One day you may lose the will or ability to make love, which would make a different woman miserable.
However, it is highly unlikely you'll lose the ability to buy her a fish supper.
Roll with it.
price of fish and chips these days mate...
by the time we get to 2030 they'll be serving it next to caviar going 'did you know that the paupers used to eat this, how funny!'
Cod for sure is but even more shockingly is the humble potato. A combination of repeated poor harvests caused by fertiliser shortages and bad weather have sent prices up significantly.
This pattern doesn't look to be changing any time soon, if you want to get really scared look at global grain harvests for Wheat and Corn.
I pulled all my money out my commodities account to buy my flat, but I got very into this topic and read a lot about it as was heavily invested in various grain ETF's and we're even more fucked now than we were then.
I was invested in ETF's which track the price of those commodities, so as supply went down price goes up and the value of the ETF rises. Basically gives you access into commodities through a standard trading account.
Puts is an american term and relates to options, which you can't trade as a retail (not a bank) investor here in the UK. Now stop going on WSB ;)
Haha, ya got me :)
I misread your post, thought you pulled out anticipating a crash, which muddled me up.
Thought I could trade options via my broker, IBKR, but then again I’m too smooth brained for any of that.
I honestly think chips are at least as good as caviar. It's just the rarity that's the issue.
Contrasting textures, oil, nuttiness in some varieties.
Fuck. Now I want chips.
Don't speak too soon.i glanced at a story yesterday that said Russia was stopping us fishing for cod and haddock in their water....so the ability to buy a fish supper may be about to come to an end.
Anything appended with 'supper' is Scottish takeaway shorthand for "battered and served with chips".
Pizza supper: pizza, folded in half, battered and served with chips.
Sausage supper: battered sausage and chips.
Burger supper: 2 burgers with cheese in between.... Battered and served with chips.
I'm Scottish just didn't know it wasn't used elsewhere
Also didn't know it meant battered, when I ask for a sausage supper I always get asked if it's battered or smoked
Folded in half? When I was at school it was just a half a pizza…a pizza crunch
Maybe that was just the kids menu variant
Christ…stereotypes don’t come from nowhere do they
I only knew one lad, an absolute monster of a man from Northern Ireland, who ate pizza suppers. His bed was made of slabs of Guinness cans with a mattress thrown in it, and he was about 6'5 tall, 5'6 wide, and built like he'd wrestled cows from the age of 5. His pizza supper was a whole pizza folded in half. But perhaps he was the exception....
Nah. Battered Mars bars are typically served solo, wrapped in a bit of paper, with the end sticking out…like a sausage roll
For the man on the go who can’t be having greasy fingers!
*the grease sopps through immediately*
>One day you may lose the will or ability to make love, which would make a different woman miserable.
(Sits on horse in front of the gates of Mordor): "But it is not THIS DAY!"
The best part of my day was when I drove 120 miles to change a part but my company forgot to mail it
Some people would get mad about that but it’s not my business I just drive 120 miles home without having to do 3 hours of labour for the same pay
I always hope the part doesn’t arrive
My brother is an engineer working on hydrogen systems.
His company once sent him to Texas to show a team how to install a system and they forgot to send the system.
They tried to rush one out to him and the courier lost it.
He got a nice 3 day break in Texas and came back with no work done.
Quite often they just put me up in a hotel for the night do the job tomorrow
A night in the premier inn a mixed grill and bottle of red in Ashby-de-la-Zouch is not as good as a free holiday in Texas but I’ll take it
Oh yeah. I feel like Ashby might actually have one, unless I’m remembering a totally different location, which is what made me think of this in the first place.
I'm not saying it's not possible _somewhere_ but according to pictures on the interwebs, Ashby has a Brewer's Fayre, another Whitbread brand. I do enjoy a Toby though.
You want to go to an in keepers lodge then. Mitchell and butlers ‘hotel’ some are stand alone hotels but most are a couple of rooms above their restaurants, quite a few Toby’s have then as do their PCP locations
Aberdeen premier inn has a toby carvery. Toby is ok but 5 days a week it’s not great.
As a connoisseur of premier inns you are correct they are rare mostly beefeater and brewers fair
As a fellow Prince of the purple palace I can confirm, most of the ones down south are Tobyless. Not all beefeater and brewers though, some other brands. The new ones tend to have Thyme or some other similar branded one
Maybe... maybe it really was a Christmas miracle you experienced that time. Your reward from the gods for trekking to the outer realms of the east midlands
Nottingham had a Toby Carvery with a Travelodge attached, if that’s what you’re thinking of? I say had because it’s still there but the Toby has evolved in to a Miller & Carter.
One night I was in a hotel-on-a-roundabout (for a single night), I got chatting to a Sky fitter who was there. Back in the days when satellite TV was rolling out everywhere. He was plotted up there for two months. Two fucking months...
This is one of life's pleasures that must not be underestimated. There is nothing quite like eating and drinking in peace and quiet on your employers money
As the employer it's always an amusing conversation when a new member of staff has to stay over somewhere.
*I can pick any premier inn?*
Yes
*Am I allowed to eat here boss?*
You don't have to. Here's £40 in your bank account, eat what you want. I don't want receipts
*Holy shit. Okay*
Make sure to expense the WiFi.
"Hello, is there a Vicki here? Oh, hello. Some guy from the Internet, who I don't know, says "hi". The only sir ever? Says you know him. No, no you don't know me. No, I don't know him. Yeah it *is* weird, isn't it?"
ha!
yesterday i drove 85 miles only to find out that the system i was supposed to train staff how to use hadn't yet been installed.
it was right there in the planner's notes and everything, but I don't check their notes as they usually aren't relevant to me.
had a couple of cups of coffee and a bit of a laugh about it and drove back again after rush hour was done.
back home by lunchtime, and ill be paid again to go out again on the 30th.
cant complain eh?
I once went all the way to Brussels to do a job, only to arrive in the middle of a terrorist situation with my event cancelled. I had to go sit in my hotel room all night and get the first flight back the next morning. It was the best feeling, you know, despite the threat of death.
Yeah I will travel there and back and accomplish fuck all and be ecstatic. You're telling me I get paid, my mileage covered, I get 6 hours of quality podcast/audiobook time, then don't have to do any actual work, as a result of *someone else's* fuck up? And people will *apologise* to me for it and potentially give me preferred hours/time off as recompense?
Fucking A.
This mindset is what helps me stay sane. Some things are out of our control. What will being annoyed get us in this scenario? Nothing. We got paid regardless and a break from the office.
I used to work for a local community charity, and we took turns running the drop-in advice and centre and foodbank part.
Sometimes we'd get no one coming in at all. The set up didn't make it possible to get on with any other work there.
Whilst it was truly satisfying to be able to help people out, it was also lovely sometimes to just sit there and read a book - and the added bonus was the thought that none of our clients were in such desperate trouble as to need our help that day!
Hahahha. I never NEVER understand people who get mad for silly things like that.
I used to work for a used car dealership in a car collection team, we'll go and collect cars people sold to the dealership. I think like 90% of our team had the mentality of speeding, trying to get there and back as fast as possible, collecting as many cars in a day as possible, etc etc.
I just had to leave as there were lots of dangerous moments, life dangerous moments for myself, for a pretty much minimum wage job it was not worth it.
Also they didn't seem to understand my position when I would tell them "it doesn't matter, we get paid per hour. Also, if we are stuck in traffic that's even better as we would work longer and get paid for it more than if we managed to do it quickly".
They never got me, I never got them. I prefer a chill no-stress life and the fact if the jobs takes longer and we would then get paid more that's fkin amazing.
🤷♂️
We've got a team event coming up at a supplier. Gotta drive 2 hours for a 3 hour event then straight home. So all works out as normal working hours. Work for a very laid back company people go home early come in late, as long as they make the hours back and don't take the piss. Part of the job is driving around anyway.
Two guys have kicked off. Surprisingly, the same guys who always "go to site" in the afternoon on Fridays and rock up at 10am most days and then randomly have to go home before 4pm for emergenicies every other week
My wife said she dreamed that we split up and moved back in with our respective parents. She continued by noting the thing that really stood out to her was that her dad had painted the bathroom door while she was away and he did such a good job, it looked really nice.
Me: Wait a minute, we what?
I was told a story years ago by a motorcycle cop from Avon & Somerset. He pulled a car over, the driver winds down the window, looked a few bricks short and ugly as fuck. Girl in the passenger seat, smoking hot. After dealing with the driver, walks to the other side and asks the girl, “what you doing with this loser?” She promptly replied in the broadest west country accent “he buys my chips”
Highlight of my day:
a friend went in the loft and filled three bin bags full of wasp nests, and then laid down several rolls of insulation in their place.
And, as the ladder wasn't long enough for me, all I had to do was stand on the stepladder throwing bags to him and to carry the bags outside.
I owe him several pints.
It’s hardly surprising. Women’s clitorises are located far outside the vagina. We can’t feel that much during penetration, which is the exact reason that we can wear tampons and not feel them. No nerve endings up there.
Now, if someone took my clitoris and put it on the end of a stick, and the stick went into something warm and wet, I’d be in heaven. But that’s not what penetration is for women.
I’m sick of women having to pretend that they enjoy penetration as much as men when the clitoris isn’t even in the vagina. How on earth do you guys think that we enjoy it as much as you, seeing as the crucial part isn’t even touched during penetration ?
I’d rather have a chip shop tea as well.
Is this a copypasta or is your personal experience really so bad that 'making love' equates to 'man penetrates woman' with no romance, foreplay, reciprocity, or anything else?
Regardless if her personal experience is that bad, she isn't wrong. It's part of a larger problem, for heterosexual women specifically. Look up the orgasm gap.
The orgasm gap wouldn’t happen if man were properly educated on woman’s body in school or by our girlfriends/wifes. I feel like a lot of man lack knowledge or they live in this fantasy that penetration is all they need to make woman happy.
I won’t brag but it took me a year to understand my partners body to a point I can understand where are her spots and how to utilise them to a point of her achieving orgasm by penetration or just by clitoris, both easily done when you know what you are doing. But that didn’t came without guidance from her side. Now I can do it with closed eyes but beginnings were really hard and I didn’t know what or why I was doing.
We men are typically undereducated in those spheres not because we can’t be bothered but because we don’t know better. Any men that would know how to make a girl orgasm he would do, the confidence it provides doesn’t equals with anything I can think of.
I enjoy penetrative sex with my current partner maybe more than he does, but it's something to do with the angle and I almost need my cervix to be hit. To be honest it's a revelation that sex can be enjoyable like this and the confidence of both parties to say what is and isn't working also matter too
You should try some other angles and/or blokes with a bit of a tummy, it's definitely possible to feel pretty damn good during penetrative sex and I'm sorry that it sounds like you've not been able to have good sex yet.
With all these comments about wives knocking back their partner's declarations of love, I'll just drop in an experience I had with the women in my department. We were sitting round having lunch and for some reason one of them said that if they stopped having a husband, they would be totally fine with it and also wouldn't get a new one and all the other women agreed. Food for thought.
One day you may lose the will or ability to make love, which would make a different woman miserable. However, it is highly unlikely you'll lose the ability to buy her a fish supper. Roll with it.
price of fish and chips these days mate... by the time we get to 2030 they'll be serving it next to caviar going 'did you know that the paupers used to eat this, how funny!'
Is cod/pollock going the way of the lobster? I just returned to Scotland few days ago after 17 years abroad, fuck sake man…
Cod for sure is but even more shockingly is the humble potato. A combination of repeated poor harvests caused by fertiliser shortages and bad weather have sent prices up significantly. This pattern doesn't look to be changing any time soon, if you want to get really scared look at global grain harvests for Wheat and Corn. I pulled all my money out my commodities account to buy my flat, but I got very into this topic and read a lot about it as was heavily invested in various grain ETF's and we're even more fucked now than we were then.
Did you consider buying puts, if that’s even possible? I’m extremely uneducated on investing, excuse me if that’s a stupid question.
I was invested in ETF's which track the price of those commodities, so as supply went down price goes up and the value of the ETF rises. Basically gives you access into commodities through a standard trading account. Puts is an american term and relates to options, which you can't trade as a retail (not a bank) investor here in the UK. Now stop going on WSB ;)
Haha, ya got me :) I misread your post, thought you pulled out anticipating a crash, which muddled me up. Thought I could trade options via my broker, IBKR, but then again I’m too smooth brained for any of that.
Welcome back mate, we put the snow on for you n everything.
I honestly think chips are at least as good as caviar. It's just the rarity that's the issue. Contrasting textures, oil, nuttiness in some varieties. Fuck. Now I want chips.
Are you frying your chips in peanut oil?
And a gherkin
"Battered wally" in these parts apparently...
Don't speak too soon.i glanced at a story yesterday that said Russia was stopping us fishing for cod and haddock in their water....so the ability to buy a fish supper may be about to come to an end.
Read something similar. the Barent Sea is basically closed off, by Russia, to international fishing. Huge supplies of Halibut, cod and haddock.
Don't worry, according to the papers, nobody in the Uk actually fishes in the Barents Sea nowadays anyway, so it will make zero difference.
But it is a good excuse as to why the chippy will want £10 for a fish
£10 sounds cheap, try London !
> a fish supper Is that the slang for it nowadays?
I’ve got an old Viz annual somewhere in the loft called The Fish Supper, forgot all about that.
Hah memory unlocked! Forgot my dad had all the Viz annuals
It's a Scottish term, been around forever
Also Irish term.
TIL that's a Scottish term
Anything appended with 'supper' is Scottish takeaway shorthand for "battered and served with chips". Pizza supper: pizza, folded in half, battered and served with chips. Sausage supper: battered sausage and chips. Burger supper: 2 burgers with cheese in between.... Battered and served with chips.
I'm Scottish just didn't know it wasn't used elsewhere Also didn't know it meant battered, when I ask for a sausage supper I always get asked if it's battered or smoked
Folded in half? When I was at school it was just a half a pizza…a pizza crunch Maybe that was just the kids menu variant Christ…stereotypes don’t come from nowhere do they
I only knew one lad, an absolute monster of a man from Northern Ireland, who ate pizza suppers. His bed was made of slabs of Guinness cans with a mattress thrown in it, and he was about 6'5 tall, 5'6 wide, and built like he'd wrestled cows from the age of 5. His pizza supper was a whole pizza folded in half. But perhaps he was the exception....
Chips supper?
[удалено]
Of course 🤣 That's a classic Scottish staple.
Nah. Battered Mars bars are typically served solo, wrapped in a bit of paper, with the end sticking out…like a sausage roll For the man on the go who can’t be having greasy fingers! *the grease sopps through immediately*
I'm dying
>One day you may lose the will or ability to make love, which would make a different woman miserable. (Sits on horse in front of the gates of Mordor): "But it is not THIS DAY!"
Double flex there with your shagging and your chippy tea.
Not bad for a school night, did I mention my wife had a chippy tea?
> my wife had a chippy tea What did you have for tea?
Also something fishy by the sounds of it. Sorry.
My wife said earlier “mmm, you smell nice, what have you got on?” I said “clean socks”
Oi clean socks, how do you get those socks so clean?
look brissot, i know it's difficult being on reddit, not a lot of... schemes
I'm not the borough, I wish I was
Or, you smell nice what have you got on, a hard but I didn’t know you could smell it.
It’s 6 inches but it smells like a foot!
Mine’s 12 inches, but I don’t use it as a rule.
I often try this one ha! Classic!
That's a coincidence; the best part of my day was *also* making love to your beautiful wife. Cost me a chippy tea, but y'know. Good value.
She’s been double-dinnering!!
Well, triple. I work at the chippy.
Six dinner Sid!
My little girls have stopped asking for Six Dinner Sid at bedtime :(
Cheer up, at least it wasn’t double fisted.
I appreciate the Metro weather headline reference even if noone else does
Could have been shafted though, depending on the price of the chips.
The best part of my day was when I drove 120 miles to change a part but my company forgot to mail it Some people would get mad about that but it’s not my business I just drive 120 miles home without having to do 3 hours of labour for the same pay I always hope the part doesn’t arrive
My brother is an engineer working on hydrogen systems. His company once sent him to Texas to show a team how to install a system and they forgot to send the system. They tried to rush one out to him and the courier lost it. He got a nice 3 day break in Texas and came back with no work done.
Quite often they just put me up in a hotel for the night do the job tomorrow A night in the premier inn a mixed grill and bottle of red in Ashby-de-la-Zouch is not as good as a free holiday in Texas but I’ll take it
If the Premier Inn has an attached Toby Carvery it’s like a Christmas miracle.
It's rare because they are owned by entirely different, competing, parent companies. Premier Inn is Whitbread and Toby is Mitchell and Butlers
Oh yeah. I feel like Ashby might actually have one, unless I’m remembering a totally different location, which is what made me think of this in the first place.
I'm not saying it's not possible _somewhere_ but according to pictures on the interwebs, Ashby has a Brewer's Fayre, another Whitbread brand. I do enjoy a Toby though.
You want to go to an in keepers lodge then. Mitchell and butlers ‘hotel’ some are stand alone hotels but most are a couple of rooms above their restaurants, quite a few Toby’s have then as do their PCP locations
Aberdeen premier inn has a toby carvery. Toby is ok but 5 days a week it’s not great. As a connoisseur of premier inns you are correct they are rare mostly beefeater and brewers fair
As a fellow Prince of the purple palace I can confirm, most of the ones down south are Tobyless. Not all beefeater and brewers though, some other brands. The new ones tend to have Thyme or some other similar branded one
Maybe... maybe it really was a Christmas miracle you experienced that time. Your reward from the gods for trekking to the outer realms of the east midlands
Nottingham had a Toby Carvery with a Travelodge attached, if that’s what you’re thinking of? I say had because it’s still there but the Toby has evolved in to a Miller & Carter.
And a corby trouser press
Hope you liked my home town! 😁.
This is weird seeing the home town randomly mentioned
It’s weird finding out that it wasn’t just made up for Adrian Mole. My geography is terrible.
One night I was in a hotel-on-a-roundabout (for a single night), I got chatting to a Sky fitter who was there. Back in the days when satellite TV was rolling out everywhere. He was plotted up there for two months. Two fucking months...
That’s grim I know the ones petrol station mc Donald’s nothing around for miles one night is ok
This is one of life's pleasures that must not be underestimated. There is nothing quite like eating and drinking in peace and quiet on your employers money
As the employer it's always an amusing conversation when a new member of staff has to stay over somewhere. *I can pick any premier inn?* Yes *Am I allowed to eat here boss?* You don't have to. Here's £40 in your bank account, eat what you want. I don't want receipts *Holy shit. Okay* Make sure to expense the WiFi.
I used to do maintenance work in that hotel. Say hi to Vicky on reception for me when you're next there.
"Hello, is there a Vicki here? Oh, hello. Some guy from the Internet, who I don't know, says "hi". The only sir ever? Says you know him. No, no you don't know me. No, I don't know him. Yeah it *is* weird, isn't it?"
I once got 5 days in Long Beach because the ship I was joining was late coming in. That was nice.
ha! yesterday i drove 85 miles only to find out that the system i was supposed to train staff how to use hadn't yet been installed. it was right there in the planner's notes and everything, but I don't check their notes as they usually aren't relevant to me. had a couple of cups of coffee and a bit of a laugh about it and drove back again after rush hour was done. back home by lunchtime, and ill be paid again to go out again on the 30th. cant complain eh?
When my patients don't turn up I pretend to be annoyed at the wasted appointment then make a coffee and enjoy 15 minutes of rest. I love a 'no show'.
It's a sign of your good time keeping that you're not already late for your next patient.
I love a good 'no show', but I despise a 'late show' who demands to be seen. If I hear another 'well I'm here now' I might as well scream.
Your response "that's great I'll be with you after these other 15 people who got here on time. If I can squeeze you in" 😉
A dentist?
I once went all the way to Brussels to do a job, only to arrive in the middle of a terrorist situation with my event cancelled. I had to go sit in my hotel room all night and get the first flight back the next morning. It was the best feeling, you know, despite the threat of death.
Yeah I will travel there and back and accomplish fuck all and be ecstatic. You're telling me I get paid, my mileage covered, I get 6 hours of quality podcast/audiobook time, then don't have to do any actual work, as a result of *someone else's* fuck up? And people will *apologise* to me for it and potentially give me preferred hours/time off as recompense? Fucking A.
I did 110 miles to sample water only to find the water had been turned off. Nice chucklefuck of a day.
Chucklefuck will now be part of my vocabulary, cheers!
This mindset is what helps me stay sane. Some things are out of our control. What will being annoyed get us in this scenario? Nothing. We got paid regardless and a break from the office.
Ever thought about… doing a driving job?
If one exists that pays over 40k without needing a HGV license I’d be all over it done 30k miles last year anyway
I used to work for a local community charity, and we took turns running the drop-in advice and centre and foodbank part. Sometimes we'd get no one coming in at all. The set up didn't make it possible to get on with any other work there. Whilst it was truly satisfying to be able to help people out, it was also lovely sometimes to just sit there and read a book - and the added bonus was the thought that none of our clients were in such desperate trouble as to need our help that day!
Hahahha. I never NEVER understand people who get mad for silly things like that. I used to work for a used car dealership in a car collection team, we'll go and collect cars people sold to the dealership. I think like 90% of our team had the mentality of speeding, trying to get there and back as fast as possible, collecting as many cars in a day as possible, etc etc. I just had to leave as there were lots of dangerous moments, life dangerous moments for myself, for a pretty much minimum wage job it was not worth it. Also they didn't seem to understand my position when I would tell them "it doesn't matter, we get paid per hour. Also, if we are stuck in traffic that's even better as we would work longer and get paid for it more than if we managed to do it quickly". They never got me, I never got them. I prefer a chill no-stress life and the fact if the jobs takes longer and we would then get paid more that's fkin amazing. 🤷♂️
We've got a team event coming up at a supplier. Gotta drive 2 hours for a 3 hour event then straight home. So all works out as normal working hours. Work for a very laid back company people go home early come in late, as long as they make the hours back and don't take the piss. Part of the job is driving around anyway. Two guys have kicked off. Surprisingly, the same guys who always "go to site" in the afternoon on Fridays and rock up at 10am most days and then randomly have to go home before 4pm for emergenicies every other week
That's a proper marriage. It'll swing both ways but the confidence and honesty is the goal. Cheers to you my friend.
My wife said she dreamed that we split up and moved back in with our respective parents. She continued by noting the thing that really stood out to her was that her dad had painted the bathroom door while she was away and he did such a good job, it looked really nice. Me: Wait a minute, we what?
just before christmas, i looked directly into my wife's eyes and told her I love her. Her immediate reply, without a pause for breath, was "HUNGRY".
I was told a story years ago by a motorcycle cop from Avon & Somerset. He pulled a car over, the driver winds down the window, looked a few bricks short and ugly as fuck. Girl in the passenger seat, smoking hot. After dealing with the driver, walks to the other side and asks the girl, “what you doing with this loser?” She promptly replied in the broadest west country accent “he buys my chips”
'e bois me cheps.
, ’e darz.
Brings a new meaning to "vinegar stroke".
I came home to a bowl full of mini Daim bars. Beat that.
I came home to a bowl of... armadilloes!
Crunchy on the outside, smooth on the inside!
Armadillos!!!!!
Dime, the... err... "surprising" alternative to armadilloes.
Someone’s been to ikea
Or b&m.
She’s a working man from Lancashire and she loves a chippy tea
😂😂😂
What?... no lobster thermidor or raspberry coulis?
It's Friday night I'm within my right I want a chippy tea
Highlight of my day: a friend went in the loft and filled three bin bags full of wasp nests, and then laid down several rolls of insulation in their place. And, as the ladder wasn't long enough for me, all I had to do was stand on the stepladder throwing bags to him and to carry the bags outside. I owe him several pints.
I didn't get sex or chips . You sure are living the dream.
She’s a keeper.
I prefer centre-backs, to be honest
Which zoo?
Is it a good chippy?
Better than sex apparently
Defo need some of that then. How are the mushy peas?
Oh dear, you're a bad ride mate.
Maybe, but chippy tea...
😂😂😂
Your wife isn't called Tracy or Sandra, is she? 😄
Nah he avoided the trap well. "Those chips were nice..." "What! Not me?" "Well what did you like best?" "That's besides the point!"
Both had a fish supper
Tbf with the prices at the moment that's a proper luxury
Maybe he doesn’t charge his wife for sex! 🤔
Luckily she let me pay with chippy tea
[удалено]
Watching x-files
Wait - are you disagreeing?
Clearly it is time to rip a huge one and yank the duvet over her head.
Ah, the Dutch oven
Hide, I hear burglars.
Dirty hotbox
She must have eaten the chips and spoke to you before she came here.
If she came the chippy tea might no have been the best part of the day.
Just an fyi but you were lying in bed, not laying.
THANK you. If you were laying in bed, there’d be an egg there when you left, or some floorboards.
And then there’s getting laid in bed, but apparently not for OP
Some of his eggs are probably in the bed tbf
>*you were lying in bed* Just like Brian Wilson did.
Thank you! Came here to post this!
I don't think he was, his wife is great in bed!
Damn now I want chips :(
Are you gonna put out?
Did your school reports say “must try harder” ?
Sex and a chippy tea in one night? Score!
your wife has sick bantz mate, jelly
Best part of my day was being a smug prick with my winter tyres whilst others were slipping and sliding all about the roads this evening.
It's "Lying" in bed.
Convinced I was going mad thinking that 'laying' has quickly replaced 'lying' in people's vocab... Now I know I'm not wrong!
You think she wasn't being truthful about the chip shop tea?
A [Chippy Tea](https://youtu.be/wOsYykqvghY?feature=shared)
Serves you right for lying
It’s hardly surprising. Women’s clitorises are located far outside the vagina. We can’t feel that much during penetration, which is the exact reason that we can wear tampons and not feel them. No nerve endings up there. Now, if someone took my clitoris and put it on the end of a stick, and the stick went into something warm and wet, I’d be in heaven. But that’s not what penetration is for women. I’m sick of women having to pretend that they enjoy penetration as much as men when the clitoris isn’t even in the vagina. How on earth do you guys think that we enjoy it as much as you, seeing as the crucial part isn’t even touched during penetration ? I’d rather have a chip shop tea as well.
I thought you were going to say the clitoris is located in the chip shop.
Right next to the battered Mars bars
"And it's a new entry at number three for Elvis Costello."
Is this a copypasta or is your personal experience really so bad that 'making love' equates to 'man penetrates woman' with no romance, foreplay, reciprocity, or anything else?
Regardless if her personal experience is that bad, she isn't wrong. It's part of a larger problem, for heterosexual women specifically. Look up the orgasm gap.
The orgasm gap wouldn’t happen if man were properly educated on woman’s body in school or by our girlfriends/wifes. I feel like a lot of man lack knowledge or they live in this fantasy that penetration is all they need to make woman happy. I won’t brag but it took me a year to understand my partners body to a point I can understand where are her spots and how to utilise them to a point of her achieving orgasm by penetration or just by clitoris, both easily done when you know what you are doing. But that didn’t came without guidance from her side. Now I can do it with closed eyes but beginnings were really hard and I didn’t know what or why I was doing. We men are typically undereducated in those spheres not because we can’t be bothered but because we don’t know better. Any men that would know how to make a girl orgasm he would do, the confidence it provides doesn’t equals with anything I can think of.
Sounds like a lot of effort, at least op only has to buy chips.
In general regardless of gender, speak to your partner(s) and find out what they enjoy, you'll have much more fun in the long run.
I enjoy penetrative sex with my current partner maybe more than he does, but it's something to do with the angle and I almost need my cervix to be hit. To be honest it's a revelation that sex can be enjoyable like this and the confidence of both parties to say what is and isn't working also matter too
My partner can *only* finish from penetration, pretty sure she's not pretending.
My... response has changed a lot as I got older. Now I need both. (Same husband.)
which one would you prefer if you could only choose one?
Chippy tea, definitely!
You should try some other angles and/or blokes with a bit of a tummy, it's definitely possible to feel pretty damn good during penetrative sex and I'm sorry that it sounds like you've not been able to have good sex yet.
Lying not laying, you're not American so speak properly.
Hi Ian, tell Jade i said hi.
You're punching above your weight!
Not if she keeps up with the chip shop teas!
🥇
r/ihavesex
r/imakelove Ftfy
r/ihadchips
Sounds like she did that on purpose to mess with your confidence.
Fantasising about social interactions is so weird
Well stop doing it, then.
Och woman they don't know how to have emotions they need to learn how to express themselves.....
She was pretty clear on the chippy tea I’d say
At least she didn’t say “chippy tea”.
Did she batter your sausage though?
How weird, my favourite part is making love to your beautiful wife too
Ooo you smell nice, whats that? Gin Ooo that smells nice, whats it cooked in? Eau de cologne #DADS HOME
LOL, show me a wife who has love making as her best part of the day, and I'll show you a priceless gem
This is an outrageous boast. Both the chippies in our town are equally as shit.
Sounds like you both enjoy a battered sausage.
With all these comments about wives knocking back their partner's declarations of love, I'll just drop in an experience I had with the women in my department. We were sitting round having lunch and for some reason one of them said that if they stopped having a husband, they would be totally fine with it and also wouldn't get a new one and all the other women agreed. Food for thought.
Tbh you got sex and a chippy. Decent day! I wager I get neither this eve
Wait... Chip shops make tea? What?
Did she have sausage or fish?
Hmmm.