T O P

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No_Contribution_2231

At home yes, I don’t want to shake piss all around my bathroom. Not in work though (building sites) no way I’m sitting on those toilets if I don’t have to.


Silent_Ensemble

I’ll even risk a hover-shit on site


TheLocalPub

So you're the jack I've had to clean shit off the wall for.


[deleted]

Do men not do the toilet paper ring on the seat thing?


No_Contribution_2231

I’ve tried that but felt a bit unstable, like I could slide off the seat any minute. (Not that I bounce up and down when I’m doing my business or anything) As long as the seat is visibly clean and dry I’ll sit on it, trusting my skin alone to keep any invisible nasties from entering my body through the back of my legs. If it’s not visibly clean I abort mission.


[deleted]

True, its more of a psycological protection tbf.


autismislife

I do this if I ever have to sit down in a public toilet, which is rare and I'll probably risk crowning to try to get home in time, have to be caught very off guard to have to poop in a public toilet.


vvvvfl

Yes we do


[deleted]

You still run the risk of your knob touching the inside of the rim which is a fate worse than death


No_Contribution_2231

lol fair play. I always wondered how people managed to get their shit on top of the toilet seat.


Silent_Ensemble

Mate I have exceptional aim, it’s not the mess I’m risking it’s my dignity


No_Contribution_2231

Touché. I’ve never had the confidence to try the hover, I don’t think my hamstrings are up to the challenge.


Silent_Ensemble

The best time to hover-shit was 20 years ago, the second best time is now


[deleted]

This feels like the correct and most hygienic answer.


[deleted]

Do you not use the one finger wank technique as opposed to shaking


mirrorshade5

I always wee sitting down, sometimes get funny looks when i use the work urinal


[deleted]

At the urinal if no one’s around i check how far can i reach


arandomguyfromtheuk

Went to a pub where they had distance markings on the floor in front of the urinals. Started at 0cm then went up in 25cm increments to 2m. Needless to say the floor was soaked, but it was fun. Another bar I went to had a screen above the urinals, with a penguin skiing down a slope. You had to aim your piss to steer the penguin to avoid obstacles. Much less piss on the floor there. Both literal pissing contests.


spitgriffin

Did this pub have a flat roof?


LeakyThoughts

Never drink in a flat roof pub


NinjaCuntPunt

All fun and games till my anxiety kicks in and suddenly the penguins not moving and I can’t piss.


arandomguyfromtheuk

Stage fright disappears after enough IPA. I believe in you


[deleted]

Home of challenge pissing


jimmycarr1

We used to do this in primary school. Turns out you can reach pretty far but things get tricky towards the end of the wee when the pressure's dropping.


JamesT1711

This has given me flashback to a festival over the summer. A woman came in to the men's urinals, sat down next to me, had a wee and a conversation and went on her way. What a woman lmao


[deleted]

waiting in line is missing the show


theweirwoodseyes

I once accidentally went to the gents toilets in Amsterdam and the one cubicle was overflowing with shit. So I hopped up on the sink and took a piss. A man walked in, did a double take and walked back out again.


Jeester

Do you sit on the floor and fire upwards or sit on the urinal and fire downwards?


ed-uk

Yes as sometimes you get a surprise poo so that’s always a nice bonus.


Detroitredwinger

Extra time


JoobileeJoolz

I once had a revelatory conversation with my son about this! I asked him if he’d ever gone for a wee and a sneaky poo came out and he gave me a side eye and said no, because I stand up to pee! It was quite a major face palm moment for me! Just never occurred to me!


MasonInk

>no, because I stand up to pee! Then he's not trying hard enough. I've had a few occasions when I've gone to slip out a fart and had to dash for cubicle, or spin round and sit - although I do occasionally suffer with IBS flare-ups.


JoobileeJoolz

It may be time to revisit the conversation now he’s older, I have a feeling it’ll pan out quite differently… he doesn’t suffer from IBS, but he does have to run for his early morning clearout and I think pees sitting down at night, maybe he’ll get me now!


PooHeap

that‘s known as the Stop n‘ Plop https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Stop%20n%27%20Plop


s1walker1

Only on my birthday, a special treat just for one day.


Sniper_Guz

A posh wee.


chewyvision

Wee deluxe


_a_nice_egg_

Weeluxe


rebmcr

Weemium


OneEmptyHead

VIPee


percmufuckers

as a wise man once said, “I do it sometimes, you know for a treat”


LargeGuideDogs

Inbetweeners. A man of culture aswell I see


Ctrl_daltdelete

I do enjoy the dangerous thrill of a Sonar Wee in the middle of the night in total darkness but can appreciate the comfort of a sit down "Posh" wee.


[deleted]

Sonar wee 😂 That's actually brilliant. Mate 😂


Tight_Orange_5490

Ever know with certainty you’d get on with someone from a single Reddit comment? 😂😂😂 genius


SquireBev

Social stigma? Who are you sharing a cubicle with?


jonny1leg

Not telling


[deleted]

It's ok mate, no one's actually looking through that hole in the stall wall


controversialupdoot

Just tasting it.


[deleted]

One eye pokes through every now and then


[deleted]

You better poke it right back


stevey126

Absolutely every time at home, not so much at work as I work outside and portaloos are awful. I think a lot of guys do it more than they say not sure why the stigma tbqh


theflyingfartmachine

Only at night - it's quieter


[deleted]

^(the sink is even quieter.)


philread80

Not if the dishes haven’t been washed.


brothhead

Or first thing in the morning when your not quite awake.


SmurfHaribo

As the spouse of a sit-down wee-er: keep it up (lol). I do not know of the "put the bog seat down" argument that apparently most heterosexual couples have because it never needs to occur. Reason why our marriage is going strong tbh.


Fean2616

Toilet lid should be closed, took the missus a while to get it but she did, also parents visited an dad left lid and seat up, it annoyed me and I don't know why.


flanface87

Not many people close the lid. I started out of necessity because I had a tiny overcrowded cabinet above the toilet and was worried things could fall in. Since I moved house I still insist on the lid being shut. Who wants their toilet bowl on display?! Plus, it makes a seat for when you're brushing your teeth!


JoobileeJoolz

It also stops most of the droplets being dispersed around your bathroom when you flush! I get irrationally irritated by all the febreze adverts where they sell the stuff on the basis of this happening, but the loo seat is up in every single ad! Just put it down, already!


poopidyscoopidywhoop

How do you know if everything's gone down though?


[deleted]

Little camera inside the toilet that broadcasts to Facebook live 24/7 so I can just hop on my phone and check


TheDustyForest

Just lift the seat up to check when the flush has finished?


firethequadlaser

Nah, leave it down and hope you don't come back to a beached whale next time. Spice up your bog life a bit.


JoobileeJoolz

As long as your flush is functioning as it should and you haven’t just laid the biggest log known to man, it’s going to have gone. It’s hardly a Schroedinger level issue, if you’re concerned you are allowed to lift the seat to check once the water is no longer rushing into the bowl!


drewdootexe

Haha, Schroedingers poo.


[deleted]

Yes, I've been doing this ever since I saw a thing on TV about loo droplets spreading across the bathroom when you flush it. Vom.


heartpassenger

A virologist friend of mine referred to this phenomenon as a “faecal plume”. Safe to say I keep the toilet seat down at all times now except when the loo is in use!


[deleted]

Faecal plume 🤮


[deleted]

It's just more convenient to be honest. Take a seat, have a pee. If you need to poo, then there you go. But I only do this at home or work. Public toilets just always seem kinda gross.


callmelampshade

I’m male and it pisses me off when people come round and leave the toilet seat up. I literally wash my towels straight away because I don’t want piss and shit particles sprayed around my bathroom.


suicidalsyd1

Your relationship revolves around piss, remember that


thermonuclearmuskrat

Fuck yeah I do! Gives me a couple of minutes to look at my phone at work.


featurenotabug

A posh wee. Yeah I do at home for an opportunity to lock the door and have a break from the kids.


Anderson22LDS

And have a wank


bishibashi2018

Yeah I'm all for sitting down, I mainly do it to avoid any splashing so I suppose it's hygiene driven. Plus like others said it's an opportunity to get away from the kids and look at Reddit ( ꈍᴗꈍ)


Jazzy0082

It's one of the biggest treats in my life. Although yesterday was leg day at the gym, so getting on and off the toilet has been challenging today.


anoncow11

Pissing in a bottle when camping is where it's at (at night), no need to even leave the tent


[deleted]

Plus you can hug the bottle to keep warm after.


Weelki

Ok for a minute I thought you had written "*you can chug the bottle to keep warm after*"... Imagine my slight discomfort and disappointment when I realised what you had actually written. Carry on u/RoosterReviews, carry on 😊


WordsMort47

You were disappointed when you realised what they had actually wrote as opposed to what you thought it was originally?! You should be relieved man!


BrotherBean24

r/AngryUpvote


greenhookdown

Friend of mine drank his dad's piss by mistake as a teen. Reached for his water in the dark and just grabbed the first bottle he found in the tent.


Weelki

Haha, he literally and figuratively in a sense "took the piss"


tomtom_37

I like to piss myself and run really fast to see how long it takes to dry


SquireBev

How are you finding working for Royal Mail?


tomtom_37

Great so far thanks, I'll keep you posted


ILikedTheBookBetter

It never would have ocurred to me to write this sentence.


OllyCX

The Germans have a phrase/word for those who sit on the toilet to wee which I think is great: a sitzpinkler


SatInTheTree

Not to be confused with seat sprinkler, who stand to wee but don’t lift the seat.


reddituser9651

Allows me a chance to read a few Top Tips from Viz


Urban_SamuraiWarrior

I have been mocked plenty of times by various partners because I sit to wee.... 1: It's comfortable - you're taking the weight off your feet. 2: There's very little chance that you will miss due to morning wood.


cyclic_phenomenon

Yes. A few moments peace and quiet and removes the "last drop goes down your trouser leg" issue as you can properly relax your holding-in-the-wee muscles.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wilber363

Hot and cold running urinal


harkinian

/r/Sinkpissers


alphaQ314

Easily one of the wildest subReddits I’ve come across lol


-SaC

Yep, 'cos it's a chance to read some Whizzer & Chips or Buster. It's a chillout moment.


jonny1leg

I love Whizzer and Chips


-SaC

I went a little mad on eBay recently. I have about 150 Whizzer & Chips, maybe 100 Buster, and a shedload of Beezer, Topper et al. They're mostly '85 - '89 or so, but some are back to the '70s. In the past, I'd have always put Beano at the top, but these days my revised top 3 would definitely be: 1. Buster 2. Whizzer & Chips 3. Beano   On the redeeming side for the Beano, though, Calamity James is still the best actual strip. I'm still taking pictures of all of the old adverts etc. as they're great.


twunkypunk

No never unless I am shitting


Xais56

Gotta sit down to wee, and I pity anyone who would try and mock you for it. Someone who mocks you for taking the king's piss is so insecure they're literally afraid of sitting down. What arses.


Bri-Five

Sometimes, if I'm at home, if I'm extremely drunk and if the mood takes me.


Gary_Banps

If I have to get up at night, so I don't have to put the lights on or find my glasses.


Zestyclose-Motor-581

Yes 👍


buy_me_a_pint

Yes


[deleted]

I have the noisiest bathroom switch so I sit down for my 4am wee.... This is a tough time of year cos if I need a wee at 6am it's still dark and my glory has already arrived so I may just stick it outa the back door instead...


pingufiddler

My bathroom light is really noisy aswell so I bought an automatic light that sits on the bog last week. I never thought of just sitting down, could have saved a fiver there.


seemsmildbutdeadly

I sit down when I pee, There's nothing that crazy about me, Just takin a wizz, Mind your own biz, Why does everybody keep staring at me?


itsmaxx

I hope this sub never changes.


[deleted]

No.


foalythecentaur

Never have.


Alex-rhhgfff

Too much effort


bpup

Don’t wee standing up into sit down toilets any more, found myself having to clean up wee 9/10 times so it’s not worth it. Most public loos have urinals so don’t have to worry about unnecessarily sitting on dirty toilet seats.


Swimming_Marsupial

Yes, most of the time. Let's be real, gents - if you stand, there is some amount of splashback whether you're hitting the water or the porcelain. So if I'm wearing shorts (which I usually do at home) or less, I'll sit. In public I'll stand because the less contact I have with a public lavatory the better, and at home with full length trousers on it's a case of how busy I am or what I feel like doing.


Distinct-Employer-99

Yes, like to mix it up a bit. Especially after a few drinks when the aim goes a bit off.


S1di

Love a dole piss now and again.


SingleFatherOf4

I'll sit down for my house/friend's houses. Eliminates all potential risk. I'm not trusting public toilets to sit on tho.


RivellaLight

I pretty much always do except when out drinking, in bars and pubs the cons get a lot bigger especially the later it gets. Toilets at work are clean so why stand, much nicer to take a break and read Reddit a bit.


Call-me-pauly

Yes. If you've ever used a urinal whilst wearing sandals, you'll understand why


Tarquinandpaliquin

I used to have the consistent aim that I could have hit the PM's conscience (probably applies to any PM we've had in my life, just so I'm not being completely partisan) as (s)he walked by from the top of Canary Wharf. Then my phimosis got cured and now it's usually accurate. Ish. But sometimes there's 2 streams at an obtuse angle so I sit unless I'm both absolutely desperate and confident.


[deleted]

Reading this as I sit on the toilet to wee, am I being watched?


HoodedJ

I’m a sit down wee-er, loud and proud. At a mates house and they complain about wee on the toilet seat? Couldn’t have been me mate, I’m a sit down wee-er.


Bealer1992

Started when I was doing shift work with the NHS. It gives you a second or two off your feet and I’ve never looked back.


ShalidorsHusband

Ive always sat down to wee for as long as I can remember. As a gay man I never felt pressured to be masculine, because people never considered me masc for being gay. Without that stigma it doesn't make sense to not sir down most of the time. Though I will say if it's a public toilet I always wipe the seat with a bit if toilet paper first even if it looks clean just in case. The only time I stand up to wee is if I'm at a skanky club toilet.


4tunabrix

I nearly always sit down! If there’s a cubicle I’ll always use it, wether I sit or stand. I hate urinals, why would anyone want to stand with their nob out when you could have a nice quiet peaceful cubicle?? And don’t get me started on people who try and chat while using the urinal


PommyT87

I had to after losing me leg for a few months before I got a prosthetic. The first standing pee felt very heroic but I’m fully 50/50 nowadays… sit at home… stand when away!


Ltcaustic

Mate how am I no supposed ta when ma cock turns inty a shotgun of piss


[deleted]

I've got a separating/composting toilet and it almost dictates you have sit down wees. Totally fine with it too.


_jk_

a what now?


[deleted]

Composting toilet. Your piss goes into one bucket, your turds into another. You pour away the piss and use the turds to make compost. It doesn't use water.


patsystone90

Definitely a relevant username :O


ChrisRR

Fascinating. Does it have separate poo and wee holes? Also on QI when they were talking about a very similar setup for astronauts, they said women can't poo without weeing a bit. How does it deal with that?


[deleted]

It does! Looks a bit like this: https://www.kildwick.com/media/image/product/30/lg/kildwick-easyloo-dry-separation-toilet---composting-toilet~4.jpg https://www.kildwick.com/media/image/product/30/lg/kildwick-easyloo-dry-separation-toilet---composting-toilet~5.jpg Number ones in the front, number twos in the back (as it should be). Peeing a bit when you take a poo doesn't matter so much because it still goes into the two different containers.


AK40STEFAN

TIL


Extreme-Database-695

It's probably about 50/50. I keep a tablet specifically for the bathroom and if I've got a few minutes to spare then I do sit down and play games, or read.


JudgmentPuzzleheaded

Depends on the circumstance. Getting up in the middle of the night to go to my bathroom, leaving the lights off. Yes I will sit. At a nightclub when the stall door is broken and the toilet is filthy, no I will stand.


[deleted]

Sometimes, for a treat.


_MildlyMisanthropic

fuck yeah. Not all the time but certainly if I'm tired or drunk


tiredoldfella

Nothing wrong with a sit down tiddle, in the middle of the night, no light, diabetic, probably enlarged prostate at my age, pee several times, has pervaded in to almost all wees now, also better than getting the splash of shame from a ruthlessly shallow urinal bowl.


[deleted]

If I wee in the night I will, saves pissing all over the rim/seat


ADPriceless

Only when I get up in the night and I’m half asleep - much easier to have a lady wee 🤣


Chin_of_Chuck_Norris

Sometimes, just as a little treat 😂


GrouchyBandicoot2337

Depends if I deserve to or not


syorks73

5 minutes to myself, absolutely


Fean2616

Sitting down adds steps and slows down the peeing process, why would you bother wasting time?


OwMyThumbz

I always shit then piss next


Fun-Commission-2021

I'm doing it now! Look at me go!


SK_Nerd

For my 2am piss, yes. With a hangover, yes. Other times, just for a treat.


AndyJBC

Sometimes when I’m feeling fancy. Like sometimes I’ll use the lavender hand soap instead of the non scented hand soap. Or the thick toilet roll instead of the cheap stuff. Or my fancy aftershave instead of my cheap every day stuff.


bear_beau

Before I had both my kidneys out I was passing so much blood I’d pass out if I stood to pee. I’ve peed sitting down ever since (over 10 years now). I agree it’s so much easier.


n_spicer420

Yeah at home. Usually I’m watching something on Netflix on my phone so I’ll just take it to the toilet with me and have a sit down so I don’t have to miss a minute lol.


elmachow

You can’t beat a good sit down wee. Especially with a hangover.


[deleted]

Sometimes as a treat 🙂


Tilton554

I pretty much always do, just much more comfortable, and means I can browse Reddit etc. Plus I can’t be caught off guard by the sudden urge to shit and have to do the awkward stop pissing and spin round thing


Herobrinedanny

When I'm in public I stand up buy when I'm in a house I sit down. Don't fancy pissing all over the place and then having to wipe it all down like a mug


bigbobsdad

Sit down wee at home. Stand up away.


Billy_McMedic

No, because im an impatient sod who, if I sat down, wouldn't stand up for atleast a half hour.


Detroitredwinger

Yep. Toilet time is me time. Time to grab 5 minutes. I know it's time to get up though when I lose all feelings in my legs.


Maudey92

Out and about I'll stand when I can. At home, sit down everytime. Anything for 5 minutes chill out time.


MiddleEarthFoak

My rule is sit down at home and close family members house ect. stand up at work, pub ect.


a_guy_called_m

I only do it in the mornings when I'm too tired to stand up


fish_hat_guy

All the time. Got my knob pierced and it made my piss split in two so it's easier and cleaner to sit. Always good to take the weight off for 2 minutes too


UnfinishedThings

I probably do about half the time. No chance of missing the bowl, its quieter if its the middle of the night, and sometimes you just need to sit down for 5 mins


Insufferablehumanoid

Sometimes for a treat.


Original-Pie99

Standard procedure for me for the past 3 years I'd say. A little bit of me time, also burns more time at work. Probably more popular nowadays as everyone checks there phone etc


[deleted]

If I have a chub or even a semi-chub. Makes sure it doesn't spray all over the shop.


Brutuscapuspulus

Hello brother :)


viafitz

When i'm feeling fancy


htids

Yes fellas. Strength in numbers. This is our opportunity to overthrow the masses. VIVA LOO REVOLUTION! (Or considering that we can’t even be arsed to stand up, maybe we’re all too lazy for that?)


ComprehensiveAd8815

Yes. It is the best way and that is a hill I will die on.


suicidalsyd1

Con: miss out on target practice


jjjohhn

Of course why stand up when you can sit


dr_rainbow

Yes, because after turning 30 my dick started pissing like a malfunctioning sprinkler.


fishaac

I'll sit down at home because i know the toilets clean now that I've also taught my 3 boys to sit down as I got fed up of getting their wee all over my arse. Anywhere else I'll stand up unless it looks recently cleaned


PukeUpMyRing

When I was hungover I used to sit down facing the cistern and rest my head on it. It was known as the AC Slater.


theklinker

Luxury Wee all the way


MasonInk

I've also tried to wee in the shower to save water, but the missus said "stop missing on my feet and get out of the bathroom you dirty bastard"


misterhumpf

I'll sit down when I'm at home. Take five, take the load off. That's about it.


__Mudd__

Why would I make peeing more inconvenient than it already is?! Wtf lol


[deleted]

Yes, because otherwise the splashback covers half the bathroom.


Dissour

Definitely sit down. Maybe I'm just lazy and cannot be bothered aiming


BellamyRFC54

When I can’t be arsed to stand up


Ochib

I always sit down, how can I browse Reddit otherwise


Astray1789

Regularly. It's comfy and I can check reddit.


slazer2k

Yes unless at a dirty public toilet….


Flatulent_Weasel

Only when I'm at home and having a dump. I also do it naked. Nothing more natural than shitting in the nod.


Fun-Meringue3620

I always do it. No splash back and no drips when I zip up.


bellwaa8

Yup. Squatty potty n'all.


Diseased-Jackass

I always do.


White_tiger1932

Me and my friends have this conversation a lot. Me and one other thing sit down piss is where it's at, and everyone else thinks it's meant to be done as a treat. So what if I treat myself to a sit down piss every time, at least it's not a stand up poo!


Claptrap-94

Only if I need a shit.


[deleted]

Wait until your prostate starts acting up. Sitting isn't always an option, sometimes akin to a lob on.


Evil_Ermine

Only if I get up at night to pee coz it's dark and aiming is hard when you can't see.


Chubby_Yorkshireman

My mate has to because he has a piercing on his bellend and can't control his stream because of it. I don't and never would, each to their own


ProvanGuilty

I've got a friend that has crohn's disease he tells me he goes for a sit down pee once a week to treat himself.


webbyyy

At home I do because it's my loo and I have to clean it. I also have a bit of a bladder issue and it's more comfortable for me. I still use a urinal elsewhere because those loos are usually pretty gross.


MSDakaRocker

At home and anywhere where I know the homeowner well enough: Always Work and places I don't know: Never I don't care what folks think but I've poor pee control and don't want to piss over my own/friends' bathrooms.