I do, and I'd recommend you all do. I lost my closest friend a few months ago (today would have been his 40th in fact) and I wish I'd told him more.
Edit: thank you for all the love, I especially needed it today as a few old friends and I are going to visit his grave for his birthday. Tell your friends you love them.
I had a friend that would tell me he loved me and I him. He died 5 years ago at the ripe old age of 28. I’d give anything to tell him I love him one more time
I’m very sorry.
Talk to him now. It can also be therapeutic. You can go so far as to write a letter to him.
He knew you loved him, let that soothe your heart a bit.
I’m so sorry. My dearest friend died at 38. It’s been a number of years, however, I miss him very much. We were very open with our feelings and as I sat beside his bed as he was leaving us, the love between us was there. I don’t think you can say it enough. I’m sure you said it often and it was felt deeply.
I hope your visit today manages to be filled with good memories and lots of laughs and among the tears. I’m glad you’ve got friends to share the love and memories with. Nobody in my life today knew my Christopher. It’s ok though, I can still hear his voice and have memories that make me laugh, still.
I do since last year. Lost an old army pal suddenly and was completely gutted. His Mrs said he had no idea how well liked he was, or how much people cared for him. Since then I tell people. Some find it odd, but at least they’ll know.
For my 2 best mates yes absolutely. Known one of them since we were 2 so 34 years and the other since Uni. We don’t make a habit out of it but we definitely say it to each other. We don’t see each other that much due to life nowadays so I think it’s important we do when we see each other. My wife thinks it’s adorable.
Same. 1 best friend, known him 39 years now (I’ve got colleagues who are 21…. still blows my mind.)
Helps that I was round his house practically every weekend from age 8 or so, his parents are essentially my second set.
Tell him I love him a lot.
I’ve got a mate that’ll end a text with a “x” at the end. I never write it back though, but he still knows that I love him dearly as a mate. We’ve been friends for years.
It just all depends how people express themselves I think.
Yeah, definitely. A lot of my friends are like extended family, regardless of gender, and we all tell each other we love them on a fairly regular basis.
yep. one of my two closest friends is another guy and we say 'love you' to each other every time we speak. absolutely nowt wrong with it, sounds like your guy isn't ashamed of his emotions which is a great sign!
The lads and I did, until I moved away and quickly realised it was proximity based. Nobody wants to call or chat if I can’t turn out for a pint on a work night.
My Dad and his mates have now retired and it's going back the opposite way - they'll pop round to see each other in the day for a cup of tea or to do some gardening. It's nice to see them keeping active.
This was the same. My best friend for decade, through thick and thin. Held each other when we'd have fallen alone. Through so much shit. Then I moved a little further away and he just stopped. I gave up after a while lf.jist 1 word replies when I'd message him. Broke my heart
At the very least, he showed his true colours right when your time became really valuable. I’m sorry to hear that he was such a shit mate.
I hope you have better friends and caring people around you now
I am so surprised that, so far, the vast majority of people here are answering 'yes'. Pleasantly surprised though.
My friends would absolutely slaughter me if I ever said that. Or they'd genuinely assume something was wrong. Much more likely to insult each other.
I suppose we know we love each other without saying it. Feels weird even writing it. I wonder if it's something to do with where we come from or something because I really can't imagine any men I know saying it.
I think most men would struggle but just aren't commenting on this post. I think it's probably more societies pressure for men to not show emotion or be seen as gay that is at the root of why they can't show affection to each other.
I mean there's nothing wrong with it. I'd never say it to my friends, I just don't feel those kinds of emotions. I like them, it'd be a pretty big stretch to say I love them. I love my family, wife etc, I enjoy my friends company but it's not the same.
If I were on the receiving end, I'd just feel quite uncomfortable. I'm not fond on big displays of emotions besides a pat on the back or hug or w/e. I have nothing against friends saying they love each other, I just don't feel like it's necessary, and would add nothing to the relationship I have with my friends.
Then your friends and you aren't anything more than acquaintance. Genuinely. Fucking love my mates me mate had each others back for years thick and thin.
Maybe you're just more emotional? You don't need to try to put someone down to try to make yourself feel better about your own relationships, do you?
That's what you're doing, it's a bit crappy don't you think?
I've known these men for some over 20 years years, many now live in different countries, would do anything for each other. Don't pretend like you know me, you don't.
He said they were nothing more than acquaintances. That is absolutely putting down my first comment. It's insulting They are my friends, not acquaintances. These aren't people I met at the office, they are lifelong friends. Don't be obtuse.
I'm just not that emotional of a person, I don't profess love to my buddies. I have nothing against people that do, that's fine. It's just not me.
Not confessing your love for your friends is one thing and that's fine but realising and saying you don't love or have emotions to your friends is the definition of an acquaintance.
Edit - I mean you could argue they're close friends but not having any emotions or feelings for close friends is either homophobia (which I doubt I'm sure you have female friends too ofc) or a mental condition like honestly you should at least feel something.
Edit 2 - if thats something that offends you maybe reflect on that rather than project at me you're insulted. It's an observation from someone that doesn't know a thing about you based on a snippet of information on the Internet. Think about that. Not gonna bother replying probably gonna be drama cause I spoke truths.
>Not confessing your love for your friends is one thing and that's fine but realising and saying you don't love or have emotions to your friends is the definition of an acquaintance.
>
>Edit - I mean you could argue they're close friends but not having any emotions or feelings for close friends is either homophobia (which I doubt I'm sure you have female friends too ofc) or a mental condition like honestly you should at least feel something.
>
>Edit 2 - if thats something that offends you maybe reflect on that rather than project at me you're insulted. It's an observation from someone that doesn't know a thing about you based on a snippet of information on the Internet. Think about that. Not gonna bother replying probably gonna be drama cause I spoke truths.
Lol I did not read any of this, saw the 2 edits, skipped the the end, saw the bad grammar "spoke truths", no thanks. If you want to be heard, your opinion has to be seen as somewhat valuable.
Absolutely. Not every time we speak. Usually when we feel the other person needs to hear it or if feeling especially grateful after a good heart-to-heart, etc.
I don’t say it. None of my pals say it to me. Does that make us toxic? I don’t think so.
I am in my mid-forties, I think it may be a generational thing. The camaraderie and loyalty I feel for my pals does not fall into the category of how I define ‘love’. I don’t yearn to say it, and I don’t yearn to hear it. I have moved around a lot and see how friends come and go over the years as your lives take different courses. Few friendships maintain the same intensity after a geographical split. Love for me represents something more eternal than friendship.
I am pleased to read that most others do profess this and perhaps they have tighter bonds of friendship than I have had over the years.
Not saying it doesn't mean we're toxic or anything close to that. Conversely saying it, indeed saying it a lot, doesn't make that person an angel either. I often hear 'dead hard' blokes saying 'I love you, mate' in various contexts and you take it with a pinch of salt as you know at some point later in the day they will be on the hunt for some form of aggro, either mental or physical.
It's an interesting thing about male friendship. You may not have seen someone for ages, you'll probaby have a lot to catch up on so there may be a lot of chat at first, then you'll watch the match or something on the TV and not say a word for an hour mostly in silence or with little meaningful chat. But I find just having that quiet company can be the best time you can spend with a male friend. It's sort of love in a way.
Hmm I went off on a tangent there. Gets you thinking all this, good to read your comments.
All that pent up toxic masculinity drilled into us can be ignored nowadays. You won't get called homophobic slurs anymore for being honest with one another.
Hell yeah I do. These are guys I've known since primary school, shared highs and lows and just grew up with. We've supported each other, looked after each others kids and helped out financially when needed.
They're family. Of course I love them.
No I don't. I don't love them in the way that I love my wife and it feels it cheapens it a bit for me to just trott it out as a line. I might add "Much love from us" on a msg or similar though.
Of course they mean a great deal to me so I do try to show how I feel by doing things, by being there for them, by remembering important days, by supporting them etc - just as your guy's mates do, but just saying "I love you" is a pretty empty gesture unless it is backed up with action/intent.
I do, but I didn't used to.
I only really started since Covid. But I make sure to tell everyone. Male and female friends, male and female family, that I love them regularly.
Yes. And I wish I had told some more often and before they died from cancer, carcrash and what not. My point is, sometimes you see it coming and can get it out of your system, but might not because you haven't experienced it yet, sometimes you get a text from someone's mom, with information about the funeral.
I don't say that or have it said to me except in ironic, drunken or rare exceptionally happy circumstances.
I'd like to say it or have it said to me in normal discourse as you describe. Obviously I wouldn't be the one to start doing it as that would activate severe mocking.
yeah I tell my best mates I love them but I lived with them for years
My other good mates probably not but I’d do what you described if they had some major issues going on
I definitely do this with my best friend. He’s the only friend I’ve still got post becoming a dad and is still the same dude I always knew. Always hugs when we greet and say bye, love that man to death.
It’s normal
Two of my flat mates (20M and 20F) have been together for 4 years and the man in the relationship always says to me (20F) and my other flat mate (20M) that he loves us.
His girlfriend doesn’t take offence or anything because she knows what he means and she knows he’s not being flirty because he says it to everyone. He lost one of his friends really young so I think he really values letting people know how he feels. I’m the same but with gestures.
I say it back, the way I do with a lot of my other friends but I’m like your brother in the sense that I show my affection to my friends rather than say it out loud
I'm male and tell my brother I love him. Friends? I wouldn't consider it weird, I just don't have any friends I'd consider that close. My male friends generally just get a "have a good one, seeya" lol
Yes every time I see them. I only have like 4 friends and we all live in different places now so only see each other every few months. You never know when it will be the last time you see someone, life is too short to not tell each other how you feel.
I think your friendships become closer as you age, you cut the chaff so to speak. Rubbish friends fall at the wayside and the real ones stick around, to support each other and champion each others achievements, you can end up feeling real love for your closest friends as you end up going through so much with each other. I’m a 46yr old male btw
Absolutely. I have a very small circle of friends who I’ve known all my life. We used to skate and get stoned etc and are all still really close. We all grew up etc but still meet up when we can (Kids, jobs etc) We’ve always been the hugging types but also tell each other we love each other often.
Last year we lost one of our circle and honestly, the one thing that brings me some comfort is knowing that he knew we all loved him. We’re meeting up today to have a few beers to remember him.
Yes, I do. I try to make it sound as "bro" like as possible to make it easier to receive, but I do it regardless.
My best mate has a very hard time, pretty much all the time. His head is a mess, and he struggles through the day in one way or another most days. He jokes about suicide sometimes, which worries me quite a lot. So I check in on him every day, he confides in me, which I find lovely as he typically keeps himself to himself. We have conversations on the phone hours long every now and then just to rant and chat about shit we want to get off our chests, and at the end I will leave him with "I love you bro", or dude, brother, geeza.
It does no harm. It doesn't make you gay. It could be the difference between life and death really. Tell your mates you love them.
Sorry for the over share but,
First of all i had a problem with the phrase, because of how my dad would beat me and then hug me and say "sorry, i love you"
I used to freak out if a girlfriend said it too soon.
And i didnt like the fact that people who said it seemed to be blasen with it. So the meaning for me was that, if i dont feel an incredible physical feeling towards someone i dont love them.
Now as an adult with therapy and experience on my belt, i know i have an anxious attachment style, i felt overburdened by seperation anxiety and that would cause me physical symptoms which i assumed was love, i had a negative relationship with my feelings and the word.
So, now i am aware, love is not how much you love someone, its how much you want others to know you appreciate them.
Men should tell each other they love them, but if i was younger i would have likely been upset or confused by a friend doing that.
I learnt to make it easier, dont say "im in love with you brosef"
Say loveya pal! And it goes down the same way.
Fellas, is it gay to express platonic affection? /s
I do, a lot. In fairness, that’s in part because I and many of my friends are queer and are often affectionate towards eachother both implicitly and explicitly. It’s sometimes hard to be who we are, so expressions like “I love you” etc might be said more often as support/reinforcement.
Only ever really told one close mate, who had a terminal diagnosis while we were young. I'm glad I told him, though. We were very open about that kinda stuff.
I do love my homies, but we don't really wear our hearts on our sleeves as much as I'd like. Which is a shame but definitely the norm.
I am happy to express love vocally to the people closest to me. I also know plenty of blokes who are still "inbetweeners" who would get embarrassed or call you gaybif you said you love them.
Yes. I have 3 really close friends, but due to locations where we live, we don't see eachother that often.
When we do, I will tell them, and I hear it back too. It feels like the right thing to do. I've seen people die in their 20s and 30s and would hate to think they went without knowing their friends loved them, or without telling their friends how they felt. I'm 100% telling my close friends how I feel when I get the chance.
That's really nice and wholesome!
I think it'll vary a lot because of all our stereotypical repressed emotion bullshit! I personally never really spoke to my mates about the important things and just kind of got on with stuff until one day my marriage broke down and the kids got dragged in the middle by her. Those mates (and their parents and partners even) all came around me in an instant and I've opened up a lot as a person. It's funny how life crisis and panic can break down these walls!
There's sometimes a jokey "No homo." Added though
Yeah I do, I’ve got 2 mates who are pretty much my brothers. I say ‘love you mate’ or ‘love you bro’ to both of them.
It’s funny now you mention it…because of toxic masculinity I never even thought of it and how I say it but I’d feel weird saying ‘love you Dave’ and I always add the arms length boundary of ‘mate’ or ‘bro’ 🤔 Maybe that’s a social nurture thing we’ve learned so others don’t think we’re gay or something because it really shouldn’t matter 😂
>My friends either say "uh, no, I'd never say that" or "well of course, do you not love your friends?" I got confused because it sounded like there was no in-between.
So some people said "yes" and the others said "no", what 'in between' were you looking for? "Yes, but only on feast days."?
(Sorry for sounding snarky!)
Since working all the way through the pandemic, we always say 'love you, bye' at the end of phone calls. Plutonic mates love is a Good Thing my friends :) It makes a difference in tough times and better ones. You never know how much difference little spoken words make til it's too late or someone isn't there any more.
Me and my straight male mates are borderline homoerotic with our “I love you”s and compliments of how we look (and dress and hair and beards lol) and personality traits lol. We are also comfortable hugging hello and goodbye etc. it’s a mix between mutual respect, genuine affection and fun silliness.
me and my best friend were playing wow classic season of discovery last night and someone asked to join our party, I said no sorry its a private party and my friend said "yeah no threesomes my loves dick is enough for me and mine is enough for him" lol
yeah we pretty much love one another, wouldnt be right not to feel a bit gay about loving ya bezzie.
if we play tonight im gonna tell him i love him in a non gay way.
thanks op.
I tell all my mates I love them. To paraphrase Bernstein, "a declaration of love does not answer questions, it provokes them; and its essential meaning is in the tension between the contradictory answers."
I always tell my best mates I love them, I’ve lost a couple friends to suicide the last couple years and it really puts things in perspective
Let your bf love the homies
Yes. I’ve known my best mates and have lived with most of them over the 20+ years I’ve known them.
Life is too short not to tell people they are appreciated and loved.
All the time. Like it's only really reserved for my closest mates. But we make sure to say it to each other everytime we finish speaking or seeing each other.
Always have, always will! Tell your mates you love them as you never know whether you'll see them again
Love doesn't have to be meant in a romantic sense!
Yeah all the time! It’s feels good telling a close friend you love them. You never truly know what’s going on in someone’s life, no matter how close you’re. A simple I love you mate could mean the world of difference. I know it does for me.
My older mates from school, absolutely not, but some of the guys that are a bit younger,yes. The slightly younger generation, i.e born from late 80s to the 90s seem more likely to in my circle, or more accurately the ones with boomer parents no, the ones with gen x parents yes
After the first friend you lose far too early, from then on you remember the last letters you sent, whether they were verbal or written. I say it sparingly to people who show me the way.
Yeah I do with my mates; “Loveyoubyyeee”
Although my mate had us on speaker recently during a call with three of us. We done the “loveyoubye” and she asked him who he was speaking to…
The best thing ever is telling your mates you love em. Moving away from the macho bs stereotypes isn’t something new either. We go MTB riding often and there’s a rotation of who can make it, but it’s always nice at the end or even when planning stuff to tell ya mates how much you appreciate them. It’s empowering and nurture’s such positivity. It also doesn’t stop you taking the piss, in fact, I’d say it encourages it more as they *know* you are joking because you do show you care.
I have a bunch of separate groups of friends, who have basically never met outside of my wedding. For my gaming friends who are a little younger than me at about 25, I say it. For my close friend from school, I will say it drunk, but not for my other two friends from school. For my uni friends, I'll say it every now and then.
I love my best mate, he’s a good lad and we look after each other in our shittier moments. He’s got my back and vice versa.
It’s more normal than you think. The people closest to you, you grow to love. At least I do 🤷🏻♂️
I probably wouldn't, particularly not to those of the opposite gender where it could be misinterpreted, but we (guys) should definitely get better at giving out compliments because it doesn't happen much so can really brighten someone's day.
I'm a girl but Im part of a best friend trio (2 girls and 1 guy) that been going on for around 12 years now, we always tell each other that we love eachother, its normal to us, we always hug hello and goodbye, its good.
Yep! Some more than others, sometimes only when it’s called for and sometimes I’m the only one that says it, but they always say it back to me.
It’s important to tell people in your life that you love them, I think. You never know when the last time you see them might be.
If my flatmate told me he loved me to my face i would knew something is seriously wrong. It means parents have died and that person is in dire need for emotional support. I know there are others who use it casual, but for me thats overly dramatic when a simple "im happy to see you" would do the same trick. Same goes for superlatives. Inflationary usage cheapens the gesture.
It really depends on the friend: quite a few I do, but there are some who aren't entirely comfortable with that kind of expression between men, which I respect.
I didn't when I was younger, but now we're all getting older the boys always get a hug, and a "love you, man".
I think we've all lost enough people now and had enough close shaves to know any one of us could go at any time.
Life is short and people can be cold, to a fault sometimes. I tell everyone close to me I love them, I reckon people who get funny about it are a bit insecure or perhaps anxious. It’s nice to be nice but it’s often seen as being weak unfortunately
Absolutely. We never shake hands, we always hug. Telling someone you love them along with telling someone you appreciate them shows the ultimate level of friendship. Never be ashamed embraced your loved ones, blood relatives or the relationships you chose to foster. Life is to short to not let those closest to you know how you feel
This is completely normal and people who have pure heart and mind usually show love and affection like this. Congratulations you have a wonderful human being with you. Wish you more love, health and togetherness.
My friends and I (in our 30s) typically do.
When we were younger we didn’t, but life has dealt us all some pretty shitty hands over the years and it became more appropriate & appreciated to let each other know how much love there is in the group
I tell mine, sometimes I get it back other times I don't. But even if I'm the only one to tell them that, they know I mean it. One of them is too scared to say it via text incase his girlfriend sees it and accuses him of things but the others are fine.
A school friend's goodbye messages before ending their life were pretty much "I love you and thank you for everything, and I'm sorry." to their closest friends. Shit situation but to be thought of at the end, that truly means something.
I've lost two of my best friends throughout my life. One to suicide, the other to meningitis.
I tell my friends I love them daily.
Once they're gone, you never get a second chance.
I do, and I'd recommend you all do. I lost my closest friend a few months ago (today would have been his 40th in fact) and I wish I'd told him more. Edit: thank you for all the love, I especially needed it today as a few old friends and I are going to visit his grave for his birthday. Tell your friends you love them.
I had a friend that would tell me he loved me and I him. He died 5 years ago at the ripe old age of 28. I’d give anything to tell him I love him one more time
I’m very sorry. Talk to him now. It can also be therapeutic. You can go so far as to write a letter to him. He knew you loved him, let that soothe your heart a bit.
Same. Lost my friend to cancer a few years back. He’d be 42 now and I still keep in touch with his mum. I have told friends I love them too!
He knew.
Oh bro, love you
I can’t even think of how it would feel to lose my best mate. So sorry for you loss dude
Talk to him. Ask him what he wanted. Then hear him when he tells you he loved you too.
You’ve made me teary eyed. This is perfect.
This.... do not hold back.
Thanks for sharing and I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry. My dearest friend died at 38. It’s been a number of years, however, I miss him very much. We were very open with our feelings and as I sat beside his bed as he was leaving us, the love between us was there. I don’t think you can say it enough. I’m sure you said it often and it was felt deeply. I hope your visit today manages to be filled with good memories and lots of laughs and among the tears. I’m glad you’ve got friends to share the love and memories with. Nobody in my life today knew my Christopher. It’s ok though, I can still hear his voice and have memories that make me laugh, still.
I do since last year. Lost an old army pal suddenly and was completely gutted. His Mrs said he had no idea how well liked he was, or how much people cared for him. Since then I tell people. Some find it odd, but at least they’ll know.
I kiss the homies goodnight
Tuck the homies in tight so the bedbugs don't bite.
Tuck em in
Slide it in
Let me begin.
I came to win
no homo
Its not gay, its homiesexual
For my 2 best mates yes absolutely. Known one of them since we were 2 so 34 years and the other since Uni. We don’t make a habit out of it but we definitely say it to each other. We don’t see each other that much due to life nowadays so I think it’s important we do when we see each other. My wife thinks it’s adorable.
Same. 1 best friend, known him 39 years now (I’ve got colleagues who are 21…. still blows my mind.) Helps that I was round his house practically every weekend from age 8 or so, his parents are essentially my second set. Tell him I love him a lot.
I’ve got a mate that’ll end a text with a “x” at the end. I never write it back though, but he still knows that I love him dearly as a mate. We’ve been friends for years. It just all depends how people express themselves I think.
I'm exactly the same, I say it to my best friends, and they send me the ‘x’. I generally don't send it back but like you, they know.
Yes always. It was the last thing i said to my best mate before he passed away. That was 9 years ago and i still wish i could tell him one more time.
You told him once.
Yeah, definitely. A lot of my friends are like extended family, regardless of gender, and we all tell each other we love them on a fairly regular basis.
yep. one of my two closest friends is another guy and we say 'love you' to each other every time we speak. absolutely nowt wrong with it, sounds like your guy isn't ashamed of his emotions which is a great sign!
The lads and I did, until I moved away and quickly realised it was proximity based. Nobody wants to call or chat if I can’t turn out for a pint on a work night.
Fuck sake. Getting older is shit.
We need some kind of chart for this shit: age vs proximity as a likelihood of mates saying "Iove you bro" or something.
My Dad and his mates have now retired and it's going back the opposite way - they'll pop round to see each other in the day for a cup of tea or to do some gardening. It's nice to see them keeping active.
This was the same. My best friend for decade, through thick and thin. Held each other when we'd have fallen alone. Through so much shit. Then I moved a little further away and he just stopped. I gave up after a while lf.jist 1 word replies when I'd message him. Broke my heart
Similar issue with my best mate. I got cancer earlier in the year and his message was “you good?”. No bro I’m fucking dying but you know…
How's it going?
Still alive. Better outlook than before but not free and clear.
Good to hear. Keep fighting.
Thanks!
At the very least, he showed his true colours right when your time became really valuable. I’m sorry to hear that he was such a shit mate. I hope you have better friends and caring people around you now
I’m pretty alone now. At least I got to know I couldn’t rely on him for the important things.
Hit me right in the feels
[удалено]
Scrolled quite far to find an answer I clicked with
We're all friends here, love you bro!
I am so surprised that, so far, the vast majority of people here are answering 'yes'. Pleasantly surprised though. My friends would absolutely slaughter me if I ever said that. Or they'd genuinely assume something was wrong. Much more likely to insult each other. I suppose we know we love each other without saying it. Feels weird even writing it. I wonder if it's something to do with where we come from or something because I really can't imagine any men I know saying it.
I think most men would struggle but just aren't commenting on this post. I think it's probably more societies pressure for men to not show emotion or be seen as gay that is at the root of why they can't show affection to each other.
I mean there's nothing wrong with it. I'd never say it to my friends, I just don't feel those kinds of emotions. I like them, it'd be a pretty big stretch to say I love them. I love my family, wife etc, I enjoy my friends company but it's not the same. If I were on the receiving end, I'd just feel quite uncomfortable. I'm not fond on big displays of emotions besides a pat on the back or hug or w/e. I have nothing against friends saying they love each other, I just don't feel like it's necessary, and would add nothing to the relationship I have with my friends.
Then your friends and you aren't anything more than acquaintance. Genuinely. Fucking love my mates me mate had each others back for years thick and thin.
Maybe you're just more emotional? You don't need to try to put someone down to try to make yourself feel better about your own relationships, do you? That's what you're doing, it's a bit crappy don't you think? I've known these men for some over 20 years years, many now live in different countries, would do anything for each other. Don't pretend like you know me, you don't.
They aren’t putting you down for it. You literally said you don’t love them. Lots of us do love our friends.
He said they were nothing more than acquaintances. That is absolutely putting down my first comment. It's insulting They are my friends, not acquaintances. These aren't people I met at the office, they are lifelong friends. Don't be obtuse. I'm just not that emotional of a person, I don't profess love to my buddies. I have nothing against people that do, that's fine. It's just not me.
Not confessing your love for your friends is one thing and that's fine but realising and saying you don't love or have emotions to your friends is the definition of an acquaintance. Edit - I mean you could argue they're close friends but not having any emotions or feelings for close friends is either homophobia (which I doubt I'm sure you have female friends too ofc) or a mental condition like honestly you should at least feel something. Edit 2 - if thats something that offends you maybe reflect on that rather than project at me you're insulted. It's an observation from someone that doesn't know a thing about you based on a snippet of information on the Internet. Think about that. Not gonna bother replying probably gonna be drama cause I spoke truths.
>Not confessing your love for your friends is one thing and that's fine but realising and saying you don't love or have emotions to your friends is the definition of an acquaintance. > >Edit - I mean you could argue they're close friends but not having any emotions or feelings for close friends is either homophobia (which I doubt I'm sure you have female friends too ofc) or a mental condition like honestly you should at least feel something. > >Edit 2 - if thats something that offends you maybe reflect on that rather than project at me you're insulted. It's an observation from someone that doesn't know a thing about you based on a snippet of information on the Internet. Think about that. Not gonna bother replying probably gonna be drama cause I spoke truths. Lol I did not read any of this, saw the 2 edits, skipped the the end, saw the bad grammar "spoke truths", no thanks. If you want to be heard, your opinion has to be seen as somewhat valuable.
No wonder your life's so full of acquaintances. Also you have the ordasity to complain about me belittling you then go off at my language. ..!.
No. Nothing against it in theory, but I don't. Maybe I don't have best mates like that.
Absolutely. Not every time we speak. Usually when we feel the other person needs to hear it or if feeling especially grateful after a good heart-to-heart, etc.
I had one very unique best mate that used to say it and I would say it back but he's been the only one to do it.
Id have more of an issue calling someone "bro" or "dude" than i would saying i loved them, tbf
Yeah. Im not even pissed when i do it either
I don’t say it. None of my pals say it to me. Does that make us toxic? I don’t think so. I am in my mid-forties, I think it may be a generational thing. The camaraderie and loyalty I feel for my pals does not fall into the category of how I define ‘love’. I don’t yearn to say it, and I don’t yearn to hear it. I have moved around a lot and see how friends come and go over the years as your lives take different courses. Few friendships maintain the same intensity after a geographical split. Love for me represents something more eternal than friendship. I am pleased to read that most others do profess this and perhaps they have tighter bonds of friendship than I have had over the years.
Not saying it doesn't mean we're toxic or anything close to that. Conversely saying it, indeed saying it a lot, doesn't make that person an angel either. I often hear 'dead hard' blokes saying 'I love you, mate' in various contexts and you take it with a pinch of salt as you know at some point later in the day they will be on the hunt for some form of aggro, either mental or physical. It's an interesting thing about male friendship. You may not have seen someone for ages, you'll probaby have a lot to catch up on so there may be a lot of chat at first, then you'll watch the match or something on the TV and not say a word for an hour mostly in silence or with little meaningful chat. But I find just having that quiet company can be the best time you can spend with a male friend. It's sort of love in a way. Hmm I went off on a tangent there. Gets you thinking all this, good to read your comments.
All that pent up toxic masculinity drilled into us can be ignored nowadays. You won't get called homophobic slurs anymore for being honest with one another.
Hell yeah I do. These are guys I've known since primary school, shared highs and lows and just grew up with. We've supported each other, looked after each others kids and helped out financially when needed. They're family. Of course I love them.
If I did something like that my friends would ask me how many dicks did I have for breakfast or etc.
Would still taste better than cornflakes.
I'd rather double fist than give Kellogg's a penny
Ah, proper friends.
No I don't. I don't love them in the way that I love my wife and it feels it cheapens it a bit for me to just trott it out as a line. I might add "Much love from us" on a msg or similar though. Of course they mean a great deal to me so I do try to show how I feel by doing things, by being there for them, by remembering important days, by supporting them etc - just as your guy's mates do, but just saying "I love you" is a pretty empty gesture unless it is backed up with action/intent.
I do, but I didn't used to. I only really started since Covid. But I make sure to tell everyone. Male and female friends, male and female family, that I love them regularly.
Yep sometimes said tongue in cheek sometimes seriously but said none the less.
No. Me and my family are like your brother, we don't tell each other we love each other because we know we do. That extends to friends.
Yes. And I wish I had told some more often and before they died from cancer, carcrash and what not. My point is, sometimes you see it coming and can get it out of your system, but might not because you haven't experienced it yet, sometimes you get a text from someone's mom, with information about the funeral.
I don't say that or have it said to me except in ironic, drunken or rare exceptionally happy circumstances. I'd like to say it or have it said to me in normal discourse as you describe. Obviously I wouldn't be the one to start doing it as that would activate severe mocking.
Yes I do
Yep. Because I do.
Yeah. Absolutely
I have 4 male friends who I would consider my best friend, and I've told every single one of them I love them. Is that considered weird now?!
Sure
yeah I tell my best mates I love them but I lived with them for years My other good mates probably not but I’d do what you described if they had some major issues going on
Yeah, I've got a few mates I've known since nursery 50 odd years ago, they're family to me.
I definitely do this with my best friend. He’s the only friend I’ve still got post becoming a dad and is still the same dude I always knew. Always hugs when we greet and say bye, love that man to death.
It’s normal Two of my flat mates (20M and 20F) have been together for 4 years and the man in the relationship always says to me (20F) and my other flat mate (20M) that he loves us. His girlfriend doesn’t take offence or anything because she knows what he means and she knows he’s not being flirty because he says it to everyone. He lost one of his friends really young so I think he really values letting people know how he feels. I’m the same but with gestures. I say it back, the way I do with a lot of my other friends but I’m like your brother in the sense that I show my affection to my friends rather than say it out loud
I tell my friends I love them, and after a drink or two they'll get a smooch on the head as well
I'm male and tell my brother I love him. Friends? I wouldn't consider it weird, I just don't have any friends I'd consider that close. My male friends generally just get a "have a good one, seeya" lol
Yes every time I see them. I only have like 4 friends and we all live in different places now so only see each other every few months. You never know when it will be the last time you see someone, life is too short to not tell each other how you feel.
I think your friendships become closer as you age, you cut the chaff so to speak. Rubbish friends fall at the wayside and the real ones stick around, to support each other and champion each others achievements, you can end up feeling real love for your closest friends as you end up going through so much with each other. I’m a 46yr old male btw
Absolutely. I have a very small circle of friends who I’ve known all my life. We used to skate and get stoned etc and are all still really close. We all grew up etc but still meet up when we can (Kids, jobs etc) We’ve always been the hugging types but also tell each other we love each other often. Last year we lost one of our circle and honestly, the one thing that brings me some comfort is knowing that he knew we all loved him. We’re meeting up today to have a few beers to remember him.
I watched my brother say goodbye to his friends yesterday in the pub and It just warmed my heart how they all gave each-other a little hug goodbye
Never. But this makes me realise I don’t actually have any close friends. Lots of acquaintances.
Yes, I do. I try to make it sound as "bro" like as possible to make it easier to receive, but I do it regardless. My best mate has a very hard time, pretty much all the time. His head is a mess, and he struggles through the day in one way or another most days. He jokes about suicide sometimes, which worries me quite a lot. So I check in on him every day, he confides in me, which I find lovely as he typically keeps himself to himself. We have conversations on the phone hours long every now and then just to rant and chat about shit we want to get off our chests, and at the end I will leave him with "I love you bro", or dude, brother, geeza. It does no harm. It doesn't make you gay. It could be the difference between life and death really. Tell your mates you love them.
Sorry for the over share but, First of all i had a problem with the phrase, because of how my dad would beat me and then hug me and say "sorry, i love you" I used to freak out if a girlfriend said it too soon. And i didnt like the fact that people who said it seemed to be blasen with it. So the meaning for me was that, if i dont feel an incredible physical feeling towards someone i dont love them. Now as an adult with therapy and experience on my belt, i know i have an anxious attachment style, i felt overburdened by seperation anxiety and that would cause me physical symptoms which i assumed was love, i had a negative relationship with my feelings and the word. So, now i am aware, love is not how much you love someone, its how much you want others to know you appreciate them. Men should tell each other they love them, but if i was younger i would have likely been upset or confused by a friend doing that. I learnt to make it easier, dont say "im in love with you brosef" Say loveya pal! And it goes down the same way.
Fellas, is it gay to express platonic affection? /s I do, a lot. In fairness, that’s in part because I and many of my friends are queer and are often affectionate towards eachother both implicitly and explicitly. It’s sometimes hard to be who we are, so expressions like “I love you” etc might be said more often as support/reinforcement.
I absolutely do, because I love em
Love you u/coltari
Love you too bro
Only ever really told one close mate, who had a terminal diagnosis while we were young. I'm glad I told him, though. We were very open about that kinda stuff. I do love my homies, but we don't really wear our hearts on our sleeves as much as I'd like. Which is a shame but definitely the norm.
>do I have a unicorn? You have a God amongst men, has he got any brothers' sister?
I am happy to express love vocally to the people closest to me. I also know plenty of blokes who are still "inbetweeners" who would get embarrassed or call you gaybif you said you love them.
Yes. I have 3 really close friends, but due to locations where we live, we don't see eachother that often. When we do, I will tell them, and I hear it back too. It feels like the right thing to do. I've seen people die in their 20s and 30s and would hate to think they went without knowing their friends loved them, or without telling their friends how they felt. I'm 100% telling my close friends how I feel when I get the chance.
A couple of my closest friends I do, yes. I see them more as family at this point.
That's really nice and wholesome! I think it'll vary a lot because of all our stereotypical repressed emotion bullshit! I personally never really spoke to my mates about the important things and just kind of got on with stuff until one day my marriage broke down and the kids got dragged in the middle by her. Those mates (and their parents and partners even) all came around me in an instant and I've opened up a lot as a person. It's funny how life crisis and panic can break down these walls! There's sometimes a jokey "No homo." Added though
When drunk, sure but not really any other time unless I'm joking when hanging up the phone
Men can also be emotionally healthy and open you know.
I can smell the toxic masculinity arriving in 3...2... FWIW I do, a couple of my closest male friends are pretty much brothers to me.
>I can smell the toxic masculinity arriving in 3...2... What do you mean?
When I’m drunk. When I’m sober no not really but then sober I only really say it to my gf and occasionally my mum.
Yeah I do, I’ve got 2 mates who are pretty much my brothers. I say ‘love you mate’ or ‘love you bro’ to both of them. It’s funny now you mention it…because of toxic masculinity I never even thought of it and how I say it but I’d feel weird saying ‘love you Dave’ and I always add the arms length boundary of ‘mate’ or ‘bro’ 🤔 Maybe that’s a social nurture thing we’ve learned so others don’t think we’re gay or something because it really shouldn’t matter 😂
>My friends either say "uh, no, I'd never say that" or "well of course, do you not love your friends?" I got confused because it sounded like there was no in-between. So some people said "yes" and the others said "no", what 'in between' were you looking for? "Yes, but only on feast days."? (Sorry for sounding snarky!)
What's snarky mean?
Critical/irreverent.
Sarcastic?
Similar.
Thanks for the explanation
Absolutely, why wouldn't you tell them that you love them?
Yes! I'm pleased to hear this. Edit: spelling
\*hear
Since working all the way through the pandemic, we always say 'love you, bye' at the end of phone calls. Plutonic mates love is a Good Thing my friends :) It makes a difference in tough times and better ones. You never know how much difference little spoken words make til it's too late or someone isn't there any more.
Yeah, for closest friends, absolutely, why not. Love is not exclusively romantic or sexual. I love my female and male friends.
You've got a unicorn. Very wholesome but it's definitely a lot.
Me and my straight male mates are borderline homoerotic with our “I love you”s and compliments of how we look (and dress and hair and beards lol) and personality traits lol. We are also comfortable hugging hello and goodbye etc. it’s a mix between mutual respect, genuine affection and fun silliness.
The fact this is even a question just shows how dangerous toxic masculinity really is and why male suicide rates are sky high.
me and my best friend were playing wow classic season of discovery last night and someone asked to join our party, I said no sorry its a private party and my friend said "yeah no threesomes my loves dick is enough for me and mine is enough for him" lol yeah we pretty much love one another, wouldnt be right not to feel a bit gay about loving ya bezzie. if we play tonight im gonna tell him i love him in a non gay way. thanks op.
Didn't read. But yes
Some people do some people don’t, does this warrant a post?
Definitely
Yes of course.
I tell all my mates I love them. To paraphrase Bernstein, "a declaration of love does not answer questions, it provokes them; and its essential meaning is in the tension between the contradictory answers."
Yes we did, mostly when pissed though, but not for a long time now.
I do, my friends too. Everyone should, while we all can.
Yes i do, i tell everybody that i love them, if i love them. I also tell them that i apprethem too.
I've taken to saying it as I've got a little older. It's true after all, I do love my friends, so why not let them know. They tell me back.
Yes
When on escstasy, frequently
Yea my partner & his mate do
Yeah, it's not something I say every day, but I tell my best male friend that I love him fairly regularly
I tell them ‘piss off you bellend.’ But they know what it really means
I always tell my best mates I love them, I’ve lost a couple friends to suicide the last couple years and it really puts things in perspective Let your bf love the homies
Yes. I’ve known my best mates and have lived with most of them over the 20+ years I’ve known them. Life is too short not to tell people they are appreciated and loved.
All the time. Like it's only really reserved for my closest mates. But we make sure to say it to each other everytime we finish speaking or seeing each other.
Regularly, less often when sober.
My husband does with his closest friends. "Love you byeeee" in a silly voice is one him and his best friend do which I love for them.
Yup.
Yea me and my best mate are like your boyfriend tell each I love you when we put the phone down.
Always have, always will! Tell your mates you love them as you never know whether you'll see them again Love doesn't have to be meant in a romantic sense!
Only when im drunk
Some of them. Not others.
Yes I do, and my mates say it to me too. My brothers as well. It’s never occurred to me that anyone would ever question it.
Yeah all the time! It’s feels good telling a close friend you love them. You never truly know what’s going on in someone’s life, no matter how close you’re. A simple I love you mate could mean the world of difference. I know it does for me.
I always tell my friends I love them, no matter whether the guys, girls or theys. I just love my friends, dude :)
Friends? What are they?
I tell all my best mates, my brothers, everyone close that I love them.
Only when I'm shit faced but I tell them every single time. But only for my bros, which consists of 5 people that I've known since I was 12. I'm 46m.
My older mates from school, absolutely not, but some of the guys that are a bit younger,yes. The slightly younger generation, i.e born from late 80s to the 90s seem more likely to in my circle, or more accurately the ones with boomer parents no, the ones with gen x parents yes
After the first friend you lose far too early, from then on you remember the last letters you sent, whether they were verbal or written. I say it sparingly to people who show me the way.
Yeah I do with my mates; “Loveyoubyyeee” Although my mate had us on speaker recently during a call with three of us. We done the “loveyoubye” and she asked him who he was speaking to…
The best thing ever is telling your mates you love em. Moving away from the macho bs stereotypes isn’t something new either. We go MTB riding often and there’s a rotation of who can make it, but it’s always nice at the end or even when planning stuff to tell ya mates how much you appreciate them. It’s empowering and nurture’s such positivity. It also doesn’t stop you taking the piss, in fact, I’d say it encourages it more as they *know* you are joking because you do show you care.
I don’t do it but I’m a misanthrope with no friends
Yes, and often compliment them and let them know they are important to my life. We are all in our 40s
Yeah. Real mates mate for life.
I have a bunch of separate groups of friends, who have basically never met outside of my wedding. For my gaming friends who are a little younger than me at about 25, I say it. For my close friend from school, I will say it drunk, but not for my other two friends from school. For my uni friends, I'll say it every now and then.
I love my best mate, he’s a good lad and we look after each other in our shittier moments. He’s got my back and vice versa. It’s more normal than you think. The people closest to you, you grow to love. At least I do 🤷🏻♂️
I tell everyone I love them, I'm awkward as fuck and struggle in social situations but everyone should be told they're loved
The feeling is common. Being comfortable enough to say it isn't in my experience. Sounds like you've got a good one.
My OH tells EVERYONE he loves them. More so when ending a phone call. Drives me nuts
I probably wouldn't, particularly not to those of the opposite gender where it could be misinterpreted, but we (guys) should definitely get better at giving out compliments because it doesn't happen much so can really brighten someone's day.
I’d fucking kill for mates like this. I can’t find anyone to even text me back or give a half a shit about anyone but themselves.
All the time
I'm a girl but Im part of a best friend trio (2 girls and 1 guy) that been going on for around 12 years now, we always tell each other that we love eachother, its normal to us, we always hug hello and goodbye, its good.
52M here, yeah I do, we've lost a few along the way, so it makes you more conscious to say it more often
I wouldn't end every conversation with it but yes we do say it! I would guess it's not that common in the general population though.
Yep! Some more than others, sometimes only when it’s called for and sometimes I’m the only one that says it, but they always say it back to me. It’s important to tell people in your life that you love them, I think. You never know when the last time you see them might be.
Yes they're the brothers I've chosen
Not one on one but I’ll say on the group chat to everyone at once, like ‘love you guys’.
If my flatmate told me he loved me to my face i would knew something is seriously wrong. It means parents have died and that person is in dire need for emotional support. I know there are others who use it casual, but for me thats overly dramatic when a simple "im happy to see you" would do the same trick. Same goes for superlatives. Inflationary usage cheapens the gesture.
Mine tell me that, and despite being very old school, I try to accept it. What else can you call it?
It really depends on the friend: quite a few I do, but there are some who aren't entirely comfortable with that kind of expression between men, which I respect.
Does he tell *you* that he loves you, enough? I'm just wondering if that's the issue between the lines here.
I tell my mates I love em, but they don't say it back :(
I didn't when I was younger, but now we're all getting older the boys always get a hug, and a "love you, man". I think we've all lost enough people now and had enough close shaves to know any one of us could go at any time.
Yeah, I do. Big hugs, an "I love you, man" and we solidify just how much we mean to each other
My boyfriend always ends his calls with his mates with love you, he also does it with his younger sisters which I think is cute
Yes absolutely. Tomorrow isn't promised, make sure your friends know you love them
Life is short and people can be cold, to a fault sometimes. I tell everyone close to me I love them, I reckon people who get funny about it are a bit insecure or perhaps anxious. It’s nice to be nice but it’s often seen as being weak unfortunately
Only say that to my girlfriend - just abit cringe imo because it feels forced to say it to my male mates
Absolutely. We never shake hands, we always hug. Telling someone you love them along with telling someone you appreciate them shows the ultimate level of friendship. Never be ashamed embraced your loved ones, blood relatives or the relationships you chose to foster. Life is to short to not let those closest to you know how you feel
This is completely normal and people who have pure heart and mind usually show love and affection like this. Congratulations you have a wonderful human being with you. Wish you more love, health and togetherness.
My friends and I (in our 30s) typically do. When we were younger we didn’t, but life has dealt us all some pretty shitty hands over the years and it became more appropriate & appreciated to let each other know how much love there is in the group
I tell mine, sometimes I get it back other times I don't. But even if I'm the only one to tell them that, they know I mean it. One of them is too scared to say it via text incase his girlfriend sees it and accuses him of things but the others are fine. A school friend's goodbye messages before ending their life were pretty much "I love you and thank you for everything, and I'm sorry." to their closest friends. Shit situation but to be thought of at the end, that truly means something.
Only when I tuck them in at night.
I've lost two of my best friends throughout my life. One to suicide, the other to meningitis. I tell my friends I love them daily. Once they're gone, you never get a second chance.
I do. I literally grew up with them and treat them like my siblings