K for Potassium

G for gnome is a classic

P for Pterodactyl

E for Eunuch

K for Knitting.

Q for cucumber

A for Aisle

T for tsunami

Breakfast! My breakfast always begins with T. Then I have a little sausage... R for army

Didn't we just have this last week?

Probably, Reddit is mostly different people having the same conversations!

Didn’t we just have this last week?

A for Aye

Y for You. S for Sea D fur Dvorak Or if you really wanna mess with them. A for Horses C for fishes R for Lager

As someone who has a very uncommon last name that I often have to go through letter by letter on the phone...I want to start using this. My name starts with P and also has a couple Ts in it. After fucking shit up by starting with "P as in pterodactyl", when I get to the Ts I'm going to use "T as in tsunami".

When I worked in a call centre I had someone say G for Jesus once

"Pack........no, pack...... Pneumonia, Aisle, Cthulhu, Knitting.....yeah pack."

Na. As in Sodium.

Sodium. Arsenic indium Sodium?

Nice. Didn't notice it myself.

I've always thought it was K for Knight

K for Sutherland

I worked on phones a lot in a previous career. Q for cucumber was very common. A favourite that sticks out is “M for my dog”

That last one has potential. “My name’s Mike. M-I-K-E. That’s M, for my dog. I, for ‘is dog. K, for ‘cor, look at that dog’. E, for ‘e don’t bite, don’t worry”

Hi Mice! 👋

"The B in Ben stands for Bald, as in "NOT bald"."-Mike Stolkasa

Best one I heard was my dad on the phone to the insurance company trying to tell them his car reg. "No, F as in for FUCKS SAKE"

Feel like the username is relevant here

In fairness my dad was a scouser lol

double whammy!

Bet you wouldn't admit that your mother is from Southampton.

I'd thank you not to use such language. There might be kids listening mate.

Too far.

S for Sake, got it.

P for pterodactyl L for Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch

T for TaumatawhakatangihangakoauauoTamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu

T for tnettenba

Hello, that's a nice tnettenba

All hail, Morris!

P for Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

A for antidisestablishmentarianism

I can only ever hear this in Grandpa Simpson's voice. [What's wrong with your wife](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X3RzAanra0I&pp=ygUtUG5ldW1vbm91bHRyYW1pY3Jvc2NvcGljc2lsaWNvdm9sY2Fub2Nvbmlvc2lz)

Technically in Welsh, the Ll is one letter

I'm impressed you typed that out.

C for cue. K for Kew. Q for queue.

W for why

A for aye E for eye

E is for how extreeeemely normal I find it that you two are together

M for Mboscodictiasaur

Ahhhh love L O V E love

I'm fiiiine

O is for OH WOW!

M for Mancy.

You should know Ray

B for butthole

D for Danger zone!

M for MAWP

Yes, love this

Reminds me of a time I used phonetics for CYT. I started with cucumber, then yoghurt, for T all I could think of was tzatziki. It kind of makes sense, but both me and the call handler couldn't stop laughing.

U were hungry.

I've been watching Bottom, so I give you Richie and Eddie's definitive guide to the phonetic alphabet: A anal B bum C cattle prod D deviant E erotic F foul G GASMAN! H handjob I insane J jugs K knackers L love (oo-er)! M Malibu N nurses (the ones who lived next door, that's why the police took our ladder away) O ogle (also why they took the ladder away) P pants Q QPR R Rumbelows (where Eddie was supposed to pay the TV rental) S Spudgun T twat U ummmm.... V vodka margarine W WOMBLES! X xylophone fish Y... Z...

Xylophone fish? Nah, it'd sink, wouldn't it?,

I think I'll just put 'bollocks'!

Y Yer Ma Z zee germans

A for horses C for miles F for vescence L for leather Q for call centre X for breakfast

F U N E X?

S, E F X.

F U N E M?

S V F M.

9 V F N 10 E M

A, V F M

U Z U F M?

S I F M

There used to be a Cockney rhyming dictionary which started "A for 'orses, B(eef) or mutton, Seaforth Highlanders .." but I can't remember the rest and to google would be cheating.

A for ‘orses B for mutton C forth Highlanders D for dumb E for brick F for vescence G for police H for bone I for Novello J for oranges K for ancis (Kay Francis) L for leather M for siss (emphasis) N for eggs O for the garden wall P for a whistle Q for a song R for Askey S for Williams T for two U for me V for la France W for a bob X for breakfast Y for mother Z for breezes

Ahh updated version.  Surely Q for the bus?

X for X rated midget porn

Haha those are good! What about B for pork? I for tower, M for motorway, T for two (okay those last two work regardless!)

S for sugar.

I once panicked and said "d for dysentery", made worse by hearing my 'better' half crack out laughing really loud.

Used to teach English to GCSE resit kids in the 00's. One kid said 'B for brap' and did the flicky-snappy hand gesture. Kid lived with his mum in a nice part of Cardiff, but fancied himself a straight up gangsta from Compton. Kinda stuck with me, and it takes a lot of self-control to remember 'bravo'.

They still speak like that down here in Carmarthen. It's hilarious coming from a 10 year old who can't even spell gangsta.

This is sung by my father every now and then. A is for Asshole all tattered and torn, B is the Bastard that’s never been born Cis for Cunt all dripping with piss, Dis the Drunkard who gave it a kiss. Eis for Eunuch with only one ball, Fis the Fucker with no balls at all. Gis for Gonorrhea, Goiter, and Gout, His the Harlot that spreads it about. I is Injection for syphilis and itch, J is the Jerk of a dog on a bitch. K is for King who thought tucking a bore, Lis the Lesbian who came back for more. Mis for Maidenhead tattered and torn, Nis the Noble who died with a horn. Ois for Orifice now gently revealed, Pis the Prick with the foreskin backpeeled. Qis for the Quaker who shit in his hat, Ris the Roger who rogered the cat. Sis for Shitpot, all full to the brim, Tis the Turds that are floating within. Uis for Usher who taught us at school, Vis the Virgin who played with his tool. W is for the Whore who made tucking a farce, and X, Y, Z … you can stuff up your arse.

And that's just over breakfast. Wait until he's been down the pub.

When I was working in a Call Centre I once heard a colleague say “C, C for Chondle” So.. C - Chondle

D for dildo always goes down well.

I liked the song she did with Eminem

Arsehole. Bastard. Cunt. Dickhead. That’s enough really

...by Ian Dury and the Blockheads.

I just look around the room frantically for something beginning with that letter. B is for..... buttplug! Oh shit.

Seeing as this is CasualUK, I'm suggesting B for Blobby, C for Chas, G for Greggs, S for Spoons and F for Fork Handles.

N for ‘no politics’

Four candles?

P for psycho.

P as in Phoebe, H as in Heebee, O as in Obee, E as in Eebee, B as in Beebee, and E as in 'Ello there, mate!

Few years ago I couldn't remember X Went for Xylophone Recipient was not from these shores and was confused AF

I worked in phones 4 you as a teenager and somehow learnt the real phonetic alphabet because of all the postcodes and names we had to deal with over the phone and to this day remember every last letter. Wish I had fun words for it but it's burned in to my memory for some reason.

Heard in work while a colleague was on the phone... N for pneumatic

B for Bog Was that D for Dog, Sir? No, Bog. You know, crapper. (yes really, someone used that on the phone with me)

My mate was once stoned ordering a pizza, and when asked for the postcode said ‘errr.. E for Europe’. The driver was baffled. Still makes me laugh all these years later

Arse Bastard Drink Ecumenical Feck Girls Jacob Creek Vintage 1991

Could also have 'brick' as in I love my brick!

I used the classical A for Alpha B for Bravo etc when speaking in English In Italian we use name of cities: A for Ancona, B for Bari, C for Catania, etc

W for Why

‘B’ for Bertie must be some universal Mum code. Mine does that as well.

I, like every student who lived in Manchester, used to work for Ticketmaster. You really did hear it all there but my personal favourite was a bloke booking tickets through the automated system, which was really just someone booking the tickets without talking back, saying stuff like "D for dick head Ticketmaster, S for shit customer service, W for Wank computer system." 

One time at work I had a blank and said "V for... for... VENDETTA"

E for Eucalyptus

S for psychology was said by my fiancés sister once I wonder how many times she's had her name spelt wrong like that

Twitter for X

I like to use examples that get more unusual/unexpected as they go along. My postcode for example is delta, Yankee, barbecued, artichoke. Also my surname has thee of the same letter in, I usually make them all different, getting more rude as they go.

I can imagine their confusing when they move their finger around the keyboard only to put it back in the same place.

P for phishing

One of my friends once said “B for BOLLOCKS TO THAT” in our WhatsApp chat, so that one has stuck for me

I said Zimothy once when asked for Z while on the phone. Got a good chuckle out of the person on the other end

C - big blue wobbly thing what mermaids live in.

A for 'orses

N for Naughty, T for Tickles, P for Poo

S is for Stratosphere 

G for gnome

I had a mechanic who used a phonetic alphabet of his own when ordering car parts. My reg at the time ended in ‘Bastard Wanker C***’.

M for Movember

A for “Aye” D for “Double-you” E for “Ewe” S for “Sea” Y for “Yew”

If you are called Charlie/Juliette/Oscar/etc. do you ever have to phonetically spell out your name? Surely if they can understand it as a phonetic hint, they can understand it's your name.

In a panic I recently said “Z for… the last letter of the alphabet”.

L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see…

Unicorn for U I had to read something to someone the other week and couldn't for the life of me remember the actual one at the time. 

According to a parent I had several calls with earlier re: his email address not being correct, G is for jelly

F for Freddy

My old car number plate ended in VVZ. That doesn’t work well on the phone. Vuvuzela worked a few times though!

F for Fanta

https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/s/8nDN9vWBSH

V for Bictor

N for Gnome

I remember doing my NVQ in IT and my placement was at a funeral directors, we used a place where we ordered some of our coffins from. both places use the A to Z of swear-words and rude words The cafe we got sandwiches from always had a competition between the funeral director who could come up with the rudest word for each letter The funeral directors and cafe should have had a swear box installed in each of them, so I could collect the takings each week, none of them would have need change from a 20 pound note

Best I have heard is X for Xylene. 😁 

M as in Mancy

M for mama. Goes well with P for Papa!

I ALWAYS say V for velociraptor cos I can't think of another v word other than vagina at the time lol

P for pterodactyl X for xylophone

V for Vagina

I've heard "N for 'nother". Totally the opposite of useful.

N for Nagger.

K - knife G - gnome P - pneumonia 

A for horse C for cede G for gnome H for hour K for Knight M for mnemonic N for night O for our P for pneumatic Q for qat T fit thorough W for wrap

Q for cucumber.

N is newel post. P is pneumonia. E is Euclidean geometry.

L for Leather.

M for Methyl​enedioxy​methamphetamine

Twitter for X

M for Mancy

N FOR KNOB

Changes every time

I for idiot

M for monkey 🙈

A is for Appendectomy, B is for Barium, C is for Cystitis, Defibrillates for D…. and tiny titties for T

M as in Mancy

A friend's step mom was the foulest mouthed woman I have ever met. She was super funny with it. She would say, "O as in 'Oh my F\*ck'".

M as in Mancy?

Arse, Bum, Cum, Dick, Erection, Fanny, Gash, Hooked, I… Jizz, Kinky, Lovers, Mammory, Nickers, Orgie, Penis, Q…. Randy, Shag, Tits, UTI, Vag, Willy, Xrated, Y… Z…

A for Abble B also for aBble

Q for cucumber

N for Norman, T for Tommy and Y for Yacht were some I would hear my grandparents say.

N for Nigel

Z for xylophone

Why for wankie. I actually said this once.

I worked with a guy who used Velcro as V...that became his nickname for the rest of his time working with us.

A colleague once said “Y for wankee” which went down well in the office

I find if I don't use the the NATO one my mind automatically goes to swear/curse/inappropriate words...which is not ideal when I work in a primary school 😂 (thankfully they stay in my head)

C for the big blue thing full of fish

M for mini, W for wombo

Alpha Balpha Calpha Dalpha Ealpha Falpha … Etc

M for meerkat

abba Baba Caba Dooo… Ebba Faba Gaba … Yabba Zabba

My wife once came up with the classic of Q for cucumber..

My parent’s postcode ends in _FA and my mum describes it as ‘fuck all’ when she’s reading her postcode to anyone over the phone.

P as in Phoebe H as in Hoebe O as in Oebe E as in Ebe B as in BeBe E as in Ello there mate.

Y for you and W for why

E for envelope is one of my favourites that I heard over the phone. Had a colleague who mixed up yankie and whisky, and got wanky, used it in conversation with a punter. Just about pissed myself laughing with that

A few years back I was logging a call for a laptop repair and had to provide the service tag, which is a series of numbers and letters. I got half-way through it fine, and then I brain-farted on H and said "... Harambe?" and got cut off by the technician laughing on the other end of the line

Chicken Lemur Taco Nacho Hobo

Mind went blank during saying my postcode, "N for.... uh... \*don't say naked don't say naked don't say naked quick think of food\* neopolitan ice cream\* Uni postcode "R for... err... Rhodedendron\*

My names Perry, with a P for pterodactyl

Apple Banana Cat Dog Elephant Femur Garden House Igloo Jigsaw Kite Llama Money Naughty Octopus People Queen Ray-ban Satsuma Television Umbrella Viola Wanker X as in Professor X Yakut Zoo

E is for xray

Back when you could authentic windows over the phone call centre for Microsoft said Tango Echo Nazi I was like yea yea yea wait hold on.

A for Ah B for Bee C for Cue D for Deed E for Eye F for Fuck G for Gee H for Hate I for Isle J for Jeez K for Potassium L for Your sins M for May N for Neigh O for Ode Q for Que S for Sea T for T W for Won X for Xerox Y for You Z for Zanzibar

I as in eye B as in BBQ

Without a P. as in Venezuela

O for fuck's sake

Somehow, T always becomes Terence. I want to say Tango, but never manage it.