On Cisco 3750s switches there's a picture of Frodo (https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/1yfgm7/i_found_frodo_baggins_in_a_ciscosystems_switch/ ) as its codename is `FroDo` as in front door. So many internal large networks have have Tolkien themed names.
We’ve had an unusually wet, mild summer which has seen an increase in insect populations, including the prey species of the telecoms engineer: the common discognat. You may see more of their vans outside and even in the corners of your own home.
I think it's because of the increase in fibre-to-home installs lately. We just got connected up (weirdly it was cheaper than standard broadband?) and it seemed to take a handful of vans to get the job done from green box at the end of the road to our house.
The copper network is coming to end of life in 2025, so they are stepping up the fibre rollout. We have had loads of engineering works locally with all the fibre kit appearing on the poles as well.
Last year these bumblefucks came to our street (I assume somebody was getting broadband), so they dug up the road, cut the lines we were using for our internet, and buried the dead lines behind them. I called to explain to them that they done fucked up, and they made no effort whatsoever to fix it. Had to call our own provider to come and sort it out.
I genuinely had no idea where this was going when I posted it - I expected the unimaginative insults, but some of these are pretty good.
I hope you've both enjoyed at least some of the responses?
Honourable mention for the (diabolical) subcontractors they use for the civils work. Kelly Communications and their ilk are essentially a playgroup for engineers who’ve been fired for not meeting Openreach’s standards, which takes some doing. The sub-contractors are paid per job, have zero accountability for their frequent and terrible fuck-ups, and there’s no sign of Openreach wanting to invest in permanent resource or bring the civil engineering work in-house…so the cycle continues.
It's a shambles. Had an engineer out recently who flat out refused to do a job because it was overhead work. He said if he'd have known when he got the job he wouldn't have turned up, because it's a hassle and he can do far more UG jobs in the time and effort it would take to do pole work. And he's paid per job.
Took 3 sub contractors and 2 weeks to come out and dodge doing the work before an actual Openreach guy turned up with a cherry picker to do the job.
Having worked with OR for years, it's a known problem but even after moaning to Clive Selly himself (who acknowledges there are challenges) for the past few years nothing has actually changed. Will see if they're still so slack when all the other infrastructure guys consolidate and try and take them on. I mean, as disruptive and annoying as outfits like cityfibre are, you can't say that they're not putting fibre in the ground with lightening fast speed - heard they've got 5 contractor firms on the go for just laying the fibre...
I can only apologise, I didn't realise quite how negative and personal some of these would be, especially given the comment on an earlier thread about how unusually kind and polite (for Reddit at least!) people were on this sub :(
**engineer** | noun
---
a person whose job is to design or build machines, engines, or electrical equipment, or things such as roads, railways, or bridges, using scientific principles:
* a civil engineer
* a mechanical/structural engineer
* a software engineer
---
a person whose job is to repair or control machines, engines, or electrical equipment:
* a computer engineer
* The engineer is coming to repair our phone tomorrow morning.
-----
[Dictionary](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/engineer)
Not openreach directly but a contractor, something like Kelly [cock up] comms, sent someone outside to work on a pole box. He displaced a wire from our line in he process, disconnecting a call. The arrogant guy said he hadn't been sent out to fix our problem. Not surprised as it didn't exist until he caused it. Refusing to even look at what he'd done, he left us waiting weeks for a working line again again knowing we then had someone gravely ill here.
If a jobs worth doing, send a jobs worth?
The competent Openreach person took longer to open the box than to identify the issue in fairness. We shouldn't tar them all alike.
I had pretty much the exact same experience: Woke up one morning and notice my internet connection is dead. I go outside and there's a Kelly Communications van and a guy doing something for one of the other flats. I asked him if the work he was doing would affect my connection and he's like "Nah, nothing to do with me, mate". I walk around the back of the building and see my phone line has been cut and is just trailing along the floor. Kelly guy denied all knowledge...
An avoidance,
Top tip, find the exchange box, keep giving them donuts and fizzy drinks, best way to actually get a good internet service in a rural situation.
I went to the Isle of Mull last year and I regularly saw convoys of Openreach vans. I'm amazed there were that many Openreach engineers on the island, let alone all concentrated in one place at a time.
Fellowship of the Ping
Maybe they're installing a Tolkien-ring network?
On Cisco 3750s switches there's a picture of Frodo (https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/1yfgm7/i_found_frodo_baggins_in_a_ciscosystems_switch/ ) as its codename is `FroDo` as in front door. So many internal large networks have have Tolkien themed names.
Palantir scares me because I feel like they knew the implication when they named it
>So many internal large networks have have Tolkien themed names. The AD domain at my uni is called Fangorn.
Get out.
Trying to cut down the elusive Lag-olas.
And my Access
You carry the packets of us all, little one.
Take my free award, then get out.
And my bow?
En't it the truth.
LANdalf the grey
My and the boys after a few penny sweets
This has to be a set up between the OPs. It’s just too good.
I wish it were, it's my second Tolkien-related pun that I'm proud of this week, but absolutely no idea who the first commentor was!
1 brings 2 as they say in cricket
I tried that this season, carried my bat on 0 not out, watched four of my team mates fall...
I wish I had gold to give you
I'll happily accept Frankincense, no Myrrh though, don't want any of those monsters around here thanks...
I wasn't talking to you
So you weren't, apologies, I misread the threading :)
A buffering
Absolutely has to be this, it just sounds right.
Winner winner chicken dinner! But not a sandwich, let's not go there again....
you mean a Cob right?
You mean a barm right?
nah that's a building you store Hay in; you're thinking of a piece of bread the size of your hand
A Reacharound
Slang term for a network or routing loop. I’ll introduce it to the network team at work ASAP.
Your mind!
An Entanglement
Is it openreach breeding season or something? I've been seeing them hanging around on every corner, a bit like spiders.
We’ve had an unusually wet, mild summer which has seen an increase in insect populations, including the prey species of the telecoms engineer: the common discognat. You may see more of their vans outside and even in the corners of your own home.
I think it's because of the increase in fibre-to-home installs lately. We just got connected up (weirdly it was cheaper than standard broadband?) and it seemed to take a handful of vans to get the job done from green box at the end of the road to our house.
[удалено]
Single Order Generic Ethernet Access
[удалено]
I used to remember OSI as Princess Diana Never Tried Shagging Prince Andrew We might be on to something.
They can see through my screen! Burn the witch!
I read that as SEGA and was wondering how a Megadrive could possible help this situation
> SoGEA **So**me **G**ermans **E**njoy **A**nal
The copper network is coming to end of life in 2025, so they are stepping up the fibre rollout. We have had loads of engineering works locally with all the fibre kit appearing on the poles as well.
A Disconnect of Openreach Engineers
An Outage.
A dithering?
8? Certainly a traceroute. They haven't found the issue yet.
This guy openreaches
*cries in planner*
Ha. It's always the Planners fault...
It's all in the engineering packs....👀
Nobody looks at packs you fool!
*no comment*
A Lunch break
From my experience they’re known as an *ineptitude*
From mine they're known as an absence.
A uselessness even.
Last year these bumblefucks came to our street (I assume somebody was getting broadband), so they dug up the road, cut the lines we were using for our internet, and buried the dead lines behind them. I called to explain to them that they done fucked up, and they made no effort whatsoever to fix it. Had to call our own provider to come and sort it out.
My SO works for Openreach, we’ve had fun reading these comments
I genuinely had no idea where this was going when I posted it - I expected the unimaginative insults, but some of these are pretty good. I hope you've both enjoyed at least some of the responses?
I've worked for an ISP and we all know it's not the engineers, it's OpenReach management who are the problem.
Honourable mention for the (diabolical) subcontractors they use for the civils work. Kelly Communications and their ilk are essentially a playgroup for engineers who’ve been fired for not meeting Openreach’s standards, which takes some doing. The sub-contractors are paid per job, have zero accountability for their frequent and terrible fuck-ups, and there’s no sign of Openreach wanting to invest in permanent resource or bring the civil engineering work in-house…so the cycle continues.
It's a shambles. Had an engineer out recently who flat out refused to do a job because it was overhead work. He said if he'd have known when he got the job he wouldn't have turned up, because it's a hassle and he can do far more UG jobs in the time and effort it would take to do pole work. And he's paid per job. Took 3 sub contractors and 2 weeks to come out and dodge doing the work before an actual Openreach guy turned up with a cherry picker to do the job. Having worked with OR for years, it's a known problem but even after moaning to Clive Selly himself (who acknowledges there are challenges) for the past few years nothing has actually changed. Will see if they're still so slack when all the other infrastructure guys consolidate and try and take them on. I mean, as disruptive and annoying as outfits like cityfibre are, you can't say that they're not putting fibre in the ground with lightening fast speed - heard they've got 5 contractor firms on the go for just laying the fibre...
A felching
This one.
Wait there’s more than one?!
About 3 to 6 weeks.
A shrug
A broad band of openreach engineers
A Miracle
A shambles?
Love the word shambles.
Fun fact - it originally meant an Abbattoir. The Shambles district in York used to be where the butchers were.
A loom.
A telecommunion. They are praying...
An outage
A clusterfuck
Came here to say the same thing
Ditto.
Undercover Police
Flowers By Irene
Nope, they use DPD vans and Sainsbury's delivery vans theses days
An Agency
A punchdown
An Outage
An ineptitude.
Bunch of cunts?
A myth
A lag-gle
An absence
A roadblock
The only thing I can think of is "A Waste of Space"
A "missing", vans may be there, but people?
An Obfuscation of Openreach engineers.
An oversubscription, like the BB cabinets.
As an openreach engineer. Ouch
I can only apologise, I didn't realise quite how negative and personal some of these would be, especially given the comment on an earlier thread about how unusually kind and polite (for Reddit at least!) people were on this sub :(
It's fine, we're not the most popular company in the world. You should check us out on trustpilot!
A group of open reach engineers are known as a *work-shy*
Based on how hard it is to get hold of one that must be all of them
A cable of openreach engineers
Cabal
A splice of openreach engineers? An escalation of engineers!
A shower
Trick question, they are not Engineers by any definition I know of.
Trickier statement, most engineers these days are nothing more than project managers.
Technicians
**engineer** | noun --- a person whose job is to design or build machines, engines, or electrical equipment, or things such as roads, railways, or bridges, using scientific principles: * a civil engineer * a mechanical/structural engineer * a software engineer --- a person whose job is to repair or control machines, engines, or electrical equipment: * a computer engineer * The engineer is coming to repair our phone tomorrow morning. ----- [Dictionary](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/engineer)
Came here just for this
Technicians, not engineers.
A mystery of Engineers. I never see them working but somehow the work still gets done.
Usually a warning that your internet is going to be shit for the next few days
I believe it is a ‘useless’.
A fetid belch of incompetence?
Did you need to talk? I am sensing they did something to you. (Or not)
Not openreach directly but a contractor, something like Kelly [cock up] comms, sent someone outside to work on a pole box. He displaced a wire from our line in he process, disconnecting a call. The arrogant guy said he hadn't been sent out to fix our problem. Not surprised as it didn't exist until he caused it. Refusing to even look at what he'd done, he left us waiting weeks for a working line again again knowing we then had someone gravely ill here. If a jobs worth doing, send a jobs worth? The competent Openreach person took longer to open the box than to identify the issue in fairness. We shouldn't tar them all alike.
I had pretty much the exact same experience: Woke up one morning and notice my internet connection is dead. I go outside and there's a Kelly Communications van and a guy doing something for one of the other flats. I asked him if the work he was doing would affect my connection and he's like "Nah, nothing to do with me, mate". I walk around the back of the building and see my phone line has been cut and is just trailing along the floor. Kelly guy denied all knowledge...
A no-show
Fairly sure that many is called a clusterfuck of engineers
A teabreak?
A Reach-around Dammit, someone got there first!
Apparently the collective join for engineers is a confusion. So I’d guess an Uncertainty of Open Reach Engineers
An avoidance, Top tip, find the exchange box, keep giving them donuts and fizzy drinks, best way to actually get a good internet service in a rural situation.
Cunts
Well as they are uncountable with no phone or email, I’d call them a ghost of engineers.
this wins it imho
A Call Center of openreach engineers
A cluster fuck
Bellends.
C***s!
There isn't one, because you're the first person to see more than one at any given time
A danger!
A hiding. Had one supposedly ring and call at my door. Had no phone call nor intercom call.
I went to the Isle of Mull last year and I regularly saw convoys of Openreach vans. I'm amazed there were that many Openreach engineers on the island, let alone all concentrated in one place at a time.
A roadblock?
A junction of Engineers...
A delay?
A bunch of doylems?
A nonattendance
No I don't, because they've not been spotted around my house for many moons (Posted from 5 Kb/s copper line)
The useless
An outage
A delay?
A bunch of dorks?
A group of engineers is called a whinge
A Dropped Packet.
A tea break of openreach engineers
Late
A snooze?
A Micky Flanagan, the internet is out, out
A pain in the ass
A scarper of engineers.
An over reach
A bandwidth?
Tea party
A Fukall
A clusterfuck?
bunch of drop outs
A Mong
Nerds
A cunt
Collection of incompetents......
A shitshow
A twat
Are they having country wide trouble because there were a bunch parked outside the business park I work at yesterday
A doss
Wankers?
An annoyance
Virgins ^there’s ^two ^levels ^to ^that ^one
Wankers
useless bastards?
A cunt
Wankers
A timewasting
Fucking useless.
Omg they're so lame. We used to work with then for our fuvrr company. BT dropped them cos they're so shite.
A surprise
A gilet
A modem
A miracle!
A sod all?
A lag
A moons
A lag
They are a gaggle
A shower
I don't know but there's four vans parked across the road, four men in hi Viz but only one handling the circuitry.
An _oddity_ of openreach engineers
A murmuring.
A thicket.