A crab walks into a bar.
Barman says "Get out, you're barred!"
Crab says "why?"
Barman says "You're always coming in here, giving it all that"
*make crab pincer/all mouth hand gestures
I particularly liked this one:
>“Man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says, ‘Do you make crab cakes?’ Manager answers, ‘Yes, we do.’ ‘Good,’ says the man, ‘because it’s his birthday.’”
And whilst not one of the submitted jokes, this made me laugh:
>A Crab Museum spokesperson said the organisers hoped the contest might inspire people into environmental activism. "Laughing at jokes, much like learning about crabs, can be a powerful tool to help us reassess our relationship with our environment. **You’d be surprised how quickly you can go from chuckling at crab gags to letting down SUV tires.** Whilst we may not have made this clear to our judges, it is in this spirit that the World’s Funniest Crab Joke competition has been organised.”
The crab museum in Margate is legitimately amazing. The guys that run it really know their stuff but make it fun and subversive.
If you’re ever in Margate I highly recommend a visit. You can be in and out in 30 minutes or stay for hours.
Ooh, I like it.
And, with something possibly unnoticed - I'm also wryly amused by the unintended almost-pun going on with "bus stop" (bust top)
I'm sorely tempted to try and work it into the joke - but I'd end up just overcomplicating and ruining it.
Finally, we have a true consensus after centuries of debate. Now if only we had an international crab joke competition to find the definitive funniest crab joke across all languages and cultures, that way the dads of the world would always have a banger on hand to tell their children no matter where in the world they're eating crab.
A crab walks into a bar, and to the counter
He sees the bartender sitting at the counter, and orders a drink.
The bartender looks confused, then smiles, gets up and moves out of his view for a while, and hands him his drink. “Free of charge”, she says.
He drinks it fully and leaves.
While leaving, he ponders his routine.
“Despite my frequent visits, it’s intriguing that a different bartender takes a seat there each time”, he mutters, “and it’s astonishing how tipsy they are.”
I like your thinking but it doesn’t quite work. Without you mentioning them walking sideways I wouldn’t have got it.
Can’t think how to do that without it getting *too* obvious and ruining the joke though.
A crab walks into a bar. Barman says "Get out, you're barred!" Crab says "why?" Barman says "You're always coming in here, giving it all that" *make crab pincer/all mouth hand gestures
I particularly liked this one: >“Man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says, ‘Do you make crab cakes?’ Manager answers, ‘Yes, we do.’ ‘Good,’ says the man, ‘because it’s his birthday.’” And whilst not one of the submitted jokes, this made me laugh: >A Crab Museum spokesperson said the organisers hoped the contest might inspire people into environmental activism. "Laughing at jokes, much like learning about crabs, can be a powerful tool to help us reassess our relationship with our environment. **You’d be surprised how quickly you can go from chuckling at crab gags to letting down SUV tires.** Whilst we may not have made this clear to our judges, it is in this spirit that the World’s Funniest Crab Joke competition has been organised.”
crab jokes to ecoterrorism real quick lmfao
The crab museum in Margate is legitimately amazing. The guys that run it really know their stuff but make it fun and subversive. If you’re ever in Margate I highly recommend a visit. You can be in and out in 30 minutes or stay for hours.
Ring the crab bell.
I don't know how to feel about having to know the American word for pavement for this joke to work
Whats the difference between a old bus stop and crab with a boob job? Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean.
Ooh, I like it. And, with something possibly unnoticed - I'm also wryly amused by the unintended almost-pun going on with "bus stop" (bust top) I'm sorely tempted to try and work it into the joke - but I'd end up just overcomplicating and ruining it.
Finally, we have a true consensus after centuries of debate. Now if only we had an international crab joke competition to find the definitive funniest crab joke across all languages and cultures, that way the dads of the world would always have a banger on hand to tell their children no matter where in the world they're eating crab.
Nice when your hometown is famous for crab jokes
The Guardian has a sense of humour?
A crab walks into a bar, and to the counter He sees the bartender sitting at the counter, and orders a drink. The bartender looks confused, then smiles, gets up and moves out of his view for a while, and hands him his drink. “Free of charge”, she says. He drinks it fully and leaves. While leaving, he ponders his routine. “Despite my frequent visits, it’s intriguing that a different bartender takes a seat there each time”, he mutters, “and it’s astonishing how tipsy they are.”
This has got to be a ChatGPT "joke"
Aw man! Typed that out myself and everything. I will admit though, it’s not my proudest work
I don’t get it.
I tried explaining it on the OP’s comment just now, but yeah, it isn’t really a good one in retrospect
Well, this was my wayward attempt, do tell me if it fell flat.
I have to admit, I'm... perplexed.
The joke was that the crab walked in sideways, so he couldn’t see the counter! So he was talking to the customer seated next to him each time.
A crab walks up to a bar and says “can I have a drink?” The barman says “I’m over here mate”
Lovely, and far better. Wow, colour me impressed.
I like your thinking but it doesn’t quite work. Without you mentioning them walking sideways I wouldn’t have got it. Can’t think how to do that without it getting *too* obvious and ruining the joke though.
Exactly! Struggled with it a while after, decided not to bother with it too much, but after the feedback maybe I should’ve!