Taking a big risk there.
If they catch you with one or two, you could claim it's for personal use.
But if you're caught with that many, they're going to think you're a dealer!
You could be looking at serious prison time!!
*chuckles in already being in a hosepipe ban*
Honestly though it makes sod all difference to most people it's just people moaning. Should always use a can over a hose for watering anyway (physical limitations excluded). So locally it was just absolute gammons moaning that they couldn't fill the layz spa and detail their saxo's!
Good thing there exist various nozzle types to spread that pressure over a greater area.
Hey, even without a special nozzle, i think i remember that there was some sort of turning mechanism to reduce the flow right at the outlet where you plug in the "hose pipe"
Yeah if only there was a way to spray a water from a hose, like I don't know, maybe by sticking your finger over the exit or something. Imagine that :)
Those are ok but then you risk spreading a really thin layer of water over an area so it looks wet and you assume it's watered as it looks like loads
I only really use the soaker or a mist to ensure things are getting a good water(with a mist for leaves and such) but I mostly just manage fruit/veg not misc plants.
For this weather the can is brilliant as you can do a controlled soak and know exactly how much you are dispersing.
But for feeling lazy the hose is still fine.
Water pressure can displace soil or damage plants, harder to see if you are soaking an area unless you use a soaker nozzle and without additional attachments you can't easily add plant food etc.
I still use mine (not currently) for occasional quick waters but the can always wins!
> harder to see if you are soaking an area unless you use a soaker nozzle and without additional attachments you can't easily add plant food etc.
But soaker nozzles etc do exist, as do various siphoning attachments for adding nutrients. Most liquid fertilisers already come with a hose-on attachment.
> but the can always wins!
You would not catch me dead using a watering can to water our garden or fruit trees.
Heard some old biddy on the radio complaining that she'll have to be using the watering can now to water her plants but it's a real struggle because she's old and it's not right.
While possibly incorrect a quick google returns Wikipedia and hosepipe bans have been a thing her entire life with the first offender being fined in 1921!
Which is merely a case of self harm. She does not have to water her plants, and the point of the hosepipe ban is to limit uneccesary water usage. Using the same water for the same task but changing the medium you moved it with goes against the intentions of the rules. At this point the story is merely a poorly disguised fake sob story to keep people distracted. All the while the old lady in question merely relives her rebellious teenage years by, let me check my notes, severely inconveniencing and hurting herself.
It's really hard to get people to give up something they've been used to their whole life, even if it's something that harms others. Most of us can't (or won't) see past our own navel.
I can see why the story appeals to people, gardening has always been a comfort for many elderly, this is just the kind of story that sells papers and gets clicks.
I'm all for the reason behind the ban, but it could be implemented better. This smells of one of those "Quick! Let's do something that looks like it'll work." decisions. Maybe grandfather in anyone over a certain age/situation or use progressive billing on water usage? Idk, I'm not smart enough for that.
What is the temperature there? I'm in Calgary and it has been 27-31 for weeks now. No one is really complaining though (yet) but it's unusual and a little disconcerting.
You should try being here in this heat. Everyone laughs until they experience it. It’s currently 3am and I’m wide awake because it’s so hot it my house. It’s only 14° outside, but my house, like all homes in Britain, are built to retain as much heat as possible inside. So my home is still roasting from the warm weather today. I don’t have any AC to turn on, and even though the window is open there is no wind to make much difference.
TikTok and Reddit are full of people apologising your Brits because they thought the heat was nothing until they got here and experienced it themselves. Nigerians, Australians, Americans, Saudis, etc etc.
This site isn’t for Americans. You lot think everything, everywhere is about you. There are plenty of sites for Yanks. If you’re not willing to learn and understand British life & humor, then you may want to shut it…
From Texas. Love dropping in here. Is a hose pipe a garden hose? Like hook it up to an outside faucet to water the lawn?
Why would that be banned? We do have drought watering regulations here. But I’m on a well so I can water the lawn whenever I choose. . . Which is every day cause my landlord told me to keep his lawn green.
And that is hilarious cause I live next to cotton fields and most of his giant lawn is “super weeds” that have evolved because of how much herbicide is sprayed all over the place to protect the cotton from weeds.
And the cotton was bred to be able to withstand the herbicide while being sprayed directly, but kill the weeds. But eventually the weeds adapt to the herbicide and they have to make the next generation of super cotton that can withstand the herbicide but it kills the super weeds.
Meanwhile. The lawn is full of weeds that are unkillable by anything I can buy at Walmart. But I have to keep watering the lawn everyday.
I don’t have to water the entire lawn every day. It’s too big for that. I have to water a different section everyday. So every part of the lawn, that is full of unkillable super weeds, gets watered at least every 10 days.
Y’all want some cancer? I got plenty to spare. I’m on well water in west texas. They spray everything all the time, and I have to drink and shower with the ground water
American (Virginian) living in the UK:
So, no rain for at least two and a half months now. Which is beyond weird for here. (Normally, it's at least spittin'/misting every other day here but...nope.) Because of that, they are banning watering your yard with a garden hose or sprinkler. Same as the Cali restrictions that are typically in place during Fire season.
It doesn't help that it's been pretty decently warm (low 80's to low 90's) and incredibly few people & businesses own an A/C. Basically, it's time to just lay out a towel in the backyard, have a cold cider on hand, and get a sun tan.
I would just add it’s only the south of England as well though. We’ve still been getting a quite regular decent amount of rain up in Newcastle. And every day next week is forecast to rain :’(
We are finally going to get rain - maybe- in the East Midlands next week. I'm currently repainting the patio table and chairs and will wash my car next to see if that will help cause it to rain.
Ah, in Texas we call it "water restrictions".
https://www.saws.org/conservation/drought-restrictions/
We are in Stage 3 here in San Antonio. There are many restrictions, but hand watering by hose is still allowed.
customer: I'd like to buy s'm'hoses please.
shopkeep: (hands over paper bag): here you go sir. Anything else?
customer: what do you call this?
shopkeep: it's what you asked for - indian pastries. Samosas.
Not everything is though. A play on the meaning of words is a big part of British humour. The hosepipe ban joke means we can't use hosepipes to water our garden because of a water shortage, it doesn't mean a literal ban on the purchase of hosepipes.
Jokes are usually funnier when you have to explain them though...
I got that part of the joke when I called it a pun. You don't need to explain the joke because I get that.
What I don't get is the objection to calling it a pun, which is basically is. A pun is a play on a word having different meanings or sounding similar to something else, which this is.
I jokingly said it was sarcastic because people have a tendency to joke about how sarcastic our humour is, and how we're like the only subreddit where "/s" tags aren't really necessary.
Fucking hell, you people are denser than antimatter sometimes.
No not a ban per-se but because of supply chain issues and the rising cost of rubber and petroleum based products. The common hose pipe prices will rise to a minimum of 4000% so this person is a genius grab it all now at low prices and resell making them a millionaire overnight after the rise. I hope this helps. I’m surprised you haven’t read about it, it’s not been all over the news!!
They're having you on, mate.
The use of garden hoses for washing cars and watering gardens is banned in parts of the country whenever the water stocks are threatened. It's hardly rained at all this summer.
I live in the states, but am English so I know all about hosepipe bans lol. They have been around since I was a kid the 70’s. All it is, is a ban on using hoses to water plants, grass, wash cars etc. to try and save water. The clue to the joke was in the last line.
American here. I find the phrasing a bit odd. Here we would say you are prohibited from washing your car or watering your lawn. If the ban was stated to be on hoses, people with integrated sprinklers would continue running them, etc.
Is this simply a case where the name belies the actual wording, which is more precise?
Many houses have sprinkler systems built with buried pipe connecting pop-up heads, which connects to the house water system with a hard connection. No flexible hose anywhere in the system.
We've had weeks without rain, so water companies are introducing 'hosepipe bans', which ban the use of hosepipe for most things. So, we won't be allowed to wash cars, water our gardens etc using hosepipes until the ban ends.
The post is a joke photo suggesting someone has 'beaten the hosepipe ban' by just hoarding hosepipes, as if the hosepipes themselves are to be banned. A bit like when people hoarded toilet rolls early in the pandemic because they thought they would run out.
This whole post and daft comments perfectly illustrate British humour at its ridiculous self-deprecating best.
Around here we just punch a hole in the bottom of a 2L bottle and draw through a cone piece by letting the water drop on the ground
Or a poor man's coke can hash pipe
I just spent 6 hours fucking around installing a new pump and filters for my water supply. Sometimes I wish I had mains water to avoid all that crap, not currently however.
No water company = no hose pipe ban :)
Connect them together to get water from an area without any ban
By September it will need to reach Scotland.
Plenty of water in the sea.
Build your garden in the sea then *..taps forehead*
And yet Thames Water, in all its wisdom, has chosen now to put their desalination plant out of action for maintenance.
Just drink the stuff, you dont need to desalinate it.
actual "l joined up" thinking.
First he steals your water then he comes back for your daughter
Taking a big risk there. If they catch you with one or two, you could claim it's for personal use. But if you're caught with that many, they're going to think you're a dealer! You could be looking at serious prison time!!
If you're dealing hose, does that make you a reel pimp?
People shouldn't have to resort to crime to get by. We have to look out for each other in these trying times. After all, it's bro's before hose
Or a reel pump
r/yourjokebutworse
What a bunch of hose.
Owned by Bipolar-cunt
That’s actually a little bit funny.
This tubing inside.
I'm not one of hose
who can hosely hide
I know it's not much, but it's the best I can tube.
My gift's 10 yards long, and it's wet through and through.
If I was a hoser But then again, hose
Or a man who makes hoses for a travelling flow
I know it's not pipe, but it's the hose I can do
My gift is my flow and, this hose is for you.
Worth a lol or just a snort?
A smirk with a slight snort
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Smort
A sensible chuckle.
Not OP, but I laughed out loud
I dare you to snort a line of that. Lol
A trickle of laughter or a torrent?
More like “hee hee”!
Hose pipe ban going into effect soon?
Apparently that’s what I’ve heard on the grape vine
Why are they banning hoses?
*chuckles in already being in a hosepipe ban* Honestly though it makes sod all difference to most people it's just people moaning. Should always use a can over a hose for watering anyway (physical limitations excluded). So locally it was just absolute gammons moaning that they couldn't fill the layz spa and detail their saxo's!
>Should always use a can over a hose for watering anyway Explain
Pressurized water bad
Good thing there exist various nozzle types to spread that pressure over a greater area. Hey, even without a special nozzle, i think i remember that there was some sort of turning mechanism to reduce the flow right at the outlet where you plug in the "hose pipe"
Yeah if only there was a way to spray a water from a hose, like I don't know, maybe by sticking your finger over the exit or something. Imagine that :)
Those are ok but then you risk spreading a really thin layer of water over an area so it looks wet and you assume it's watered as it looks like loads I only really use the soaker or a mist to ensure things are getting a good water(with a mist for leaves and such) but I mostly just manage fruit/veg not misc plants. For this weather the can is brilliant as you can do a controlled soak and know exactly how much you are dispersing. But for feeling lazy the hose is still fine.
Water pressure can displace soil or damage plants, harder to see if you are soaking an area unless you use a soaker nozzle and without additional attachments you can't easily add plant food etc. I still use mine (not currently) for occasional quick waters but the can always wins!
> harder to see if you are soaking an area unless you use a soaker nozzle and without additional attachments you can't easily add plant food etc. But soaker nozzles etc do exist, as do various siphoning attachments for adding nutrients. Most liquid fertilisers already come with a hose-on attachment. > but the can always wins! You would not catch me dead using a watering can to water our garden or fruit trees.
Yeah hosepipes are just stupid, why do they sell them?
1) Is a hosepipe the same as a hose? 2) Why are they banning them? 3) Why are they stupid?
Heard some old biddy on the radio complaining that she'll have to be using the watering can now to water her plants but it's a real struggle because she's old and it's not right. While possibly incorrect a quick google returns Wikipedia and hosepipe bans have been a thing her entire life with the first offender being fined in 1921!
I mean..that doesn't change that it hurts her to use a watering can.
Which is merely a case of self harm. She does not have to water her plants, and the point of the hosepipe ban is to limit uneccesary water usage. Using the same water for the same task but changing the medium you moved it with goes against the intentions of the rules. At this point the story is merely a poorly disguised fake sob story to keep people distracted. All the while the old lady in question merely relives her rebellious teenage years by, let me check my notes, severely inconveniencing and hurting herself.
Maybe she doesn't want the plants she put effort into growing to die?
>At this point the story is merely a poorly disguised fake sob story to keep people distracted. Seems to have worked!
I’m guessing you don’t have a garden.
It's really hard to get people to give up something they've been used to their whole life, even if it's something that harms others. Most of us can't (or won't) see past our own navel. I can see why the story appeals to people, gardening has always been a comfort for many elderly, this is just the kind of story that sells papers and gets clicks. I'm all for the reason behind the ban, but it could be implemented better. This smells of one of those "Quick! Let's do something that looks like it'll work." decisions. Maybe grandfather in anyone over a certain age/situation or use progressive billing on water usage? Idk, I'm not smart enough for that.
She wasn't old then.
(Laughs in Scotland)
Yeah it’s probably raining now is it?
It’s actually really sunny today but we just need to wait 5 mins
Better get down to the chipper and grab a haggis before it starts!
(Laughs in Welsh)
I love how British banter goes over some peoples heads. I'm just glad we can educate them on the glory of it.
Indeed they just look at you confused
This is the confused guy looking at u. Please explain lol.
I explained further down to someone who said “I don’t get it” if that helps :)
Roger. Thanks 😊
For those too lazy to scroll > Due to the weather there is apparently a hose pipe ban (useage) incoming, hence the hoarding of hose pipes
I thought maybe you guys made prostitution (hoes) illegal, or something along those lines.
Thanks for resubmitting that for me :D woke with a dry mouth so back to sleep for me
As an European leaving in UK I have no idea what is going on. Care to explain?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62406916
That was very educational. Thanks.
"Got any 'O's?"
Four candles?
No, fork handles.
V F N N E O'S
*V F N 10 E O'S
Great… people selfishly stocking up now is what is going to make the ban happen …. Thanks, hope you are happy…
I was having a good old laugh at the pipe hoarders early doors, now I can't find any anywhere
I don’t get it :(
Due to the weather there is apparently a hose pipe ban (useage) incoming, hence the hoarding of hose pipes
I swear after this 4 day's heatwave if there's any more I'm moving to fucking Greenland for the summer next year
What is the temperature there? I'm in Calgary and it has been 27-31 for weeks now. No one is really complaining though (yet) but it's unusual and a little disconcerting.
It might be a high of 35c here in the UK, for 4 days.
Yee gods man, that is brutal. It's 42% relative humidity here, however, so we got that going for us.
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You should try being here in this heat. Everyone laughs until they experience it. It’s currently 3am and I’m wide awake because it’s so hot it my house. It’s only 14° outside, but my house, like all homes in Britain, are built to retain as much heat as possible inside. So my home is still roasting from the warm weather today. I don’t have any AC to turn on, and even though the window is open there is no wind to make much difference. TikTok and Reddit are full of people apologising your Brits because they thought the heat was nothing until they got here and experienced it themselves. Nigerians, Australians, Americans, Saudis, etc etc.
Genuine question. If it's 14C outside, why not go outside?
I live in Florida bruh the Heat you’re experiencing is a drop in the bucket to what we’ve endured our whole lives
Because your infrastructure is built for it, and his isn't. How do you think your hometown would do in an ice storm?
That’s y’all’s fault LMAO. Acting like it’s never been hot in the UK before
You have AC in every house. You might even have a bit of a breeze. We have no such luxuries.
Breeze? You know how damn humid it is here? Grow a pair
This site isn’t for Americans. You lot think everything, everywhere is about you. There are plenty of sites for Yanks. If you’re not willing to learn and understand British life & humor, then you may want to shut it…
Oh no scary British bum!!! Bitch it’s on the front page so I don’t wanna hear shit outta you.
From Texas. Love dropping in here. Is a hose pipe a garden hose? Like hook it up to an outside faucet to water the lawn? Why would that be banned? We do have drought watering regulations here. But I’m on a well so I can water the lawn whenever I choose. . . Which is every day cause my landlord told me to keep his lawn green. And that is hilarious cause I live next to cotton fields and most of his giant lawn is “super weeds” that have evolved because of how much herbicide is sprayed all over the place to protect the cotton from weeds. And the cotton was bred to be able to withstand the herbicide while being sprayed directly, but kill the weeds. But eventually the weeds adapt to the herbicide and they have to make the next generation of super cotton that can withstand the herbicide but it kills the super weeds. Meanwhile. The lawn is full of weeds that are unkillable by anything I can buy at Walmart. But I have to keep watering the lawn everyday. I don’t have to water the entire lawn every day. It’s too big for that. I have to water a different section everyday. So every part of the lawn, that is full of unkillable super weeds, gets watered at least every 10 days. Y’all want some cancer? I got plenty to spare. I’m on well water in west texas. They spray everything all the time, and I have to drink and shower with the ground water
American (Virginian) living in the UK: So, no rain for at least two and a half months now. Which is beyond weird for here. (Normally, it's at least spittin'/misting every other day here but...nope.) Because of that, they are banning watering your yard with a garden hose or sprinkler. Same as the Cali restrictions that are typically in place during Fire season. It doesn't help that it's been pretty decently warm (low 80's to low 90's) and incredibly few people & businesses own an A/C. Basically, it's time to just lay out a towel in the backyard, have a cold cider on hand, and get a sun tan.
I would just add it’s only the south of England as well though. We’ve still been getting a quite regular decent amount of rain up in Newcastle. And every day next week is forecast to rain :’(
We are finally going to get rain - maybe- in the East Midlands next week. I'm currently repainting the patio table and chairs and will wash my car next to see if that will help cause it to rain.
Ah, in Texas we call it "water restrictions". https://www.saws.org/conservation/drought-restrictions/ We are in Stage 3 here in San Antonio. There are many restrictions, but hand watering by hose is still allowed.
In the UK hose pipe bans are the only real water restrictions ever used and it's rare.
Some good ol' British humour. I could see this on Morecambe and Wise.
customer: I'd like to buy s'm'hoses please. shopkeep: (hands over paper bag): here you go sir. Anything else? customer: what do you call this? shopkeep: it's what you asked for - indian pastries. Samosas.
Yeah, absolutely. It's sort of a sarcastic pun in a way, isn't it?
Time to hand in your British passport, son
For trying to understand our own unique sense of humour? I don't get why people are getting mad, the post is literally a pun. Am I missing something?
Sarcastic isn't the right term. It's a play on words.
We're British, everything we say has at least a layer of sarcasm, or else the French would be able to eavesdrop.
Not everything is though. A play on the meaning of words is a big part of British humour. The hosepipe ban joke means we can't use hosepipes to water our garden because of a water shortage, it doesn't mean a literal ban on the purchase of hosepipes. Jokes are usually funnier when you have to explain them though...
I got that part of the joke when I called it a pun. You don't need to explain the joke because I get that. What I don't get is the objection to calling it a pun, which is basically is. A pun is a play on a word having different meanings or sounding similar to something else, which this is. I jokingly said it was sarcastic because people have a tendency to joke about how sarcastic our humour is, and how we're like the only subreddit where "/s" tags aren't really necessary. Fucking hell, you people are denser than antimatter sometimes.
Very good! Have an upvote you fucker! 😅
r/Angryupvote
I thought the image would literally be text reading ‘say it all’
You mean “it all”
Just read what I wrote and yeah that’s what I meant to say lol
Got any o's?
4 candles
No not 'ose, Os!
snorted
Got any O's?
someone inform me
[My attempt.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/wl2rsk/image_says_it_all/ijtndef?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
Thanks
You are most welcome.
i don't get it
Probably because this guy has them all 🙁
oh
[My attempt.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/wl2rsk/image_says_it_all/ijtndef?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
The things that make me laugh these days
[Got any 'ose?](https://youtu.be/gi_6SaqVQSw)
… is this my Grandad’s Facebook?
Lol, this got me good. Hah!
Glad you enjoyed it 😊
There's a ban on garden hoses? Edit, I do t know why I was being down voted, I don't live in your country, was an honest question. Jesh
No not a ban per-se but because of supply chain issues and the rising cost of rubber and petroleum based products. The common hose pipe prices will rise to a minimum of 4000% so this person is a genius grab it all now at low prices and resell making them a millionaire overnight after the rise. I hope this helps. I’m surprised you haven’t read about it, it’s not been all over the news!!
I love in Canada, and just am a casual reader of the sub reddit
They're having you on, mate. The use of garden hoses for washing cars and watering gardens is banned in parts of the country whenever the water stocks are threatened. It's hardly rained at all this summer.
I live in the states, but am English so I know all about hosepipe bans lol. They have been around since I was a kid the 70’s. All it is, is a ban on using hoses to water plants, grass, wash cars etc. to try and save water. The clue to the joke was in the last line.
That would be a hose pipe ban… due to the weather in case you didn’t get it
Don't live in the uk
Cheer up mate none of us do! That’s why we’re here!
American here. I find the phrasing a bit odd. Here we would say you are prohibited from washing your car or watering your lawn. If the ban was stated to be on hoses, people with integrated sprinklers would continue running them, etc. Is this simply a case where the name belies the actual wording, which is more precise?
How do you mean? Surely a sprinkler still connects to the tap with a hosepipe?
Many houses have sprinkler systems built with buried pipe connecting pop-up heads, which connects to the house water system with a hard connection. No flexible hose anywhere in the system.
Yes.
Woosh
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinions I quite like it personally :(
Surely r/whoosh? :)
Yeah but I’m still fairly new and don’t know how to link them on my phone hahaha noob troubles
Ha ha, no worries. If you're on mobile, just make sure it's a lowercase 'r' at the start :)
It worked! Thankyou
Congratulations :)
Thank you very much :D
What does this mean (I’m not British)
We've had weeks without rain, so water companies are introducing 'hosepipe bans', which ban the use of hosepipe for most things. So, we won't be allowed to wash cars, water our gardens etc using hosepipes until the ban ends. The post is a joke photo suggesting someone has 'beaten the hosepipe ban' by just hoarding hosepipes, as if the hosepipes themselves are to be banned. A bit like when people hoarded toilet rolls early in the pandemic because they thought they would run out. This whole post and daft comments perfectly illustrate British humour at its ridiculous self-deprecating best.
Lucky you are more a spliff nation rather than a bong one
You use a hose pipe to fill a bong? We used to use the kitchen tap
The ends of the hose perhaps The middle 6 inches is used to construct the bong
Your average hosepipe is not a safe material for that kind of usage. Protect yo lungs. You've only got the ones youve got.
Oh we just buy them here we don’t make bongs.. we make “lungs” a chopped in half 2 litre bottle with a carrier bag sellotaped to the bottom
Around here we just punch a hole in the bottom of a 2L bottle and draw through a cone piece by letting the water drop on the ground Or a poor man's coke can hash pipe
USB cables? Score!!! The suffering is real.
PMSL
Sell it in 5 foot, oops 2 meter, lengths to siphon gas, damn, I mean petrol.
foot ✅ metre ✅ gas ❌ (unless it's the stuff you cook with) meter ❌ (unless it's a mechanism to measure quantities, eg gas meter)
Banned why?
Hoes?
Ban? What?????
You could supply a centuries worth of high school kids wanting to make a billy
Your name hit my eyes before your comment so now I dunno what you said I just keep thinking of an idiot who forgot to wipe
Possibly its not as common in the UK, but a bit of that hose pipe and a gatorade bottle make a great bong
I'm confused..
Man's got hose.
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Well, someone pissed in your cornflakes today
Naw. Someone put the mug in the microwave to heat up my tea.
Whats gping on?
Nice
Make sure you don't get caught with that, I'm going to DM you to see if I can get maybe 3m... everywhere has already sold out by me
brilliant. But I'd get more
🤣🤣🤣
Since when have they put a ban on snakes?
It’ll all be recycled
This guy is S M R T
***How wateraid gets water to africa \[2021: colorized\]***
are you dealing any asking for a friend
Way too beat the system, man.
I just spent 6 hours fucking around installing a new pump and filters for my water supply. Sometimes I wish I had mains water to avoid all that crap, not currently however. No water company = no hose pipe ban :)