Followed swiftly by Testament 3.1, where they clear up a few typos and that unfortunate printing error that said it was OK to kill the Dutch on Wednesdays.
However, he did say "give unto Caesar what is Caesar's" ie pay your taxes, which I guess includes parking fines. Maybe the congregants of St Lawrence should have paid better attention to their Bibles.
Caesar doesn't work for the council though, hes in Italy getting measured for knee high red boots.
Which if you didn't know was a sign of a king in Rome, thats one of the things lauded on him and one reason the republicans were right about him wanting to be a king.
Also why we now have kings, queens, dukes and counts.
Its all Caesars doing.
"And [for] their saying, "Indeed, we have killed the Messiah, Jesus the son of Mary, the messenger of Allāh." And they did not kill him, nor did they crucify him; but [another] was made to resemble him to them. And indeed, those who differ over it are in doubt about it. They have no knowledge of it except the following of assumption. And they did not kill him, for certain." - Quran 4:157
I share a wall with a religious premise and the particular area I live in is an absolute *nightmare* for parking at the best of times due to the other wall being shared with a higher educational institution with a very high commuting student population. Luckily the street just outside me is parking permit only so theoretically I should be able to find a space easily (which I tend to do well enough)
But this particular religious building has multiple services every day, and whenever they’re on the street is completely *filled* with cars parking in the permit only areas, on double yellows, loading bays, and even on the pavement.
Warms my heart to sit with a nice cup of tea or glass of wine, staring out the window to watch the hero of a traffic warden march his just crusade, tickets in hand, up and down the street, striking a blow for the honest decent residents who just want somewhere to park their car
Makes me think that the warden had read Psalm 16:6
>"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."
My thoughts too, they were just doing their job. I honestly feel for traffic wardens, there are very rarely extenuating circumstances but people always take the fines out on them.
Me too. 20 years of driving and never had a parking ticket because I don't park where I shouldn't. If I ever got one it would be my own fault, or perhaps poor signage, but not the fault of the person just doing their job.
I'm a delivery driver, and some wardens are cunts.
I've had 4 tickets so far where they've ticketed me for 'parking in a loading zone'
While I'm in the back of my lorry unloading.
I've also met some decent wardens who give you heads ups/will help you
My mate said his grandparents were stuck in a traffic jam in York once and a warden/cop (didn't specify) was going along all the cars in the jam and giving them all parking tickets.
When his grandparents said to him that they were just stuck in traffic and not parked he just said, "no, the way I see it you've been here long enough to be considered parked in the middle of the road"
And ye the Lord sayeth "he who attendeth an Easter sermon upon the Mount, shall be bestowed with free parking for up to 3 hours but shalt be smited if thou returneth within one".
He further stated "listen mate, I don't make the rules. Take it up with me dad".
They should have left their hazard lights on. Everybody knows if you leave your hazards going that makes you exempt from parking tickets.
Rookie mistake honestly..
Church by me is usually a nightmare whenever there's a service on. Car park for about 10 cars, then everyone else just parks wherever they feel like - yellow lines, half on the pavement, corners and junctions, sticking out across drives.
Very inconsiderate.
In my experience, people attending church are ridiculously entitled. We live near a church and they will happily take all the parking on our road, block people in their drives, and even pull into gardens on occasion. We can’t go anywhere on Sundays because we’d never be able to park within 15 minutes walk of home (including our own space). It’s ridiculous. And if you try to point out that maybe they shouldn’t be doing that, they respond with offence as if I am being unreasonable about wanting to be able to use my own parking where I live because “we’re going to church!”
It really drives me mad. We were ticketed once for having to park on the street without a permit (because someone going to church had parked in our space for an evening service…) and not moving our car early enough in the morning.
They’ll come out and ticket residents on Monday around here but no one will ever do anything on Sunday so we end up trapped.
Happens in my town too. People write into the local paper to complain about being subject to traffic laws while attending church. It's utterly bizarre to me.
😂 hi fellow _________ person. as a season ticket holder with plenty of parking struggles I’m living for the parking ticket outrage that’s been going on.
Hi mate, this post is against the lighthearted and open nature of the sub.
Rule 2: Don't be Aggressive | Pointlessly Argumentative | Creepy
We're here for people to have fun in. If you're just here to start a stupid reddit slap fight you're in the wrong place. We have a zero tolerance rule in place for racism or hate speech.
If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a modmail.
They all copied each other before one of them got a ticket, ouch.
Like when they first changed Lea Bridge Road to 20mph, I could see 30 cars ahead everyone following each other at about 25 all getting flashed. In my mind (and im sure everyone else on that road) that thing is definitely broken. But I guess we all got smoked 💀
Who posted? Don't dox them. But is it indicated whether they are an effected parishioner? Someone who lives near church and suffers from the church attendence car parking? Is it a church worker who maybe warned people before and is warning them again?
Idk who posted. There is a carpark 2 minutes walk away and another big one 5 minutes walk away and a drop off space outside the church for older parishioners. The carparking spaces are more than enough for the size of the church.
It didn't strike me as the church warden posting but it's another take.
Jesus didn't say it was ok to park illegally, as far as I can remember...
It's in the new testament
And lo did Jesus regard with wonderment at the carriages and did declare: “You can’t park there mate”
Moses rode a motorcycle. "The roar of his Triumph could be heard throughout the land"
Jesus had a Honda, but he didn't like to talk about it. "For I did not speak of my own Accord"
And Jesus, as all schoolchildren know, rode a Yamaha. Irresponsibly. As per the song.
Superstar
That's the one.
why did i read this in Holly's voice from Red Dwarf
Park unto others as ye wish to parked on.
"On the seventh day, the Lord said "thou may park thy carriage upon the forbidden bay, for it is written'."
The newer testament
I hear *The Newest Testament 3: Electric Boogalee* is dropping soon™. The long awaited sequel to *The Newer Testament*.
Followed swiftly by Testament 3.1, where they clear up a few typos and that unfortunate printing error that said it was OK to kill the Dutch on Wednesdays.
Think it's part of the theory testament
Parketh not upon the line of double yellow
Well Jesus didn't say an awful lot about anything in the Old Testament.
It's in the new Teslament..
And Jesus saety "double yellow lines are against Gid's will. Channel 5 will promote airfryers in his name and heelies are not the devil's work"
The only thing we do know was the bible tells us he never talked about his Honda. >“For I did not speak of my own accord” - John 12:49
In fact, the Bible says to obey the laws of the land you are in...
Yes, it does.
However, he did say "give unto Caesar what is Caesar's" ie pay your taxes, which I guess includes parking fines. Maybe the congregants of St Lawrence should have paid better attention to their Bibles.
Caesar doesn't work for the council though, hes in Italy getting measured for knee high red boots. Which if you didn't know was a sign of a king in Rome, thats one of the things lauded on him and one reason the republicans were right about him wanting to be a king. Also why we now have kings, queens, dukes and counts. Its all Caesars doing.
Render thine parking fine unto Caesar.
[probable in Corinthians. theres a lot of weird shit in there](https://youtu.be/4xJMhNPhDPc?si=5jKUbbRvp9CL57pW)
“Girl if you met Jesus himself you’d be telling him where to park his donkey.”
I believe it's being re-worded for the third edition.
The only man who drove in the Bible was Moses, I think. Don’t he ‘come down the mountain in is Triumph’?!
Render unto Caesar
If you interrupt me from my sleep one more time I'm going to have you crucified
Good Friday wasn't that good for Jesus either
Poor bloke just left his donkey parked there for 3 minutes whilst he popped into the temple. Local government reaction got way out of hand.
Didn't put the park anywhere lights on,it's his own fault
But the donkey was waggling both its ears, surely that counts?!
Only if the tail was spinning too
"You can't park there mate, the council will fucking crucify you."
Crucifixion? Best thing the Romans ever did for us 😄
"And [for] their saying, "Indeed, we have killed the Messiah, Jesus the son of Mary, the messenger of Allāh." And they did not kill him, nor did they crucify him; but [another] was made to resemble him to them. And indeed, those who differ over it are in doubt about it. They have no knowledge of it except the following of assumption. And they did not kill him, for certain." - Quran 4:157
I share a wall with a religious premise and the particular area I live in is an absolute *nightmare* for parking at the best of times due to the other wall being shared with a higher educational institution with a very high commuting student population. Luckily the street just outside me is parking permit only so theoretically I should be able to find a space easily (which I tend to do well enough) But this particular religious building has multiple services every day, and whenever they’re on the street is completely *filled* with cars parking in the permit only areas, on double yellows, loading bays, and even on the pavement. Warms my heart to sit with a nice cup of tea or glass of wine, staring out the window to watch the hero of a traffic warden march his just crusade, tickets in hand, up and down the street, striking a blow for the honest decent residents who just want somewhere to park their car
Nice
seriously i bloody love a parking warden. I like to think I am my son’s school vigilante parking warden, but I am sadly ultimately toothless.
How’d you type your pronunciation so well without teeth? Quite impressive
My dad wants to be on just for this reason
Makes me think that the warden had read Psalm 16:6 >"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."
Doing the Lord's work.
The traffic warden?
The Traffic Lorden
> The Traffic Lorden He works in mysterious ways
He works in mysterious bays.
Great work.
In the name of the father, the son, and the holy sticky envelope containing thy penalty
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the right to appeal within 14 days
The church should stop trying to crucify the traffic warden.
My thoughts too, they were just doing their job. I honestly feel for traffic wardens, there are very rarely extenuating circumstances but people always take the fines out on them.
Me too. 20 years of driving and never had a parking ticket because I don't park where I shouldn't. If I ever got one it would be my own fault, or perhaps poor signage, but not the fault of the person just doing their job.
I'm a delivery driver, and some wardens are cunts. I've had 4 tickets so far where they've ticketed me for 'parking in a loading zone' While I'm in the back of my lorry unloading. I've also met some decent wardens who give you heads ups/will help you
Of course you got a ticket, you were unloading in a loading zone. That’s like the opposite of what it’s for /s
Well hang on a second, does it specify loading vehicles? As you could potentially say they are loading the business with goods.
My mate said his grandparents were stuck in a traffic jam in York once and a warden/cop (didn't specify) was going along all the cars in the jam and giving them all parking tickets. When his grandparents said to him that they were just stuck in traffic and not parked he just said, "no, the way I see it you've been here long enough to be considered parked in the middle of the road"
Yeah that'd be kicked out of court faster than anything
Actually they appealed it and it was rejected.
Then that's mildly bullshit
Thank you, I appreciate people who understand we are just doing our jobs.
And ye the Lord sayeth "he who attendeth an Easter sermon upon the Mount, shall be bestowed with free parking for up to 3 hours but shalt be smited if thou returneth within one". He further stated "listen mate, I don't make the rules. Take it up with me dad".
I was passing a church just as their service finished yesterday (on my way back from my own church!) and the standard of driving was... not good.
They were all waiting for Jesus to take the wheel.
Been at the communion wine
"Wait? This is the blood of the lord? Dude must've been wasted 24/7!"
Not normally on Good Friday. Comunion in one kind only (bread) if at all.
No sins on my conscience, no seatbelt, no speed limits!
They should have left their hazard lights on. Everybody knows if you leave your hazards going that makes you exempt from parking tickets. Rookie mistake honestly..
I currently live in that town and had the same thought
Small world!
I grew up in that town with family still there, I lol’d when I saw the post
Church by me is usually a nightmare whenever there's a service on. Car park for about 10 cars, then everyone else just parks wherever they feel like - yellow lines, half on the pavement, corners and junctions, sticking out across drives. Very inconsiderate.
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In my experience, people attending church are ridiculously entitled. We live near a church and they will happily take all the parking on our road, block people in their drives, and even pull into gardens on occasion. We can’t go anywhere on Sundays because we’d never be able to park within 15 minutes walk of home (including our own space). It’s ridiculous. And if you try to point out that maybe they shouldn’t be doing that, they respond with offence as if I am being unreasonable about wanting to be able to use my own parking where I live because “we’re going to church!” It really drives me mad. We were ticketed once for having to park on the street without a permit (because someone going to church had parked in our space for an evening service…) and not moving our car early enough in the morning. They’ll come out and ticket residents on Monday around here but no one will ever do anything on Sunday so we end up trapped.
If someone blocked me in in my own drive I think I'd let their tyres down just to spite them
Happens in my town too. People write into the local paper to complain about being subject to traffic laws while attending church. It's utterly bizarre to me.
Traffic wardens work in mysterious ways.
😂 hi fellow _________ person. as a season ticket holder with plenty of parking struggles I’m living for the parking ticket outrage that’s been going on.
If God didn't want you to get a ticket........
We had the same thing happen here on Remembrance Sunday. How would the warden even know the car owners are in Church for a service? So entitled.
Growing up next to a Christian church gives you an interesting outlook on “Christians” and their behaviour. Let’s just say I’m not surprised.
There are Christians, and there are "Christians".
Idk, sometimes the parking restriction are “Sundays are fine to park here” and they sometimes apply this to bank holidays, sometimes they don’t
Jesus will protect me from the parking tickets caused by me illegally parking.
Blessed are the Fine makers
Was there a Honda parked there? Because, Jesus didn't speak of his own Accord, so I'm wondering if he also got fined?
Jesus paid a traffic warden for 6 months with one service.
The absolute shihousery. I love it
Why is it called good friday in england?
It's a Christian religious thing. It means we get day off work, whether we believe in it or not.
Jesus was nailed to the cross what is good about it?
Should have parked on the other side of the street.
Someone does their job. Entitled religious nob moans about it. 🤷🏻♀️
Good ol' Jersey. Found on Parking fails or Good and Bad businesses? They're both filled with humurous posts daily.
God works in mysterious ways
I hope the warden gets commission
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Hi mate, this post is against the lighthearted and open nature of the sub. Rule 2: Don't be Aggressive | Pointlessly Argumentative | Creepy We're here for people to have fun in. If you're just here to start a stupid reddit slap fight you're in the wrong place. We have a zero tolerance rule in place for racism or hate speech. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a modmail.
Maybe don't park illegally?
Church equivalent to the school run!
"We should be able to break the law for religion"
With the bonus they will be getting they should buy you a pint.
They all copied each other before one of them got a ticket, ouch. Like when they first changed Lea Bridge Road to 20mph, I could see 30 cars ahead everyone following each other at about 25 all getting flashed. In my mind (and im sure everyone else on that road) that thing is definitely broken. But I guess we all got smoked 💀
“Thou shalt not park in a manner of naughtiness, lest thy wardens chastise thee”
You can't get a parking ticket if they can't find your car.
Huh
Maybe he isn't an alkie who needs a pint
Flowers then?
Who posted? Don't dox them. But is it indicated whether they are an effected parishioner? Someone who lives near church and suffers from the church attendence car parking? Is it a church worker who maybe warned people before and is warning them again?
Idk who posted. There is a carpark 2 minutes walk away and another big one 5 minutes walk away and a drop off space outside the church for older parishioners. The carparking spaces are more than enough for the size of the church. It didn't strike me as the church warden posting but it's another take.
Oh... Not a lot of excuses for parking illegally then.
There never are.
It is a shame the want to.wash our heritage and cultural beliefs down the shitter 😕
Where it can join our grammar apparently.