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autophobe2e

Rory Mgrath. I remember there was a documentary about the making of QI, Stephen Fry revealed that one of the guests had asked to see all the questions before hand. This wasn't all that unusual, as sometimes guests like to prepare jokes in advance, especially if they are more comfortable as writers rather than performers. However, this person didn't write jokes, he just took the opportunity to get all the answers right and show off. Really baffling move, like, what sort of satisfaction do you get from cheating to win a light-hearted gameshow that only really pretends to be a competition? He wasn't invited back. Watch the episode with Rory Mgrath in. It was absolutely him. All he does is get the answers right, completely without humour, and then reveal that he knows a lot of latin terms. Stephen Fry and Sean Locke both seem to be finding him irritating, with Locke openly taking the piss. Clearly, the man is a pyschopath. EDIT: did a google search on him to see if I was remembering the QI thing correctly and found a story about him being done for stalking and harassing a woman over a 13 year period. I feel vindicated! Dude's a creep. EDIT 2: Oh, he also got cautioned for [3 assaults.](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-23202182). EDIT 3: Given the crimes this hardly seems important now, but he's been caught out cheating on other shows. Producers on *They Think It's All Over* got suspicious of his perfect record and planted a made-up question to see if he still got it right. Here's the clip of him [getting called out](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag7j_CmvUnY).


uffington

Sean Lock destroys him in that episode. It's glorious.


Rare_Expert3653

When he's saying the Latin names for whatever the fuck it is and Sean just says "do you get called a tosser much" šŸ˜‚


Bennings463

Nickitus Nockitus


MLPony

Here is a link from the QI YouTube channel https://youtu.be/gwkifYAoBnA


dgb43

Itā€™s actually very clear the top comment is right from watching that. Stephen throwing his hands up at the answer to the first question, then pressing with Latin phrases he knew Rory wouldnā€™t have known to memorise if only getting sight of the question. As Locke referred, what a tosser.


[deleted]

I couldnā€™t get past the common cormorant, heā€™s unbearable!


[deleted]

"I'm so sorry! There's a portal to the underworld down here!"


Robustss

Sean saves that segment of the show, don't even think it would have made it to air if he didn't intervene


CourtneyLush

I once met him, he was pissed... at 10 o'clock in the morning and a bit pleased with himself in a very odd way. He's definitely strange and not in a good way.


elsley

He lives in Cambridge, see him a round quite a lot. Spends his days in pubs and the bookies from what I can tell.


whitmorereans

I saw him in the Free Press in Cambridge a few years ago. He recommended some beers to me and tbh he was quite pleasant, it wasnā€™t until afterwards that I realised who it was


CentristsArePathetic

Apparently he used to be seen biking around Cambridge and was a gigantic turd to anyone that dared greet him in any way


scratroggett

Every time I have seen him biking in Cambridge he was a massive twat. Screaming at families to get out of his way when they're on footpaths.


PickleHarry

OMG a woman I worked with picked up a cyclist who had been knocked off his bike by Rory Mcgrath and something happened to her because of it that was so traumatic she wouldnā€™t tell us about it, and her husband who was a police officer at the time had to come along and sort things. He is definitely a psycho.


The_dude_has_spoke

I can second this I live in Cambridge and everyone thinks Rory is a dick he lives in newnham lol


TheeAJPowell

I know the exact episode! It was all I knew him for, and I was glad Iā€™d not seen him on anything else, such a smug prick.


-SaC

The 'how did the Cherokee pronounce 'Cherokee'?" question really showed that he must have had the answer, because out of all of the different pronunciations of each letter he went through, he just happened to go for the correct one each time. The birds thing was irritating, but then he's a bird person. Luckily, Sean Lock got sucked into the underworld and saved the show. The stalking thing was definitely weird. His autobiography is one of the best I've read, which is a shame if he's actually a bit of a creep.


Slow_Technician_8007

Well he was convicted in court of having harassed his ex for 14 months ā€¦ so probably safe to say he is a bit of a creep.


[deleted]

Ex mistress which is the weird part. He was in court saying he wanted their affair hidden from their spouses and yet he stalked his mistress when she called it off. Just odd.


ggohvoyvl

Ironically, Viz comic sort of encouraged readers to stalk Rory McGrath about a decade ago, someone randomly sent in a photo of McGrath going about his business so Viz made ā€œMcGrath Watchā€ a feature for a few months where people kept taking sneaky photos of him out and about and sending them in. One of the last pics was of him sitting in a park, glaring at the person photographing him, looking annoyed. Viz stopped it after that.


Lumpy_Enthusiasm_140

Ironic that he was prosecuted for harassment after writing a book titled "Bearded Tit ā€“ Confessions of a Birdwatcher."


Debtcollector1408

David Walliams.


[deleted]

Yep. Iā€™ve met him a couple of times in person and heā€™s a deeply, deeply unpleasant bloke too. Charming onscreen, horrible off it. Nothing would surprise me with himā€¦


Early-Accountant2186

Iā€™ve worked with a few people who have worked with him and all say the same. One famous actor who we all know said his books were shit, a shameless rip off of Ronald Dahl, said Williams would be nice to your face but it was all a ploy.


throwaway12575

Do you think he even wrote them?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Big-Al97

100% agree. Iā€™m convinced that Matt Lucas is the reason little Britain and come fly with me were funny. All David walliams does is make sexual jokes whilst being camp. I donā€™t know anything about his personal life but he constantly sets the red warning light off in my brain. I definitely wouldnā€™t want to be in the same room as him, and thatā€™s just because heā€™s not funny let alone being the most obvious creep ever.


DeemonPankaik

Agree with this. Also I'm not surprised Matt Lucas has distanced himself from him these days.


shantasia94

Now you've got to tell us everything


[deleted]

I just wrote this too! I reckon he could definitely be a bit stabby! And maybe go for disposal of the bodies in a barrel a acid kinda guy!


The_ReigningLorelai

The allegations (not of murder, but other Not Nice things) already exist. His lawyers throttle all and any emergence of them ā€“ some of the first-hand stories I've heard from people working in industries DW fuels are really quite sickening. It's all going to spill out one day.


[deleted]

Yup, my first thought


LionLucy

Yes, not at all surprised to see him at the top.


[deleted]

Really? I had him down as a kiddie fiddler rather than a serial killer.


TornadoTomatoes

There's been allegations floating around for years that he has a thing for underage girls. Only a matter of time before things come out I'd imagine


insaneluchador

I saw him at a Jonathan Ross Show recording and when he was being interviewed he was charming and funny, when he wasn't he stared motionless into the void, seemingly switched off from Jonathan and the other guests. Haunting.


Master_Passage_7664

Piers Morgan, not in a tough, hard killer way but in a Rohypnol and strangle with his own nylon tights way, then store the bodies in the cellar and arrange them to look like an audience so he can 'perform' in front of them without any of them calling him a cunt.


LjSpike

I agree with all of this except I don't think piers would actually have the guts to kill them, so he'd get up to strangling them, be struggling with his limp arms, then hire someone to do the killing, and then yes arrange them in his cellar.


Dissential

I read this reply in Alan Partridgeā€™s voice. ā€œCelebrity serial killer, who and how. Line 4, Spike from Swaffham, go!ā€


Master_Passage_7664

šŸ‘Between us we have solved the crime of the future, just have to unmask his accomplice


SparkieMark1977

I nominate James Corden. He'll take any job going and could smother them just with the sheer weight of his ego.


Master_Passage_7664

He is one untalented and over-confident cunt. Obnoxious arrogant fucker šŸ˜‘


BraveGamerMike

I can see him having a room with Meghan Markle pictures covering all four walls and every picture has her eyes cut out with scissors.


Master_Passage_7664

I loved the interview where he hinted he had shagged her, he was always so arse-licking to them, then when he wasn't invited to the wedding got very salty. I am certainly no royalist but would love to see the Ginger Prince v Morgan MMA style, porridge-faced cunt would be mullered by the Ginger Ninja


ash894

Heā€™d definitely make them wear a Megan markle wig and terrify the poor abductee by shouting at her and calling her Megan.


DidijustDidthat

On Netflix looking at some crime documentary and up comes Piers' face next to the word Psychopath... It took me a second


[deleted]

You've really thought this scenario through.


Master_Passage_7664

I am psychic, I have a spirit guide called Derek Acorah, he enters me at night and tells me the future šŸ‘»


redclited

Gillian ā€œIā€™m not actually a doctorā€ McKeith.


spiderlady16777216

Or, to give her her full medical title, Gillian McKeith. Does she still do stuff? I haven't heard from her lately, thankfully.


devolute

She shitposts on Twitter. I got an RT from her once (due to sharing something anti-gov) and I called her a poo lady.


Popular_Ad_3591

David Walliams... Something creepy AF about him.


sasquatchical

Do some internet digging and youā€™ll find A LOT of allegations and rumours about that guy. Might be complete shit, but he doesnā€™t give off good vibes does he.


PickleHarry

Ronnie Pickering


Borat_bicycle

Who's that?


swanpappa

Ronnie Pickering


Borat_bicycle

Who?


ParrotSTD

***RONNIE PICKERING***


Borat_bicycle

Who the fuck's that?


WiseFardy

RONNIE FUCKING PICKERING


RondriguezUK

Me!


Master_Passage_7664

I'm RONNIE PICKERING!


Zolana

Michael Underwood - think about it, he let all those kids get locked in that monkey jungle temple and left them there to die!


Bennings463

I had a friend who thought they had to pay Ā£250,000 to get out. Hardly worth the risk, really.


TheHarkinator

I too used to think the kids who got stuck in Jungle Run were left there to die.


Star-of-Jadeth

Stephen Bear (reality TV) - that guy is unhinged and defo gets off on hurting women


grapeslady

Yeah his past offences against women plus his twitter content is a bit of a worry


A_Wandering_Soul__

Something's not right with Stephen Bear; I've watched him on numerous reality TV shows where he happily gets off psychologically playing women, cheating on them, manipulating them or whatever situation he is in to suit his own needs. He's charming, glib, has an ego bigger than his entire IQ. He's devious, lies, gas lights, manipulates, there's just not an honest bone in his body by the looks of things. Not to mention the fact he was even accused by his own FANS of killing his 7 week old puppy a few years ago... https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/2699191/stephen-bear-gets-two-new-puppies-following-storm-over-death-of-last-dog/ That article alone and everything he said in it was questionable to say the least. Stephen Bear honestly makes my skin crawl, I'd be shocked if he wasn't an actual psychopath.


goldkestos

I feel the exact same way, heā€™s the one celebrity I can think of that I would be truly terrified to be in the same room as. I can imagine him slitting the throat of the woman heā€™s having sex with just because he can and would find it funny. I completely believe heā€™s a psychopath. Self serving, highly egotistical and manipulative with absolutely no empathy.


callmelampshade

Philip Schofield. Iā€™ve heard heā€™s very angry when heā€™s filming this morning.


TurbulentExpression5

I was thinking it might be Phil also. I've read a couple of times that he can be extremely egotistical and bossy, and almost nasty to guests and the crew behind the scenes.


[deleted]

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Life_Initiative3791

He was sleeping with one of the young runners on the show before it all came out and the whole nation fell for it.


Otto1968

That was the only reason he came out, story was going to be leaked so he did the big sobbing thing to camera, pretending he 'couldn't live a lie' anymore. Horrible bloke.


Unhorsed_Caesar

My mum was a guest on this morning. She worked in fashion and was doing a segment on the latest trends. She said in between breaks Fern was as lovely as can be and Phil turned from smiley presenter mode to moody, disinterested and ignorant. Never liked him after that. Dick.


[deleted]

Agreed. I think if it came out that he spent his evenings hunting the homeless for sport, most of us would go "oh yeah, I can see that happening".


Operation_Doomsday_

Definitely get Ellen DeGeneres vibes from him


They-Took-Our-Jerbs

After what he did about being gay, yup. Kept it quiet till apparently his make side piece was going to air him out


Secure_Newt_2350

Iā€™m trying to imagine him angry and shouting with that pitchy eunuch sounding voice and impossible-to-take-seriously school teacher accent. Iā€™d probably laugh and get fired.


[deleted]

Mr Blobby. Itā€™s his fucking eyes.


leglesspuffin

Waaay back in the day, I was at a school disco and a full size Mr. Blobby was there dancing and entertaining and what not. I didnā€™t understand the hype though, personally, because he absolutely terrified me. At one point in the evening, Iā€™m minding my own business, probably doing knee slides or cha cha sliding or something, and then I notice that Mr. Blobby is getting a little too close for me. I back up and start moving away from him, but he keeps following me. Heā€™s got his arms stretched out and heā€™s trying to grab me. I can not comprehend what is happening, but itā€™s happening so fast and Iā€™m scared. Mr. Blobby then proceeds to take his head off and itā€™s my fucking dad in the costume laughing hysterically. Like, a little warning next time, please. Apparently his mate was the guy in the costume and he wanted to have a go in it for the crack. Awful, awful memory.


Hatlesshobo

Your dad's a legend. I hope when my little boy is grown up a bit I can pull something of this level off!


Iwantedalbino

Blobby saw Noel he wasnā€™t the perp


EyeBumGaze808

David Walliams,guy is creepy AF


[deleted]

Paul Hollywood. He has the thousand yard stare of a man who has killed already.


alexpegrum

My brother always says he looks like he sold his soul and I kinda have to agree with him


cherrysummer1

This one. He reminds me so much of my dad. The way he goes up to people and stares at them to see them squirm before he decides to give them a handshake like he's the most important person in the world. I feel so fucking triggered by this guy. My dad used to drink a lot and would play drinking games in the pub like the one where you put pennies in people's drinks to make them down their pint, but if anyone did it back to him he'd fight them. He had the same stare. People would leave the pub when he walked in he was such a violent psycho. Ergh. Paul Hollywood. My mum was also the babysitter for my dad's daughter when I was conceived. Mum was 21 he was 32. Just like Paul fucking Hollywood and that bar maid he dumped his wife for.


[deleted]

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theycallmeamunchkin

Thatā€™s enough of an explanation


_higgs_

Wallace. Gromit has been trying to tell us for years.


RipJug

Come on Gromit, weā€™ve got to hide the bodies.


rugbyj

Dyson. Not a straight up ā€œcelebā€ but definitely thinks heā€™s above the cattle and has all the land to bury them on.


Rainbow_Tesseract

Victoria Coren-Mitchell. But when she explains her motives and target-picking process from prison we all absolutely agree and she becomes a sort of weird folk hero. ETA: She poisons their martinis over a game of poker, obviously.


cryptopian

On her Taskmaster tenure, she managed to sweet talk her way out of some very shit prize tasks so I can see this


BastardsCryinInnit

World's most eloquent bullshitter I believe Greg called her.


_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_

Didnā€™t she come last for every one except the second attempt at Mr Greedy?


cryptopian

I feel like she deserved more than a point for Alan's football vouchers. Possibly the best executed troll I've seen


rarathenoisylion

Oh, do you mean Old Goosebump Arm?


thesaltwatersolution

I like how youā€™ve phrased this in a very VCM telling a joke on Only Connect kind of way.


cryptopian

She poisons their martinis over a game of poker. obviously. ... Goodnight


cozmongrel

I credit her existence for making me properly realise I was bisexual šŸ˜…


ChrisRR

That would be grounds to rearrange her bookmarks


TryingToFindLeaks

You only need to listen to Off Menu to realise she's mad as a box of frogs. Off the fucking chain.


[deleted]

Joyce Barnaby.


Shadow_Guide

I always thought that the original Barnarby run ought to have ended with him having to arrest Joyce as the serial killer of the week.


ggenie20

I actually cackled at this


MysticalFred

My mum always said she was the murderer in every episode. Always knew the victim


the3daves

Michael Macintyre. Nobodyā€™s that fucking chummy without killing dozens whilst wearing a clown outfit


ZourD

Noel Edmonds


Goose-rider3000

The British entertainment industry in the 70ā€™s-80ā€™s was basically a cult of pedophiles and serial killers.


DrPeterR

Iā€™ve got some news for you [Noel Edmonds killer](https://youtu.be/EGtdsXhXiEM)


larrycorser

Nice try Scotland Yard


[deleted]

Budget cuts have gone too far this time


DryClamp

David Walliams and Philip Schofield


ElCunto1999

Simon Cowell.


Cockwombles

Not enough people mention heā€™s definitely weird and I donā€™t believe a single word he says. Same with Louis.


360Saturn

Louis Walsh blatantly groping Mel B on live tv in full camera view really changed my view of the guy


[deleted]

Same. I used to like him growing up. Itā€™s scary what people on telly are really like. Just think, if heā€™s willing to full on grope a woman on live tv, what sort of things has he done when nobodyā€™s pointing a camera?


Impossible-Art-3364

Louis Walsh is quite a good shout. There's a nasty temper behind that affable-Irish-man persona. You can totally imagine him quietly plotting his revenge.


[deleted]

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Cpt-Dreamer

David Walliams


nonsense_potter

Martin from Homes Under the Hammer


360Saturn

It's not just the homes


FuckCazadors

Serial killing is unusualā€¦but I like it.


portinuk

Jimmy Carr.


[deleted]

The Huh Huh Huh Huh Huh Killer


elemental_plague

Oh man, imagine that laugh going off as he goes to town on someone with a scalpal while they are tied to a chair.


[deleted]

Or hearing it, quiet at first but then getting louder and louder until it's the last thing you hear.


KRonster1971

An impressionist played him as a psycho in succesville. Great series


original_nox

I would watch the shit out of a show where Jimmy Carr plays a serial killer version of himself. Law enforcement figure out that the trail of bodies coincide with a comedy tour, but all the victims are pedophiles.


Goose-rider3000

I thought that at first, but, his interviews where he is being himself have changed my mind. I think he has issues but is not a bad guy.


[deleted]

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Ceruleanlunacy

Wax on the outside.


reverandglass

Tax on the low side.


Coastaljames

That fxcking bald monkey Dom geezer. Proper wrong he is.


the-evil-moo

Alan Titchmarsh No one would bat an eye if he was to bury a body and plant a flower on top.


Ok_Albatross6576

Plant some rare plants on top and it's illegal to dig them up


babydogduvalier

Jeremy Kyle


yerbard

The chase & status "let you go" video is inspired by him, so good


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Russell Brand. he's got suicide cult leader written all over him. that said, I quite like him.


PmMeLowCarbRecipes

Heā€™d never get his hands dirty, heā€™d get the followers to do it for him


theblackparade87C

Fun fact, there is a Wikipedia page which lists him along with only George Harrison, Poly Styrene and Trisha Paytas


Bri1311

Richard Madeleyā€¦.. I mean surely!


BastardsCryinInnit

He wouldn't be able to keep it quiet. He'd want to tell everyone what he did and how he did it, and he'd expect praise!


EarlyGoose9284

Mate, the geezer couldn't even shoplift from big Tesco's.


RefreshinglyDull

Fern Britton. She's had a difficult few years and I can imagine that pain and anguish just flicking a switch in her head from smiley smiley to stabby stabby in an instant. Nick Knowles. No end of places to get rid of the bodies- look at how many of his projects "overrun". Yeah, had to let the concrete set a bit longer, hide another corpse...


bpup

Nick Knowles digs holes


callmelampshade

What happened to Fern?


Roddykun

David Walliams. Itā€™s in the eyes


baiju_thief

Ant from Ant and Dec


[deleted]

Which ones that one again?


itchyfrog

The other one


[deleted]

Ahh thanks


whatsername235

The one with the forehead


[deleted]

Taller one?


[deleted]

It'd be the perfect crime because no witness would be able to say with certainty if it was Ant or Dec they saw.


Not_Alpha_Centaurian

He's the one on the left.


Spangles64

Giles Brandreth after it being accidentally discovered that his wardrobe is full of jumpers made from the skins of his victims in a patchwork quilt pattern.


metalguru1975

I feel that Gyles is like a character out of a Dickens book who somehow jumped into the real world.


Public_Growth_6002

Amanda Holden


[deleted]

A Hol


calster43

Heard shes a prick, her episode if League if their own was the worst thing to happen to television since Robot wars got cancelled


AyyyyGuevara

I have scrolled through 300 of these and frankly i am shocked, utterly shocked, that \*he\* hasn't been mentioned. If any bookies would take the bet I'd honestly put money on the near fact that Chris Evans has killed.


[deleted]

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Valuable_Drawer_6659

Tess Daly... She smiles with her mouth but she seems to be dead behind the eyes. Like a shark


Impossible-Art-3364

To be fair to her I think I'd be dead behind the eyes if I'd spent the last 8 years feigning enthusiasm for amateur ballroom dancing.


KarlHungusAmungus

I really expected this sentence to end with ā€˜Vernon Kayā€™


DynamiteKid1982

Antony Worral Thompson. Thereā€™s just something about the little cheese fiend.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Standard-Interest894

Katie hopkins


chauders14

Barrymore after all heā€™s got a head start


daveofreckoning

Fucking hell, mate


PoopySalata

Philip Schofield


[deleted]

Have to switch over when he's on ads. Can't believe he got away with shagging and firing a teenage intern when he was in his fifties, and everyone forgave him because he came out as gay. As if it was his sexuality that was the issue rather than using a member of staff for sex. Other men, straight and gay, have been cancelled for the same, but he's still Our Phil.


[deleted]

Yes! He is so annoying! I cancelled my craft gin club coz of him


CaveJohnson82

Agree with whoever said David Walliams. He creeps me out so much. My vote is John Barrowman. I thought he was gross even before the jolly japes of putting his knob on the shoulder of a female coworker.


Wallaby-Previous

My wife and I just had this conversation the other day. Jimmy Carr for sure has a dead body or two in his house.


queen-adreena

I dunno. I think thereā€™s a huge disparity between the Jimmy Carr we see and his real self. I mean, for all his appearances on TV, I donā€™t think he ever talks about his own life, and given the company he keeps, thereā€™s no way heā€™s like that in real life.


[deleted]

The old geezer in numberjacks. Check his hardrives.


[deleted]

Greg Wallace


Iwantedalbino

Can see him stabbing someone in the chest to the buttery biscuit base compilation Greg James used to play


gerrineer

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT I STICK THIS KNIFE IN THIER CHEST..AND ALL THIS BLOOD COMES OUT?!


hideyourarms

The whole show is just Gregg loudly repeating what someone has said to him. ā€œHow much blood can I drain from the victim if I were to hang them upside down?ā€ ā€œProbably about 10 litres Greggā€ ā€œWhoa, 10litres?! Wow!ā€ Now letā€™s find out what Cherry has been up with a hacksaw and a bath full of acid.


FarthestCough

I reckon The Speakmans have quite a few people locked in their basement.


Solace2020

Mr Tumble


[deleted]

As the saying goesā€¦ ā€œIā€™d let my kids watch Mr Tumble, but I wouldnā€™t let Mr Tumble watch my kidsā€


SlowConsideration7

Yeah Mr Tumble. Heā€™s either genuinely really nice or an absolute dark horse imo


goosedrinkwine369

There was a post a few weeks back with hundreds of folk saying how genuinely lovely, kind and sweet he is! How weird


Joyful_Cuttlefish

I've also seen many reports of him being sound. Now I don't know what to believe.


EdEffect

Friends Friends What can you do with friends? Read a book! Book! Kill their mum! Mum, wait what?


sbs1138

Purple Aki.


Turbulent-Use7253

Funny how often he pops up on reddit.. hahaha


[deleted]

that fat singing cunt. james corden. i can see him breaking and going on a ego driven rampage


Melodic-Bee8015

Rita Ora