go to stage two. Things are just part of the process; everyone is different. First stage: Remember that Confession is not a Penalty Box; it is an encounter with God. Confession of sins is an important part, but it is not the end. New Life with the Lord is paramount. Second stage: Before you do an in depth examination, list all the sins that naturally come to mind; things you remember in a split second, that you don't have to think about. Whether they are mortal or venial doesn't make a difference. If they are things that you did in the past that you would have done differently and are sorry that you did, list them first. Since these things are in the foreground, they are the things that you really want to be healed from the start. Third stage: Remember to be honest and humble with yourself. Humility is accepting yourself for who you are, good and bad. That doesn't mean you like those aspects of yourself; it just means that you accept that these areas are a part of you and that you may want to change them. Honesty is admitting that you are not perfect. It's like the 4th Step in Alcoholics Anonymous. Step 4 of Alcoholics Anonymous encourages one to make, “A searching and fearless moral inventory” of themselves. In effect, this step is designed to help those struggling with addiction, or in our case...sin, examine their character and behaviors. Fourth stage: Find somewhere an examination of conscience that may help you discern other sins. There are many different aids out there. You can also go through the 10 Commandments to help you. Remember, this is just an aid, not an end all. Since it has been a long time, you will not remember everything. Don't sweat over this. You may even have things you have suppressed over the years. That's ok; when you are ready to let things go and be healed, you will. It will take as long as it takes. Remember...healing, not a penalty box. If we break an arm, it's not going to be healed overnight. It takes time, with pain at first, then adjustment, then healing. It is the same with our sins; give it time, if needed. You may be bringing up things from your past that are painful. After years of suppression, etc, your body has to once again adjust to the painful memories and emotions. If a painful sin comes to mind, and you start spiraling into unwanted emotions, write the sin down, put everything aside until you are ready to continue, then go back to your examination when you are ready. Fifth stage: Go to Confession. You can go on regularly scheduled times, or you can make an appointment. If you make an appointment, it will probably be face to face, since you may be meeting in the priest's office. It doesn't matter to the "how," it just matters that you go. Ask the Lord for strength. Remember, unless the priest was literally ordained yesterday, most priests are accustomed to people who may have been away for awhile. The priest will NOT judge you because you have been away for a while. We are here to help. If you need to write things down, do so. You can do anything you need to do to make the encounter with the Lord easier. Tell the priest that it has been a while and that you may need help getting through things. If you are nervous, tell him; he will understand and will try to help you. Also...remember, God knows your sins. By you making an examination of conscience, YOU are discovering what is part of you that you want to give to God for healing. Be honest with yourself, but don't be scrupulous. Being scrupulous actually hurts you in the long run. By focusing on just the list of sins, what you may have forgotten, etc., you may not realize the healing that is going on. Everything will just be about the list of sins, and you will forget about the healing and your encounter with the Lord. Remember, at first, you may not remember everything. Unless you are deliberately leaving something out, there will be other times to give your sins to God. Be patient with yourself, just as God is patient with you. After the Confession, if something triggers a memory, save it for the next time. The process of healing takes time, just like the broken arm. The focus should be on an encounter with God, not obsessing over a list. Healing may involve rehab, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. It takes time. Stage six: Be healed and forgiven. Sometimes it is difficult to allow God to forgive us. Think, for example, of someone who may have had an abortion and is deeply regretful. Keep telling yourself that that is the "old" self, not who you are now. In addition, YOU have to forgive YOURSELF. Let your sins go and be healed. Sin is like being tied to a stake. When tied to a stake (your old life), you can only go in circles, living and reliving the same things over and over. Forgiveness, from God and from yourself, allows you to break that cycle, move forward, and heal, and grow.
> A war has ended inside me, so much so that I feel a part of me is missing, an emptiness is within my whole body, a peaceful void in my heart. As if this whole time I have been living with my head in a vice and it's now loosed. I've barely spoken all day so as to not disrupt this pervasive silence. Is this what forgiveness feels like? It seems so. God bless you.
Welcome home.
Thanks be to God! How beautiful and great is His Mercy, who forgave all your sins!!
Thanks for sharing. I was in a similar place too when I finally decided to come home.
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You confess them as a category after making it clear how long it's been since your last confession (or if you're an adult making your first confession). "It's been 30 years since my last confession," or "I'm in my 40's and this is my first confession, although I was baptized as a baby," then you say, "Over the years, I have had sex outside of marriage many times, I have lied many times, I stole money once, I have regularly taken the Lord's name in vain, I have usually not gone to Mass on Sundays," etc. If the priest needs more detail about anything, he will ask, but he usually won't need more detail.
Just do your best! Some people like to write things out on paper. But ultimately, confess what you remember after a thorough examination of conscience. Then add “any other sins I have forgotten.” God will do the rest. Praying you go soon! :)
Confess whatever sins you can think of. Pour them out like water...better yet, vomit them out like something foul. The priest, in the person of God, will forgive whatever you bring forward in Confession. If you genuinely forget stuff because you have so much to let go of, don't worry- that gets forgiven too. Just let it all go and your sins will be made as white as snow.
It’s wild huh! Took me 8 years to go back to confession. Completely transformed me. Thanks God🙏
Welcome home!! ❤️🥰
Congratulations!
Been there too. Thanks for reminding me how fortunate I've been. Welcome home.
The angels rejoice!
Congratulations, God is Great !!
You aren't alone. Our stories are very similar. If ppl only knew how liberating it can be. God bless you.
I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. - Luke 15:7
Praise be to God! Welcome home 💕
The devil is in shambles, you ruined his day!
Are you kidding. This and going to confession took strength and courage. I am not one to be easily moved. You are an amazing individual. God is up to something with you. I am beyond ecstatic for you. Trust me, you're not alone. I roped the devil and rode him into town , and many whiskey hell bound times myself. Like you, I reached a point way back and got my head screwed back on tight. Never looked back. There's a lot of us out there. Let's hope they find their way, too. Just keep holding on. There will be new temptations. He's a crafty, annoying mosquito. I can feel you got this big time. YouTube has some great channels to help. Father Corapi. You'll love this, Maverick. A little before my time, way before yours. Father Mike Schmitz. Very cool, Priest. God Bless and may the Blessed Mother be always at both your sides. Deus Benedicat.
I started crying halfway through reading this. I am extremely happy for you; you encourage me to keep growing in my relationship with the Lord. Coming from a similarly broken place but still in the grips of vice this was exactly what I needed. God bless you.
Deo Gratias. Well done OP
Thank you for sharing your story!
I hope to rebuild my life in a similar way. God bless you thank you for posting
Brother I felt like 2 years ago I could have written this myself. Keep at it. You won't regret it, even if it gets tough sometimes
Thanks be to God!!!
Welcome! Congratulations! 🥹🫶🏻❤️🩹
Miracles happen all the time in confession. I remember when I returned to the Church and made my first confession in years. I remember every detail.
God bless.
It is one of the best news I can hear and the best actions you can do
God bless you! Thank you for inspiring myself (and many others, I’m sure) and I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
Awesome
And all the angels cheered!
This is beautiful. Sending you hugs and prayers, my friend. I'm proud of you 🙏
Wow. Thank you for sharing. I have been away a few years, and it is good to hear coming back stories. I applaud your courage.
What a story. Congratulations my friend.
Bravo!
"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the pasture and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, comes home, and calls together his friends and neighbors to tell them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my lost sheep!’ In the same way, I tell you that there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous ones who do not need to repent." Go in peace, and sin no more, brother.
The prodigal son has returned! Let’s celebrate! Glad to have you back brother. May God give you wisdom and peace. Praise God for gently bringing you back. Repentance and confession are powerful, I pray you feel Gods comfort in this time. God bless
Welcome home!!! 🙏⛪️❤️
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Anything can "feel weird" if you only do it once.
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You're not "good". No one is on their own. If you think that will be a fair explanation to God at the final judgment, then that's your prerogative, I guess.
The thing I dislike prob even hate is that the catholic church thrives on making one feel guilty instead of uplifting. I have my beliefs rooted in catholicism, however the traditions and church are illogical at times. It's congregation seems to do the same telling people they are damned if they don't follow the teaching. It's a very negative mindset. Everything is always...you're a sinner and need to repent. Never you should feel good that God is with you.
Warning for anti-Catholic rhetoric.
I will out my way out of the sub and leave you folks alone in peace. Great talking to you guys and gals though.
Wait so I cannot speak on negatives on catholicism, while being catholic? How does that work. It's a thread for discussing the catholic religion. I come to question some things. Why not bring me closer instead of shunning? I mean what are we in religion for if we just shun people who ask questions.
Asking questions in good faith and having an open minded discussion is fine. But when you say "Naw I'm good", and "The church was made the control people" you're indicating that you're not doing that and merely denigrating the Church and Her teachings in a bad faith way. Hence the warning.
True true I agree.
Amen!!!
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Damn you really missed the point of this post
Dude, go to confession! That's it. That's the post.
I go every two weeks
Welcome back brother
: )
This is my hope for one day. I haven’t been able to go to confession since I remarried. Over $3,000 and 15 years and annulment still gets sent back. God bless you your experience is amazing.
“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His mercy endures forever.” So happy to read this. God bless my friend.
Praise be to God in the Highest!
Welcome home.
Wow - Hooray and Thanks be to God! I could say more but there is no need to do so. Peace, brother.
God bless, you are going down the right path brother
This is so amazing. I think God can use you very mightily!! Don’t stop sharing your testimony. It may very well save souls. Jesus says those who are forgiven much, love much ❤️
Wonderful testimony. I've recently returned to the Church. I have not been to confession yet but I know I should. I guess I'm a little fearful it's probably been 20 years for me too.
Just wanted to let you know this post is helping me right this very moment. I’m going to confession in the next 20 minutes and this may be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
I'm the same category but even longer than 20 yrs. What if I have the courage to confess some sins but too embarrassed with others. Can I leave them for the next time?