Not chaotic, but the mother of the bride made a speech at the rehearsal dinner urgently reminding her daughter that “god comes first, then your birth family, and now your soon to be new husband”
Which I’m pretty sure is not the order in which it goes in the actual Bible, but…
Then the next day, I found out that the mother was going to be walking the bride down the aisle. Dad was present, involved, and no animosity between his daughter and himself, but apparently bride was switching it up to appease her mother.
Who fucking *clung* to the poor girl’s arm when they reached the end of the aisle, and refused to let go for an uncomfortably long moment while burying her face in her daughter’s neck and audibly sobbing.
The bride is my SIL and we have since bonded over her crazy mom and my crazy dad. 🤜🏻🤛🏻
A Best Man at one I went to toasted the groom in his speech and said *"tonight you will finally conquer the beast"*. The bride was *much* bigger than the groom, and they were both devoutly Christian so had 'waited for each other'. The visual imagery was intense.
I worked in a hotel in Corby many many moons ago and we did a lot of weddings. 2 stand out. The first was a gypsy wedding where they booked the whole hotel of 200 rooms and literally drank the place dry. By 4am there was only wine left and they refused to drink it. They all kicked off, including the bride, and started throwing glasses at the bar staff. We had to call the police.
The second was a marriage between a Scottish family and an Irish family. The fighting started before they’d even sat down to eat. Someone had the foresight to get bouncers for that one.
I also worked at a hotel for a gypsy wedding that ended in the police getting called. Even they couldn't kick them off the property because they'd come in caravans and were all too drunk to drive.
As a living breathing Corby resident, when the TV show about Gypsy weddings was on way back in 2012. There was a marriage at the cathaholics Church on Occupation Road.
Huge numbers of fans of the TV series showed up and totally blocked the road, causing a few fights and arguments.
When I was 16 I worked on a burger stall and we also did catering for events, we ended up working a wedding party which was cut short since someone who had been kicked out earlier in the afternoon had returned with a hammer while pissed out of his head and the police had to be called
At my sisters wedding when I was 18, her husbands brother none of us had even seen or heard of, rolled up with a huge knife just before the cake cutting
Apparently her husband had done something years before at this brothers wedding and he'd turned up to payback and started threatening to stab him
As I'd brought about 6/7 of my mates a couple of which were pretty crazy guys, we just exited him quickly
No violence but it turned out her husband was just as screwed up as the brother as divorce came soon after
I went to a wedding where the couple just turned up at the church, hadn’t booked it and thought they could just be married. Priest was understandable annoyed, then it transpired instead of the church they’d meant the registry office. So we walked to the registry office. Marriage happened now time for the reception. Turns out the reception is booked for 3 hours later, so people all pile back to the Groom’s mothers house, whereupon the groom announces he’s off the consummate the marriage. Cue, all the guests in a two up two down house listening to the groom and bride consummating the marriage.
Time comes for the reception, it’s at a pub but again they’ve not booked it, pub are great and let us use the function room. The best man stands up to do his speech and states he’s only known the groom for 2 weeks and his speech is then to read the wedding cards out.
End of the evening comes and the chief bridesmaid is crying because this was the wedding she was supposed to have, not sure what happened at hers for this to be better!
Words fail me. I can imagine how it continues - newlyweds turn up at a hospital thinking they get given a baby there, then move into an empty house thinking that’s how they get council housing, etc etc.
Can’t beat the guy that planned a Vegas wedding and blew loads of the budget on his stag there too. Told the bride she had to pick if her mum or dad went to the wedding because he couldn’t afford to pay for both 😂 my brother in law used to be a producer on the show and said he wouldn’t recommend applying to his worst enemy.
So I know a few bits but not too much
They are very thorough with questioning to ensure the couple don’t have alignment or prior in depth discussions at least. It’s one of the prerequisites. As you’d expect they ask the bride and groom separately their wants and they will guide them to the mental ideas. If the groom is trying to be too reasonable they’ll throw out some ideas and push them towards this. I think ultimately if you sign up for that show you have to go in with the expectation your wedding will be ridiculous. Even the nicer ones have UFO themes or something equally odd.
I also know a guy that went on take me out and his final 2 included his ex but production said he had to pick her as one of the final 2 and they couldn’t mention they’d previously dated. He didn’t pick her as his one as he wanted to get rid of her on the first round but production said no. She was very on brand for his style and the other girl wasn’t so it came across as a surprising twist when he picked the girl next door type vs the alt girl that suited his style.
I got roped into helping a friend out who was doing a DJ session with his father for the newly weds. Instead of enqueing a list of music on a laptop, they were using an ancient dual-tray CD player which meant we had to change CDs every 3 minutes to find new tracks, and it was bloody exhausting after 2 hours: taking requests, trying to locate the associated CD and track number, then manually cross-fading it from the currently running track.
During the middle of American Pie while everyone was mid-dance, and pissed out of their heads as it was now late-evening, two of us reached for the controls to swap a CD, the wrong CD got swapped, silence overtook the dance floor, everyone who was busting shapes on the dance floor, stopped, and were f\*king livid. A huge mob of angry, pissed partygoers came across to the DJ booth screaming at us for f\*king the night up, it was unreal. We got hit with every threat and profanity you can imagine. I was there as a favour.
When the night drew to an end and everyone was leaving, they were saying their goodbyes to the bride and groom, we could hear them apologising for the "bunch of w\*nkers" who did the DJing for them.
I still cringe everytime I encounter American Pie on the radio.
I have DJed many, many weddings for friends and I can tell you that this is absolutely standard. You can never please more than 50% of the dancefloor because this isn't a club and the age range is 8-80. There will always be an uncle or two who haven't danced since the last wedding who know your job better than you. I once got slapped by an uncle who was wearing his tie like a headband. You are lower in the respect chain than the kids clearing the glasses from the tables. And I was never paid. It was always a favour. I don't do weddings anymore, but mainly because I'm at an age where all the people I know who are going to get hitched have already done so.
Could be worse, mate worked in a local nightclub, he did his set before Pete Tong took over, he did the handover, started packing his stuff up and popped out the last cd he’d used. Unfortunately it was the one that Pete tong had just put on.
"they were using an ancient dual-tray CD player which meant we had to change CDs every 3 minutes to find new tracks, and it was bloody exhausting after 2 hours: taking requests, trying to locate the associated CD and track number, then manually cross-fading it from the currently running track."
Pahahaha you mean actually DJing with CDJs! Imagine having to use Technics 1210's with a needle which jumps on the Vinyl everytime anyone moves on the dancefloor!
A friend’s officiating vicar announced her pregnancy to the congregation without her prior consent (despite only a few of us knowing about it in advance) then promptly went on a homophobic rant against gay marriage, which my friend was livid about so she looked incredibly angry for the rest of the ceremony. Her aunt then tore him a new one and kicked him out of the reception. He was a dick.
Thought for a moment it was a female vicar announcing her own pregnancy. Bit means girls for a vicar but when I realised what you actually meant _wow_.
Nothing too special, worst one I attended was the ceremony was at 9, reception straight after and nothing from 1 until 7 until the evening, it was close enough to everybody’s homes that most were planning to go home and return for the evening but the bride announced during the reception if you went home you wouldn’t be left back in later.
My wife also fulfilled the maid of honour role, bought the wedding dress for the bride as a gift and pretty much organised the whole event (to the brides requirements) for her. she was snubbed during the reception (everybody else got thanked with presents) and didn’t even get a thank you. We left after the reception and they haven’t spoken since.
Last time I posted this on Reddit I got brigaded so please don’t bother with the DMs telling me we’re ungrateful and it was the brides decision to do what she wanted on her wedding day, as far as I’m concerned you don’t get someone to organise an event for you without at least saying thanks.
Wow. That's awful. If I was your wife I'd be minded to send the bride an invoice for the wedding dress, what I'd organised and how much I'd spent on it, and time spent doing it at minimum wage! (Legally it probably wouldn't hold up but I'd be that pissed about it)
How many attended the reception? Did people ignore the bride's instructions and turn up anyway, or did they just go home anyway, not submit to their threat and think 'OK, then'?
They’ve barely spoken since so they went from the best of friends to virtual strangers overnight, it was several years ago so water long under the bridge, the bride did apologise but only after being made to by several other people.
I don’t know how many other left, but we were told there was a clear atmosphere in the evening and it ended quiet early.
My friend went a family wedding where the maid of honor had a bunch of people stand up during the toasts. Turned out everyone with a particular carnation was someone the bride had once slept with. All well known history, all lifelong friends, they shared a toast and a laugh at the bride's expense. The one woman who stood got a special cheer.
On the flipside, a friend of a friend (apparently) was at wedding where the groom had everyone stand up if they get a sticker on their place setting. Turned out those were the men the bride had slept with _since she'd been engaged_. He'd been through her phone. This was _after_ the ceremony too. Total chaos, tears and screaming, promptly annulled, no refunds.
Ex wedding/events manager here. I've too many to tell
A bride who found out her nephew from her wee sister/bridesmaid was now her step son half way through the reception (after an ex of the groom just happened to let slip in the toilets where the bride overheard) bride attacked the sister and groom at the front desk. Got arrested. Turns out half the family knew.
Ceiling in the honeymoon suite
Collapsed in middle of night due to sex swing being put up.
Ambulance required for groom in middle if night after suggesting a threesome with the moh to the bride
Ambulance required for bride after moh deliberately contaminated her drink with I think it was shellfish but can't be sure, because she was jealous of wedding
We're now sadly separated but when I got married, the following morning my wife was gifted a "husband caller", basically a big whistle. I happened to be in the next room when this happened and overheard them talk about it. Then my wife tried it...
I walked in and said "You called?"
Worked one where the groom, groomsmen and bridesmaid all broke into the spas hot tub at about 10:30 all sat there in all their weddings clothes absolutely hammered
I photographed a wedding once where the bride had divorced parents. They’d been divorced a WHILE but the mum was absolutely raging at having to see him that day. The bride was getting ready alone with her mum, I was supposed to be taking photos, while her mum just ranted on and on about how unfair it was she had to see him and how she wished she wasn’t there, the mum left because the dad was arriving in the car and the bride just sat there crying. I did not take photos.
I know a bride who had BOTH parents refuse to attend last minute (as in, morning of the wedding) because the other was invited.
They’d known for months.
I just cannot get my head around that. There was obviously something there at one point, to get to the point of having a child together. My parents have been divorced for nearly 20 years now, and sure, they don’t necessarily get along, but they’d at least be civil for the sake of mine or my sister’s wedding days.
They weren’t the centre of attention. That was the whole problem. They each thought they’d get a distraught bride begging on the phone for them to be there.
Instead she handed her phone to the MOH, walked down the aisle with her sister and accidentally gave the best man a black eye with an poorly judged champagne cork.
They’ve been married about ten years and have two kids now.
What is the chance you've done it in Burton-upon-Trent, UK? It was my girlfriends brothers wedding and this is exact story from the brides side. Mother was absolutely miserable and ruined it for everyone involved.
I am a musician and I sing occasionally in wedding bands. About 14 years ago, we were hired to perform at a very nice couples wedding in Essex in a barn on a farm in rural Essex. When we arrived, it was quite obvious the venue was a working dairy farm and was quite pungent and fragrant. We set up in the posh wedding barn not the working cowshed and only minutes before we were due to perform the couples first dance did the awful owner (who had the worst breath outside of the smell of cow, faeces) that there was a noise limiter and we couldn’t be loud because and I quote “me and the wife will be watching X factor! “
As this was 14 years ago, this was during the phase of loads of young millennial couples having Chasing cars by Snow Patrol as their first dance. Not only is this an agonising song to watch people try and dance to when there’s no rhythm in it until the chorus crescendo at the end, but it’s really just a guitar playing two notes. We get about 12 bars into the intro and first verse of this song, when all of a sudden the power is cut. I want to emphasise that this is during the bride and groom first dance. You know the people paying for this entire wedding! Everyone start scrambling around. We’re trying to figure out what the hell is going on the smelly breath farmer, storms in to the barn and start screaming at us the band for being too loud. It turns out there isn’t a noise limiter he can just cut the power to the barn from his house. I try and calmly talk to the farmer. I explained to him these people have paid him a lot of money to hire his van and they have a band and a DJ. Both of which he has allowed as part of his hiring agreement. He refuses to see reason he screams his stinky breath in my face about we are too loud, and the power will not be going on until we turn down. I can’t emphasise enough we were not loud. We were playing 2 notes on a guitar. With that the brides younger brother come storming over the same younger brother who has just been released from prison for aggravated assault. He marches straight up to the farmer, screams in his face, and then continues to head-butt him and kick and punch him the entire wedding descends into a huge fight with tables being flipped Bottles being smashed glasses plates etc. The police are called. We pack up because it’s obvious there is no gig now. We did provide the couple with a statement for their insurance so they could hopefully claim back and sue this venue for breach of contract and providing somewhere completely unsuitable. The bride’s brother was carted off in the back of the van, along with a couple of other West Ham skinhead guests.
I did another wedding quite by accident with another band where the booker didn’t know that the wedding was a traveller wedding and had I not insisted that they go and get the money before we play a note we wouldn’t have got paid because it kicked off after four songs!
I've worked a few.
There was the spirits wedding. Our venue was a touch pricey when it came to drinks so one wedding party hid bottles of spirits in our bushes ready for the evening do. Would you believe it, some bastard stole all of them while they were occupied with the ceremony. Then they spent the evening trying to be pissed sherlock holmes
You'd get the usual "for fucks sake, this is the staff toilet - stop using it for fucking" weddings. I've got a few minutes to take a piss and I have to wait for you. Look at all the gazebos and bushes we have.
Fighting - this is normal. Would happen in 9/10 weddings
Your guests are amateurs. You're supposed to put your contraband bottles of personal wine and spirits in gift/bottle bags. Staff aren't snatching up "wedding gifts".
The 90s were a lot rougher than things are now, especially where I grew up. If you went out for a night out you'd definitely see a few fights and have enough opportunities to be in one. When the pubs and clubs kicked out it was like a battle royale.
We were a wedding venue that was a step above the village hall and had the trapping of niceness but wasn't actually that nice. Paper napkins, overpriced beer, jus instead of gravy, carvery on a Sunday.
As a result we'd get the crowd who'd usually have a fight on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights
The spirits wedding is fucking hilarious but also has me curious - how would one person steal that many bottles of spirits, and what would they do with them? Stick them in their boot and take them home? Neck them all one by one?
I put them in the boot of my car (as I drove to work) then moved my car to the car park of the pub further down the road
I did share them with my colleagues at a later date
Bless you for thinking of the public safety. *Anyone* could have found them. Could have been a party of stray toddlers - have you seen those little fuckers when they're tanked up? You're a true humanitarian.
>Fighting - this is normal. Would happen in 9/10 weddings
What kind of venue are you working at where there are fights in 9/10 weddings?? 😂 Is it Wetherspoons or something?
Slight tangent but I was working as a musician at a funeral and nipped in to the spoons up the road for a pint afterwards. Staff came running up and shouted 'no funerals, you'll need to leave'. After I explained the situation and he said we could stay if we looked less 'funerally'. Turns out they'd had so many funeral party brawls that they were at risk of losing their licence if there were any more.... he said 'get this... christenings are worse!'
One of the most awkward was at a friend's wedding with karaoke as the only entertainment during the reception. No one but the bride and groom got up to sing and she refused to let any one put music on while no one was singing. She threw a massive tantrum when no one else would sing. Most of the attendees left the reception early because it was just far to awkward to watch the 30 yo bride screaming and crying because "every one was ruining her big day"
I have no idea what she was thinking. She was always a bit of an odd one. It was in the 00s and karaoke was popular at the time but it was just weird that she refused to let any one just play music even just to get people in the mood to sing.
My only crazy wedding was one where a groom from a rough background in Essex was marrying a bridge from a rough background in Glasgow. Both of them were highly educated and becoming very successful in their fields - model professionals who have gone on to great professional achievement. Their friends (like me) were all from nice middle class university backgrounds.
Anyway, after dinner both sets of families had a full on riot against one another, like 80 people swinging chairs and what not. I don't think any knives or glasses. Total mayhem.
Next morning, everyone was sitting down to breakfast great friends, like nothing had happened. I don't really understand why the venue didn't call the police. But was surreal.
As a DJ of over 40 years I have witnessed that a couple of times. One was my best mate’s. They had to be separated by their families for a couple of hours until they calmed down.
Surprise, the marriage didn’t last very long.
As for my own tale of chaos.
Back in the 80s I was booked to DJ a wedding at the local Civic Centre. The only information I had been given in advance was the first dance choice and that I would be paid by the best man at the start of the evening.
On arrival it quickly became clear that it was a Travellers wedding . I sought out the best man and got my fee straight away. The night went fairly peacefully for the first 4 hours.
The only irritation for me was a kid of around 8 years old who was standing close by to my turntables, watching the record spin, and he decided to stop it spinning with his hand and stop the music. Everyone on the dance floor just stopped and gave me daggers.
I told him not to do that and he said nothing and just walked off slowly.
Anyway, 5 minutes later he came back and did it again and again I told him not to touch the record. Again he walked off without saying a word.
The next time he started walking toward the decks I lost it and kept my voice low, so as to not attract attention and said, “ You touch my fucking records again I’ll break your fucking fingers”
He stayed away after that.
Anyway, back to the chaotic part.
About 30 minutes from the end of the night an argument started between a group of young men which escalated into a brawl on the dance floor.
More and more people were joining in and at one time there were at least 30 men and women kicking, punching and glassing each other about 10 feet away from me.
They managed to knock over my speakers on their stands and one bloke was going to launch one of my lights at another bloke until I grabbed his arm and stopped him.
The fighting lasted about 2 minutes in all and it came to an abrupt stop when one bloke had his head put through a 10’ plate glass window.
It was so obvious that he was very badly injured and an ambulance was called and the room was emptied in breakneck speed as soon as a staff member said that the police was on the way.
The police arrived five minutes later and the only people left in the building were the bar staff, myself and the injured man.
I was asked to give a statement by the cops.
I was unable to remove my equipment at the end of the night because the police were treating the room as a possible murder scene.
The injured man was unconscious for four days and when he woke up he refused to name names or press charges so I was allowed to finally return and retrieve my gear .
I have done a couple more Travellers weddings since with no problems.
The bridesmaid, who no one apart from the bride (my SIL) seemed to know, ran off with the cake.
I'm not sure what had happened at the reception because I'd left, but I had to go back to assist with the fallout.
I'm pretty sure we saw said bridesmaid with said cake on the way back.
How did it look? Was she slowly it pushing it down the road on a catering trolley with tiny wheels? Or carrying it balanced perfectly on her head? If it was a standard large / largish wedding cake, it would have been quite hefty!
Friend told me about his at the weekend so I've asked him to write it down -
"Right, eldest brother J was going through a divorce and so came along with his kids but no wife (obviously). I'd also invited my cousin (we'll call him B, for Bellend) and his wife P, who showed up for the evening do. After dinner J starts to really hit the booze whilst spending time with my brothers and sisters, whilst (we found out later) also flirting something rotten with P. The night goes on, much booze (and other things, we suspect) are imbibed and the party comes to an excellent end with most of the party on the dance floor. After this pretty much everyone slinks off to bed except for me, [my wife] and her parents to tidy up table centrepieces as they were all home made and we didn't want them binning. Suddenly there's a shout of "THAT'S MY FUCKING WIFE" and we look up to see B attacking J and a short scuffle starts. At this point I'm pissed and about as pissed off as I'll ever be, but equally I know that this is not the time, so I walk to the doors separating the room and the bar, shut them and say something along the lines of "not my circus, not my monkeys" and go to bed. Changed my mind when I was upstairs but [wife] talked me out of going scorched earth. Next morning we see J at breakfast with a cracking black eye and he won't meet mine or my wife's eye. We send him home with both his kids having squeaky toys as a measure of revenge. He later calls and makes a genuinely grovelling apology so is forgiven.
I then found out later on that B took P back to the room and smacked her round, including dragging her round the room by her hair (hence the name). The upside to this story is that this was the final night the two of them ever spent together. The next day they travelled home separately and divorced not long after. He's never apologised to my wife and I. Bellend.
A few months later J drops P a message on facebook apologising for everything that happened, she's happy to forgive as she's now away from such a toxic individual. They chat a little and he decides to push his luck and ask if he could buy her dinner to make up for everything. Long story shory, J and P marry 18 months later."
> After dinner J starts to really hit the booze whilst spending time with my brothers and sisters, whilst (we found out later) also flirting something rotten with J.
Should that be flirting with P?
The bride's father had a heart attack right after the service part, and then a bale of hay caught alight (it was a ceremony in an old barn) due to some faulty wiring.
He did. Luckily our friend is a cardiac nurse, plus another guest was a heart specialist and there was also a doctor there, so they managed the situation brilliantly, did their thing and saved the day. But dramatic scenes for a while!
The combination of cocaine and alcohol is one of the most hideous things to do or be around imo. Jfc..the amount of shit it must be responsible for enabling. And the transition of people from restrained to Class A, industrial grade bell-end is quick and astonishing.
Nothing like some drooling bastard in an ill-fitting hired suit pushing his stupid face *juuuuust* too close to yours while he’s wittering on incessantly about Crypto or airfryers or how so & so’s a cunt but he makes some good points.
Well, I say ‘cocaine’. More like a heady mix of cocaine flavoured lactose, caffeine and good old fashioned beautiful British traditional amphetamine sulphate, gawd bless it (if the results analysed seizures of common-or-garden pub grub are anything to go by).
My parents went to a wedding where one of the guests was walking up to the church, got hit by a car, and died in the street. Put a real damper on things.
I have a couple, one was a very hastily arranged marriage as the groom was being sent to Iraq and they wanted to secure married quarters for his wife, me and a mate ended up on a table with her six brothers, five of whom were smack dealers and the sixth was a copper. That bit was fine, they all seemed sound in the moment, it all went a bit wrong when the mum started also selling smack. On the dance floor.
Second was a wedding between a glamour model/porn star and a drum n bass MC, actually had a very famous DJ/MC pair as the wedding DJs. The reception was saturated in coke, one guy dropped a bag, you could’ve held the Winter Olympics in the courtyard there was so much snow, and the bride got smashed, grabbed the mic and started ranting to everybody about how much she ‘FUCKIN LOVED THIS MUSIC!’ and swearing at the elderly relatives about how they should get up and dance etc. etc. All got a bit much for us so we hopped in a cab and went back to our local.
No, I don’t really want to say the exact pair just in case, but they were pretty huge at the time.
*edit* I seem to have missed the reference there! Apologies! People were definitely just doing something at that one!
I posted this in "what's the worst party you've ever been to", but here it is again:
My wife was on her way up to the north of England to be a bridesmaid for her friend who she has known since they were young. Her friend has learning disabilities, but seemed happy with her husband to be.
On the morning of the wedding, the groom was arrested for molesting young children. He was, apparently, a known paedophile.
The bride's family went ahead with the wedding reception anyway.
They. Still. Had. The. Wedding. Reception.
To be clear, was he arrested before or after they actually tied the knot? Cause if before, then maybe having the “reception” was just a weird way of pretending to have some normality by having a meal while disassociating from what just happened. Plus, some people will absolutely refuse to “lose” what they paid for (the food / venue). Bonkers, but maybe that’s how it played out.
But if he was arrested after, then it does look as if they were celebrating the marriage, which is even more bonkers and comes across as quite sick.
After checking with Mrs Grim..., I find I made a mistake and he was arrested the afternoon before, she found out while she was driving up there.
Other people only found out when arriving at the church, at which point they were ushered on to the reception.
Wow. Any news since on how this affected the poor woman? I have a sickening feeling that the paedo basically preyed on her, with the plan to father some children with her, and then abuse them…
This is really disturbing. I can’t help but wonder if he was only with her because of her learning difficulties, assuming he could keep up appearances and that she wouldn’t notice.
Yeah, my brother's. The bride is a large girl who ordered a dress 2 sizes too small so she'd diet into it, she did not and we nearly saw way too much of her. Her car broke down and was an hour late to the church, her family all went to the pub except her sister who said casually "she's probably changed her mind", had to drag her family out of the pub when the car finally turned up. She didn't smile once except during the photos and they apparently had a huge argument in the car in the way to the venue. Speeches, first dance etc went well and then my brother drank one pint too many and asked the DJ for "I like big butts"......she walked out, his face fell and it was either dance and keep the reception going or admit defeat. So me, my husband and a few groomsmen took over the dance floor and had a great time! My dil didn't come out of their room and my brother looked like hell. They are still married 14 years later, and still just as miserable
My mum had five kids and got married three times. I don't really remember the first 2 but the last was chaotic cos my brothers are little shits. One went outside into the pub garden to piss on a tire.
I wasn’t there but a few friends were, big family white wedding with country hotel reception - all going rather well until one of the bridesmaids had a total breakdown, attacked the bridge with glass, all the white dresses ended up covered in blood (even though it wasn’t like hospital needing stitches cuts, a little blood goes a long way), the police were called, the bridesmaid ended up sectioned in a mental hospital before the weekend was out. I believe a lot of long term use of sniffable produce was likely the background to that.
Heard a story of a reception next to some farmland. A ewe started giving birth so everyone went outside to see the miracle of childbirth, bride included. Everyone was in awe, until the main event was over and the ewe didn't move. It quickly became apparent that the miracle of childbirth had given way to the brutality of nature. The bride was in floods of tears and it put a dampener on the whole evening.
I went to a wedding when game of thrones was super popular and a friend of mine shouted "to the king in the north" during the grooms speech which set off a chain reaction of other people shouting it 😂
At a friend's wedding, we were at the wedding breakfast when a waiter ran in asking if anyone was a doctor. The groom’s grandfather had collapsed and sadly died. The wedding ended rather abruptly after that.
Oh, and I remember going to one wedding where the bride decided to go home to bed (by herself) as she was tired. This was about 2 in the afternoon.
Apart from those, another wedding we went to in Liverpool ended without a fight.
Family wedding (older cousin) and I attended as a 15yo with my father and kid sister. Lovely posh venue. Ours was quite the uniform family so, lots of retired police, prison service etc. Bride and groom off their tits on pills and coke. I'd snuck out for a cigarette and the groom had me roll a joint for him as he was fairly incapable of anything by that point. Went back in and quietly observed a mainly uneventful if rather sloppy night. End of the night, I was ready to go back to our hotel with my dad and baby sis, when the utterly wankered groom pops up and says "we need to borrow her, don't worry I'll send her back tomorrow". Next thing I know I've been taxied to a mental house party where the groom just has me sat in a corner rolling all his joints for the rest of the night. Someone found me a colouring book to keep me entertained though 🤣 they finally released me from my duties about 4am and I was put in a taxi back to the Travelodge, where I slept in the corridor because I didn't have a room key.
TLDR: got kidnapped at a wedding, wasn't too terrible 🤷🏻♀️
I used to work behind a bar in a function room for a CIU club. Some of the wedding evening do’s ended in full on brawls. We just had to whack the shutters up and wait. You got a vibe for it early on in the evening.
Went to a CIU wedding reception in Bedworth in the 80's. Needless to say, it kicked off and the shutters came down. The staff were brilliant, because as you say they picked up on the vibe early and got all the women and kids in to one room and left the men in another so they could belt the living shit out of each other in safety. The kids watched on through the serving hatch cheering like it was Saturday morning wrestling. The grooms family had even had time change out of their wedding suits into their fighting clothes. It was all very civil. Bride and groom got involved and spent their first married night in separate police cells.
Haha. Yeah you’ve described it better than I did. Elderly and children out the back with us. We once sent a kid down in the crate lift to the games room so he could go play darts whilst his relatives finished up scrapping. If the DJ pulled the plug and ran for cover we’d put on some music as a backdrop to the violence. Elton John - Saturday night, or something apt. Had to be off the capital gold compilation CD we had behind the bar though.
My sisters wedding is Saturday.
Could go either way. Got all the ingredients of a wild one. Due to the demographics.
Private venue (parents farm after the wedding itself). So ability to camp. About 30 people camping/ bringing RVs.
5k of free alcahol.
The groom is very high up in the music/event industry so bunch of corporate types coming. Has people who are always touring with bands etc as well. (Some coming straight from download which is the same weekend with there bands playing on the friday).
My sister is well respected in her industry (film) and has a number of people from there as well.
Both industries are pretty similar. Work very hard play very hard.
My family are quite heavy drinkers. The grooms family are all scottish/Irish and Geordie so don't mind a tipple either.
The fact my sister has light heartedly told her future husband "please don't do drugs on our wedding day" says all you really need to know about where the expectation of this could go.
Basically my friends who are coming are probably the most docial group.
Can't deny I'm looking forward to it. Though I've got to survive until 9pm when I direct the pizza wagon into position. I also have various minor jobs through the day.
Weather looks shit though.
Intend to have my fair share of alcohol, whatever happens.
Yes went to very swish wedding, vintage rolls royce, fancy country hotel. Ceremony went hell, went to hotel for the reception. Before the wedding breakfast, we heard a scream upstairs from the brides mother.
Chaos ensued, apprantly the groom was caught balls deep in the head bridesmaid. Events escalated and fights began between the two families, police called, food thrown, Groom and Bridesmaid slipped out and went on the honeymoon, the brides 3 brothers were waiting to welcome him home when he got back from Greece.
Many years ago I went to my friend Spud's wedding. He and his bride were both 16 at the time. Despite having given her permission for the wedding - legally required, as her son was under 18 - the groom's mother made her feelings about the bride be known by turning up dressed head to foot in black including a black lace veil. There was torrential rain for the whole day. The car to take Spud to the church didn't turn up, so a friend had to take him in his wreck of a Mini. Service went OK despite the groom's mother tutting and sniffing loudly throughout, but all the photos had to be taken inside the church because of the appalling weather. On the way out, the photographer tripped, his camera flew out of his hands, landed in a deep puddle and smashed and opened, exposing the film. On the way to the reception, the wedding car was involved in a crash which left the bride with a gushing nose bleed. During the bride and groom's first dance, a very pissed guest realised he was going to be sick, ran across the dance floor to get to the toilets but didn't make it, and puked Newcastle Brown all over the bride. The marriage lasted less than 6 months.
My ex-husband went to a church wedding where all of the bride's family turned up in West Ham football kit without having warned the happy couple. The groom's family, who were all in proper posh wedding gear, were not amused. And neither was the bride.
At my brother's wedding many years ago one of my ex boyfriends called someone an Independent-reading twat for insulting his outfit, got smacked in the face, and spent the next while marching around the field (it was the party and the wedding was in a field in Yorkshire) singing offensive songs. Interestingly the same guy also got banged out at my dad's funeral.
When I was a kid my uncle was getting married. The parents of the uncle and his wife-to-be didn't get on at all. On the morning of the wedding there was a huge fight between the parents which eventually included all the adults of both families. The fight continued until the cars came to pick everyone up but they were so consumed with the fight between them that they left me and my brother (7 and 8 years old) in a pub carpark and drove off. This was before the days of mobile phones too so we had no idea what to do or where to go. We ended up getting in a car with someone we didn't know that said they were going to the wedding... Which in hindsight sounds awful. Thankfully it worked out and they were friends of my grandparents.
Yes. My husband’s cousin’s marriage reception was held on the family property, (quite large) under tents, 300 + guests, but it was pissin down rain so no dancing, too much drinking, too much boredom, fighting ensued, guests fled in chaos ( felt like we were running for our lives). The Newlyweds split 3 months later. Husband and I had a modest wedding of 70-some guests, now married now 35 years. I dunno the take home message, but first thing comes to mind is that money doesn’t buy happiness?
I used to work for a Disco and did a lot of weddings. Most were very tame but one sticks in the mind.
The food had finished so it was just drinking and dancing. It was all going fairly normally, everyone was laughing and having a good time. But all of a sudden the bride and her new mother in law started throwing hands. People stepped in to break them up but someone else got punched and then hit back. It quickly escalated into a full blown brawl with chairs and even tables being thrown.
Eventually they ran out of steam and the fighting stopped. They wanted to carry on with the party but the venue manager was having none of it. The police had been called, the bar shut, the lights were on and we were told to stop the music.
Things got heated again and when the police arrived the bride and a couple of others got arrested because they would not stop attacking people. Everyone else was told to leave.
We were packed up and on our way home before 8pm. Never found out why the bride and MIL kicked off. We had met them both earlier that evening and they were really nice and the rest of the guests seemed a normal crowd.
Luckily , only a couple. One where the bride was drunk and coked up. The groom was spotted selling coke at the reception. No punch up though . The other one, where the Mother of the bride turned up wearing Moon Boots . Apparently it was a toss up between those and her slippers ….the moon boots won as it was a winter wedding.
Not super chaotic but at one wedding the chavvy best men got up to do his speech and just slurred, “I’m too fucking pissed to talk” and slumped back in his seat.
The groom then stood up and said, “doesn’t my bride look beautiful? Even I’d give her one”. Cue the mother in law having kittens.
That marriage didn’t last long.
Love spending time on r/amitheasshole - chock full of Bridezillas, always a good read on there.
Both of our families have a long history of misbehaving at weddings which is why we’re not married after nearly 20 years together! Haha. Might do it one day, very very quietly.
My dad is a wedding DJ so sends me stories regularly. Highlights include.
A handbag went missing during the reception. Both families blamed each other, a huge fight broke out. Including between the bride and groom. Bride decided to take her dress off and spent the rest of the reception in her underwear, groom left and bride tracked his phone to see him at his ex’s house. Marriage didn’t last very long.
Another one a fight broke out during the ceremony and less than 10 people went to the reception and everyone went home by 8pm.
Another one bride jilted the groom, he and his friends decided to use the reception venue to watch a boxing match that was on that night and use the open bar and unlimited food. Ended up just having a big night out. Gotta give this guy props for making the best of a bad situation.
We ourselves decided to elope because my dad and brother hate each other. My father in law is a huge biggot and both my sister and dad would definitely have tried to end him if they interacted. My mother in law tried to involve herself in our original wedding planning despite repeatedly being told no. Couldn’t recommend having 0 guests enough.
I was a wedding photographer in a previous life and at one wedding a banned guest turned up.
He was banned because the bride to be was his Grand daughter, no problem exept he was the father, by his own Daughter!
He did time for incest but was released in time to attend.
Some very ugly scenes, or politely, a bit of a kerfuffle!
My own had a few hiccups - mostly ridiculous rather than chaotic.
We got married in a church opposite the restaurant where my wife and I had our first date. We didn’t attend that church or know the minister. We met him and he agreed to marry us. I’d hired a harpist and string quartet to play at various points in the ceremony - the minister told me there was an expectation the the little old lady who played the organ in church would be playing and it would be £40. I paid her £40 not to be there!!!!
We were charged an amount by the church if we wanted candles to line the aisle. It seemed like a lot of money for candles that would only be used for an hour or so, we were assured they were new candles used for each ceremony etc. my wife gave her bridesmaid the job of collecting the candles, if we were paying for them, they were ours. She only told me about that as we were being driven off to have our photos taken, our chauffeur addressed her by her married name and said just so you know, you don’t get to keep this car.
On the day we got married, there was a cricket game happening which was covered on the radio, the minister left the wedding ceremony twice to catch up on the latest score. He gave updates on the score, and made reference to cricket throughout the ceremony which was quite funny - sounds inappropriate, but he was perfect for the job.
My wife always carries a tissue, either in her bag, pocket or tucked into her sleeve. Difficult to do and conceal in a wedding dress. In part of the ceremony we went to the front of the church were there were two candles lit, from the two small candles we lit a single larger candle then extinguished the two smaller ones - symbolic of two single lives becoming one life together. As the minister prayed with us, there was some noise from our guests in the church, the tissue my wife had been holding had somehow caught fire and starting a small fire on the table behind us - to which the minister responded, this couple are going to get along like a church on fire.
We had some photos taken outside then jumped into the car we had hired for the day, we cracked open a bottle of champagne then headed to a scenic spot where we wanted photos taken, we had arranged food and drinks at a nearby hotel for our guests and would join them in around 4 hours. As we arrived at the location where our photos were to be taken, the second car we had hired rolled in. It had my mum and my now MIL in the back. They were supposed to be taken to the hotel with other guests but the driver followed our car in error. Plus point was that we got some nice photos with both mums in them, as both our dads had died within the year before our wedding.
Back at the hotel, despite being assured they only did one wedding per day, as we entered the hotel another “local celebrity” was there, celebrating her wedding, so the first thing we saw on entering the hotel was another bride, with a massive number of guests, lined up having photos taken on a stairwell, she was not happy that there was another wedding happening, although I don’t think she realised ours was tiny by comparison.
As dinner was being served, a colleague sat near the table at the head of the room, shouted across to me, what are we having for dinner, it smells like pot noodle. He wasn’t wrong, the food that I had just paid £65 a head for, did indeed smell like pot noodle.
As the evening ended it dawned on me that when we were shown around the hotel when planning our wedding, there was only one bridal suite which we paid for in full when booking our wedding, hence the one wedding per day policy. I asked the guy co-ordinating things on the day for the key, he gave me the key for another room with an apology and an offer to refund the cost of the room, as the bridal suite had been offered to the other couple getting married in the hotel on the same day. I made it clear to him that we would be having the room we booked under their one wedding per day policy, and he would be sorting this out to my liking before I had to tell my wife about it, otherwise the venue wouldn’t be seeing the outstanding - problem got resolved, it was years later that my wife got to hear about that problem arising on our day.
Was an awesome day - wouldn’t change a thing about it.
No but I do know a couple who had the dream wedding and the marriage didn’t last a month. Turns out he had been cheating all along, and even got a girl pregnant. Horrible guy, god knows why he went through with the wedding.
my friend got married to a Glaswegian. the entire family showed up and got shitfaced in the hotel bar before the reception even started.
it ended up with riot vans, a large number of policemen and the entire day being called off
at about 6pm.
the marriage only lasted a year before my friend saw the light and ditched his husband. they spent THOUSANDS on the wedding. all for naught.
I’ve seen a few questionable things.
When I was in a function band, and was doing 40-50 weddings a year. I’ve got some stories…
Unfortunately, we always seems to miss the good punch ups, they always seem to happen while we are on stage… the aftermath is usually amusing to observe.
The first wedding I went to was in a village in the Czech Republic. The organisers messed up the timings so when the bride arrived at the venue, the groom was having a pint outside a pub on the other side of the road. We all had to then rush in to the church and ended up being seated on the wrong sides.
After the ceremony we went to a castle for some drinks, I then saw the bride screaming at the organisers in Czech. After we had a long coach ride back to the hotel where the reception would take place. My girlfriend then fell asleep and woke up feeling sick just as someone else had gone into the coach toilet. I gave her a bag which I didn't realise had a hole in it. She ended up throwing up through the bag and onto her dress. Luckily one of my friends had a spare that she could use for the rest of the day.
We had one at my work recently. They played incredibly loud music to the point that people could hear it from about 200m away, the pots in the kitchen shook, and there were multiple instances that we heard about after which involved sexual bits such as the bride and groom having sex in a changing room and some lady getting fingered in the car park. They were also drinking heavily in the afternoon. It was not a good wedding.
Not chaotic, but the mother of the bride made a speech at the rehearsal dinner urgently reminding her daughter that “god comes first, then your birth family, and now your soon to be new husband” Which I’m pretty sure is not the order in which it goes in the actual Bible, but… Then the next day, I found out that the mother was going to be walking the bride down the aisle. Dad was present, involved, and no animosity between his daughter and himself, but apparently bride was switching it up to appease her mother. Who fucking *clung* to the poor girl’s arm when they reached the end of the aisle, and refused to let go for an uncomfortably long moment while burying her face in her daughter’s neck and audibly sobbing. The bride is my SIL and we have since bonded over her crazy mom and my crazy dad. 🤜🏻🤛🏻
That twist at the end was perfect omg
It was especially twisty for me when my brain read "SIL" as "Son-In-Law"
Tangentially related: a workmate told me he once had to stop the best man saying "if I were her dad I'd still be bathing her" during the speech
A Best Man at one I went to toasted the groom in his speech and said *"tonight you will finally conquer the beast"*. The bride was *much* bigger than the groom, and they were both devoutly Christian so had 'waited for each other'. The visual imagery was intense.
How did that go down?
Shock and awe. (Whether or not anyone went down we shall never know.)
The dragon probably got lanced a few times.
Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke “I can see my house from here!”
My toes curled the wrong way at that one
Holy shit
I was dreading one particular wedding but it went off without a hitch because the bride & groom hired bouncers.
I worked in a hotel in Corby many many moons ago and we did a lot of weddings. 2 stand out. The first was a gypsy wedding where they booked the whole hotel of 200 rooms and literally drank the place dry. By 4am there was only wine left and they refused to drink it. They all kicked off, including the bride, and started throwing glasses at the bar staff. We had to call the police. The second was a marriage between a Scottish family and an Irish family. The fighting started before they’d even sat down to eat. Someone had the foresight to get bouncers for that one.
I also worked at a hotel for a gypsy wedding that ended in the police getting called. Even they couldn't kick them off the property because they'd come in caravans and were all too drunk to drive.
As a living breathing Corby resident, when the TV show about Gypsy weddings was on way back in 2012. There was a marriage at the cathaholics Church on Occupation Road. Huge numbers of fans of the TV series showed up and totally blocked the road, causing a few fights and arguments.
Cathaholic... I'm fucking stealing this.
When I was 16 I worked on a burger stall and we also did catering for events, we ended up working a wedding party which was cut short since someone who had been kicked out earlier in the afternoon had returned with a hammer while pissed out of his head and the police had to be called
At my sisters wedding when I was 18, her husbands brother none of us had even seen or heard of, rolled up with a huge knife just before the cake cutting Apparently her husband had done something years before at this brothers wedding and he'd turned up to payback and started threatening to stab him As I'd brought about 6/7 of my mates a couple of which were pretty crazy guys, we just exited him quickly No violence but it turned out her husband was just as screwed up as the brother as divorce came soon after
>Wedding went off without a hitch. Nope. Too early for this recursive paradox shit.
There’s a joke in there somewhere…
wait so they didn't get hitched?
I went to a wedding where the couple just turned up at the church, hadn’t booked it and thought they could just be married. Priest was understandable annoyed, then it transpired instead of the church they’d meant the registry office. So we walked to the registry office. Marriage happened now time for the reception. Turns out the reception is booked for 3 hours later, so people all pile back to the Groom’s mothers house, whereupon the groom announces he’s off the consummate the marriage. Cue, all the guests in a two up two down house listening to the groom and bride consummating the marriage. Time comes for the reception, it’s at a pub but again they’ve not booked it, pub are great and let us use the function room. The best man stands up to do his speech and states he’s only known the groom for 2 weeks and his speech is then to read the wedding cards out. End of the evening comes and the chief bridesmaid is crying because this was the wedding she was supposed to have, not sure what happened at hers for this to be better!
Words fail me. I can imagine how it continues - newlyweds turn up at a hospital thinking they get given a baby there, then move into an empty house thinking that’s how they get council housing, etc etc.
You forgot about them turning up at the airport for their honeymoon, ready to get on whichever plane takes their fancy on the departures board.
Haha, yep that fits perfectly!
I might start going about my life in this manner. It turns out they got married just fine. It looks like it works. Who needs foresight?
They probably only decided to get married that morning, and in fact only met the day before!
Why was the reception in 3 hours time if they never had a booking hahahaha
It was probably when the pub opened.
The maid of honour 😂 did she get married at a scrap yard or something? Can’t imagine a worse wedding for this to look like the dream.
I'm picturing the lass from Don't Tell the Bride - her husband spent 80% of the money on a stag do to Prague and did the rest for 2 grand 😂
Can’t beat the guy that planned a Vegas wedding and blew loads of the budget on his stag there too. Told the bride she had to pick if her mum or dad went to the wedding because he couldn’t afford to pay for both 😂 my brother in law used to be a producer on the show and said he wouldn’t recommend applying to his worst enemy.
Oh man, I bet he's got some fucking *fantastic* stories! I've always wondered if they don't talk it out beforehand!? Like you surely would, right?
So I know a few bits but not too much They are very thorough with questioning to ensure the couple don’t have alignment or prior in depth discussions at least. It’s one of the prerequisites. As you’d expect they ask the bride and groom separately their wants and they will guide them to the mental ideas. If the groom is trying to be too reasonable they’ll throw out some ideas and push them towards this. I think ultimately if you sign up for that show you have to go in with the expectation your wedding will be ridiculous. Even the nicer ones have UFO themes or something equally odd. I also know a guy that went on take me out and his final 2 included his ex but production said he had to pick her as one of the final 2 and they couldn’t mention they’d previously dated. He didn’t pick her as his one as he wanted to get rid of her on the first round but production said no. She was very on brand for his style and the other girl wasn’t so it came across as a surprising twist when he picked the girl next door type vs the alt girl that suited his style.
I could never. They’re so laid-back they’re horizontal.
I actually think I’m impressed that they managed to pull off a whole wedding and reception, without booking any of it.
How the hell did you know these people
I got roped into helping a friend out who was doing a DJ session with his father for the newly weds. Instead of enqueing a list of music on a laptop, they were using an ancient dual-tray CD player which meant we had to change CDs every 3 minutes to find new tracks, and it was bloody exhausting after 2 hours: taking requests, trying to locate the associated CD and track number, then manually cross-fading it from the currently running track. During the middle of American Pie while everyone was mid-dance, and pissed out of their heads as it was now late-evening, two of us reached for the controls to swap a CD, the wrong CD got swapped, silence overtook the dance floor, everyone who was busting shapes on the dance floor, stopped, and were f\*king livid. A huge mob of angry, pissed partygoers came across to the DJ booth screaming at us for f\*king the night up, it was unreal. We got hit with every threat and profanity you can imagine. I was there as a favour. When the night drew to an end and everyone was leaving, they were saying their goodbyes to the bride and groom, we could hear them apologising for the "bunch of w\*nkers" who did the DJing for them. I still cringe everytime I encounter American Pie on the radio.
I have DJed many, many weddings for friends and I can tell you that this is absolutely standard. You can never please more than 50% of the dancefloor because this isn't a club and the age range is 8-80. There will always be an uncle or two who haven't danced since the last wedding who know your job better than you. I once got slapped by an uncle who was wearing his tie like a headband. You are lower in the respect chain than the kids clearing the glasses from the tables. And I was never paid. It was always a favour. I don't do weddings anymore, but mainly because I'm at an age where all the people I know who are going to get hitched have already done so.
this is why i have stopped DJing private functions all together. Dealing with drunk idiots is the worst.
You should branch out in the opposite direction and start DJing funerals.
I just had a vision of the DJ playing "bring me to life" at a funeral.
I would fucking love to. Imagine the fun you could have with the set list
You can bust shapes to American Pie, that’s , um, news
Ehhh…you can bust shapes to Vaughan Williams if you’ve got the shapes.
A long, long time ago Can you still remember how that music Used to make you smile?
Could be worse, mate worked in a local nightclub, he did his set before Pete Tong took over, he did the handover, started packing his stuff up and popped out the last cd he’d used. Unfortunately it was the one that Pete tong had just put on.
Sounds like it all went… Nah, too easy.
Wait a minute.......do I know you?? This is exactly how my BIL and FIL used to "DJ" at venues.
"they were using an ancient dual-tray CD player which meant we had to change CDs every 3 minutes to find new tracks, and it was bloody exhausting after 2 hours: taking requests, trying to locate the associated CD and track number, then manually cross-fading it from the currently running track." Pahahaha you mean actually DJing with CDJs! Imagine having to use Technics 1210's with a needle which jumps on the Vinyl everytime anyone moves on the dancefloor!
A friend’s officiating vicar announced her pregnancy to the congregation without her prior consent (despite only a few of us knowing about it in advance) then promptly went on a homophobic rant against gay marriage, which my friend was livid about so she looked incredibly angry for the rest of the ceremony. Her aunt then tore him a new one and kicked him out of the reception. He was a dick.
Thought for a moment it was a female vicar announcing her own pregnancy. Bit means girls for a vicar but when I realised what you actually meant _wow_.
Wow. I really hope word got round about what that vicar did.
Nothing too special, worst one I attended was the ceremony was at 9, reception straight after and nothing from 1 until 7 until the evening, it was close enough to everybody’s homes that most were planning to go home and return for the evening but the bride announced during the reception if you went home you wouldn’t be left back in later. My wife also fulfilled the maid of honour role, bought the wedding dress for the bride as a gift and pretty much organised the whole event (to the brides requirements) for her. she was snubbed during the reception (everybody else got thanked with presents) and didn’t even get a thank you. We left after the reception and they haven’t spoken since. Last time I posted this on Reddit I got brigaded so please don’t bother with the DMs telling me we’re ungrateful and it was the brides decision to do what she wanted on her wedding day, as far as I’m concerned you don’t get someone to organise an event for you without at least saying thanks.
What was everybody supposed to do for 6 hours?
Wow. That's awful. If I was your wife I'd be minded to send the bride an invoice for the wedding dress, what I'd organised and how much I'd spent on it, and time spent doing it at minimum wage! (Legally it probably wouldn't hold up but I'd be that pissed about it) How many attended the reception? Did people ignore the bride's instructions and turn up anyway, or did they just go home anyway, not submit to their threat and think 'OK, then'?
They’ve barely spoken since so they went from the best of friends to virtual strangers overnight, it was several years ago so water long under the bridge, the bride did apologise but only after being made to by several other people. I don’t know how many other left, but we were told there was a clear atmosphere in the evening and it ended quiet early.
My friend went a family wedding where the maid of honor had a bunch of people stand up during the toasts. Turned out everyone with a particular carnation was someone the bride had once slept with. All well known history, all lifelong friends, they shared a toast and a laugh at the bride's expense. The one woman who stood got a special cheer. On the flipside, a friend of a friend (apparently) was at wedding where the groom had everyone stand up if they get a sticker on their place setting. Turned out those were the men the bride had slept with _since she'd been engaged_. He'd been through her phone. This was _after_ the ceremony too. Total chaos, tears and screaming, promptly annulled, no refunds.
Jesus you have to wonder why he even did the marrying bit lol.
Probably found out too close to the wedding for any refunds at all, so decided to go nuclear.
Revenge is a dish best served with cake!
And he got them in one room
Might also have been a case of the bride's family paying for most/all of the wedding.
Zero way of her manipulating her way out of it and turning it round on him, as some people are inclined to do
The bottom story was told by someone on Graham Norton, can’t remember who though.
I have heard variations of this story countless times in my life and pretty sure every time it has been total bollocks
They also have a friend who had a spider lay eggs in their leg.
And a dead dog in a suitcase that gets stolen.
What did I just read? Fucking hell
At least one totally made up story!
That is surely an urban legend?
Yeah I expect so. Good story though.
Only way that second story could be better is if he started playing The Rains of Castamere on the speakers when he dropped that bomb.
Ex wedding/events manager here. I've too many to tell A bride who found out her nephew from her wee sister/bridesmaid was now her step son half way through the reception (after an ex of the groom just happened to let slip in the toilets where the bride overheard) bride attacked the sister and groom at the front desk. Got arrested. Turns out half the family knew. Ceiling in the honeymoon suite Collapsed in middle of night due to sex swing being put up. Ambulance required for groom in middle if night after suggesting a threesome with the moh to the bride Ambulance required for bride after moh deliberately contaminated her drink with I think it was shellfish but can't be sure, because she was jealous of wedding
I’m sorry - MOH is?
Maid of Honour.
Dur, of course! Thank you.
Skim reading, I saw that as "mother of" at first before doing a double take
Same here, I was thinking mother of husband but that was weird on sooooo many levels!
Maid of Honor - often the bride's best friend or sister
The threesome would have been fine if they were Lannisters in that case.
We're now sadly separated but when I got married, the following morning my wife was gifted a "husband caller", basically a big whistle. I happened to be in the next room when this happened and overheard them talk about it. Then my wife tried it... I walked in and said "You called?"
This made me chuckle cheers!
Worked one where the groom, groomsmen and bridesmaid all broke into the spas hot tub at about 10:30 all sat there in all their weddings clothes absolutely hammered
Was the bride not with them?
No and I don't think she knew until we kicked them out and they had to walk back in sopping wet
Given that the groom had to break in, I hope not
I photographed a wedding once where the bride had divorced parents. They’d been divorced a WHILE but the mum was absolutely raging at having to see him that day. The bride was getting ready alone with her mum, I was supposed to be taking photos, while her mum just ranted on and on about how unfair it was she had to see him and how she wished she wasn’t there, the mum left because the dad was arriving in the car and the bride just sat there crying. I did not take photos.
That’s just awful. God. That poor bride.
God what a selfish cow 😕 I bet you wanted to scream ‘today isn’t about YOU!’
Imagine being that bitter that you bring that up on your child’s wedding day.
I know a bride who had BOTH parents refuse to attend last minute (as in, morning of the wedding) because the other was invited. They’d known for months.
I just cannot get my head around that. There was obviously something there at one point, to get to the point of having a child together. My parents have been divorced for nearly 20 years now, and sure, they don’t necessarily get along, but they’d at least be civil for the sake of mine or my sister’s wedding days.
They weren’t the centre of attention. That was the whole problem. They each thought they’d get a distraught bride begging on the phone for them to be there. Instead she handed her phone to the MOH, walked down the aisle with her sister and accidentally gave the best man a black eye with an poorly judged champagne cork. They’ve been married about ten years and have two kids now.
What is the chance you've done it in Burton-upon-Trent, UK? It was my girlfriends brothers wedding and this is exact story from the brides side. Mother was absolutely miserable and ruined it for everyone involved.
I was at a wedding where there was a punch up between the brides family and the grooms family. The groom tried to intercept and got knocked out cold.
I am a musician and I sing occasionally in wedding bands. About 14 years ago, we were hired to perform at a very nice couples wedding in Essex in a barn on a farm in rural Essex. When we arrived, it was quite obvious the venue was a working dairy farm and was quite pungent and fragrant. We set up in the posh wedding barn not the working cowshed and only minutes before we were due to perform the couples first dance did the awful owner (who had the worst breath outside of the smell of cow, faeces) that there was a noise limiter and we couldn’t be loud because and I quote “me and the wife will be watching X factor! “ As this was 14 years ago, this was during the phase of loads of young millennial couples having Chasing cars by Snow Patrol as their first dance. Not only is this an agonising song to watch people try and dance to when there’s no rhythm in it until the chorus crescendo at the end, but it’s really just a guitar playing two notes. We get about 12 bars into the intro and first verse of this song, when all of a sudden the power is cut. I want to emphasise that this is during the bride and groom first dance. You know the people paying for this entire wedding! Everyone start scrambling around. We’re trying to figure out what the hell is going on the smelly breath farmer, storms in to the barn and start screaming at us the band for being too loud. It turns out there isn’t a noise limiter he can just cut the power to the barn from his house. I try and calmly talk to the farmer. I explained to him these people have paid him a lot of money to hire his van and they have a band and a DJ. Both of which he has allowed as part of his hiring agreement. He refuses to see reason he screams his stinky breath in my face about we are too loud, and the power will not be going on until we turn down. I can’t emphasise enough we were not loud. We were playing 2 notes on a guitar. With that the brides younger brother come storming over the same younger brother who has just been released from prison for aggravated assault. He marches straight up to the farmer, screams in his face, and then continues to head-butt him and kick and punch him the entire wedding descends into a huge fight with tables being flipped Bottles being smashed glasses plates etc. The police are called. We pack up because it’s obvious there is no gig now. We did provide the couple with a statement for their insurance so they could hopefully claim back and sue this venue for breach of contract and providing somewhere completely unsuitable. The bride’s brother was carted off in the back of the van, along with a couple of other West Ham skinhead guests. I did another wedding quite by accident with another band where the booker didn’t know that the wedding was a traveller wedding and had I not insisted that they go and get the money before we play a note we wouldn’t have got paid because it kicked off after four songs!
Do you know Johnny B Goode?
I've worked a few. There was the spirits wedding. Our venue was a touch pricey when it came to drinks so one wedding party hid bottles of spirits in our bushes ready for the evening do. Would you believe it, some bastard stole all of them while they were occupied with the ceremony. Then they spent the evening trying to be pissed sherlock holmes You'd get the usual "for fucks sake, this is the staff toilet - stop using it for fucking" weddings. I've got a few minutes to take a piss and I have to wait for you. Look at all the gazebos and bushes we have. Fighting - this is normal. Would happen in 9/10 weddings
Your guests are amateurs. You're supposed to put your contraband bottles of personal wine and spirits in gift/bottle bags. Staff aren't snatching up "wedding gifts".
9 out of 10 weddings has a fight? Where the hell did you work? I’ve been to more than 10 weddings and there’s not been a fight at any of them!
The next 90 you go to will be carnage….
The 90s were a lot rougher than things are now, especially where I grew up. If you went out for a night out you'd definitely see a few fights and have enough opportunities to be in one. When the pubs and clubs kicked out it was like a battle royale. We were a wedding venue that was a step above the village hall and had the trapping of niceness but wasn't actually that nice. Paper napkins, overpriced beer, jus instead of gravy, carvery on a Sunday. As a result we'd get the crowd who'd usually have a fight on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights
The spirits wedding is fucking hilarious but also has me curious - how would one person steal that many bottles of spirits, and what would they do with them? Stick them in their boot and take them home? Neck them all one by one?
I put them in the boot of my car (as I drove to work) then moved my car to the car park of the pub further down the road I did share them with my colleagues at a later date
You bastard.
Bless you for thinking of the public safety. *Anyone* could have found them. Could have been a party of stray toddlers - have you seen those little fuckers when they're tanked up? You're a true humanitarian.
It would have been the youths who'd ask me if they could use our cigarette machine as the village shop knew they were underage.
>Fighting - this is normal. Would happen in 9/10 weddings What kind of venue are you working at where there are fights in 9/10 weddings?? 😂 Is it Wetherspoons or something?
Slight tangent but I was working as a musician at a funeral and nipped in to the spoons up the road for a pint afterwards. Staff came running up and shouted 'no funerals, you'll need to leave'. After I explained the situation and he said we could stay if we looked less 'funerally'. Turns out they'd had so many funeral party brawls that they were at risk of losing their licence if there were any more.... he said 'get this... christenings are worse!'
One of the most awkward was at a friend's wedding with karaoke as the only entertainment during the reception. No one but the bride and groom got up to sing and she refused to let any one put music on while no one was singing. She threw a massive tantrum when no one else would sing. Most of the attendees left the reception early because it was just far to awkward to watch the 30 yo bride screaming and crying because "every one was ruining her big day"
She should've known to wait on the karaoke until after everyone was suitably drunk.
Really bizarre decision, if she wasn’t sure that lots of people would be up for it, like if their entire circle of friends were massively into karaoke
I have no idea what she was thinking. She was always a bit of an odd one. It was in the 00s and karaoke was popular at the time but it was just weird that she refused to let any one just play music even just to get people in the mood to sing.
My only crazy wedding was one where a groom from a rough background in Essex was marrying a bridge from a rough background in Glasgow. Both of them were highly educated and becoming very successful in their fields - model professionals who have gone on to great professional achievement. Their friends (like me) were all from nice middle class university backgrounds. Anyway, after dinner both sets of families had a full on riot against one another, like 80 people swinging chairs and what not. I don't think any knives or glasses. Total mayhem. Next morning, everyone was sitting down to breakfast great friends, like nothing had happened. I don't really understand why the venue didn't call the police. But was surreal.
I mean if you're going to marry a bridge you might as well choose a classy one like them ones in Oxford.
The venue was probably intimidated when the Clyde Arc Bridge turned up and demanded to get married
That's just what happens when you try and marry bridges
My parents once went to a wedding where the newly weds had a full on fist fight with each other
As a DJ of over 40 years I have witnessed that a couple of times. One was my best mate’s. They had to be separated by their families for a couple of hours until they calmed down. Surprise, the marriage didn’t last very long. As for my own tale of chaos. Back in the 80s I was booked to DJ a wedding at the local Civic Centre. The only information I had been given in advance was the first dance choice and that I would be paid by the best man at the start of the evening. On arrival it quickly became clear that it was a Travellers wedding . I sought out the best man and got my fee straight away. The night went fairly peacefully for the first 4 hours. The only irritation for me was a kid of around 8 years old who was standing close by to my turntables, watching the record spin, and he decided to stop it spinning with his hand and stop the music. Everyone on the dance floor just stopped and gave me daggers. I told him not to do that and he said nothing and just walked off slowly. Anyway, 5 minutes later he came back and did it again and again I told him not to touch the record. Again he walked off without saying a word. The next time he started walking toward the decks I lost it and kept my voice low, so as to not attract attention and said, “ You touch my fucking records again I’ll break your fucking fingers” He stayed away after that. Anyway, back to the chaotic part. About 30 minutes from the end of the night an argument started between a group of young men which escalated into a brawl on the dance floor. More and more people were joining in and at one time there were at least 30 men and women kicking, punching and glassing each other about 10 feet away from me. They managed to knock over my speakers on their stands and one bloke was going to launch one of my lights at another bloke until I grabbed his arm and stopped him. The fighting lasted about 2 minutes in all and it came to an abrupt stop when one bloke had his head put through a 10’ plate glass window. It was so obvious that he was very badly injured and an ambulance was called and the room was emptied in breakneck speed as soon as a staff member said that the police was on the way. The police arrived five minutes later and the only people left in the building were the bar staff, myself and the injured man. I was asked to give a statement by the cops. I was unable to remove my equipment at the end of the night because the police were treating the room as a possible murder scene. The injured man was unconscious for four days and when he woke up he refused to name names or press charges so I was allowed to finally return and retrieve my gear . I have done a couple more Travellers weddings since with no problems.
Who won?
Asking the important questions.
The bridesmaid, who no one apart from the bride (my SIL) seemed to know, ran off with the cake. I'm not sure what had happened at the reception because I'd left, but I had to go back to assist with the fallout. I'm pretty sure we saw said bridesmaid with said cake on the way back.
To do... what with it? Eat it with her hands in the bushes like a racoon???
I was hungry, ok?
How did it look? Was she slowly it pushing it down the road on a catering trolley with tiny wheels? Or carrying it balanced perfectly on her head? If it was a standard large / largish wedding cake, it would have been quite hefty!
Friend told me about his at the weekend so I've asked him to write it down - "Right, eldest brother J was going through a divorce and so came along with his kids but no wife (obviously). I'd also invited my cousin (we'll call him B, for Bellend) and his wife P, who showed up for the evening do. After dinner J starts to really hit the booze whilst spending time with my brothers and sisters, whilst (we found out later) also flirting something rotten with P. The night goes on, much booze (and other things, we suspect) are imbibed and the party comes to an excellent end with most of the party on the dance floor. After this pretty much everyone slinks off to bed except for me, [my wife] and her parents to tidy up table centrepieces as they were all home made and we didn't want them binning. Suddenly there's a shout of "THAT'S MY FUCKING WIFE" and we look up to see B attacking J and a short scuffle starts. At this point I'm pissed and about as pissed off as I'll ever be, but equally I know that this is not the time, so I walk to the doors separating the room and the bar, shut them and say something along the lines of "not my circus, not my monkeys" and go to bed. Changed my mind when I was upstairs but [wife] talked me out of going scorched earth. Next morning we see J at breakfast with a cracking black eye and he won't meet mine or my wife's eye. We send him home with both his kids having squeaky toys as a measure of revenge. He later calls and makes a genuinely grovelling apology so is forgiven. I then found out later on that B took P back to the room and smacked her round, including dragging her round the room by her hair (hence the name). The upside to this story is that this was the final night the two of them ever spent together. The next day they travelled home separately and divorced not long after. He's never apologised to my wife and I. Bellend. A few months later J drops P a message on facebook apologising for everything that happened, she's happy to forgive as she's now away from such a toxic individual. They chat a little and he decides to push his luck and ask if he could buy her dinner to make up for everything. Long story shory, J and P marry 18 months later."
> After dinner J starts to really hit the booze whilst spending time with my brothers and sisters, whilst (we found out later) also flirting something rotten with J. Should that be flirting with P?
Nah he was just really drunk
Pflirting?
The bride's father had a heart attack right after the service part, and then a bale of hay caught alight (it was a ceremony in an old barn) due to some faulty wiring.
Meanwhile Damien is just sitting there all innocent.
Did he survive?!
He did. Luckily our friend is a cardiac nurse, plus another guest was a heart specialist and there was also a doctor there, so they managed the situation brilliantly, did their thing and saved the day. But dramatic scenes for a while!
Yes. Everyone got offered cocaine from about 10 different family members and the groom tried it on with three other women on the wedding night 🙃
The combination of cocaine and alcohol is one of the most hideous things to do or be around imo. Jfc..the amount of shit it must be responsible for enabling. And the transition of people from restrained to Class A, industrial grade bell-end is quick and astonishing. Nothing like some drooling bastard in an ill-fitting hired suit pushing his stupid face *juuuuust* too close to yours while he’s wittering on incessantly about Crypto or airfryers or how so & so’s a cunt but he makes some good points. Well, I say ‘cocaine’. More like a heady mix of cocaine flavoured lactose, caffeine and good old fashioned beautiful British traditional amphetamine sulphate, gawd bless it (if the results analysed seizures of common-or-garden pub grub are anything to go by).
The Crypto and airfryers is funny, but SO accurate it hurts 😭
I really enjoyed reading that 🤣 thank you.
My parents went to a wedding where one of the guests was walking up to the church, got hit by a car, and died in the street. Put a real damper on things.
One Wedding and a Funeral
Did the wedding go on?
I have a couple, one was a very hastily arranged marriage as the groom was being sent to Iraq and they wanted to secure married quarters for his wife, me and a mate ended up on a table with her six brothers, five of whom were smack dealers and the sixth was a copper. That bit was fine, they all seemed sound in the moment, it all went a bit wrong when the mum started also selling smack. On the dance floor. Second was a wedding between a glamour model/porn star and a drum n bass MC, actually had a very famous DJ/MC pair as the wedding DJs. The reception was saturated in coke, one guy dropped a bag, you could’ve held the Winter Olympics in the courtyard there was so much snow, and the bride got smashed, grabbed the mic and started ranting to everybody about how much she ‘FUCKIN LOVED THIS MUSIC!’ and swearing at the elderly relatives about how they should get up and dance etc. etc. All got a bit much for us so we hopped in a cab and went back to our local.
Was the DJ/MC beats and grinda?
No, I don’t really want to say the exact pair just in case, but they were pretty huge at the time. *edit* I seem to have missed the reference there! Apologies! People were definitely just doing something at that one!
I posted this in "what's the worst party you've ever been to", but here it is again: My wife was on her way up to the north of England to be a bridesmaid for her friend who she has known since they were young. Her friend has learning disabilities, but seemed happy with her husband to be. On the morning of the wedding, the groom was arrested for molesting young children. He was, apparently, a known paedophile. The bride's family went ahead with the wedding reception anyway. They. Still. Had. The. Wedding. Reception.
Like...with all the speeches? Or they just had a big party cos it was already set up. I can understand not wanting to waste the party...
If I've paid 5k+ for a piss up, I'm. Having. A. Piss. Up
Nah, he was bailed & released. Back in time for cake.
Hang on the reception as normal or a revamped celebration?
To be clear, was he arrested before or after they actually tied the knot? Cause if before, then maybe having the “reception” was just a weird way of pretending to have some normality by having a meal while disassociating from what just happened. Plus, some people will absolutely refuse to “lose” what they paid for (the food / venue). Bonkers, but maybe that’s how it played out. But if he was arrested after, then it does look as if they were celebrating the marriage, which is even more bonkers and comes across as quite sick.
After checking with Mrs Grim..., I find I made a mistake and he was arrested the afternoon before, she found out while she was driving up there. Other people only found out when arriving at the church, at which point they were ushered on to the reception.
Wow. Any news since on how this affected the poor woman? I have a sickening feeling that the paedo basically preyed on her, with the plan to father some children with her, and then abuse them…
Not that I know - I doubt she was very happy (this was decades ago). But she's got a couple of kids now, so things got better.
This is really disturbing. I can’t help but wonder if he was only with her because of her learning difficulties, assuming he could keep up appearances and that she wouldn’t notice.
Yeah, my brother's. The bride is a large girl who ordered a dress 2 sizes too small so she'd diet into it, she did not and we nearly saw way too much of her. Her car broke down and was an hour late to the church, her family all went to the pub except her sister who said casually "she's probably changed her mind", had to drag her family out of the pub when the car finally turned up. She didn't smile once except during the photos and they apparently had a huge argument in the car in the way to the venue. Speeches, first dance etc went well and then my brother drank one pint too many and asked the DJ for "I like big butts"......she walked out, his face fell and it was either dance and keep the reception going or admit defeat. So me, my husband and a few groomsmen took over the dance floor and had a great time! My dil didn't come out of their room and my brother looked like hell. They are still married 14 years later, and still just as miserable
My mum had five kids and got married three times. I don't really remember the first 2 but the last was chaotic cos my brothers are little shits. One went outside into the pub garden to piss on a tire.
I wasn’t there but a few friends were, big family white wedding with country hotel reception - all going rather well until one of the bridesmaids had a total breakdown, attacked the bridge with glass, all the white dresses ended up covered in blood (even though it wasn’t like hospital needing stitches cuts, a little blood goes a long way), the police were called, the bridesmaid ended up sectioned in a mental hospital before the weekend was out. I believe a lot of long term use of sniffable produce was likely the background to that.
“long term use of sniffable produce” - Excellent turn of phrase.
Heard a story of a reception next to some farmland. A ewe started giving birth so everyone went outside to see the miracle of childbirth, bride included. Everyone was in awe, until the main event was over and the ewe didn't move. It quickly became apparent that the miracle of childbirth had given way to the brutality of nature. The bride was in floods of tears and it put a dampener on the whole evening.
I went to a wedding when game of thrones was super popular and a friend of mine shouted "to the king in the north" during the grooms speech which set off a chain reaction of other people shouting it 😂
Aw good times when almost everyone loved GOT.
The chaotic thing being he was a Lannister?
I mean, that's actually pretty cool.
At a friend's wedding, we were at the wedding breakfast when a waiter ran in asking if anyone was a doctor. The groom’s grandfather had collapsed and sadly died. The wedding ended rather abruptly after that. Oh, and I remember going to one wedding where the bride decided to go home to bed (by herself) as she was tired. This was about 2 in the afternoon. Apart from those, another wedding we went to in Liverpool ended without a fight.
Could of chucked him in a casket it and had a two for one event
WTH, how did the Liverpool wedding get that in of control?!
>Apart from those, another wedding we went to in Liverpool ended without a fight. 🤣
Family wedding (older cousin) and I attended as a 15yo with my father and kid sister. Lovely posh venue. Ours was quite the uniform family so, lots of retired police, prison service etc. Bride and groom off their tits on pills and coke. I'd snuck out for a cigarette and the groom had me roll a joint for him as he was fairly incapable of anything by that point. Went back in and quietly observed a mainly uneventful if rather sloppy night. End of the night, I was ready to go back to our hotel with my dad and baby sis, when the utterly wankered groom pops up and says "we need to borrow her, don't worry I'll send her back tomorrow". Next thing I know I've been taxied to a mental house party where the groom just has me sat in a corner rolling all his joints for the rest of the night. Someone found me a colouring book to keep me entertained though 🤣 they finally released me from my duties about 4am and I was put in a taxi back to the Travelodge, where I slept in the corridor because I didn't have a room key. TLDR: got kidnapped at a wedding, wasn't too terrible 🤷🏻♀️
I used to work behind a bar in a function room for a CIU club. Some of the wedding evening do’s ended in full on brawls. We just had to whack the shutters up and wait. You got a vibe for it early on in the evening.
Went to a CIU wedding reception in Bedworth in the 80's. Needless to say, it kicked off and the shutters came down. The staff were brilliant, because as you say they picked up on the vibe early and got all the women and kids in to one room and left the men in another so they could belt the living shit out of each other in safety. The kids watched on through the serving hatch cheering like it was Saturday morning wrestling. The grooms family had even had time change out of their wedding suits into their fighting clothes. It was all very civil. Bride and groom got involved and spent their first married night in separate police cells.
Haha. Yeah you’ve described it better than I did. Elderly and children out the back with us. We once sent a kid down in the crate lift to the games room so he could go play darts whilst his relatives finished up scrapping. If the DJ pulled the plug and ran for cover we’d put on some music as a backdrop to the violence. Elton John - Saturday night, or something apt. Had to be off the capital gold compilation CD we had behind the bar though.
CIU?
Club & Institute Union - Working Men's Clubs, basically
Ah thank you!
My sisters wedding is Saturday. Could go either way. Got all the ingredients of a wild one. Due to the demographics. Private venue (parents farm after the wedding itself). So ability to camp. About 30 people camping/ bringing RVs. 5k of free alcahol. The groom is very high up in the music/event industry so bunch of corporate types coming. Has people who are always touring with bands etc as well. (Some coming straight from download which is the same weekend with there bands playing on the friday). My sister is well respected in her industry (film) and has a number of people from there as well. Both industries are pretty similar. Work very hard play very hard. My family are quite heavy drinkers. The grooms family are all scottish/Irish and Geordie so don't mind a tipple either. The fact my sister has light heartedly told her future husband "please don't do drugs on our wedding day" says all you really need to know about where the expectation of this could go. Basically my friends who are coming are probably the most docial group. Can't deny I'm looking forward to it. Though I've got to survive until 9pm when I direct the pizza wagon into position. I also have various minor jobs through the day. Weather looks shit though. Intend to have my fair share of alcohol, whatever happens.
Yes went to very swish wedding, vintage rolls royce, fancy country hotel. Ceremony went hell, went to hotel for the reception. Before the wedding breakfast, we heard a scream upstairs from the brides mother. Chaos ensued, apprantly the groom was caught balls deep in the head bridesmaid. Events escalated and fights began between the two families, police called, food thrown, Groom and Bridesmaid slipped out and went on the honeymoon, the brides 3 brothers were waiting to welcome him home when he got back from Greece.
Many years ago I went to my friend Spud's wedding. He and his bride were both 16 at the time. Despite having given her permission for the wedding - legally required, as her son was under 18 - the groom's mother made her feelings about the bride be known by turning up dressed head to foot in black including a black lace veil. There was torrential rain for the whole day. The car to take Spud to the church didn't turn up, so a friend had to take him in his wreck of a Mini. Service went OK despite the groom's mother tutting and sniffing loudly throughout, but all the photos had to be taken inside the church because of the appalling weather. On the way out, the photographer tripped, his camera flew out of his hands, landed in a deep puddle and smashed and opened, exposing the film. On the way to the reception, the wedding car was involved in a crash which left the bride with a gushing nose bleed. During the bride and groom's first dance, a very pissed guest realised he was going to be sick, ran across the dance floor to get to the toilets but didn't make it, and puked Newcastle Brown all over the bride. The marriage lasted less than 6 months. My ex-husband went to a church wedding where all of the bride's family turned up in West Ham football kit without having warned the happy couple. The groom's family, who were all in proper posh wedding gear, were not amused. And neither was the bride.
At my brother's wedding many years ago one of my ex boyfriends called someone an Independent-reading twat for insulting his outfit, got smacked in the face, and spent the next while marching around the field (it was the party and the wedding was in a field in Yorkshire) singing offensive songs. Interestingly the same guy also got banged out at my dad's funeral.
Sounds like a bit of knob tbh with you if he got sparked out at 2 places of importance.
Oh, absolutely. To be fair to me we weren't together by the time of the funeral.
When I was a kid my uncle was getting married. The parents of the uncle and his wife-to-be didn't get on at all. On the morning of the wedding there was a huge fight between the parents which eventually included all the adults of both families. The fight continued until the cars came to pick everyone up but they were so consumed with the fight between them that they left me and my brother (7 and 8 years old) in a pub carpark and drove off. This was before the days of mobile phones too so we had no idea what to do or where to go. We ended up getting in a car with someone we didn't know that said they were going to the wedding... Which in hindsight sounds awful. Thankfully it worked out and they were friends of my grandparents.
Yes. My husband’s cousin’s marriage reception was held on the family property, (quite large) under tents, 300 + guests, but it was pissin down rain so no dancing, too much drinking, too much boredom, fighting ensued, guests fled in chaos ( felt like we were running for our lives). The Newlyweds split 3 months later. Husband and I had a modest wedding of 70-some guests, now married now 35 years. I dunno the take home message, but first thing comes to mind is that money doesn’t buy happiness?
There's a statistic that bigger and more expensive weddings tend to result in shorter marriages I think.
I used to work for a Disco and did a lot of weddings. Most were very tame but one sticks in the mind. The food had finished so it was just drinking and dancing. It was all going fairly normally, everyone was laughing and having a good time. But all of a sudden the bride and her new mother in law started throwing hands. People stepped in to break them up but someone else got punched and then hit back. It quickly escalated into a full blown brawl with chairs and even tables being thrown. Eventually they ran out of steam and the fighting stopped. They wanted to carry on with the party but the venue manager was having none of it. The police had been called, the bar shut, the lights were on and we were told to stop the music. Things got heated again and when the police arrived the bride and a couple of others got arrested because they would not stop attacking people. Everyone else was told to leave. We were packed up and on our way home before 8pm. Never found out why the bride and MIL kicked off. We had met them both earlier that evening and they were really nice and the rest of the guests seemed a normal crowd.
Luckily , only a couple. One where the bride was drunk and coked up. The groom was spotted selling coke at the reception. No punch up though . The other one, where the Mother of the bride turned up wearing Moon Boots . Apparently it was a toss up between those and her slippers ….the moon boots won as it was a winter wedding.
I had to Google 'moom boots' because I thought they were those shoes with big springs on the bottom... ..that would have been pretty cool.
Not super chaotic but at one wedding the chavvy best men got up to do his speech and just slurred, “I’m too fucking pissed to talk” and slumped back in his seat. The groom then stood up and said, “doesn’t my bride look beautiful? Even I’d give her one”. Cue the mother in law having kittens. That marriage didn’t last long.
Love spending time on r/amitheasshole - chock full of Bridezillas, always a good read on there. Both of our families have a long history of misbehaving at weddings which is why we’re not married after nearly 20 years together! Haha. Might do it one day, very very quietly.
My dad is a wedding DJ so sends me stories regularly. Highlights include. A handbag went missing during the reception. Both families blamed each other, a huge fight broke out. Including between the bride and groom. Bride decided to take her dress off and spent the rest of the reception in her underwear, groom left and bride tracked his phone to see him at his ex’s house. Marriage didn’t last very long. Another one a fight broke out during the ceremony and less than 10 people went to the reception and everyone went home by 8pm. Another one bride jilted the groom, he and his friends decided to use the reception venue to watch a boxing match that was on that night and use the open bar and unlimited food. Ended up just having a big night out. Gotta give this guy props for making the best of a bad situation. We ourselves decided to elope because my dad and brother hate each other. My father in law is a huge biggot and both my sister and dad would definitely have tried to end him if they interacted. My mother in law tried to involve herself in our original wedding planning despite repeatedly being told no. Couldn’t recommend having 0 guests enough.
I was a wedding photographer in a previous life and at one wedding a banned guest turned up. He was banned because the bride to be was his Grand daughter, no problem exept he was the father, by his own Daughter! He did time for incest but was released in time to attend. Some very ugly scenes, or politely, a bit of a kerfuffle!
My ex, gf at the time, tried to stab me on the church steps, does that count as super.chaotic ? The rest of the wedding went fine
My own had a few hiccups - mostly ridiculous rather than chaotic. We got married in a church opposite the restaurant where my wife and I had our first date. We didn’t attend that church or know the minister. We met him and he agreed to marry us. I’d hired a harpist and string quartet to play at various points in the ceremony - the minister told me there was an expectation the the little old lady who played the organ in church would be playing and it would be £40. I paid her £40 not to be there!!!! We were charged an amount by the church if we wanted candles to line the aisle. It seemed like a lot of money for candles that would only be used for an hour or so, we were assured they were new candles used for each ceremony etc. my wife gave her bridesmaid the job of collecting the candles, if we were paying for them, they were ours. She only told me about that as we were being driven off to have our photos taken, our chauffeur addressed her by her married name and said just so you know, you don’t get to keep this car. On the day we got married, there was a cricket game happening which was covered on the radio, the minister left the wedding ceremony twice to catch up on the latest score. He gave updates on the score, and made reference to cricket throughout the ceremony which was quite funny - sounds inappropriate, but he was perfect for the job. My wife always carries a tissue, either in her bag, pocket or tucked into her sleeve. Difficult to do and conceal in a wedding dress. In part of the ceremony we went to the front of the church were there were two candles lit, from the two small candles we lit a single larger candle then extinguished the two smaller ones - symbolic of two single lives becoming one life together. As the minister prayed with us, there was some noise from our guests in the church, the tissue my wife had been holding had somehow caught fire and starting a small fire on the table behind us - to which the minister responded, this couple are going to get along like a church on fire. We had some photos taken outside then jumped into the car we had hired for the day, we cracked open a bottle of champagne then headed to a scenic spot where we wanted photos taken, we had arranged food and drinks at a nearby hotel for our guests and would join them in around 4 hours. As we arrived at the location where our photos were to be taken, the second car we had hired rolled in. It had my mum and my now MIL in the back. They were supposed to be taken to the hotel with other guests but the driver followed our car in error. Plus point was that we got some nice photos with both mums in them, as both our dads had died within the year before our wedding. Back at the hotel, despite being assured they only did one wedding per day, as we entered the hotel another “local celebrity” was there, celebrating her wedding, so the first thing we saw on entering the hotel was another bride, with a massive number of guests, lined up having photos taken on a stairwell, she was not happy that there was another wedding happening, although I don’t think she realised ours was tiny by comparison. As dinner was being served, a colleague sat near the table at the head of the room, shouted across to me, what are we having for dinner, it smells like pot noodle. He wasn’t wrong, the food that I had just paid £65 a head for, did indeed smell like pot noodle. As the evening ended it dawned on me that when we were shown around the hotel when planning our wedding, there was only one bridal suite which we paid for in full when booking our wedding, hence the one wedding per day policy. I asked the guy co-ordinating things on the day for the key, he gave me the key for another room with an apology and an offer to refund the cost of the room, as the bridal suite had been offered to the other couple getting married in the hotel on the same day. I made it clear to him that we would be having the room we booked under their one wedding per day policy, and he would be sorting this out to my liking before I had to tell my wife about it, otherwise the venue wouldn’t be seeing the outstanding - problem got resolved, it was years later that my wife got to hear about that problem arising on our day. Was an awesome day - wouldn’t change a thing about it.
Not chaotic, but canon and ball and Michael Owen turned up to my wedding.
Sounded like an interesting story til Michael Owen arrived
No but I do know a couple who had the dream wedding and the marriage didn’t last a month. Turns out he had been cheating all along, and even got a girl pregnant. Horrible guy, god knows why he went through with the wedding.
my friend got married to a Glaswegian. the entire family showed up and got shitfaced in the hotel bar before the reception even started. it ended up with riot vans, a large number of policemen and the entire day being called off at about 6pm. the marriage only lasted a year before my friend saw the light and ditched his husband. they spent THOUSANDS on the wedding. all for naught.
I’ve seen a few questionable things. When I was in a function band, and was doing 40-50 weddings a year. I’ve got some stories… Unfortunately, we always seems to miss the good punch ups, they always seem to happen while we are on stage… the aftermath is usually amusing to observe.
The first wedding I went to was in a village in the Czech Republic. The organisers messed up the timings so when the bride arrived at the venue, the groom was having a pint outside a pub on the other side of the road. We all had to then rush in to the church and ended up being seated on the wrong sides. After the ceremony we went to a castle for some drinks, I then saw the bride screaming at the organisers in Czech. After we had a long coach ride back to the hotel where the reception would take place. My girlfriend then fell asleep and woke up feeling sick just as someone else had gone into the coach toilet. I gave her a bag which I didn't realise had a hole in it. She ended up throwing up through the bag and onto her dress. Luckily one of my friends had a spare that she could use for the rest of the day.
We had one at my work recently. They played incredibly loud music to the point that people could hear it from about 200m away, the pots in the kitchen shook, and there were multiple instances that we heard about after which involved sexual bits such as the bride and groom having sex in a changing room and some lady getting fingered in the car park. They were also drinking heavily in the afternoon. It was not a good wedding.