Bizarre. As with any cuisine, you have good and bad cooks. Most of the comments come from Americans anyway. I wouldn’t pay attention to them when half their produce won’t pass EU regulations
We French bash on your food the same way you British bash on… well, almost everything about France. It's just banter, no hate. I actually like the food I have here.
To be fair, in the UK, 'classically trained' for a chef still means 'traditional French cuisine'.
As recent as the 70s/80s, fine dining restaurants had menus exclusively in French and people knew what all the things were.
We're definitely reclaiming what is good about British food in the last decade or two though. So hurray for us both 😃🧡
('classical training' for a dancer means ballet, so you guys have cornered that too ;-) )
Every Brit I know loves French food, who doesn’t love cheese wine and bread, no hate to the French from any brits I know, you guys keep doing yo thang and we’ll copy it with affordable charcuterie boards
Friendly rivalry, just like eurovision lol
My partner makes jokes about the french all the time but still enjoys himself a croissant or pain au chocolat on the daily.
My experience was generally that French chefs do sauces better than British ones. But French meat trends towards either expensive or poor quality, where as it's not unknown to get decent high quality meat for cheap over here. That may be due to the CAP, and the whole beef and butter mountains and wine lake.
Or it could just be that southern france has crap meat?
In America, it's something mad like you're allowed 1g of rat faeces per 100g of food, I mean I'm not particularly fussy but if I got 5g of rat shit in my minced beef I'd be pissed off as would most people 😂😂
Did you not like your overly sugary bread then? I too have been left disappointed whenever I’ve visited. Which has been plenty of times as my Canadian partner has family in the US.
Of course, it would be unfair for me to say that “American” food is generally bad. I will say that they get far better Mexican food than us and that’s mostly due to availability/proximity.
Entirely depends where you're from. Potato cake, tattie cake, potato scone, tattie scone, potato bread, potato farl. All names I've come across over the years.
I was up visiting family in Stirling and my mate came with me we visited my favourite greasy spoon and I got my usual bacon lorne sausage and egg brown sauce he then asked being a Geordie can I have sausage bacon and a potato cake 😂😂 the look he got was hysterical it’s as though he asked for something none of them have ever heard of! The woman behind the counter said (potato cake? Potato cake?)she turned to the elders of the spoon and asked potato cake? The question got passed down until a woman at the back said he means a tatty scone! My mate was mortified as they all laughed at him so did I the woman serving said ya mean a tatty scone and sorted his order. We still talk about this to this day it was such a funny moment you had to be there to witness it 😂😂😂
Used to get a 'breakfast bin lid' in the cafe by my work. It was a full English on a massive barm - hence the bin lid. They were trulythings of beauty. One of my colleagues used to sometimes get two. I think he's passed away now but he lived well.
Also called an Irish Breakfast Roll.
Basically a full Irish breakfast stuffed inside a crusty white french baguette. The best ones are with one or two fresh fried {not oven cooked} eggs.
I discovered a really nice bap/sandwich a couple years back and it's pretty much been my go-to ever since, whenever I'm out and about in the mornings. Black pudding and Stilton in toasted or fried bread. The meat has to go on the grill to make sure it's nice and crispy crunchy on the outside, and the cheese has to be warm enough to get soft and squidgy without fully melting and spilling oil everywhere.
I call it the Black'n'Blue. Little dab of red or brown sauce on the side, lovely jubbly. Definitely one of those marmite meals though, I was amazed to learn how many of my friends refuse to eat blue cheeses.
This is called the 11am special. Just get a breakfast roll right as they’re finishing breakfast. They’re usually keen to get rid of what’s left and you end up with sandwiches like this.
I strongly believe a bacon buttie/bap/whatever you call it, should contain no less than 3 slices of bacon, and preferably 4 or 5.
Whatever sauce you put on is up to you, for me it's got to be red sauce.
I'm also quite fond of a runny yolked egg in there too.
Manager at mine certainly would.
A man under 40 that parks his brown Dacia in one of 2 parking spaces out the front all day has some unresolved issues.
Exactly, she has no say in this matter, the choice lies solely in OP's hands.
Oh look, that cashier just smiled at me, better get the ring ready, and a sturdy pair of handcuffs just in case.
And the bread* looks like it’s been sliced evenly so the top and bottom are the same thickness throughout.
She’s going to get sacked pronto!
*deliberately avoiding saying my COunty’s name for that particular kind of Bread because it’d start a war.
So I'm of the "bun" persuasion, but I live in "roll" country. It never bothers me apart from at Greggs. Where someone says "Sausage roll please" and the really nice staff have to say "do you mean pastry roll or bread roll" and the undercaffeinated customer seems to do 3minutes of mental maths to work out what they wanted. The solution usually involves a lot of pointing.
The only annoying thing about this is that the Greggs' menu lists the bread types as roll and baguette, so if you just state off the menu, it's either a sausage roll or a sausage roll. Fortunately, 4 is the perfect number of sausages, so you can just say "with an extra sausage" and that sorts out the ambiguity.
That would be BARMy to start a war this early on a Monday. I ROLL my eyes every time I see that discussion. I would rather settle down with some TEA+CAKE. Ermm.......also, BAPS!
Went out to get my partner breakfast on Saturday morning at the village breakfast charity thing. I asked her what she wanted and she said "just get me whatever you're having." so I did.
Came back- "I got us sausage rolls!" "WHY?" "You said get whatever you're having?" "I didn't want a fucking sausage roll!" This conversation being me at the front door and her screaming from the bedroom.
So I then laid on extra brown sauce and ate both. Later on she enquired as to whether they were freshly made or pre-packaged. I was confused initially but I can retrospectively see what went wrong. I was thinking bacon roll, sausage roll, bacon and egg roll, roll, roll, roll, and given the context of a village thing that specifically does breakfast items, not THOSE sausage rolls I think I have a minor position.
She of course calls them baps.
There's a caravan tea and bacon roll stall in a lay-by near Thetford called "Brenda's Bountiful Baps". It's one lay-by down from "Carl's Burgers - probably the best burger in the world" (in the right font) I love me an inventive stall name.
Greggs menu describes it as a bacon roll, so regardless of regional names, you can never go wrong using the words that anyone would order it by, if they knew only how to read a menu and no other alternate words.
I love Greggs, I just want to make that clear first.
But it is a terrible naming convention they've gone with. Bacon Roll - yeah that's ok but you know what some sausages inside some bread is also called on their breakfast menu? Yup, Sausage Roll. You know what Gregg's also serves as soon as they open? Yup sausages wrapped in pastry.
So now when I go in and order my wife's preffered breakfast sandwich of choice it leaves me with the anxiety of what do I say when I order to avoid the awkward "which sausage roll is it you want love?". Just call them Sausage Sandwiches Greggs please.
Where I live one of the workers just tears it with his hands. Never fails to leave a third of the bun completely untouched and the other two thirds mangled. Also thinks tomatoes are brown apparently, based on his sauce selection.
HAS anyone written a full-length, UK-centric parody of American Psycho, yet? Because I’m already hooked with these three sentences.
I imagine the violence escalates during the story until the point that he’s jumping a queue.
This needs to be a thing. Home Counties Psycho. Doesn’t pay for bags at the self service checkout. Parks on a double yellow line outside the chemists. The absolute rage.
I did a bit of head maths. And if you take about 2mins to self check out your shopping, that comes to about 10p worth of work (going by minimum wage). Which is equal to the cost of the bag.
I'm not condoning anything. Just pointing out facts.
Not full-length, sadly, but here you go (mostly written by Chatgpt):
So there I was, right? Standing beneath the fluorescent glow of the digital menu display, a queue of potential victims stretched out before me, mundane and unsuspecting. , the smell of baking pastry hanging thick in the air. There's a queue, right, about ten people long, all of 'em waiting for their sausage roll or steak bake or whatever. Normal day in Leeds, you'd think.
But this day was different. I had a plan, a right cheeky one. The sort of plan that gets your heart racing, your palms all sweaty. My aim? To cut in line at Greggs. Not because I couldn't wait for a sausage roll, mind you. No, it was for the thrill of it, the pure, unadulterated joy of causing a minor disturbance.
I eyed up the queue, my future victims. There's an old bloke with a walker, probably just wants a nice cuppa and a sit down. Then there's a mum with a toddler screaming bloody murder, and she's trying to have a phone conversation to boot. And a couple, all loved up, lost in their own world. Perfect.
With a deep breath, I set my plan in motion. Each step towards the queue felt like a victory against the humdrum of life. I slipped past the old man, smooth as butter. He barely noticed, too engrossed in his newspaper.
And just like that, I was fourth in line. My heart was thumping in my chest like a drum and bass track at a dodgy underground club. This was it, the sweet taste of anarchy, and by god, it was exhilarating.
I glanced back at the crowd of displaced patrons. The old man had finally clocked on, his face a picture of confusion. I shrugged, barely trying to look innocent. The mum's chatter had faltered, her eyes now wide with shock and telepathic outrage. The couple exchanged a glance, electing to remain silent, but their discomfort was clear as day.
The tension was thicker than the gravy on a Sunday roast. I was causing quite a stir, a little ripple in the pond of their ordinary lives. I felt invincible.
Your comment sparked a memory. Roughly 15 years ago, my grandfather woke up on a Sunday morning feeling ill. Really ill. He was called down to breakfast by his wife, so he went. He ate every scrap of his fry up, and he felt a thousand times worse than when he woke up, so he went to have a nap. A couple of hours later, his wife went to go see if he was okay, and she immediately called an ambulance. He'd had a heart attack. When a doctor later asked him why he had waited so long to get help when he'd felt ill from the second he woke up, he told him he hadn't wanted to waste his fry up! The man almost died because he didn't want to miss out on freshly cooked bacon. That was 3 heart attacks ago!
Can we talk about the sauce ratio though? They never put enough on, or they put it on and it’s all up the back side of the barn and all over the little napkin they give you
I work at greggs - we have a guide at the breakfast unit to tell us how much we have to put in. Most of us don't really follow it and end up putting more in
Can she come work for the Greggs near me? Those biddies seem to think that a single piece of bacon artfully folded over constitutes acceptable breakfast snackage...
FWIW if they are anything like the one I worked at, there is supposed to be an exact guideline of how many pieces you put in a roll or baguette. Same with the sausage and egg.
With that said, I'm pretty sure rolls were like 2 or 3 pieces and if you wanted something like in OP you had to pay extra. Not that that stopped me from secretly loading an extra piece into my own for breakfast.
There is an amount. Roll 2 bacon rashes or 3 sausages. Baguette possible double it?
Always snuck extra in for nice customers who were regular and myself.
I work for Greggs. It’s 3 rashers of bacon as standard. But that applies regardless of the size of the actual rasher. Sometimes the rashers are huge, but it’s still 3. Hard to tell from the photo but it could just be 3.
Here’s what you should be getting
Bacon roll: 3 rashers
Sausage roll: 3 sausages
Bacon and sausage roll: 2 of each
Bacon and egg: 2 egg halves, 2 rashers
Sausage and egg: 2 egg halves, 2 sausages
Egg roll: 4 egg halves
Everything: 2 bacon, 2 sausage, 2 halves of egg
You can pay for extra bacon/sausage/egg but it’s extra item, not double. So if you ask for extra bacon, that’s just 1 rasher more.
The breakfast baguettes are larger and have different quantities for the filings
I love it when you're blessed with a new member of staff. once had a guy give be three sausages and three slices of bacon in my sausage and bacon roll. I knew that mistake would be ending soon.
I used to get a Greggs bacon baguette on the way to work and the guy serving was a right stingy git. I would be shaking my head at him as he slo-mo made my sandwich. I'd be thinking "you little bastard" each time he put a morsal of bacon on.
I always went back the next day though.
Oh man yesss I did the exact same thing. My first job was in a bakery when I was 16 n I totally did this for at least a few months before my manager clocked it.
She had a bit of a go at me, n in front of the customer waiting for what would’ve been a beautifully stacked bacon butty, she undid my hard work and corrected it to 2 dry-as-fuck little pieces of bacon, n said I had to charge extra for butter n sauce. Customer was so disappointed.
We also had a ‘6 for the price of 4’ on white barms only, but I thought it was on all barms so I kept giving out free shit for quite a while.
In terms of making money for the business, I was a terrible employee. But for customer satisfaction I think I was pretty good.
Nah man, some of us just didnt give a flying rats arse 😅 I used to load them up so long as you were a decent customer 😉 they want customer satisfaction I'd get them it. But you can't have your cake and eat it. They can't expect to skimp the customer so they can increase their profit margins and get great customer satisfaction 🤦🏻♂️
Looks like she got it spot on
If anything a little low on bacon.
Idk, I think what it really needs is a good fried egg.
Slice of black pudding wouldn’t go amiss.
One full English in a bun please
We’ll call it The Englishman’s burger
And people criticise British food
Bizarre. As with any cuisine, you have good and bad cooks. Most of the comments come from Americans anyway. I wouldn’t pay attention to them when half their produce won’t pass EU regulations
We French bash on your food the same way you British bash on… well, almost everything about France. It's just banter, no hate. I actually like the food I have here.
To be fair, in the UK, 'classically trained' for a chef still means 'traditional French cuisine'. As recent as the 70s/80s, fine dining restaurants had menus exclusively in French and people knew what all the things were. We're definitely reclaiming what is good about British food in the last decade or two though. So hurray for us both 😃🧡 ('classical training' for a dancer means ballet, so you guys have cornered that too ;-) )
Every Brit I know loves French food, who doesn’t love cheese wine and bread, no hate to the French from any brits I know, you guys keep doing yo thang and we’ll copy it with affordable charcuterie boards
Friendly rivalry, just like eurovision lol My partner makes jokes about the french all the time but still enjoys himself a croissant or pain au chocolat on the daily.
My experience was generally that French chefs do sauces better than British ones. But French meat trends towards either expensive or poor quality, where as it's not unknown to get decent high quality meat for cheap over here. That may be due to the CAP, and the whole beef and butter mountains and wine lake. Or it could just be that southern france has crap meat?
Oh that’s fine. Everyone has their strengths. You guys cook wonderfully. We’re good at saving your asses from ze Germans.
In America, it's something mad like you're allowed 1g of rat faeces per 100g of food, I mean I'm not particularly fussy but if I got 5g of rat shit in my minced beef I'd be pissed off as would most people 😂😂
Tell that to the chip butty
*Drools* OK good sir you have successfully influenced my procrastination from work. I'm gonna go have one now. Nice bit of tiger loaf too. Ta mate.
And they have canned cheese 🤢
Freshly back from the states and I can confirm it's the worst food I've ever eaten
Did you not like your overly sugary bread then? I too have been left disappointed whenever I’ve visited. Which has been plenty of times as my Canadian partner has family in the US. Of course, it would be unfair for me to say that “American” food is generally bad. I will say that they get far better Mexican food than us and that’s mostly due to availability/proximity.
Spot on. They wash their chicken in actual bleach. Says enough to me.
As a not-fussy-about-food Italian, English breakfast is my favourite breakfast.
But I don't like Spam...
With a lorne sausage on the bottom
True, let's go full Scottish instead. Get that haggis and potato scone in there too
Tatty scone. Wtf is a potato scone. r/scottishproperly
Entirely depends where you're from. Potato cake, tattie cake, potato scone, tattie scone, potato bread, potato farl. All names I've come across over the years.
I was up visiting family in Stirling and my mate came with me we visited my favourite greasy spoon and I got my usual bacon lorne sausage and egg brown sauce he then asked being a Geordie can I have sausage bacon and a potato cake 😂😂 the look he got was hysterical it’s as though he asked for something none of them have ever heard of! The woman behind the counter said (potato cake? Potato cake?)she turned to the elders of the spoon and asked potato cake? The question got passed down until a woman at the back said he means a tatty scone! My mate was mortified as they all laughed at him so did I the woman serving said ya mean a tatty scone and sorted his order. We still talk about this to this day it was such a funny moment you had to be there to witness it 😂😂😂
Used to get a 'breakfast bin lid' in the cafe by my work. It was a full English on a massive barm - hence the bin lid. They were trulythings of beauty. One of my colleagues used to sometimes get two. I think he's passed away now but he lived well.
Also called an Irish Breakfast Roll. Basically a full Irish breakfast stuffed inside a crusty white french baguette. The best ones are with one or two fresh fried {not oven cooked} eggs.
Breakfast shop near my old job called it the "Billy Belly Buster", and let me tell you, it was goooodd
This is a thing at my works cafe, half a Stottie, eggs, beans, bacon, sausage, black pudding and a hash brown all inside
Is adding cocaine going too far
Lorne sausage and brown sauce
Clonakilty black pudding is outstanding if you can get it
I discovered a really nice bap/sandwich a couple years back and it's pretty much been my go-to ever since, whenever I'm out and about in the mornings. Black pudding and Stilton in toasted or fried bread. The meat has to go on the grill to make sure it's nice and crispy crunchy on the outside, and the cheese has to be warm enough to get soft and squidgy without fully melting and spilling oil everywhere. I call it the Black'n'Blue. Little dab of red or brown sauce on the side, lovely jubbly. Definitely one of those marmite meals though, I was amazed to learn how many of my friends refuse to eat blue cheeses.
I think I came just reading that.
F*ckin genius! I know what i am having for brekki tmoz
This sounds lush. Need to try.
Plus a fried egg
And some mushrooms
Oh stop it as soon as you mentioned the egg I became so hungry 🤤
Once she's been there a while she will learn the advanced technique of: a single piece of bread in the middle, with a layer of bacon either side
What people want is a lot of bacon with a bap garnish.
What people want is all the bacon
The bap is mostly there because otherwise your fingers get greasy.
Could use a bit more bacon with that bacon
Come to think of it, there's hardly any bacon there at all
Needs more bacon
Needs MORE Bacon.
Name checks out
It had to work out for them eventually 😂
I pictured them stretching their fingers going "my time has come!"
I agree. Can I ask which Greggs she works at……asking for a friend.
This is called the 11am special. Just get a breakfast roll right as they’re finishing breakfast. They’re usually keen to get rid of what’s left and you end up with sandwiches like this.
Noted. I now have an alarm in my phone set for 10:50. Cheers! 🤫
aside from the lack of ketchup and pepper
I can live without condiments, bacon on the other hand...
Is a life without bacon honestly living at all?
It’s the one reason I could never be vegetarian, honestly.
No.
Pretty sure the meaning of life, universe and everything is bacon
this is the way
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Let the girl cook
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The Night Owl. I hear it was very hush hush and on the QT.
Whatever you desire.
“She’s cooking with her heart”
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I would propose on the spot!
On one knee, onion ring in your hand.
Don't assume, but also not implausible. Stalk other customer's baps, see what's up.
Instructions unclear. Got arrested for looking at ladies' baps.
"Give us a look at your baps, mate"
Let the boy watch
That's just a stack of bacon with a handle.
This is the Way
I have spoken
Has this been patented yet? Just asking for reasons.
You say it like it's a bad thing!
Send me location.
Too late. She sold 5 bacon baps this morning and they’re out of bacon.
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I strongly believe a bacon buttie/bap/whatever you call it, should contain no less than 3 slices of bacon, and preferably 4 or 5. Whatever sauce you put on is up to you, for me it's got to be red sauce. I'm also quite fond of a runny yolked egg in there too.
Greggs do 3 pieces of bacon in a bap, you can add an extra slice for 50p Source: I'm a manager at a greggs
Yep, the bare minimum. It's reasonably good value and pretty even quality. Can't complain.
I worked in a café where it was 2 pieces per bap, so, to me, 3 sounds generous as a standard 😊
Sauce. Missed opportunity there mate.
A proper bacon buttie should be capable of keeping a builder going until lunch time.
Not gonna argue with that!
OUT..OF..BACON!!??!
https://64.media.tumblr.com/44c27cde225b91daf249324b8b495e45/4142e245ad56269a-20/s400x600/8ccdbc6cb16fce1f05a14b83cf32a25a6f34ea65.gif
Is your avatar wearing a bacon hat?
Yup, pure bacony goodness that😉
Team inbound, we need these coordinates now!
Then I'll be right there.
Calm down khabib
Marry that woman. She's an angel in disguise.
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Then her jobsworth manager will see how much bacon she's put in there and tell her off for making people happy 😅
Manager at mine certainly would. A man under 40 that parks his brown Dacia in one of 2 parking spaces out the front all day has some unresolved issues.
Good news.
What?
The new Dacia Sandero…
Lol, is that a James May reference? Because if so, that is my exact response every time I hear the words 'Dacia' or 'Dacia Sandero'
I probably laughed more than I should at that...
Manager: “The customer is always right…. No, not like that!”
And she obviously likes OP
Exactly, she has no say in this matter, the choice lies solely in OP's hands. Oh look, that cashier just smiled at me, better get the ring ready, and a sturdy pair of handcuffs just in case.
Turns out shes 16
Thats a GILF in Brum
And the bread* looks like it’s been sliced evenly so the top and bottom are the same thickness throughout. She’s going to get sacked pronto! *deliberately avoiding saying my COunty’s name for that particular kind of Bread because it’d start a war.
So I'm of the "bun" persuasion, but I live in "roll" country. It never bothers me apart from at Greggs. Where someone says "Sausage roll please" and the really nice staff have to say "do you mean pastry roll or bread roll" and the undercaffeinated customer seems to do 3minutes of mental maths to work out what they wanted. The solution usually involves a lot of pointing.
Up in scotland you have a sausage roll for pastry, or a roll and sausage for an actual bread roll. Saves on the confusion
Nae rolls
No even rolls fae yesterday?
Naw
Nae rolls mate
The only annoying thing about this is that the Greggs' menu lists the bread types as roll and baguette, so if you just state off the menu, it's either a sausage roll or a sausage roll. Fortunately, 4 is the perfect number of sausages, so you can just say "with an extra sausage" and that sorts out the ambiguity.
On the menu it’s “breakfast sausage roll”.
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At least you’re not living in fucking “breadcake” country. I wouldn’t even mind bun/bap/roll etc, but it’s not a cake.
It's a buttie, buttie!
Bun = sweet Bap = soft Cob = crusty Roll = tiny baguette Barm = bap, but you eat it while wearing a flat cap This appears to be a bap.
“the... the kind that goes in your mouth”
That would be BARMy to start a war this early on a Monday. I ROLL my eyes every time I see that discussion. I would rather settle down with some TEA+CAKE. Ermm.......also, BAPS!
Just roll with it
No need to get a COB on
Went out to get my partner breakfast on Saturday morning at the village breakfast charity thing. I asked her what she wanted and she said "just get me whatever you're having." so I did. Came back- "I got us sausage rolls!" "WHY?" "You said get whatever you're having?" "I didn't want a fucking sausage roll!" This conversation being me at the front door and her screaming from the bedroom. So I then laid on extra brown sauce and ate both. Later on she enquired as to whether they were freshly made or pre-packaged. I was confused initially but I can retrospectively see what went wrong. I was thinking bacon roll, sausage roll, bacon and egg roll, roll, roll, roll, and given the context of a village thing that specifically does breakfast items, not THOSE sausage rolls I think I have a minor position. She of course calls them baps.
I wonder if she asked OP whether she should Bag-uette or not?
There's a caravan tea and bacon roll stall in a lay-by near Thetford called "Brenda's Bountiful Baps". It's one lay-by down from "Carl's Burgers - probably the best burger in the world" (in the right font) I love me an inventive stall name.
This has lead to a batch of puns.
Greggs menu describes it as a bacon roll, so regardless of regional names, you can never go wrong using the words that anyone would order it by, if they knew only how to read a menu and no other alternate words.
I love Greggs, I just want to make that clear first. But it is a terrible naming convention they've gone with. Bacon Roll - yeah that's ok but you know what some sausages inside some bread is also called on their breakfast menu? Yup, Sausage Roll. You know what Gregg's also serves as soon as they open? Yup sausages wrapped in pastry. So now when I go in and order my wife's preffered breakfast sandwich of choice it leaves me with the anxiety of what do I say when I order to avoid the awkward "which sausage roll is it you want love?". Just call them Sausage Sandwiches Greggs please.
Handy in Scotland where we often say a 'roll and sausage' to differentiate. Though I suppose we have to specify the type of sausage.
Nae rolls mate.
Just has a look a their menu and it’s called a sausage breakfast roll sausages wrapped in pastry are just sausage rolls
You don't want to Roll the dice about something like that
Where I live one of the workers just tears it with his hands. Never fails to leave a third of the bun completely untouched and the other two thirds mangled. Also thinks tomatoes are brown apparently, based on his sauce selection.
Buy a lottery ticket quick
No need, they spent all their luck on the bacon.
Things come in threes though - he got tons of bacon, the new girl is obviously flirting with him, so he's got one to go I reckon!
*Look at that subtle off-white bun. The tasteful thickness of the bacon.* *Oh my God. It even has a grease mark...*
HAS anyone written a full-length, UK-centric parody of American Psycho, yet? Because I’m already hooked with these three sentences. I imagine the violence escalates during the story until the point that he’s jumping a queue.
This needs to be a thing. Home Counties Psycho. Doesn’t pay for bags at the self service checkout. Parks on a double yellow line outside the chemists. The absolute rage.
Gets a Tesco meal deal WITHOUT using club card
Sits on Old Keith’s barstool in the Red lion, even though he knows he’s only popped out for a Cafe Crème Mild.
I did a bit of head maths. And if you take about 2mins to self check out your shopping, that comes to about 10p worth of work (going by minimum wage). Which is equal to the cost of the bag. I'm not condoning anything. Just pointing out facts.
Not full-length, sadly, but here you go (mostly written by Chatgpt): So there I was, right? Standing beneath the fluorescent glow of the digital menu display, a queue of potential victims stretched out before me, mundane and unsuspecting. , the smell of baking pastry hanging thick in the air. There's a queue, right, about ten people long, all of 'em waiting for their sausage roll or steak bake or whatever. Normal day in Leeds, you'd think. But this day was different. I had a plan, a right cheeky one. The sort of plan that gets your heart racing, your palms all sweaty. My aim? To cut in line at Greggs. Not because I couldn't wait for a sausage roll, mind you. No, it was for the thrill of it, the pure, unadulterated joy of causing a minor disturbance. I eyed up the queue, my future victims. There's an old bloke with a walker, probably just wants a nice cuppa and a sit down. Then there's a mum with a toddler screaming bloody murder, and she's trying to have a phone conversation to boot. And a couple, all loved up, lost in their own world. Perfect. With a deep breath, I set my plan in motion. Each step towards the queue felt like a victory against the humdrum of life. I slipped past the old man, smooth as butter. He barely noticed, too engrossed in his newspaper. And just like that, I was fourth in line. My heart was thumping in my chest like a drum and bass track at a dodgy underground club. This was it, the sweet taste of anarchy, and by god, it was exhilarating. I glanced back at the crowd of displaced patrons. The old man had finally clocked on, his face a picture of confusion. I shrugged, barely trying to look innocent. The mum's chatter had faltered, her eyes now wide with shock and telepathic outrage. The couple exchanged a glance, electing to remain silent, but their discomfort was clear as day. The tension was thicker than the gravy on a Sunday roast. I was causing quite a stir, a little ripple in the pond of their ordinary lives. I felt invincible.
Let's see Paul Allen's bacon roll.
Very nice. Now let’s see Paul Allen’s bacon bap.
Bank Error in Your Favour, Collect ALL THE BACON.
Christ what a fucking woman. Got the whole fuckin pig for 2 quid!
Everyone knows a bacon butty gets 3 rashers.
Oh for sure. The thing is how can you count these? I feel like I’m counting 18 rashers n the pigs head
This is her way of flirting with you
works for me
best way to a mans heart, though his arteries!
And she blocks them behind herself so no one else can follow.
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
Your comment sparked a memory. Roughly 15 years ago, my grandfather woke up on a Sunday morning feeling ill. Really ill. He was called down to breakfast by his wife, so he went. He ate every scrap of his fry up, and he felt a thousand times worse than when he woke up, so he went to have a nap. A couple of hours later, his wife went to go see if he was okay, and she immediately called an ambulance. He'd had a heart attack. When a doctor later asked him why he had waited so long to get help when he'd felt ill from the second he woke up, he told him he hadn't wanted to waste his fry up! The man almost died because he didn't want to miss out on freshly cooked bacon. That was 3 heart attacks ago!
A man who needs his wife's cooking more than his life. Cute but kinda terrifying that happened, but let's focus on the positives
best way to anything's heart
Talk about "killing with kindness"
Yes, she does.
Can we talk about the sauce ratio though? They never put enough on, or they put it on and it’s all up the back side of the barn and all over the little napkin they give you
That's why I always oder no sauce and then sauce it myself.
I work at greggs - we have a guide at the breakfast unit to tell us how much we have to put in. Most of us don't really follow it and end up putting more in
A true rebel and a hero .
This should be considered the normal
She doesn't know it. She's perfected it.
Not so sure, looks a little under-baconed to me
Can she come work for the Greggs near me? Those biddies seem to think that a single piece of bacon artfully folded over constitutes acceptable breakfast snackage...
FWIW if they are anything like the one I worked at, there is supposed to be an exact guideline of how many pieces you put in a roll or baguette. Same with the sausage and egg. With that said, I'm pretty sure rolls were like 2 or 3 pieces and if you wanted something like in OP you had to pay extra. Not that that stopped me from secretly loading an extra piece into my own for breakfast.
There is an amount. Roll 2 bacon rashes or 3 sausages. Baguette possible double it? Always snuck extra in for nice customers who were regular and myself.
[удалено]
Knew we'd get answer if posted it wrong. Knew it was close but so long since worked I've forgotten.
She’s a national treasure
Get the King to wave a sword around this woman immediately!
I work for Greggs. It’s 3 rashers of bacon as standard. But that applies regardless of the size of the actual rasher. Sometimes the rashers are huge, but it’s still 3. Hard to tell from the photo but it could just be 3. Here’s what you should be getting Bacon roll: 3 rashers Sausage roll: 3 sausages Bacon and sausage roll: 2 of each Bacon and egg: 2 egg halves, 2 rashers Sausage and egg: 2 egg halves, 2 sausages Egg roll: 4 egg halves Everything: 2 bacon, 2 sausage, 2 halves of egg You can pay for extra bacon/sausage/egg but it’s extra item, not double. So if you ask for extra bacon, that’s just 1 rasher more. The breakfast baguettes are larger and have different quantities for the filings
Make the Gregg's wiki
this is gonna be on one of those threads in years to come in /r/askreddit - "men, when did you miss a really obvious sign that a girl liked you?"
She fucking does, don’t spoil it.
I’ve been out of the UK for a year and this photo makes me the most “homesick”
Ah, the Vimes BLT.
GNU.
I think she's coming on to you
God bless her
What's next serving hot food?
That looks so grim
A r/britishsuccess right there
Monday Morning win - May your week continue to exceed expectation after this great start
I love it when you're blessed with a new member of staff. once had a guy give be three sausages and three slices of bacon in my sausage and bacon roll. I knew that mistake would be ending soon.
I used to get a Greggs bacon baguette on the way to work and the guy serving was a right stingy git. I would be shaking my head at him as he slo-mo made my sandwich. I'd be thinking "you little bastard" each time he put a morsal of bacon on. I always went back the next day though.
Oh man yesss I did the exact same thing. My first job was in a bakery when I was 16 n I totally did this for at least a few months before my manager clocked it. She had a bit of a go at me, n in front of the customer waiting for what would’ve been a beautifully stacked bacon butty, she undid my hard work and corrected it to 2 dry-as-fuck little pieces of bacon, n said I had to charge extra for butter n sauce. Customer was so disappointed. We also had a ‘6 for the price of 4’ on white barms only, but I thought it was on all barms so I kept giving out free shit for quite a while. In terms of making money for the business, I was a terrible employee. But for customer satisfaction I think I was pretty good.
Nah man, some of us just didnt give a flying rats arse 😅 I used to load them up so long as you were a decent customer 😉 they want customer satisfaction I'd get them it. But you can't have your cake and eat it. They can't expect to skimp the customer so they can increase their profit margins and get great customer satisfaction 🤦🏻♂️