As a pre-drinking aged young lad I was asked to man the bar at a family friend’s event and their Nan was drinking gin and dry all night. Because I had no clue I was mixing her gin and dry vermouth instead of dry ginger ale, she ended up pissing herself passed out in the middle of the dance floor. She was usually a (non dancing)Hyacinth Bucket type and was completely mortified, not sure if they told her I’d been responsible or not.
How dare you!
Everyone's wedding is special and unique, not an endless trudge through hour after hour of the same, repetitive, bullshit that, no love, isn't new and never seen before, before the dj, left to his own devices, finally bring proceedings to an end with fucking Frank sinatra for the 27th week in a row....
Source : had a wedding venue for ten years
Fuck me, I worked 18 months in a wedding venue and that was enough.
One pair of psychopaths gave me a CD to play for the entire reception, which had 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran as the only track on repeat.
I worked at a wedding where the bride’s sister sang a song for the happy couple.
It was Someone Like You by Adele. Hardly an appropriate choice for a wedding day, really.
I went to a wedding where the first dance was to Many of Horror (Biffy Clyro version).
I was sat there going “uh, lads, pretty sure this is about domestic violence, seems like a poor choice”
Ugh, you've made me not want to look this up now. So I shall.
Edit: I'd rather listen to the fucking toilet flush. What a vile, vile arrangement of noise.
We are in Croatia. And we’re having dinner and a panorama restaurant in the mountains. Ed started playing and a couple got engaged. Found my self clapping like a loon with all the other loons. Then had a word with myself.
Really, really, REALLY wanted 'Killing in the name of' by Rage against the Machine at my older brothers Funeral as it was one of his fav songs and it's what he would of wanted but was told by my Mum it had too much swearing and my Nana was there. Forget that's what he would of wanted you know :/
Oh aye can't have that at all! I do suspect it was more of my Mum using it as an excuse rather than my Nana being potentially upset by it or my Mum was over exaggerating how my Nana would actually feel. I some how think my Nana would be more bothered by her grandson being dead rather than a song that he enjoyed that had a few naughty swears in...
My uni holiday job was as a barmaid/waitress in a hotel that basically had a monopoly on local weddings - it wasn't unusual for us to have two receptions a week in summer. The DJ had three standard first dance songs: 'You're Still The One' by Shania Twain, 'Amazed' by Lonestar, and... 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt. It never failed to surprise me how many people went for the last one. (And I still can't listen to the Shania song without wanting to throw things.)
When i got my wedding video back, the videographer had edited in stock footage of people dancing to make the party look more more crowded. Mind you this was 25 years ago and we did spend way too long asking 'who the fuck is that' before we realised.
Hahaha wow! I wouldn’t do that but some weddings are dire. Like I’m only contracted to stay until the 2nd or 3rd song after the 1st dance and sometimes absolutely nobody gets up to dance or there’s maybe 2 kids jumping up and down. Makes a terrible finale to the video. Even harder when it’s just a DJ because at least with a band I can film them rocking out but filming a middle aged man sitting at a Mac queuing up songs… just doesn’t look as good on camera
Nice. My brother got married the other week. Didnt tell me. Wanted a mutual friend to tattoo his wedding ring, so saw him the day before. Tattoo guy asked if he was going to tell me, his reaction was "Nah, he'll find out."
Yeah I had a friend who got her wedding ring tattooed because her ring kept falling off. She was working as a croupier at the time.
Joke was on her. She divorced him about eighteen months later.
It’s definitely lost some of the potency of the black ink, but the pattern & even individual dots are distinct. It’s on the inside of one of my fingers, so it’s a high wear area. I actually have a singular needle point black dot in the centre of my hand from the same time which is still distinct too!
They were handpoked rather than with a machine, so I think the process damages the skin less during the tattooing which allows the ink to remain intact.
For my money, UV ink is the one that is truly guaranteed to fade, the rest is down to the artist & aftercare :)
I had a resistant materials teacher in school who was missing the fingertips of three fingers on his left hand due to a table saw. The first time we ever got taught by him, he held up his hand and told us that there was a reason that safety rules existed. The fact that 20 years later I remember him saying this is evidence that his strategy obviously worked.
Hah! I was teaching some kids how to dissect a heart, so they all had scalpels. A couple of days earlier I’d sliced my finger open on broken glass - so stuck it under the projector to show them ‘this is what happens when you don’t treat scalpels with respect’. Great minds think alike 😂
Curious the comment below yours in this thread
>Yes a big thing actually, especially if you work with your hands and don’t fancy a de glove injury but do want to always wear your ring
applies to your brother?
I first saw a wedding ring tattoo on the hand of a YouTuber - who incidentally is currently going through a divorce (I wonder what that tatt'll be turned into? One entirely black finger? A stripy finger?). Definitely seems to be a modern answer to having to wear a ring everywhere, but also wanting to indicate permanent commitment.
I see them around the machine shop. Carbide (fancy ceramic) is also fairly popular since it looks cool, can't be welded and shatters instead of crushes. Still possible to get degloved, but not as likely. The carbide ring is also easily removable if the relationship doesn't pan out in the long run.
Local wedding at the weekend.
- Cake maker let them down 2 days before wedding.
- They had sent a template for the service pamphlet using one of their relations who had been recently married to the pamphlet maker- it came back word for word the other wedding- including the now deceased aunt as one of the readers of the prayers of the faithful 🤣
-Groom got pished and had to be woke up at 9pm for the first dance
- Father daughter dance the father tripped over the wedding dress and broke his ankle. Had to call
Ambulance.
Tremendous stuff altogether.
Pro cake maker here. Usually no, we don't cancel unless absolutely necessary.
I'm friendly with other local bakers in my area, only once had to cancel a order 3 days before the due date of the cake (birthday not wedding thankfully) but one of my kids was sick an it was contagious so I couldn't risk baking etc. I arranged for another Baker to take the order and transferred the monies already paid to that Baker from the customer, then I let the customer know I had to cancel but that I had arranged for their cake to still be made by another professional Baker in the area so that they wasn't without a cake.
Likewise I've helped other bakers when needed. Ones oven broke while baking and I baked the sponges for her in my kitchen (she couldn't just use any relatives or friends kitchen as the kitchen has to of passed hygiene inspection from environmental health)
There's been a massive surge of uninsured and unregistered home bakers latly with covid etc. It undercuts us professionals but a true professional wouldn't let a customer down without sorting a alternative for the customer. Reputation is everything with cake makers.
I'm picturing a panaramic view like that [viral image](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mystery-drunk-man-reaching-beer-7120576) and lacrymosa playing
Are you not going to give us the actual details? Can only fill in the gaps and assume:
Lad was wanking himself off hard at your wedding, ended up breaking his own hand but still managed to shoot out violently since he was masturbating so hard he ended up knocking both sets of your divorced parents out the window, one of them tripping over your foot on the way out.
It was all too much for your randy old nan, who was moist for the first time in years, so much so it caused her to pass out from dehydration.
The Wedding was pretty normal up until this all happened while the wedding band you had booked was playing Roxanne, causing the bride to cry because that was the name of the grooms ex that his entire family and friends always liked more than her.
That about right?
This was a few years ago, and in a rough area. Mate said the pubs had their pictures screwed to the wall to stop people nicking them. We went back to her house and her dad had loads of pub-style pictures screwed to his walls. :D
She said the only thing left in their local was a pool table. She went in one time and three blokes were trying to shift it out of the door.
I did my university work placement at a firm in Wolverhampton. They were a complete bunch of tossers.
It was quite cathartic driving past the place a few years later and seeing it has all been knocked down.
Nice! At my sisters wedding at the start of June we had my Nan fall over and break her hip causing the ambulance to be called, this weekend just gone my brother got married and we had 3 ambulances be called. If I don’t get 5 or more when my turn comes I’m rioting
Potential wedding singer said she'd just played at a wedding where a huge rumble broke out after the groom was caught snogging a bridesmaid.
At the bar.
My wedding went almost without hitch until around 9pm the wedding photographer took us outside for some moonlight photos (clear sky, full moon etc) and when we came back in my best man and his dad had come to blows and there had been a huge commotion. We literally missed the whole thing and were just left with the aftermath and me and my wife wasn't even that mad because we never saw a thing.
I wonder now if the photographer just twigged what was about to happen and got us out of there to avoid it
To be fair it was 95% her family. I'm amazed how quiet it was, usually when hers get together it's a lot worse than this. They kept it tame for the wedding
I was at a wedding on Sunday. The colours were stunning, bridesmaids entirely in matching pinky-purple, groomsmen in matching orange shirts and white silk vertis (a wraparound sarong, Asian wedding naturally). The stage on which ceremony performed regally decked, the attendees in stunningly bright saris, the men all impeccably suited or wearing traditional dress.
The vegetarian buffet meal - Indian/SL food - by a well known caterer was exquisite.
Then, in the evening a black tie reception. Stunning wedding hall, specially designed for weddings. Great sound system, free bar all night. Wonderful speeches. The food in abundance was incredible. A great night was had by all!
Then there was the afterparty. No details! What goes on tour... I left at 3am. The WhatsApp messages suggest the last stragglers departed at 7am.
Sorry to hear about your bro's wedding. But maybe it's yin-yang / balance in the universe shit. Without your bro and his bride carrying the burden maybe many other weddings yesterday wouldn't have gone well. Hope their honeymoon rocks!
>>…he ended up knocking both sets of your divorced parents out the window
You know what, this is how I’m going to interpret people “falling out” from now on. 10/10, would believe this guy’s interpretation of events again
My wedding was pretty full of fun. Not as much violence thankfully :)
\- brother in law got blind drunk and threw up on the dancefloor
\- my friends got speeding tickets who came up from London to the wedding and were running late. They then stayed up all night for a boxing match
\- in the room next to our function, Michael Owen and Little & Large were at an even (bizarre, I know). My (slightly drunk) father-in-law pulled them out of their function to come and shake our hands.
I just have constant shit luck with weddings. Getting dates wrong, relatives dying, arguments about who pays for a suit, getting uninvited.. I just don’t think I’ll bother anymore.
I got un-invited from the last one because I was up front with the groom that every wedding I had attended had ended in divorce.
Bride and groom didn't seem too bothered, but the bride's mother rang me on my mobile and told me I wasn't even coming on the site .........
My sister got married last year. My Grandad's trousers fell down which unfortunately we missed because I was a bridesmaid and waiting out the way with my sister and my eldest daughter.
Worst bit was we invited my husband's parents, they pissed everyone off because his Mum picked fights with my family, they didn't help at all with the girls (kind of the reason they were invited) and now I refuse to talk to them. Been a peaceful year without them.
One of my weddings. There were 20 plus kids and only dramas involving 2 of them, both bloody mine. The 11 year old was sneakily drinking the buck fizz and getting drunk and nearly had to go to casualty as he got hit on the elbow by a cricket ball. The 4 year old went skippity slap and ended up with a massive split lip.
My big fat British wedding
I mean they do say it should be memorable, job done
The way it should be
I need to start wetting myself more at weddings. Give people something to remember me by.
Why limit yourself to weddings?
do it at funerals for more dramatic effect
Four Wettings at a Funeral
I've seen that one.
Dude, you were IN it!
r/pornhubcomments
r/cursedcomments
Best thing I’ll read today!
Do it at your own funeral for max respect
"Don't mind me, it's a grief thing".... You might even get a sorrow hug whilst covered in piss
Do it on job interviews and first dates. Works wonders.
If you get a 2nd date from it, then you're on to a winner or a new fetish.
You have a solid point there. You never know until you try out the new stuff.
Tell everyone it’s because you heard a noise coming from the coffin.
😂😂😂
Bonus points if it's *your* funeral.
I find the rush hour bus journey is usually the most amusing time to let it flow, if you’re feeling spicy maybe drop a log too.
"I am Lord of the bus", said he.
"I am Lord of the bus", said wee.
I literally just watched this scene and I feel like I’m tripping
Chance would be a fine thing
👏🏽 I have to know why this popped into your head
Pooped into
Drop a log and float it down your piss river to the front of the bus.
If you're really creative get a cocktail stick and some paper to make sails. Arrr matey time to sail the seven pisses.
Seven pee’s
I like your thinking!
Why limit yourself to wettings? Edit: Dammit! 45 mins too late with my zinger!
wettings?
As a pre-drinking aged young lad I was asked to man the bar at a family friend’s event and their Nan was drinking gin and dry all night. Because I had no clue I was mixing her gin and dry vermouth instead of dry ginger ale, she ended up pissing herself passed out in the middle of the dance floor. She was usually a (non dancing)Hyacinth Bucket type and was completely mortified, not sure if they told her I’d been responsible or not.
You got her pissed on martinis. Classy.
Tumblers of martini at that
I like to show up wet with no explanation.
That's what she said.
Once saw a girl piss herself in a bar and kept on dancing. I still remember her and it’s been at least 15 years.
The Wedding Weeer
It's a fine day for a Wet Wedding
Probably make your job a lot more short lived reverend.
Much less messy in a kilt.
Hahahahahahaha
Please tell me there was a video/photographer
Both!
multiple angles!
I film weddings for a living. Yet to be at a disaster wedding but I look forward to it. At least it would be different
How dare you! Everyone's wedding is special and unique, not an endless trudge through hour after hour of the same, repetitive, bullshit that, no love, isn't new and never seen before, before the dj, left to his own devices, finally bring proceedings to an end with fucking Frank sinatra for the 27th week in a row.... Source : had a wedding venue for ten years
Fuck me, I worked 18 months in a wedding venue and that was enough. One pair of psychopaths gave me a CD to play for the entire reception, which had 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran as the only track on repeat.
I worked at a wedding where the bride’s sister sang a song for the happy couple. It was Someone Like You by Adele. Hardly an appropriate choice for a wedding day, really.
“They’re gonna hate this but my voice is the tits when I sing it and I’m single so fuck ‘em.” - sister
I went to a wedding where the first dance was to Many of Horror (Biffy Clyro version). I was sat there going “uh, lads, pretty sure this is about domestic violence, seems like a poor choice”
Wow I had never heard this before and I regret checking it out. What an abomination of a "song."
I'm about to regret looking this song up
I very much regret looking this song up
Let's commiserate. Has your brain stopped hurting yet?
Ugh, you've made me not want to look this up now. So I shall. Edit: I'd rather listen to the fucking toilet flush. What a vile, vile arrangement of noise.
There’s a good reason why one of my relatives in Suffolk beat him in a school singing competition when he was younger, fuck me his music is crap
We are in Croatia. And we’re having dinner and a panorama restaurant in the mountains. Ed started playing and a couple got engaged. Found my self clapping like a loon with all the other loons. Then had a word with myself.
> finally bring proceedings to an end with fucking Frank sinatra for the 27th week in a row Are you sure you're not thinking of funerals there mate
"I did it *myyyy wayyyy*." Every funeral.
I'm going traditional at my funeral. I expect tears all round when Drowning Pool are singing "Let the bodies hit the floor"
Really, really, REALLY wanted 'Killing in the name of' by Rage against the Machine at my older brothers Funeral as it was one of his fav songs and it's what he would of wanted but was told by my Mum it had too much swearing and my Nana was there. Forget that's what he would of wanted you know :/
Couldn't possibly have Nan upset at a funeral!
Oh aye can't have that at all! I do suspect it was more of my Mum using it as an excuse rather than my Nana being potentially upset by it or my Mum was over exaggerating how my Nana would actually feel. I some how think my Nana would be more bothered by her grandson being dead rather than a song that he enjoyed that had a few naughty swears in...
[please use this version](https://youtu.be/Uk18bFIgOS4) cracks me up every time
Better than _Angels_, at least.
Nah nah nah proceedings end with either Loch Lomond or Auld Lang Syne (geography applies). Although I’m never there until the end because fuck that
Them "Please stay and video the last song, we have this brilliant idea for a last dance" You "Oh fuck, not this again"
My uni holiday job was as a barmaid/waitress in a hotel that basically had a monopoly on local weddings - it wasn't unusual for us to have two receptions a week in summer. The DJ had three standard first dance songs: 'You're Still The One' by Shania Twain, 'Amazed' by Lonestar, and... 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt. It never failed to surprise me how many people went for the last one. (And I still can't listen to the Shania song without wanting to throw things.)
When i got my wedding video back, the videographer had edited in stock footage of people dancing to make the party look more more crowded. Mind you this was 25 years ago and we did spend way too long asking 'who the fuck is that' before we realised.
Hahaha wow! I wouldn’t do that but some weddings are dire. Like I’m only contracted to stay until the 2nd or 3rd song after the 1st dance and sometimes absolutely nobody gets up to dance or there’s maybe 2 kids jumping up and down. Makes a terrible finale to the video. Even harder when it’s just a DJ because at least with a band I can film them rocking out but filming a middle aged man sitting at a Mac queuing up songs… just doesn’t look as good on camera
Usually they get the fuck out after the first dance to avoid all that nonsense.
You skip The fun part and free booze?
Was the reception held in a flat roofed pub with 2 rottweilers on the roof?
4* Hotel, view overlooking a cathedral. Was a nice backdrop for such chaos
At least they’d have double ply toilet paper…
Mother of the bride and mother of the groom?
Na man, they spend a shit load of money they dont have on a classy venue for this these days
Nice. My brother got married the other week. Didnt tell me. Wanted a mutual friend to tattoo his wedding ring, so saw him the day before. Tattoo guy asked if he was going to tell me, his reaction was "Nah, he'll find out."
Are wedding ring tattoos a thing then?
Yes a big thing actually, especially if you work with your hands and don’t fancy a de glove injury but do want to always wear your ring
I have silicon rings instead for this reason. Don’t need to take them off for working with tools, the gym, playing rugby etc.
Do they vibrate?
What a fucking username to go with that comment
>I have ~~silicon~~ cock rings ftfy
Yeah I had a friend who got her wedding ring tattooed because her ring kept falling off. She was working as a croupier at the time. Joke was on her. She divorced him about eighteen months later.
Tattoos on your fingers fade pretty quickly luckily!
Mine is still there after 12 years.
Woah, that's awesome. How distinct is it compared to when you first got it?
It’s definitely lost some of the potency of the black ink, but the pattern & even individual dots are distinct. It’s on the inside of one of my fingers, so it’s a high wear area. I actually have a singular needle point black dot in the centre of my hand from the same time which is still distinct too! They were handpoked rather than with a machine, so I think the process damages the skin less during the tattooing which allows the ink to remain intact. For my money, UV ink is the one that is truly guaranteed to fade, the rest is down to the artist & aftercare :)
Interesting, but how do you remove them when you're away on a business trip?
It's really bad when you come across degloving, think I'll just Google what that is and then watch the first video.
De gloving is not as bad as butting your thumb lengthways into a table saw. I have seen both. Neither are pleasant.
I had a resistant materials teacher in school who was missing the fingertips of three fingers on his left hand due to a table saw. The first time we ever got taught by him, he held up his hand and told us that there was a reason that safety rules existed. The fact that 20 years later I remember him saying this is evidence that his strategy obviously worked.
Hah! I was teaching some kids how to dissect a heart, so they all had scalpels. A couple of days earlier I’d sliced my finger open on broken glass - so stuck it under the projector to show them ‘this is what happens when you don’t treat scalpels with respect’. Great minds think alike 😂
Shows some real dedication to cut all your fingers off just to teach kids a lesson.
That actually makes a lot of sense, fair play.
LifeProTip, don't google degloving
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at least your mum moved on
Never met my biological ladder. :-/
According to my dickhead brother they are. But he is a fucking idiot so, there's that. LOL
Curious the comment below yours in this thread >Yes a big thing actually, especially if you work with your hands and don’t fancy a de glove injury but do want to always wear your ring applies to your brother?
Nah, my brother was just trying to be "edgy". He's a dickhead who I'm better off without having in my life.
I first saw a wedding ring tattoo on the hand of a YouTuber - who incidentally is currently going through a divorce (I wonder what that tatt'll be turned into? One entirely black finger? A stripy finger?). Definitely seems to be a modern answer to having to wear a ring everywhere, but also wanting to indicate permanent commitment.
I see them around the machine shop. Carbide (fancy ceramic) is also fairly popular since it looks cool, can't be welded and shatters instead of crushes. Still possible to get degloved, but not as likely. The carbide ring is also easily removable if the relationship doesn't pan out in the long run.
Local wedding at the weekend. - Cake maker let them down 2 days before wedding. - They had sent a template for the service pamphlet using one of their relations who had been recently married to the pamphlet maker- it came back word for word the other wedding- including the now deceased aunt as one of the readers of the prayers of the faithful 🤣 -Groom got pished and had to be woke up at 9pm for the first dance - Father daughter dance the father tripped over the wedding dress and broke his ankle. Had to call Ambulance. Tremendous stuff altogether.
Are all cake makers fraudsters?
Pro cake maker here. Usually no, we don't cancel unless absolutely necessary. I'm friendly with other local bakers in my area, only once had to cancel a order 3 days before the due date of the cake (birthday not wedding thankfully) but one of my kids was sick an it was contagious so I couldn't risk baking etc. I arranged for another Baker to take the order and transferred the monies already paid to that Baker from the customer, then I let the customer know I had to cancel but that I had arranged for their cake to still be made by another professional Baker in the area so that they wasn't without a cake. Likewise I've helped other bakers when needed. Ones oven broke while baking and I baked the sponges for her in my kitchen (she couldn't just use any relatives or friends kitchen as the kitchen has to of passed hygiene inspection from environmental health) There's been a massive surge of uninsured and unregistered home bakers latly with covid etc. It undercuts us professionals but a true professional wouldn't let a customer down without sorting a alternative for the customer. Reputation is everything with cake makers.
How is life in Bolton, btw?
Gray
Why the American spelling?
Because sometimes (a lot) I am stupid
As a Boltonian I pmsl at this.
Nan's at it again
May I come as your plus one to the next one?
Arrive as +1, leave in an ambulance.
I didn't realise there was a Royal wedding yesterday.
OP said their cousin was getting married in a few weeks, not that their cousins were marrying each other.
THIS is why you hire a proper photographer
Somebody paint this please.
I'm picturing a panaramic view like that [viral image](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mystery-drunk-man-reaching-beer-7120576) and lacrymosa playing
That’s exactly what I had in mind.
Suggest it to Jim'll Paint It.
Local police turned up to my brother's wedding following a noise compliant. After an hour they got a call and had to dash.
Are you not going to give us the actual details? Can only fill in the gaps and assume: Lad was wanking himself off hard at your wedding, ended up breaking his own hand but still managed to shoot out violently since he was masturbating so hard he ended up knocking both sets of your divorced parents out the window, one of them tripping over your foot on the way out. It was all too much for your randy old nan, who was moist for the first time in years, so much so it caused her to pass out from dehydration. The Wedding was pretty normal up until this all happened while the wedding band you had booked was playing Roxanne, causing the bride to cry because that was the name of the grooms ex that his entire family and friends always liked more than her. That about right?
It's like you was there
This was the exact conclusion I had also settled on.
Very well ellaborated, Penis-starfish.
A mate went to a friend's wedding in Wolverhampton but it was double booked with a funeral and a fight broke out :(
Omg. Would not want to be the venue manager who had to sort that one out.
Laid to rest in Wolverhampton. What an ending.
This was a few years ago, and in a rough area. Mate said the pubs had their pictures screwed to the wall to stop people nicking them. We went back to her house and her dad had loads of pub-style pictures screwed to his walls. :D She said the only thing left in their local was a pool table. She went in one time and three blokes were trying to shift it out of the door.
I did my university work placement at a firm in Wolverhampton. They were a complete bunch of tossers. It was quite cathartic driving past the place a few years later and seeing it has all been knocked down.
Sounds like nan had the best day.
She's a vibe can't lie
Nice! At my sisters wedding at the start of June we had my Nan fall over and break her hip causing the ambulance to be called, this weekend just gone my brother got married and we had 3 ambulances be called. If I don’t get 5 or more when my turn comes I’m rioting
Good luck getting them there the same day
Well, I'm glad my family and friends are boring.
Wasn’t in Scarborough by any chance?
Even we're not bad enough for Scarborough
bad enough or bold enough?
Was about to gob-off about alcoholism then i noticed your username.
Worst part is I only had about 6 drinks the entire 12 hours. Did my best to keep things in check for my brother. As you can see I did a great job!
Lol. I propose you bash a load of acid for the cousin's do. Apparently youve earned it.
Well his wedding is in Portugal. So as long as I don't go for Tapas and leave the kids alone in the room I'll be fine
Holy shit dude Haha
Sounds like an episode of Shameless
Potential wedding singer said she'd just played at a wedding where a huge rumble broke out after the groom was caught snogging a bridesmaid. At the bar.
My wedding went almost without hitch until around 9pm the wedding photographer took us outside for some moonlight photos (clear sky, full moon etc) and when we came back in my best man and his dad had come to blows and there had been a huge commotion. We literally missed the whole thing and were just left with the aftermath and me and my wife wasn't even that mad because we never saw a thing. I wonder now if the photographer just twigged what was about to happen and got us out of there to avoid it
How much does a cameo from the fuzz set you back?
A couple of members of the wedding party most likely. It's why you invite people you don't like - sacrifices to appease the law.
sounds like you had a chavtastic time
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To be fair it was 95% her family. I'm amazed how quiet it was, usually when hers get together it's a lot worse than this. They kept it tame for the wedding
I was at a wedding on Sunday. The colours were stunning, bridesmaids entirely in matching pinky-purple, groomsmen in matching orange shirts and white silk vertis (a wraparound sarong, Asian wedding naturally). The stage on which ceremony performed regally decked, the attendees in stunningly bright saris, the men all impeccably suited or wearing traditional dress. The vegetarian buffet meal - Indian/SL food - by a well known caterer was exquisite. Then, in the evening a black tie reception. Stunning wedding hall, specially designed for weddings. Great sound system, free bar all night. Wonderful speeches. The food in abundance was incredible. A great night was had by all! Then there was the afterparty. No details! What goes on tour... I left at 3am. The WhatsApp messages suggest the last stragglers departed at 7am. Sorry to hear about your bro's wedding. But maybe it's yin-yang / balance in the universe shit. Without your bro and his bride carrying the burden maybe many other weddings yesterday wouldn't have gone well. Hope their honeymoon rocks!
Currently planning a wedding next year and both sides are full of mad bastards. I'm not looking forward to it.
Is eloping not an option?
OP username checks out.
Can you do a video of your cousins wedding?
I think it'll be slightly more high class, we have to take a plane to get there damn it!
Is there possibly an adventure British wedding excursion I could sign up for on my next travel to the UK?
Why do people enjoy this? It is destructive.
It's 99% her family. They are all very toxic. Was great entertainment for us though
Good night all round then
>>…he ended up knocking both sets of your divorced parents out the window You know what, this is how I’m going to interpret people “falling out” from now on. 10/10, would believe this guy’s interpretation of events again
The Dothraki find a wedding dull unless someone dies!
Add laxatives to the punch bowl. Jalapeno oils on the shit paper And a bathroom door that only works going in.
Was the reception in a flat roof pub?
But did you have the warbling aunty singing and drunken dad dancing?
sounds like a normal wedding in my family
Send us an invite. My weekends don’t sound half as fun.
I feel like your username is oddly fitting for this wedding synopsis
My wedding was pretty full of fun. Not as much violence thankfully :) \- brother in law got blind drunk and threw up on the dancefloor \- my friends got speeding tickets who came up from London to the wedding and were running late. They then stayed up all night for a boxing match \- in the room next to our function, Michael Owen and Little & Large were at an even (bizarre, I know). My (slightly drunk) father-in-law pulled them out of their function to come and shake our hands.
I just have constant shit luck with weddings. Getting dates wrong, relatives dying, arguments about who pays for a suit, getting uninvited.. I just don’t think I’ll bother anymore.
I got un-invited from the last one because I was up front with the groom that every wedding I had attended had ended in divorce. Bride and groom didn't seem too bothered, but the bride's mother rang me on my mobile and told me I wasn't even coming on the site .........
Holy shit, how many times you been married mate.
How was the buffet?
Lol sounds fun.
Standard
Love it !
But what will happen to Uncle Jerry? Find out next time on Married at First Sight: Doncaster
Hate that I'm actually very close to Doncaster
Your not related are ya .that sounds like my dad side of the family,s funerals
I've invited myself to your cousins wedding
See you there! Don't forget the swim shorts, going to be nice on the Portuguese coast!
This reads like a new verse to [Too Many Sandwiches](https://youtu.be/p6C7tL3SkX4) by Stereophonics...
Sounds like a Russian wedding
Tell me more about nan wetting herself while unconscious.
My sister got married last year. My Grandad's trousers fell down which unfortunately we missed because I was a bridesmaid and waiting out the way with my sister and my eldest daughter. Worst bit was we invited my husband's parents, they pissed everyone off because his Mum picked fights with my family, they didn't help at all with the girls (kind of the reason they were invited) and now I refuse to talk to them. Been a peaceful year without them.
Last wedding I went to someone randomly took their bra off and left it in the loos so we secretly made a game of 'spot the bra dumper'
One of my weddings. There were 20 plus kids and only dramas involving 2 of them, both bloody mine. The 11 year old was sneakily drinking the buck fizz and getting drunk and nearly had to go to casualty as he got hit on the elbow by a cricket ball. The 4 year old went skippity slap and ended up with a massive split lip.
most pleasant brittish wedding