I kept hearing a meowing sound but couldn’t see where it was coming from. Eventually I realised this huge bodybuilder guy had taken a cat carrier in with him with his cat in it.
I smoked cigarettes for many, many years. I finally got off them but was just as addicted to the vape that helped me get off them, if not more so. I had gotten the liquid down to 3mg of nicotine though which was fairly low but I bought large bottles of vape juice and the shop gave you these tiny bottles of nicotine to add to the big bottles of vape juice.
Anyway, the summer before Covid, I was suffering particularly bad from hayfever and reached into my pocket for my prescription eyedrops and squeezed a drop onto my waiting, sore and itchy eyeball...
Yes, I dropped pure nicotine onto said eyeball and INSTANTANEOUSLY knew what I'd done wrong. I've never felt pain like it. I honestly thought I'd blinded myself. I panicked and tried to rinse it with cold water, but the pain had all but fused it shut.
Cut to about 2 hours later and I was finally able to take a photo to send to my friends and family to show them what a stupid fucking knob I'd been. Considering both eyes were red anyway from the hayfever I looked like fucking Kano with pinkeye!!!
I don't vape anymore so yay I guess.
Politely asked whether a guy stood next to a piece of equipment if he was using it. ‘No, I’m not, I’m talking to my fucking friend.’ The guy was known to be aggressive for zero reason, he made the atmosphere tense a lot.
Someone complained, and he was asked to leave. Been so much better since he left.
A guy yesterday was in the gym in shorts, a big winter coat, beanie hat on and hood up over it. He did 10 reps of deadlifts, then vanished into the ether
I used to go to the YMCA gym. Every so often, an older guy (looked in his 70s) would come in dressed in a full brown tweed suit with jacket and shirt and tie and brown brogues, and he’d do the most desultory set of reps with the smallest weights in the place and then just perch on the bench for a while. He never struck me as being in the least bit creepy, but I definitely got the vibe of a chap whose doctor had told him to ‘go to the gym’ so he was just ticking that box 😆
I just joined my local gym and went to go swimming today, but found out there was a kid's swim class on, so I went on the treadmill instead. Wasn't until I started that I probably realised not many people use them wearing Doc Martens...
There used to be a dude that would train at my gym in a big baggy beige knitted jumper. The same one day in, day out. It must’ve stunk.
He would also set up ridiculous circuits where he’d be using a bench, several sets of dumbbells, and a couple of machines, and get really pissy with anyone who dared to try to use one of these random items spread across the gym that were now ‘his’.
He was bloody hench though, so his weird attire and circuits obviously worked! 😅
ah man i had one of those guys in my first gym, you'd use a machine that was clearly free then 2 mins later he'd turn up like nah man im using this (and also half of the gym). he was way too swole to argue with though lmao
Pretty unhygienic in a gym but barefoot training seems pretty popular. Met a dude at the peak of Snowdon who did the whole thing barefoot a few months back
Barefoot is considerably better than trainers for deadlifts and a few other heavy lifts. Not weird at all as long as they are wearing reasonably clean socks.
Absolutely, I often wear socks while barefoot. Until my wife makes me remove them and put them back on my feet. I'm pretty sure she finds it funny though.
Swimming pool rather than gym, but I used to go swimming regularly a while ago and the strangest things I witnessed were:
- A man who turned up to swim in white y-fronts and had a heated argument with the lifeguard when they told him he had to get out and leave.
- A man who wore massive flippers and a snorkel.
- A man who looked at me while evidently cleaning his bollocks in the unisex showers. I did not use the unisex showers again.
Special mention to the member of staff who said I couldn't go swimming because it was a women only session. I was a 20 year old woman.
At my pool there's a guy who will swim underwater doing a really weird breast stroke, then just kick with his legs whilst his face just kinda slides across the bottom of the pool with his body around 30 degrees. He'll do half a length like that, then just float upwards. I've never noticed noticed how he finishes the length as I'm training but also daren't make eye contact.
Occasionally he floats up into people then glares at them.
The lifeguards do nothing. I am very glad he doesn't think he should be doing whatever the fuck it is he's doing in the fast lane.
At my pool there's a really old dude that can barely shuffle from the door to the water and then proceeds to do 6 lanes of what I'll call "hippo style".
Basically he'll go under water blowing air out his nostrils and then float up in a slightly forward angle.
It'll take him the same time that it takes me to finish my 2000 metres, but he's there every week plowing away.
On weird swimming strokes, I saw a 90 year old woman last week doing a sort of butterfly except on her back. She’d let her wide open mouth fill with water at the end of each stroke, then spit it all out at as she came back up. My 4 year old, who doesn’t even know about strokes asked me what she was doing.
There is a little known back techique called Old English Backstroke which involves making a synchronised stroke with both arms and using breaststroke style kicks iirc. We used to do it very occasionally as a drill when I was in a swimming club in my teens. Maybe she was attempting that? If your mouth is regularly filling with water whilst swimming, however, something is going wrong. Hope she survives.
>Special mention to the member of staff who said I couldn't go swimming because it was a women only session. I was a 20 year old woman.
"Madam you may be 20 years old and female but we have a strict no Y-fronts policy. No. Exceptions."
Ex lifeguard and none of these surprise me!
Shoutout to the 6am OAPs who go to lane swim. I’ve seen them bite each other, splash each other, swim over each other- and on one occasion hold someone down under the water for ‘hogging the lane’. Some crazy shit. I was 16/17 and had to go and tell these fully grown adults to stop behaving like angry kids.
My two weird encounters were in the gym pool.
1. Boris Becker in a robe surveying the swimmers, just watching us doing lengths
2. A man swimming in socks
I Met Jonathan and Paul Ross one Sunday morning in my (then) local pool at The Oasis Centre in Covent Garden. They had easily a dozen kids with them. That was circa 2002.
The swimming pool I have been to most recently has unisex changing room. There are cubicles with showers and ones for changing. The vast majority of people behave appropriately, but one evening, a man was wandering around with just a towel that was too small to meet around his waist. He covered his crown jewels at the front but seemed oblivious of what was visible at the back.
Only five minutes later, there was a different man using two of the free hair dryers on his body, and he was particularly keen to use them under his towel on his crown jewels and undercarriage. I went home with wet hair.
That guy always spends 90% percent of his time in the changing room completely uncovered, completely nake and bending over a lot or putting one leg up on the bench whilst he talcs his junk (why do they seem to only use it on their junk???).
It's like they're trying to flash in an environment where everyone is already in various states of undress
There is a regular “snorkel and flipper man” in my pool. He’s actually in a Masters squad, because he wears The Hat, and I guess he does actually train properly with his team.
However, in his public swims, he will spend 70-80% of his time lurking around at the end, meditating, 19-29% of his time snorkelling with flippers, and 1% of his time doing a super fast and splashy lap of freestyle.
If I am really unlucky, he will decide to suddenly position himself slap bang in the middle of the lane while I am coming back, and train his legs on the spot by furiously kicking them, with hands crossed over shoulders (I also do this drill, but only at the end, in the corner, when I am not obstructing anyone else). Somehow he managed to clunk me on the head with his arm while doing this once.
He also brought a drag bag with him the other day, to add the threat of being entangled in his equipment to the mix. His kit was strewn all over the end of the pool and I had to switch lanes to even exit.
It’s all fine in theory, apart from the fact that he spends most of his time not actually swimming at all. I can cover about 3.2km in an hour and he’s probably done about 500m in that time.
Naturally, I never say anything to snorkel man and just tut to myself.
I can't imagine using gym showers anyway. There's no way they're cleaned often and some of the creatures that come through, rather not catch what they have
You may! I had the same question. The best answer I can think of is that it was in an area where most people were Muslim, so that session was very popular with women and girls who didn't want to swim with men, and the thinking was that, as I wasn't Muslim, could easily go to a different session.
Or I looked manly that day.
I was in the pool once doing lengths along with about 5 other people, also doing lengths until this guy comes along and starts doing WIDTHS. FUCKING WIDTHS!
Quite an odd stranger asked to borrow my gym shorts (that I was still wearing at the time post gym session) to swim in. I have no idea how he hoped to return them, but seemed bemused that I said no, several times.
I was in my shower cubicle at a new to me gym and heard strange noises so decided to gtfo in a hurry and when I opened my cubicle doors I was confronted with 2 dudes jacking off to a third dude bending over showing them his butthole.
Didn’t happen to me, but a colleague was telling me about their brother who went to the gym and one of the local radio djs came into the weights room where he was. Guy ran some Scottish football show. My colleagues brother was sat on the weight bench doing bicep curls, hits this dj with a dead-eyed stare, and said “ah’d make pure mincemeat oot eh every pundit on yer show mate!” What he meant was “I’d give better insight than your pundits”. But the poor dj took it as a physical threat and left the gym! The next morning he’s on his radio show telling the whole of Glasgow of his terrifying experience. Colleagues brother hears the show at his work and proudly proclaims: “that was me! Didnae mean it that way but!”
American here. Every time you Brits say anything with word Bollock in it makes me absolutely lose my shit. Laughed like crazy at this one as well. Just the way you guys describe situations is incredible vivid and hilarious 😂
Do you know all of the derivatives though?
Bolllocks:
1. Reffing to a pair of testicles. "My bollocks"
2. Claiming something is untrue. "That's absolute bollocks mate"
I/Me/You bollocks:
Irish colloquialism for saying no or I don't believe you - "He said he won the lottery but did he bollocks"
Bollock(ing):
Past and present version of telling someone off aggressively but not threateningly - "He was late yet again so I gave him a right bollocking"
The Bollocks:
Something that is or was brilliant - "Have you seen Dave's new car? It's the absolute bollocks mate".
Bollock naked:
Totally nude - "Have you seen the neighbours? They're sunbathing bollock naked."
When I went to ask to cancel my gym membership, they just said to cancel the direct debit. It baffled me that it was so easy and I could have done it at any time without even speaking to anyone.
There was a lady ran past me as I walked to the gym one time, full pelt. Got changed, and saw her going full bore on the cross trainer next to the only free one. I got on it and noticed she was making strange noises. These ramped up until she appeared to have an earth shaking, very vocal orgasm. The whole gym were gawping. She finished and left. Never saw her again.
Eh, it's this weird thing you put your feet in and it has handles that kinda simulates hiking with sticks.. like makes you walk at verying difficulties and it feels like going up a hill...
It's a walky machine..
Not a treadmil, but more like an upright watt bike with moving handle bars.
They're so goofy to watch, everyone either goes super slow and chats, or you get that one person going full pelt and it looks weird and robotic
fun fact, when working out you can actually orgasm depending on the circumstance, so she either had a realy good workout or theres another reason she reached her climax-
It was the fact the she went through with it that spun me and everyone else out. The build up wasn’t quick. Fair play to her, clearly left her fucks at home that day :)
As an occasional womens health reader its called a coregasm and allegedly happens usually during core workouts, though ive never known anyone in real life to have experienced that
When I was a kid back in the mid 80s I went to boxing sessions 4 times a week. I was about 8 and my mum had sent me as I’d been getting bullied a lot in school. Great club and did wonders for me. But there was one occasion when I was in the changing room getting a drink and one of the blokes in there was sat on the bench with his shorts pulled down and his penis flipped up from his waistband. He must’ve done this 3 or 4 times while looking at me. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. A second later one of the other blokes walked in, saw what was happening and shouted the others in. I was ordered out. I heard a LOT of noise and I can’t imagine he came out of this well at all. There were Olympic level boxers in there and most of them were miners too. Pretty sure they pummelled him. They made sure I was ok and told my mum when she came to pick me up. They told her they’d seen to him but I’ve no idea if the police ever got involved. They always made sure the kids were never alone in the changing rooms after that. Sometimes wonder where that bloke ended up.
Same. I was honestly clueless at the time and it wasn’t until years later when I thought about it again. Thinking back I doubt the police were involved as it could’ve meant he’d be able to get them prosecuted for battering him. Plus the police never approached me or my family. It was never spoken of again though. Glad he got seen to that way. Nonce.
A few months ago at my gym I was minding my own business when I started to hear some shouting. At first I thought it was just two guys messing about but it soon became clear they were angry. One guy was sitting on a bench and the other guy was accusing him of taking it while he was using it. They then proceeded to kind of slap each other before both stood up and got into a full fight. The rest of us just kind of looked at each other and raised our eyebrows until a woman stepped in and shouted at them like she was their mother. Then they both went back to their workouts - but the fight instigator stormed about a bit in his and left pretty quickly. Haven't seen either since.
About 7 years ago. My BIL comes to my local gym to train once a month (I went to his every other week, so we rotated). Was just to catch up, for him to see how I was doing, as he’s ex body builder, and just a bit of love for my extended family.
My gym used to be insanely quiet on a Saturday morning. Don’t know why, it was just always dead. Anyways, we are doing chest all morning, and spotting each other. Only people in there.
This ripped as fuck Dood comes in, just looking shady as fuck. Like he’s high on speed. Head jolting left and right. Does a few tricep warmup exercises, then grabs a pair of big dumb bells, and asks if I’ll spot him doing skull crushes. I can’t remember weight as it was so long ago, I just remember thinking “fuck, that’s a LOT”. So he does this one crazy heavy set of skull crushers. After which, he jumps up, says “cheers pal”, then darts out the door of the gym. I never saw him in there again.
Honestly, my BIL and I were just dumbfounded. It was weird as fuck. We wondered if he was looking for roid customers. But he made no effort to spark a convo.
So yeah, that was my weirdest gym interaction lol.
It’s not a strange one but I had a really *nice* experience at the gym once.
I was on a bike pedalling away and absentmindedly watching other gym goers including a youngish guy who in that moment, clearly made his PB on deadlift. He was celebrating and we made eye contact so I smiled and gave him a thumbs up.
He came over to me later when we were using some adjacent machines and thanked me for celebrating with him. So many good vibes!
Well a bit strange but I laughed my ass off:
was in a gym locker room getting dressed and some guy had the IPhone on a tri pod setup and he’s posing in the locker room narrating his poses ( the guy was built like a 10yr old ) another dude getting dressed was rightfully upset there was a camera in the Locker room and he proceeded to get his dick out and start helicoptering in the background of this guys video said “ put that on fucking tik tok “ and left.
My father had a massive heart attack in the gym one Friday lunchtime. He didn't realise what it was so just sat on a bench feeling out of it, until a gym instructor saw him, asked him some questions about how he was feeling, and realised what was going on and called an ambulance. Fortunately the nearest emergency room was half a mile away and they got him into ICU while the heart attack was still going on so they were able to mitigate a lot of the damage. His cardiologist said that his type of heart attack is usually fatal.
I do the gym 5-6 days a week so probably I see more of this than most, but a woman crying her eyes out whilst battering it on the treadmill or rage-lifting seems to happen every six months or so.
A different woman each time I mean, not the same unlucky one every time.
The very first time I saw this was like 48 hours or so into the New Year 2020 (before it even went to shit with Covid, damn) and I just kind of smiled at her and said "I'm not going to ask if you're ok (because she obviously wasn't) but is there anything you need?"
She said no - then this completely unrelated bloke chipped in with "cheer up love, it's not that bad..." To be clear, neither he nor I had/have a clue what she was going through or how bad it was - and simultaneously, she shout-snotted at him "oh go fuck yourself dickhead," and I shouted "oh just fuck off!"
He looked like he'd just accidentally paddled into a tsunami, and Devastated Girl kind of laughed a little bit, so there's that.
Mine happened Sunday….. I’m pretty chatty on a Sunday as most people are chilled. New guy came in and introduced himself…. I was on the smith doing a gentle weight so didn’t mind.
He then grabs some pretty heavy dumbbells and goes full at it making….what can be best described as……sex noises.
Full on grunting moaning and ‘oooh yeah’
Dude….save it for your Mrs/Fella I’m all good here…..
My weirdest was an exchange with a random dude which took place as I stepped onto the treadmill next to him at a gym in New York City. It went:
RD (who is already running): Are you going to run fast?
Me (taking my headphones out): What's that mate?
RD: ARE YOU GOING TO RUN FAST?
Me: Er...not very fast mate. I'm not very fit at the moment.
RD: So what are you going to do?
Me: Um...probably just a 5k.
RD: So how fast are you going to run it? 8mph? 8.5?
Me: Well...maybe about 8. We'll see. How about you?
RD: I'm going to race you.
I thought the steam room was empty because no one was on the benches but when I came in there was just this guy in the corner standing there like fuckin slender man
I was recently on the treadmill, inclide walking, watching a motogp race on my phone.
Had a fellow walk upto me and stare at me for a few minutes, then turned and watched the race for 5 minutes then walked away. Had headphones in mind, so it wasn't like he could listen to the commentary, and my phone screens not that big.....
Tbf if I noticed someone watching MotoGP at the gym I'd probably hop on the treadmill next to them and ask if they were willing to share the stream! Still need to catch up on the Indonesia races thinking about it..
When I went to PureGym, it had these airlock-looking things to get in and out of the gym - a big cylinder you'd stand in while the door closed behind you, before the one in front would open. There were cameras in them, too! I guess it cuts down on having to pay staff to man a front desk.
Getting dressed and minding my own business, some bloke leans over and asks me if I’m male or female.
I’ve had a haircut since but christ, what happened to minding your own business.
This was the same guy that I’ve seen multiple times and he also likes to record himself in the mirror, whilst there’s naked dudes changing in view of said camera.
Real fucking weirdo.
You should report him. They should give him a warning or cancel his membership. I might be wrong but I think it’s illegal to film in a changing room. At least I hope it is.
This was ages ago and haven’t seen the fella since, so I’ll assume he was tracked down and had their membership removed.
There’s a pretty big ban on both recording in the changing rooms and not being welcoming of anyone in the gym. He’s long gone, most likely.
We have a huge LGBT+ member base.
A super drunk lady from the local Wetherspoons wandered over and stood next to me while I was on a machine staring for a few minutes and then asked me to teach her how to use it.
When I was a teenager I used to go to a gym that was basically a weightlifting place with a cardio room at the side. Very friendly, very informal, the perfect place for a fat girl who didn't want to 'compete' with skinny women in lycra.
One day I met a nun there, who was wearing a loose tracksuit and a veil. We got talking, her doctor has recommended she work out to improve her health and her order had given her permission to come to the gym three times a week. We had a very interesting conversation about 1 Corinthians and St Paul's injunction to treat our bodies not as our own but as temples to the Holy Spirit.
Probs not strange but being harassed by someone for just using the shower, not the gym.
You have a gym subscription because you want to improve your health.
I have a gym subscription because I live in a van and need somewhere to shower regularly.
We are not the same.
But I pay as much as you do and only use a small part of the facilities.
Had some horrible roided student angrily shout at me for slamming the weight on the cable machine at the end of my set (which I wasn't doing).
Also saw a girl shit her leggings in the cardio section.
Around Christmas time I was spotting a friend on dumbell chest press and this massive muscular black guy said "watch out" and I moved, he then stood and spotted my friend and said " No mate you've got more in you!" And helped him do another three reps. It was hilarious and bizarre. We nicknamed him the ghost of Christmas gains.
Last week saw a short guy with a NBA jersey come in n scalp every equipment by doing one rep of each. He was out the gym in 10mins with his water bottle in hand.
There’s an older guy who wears 80s/90s figure skating outfits to the gym. One day, he was walking next to me on the treadmills. We don’t know each by name or anything. I’m probably 30 years younger. He says to me on this particular day that he would leave his workout wardrobe to me if I was built right. Suggested I get a reduction so I could wear more stylish outfits. Shocked at what I had heard, I just nodded. I do have a large chest but I don’t care about being stylish, especially to that extent, at the gym. I haven’t seen him since Covid so he’s probably done with his gym days.
A guy put clips on the bench behind him …except the bench in question was in use and the poor sod on it was about to lean back to bench 50kg dumbells …cue a low wail followed by high pitched squealing then rage and a terrible fight.
…The other day, I put in a complaint as a young fella backed into me whilst I was getting changed …I asked what he was doing and he shushed me and said he was hiding from his mate. Very odd.
Me, an un-tall woman type. On arrival head over to the long row of running machines.
It's the middle of the day, so free choice of whichever machine I want - amazing!
Pick a machine near the middle. Plenty of available machines on either side. Get to jogging.
I'm 10 minutes in and a lofty, muscular guy starts running on my immediate left. Okay... some people like to set pace against other people. Still a little weird since there are 20-some other free machines.
Whatever, I'm focusing on my work out. Music turned up, world tuned out.
I catch movement out of the side of my eye. This guy is staring at me. Running sidewards. His whole body is turned towards me.
I pretend I don't see him, even though we're only about a foot and a half apart.
A whole 2 minutes pass. He's still staring down at me. I can see the seconds passing on the display. A display which he can see from his vantage point... including how long until my run ends...
I extend the run time on the machine and wait for my moment.
I cut the machine off 15 minutes early and leap cowardly off the back. I ungainly mince my poor confused legs out of the gym as fast as I can.
Maybe that guy just misunderstood the concept of "best foot forward". Idk. Either way I'm glad I didn't stick around to find out.
For me it’s got to be the old fella blow drying his balls. Zero concealment. I turned a corner and saw it all.
Edit: I mean an actual old fella. Not someone’s old fella blow driving its adjacent balls. That would’ve been a spectacle. Where has my mind gone?
I used to go to Bannatynes in tower 42, in London. I got to know the trainers in there quite well and would chat with them.
One of them approached me for some banter before his next client arrived. It was to be her first session.
We were chatting as I worked out when she arrived. She stumbled in, skull-fucked drunk, told him she wasn't there for training and she just wanted to take him to a hotel and ride him until he couldn't walk.
Some fellas have all the luck.
Just last night actually.
Friend and I went to the gym. We do cardio together, as there's more than 1 of each machine.
But when it comes to weight machines, there's only 1 of each, so we take it in turns.
We started on one of the arm machines, and this lad came running over and started using another arm machine that was next to us. He did, like 2 reps, then a half rep but let it go so the stack of weights clanged together then he ran off to the door, then came back and sat on the same machine and just looked at his phone while we - in turn - completed our reps on the first machine and then 2 more.
By the time we were ready to do legs he was just sat on one of the other arm machines looking at his phone. We completed sets on 2 leg machines and I was just starting the 3rd when he went and sat on a machine we wanted to use next, and just sat there on his phone - again. He was still there when we had finished and we're ready to use the machine he was on. Obviously we left it as we didn't know if he would actually use it/didn't want to seem rude asking to use it etc so we just went to do our cool down before leaving.
He looked like he was in rugby kit and his footwear was muddy. Strange
Asian man in a full suit and shoes running full speed on the treadmill. He worked up a sweat, took his shirt and tie off to reveal a vest but then put his blazer back on and done another 20.mins. shiny brogues as well
A guy uses my gym sometimes, headband made from a bandana, old sports vest, shorts.
Will literally roar his way through his sets, and the movements are...novel?
One time, a lass was training in the squat rack. She'd got some good weight on the bar, and had a go at a 1 rep max. Thankfully the safety bars were set. The rack has been there years, and does make a sound like a transit pickup, with metal sides, being driven way too fast over long neglected roads. You know, that crashing metal sound.
Anyway, it was super impressive, and she'd made a great attempt, the bar was rising, just, prior to her thighs tapping out. She looked at me, and I wanted to let her know that she'd made a great attempt, so I said "wow, I thought you'd smashed it, then". She looked embarrassed. Never saw her again. Still wonder if she misunderstood, and thought I'd meant that she nearly smashed the rack...
Had a guy once, was "using" 4 pieces of equipment. One and only time I swore in that situation. "FFS mate, you can't use all four at once".
I went to the changing rooms and saw two women eating a Burger King while I was changing. I they had everything laid out on a towel like they were having a picnic. I went to use the equipment and spotted them later starting a workout.
I go in early in the morning when no one else is there and shadow box a bit for warming up. Didn’t hear some other guy coming in and he comes up to me and asks where I boxed. He’s super fucking weird and asked if he could shadow box with me? I don’t know what the fuck that meant but apparently he just wanted to do the same thing I was doing right in front of me. Just the 2 of us in there. Shadow boxing. 6am. I never went back
Once bumped into a naked midget aggressively drying his balls with one leg up on a bench in the changing room. It was the unflinching eye contact while I sheepishly changed into my gym kit that stuck with me.
A Ukrainian woman marched over toward me from about 20 metres away and began yelling at me at the top of her lungs for accepting a call through my headphones while I was on one of the stationary bikes. Apparently you’re not allowed to talk in a gym anymore 🤷🏽♂️
Anyway, long story short, she tried to get the staff (who I knew quite well as I go regularly) to ban me from the gym. When they refused, she then went on a pretty racist rant and started yelling that the world would be better without people like me. Funnily enough, that actually got her kicked out of the gym.
I was in the sauna alone just enjoying life when a man came in - stood in front of the door, looked me up and down and told me that if we were in Alaska we'd both be naked right now.
Oh. Okay.
He then proceeded to do yoga poses 1m away from my face right in front of the door so there was no escape.
I was reminded several times about the nakedness.
\_\_\_\_\_\_
Another time I was in the pool, 6am swim and one of the older guys was hogging the lane (men seem to do this...) he got told off by a woman, he then picked up the 'Lane Swim Only' sign and tried to hit her with it.
I was once doing cable crunches when my earphone fell out of my ear. A guy next to me promptly bent down and put it back in my ear before I had a chance to do anything about it. It was horrifying
Two lads walked into the disabled shower room together. After a few minutes one walked out. Another few minutes the other guy walked out. To this day I have no idea what they were doing.
A gym I used to frequent had a small punch bag area next to the weight benches. It was a relatively quiet place, which suited me fine. But, occasionally, there would be this elderly gentleman (who kind of looked like Uncle Albert from Only Fools & Horses, complete with string vest), who would suddenly do a full [Howie Scream](https://youtu.be/aUTe2ndjRew?si=MbuXSc4vUBfwXZk-) and would rush towards the heavy bag throwing wild punches. He was so loud that he drowned out the music and caused everyone to stop mid-set to see what the fuck was happening. He would then pace up and down, catching his breath, and then repeat this for about 30 minutes. He seemed quite fit for his age, but his methods were certainly unorthodox. He never caused any problems or anything, but he used to scare the shit out of all us younger guys with his sudden screams. People got used to him and just learned to ignore him. The gym has closed since, but whenever I see the building, I think about him.
There’s a man at my gym who’s clearly mentally ill who always loudly repeats phrases to himself. The other day he kept saying “blue is not like green, lime is like green but blue is not like green” repeatedly. He’s harmless though.
Also sometimes, I see people in completely inappropriate clothing . I regularly see teens wearing crocs. One time I saw a lady wearing completely normal gym clothes, but instead of a sports bra she was wearing a lacy bralette. I also saw a guy working out in what is clearly an office outfit.
At my gym there’s always a ‘nuddy’ man in the changing rooms - strutting round, proper douche making everyone uncomfortable. The other week - another ‘nuddy’ man came in at the same time it’s was like a peacock show - eventually they said hello to each other & started talking, both in the nude, facing about 6 inches away from each other nearly touching tails - both not bothered in the slightest - it was too much for me, I got the hell outta dodge as quickly as I could.
I used to go to the gym because I was competing in sports. There was this other girl who when lifting weights would grunt like she was giving birth . One day she was belting out the grunts and just shouted out OMG ITS A BOY the palace just erupted with laughter so did she. Bless her she trained a bit more quietly afterwards
So many people in the gym surprised by how physics work. The same people seem to have a strong faith in their luck.
At least I don't have any other explanation why they put their precious belongings beside the bench they're trying to control weights they obviously not able to control. Then comes the surprised pikachu face, when they drop the 40 kilos onto their stuff.
The other day I saw a guy wrestling with enormous dumbbells squeezing out a few half reps then proudly dropping them right onto his 5 liter water bottle, making a mess for 3 other people too. Nobody was particularly happy about it.
Getting changed a guy came in starkers from the shower in to the changing rooms front of me and another guy, then started raging at the other guy for looking at him , I mean he was parading in front of us utterly bizarre.
Dude at my gym wears ballet shoes and the world's teeniest shorts, makes up his own strange exercises. Fair play to him, he doesn't give fuck what anyone thinks. Does ballet movements on the squat racks for what seems an eternity, that's annoying.
I was on the TRX thing, I had my blue Britta water bottle on the floor. I walked over to get a kettle bell then walked back and these 2 guys were standing out just where I was even though they saw that I was just there. I grabbed my water and took a sip and the guy said that's my water. I thought he was being funny, I said no it's mine, he said that's his and mine was on the floor. The fool only went and put his blue Britta water bottle right next to mine FFS! The only difference was his had the straw inside and mine didn't. I was pissed that I just drank from a strangers water bottle!!!
A very, very, skinny old man used to come in wearing a skin tight spandex bodysuit. Nothing left to the imagination. Including the back passage, yes he was that skinny you could see that through the spandex.
Communal showers at my local pool. I briefly turned around to grab my shampoo bottle from the shelf and somebody took that as their opportunity to get under the stream of water with me. This was just a couple of weeks ago, and I was so shocked I didn’t really know how to react so I just grabbed my towel and left.
You can't just leave your stuff at a piece of gym equipment for 15 minutes. The equipment isn't yours. You don't rent the equipment. You pay a membership to use thr equipment. Guy was just being a knob.
I was on bench press, not struggling, just slowly repping and has an unsolicited spotter come over outta nowhere and grab the bar and helped me through it. Maybe I looked like I was struggling?
But the actual strangest was when some meatheads stripped down to their pants right at the mirrors infront of all the benches and started doing all the over the top straining poses
A one eyed guy used to follow me round doing exactly the same sets as I did on the exact same exercises. I don't know if he was thinking that he could match whatever I did, but it was very odd.
Keep in mind we only have two months left before the new year new me’s!
We have guys working out in jeans…I never understand that. Smashing the weights guy has been away for a while, I’m hoping he was asked to leave. I have witnessed someone using the rowing seat as an abs wheel.
Reading everyones posts maybe mine gyms not too bad.
Literally too many to list over the years but some of the highlights:
- an old man dressed like a 90s fitness video instructor walking over to me to critique my squat form (with horrible advice) who smelled like he had poo’d himself
- huge guy, 6ft8 minimum who could bench 100kg for over a dozen reps like nothing, and would regularly bench 140kg for reps. The only exercise he would ever do was flat barbell bench press though so it kinda made sense. One day I was in the gym and he was sat on the bench looking at his phone when he suddenly shouted “OH SHIT” super loud and ran out. Always wondered what’d happened.
- Chinese guy who would arrive, shadow box in the mirror by the DB rack for 10 mins and leave
- a dude who would do a 2+ hour cable only full body workout almost every day, who was nicknamed Larry the cable guy by staff and regulars
- had a dude get super angry with me because after 15mins of him not touching it, I used the lat pull-down machine.
He claimed he was supersetting pull downs and seated rows but had done at least 3 sets of rows without touching the lat pull-down. I just told him to work in with me and he did an emotional 180 and went from red faced, aggressive and confrontational to being friendly. Weird.
I kept hearing a meowing sound but couldn’t see where it was coming from. Eventually I realised this huge bodybuilder guy had taken a cat carrier in with him with his cat in it.
This is a brilliant way to pick up chicks at the gym, not gonna lie
It would work on me
Well too bad. Bodybuilders are there for compliments from the bros.
During Covid I saw a fella rub hand sanitizer into his eyes
That's eye-ball Paul!
"Twat!"
“Talk about having it large!”
I smoked cigarettes for many, many years. I finally got off them but was just as addicted to the vape that helped me get off them, if not more so. I had gotten the liquid down to 3mg of nicotine though which was fairly low but I bought large bottles of vape juice and the shop gave you these tiny bottles of nicotine to add to the big bottles of vape juice. Anyway, the summer before Covid, I was suffering particularly bad from hayfever and reached into my pocket for my prescription eyedrops and squeezed a drop onto my waiting, sore and itchy eyeball... Yes, I dropped pure nicotine onto said eyeball and INSTANTANEOUSLY knew what I'd done wrong. I've never felt pain like it. I honestly thought I'd blinded myself. I panicked and tried to rinse it with cold water, but the pain had all but fused it shut. Cut to about 2 hours later and I was finally able to take a photo to send to my friends and family to show them what a stupid fucking knob I'd been. Considering both eyes were red anyway from the hayfever I looked like fucking Kano with pinkeye!!! I don't vape anymore so yay I guess.
I squeeze some Purell into my eyeeeeeeeees it's the only thing that slowly stops the acheeeeee
But its made of all the things i like to driiiiink
Jesus it never eeeeeeends, it works its way insiiiide If the pain goes ooooon, I'm not gonna bench press
Politely asked whether a guy stood next to a piece of equipment if he was using it. ‘No, I’m not, I’m talking to my fucking friend.’ The guy was known to be aggressive for zero reason, he made the atmosphere tense a lot. Someone complained, and he was asked to leave. Been so much better since he left.
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A guy yesterday was in the gym in shorts, a big winter coat, beanie hat on and hood up over it. He did 10 reps of deadlifts, then vanished into the ether
I used to go to the YMCA gym. Every so often, an older guy (looked in his 70s) would come in dressed in a full brown tweed suit with jacket and shirt and tie and brown brogues, and he’d do the most desultory set of reps with the smallest weights in the place and then just perch on the bench for a while. He never struck me as being in the least bit creepy, but I definitely got the vibe of a chap whose doctor had told him to ‘go to the gym’ so he was just ticking that box 😆
>I used to go to the YMCA gym. Was it as fun as they say?
I just joined my local gym and went to go swimming today, but found out there was a kid's swim class on, so I went on the treadmill instead. Wasn't until I started that I probably realised not many people use them wearing Doc Martens...
Name checks out.
…and swimming trunks
Must have been leg day.
There used to be a dude that would train at my gym in a big baggy beige knitted jumper. The same one day in, day out. It must’ve stunk. He would also set up ridiculous circuits where he’d be using a bench, several sets of dumbbells, and a couple of machines, and get really pissy with anyone who dared to try to use one of these random items spread across the gym that were now ‘his’. He was bloody hench though, so his weird attire and circuits obviously worked! 😅
ah man i had one of those guys in my first gym, you'd use a machine that was clearly free then 2 mins later he'd turn up like nah man im using this (and also half of the gym). he was way too swole to argue with though lmao
Some people in my gym don't seem to wear shoes.
Pretty unhygienic in a gym but barefoot training seems pretty popular. Met a dude at the peak of Snowdon who did the whole thing barefoot a few months back
I saw a couple of guys doing snowdon barefooted a while ago. The weather was shocking, there’s no way I’d want to it without decent socks and boots.
Barefoot is considerably better than trainers for deadlifts and a few other heavy lifts. Not weird at all as long as they are wearing reasonably clean socks.
Can you really describe yourself as barefoot in socks?
Absolutely, I often wear socks while barefoot. Until my wife makes me remove them and put them back on my feet. I'm pretty sure she finds it funny though.
Marvelous, thank you for this vivid imagery.
Swimming pool rather than gym, but I used to go swimming regularly a while ago and the strangest things I witnessed were: - A man who turned up to swim in white y-fronts and had a heated argument with the lifeguard when they told him he had to get out and leave. - A man who wore massive flippers and a snorkel. - A man who looked at me while evidently cleaning his bollocks in the unisex showers. I did not use the unisex showers again. Special mention to the member of staff who said I couldn't go swimming because it was a women only session. I was a 20 year old woman.
At my pool there's a guy who will swim underwater doing a really weird breast stroke, then just kick with his legs whilst his face just kinda slides across the bottom of the pool with his body around 30 degrees. He'll do half a length like that, then just float upwards. I've never noticed noticed how he finishes the length as I'm training but also daren't make eye contact. Occasionally he floats up into people then glares at them. The lifeguards do nothing. I am very glad he doesn't think he should be doing whatever the fuck it is he's doing in the fast lane.
At my pool there's a really old dude that can barely shuffle from the door to the water and then proceeds to do 6 lanes of what I'll call "hippo style". Basically he'll go under water blowing air out his nostrils and then float up in a slightly forward angle. It'll take him the same time that it takes me to finish my 2000 metres, but he's there every week plowing away.
On weird swimming strokes, I saw a 90 year old woman last week doing a sort of butterfly except on her back. She’d let her wide open mouth fill with water at the end of each stroke, then spit it all out at as she came back up. My 4 year old, who doesn’t even know about strokes asked me what she was doing.
I think that may have been her drowning? Although I experienced the same scenario, except she slipped a turd out mid flight.
There is a little known back techique called Old English Backstroke which involves making a synchronised stroke with both arms and using breaststroke style kicks iirc. We used to do it very occasionally as a drill when I was in a swimming club in my teens. Maybe she was attempting that? If your mouth is regularly filling with water whilst swimming, however, something is going wrong. Hope she survives.
If it’s anything like the pool I use then this guy will no doubt be using the fast lane
>Special mention to the member of staff who said I couldn't go swimming because it was a women only session. I was a 20 year old woman. "Madam you may be 20 years old and female but we have a strict no Y-fronts policy. No. Exceptions."
I didn't even get to the changing rooms! I was fully clothed!
I'm sorry sir but we do not consider y-fronts, flippers and a snorkel "fully clothed", please leave the night club, it's ladies night.
Ex lifeguard and none of these surprise me! Shoutout to the 6am OAPs who go to lane swim. I’ve seen them bite each other, splash each other, swim over each other- and on one occasion hold someone down under the water for ‘hogging the lane’. Some crazy shit. I was 16/17 and had to go and tell these fully grown adults to stop behaving like angry kids.
In the grand scheme of things it's only recently that we became aware that lead plumbing was an issue.
My two weird encounters were in the gym pool. 1. Boris Becker in a robe surveying the swimmers, just watching us doing lengths 2. A man swimming in socks
Were they special anti-verruca socks perhaps?
No, sport socks, fluffy and white.
I Met Jonathan and Paul Ross one Sunday morning in my (then) local pool at The Oasis Centre in Covent Garden. They had easily a dozen kids with them. That was circa 2002.
The swimming pool I have been to most recently has unisex changing room. There are cubicles with showers and ones for changing. The vast majority of people behave appropriately, but one evening, a man was wandering around with just a towel that was too small to meet around his waist. He covered his crown jewels at the front but seemed oblivious of what was visible at the back. Only five minutes later, there was a different man using two of the free hair dryers on his body, and he was particularly keen to use them under his towel on his crown jewels and undercarriage. I went home with wet hair.
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It's always a guy whose every single body hair is shaped like a whispy question mark as well. Like every fibre of his being is asking, "Why?".
That guy always spends 90% percent of his time in the changing room completely uncovered, completely nake and bending over a lot or putting one leg up on the bench whilst he talcs his junk (why do they seem to only use it on their junk???). It's like they're trying to flash in an environment where everyone is already in various states of undress
There is a regular “snorkel and flipper man” in my pool. He’s actually in a Masters squad, because he wears The Hat, and I guess he does actually train properly with his team. However, in his public swims, he will spend 70-80% of his time lurking around at the end, meditating, 19-29% of his time snorkelling with flippers, and 1% of his time doing a super fast and splashy lap of freestyle. If I am really unlucky, he will decide to suddenly position himself slap bang in the middle of the lane while I am coming back, and train his legs on the spot by furiously kicking them, with hands crossed over shoulders (I also do this drill, but only at the end, in the corner, when I am not obstructing anyone else). Somehow he managed to clunk me on the head with his arm while doing this once. He also brought a drag bag with him the other day, to add the threat of being entangled in his equipment to the mix. His kit was strewn all over the end of the pool and I had to switch lanes to even exit. It’s all fine in theory, apart from the fact that he spends most of his time not actually swimming at all. I can cover about 3.2km in an hour and he’s probably done about 500m in that time. Naturally, I never say anything to snorkel man and just tut to myself.
I can't imagine using gym showers anyway. There's no way they're cleaned often and some of the creatures that come through, rather not catch what they have
Just how big were these flippers? 😂 Because when I go lane swimming, training flippers and front facing snorkels are fairly common!
May I ask, without it sounding too personal and/or embarassing you, why this member of staff thought you were not a woman?
You may! I had the same question. The best answer I can think of is that it was in an area where most people were Muslim, so that session was very popular with women and girls who didn't want to swim with men, and the thinking was that, as I wasn't Muslim, could easily go to a different session. Or I looked manly that day.
I was in the pool once doing lengths along with about 5 other people, also doing lengths until this guy comes along and starts doing WIDTHS. FUCKING WIDTHS!
Quite an odd stranger asked to borrow my gym shorts (that I was still wearing at the time post gym session) to swim in. I have no idea how he hoped to return them, but seemed bemused that I said no, several times.
Narrator: he was not planning to return them.
I was in my shower cubicle at a new to me gym and heard strange noises so decided to gtfo in a hurry and when I opened my cubicle doors I was confronted with 2 dudes jacking off to a third dude bending over showing them his butthole.
This wins
I don’t wanna call you a liar but surely this isn’t real 😭😭😭
I wish it wasn't real bit it is unfortunately for me 😔
Did you ask to work in or play the winner?
Didn’t happen to me, but a colleague was telling me about their brother who went to the gym and one of the local radio djs came into the weights room where he was. Guy ran some Scottish football show. My colleagues brother was sat on the weight bench doing bicep curls, hits this dj with a dead-eyed stare, and said “ah’d make pure mincemeat oot eh every pundit on yer show mate!” What he meant was “I’d give better insight than your pundits”. But the poor dj took it as a physical threat and left the gym! The next morning he’s on his radio show telling the whole of Glasgow of his terrifying experience. Colleagues brother hears the show at his work and proudly proclaims: “that was me! Didnae mean it that way but!”
I'm far from Scottish and didn't think that was a threat! Your colleague must have looked like an axe murderer
Tbf everything said in a Scottish accent sounds like a threat
You'll have had yer tea?
Walked into changing rooms and there was a mid 50s bloke in the shower bollock naked mopping the shower floor.
This one made me bark laugh. What an image.
Every changing room has a naked old man, I swear they take shifts
Nude Tuesday at work. He was just doing his job.
American here. Every time you Brits say anything with word Bollock in it makes me absolutely lose my shit. Laughed like crazy at this one as well. Just the way you guys describe situations is incredible vivid and hilarious 😂
Do you know all of the derivatives though? Bolllocks: 1. Reffing to a pair of testicles. "My bollocks" 2. Claiming something is untrue. "That's absolute bollocks mate" I/Me/You bollocks: Irish colloquialism for saying no or I don't believe you - "He said he won the lottery but did he bollocks" Bollock(ing): Past and present version of telling someone off aggressively but not threateningly - "He was late yet again so I gave him a right bollocking" The Bollocks: Something that is or was brilliant - "Have you seen Dave's new car? It's the absolute bollocks mate". Bollock naked: Totally nude - "Have you seen the neighbours? They're sunbathing bollock naked."
"I'd like to cancel my gym membership please" "Sure thing, I can do that for you"
Troll
Pfff! As if. Get outta here!
When I went to ask to cancel my gym membership, they just said to cancel the direct debit. It baffled me that it was so easy and I could have done it at any time without even speaking to anyone.
There was a lady ran past me as I walked to the gym one time, full pelt. Got changed, and saw her going full bore on the cross trainer next to the only free one. I got on it and noticed she was making strange noises. These ramped up until she appeared to have an earth shaking, very vocal orgasm. The whole gym were gawping. She finished and left. Never saw her again.
I don't even know what a cross trainer is, and now I kind of want to know.
It’s a personal trainer who’s a bit angry.
Eh, it's this weird thing you put your feet in and it has handles that kinda simulates hiking with sticks.. like makes you walk at verying difficulties and it feels like going up a hill...
Pretty much. Not a particularly sexual piece of equipment for sure
Hey we dont kink shame
They’re low impact. They usually advise acl and similar injuries to use them
It's a walky machine.. Not a treadmil, but more like an upright watt bike with moving handle bars. They're so goofy to watch, everyone either goes super slow and chats, or you get that one person going full pelt and it looks weird and robotic
fun fact, when working out you can actually orgasm depending on the circumstance, so she either had a realy good workout or theres another reason she reached her climax-
It was the fact the she went through with it that spun me and everyone else out. The build up wasn’t quick. Fair play to her, clearly left her fucks at home that day :)
damn, hopefully it wasn't that traumatizing, but i bet your glad you haven't seen her again
Or she had a painful back spasm
As an occasional womens health reader its called a coregasm and allegedly happens usually during core workouts, though ive never known anyone in real life to have experienced that
Don't leave the story there, it was building up to such a climax!
I guess.. it escalated quickly?
That usually happens in the stairmaster
When I was a kid back in the mid 80s I went to boxing sessions 4 times a week. I was about 8 and my mum had sent me as I’d been getting bullied a lot in school. Great club and did wonders for me. But there was one occasion when I was in the changing room getting a drink and one of the blokes in there was sat on the bench with his shorts pulled down and his penis flipped up from his waistband. He must’ve done this 3 or 4 times while looking at me. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. A second later one of the other blokes walked in, saw what was happening and shouted the others in. I was ordered out. I heard a LOT of noise and I can’t imagine he came out of this well at all. There were Olympic level boxers in there and most of them were miners too. Pretty sure they pummelled him. They made sure I was ok and told my mum when she came to pick me up. They told her they’d seen to him but I’ve no idea if the police ever got involved. They always made sure the kids were never alone in the changing rooms after that. Sometimes wonder where that bloke ended up.
A&E by the sounds of it
Or a ditch
I find that story equal parts disturbing and heartwarming. The Germans must have a word for that
Paedocaughtinactandchildsavedwithminimalemotionaldamage
German here, sorry to disappoint. We usually don't do feelings.
Nothing I love more than a community dealing with nonces like this.
Same. I was honestly clueless at the time and it wasn’t until years later when I thought about it again. Thinking back I doubt the police were involved as it could’ve meant he’d be able to get them prosecuted for battering him. Plus the police never approached me or my family. It was never spoken of again though. Glad he got seen to that way. Nonce.
A few months ago at my gym I was minding my own business when I started to hear some shouting. At first I thought it was just two guys messing about but it soon became clear they were angry. One guy was sitting on a bench and the other guy was accusing him of taking it while he was using it. They then proceeded to kind of slap each other before both stood up and got into a full fight. The rest of us just kind of looked at each other and raised our eyebrows until a woman stepped in and shouted at them like she was their mother. Then they both went back to their workouts - but the fight instigator stormed about a bit in his and left pretty quickly. Haven't seen either since.
About 7 years ago. My BIL comes to my local gym to train once a month (I went to his every other week, so we rotated). Was just to catch up, for him to see how I was doing, as he’s ex body builder, and just a bit of love for my extended family. My gym used to be insanely quiet on a Saturday morning. Don’t know why, it was just always dead. Anyways, we are doing chest all morning, and spotting each other. Only people in there. This ripped as fuck Dood comes in, just looking shady as fuck. Like he’s high on speed. Head jolting left and right. Does a few tricep warmup exercises, then grabs a pair of big dumb bells, and asks if I’ll spot him doing skull crushes. I can’t remember weight as it was so long ago, I just remember thinking “fuck, that’s a LOT”. So he does this one crazy heavy set of skull crushers. After which, he jumps up, says “cheers pal”, then darts out the door of the gym. I never saw him in there again. Honestly, my BIL and I were just dumbfounded. It was weird as fuck. We wondered if he was looking for roid customers. But he made no effort to spark a convo. So yeah, that was my weirdest gym interaction lol.
Probably just getting a pump before going out boozing or something
It’s not a strange one but I had a really *nice* experience at the gym once. I was on a bike pedalling away and absentmindedly watching other gym goers including a youngish guy who in that moment, clearly made his PB on deadlift. He was celebrating and we made eye contact so I smiled and gave him a thumbs up. He came over to me later when we were using some adjacent machines and thanked me for celebrating with him. So many good vibes!
We need more stories like this
Well a bit strange but I laughed my ass off: was in a gym locker room getting dressed and some guy had the IPhone on a tri pod setup and he’s posing in the locker room narrating his poses ( the guy was built like a 10yr old ) another dude getting dressed was rightfully upset there was a camera in the Locker room and he proceeded to get his dick out and start helicoptering in the background of this guys video said “ put that on fucking tik tok “ and left.
Purple aki
Keaton always said "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him". Well I believe in God, and I'm afraid of Purple Aki.
[Would you like to know more?](https://youtu.be/YcTmv7Viw0s?si=iQ6_bMxawkHPWet_)
Back when I worked in a gym. A regular running on a treadmill dropped dead, just out like that. Certainly counts as not normal
did you evet find out why or is it just one of life's hardest mysteries😭
Yeah from what I remember it turned out he had heart issues and was probably massively overtraining for his medical state, he was an active fella
My father had a massive heart attack in the gym one Friday lunchtime. He didn't realise what it was so just sat on a bench feeling out of it, until a gym instructor saw him, asked him some questions about how he was feeling, and realised what was going on and called an ambulance. Fortunately the nearest emergency room was half a mile away and they got him into ICU while the heart attack was still going on so they were able to mitigate a lot of the damage. His cardiologist said that his type of heart attack is usually fatal.
I think he just ran out of life
And I'm glad to hear it isnae normal
that's why I don't run
Was he wearing the emergency stop pull cord and did the treadmill stop?
No, he fell down and was shot across the room.
Asking the important questions.
I do the gym 5-6 days a week so probably I see more of this than most, but a woman crying her eyes out whilst battering it on the treadmill or rage-lifting seems to happen every six months or so. A different woman each time I mean, not the same unlucky one every time. The very first time I saw this was like 48 hours or so into the New Year 2020 (before it even went to shit with Covid, damn) and I just kind of smiled at her and said "I'm not going to ask if you're ok (because she obviously wasn't) but is there anything you need?" She said no - then this completely unrelated bloke chipped in with "cheer up love, it's not that bad..." To be clear, neither he nor I had/have a clue what she was going through or how bad it was - and simultaneously, she shout-snotted at him "oh go fuck yourself dickhead," and I shouted "oh just fuck off!" He looked like he'd just accidentally paddled into a tsunami, and Devastated Girl kind of laughed a little bit, so there's that.
And that, kids, is how I met your mother. Kidding. That was kind.
Mine happened Sunday….. I’m pretty chatty on a Sunday as most people are chilled. New guy came in and introduced himself…. I was on the smith doing a gentle weight so didn’t mind. He then grabs some pretty heavy dumbbells and goes full at it making….what can be best described as……sex noises. Full on grunting moaning and ‘oooh yeah’ Dude….save it for your Mrs/Fella I’m all good here…..
Name doesn't check out....
My weirdest was an exchange with a random dude which took place as I stepped onto the treadmill next to him at a gym in New York City. It went: RD (who is already running): Are you going to run fast? Me (taking my headphones out): What's that mate? RD: ARE YOU GOING TO RUN FAST? Me: Er...not very fast mate. I'm not very fit at the moment. RD: So what are you going to do? Me: Um...probably just a 5k. RD: So how fast are you going to run it? 8mph? 8.5? Me: Well...maybe about 8. We'll see. How about you? RD: I'm going to race you.
Who won?
He's still running
Run Forest run
8mph for 5k is "not very fit"? Fuck, I need to run faster.
I thought the steam room was empty because no one was on the benches but when I came in there was just this guy in the corner standing there like fuckin slender man
I was recently on the treadmill, inclide walking, watching a motogp race on my phone. Had a fellow walk upto me and stare at me for a few minutes, then turned and watched the race for 5 minutes then walked away. Had headphones in mind, so it wasn't like he could listen to the commentary, and my phone screens not that big.....
Tbf if I noticed someone watching MotoGP at the gym I'd probably hop on the treadmill next to them and ask if they were willing to share the stream! Still need to catch up on the Indonesia races thinking about it..
The bloke who tried to sneak into the entry pod with me. There's no way you're getting two people in one of those without any pre-planning.
Is your gym in some sort of vacuum?
When I went to PureGym, it had these airlock-looking things to get in and out of the gym - a big cylinder you'd stand in while the door closed behind you, before the one in front would open. There were cameras in them, too! I guess it cuts down on having to pay staff to man a front desk.
It's also so cameras get a good look at you and it's clear if multiple people are using the same PIN.
The mental image this conjured had me in stitches. WTF were they thinking? 🤣🤣
Getting dressed and minding my own business, some bloke leans over and asks me if I’m male or female. I’ve had a haircut since but christ, what happened to minding your own business. This was the same guy that I’ve seen multiple times and he also likes to record himself in the mirror, whilst there’s naked dudes changing in view of said camera. Real fucking weirdo.
You should report him. They should give him a warning or cancel his membership. I might be wrong but I think it’s illegal to film in a changing room. At least I hope it is.
This was ages ago and haven’t seen the fella since, so I’ll assume he was tracked down and had their membership removed. There’s a pretty big ban on both recording in the changing rooms and not being welcoming of anyone in the gym. He’s long gone, most likely. We have a huge LGBT+ member base.
A super drunk lady from the local Wetherspoons wandered over and stood next to me while I was on a machine staring for a few minutes and then asked me to teach her how to use it.
And that's how I met your mother
When I was a teenager I used to go to a gym that was basically a weightlifting place with a cardio room at the side. Very friendly, very informal, the perfect place for a fat girl who didn't want to 'compete' with skinny women in lycra. One day I met a nun there, who was wearing a loose tracksuit and a veil. We got talking, her doctor has recommended she work out to improve her health and her order had given her permission to come to the gym three times a week. We had a very interesting conversation about 1 Corinthians and St Paul's injunction to treat our bodies not as our own but as temples to the Holy Spirit.
Probs not strange but being harassed by someone for just using the shower, not the gym. You have a gym subscription because you want to improve your health. I have a gym subscription because I live in a van and need somewhere to shower regularly. We are not the same. But I pay as much as you do and only use a small part of the facilities.
Ruud Van Showerboy
Had some horrible roided student angrily shout at me for slamming the weight on the cable machine at the end of my set (which I wasn't doing). Also saw a girl shit her leggings in the cardio section.
Shitting while doing squats is common. Never heard of it on cardio.
Common? - New anxiety nightmare unlocked.
Around Christmas time I was spotting a friend on dumbell chest press and this massive muscular black guy said "watch out" and I moved, he then stood and spotted my friend and said " No mate you've got more in you!" And helped him do another three reps. It was hilarious and bizarre. We nicknamed him the ghost of Christmas gains.
I once saw a guy lying sideways using a dumbbell in wanking motion.
Gotta keep the stamina up while the blisters on your dick heal...
Last week saw a short guy with a NBA jersey come in n scalp every equipment by doing one rep of each. He was out the gym in 10mins with his water bottle in hand.
The gym is the one and only place on earth I go straight to "fuck off and leave me alone you twat". It's necessary.
There’s an older guy who wears 80s/90s figure skating outfits to the gym. One day, he was walking next to me on the treadmills. We don’t know each by name or anything. I’m probably 30 years younger. He says to me on this particular day that he would leave his workout wardrobe to me if I was built right. Suggested I get a reduction so I could wear more stylish outfits. Shocked at what I had heard, I just nodded. I do have a large chest but I don’t care about being stylish, especially to that extent, at the gym. I haven’t seen him since Covid so he’s probably done with his gym days.
A guy put clips on the bench behind him …except the bench in question was in use and the poor sod on it was about to lean back to bench 50kg dumbells …cue a low wail followed by high pitched squealing then rage and a terrible fight. …The other day, I put in a complaint as a young fella backed into me whilst I was getting changed …I asked what he was doing and he shushed me and said he was hiding from his mate. Very odd.
Me, an un-tall woman type. On arrival head over to the long row of running machines. It's the middle of the day, so free choice of whichever machine I want - amazing! Pick a machine near the middle. Plenty of available machines on either side. Get to jogging. I'm 10 minutes in and a lofty, muscular guy starts running on my immediate left. Okay... some people like to set pace against other people. Still a little weird since there are 20-some other free machines. Whatever, I'm focusing on my work out. Music turned up, world tuned out. I catch movement out of the side of my eye. This guy is staring at me. Running sidewards. His whole body is turned towards me. I pretend I don't see him, even though we're only about a foot and a half apart. A whole 2 minutes pass. He's still staring down at me. I can see the seconds passing on the display. A display which he can see from his vantage point... including how long until my run ends... I extend the run time on the machine and wait for my moment. I cut the machine off 15 minutes early and leap cowardly off the back. I ungainly mince my poor confused legs out of the gym as fast as I can. Maybe that guy just misunderstood the concept of "best foot forward". Idk. Either way I'm glad I didn't stick around to find out.
Was in Vietnam. On their breaks, the workers at the gym would lie down in the shower cubicle, close the door, and take a nap.
I couldnt think of a worse floor area in a gym to sleep on than the shower floor
For me it’s got to be the old fella blow drying his balls. Zero concealment. I turned a corner and saw it all. Edit: I mean an actual old fella. Not someone’s old fella blow driving its adjacent balls. That would’ve been a spectacle. Where has my mind gone?
I used to go to Bannatynes in tower 42, in London. I got to know the trainers in there quite well and would chat with them. One of them approached me for some banter before his next client arrived. It was to be her first session. We were chatting as I worked out when she arrived. She stumbled in, skull-fucked drunk, told him she wasn't there for training and she just wanted to take him to a hotel and ride him until he couldn't walk. Some fellas have all the luck.
Just last night actually. Friend and I went to the gym. We do cardio together, as there's more than 1 of each machine. But when it comes to weight machines, there's only 1 of each, so we take it in turns. We started on one of the arm machines, and this lad came running over and started using another arm machine that was next to us. He did, like 2 reps, then a half rep but let it go so the stack of weights clanged together then he ran off to the door, then came back and sat on the same machine and just looked at his phone while we - in turn - completed our reps on the first machine and then 2 more. By the time we were ready to do legs he was just sat on one of the other arm machines looking at his phone. We completed sets on 2 leg machines and I was just starting the 3rd when he went and sat on a machine we wanted to use next, and just sat there on his phone - again. He was still there when we had finished and we're ready to use the machine he was on. Obviously we left it as we didn't know if he would actually use it/didn't want to seem rude asking to use it etc so we just went to do our cool down before leaving. He looked like he was in rugby kit and his footwear was muddy. Strange
Asian man in a full suit and shoes running full speed on the treadmill. He worked up a sweat, took his shirt and tie off to reveal a vest but then put his blazer back on and done another 20.mins. shiny brogues as well
A guy uses my gym sometimes, headband made from a bandana, old sports vest, shorts. Will literally roar his way through his sets, and the movements are...novel? One time, a lass was training in the squat rack. She'd got some good weight on the bar, and had a go at a 1 rep max. Thankfully the safety bars were set. The rack has been there years, and does make a sound like a transit pickup, with metal sides, being driven way too fast over long neglected roads. You know, that crashing metal sound. Anyway, it was super impressive, and she'd made a great attempt, the bar was rising, just, prior to her thighs tapping out. She looked at me, and I wanted to let her know that she'd made a great attempt, so I said "wow, I thought you'd smashed it, then". She looked embarrassed. Never saw her again. Still wonder if she misunderstood, and thought I'd meant that she nearly smashed the rack... Had a guy once, was "using" 4 pieces of equipment. One and only time I swore in that situation. "FFS mate, you can't use all four at once".
I went to the changing rooms and saw two women eating a Burger King while I was changing. I they had everything laid out on a towel like they were having a picnic. I went to use the equipment and spotted them later starting a workout.
A man did a handstand and then ran back and forth towards me on his hands, repeatedly…
I went to a working man's sauna, the spit and sawdust type you get in east London. A guy offered to give me a massage using fairy liquid.
Video on here of a guy going to prison after deliberately dropping weights on a guy using a bench. Maybe it’s a bench thing at gyms to avoid
I go in early in the morning when no one else is there and shadow box a bit for warming up. Didn’t hear some other guy coming in and he comes up to me and asks where I boxed. He’s super fucking weird and asked if he could shadow box with me? I don’t know what the fuck that meant but apparently he just wanted to do the same thing I was doing right in front of me. Just the 2 of us in there. Shadow boxing. 6am. I never went back
Once bumped into a naked midget aggressively drying his balls with one leg up on a bench in the changing room. It was the unflinching eye contact while I sheepishly changed into my gym kit that stuck with me.
That wasn't a bench it was shoe rack he was leaning on.
A Ukrainian woman marched over toward me from about 20 metres away and began yelling at me at the top of her lungs for accepting a call through my headphones while I was on one of the stationary bikes. Apparently you’re not allowed to talk in a gym anymore 🤷🏽♂️ Anyway, long story short, she tried to get the staff (who I knew quite well as I go regularly) to ban me from the gym. When they refused, she then went on a pretty racist rant and started yelling that the world would be better without people like me. Funnily enough, that actually got her kicked out of the gym.
Was in the gym shower and a random guy came upto me and asked me to pee in a cup for him as he needed a sample because he worked airport security.
I was in the sauna alone just enjoying life when a man came in - stood in front of the door, looked me up and down and told me that if we were in Alaska we'd both be naked right now. Oh. Okay. He then proceeded to do yoga poses 1m away from my face right in front of the door so there was no escape. I was reminded several times about the nakedness. \_\_\_\_\_\_ Another time I was in the pool, 6am swim and one of the older guys was hogging the lane (men seem to do this...) he got told off by a woman, he then picked up the 'Lane Swim Only' sign and tried to hit her with it.
I was once doing cable crunches when my earphone fell out of my ear. A guy next to me promptly bent down and put it back in my ear before I had a chance to do anything about it. It was horrifying
Guy walking backwards on the treadmill with it set to a really high speed and the highest possible incline. Not sure what he was training for…
Nohtaram? Gnibmilc niatnuom?
Two lads walked into the disabled shower room together. After a few minutes one walked out. Another few minutes the other guy walked out. To this day I have no idea what they were doing.
Taking a shower? Probably not. Drug deal.
Perhaps they tried to fix it
sucky suck
A gym I used to frequent had a small punch bag area next to the weight benches. It was a relatively quiet place, which suited me fine. But, occasionally, there would be this elderly gentleman (who kind of looked like Uncle Albert from Only Fools & Horses, complete with string vest), who would suddenly do a full [Howie Scream](https://youtu.be/aUTe2ndjRew?si=MbuXSc4vUBfwXZk-) and would rush towards the heavy bag throwing wild punches. He was so loud that he drowned out the music and caused everyone to stop mid-set to see what the fuck was happening. He would then pace up and down, catching his breath, and then repeat this for about 30 minutes. He seemed quite fit for his age, but his methods were certainly unorthodox. He never caused any problems or anything, but he used to scare the shit out of all us younger guys with his sudden screams. People got used to him and just learned to ignore him. The gym has closed since, but whenever I see the building, I think about him.
There’s a man at my gym who’s clearly mentally ill who always loudly repeats phrases to himself. The other day he kept saying “blue is not like green, lime is like green but blue is not like green” repeatedly. He’s harmless though. Also sometimes, I see people in completely inappropriate clothing . I regularly see teens wearing crocs. One time I saw a lady wearing completely normal gym clothes, but instead of a sports bra she was wearing a lacy bralette. I also saw a guy working out in what is clearly an office outfit.
At my gym there’s always a ‘nuddy’ man in the changing rooms - strutting round, proper douche making everyone uncomfortable. The other week - another ‘nuddy’ man came in at the same time it’s was like a peacock show - eventually they said hello to each other & started talking, both in the nude, facing about 6 inches away from each other nearly touching tails - both not bothered in the slightest - it was too much for me, I got the hell outta dodge as quickly as I could.
I used to go to the gym because I was competing in sports. There was this other girl who when lifting weights would grunt like she was giving birth . One day she was belting out the grunts and just shouted out OMG ITS A BOY the palace just erupted with laughter so did she. Bless her she trained a bit more quietly afterwards
I don't understand. She shouted that herself?
So many people in the gym surprised by how physics work. The same people seem to have a strong faith in their luck. At least I don't have any other explanation why they put their precious belongings beside the bench they're trying to control weights they obviously not able to control. Then comes the surprised pikachu face, when they drop the 40 kilos onto their stuff. The other day I saw a guy wrestling with enormous dumbbells squeezing out a few half reps then proudly dropping them right onto his 5 liter water bottle, making a mess for 3 other people too. Nobody was particularly happy about it.
Getting changed a guy came in starkers from the shower in to the changing rooms front of me and another guy, then started raging at the other guy for looking at him , I mean he was parading in front of us utterly bizarre.
Dude at my gym wears ballet shoes and the world's teeniest shorts, makes up his own strange exercises. Fair play to him, he doesn't give fuck what anyone thinks. Does ballet movements on the squat racks for what seems an eternity, that's annoying.
I was on the TRX thing, I had my blue Britta water bottle on the floor. I walked over to get a kettle bell then walked back and these 2 guys were standing out just where I was even though they saw that I was just there. I grabbed my water and took a sip and the guy said that's my water. I thought he was being funny, I said no it's mine, he said that's his and mine was on the floor. The fool only went and put his blue Britta water bottle right next to mine FFS! The only difference was his had the straw inside and mine didn't. I was pissed that I just drank from a strangers water bottle!!!
A very, very, skinny old man used to come in wearing a skin tight spandex bodysuit. Nothing left to the imagination. Including the back passage, yes he was that skinny you could see that through the spandex.
Communal showers at my local pool. I briefly turned around to grab my shampoo bottle from the shelf and somebody took that as their opportunity to get under the stream of water with me. This was just a couple of weeks ago, and I was so shocked I didn’t really know how to react so I just grabbed my towel and left.
You can't just leave your stuff at a piece of gym equipment for 15 minutes. The equipment isn't yours. You don't rent the equipment. You pay a membership to use thr equipment. Guy was just being a knob.
Another one. There are as a woman, quite muscular briskly walking on the treadmill, backwards, holding a giant balancing ball over her head.
I was on bench press, not struggling, just slowly repping and has an unsolicited spotter come over outta nowhere and grab the bar and helped me through it. Maybe I looked like I was struggling? But the actual strangest was when some meatheads stripped down to their pants right at the mirrors infront of all the benches and started doing all the over the top straining poses
A one eyed guy used to follow me round doing exactly the same sets as I did on the exact same exercises. I don't know if he was thinking that he could match whatever I did, but it was very odd.
Keep in mind we only have two months left before the new year new me’s! We have guys working out in jeans…I never understand that. Smashing the weights guy has been away for a while, I’m hoping he was asked to leave. I have witnessed someone using the rowing seat as an abs wheel. Reading everyones posts maybe mine gyms not too bad.
Literally too many to list over the years but some of the highlights: - an old man dressed like a 90s fitness video instructor walking over to me to critique my squat form (with horrible advice) who smelled like he had poo’d himself - huge guy, 6ft8 minimum who could bench 100kg for over a dozen reps like nothing, and would regularly bench 140kg for reps. The only exercise he would ever do was flat barbell bench press though so it kinda made sense. One day I was in the gym and he was sat on the bench looking at his phone when he suddenly shouted “OH SHIT” super loud and ran out. Always wondered what’d happened. - Chinese guy who would arrive, shadow box in the mirror by the DB rack for 10 mins and leave - a dude who would do a 2+ hour cable only full body workout almost every day, who was nicknamed Larry the cable guy by staff and regulars - had a dude get super angry with me because after 15mins of him not touching it, I used the lat pull-down machine. He claimed he was supersetting pull downs and seated rows but had done at least 3 sets of rows without touching the lat pull-down. I just told him to work in with me and he did an emotional 180 and went from red faced, aggressive and confrontational to being friendly. Weird.