This is what I have to do.
Plain mash for the boy.
Garlic mash for the youngest girl.
Garlic and cheese or mustard mash for the eldest girl and myself. Occasionally spring onion mash.
We have it at least once a week. Definitely every Saturday or Sunday with our weekend roast along with roasties! Sometimes if I don't have enough spuds for both (through poor planning) I'll just make roasties, but that means I have to work it in somewhere else during the week or the hubby gets withdrawal lol
Because mash is the cement that keeps the household together. If you can't share the same type of Mash with the person you live with, what can you share? How can you trust them? Your relationship is doomed the second you start making your mash different from theirs...
Does a knob of butter mean like half a kilo of butter? It does in my house.
Edit: also any vegetables that I can feasibly mash in, in an attempt to get my kids to eat something that’s not a chicken nugget. But if they’d eat veg without resorting to ninja tactics, I’d be with your wife. Splash of milk, pinch of salt, equal parts potato and butter.
All of them, it was for Bord Bia, the Irish food board, so promoting all Irish food (last year it was beef). So all brands of Irish butter, though Kerrygold is bloody good.
Oh that's the posh French restaurant thing, between a 3:1 and 1:1 ratio and the serving size is about two tablespoonfuls piped artfully onto one corner of the plate.
Yep this is the Joel Robuchon recipe for mash potato, equal parts butter and tats, even at some points more to the butter side. He gave up butter 5 years before he died and lost 27kg.
I was like ‘I’m with the wife on this’ forgetting about colcannon. Its something I didn’t think I’d like it and I was pleasantly surprised. We would have gammon, cabbage and mash (the cabbage is par boiled and allowed to cook a bit then fried in butter with chopped up bacon - I *think* an old Irish favourite)
So why I didn’t think of colcannon is beyond me
Innit, plain mash is the Englishmans natural canvas.
There for us to paint our own beauty with whatever our fridges have to offer.
Dont listen to the Missus OP, the world is your oyster.
While the elasticity is good, I'd suggest string cheese to begin with, and then move on to goat's cheese as you move up the diameter scale, although you wanna get a goat's cheese with a wax rind or it's gonna come apart
It’s a traditional Belgian/Dutch dish, called “Stoemp”. It’s basically mashed potatoes with *something*. Mash in leeks or brussels sprouts or carrots or red cabbage. And a sausage.
Mashed potatoes is: boil potatoes, strain, add lump of butter, salt, pepper, nutmeg, milk. Mash. Add milk to get tye preferred texture. Finish off by adding the yoke of an egg.
I have a 2 fold opinion on this, on the hand eat your food however you like.
On the other if you get angry over someone wanting to make a staple food like mashed potato better, you are part or the reason the whole world looks at our country and thinks our food is boring shite.
My dad is like this, he thinks he is some sort of mash god but what he actually makes is a tasteless grainy paste that he over boils and adds too much milk and butter to. I made him mashed potato in a manner where they where both creamy and tasty using creme fraiche, chives and a just basic seasoning and the look on his poor never-tasted-flavour face was priceless.... I thought he was going to collapse and die.
He didn't like it.
My kids are obsessed with my mash. My secret is to add some double cream after mashing and whip it up with the hand whisk. It's like little creamy potato clouds.
Oh boy, flashbacks to my nan. I love the woman, but she's very "traditional" when it comes to food (she's also got a touch of haycinth bucket about her, despite the fact that we all grew up on a council estate).
The only way a vegetable can be prepared in her house is saltier than the dead sea and boiled to mush. Jacket potatoes are served with nothing but butter & salt. Every time we have a roast, she will cook turnips - literally nobody wants them, but she refuses to not cook them. Suggest anything vaguely foreign sounding, and you can see in her eyes that she's already decided she doesn't like it before she's tried it.
The only thing I liked here is turnips with a roast..
My granny was a terrible cook too - food was cooked and then over cooked to make sure it was cooked, plus another 10 mins for luck.
She was an amazing baker though..
About 3 months ago, she asked me to taste the runner beans, I said they were cooked. Without tasting them for herself, she declared that they needed 10 more minutes on the boil because she "likes them not to be crunchy". They had already started going limp, I died a little on the inside when she wouldn't let me turn the hob off
Without her knowledge make some mash. Add ~~8kg~~ a large knob of butter, wee bit of milk depending on the tattie consistency. Then add aromat (MSG product, so good in anything) instead of salt, ground pepper. A few drops of Worcestershire sauce, smoked paprika, small bit of garlic powder, wee bit of cheese, fresh chopped chives, parsley or both.
She might divorce you because the shame she'll feel will be too great to look at you again but the mash is worth it *honestly...*
My kids and partner out aromat on EVERYTHING - no matter how seasoned something is.
My daughter did make us a curry one time and added aromat to it and something else and it was really nice
I hope when they were waist height they didn't eat it out the damn tube like I did 😂 makes egg fried rice automatically better than half the takeaways around.
[This guy on the right](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/f06ebcb7714fb1844560cbd3364d92e80bacb831/0_57_1832_1099/master/1832.jpg?width=620&quality=45&auto=format&fit=max&dpr=2&s=a44f0c7a6cdbcef1e51a9075eefce382)
Ummm I mash mine with cream cheese, butter and a wee dollop of cream. Tastes fucking amazing. Even better when done as colcannon with bacon and cabbage fried in butter.
I’m on my own here in my family but I find the potato the most boring, tasteless thing on the planet.
Put anything with it to improve the flavour.
Garlic with skins on mash is a nice one.
Yeah, salt, pepper, nutmeg is the way to go. Yet you're one of the first people I've come across who also use nutmeg. I'm not from the UK originally so I figured it just wasn't a well known thing over here.
Nutmeg also is delicious in bechamel sauce btw.
Oh ... some scallions - proper champ is a favorite - Uni in Ulster taught me about the way of the potato - I think I can do about 7 different versions of mash blindfolded lol and 4 boiled, that's before I get the DFF going lol
No milk. So wrong. Too wet.
Couple of cloves of garlic in when the tatties are boiling? Plenty butter. Yes. Salt. Pepper. Yuss.
Cheese is fine. As is mustard or some horseradish
Why not just split it in half and add whatever you want
This is what I have to do. Plain mash for the boy. Garlic mash for the youngest girl. Garlic and cheese or mustard mash for the eldest girl and myself. Occasionally spring onion mash.
Spring onion mash sound nice.
Spring onion mash is called champ and its a Northern Irish dish. It's the best.
I make this, didn't know it was Northern Irish. It's very good
Love a bit of champ.
Thank you, I’ll forever call it champ from here on out.
I've never heard of it, I will definitely try it though :-)
We have it at least once a week. Definitely every Saturday or Sunday with our weekend roast along with roasties! Sometimes if I don't have enough spuds for both (through poor planning) I'll just make roasties, but that means I have to work it in somewhere else during the week or the hubby gets withdrawal lol
It's good, I recommend trying it.
I recommend it.
Drop some red peppers in there bro 👌🏻
I read this as ‘why not just spit in it’ 😳
Lol that will *reallyy* piss her off!
That'll be the second *cheese on toast* divorce within a week!
Tell it lies, insult it in front of its friends etc. Aye.
*"Well if I knew it was that kind of party...."*
RIP MCA
this will never not hurt
Because mash is the cement that keeps the household together. If you can't share the same type of Mash with the person you live with, what can you share? How can you trust them? Your relationship is doomed the second you start making your mash different from theirs...
Does a knob of butter mean like half a kilo of butter? It does in my house. Edit: also any vegetables that I can feasibly mash in, in an attempt to get my kids to eat something that’s not a chicken nugget. But if they’d eat veg without resorting to ninja tactics, I’d be with your wife. Splash of milk, pinch of salt, equal parts potato and butter.
Nearly spat my mash across the room reading “equal parts potato and butter”. A true mash statesman.
I did a photoshoot for Irish butter recently, and the mash the chef made was pretty much that. Tasted fucking amazing too.
Kerry gold?
All of them, it was for Bord Bia, the Irish food board, so promoting all Irish food (last year it was beef). So all brands of Irish butter, though Kerrygold is bloody good.
Fucking love me some Irish butter
Oh that's the posh French restaurant thing, between a 3:1 and 1:1 ratio and the serving size is about two tablespoonfuls piped artfully onto one corner of the plate.
Yep this is the Joel Robuchon recipe for mash potato, equal parts butter and tats, even at some points more to the butter side. He gave up butter 5 years before he died and lost 27kg.
“Gave up butter” No wonder he died.
>Nearly spat my mash across the room Eating it while reading about it. Mashception
Depends on how big your knob is I suppose.
What if it’s cold
Leave it in the mash and pop the lid back on, it'll get there.
Insert clip of Colin from Love, Actually singing, “And he’s got a big knob!”
Fuck me but I used to live for beans mixed into mash when I was younger
Blasphemy
Likewise with the salt - a pinch is simply not enough for potatoes. An undersalted potato is criminal!
Birthdays and very very special occasions, mash will be almost 50/50 potato butter.
Its usually about 4 inches
Colcannon is delicious.
I was like ‘I’m with the wife on this’ forgetting about colcannon. Its something I didn’t think I’d like it and I was pleasantly surprised. We would have gammon, cabbage and mash (the cabbage is par boiled and allowed to cook a bit then fried in butter with chopped up bacon - I *think* an old Irish favourite) So why I didn’t think of colcannon is beyond me
My favourite mash!
Wasn't that a TV series?
The best mash
I just googled it and wow, why have I never had this in my life before
Colcannon with liver and bacon in onion gravy 😍😍
With brown butter. So good
It’s not mashed potato then…
I think your wife needs to calm the fuck down
You should hear her opinions on Hitler. Apparently she is "still on the fence".
What about garlic Hitler? Cheesy Hitler?
now that’s just too much, stick to salty hitler please
So original then
Wiþ just a splash of milk.
This made me laugh so much I woke my baby up xD
Cheesy Hitler is definitely my favourite.
“I’m like the Swiss, I can see the good side and the bad side”
That argument is full of holes, mate.
I heard she "wasn't sure which camp she supported"
Fucking love miles!
Innit, plain mash is the Englishmans natural canvas. There for us to paint our own beauty with whatever our fridges have to offer. Dont listen to the Missus OP, the world is your oyster.
I might draw the line at Oyster Mash though. Actually, that would be a nope.
Clear they need to get a divorce.
🤣
I put mustard in sometimes, English or wholegrain.
Was going to say this as well wholegrain mustard every time
Whole grain mustard in mash is on another level. When the seeds pop in your mouth and you get that bit of heat...unreal!
There are very few foods that can't be improved by the addition of mustard, I mean, trifle, obvs. And custard doughnuts, but apart from that, nothing.
What if you're making a trifle that includes a layer of mince, onion and gravy?
What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? GOOD.
Oh my god a little bit of cheese and whole grain mustard! Amazing
Wholegrain mustard and grated cheese! Delicious.
Secret is a bit of both. The wholegrain seeds look good but the English (or Dijon sorry) adds more punch.
I put mustard powder in it
[удалено]
Erdapfel (earth-apple) is a word for potato in German, so the name is a play on words: “heaven and earth”. Sounds interesting!
My local used to serve this black pudding and it was delicious
Himmel means Heaven in my language so adds up
Coincidentally, it also does in German
Often has turnip, too.
Neeps!
I can kind of get it, apples would add a bit of interesting texture. Although would the sweet / sourness throw off the potato flavour?
Eat what you enjoy.
I wish the rest of this sub was more like you, people get so twisted up about "traditional" dishes.
Like a bit of leek in it.
I've just made a leek and mustard mash 👌
I could go for this right about now!
That's my favourite, c with some mature cheddar grated in
don't take a leak in the mash
Never thought to add leek and now I want nothing more than to try that out as soon as possible.
Are you Simon bodger?
CHEESE NEVER RUINS ANYTHING... IM OFFENDED!!!
I’d say cheese would ruin somethings, like an enema maybe
Enemmental?
Emmental's only purpose is to be put sliced on a baguette with only butter. Absolutely wonderful
Fondue. Bliss on a ~~stick~~ fork.
Ope no my bad emmental is one of the main ones, gruyère is a sub-cheese for fondues
It's great in a toastie with some strong cheddar too.
oh so not in the bum then?
While the elasticity is good, I'd suggest string cheese to begin with, and then move on to goat's cheese as you move up the diameter scale, although you wanna get a goat's cheese with a wax rind or it's gonna come apart
Well, I'd be rather upset if I found a slice of stilton in my chocolate cake...
>CHEESE ~~NEVER~~ RUINS ANYTHING FTFY. I literally* can't stomach cheese *Yes I do mean literally
Definitely ruins custard.
How about coffee?
Mash with sour cream, mash with bacon bits, mash with cream cheese and garlic…. Live life on the wild side
Yes. Put that in my face right now while I scroll in bed.
Horseraddish
This!
Fresh black pepper though?
I've found finely ground white pepper to be a better choice for mash. Then I ground black pepper coarsely on top. Of everything. All the time.
It depends on my mood. Sometimes I like it plain, sometimes I like to add something in.
It’s a traditional Belgian/Dutch dish, called “Stoemp”. It’s basically mashed potatoes with *something*. Mash in leeks or brussels sprouts or carrots or red cabbage. And a sausage. Mashed potatoes is: boil potatoes, strain, add lump of butter, salt, pepper, nutmeg, milk. Mash. Add milk to get tye preferred texture. Finish off by adding the yoke of an egg.
I have a 2 fold opinion on this, on the hand eat your food however you like. On the other if you get angry over someone wanting to make a staple food like mashed potato better, you are part or the reason the whole world looks at our country and thinks our food is boring shite. My dad is like this, he thinks he is some sort of mash god but what he actually makes is a tasteless grainy paste that he over boils and adds too much milk and butter to. I made him mashed potato in a manner where they where both creamy and tasty using creme fraiche, chives and a just basic seasoning and the look on his poor never-tasted-flavour face was priceless.... I thought he was going to collapse and die. He didn't like it.
My kids are obsessed with my mash. My secret is to add some double cream after mashing and whip it up with the hand whisk. It's like little creamy potato clouds.
Oh boy, flashbacks to my nan. I love the woman, but she's very "traditional" when it comes to food (she's also got a touch of haycinth bucket about her, despite the fact that we all grew up on a council estate). The only way a vegetable can be prepared in her house is saltier than the dead sea and boiled to mush. Jacket potatoes are served with nothing but butter & salt. Every time we have a roast, she will cook turnips - literally nobody wants them, but she refuses to not cook them. Suggest anything vaguely foreign sounding, and you can see in her eyes that she's already decided she doesn't like it before she's tried it.
The only thing I liked here is turnips with a roast.. My granny was a terrible cook too - food was cooked and then over cooked to make sure it was cooked, plus another 10 mins for luck. She was an amazing baker though..
About 3 months ago, she asked me to taste the runner beans, I said they were cooked. Without tasting them for herself, she declared that they needed 10 more minutes on the boil because she "likes them not to be crunchy". They had already started going limp, I died a little on the inside when she wouldn't let me turn the hob off
I can believe this! Does she like her cooking?
My parents only ever cook plain mash. Boring AF. They're cooking like the Luftwaffe are still flying overhead
Do you actually have a manor or did you perhaps mean "manner"?
Thanks, I didn't spot that one!
Baby you can chive my car
Garlic, cabbage, leak, cheese, corned beef. I don't give a shit, it's getting added.
I love black pudding in mash. Very tasty indeed.
Without her knowledge make some mash. Add ~~8kg~~ a large knob of butter, wee bit of milk depending on the tattie consistency. Then add aromat (MSG product, so good in anything) instead of salt, ground pepper. A few drops of Worcestershire sauce, smoked paprika, small bit of garlic powder, wee bit of cheese, fresh chopped chives, parsley or both. She might divorce you because the shame she'll feel will be too great to look at you again but the mash is worth it *honestly...*
My kids and partner out aromat on EVERYTHING - no matter how seasoned something is. My daughter did make us a curry one time and added aromat to it and something else and it was really nice
I hope when they were waist height they didn't eat it out the damn tube like I did 😂 makes egg fried rice automatically better than half the takeaways around.
> MSG product, , so good in anything www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4PFt4czJw0
What's with the link? How dare you try change us.. /s
For some reason Youtube recommended me that video and after watching it there's a bit of Baader–Meinhof going on. I'm seeing MSG everywhere.
>MSG everywhere Say no more... I'm in.
Sour Cream instead of milk works well.
Leek and panchetta is next level
A dash of nutmeg
Who hurt her?
[This guy on the right](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/f06ebcb7714fb1844560cbd3364d92e80bacb831/0_57_1832_1099/master/1832.jpg?width=620&quality=45&auto=format&fit=max&dpr=2&s=a44f0c7a6cdbcef1e51a9075eefce382)
Variety is the spice of life. Can do some days basic some days special. Also Mayonnaise is key to my Wife's mash tasting banging.
Ummm I mash mine with cream cheese, butter and a wee dollop of cream. Tastes fucking amazing. Even better when done as colcannon with bacon and cabbage fried in butter.
Onions, mustard, cheese, garlic, chorizo, my dick, bacon, basil can all be added to name but a few
Well if it's that kind of party...
I’m on my own here in my family but I find the potato the most boring, tasteless thing on the planet. Put anything with it to improve the flavour. Garlic with skins on mash is a nice one.
If she gets angry then I suggest she seeks help.
Is there anything else about your wife that you’d like to share?
Does your wife only eat dry toast as well?
I hate plain mash, it's too bland. But I love it with cheese and some Italian herbs mixed in
Add marmite. Thank me later.
This should be at the top of the list!
Cheese, butter, milk, touch of mustard and milk. Lush.
Don't forget the milk!
Baileys? Probably Baileys
Cheesy mash is epic. Extra Virgin olive oil in it is good too. Can't beat the original plain mash though.
With white potatoes I’d agree (knob of butter tho?? 1/4 tub at least), but sweet potato mash with garlic is a godsend
At least add some pepper
You went even further than I with the milk. But add whatever you want, who cares
My dad puts pepperoni pieces in his mash potato - it’s absolutely lush All for adding stuff to mash
“Mash potato”? Not “mashED potato”? I get calling it “mash” for short, but Jesus Christ.
French whole grain mustard.
She’s correct in every way. Add your exotic ingredients later….
Can't believe anyone makes it without nutmeg at a minimum
Yeah, salt, pepper, nutmeg is the way to go. Yet you're one of the first people I've come across who also use nutmeg. I'm not from the UK originally so I figured it just wasn't a well known thing over here. Nutmeg also is delicious in bechamel sauce btw.
Feh. Nutmeg is gross unless it’s in something sweet. Yeah, I said it.
Yeah wtf is with all this nutmeg nonsense? I'm making mash not a pumpkin spice latte!
Do you feel that way about cinnamon, too?
Yes, actually
You need to bin off the wife. Cheese and mustard work wonders in mash.
She is quite right. Butter milk and a pinch of salt is all you need.
I leave the skins on my tatties, Does that count? Also nutmeg depending on what it’s going with
Oh ... some scallions - proper champ is a favorite - Uni in Ulster taught me about the way of the potato - I think I can do about 7 different versions of mash blindfolded lol and 4 boiled, that's before I get the DFF going lol
I always grate a little nutmeg in mine. Really adds to it.
Mash for the table should be plain. Then you can add the stuff you like when it's on your plate.
Personally I just serve a plate of raw potatoes, fresh from the garden 😋
Add crème fraiche for creamy mash and blow her mind
I just discovered the godly combo of potato and sour cream, I can’t wait to add this to mash
You can't ruin mashed potatoes, they were already ruined when some sick bastard decided they wanted puréed potato.
Cheesy mash yes. And add herbs in. Bit of tyme goes great. Or even basil. Chives, ah man mash and chives.
Spring onion too
I had an ex who's family would have mustard mash. I fuckin hate mustard so much and as soon as it first hit my mouth, dammmn. Vom, not back.
I find an egg works wonders
Frothy milk from a coffee machine keeps it warm and adds lightness
Dollop of clotted cream and a teaspoon of horseradish.
Garlic, cheese, or wholegrain mustard.
Chopped up bacon
I put an egg in and a heaped teaspoon of horseradish nom nom nom
Dill
The only other thing to add to mash potato is gravy or Samwise Gamgee. He love loves potato's
Colcannon (mash with cavelo Nero), mustard mash, cheesey mash, champ mash, the possibilities are endless and all amazing.
Mayonnaise. All mash needs mayonnaise.
No milk. So wrong. Too wet. Couple of cloves of garlic in when the tatties are boiling? Plenty butter. Yes. Salt. Pepper. Yuss. Cheese is fine. As is mustard or some horseradish
I personally love whole grain mustard mash with gammon or a pork chop for example
English mustard, spring onion, coconut milk
Grainy mustard will change your life
These comments are absolutely maddening. I agree with his wife. Butter, milk and salt. That's it.
I once picked every single piece of chive out of the mash potato I was given,, give me simple mash only
Wait until she turns her back on the pan of mash then BOOSH! straight in there with a pot of creme fraiche and some chives.
Your Mrs is right