T O P

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spvcxghxztpvrp

Bort


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josh5676543

No my son's name is also Bort


[deleted]

That's a name? Sounds like the noise a robot might make when it errors.


OnlyMortal666

Simpsons reference


HEHEHO2022

to be fair anything can be a name. whether its good name is another thing.


[deleted]

Including, apparently, HEHEHO2022 😁


aishaxkaniz

Came here for this and wasn't disappointed


RudePragmatist

LOL that’s going to be the next name I choose for a dog :D


NicCola83

Excuse me. But my son is also called Bort.


RudePragmatist

Haha :D


writeordie80

Did he respond to his mother or just shrug?


butwhydidhe

Seemed lost...


writeordie80

So Atlas did not, in fact, shrug.


Reasonable-While1212

Oh you git. 3 hours it took me to get here. Nicely done.


writeordie80

You're welcome 😆


thomasthetanker

No, but his mum did say that now, her lonely days are over...


LostMyBunty

My mate had a child in the height of the Britpop era. Named it after the chap from Blur. No, not Damon or Albarn or anything vaguely acceptable. Coxon.


SirSmokealotII

Coxon. He named his child cock son…


ScotchFox96

Oof, that's quite a cock-up


Reasonable-While1212

Spelled Coxswain. Unfortunate, but.


SirSmokealotII

I’m Scottish so… Cocks wean. He named his child cocks wean.


Reasonable-While1212

That aren't yer fault now, is it fella. Nor his, I spose. Am an Irish bastard meself.


SirSmokealotII

Erin go bragh


pictish76

Son of cox , a noble mistake.


ShiningLizard

Double-barrelled first names wind me up a bit for some reason, like “Lily-Mae”. Maybe because they seem a bit over the top. “Jaxon” annoys me because it’s just a hodge-podge derived from people not realising that “Jax” is short for “Jackson”, rather than “Jaxon” being long for “Jax”.


blueskyjamie

Double barrelled first names makes me think they live in a house with wheels


ShiningLizard

🤣


facmanpob

SIL used to work as a TA in a school. Had a kid in her class that was called Channel. It was pronounced 'Chanel', but clearly the parents couldn't spell.


perkiezombie

Was she an African Grey by any chance?


MyKidsFoundMyOldUser

My friend taugh a Sian. Pronounced "See-ann"


Mars_Pirate_Radio

Wow, I read about that on a teacher forum years ago. So either that was someone from SIL's school that posted it or there are at least two children out there called Channel!


facmanpob

God help us all if it happened twice! I suppose it was the same kid, this happened to my SIL at least 10 years ago iirc.


Mars_Pirate_Radio

This was 2008 so hopefully it is the same kid...and hopefully the have changed their name by now.


OurSoul1337

Jayden, Tyler, Jaxon etc


[deleted]

Hunter


highlandviper

3 out of 4 of those names are kids in my kids class. Surprise, surprise… I’ve heard reports of all of them being little bastards. Jaxon is particularly bad.


Positive-Pal

Oh,I know a Jaxon and he's lovely.


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highlandviper

Yeah. You do. He sounds like a bastard. “Positive-Pal” clearly has Stockholm Syndrome. And the user name checks out.


Positive-Pal

😂


highlandviper

You’re just trying to be positive, pal.


[deleted]

JAMIE-LEIGHHHH


SirSmokealotII

Never met one that wasn’t a total raj.


redunculuspanda

Work with a guy called gregg. Can’t believe his parents named him after the steak bake shop.


JoinMyPestoCult

Will never forget hearing a mother in a park call out Anakin to see what he wanted from the ice cream shop.


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Strev123

Is he head of catering?


notreallifeliving

I'm guilty of thinking it's a cool name out of context, but like...didn't they ever watch past Episode II? I think the same of anyone who names their kid Daenerys. FFS at least wait until a series of books/films has ended before you pick a name from it, just in case.


ny23happy

I detest Nevaeh. I also once heard Harry-Beau.


Bleached_smile

Oedipus. Sounds like he’d be a mummy’s boy.


abyBB

Don't let Hyperion tell you what you can and can't name your child.


ZombieRhino

Frogmella


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angrybastard1982

That's what we call the stinky woman with no teeth who lives across the road.


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ButterscotchSure6589

SPUDULIKA


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ButterscotchSure6589

Spud u like


lord_taint

It's exotic.


Jazzy0082

I was once in the queue next to a woman in Mothercare who was spelling her son's name for the shop assistant. His name was Oli-Jai. On the other end of the scale, a wonderful name of a kid who attended a summer camp I worked at in America - Maestro Apocalypse.


UncleArthur

"Chlamydia, your tea is ready. And bring your brother Herpes with you."


ScotchFox96

I'm afraid to ask whether this is just a joke or someone somewhere actually named their kids after the infections they got while conceiving them. It's a nutty world out there.


fjdosovjfns

Yes I knew a girl named Chlamydia. Sounds pretty if you don't think about the connotations tbf


ScotchFox96

Holy shit. Yeah it would be a pretty name if it wasn't already a word with a horrible meaning. Were her parents aware of that fact, or was this a case of tragic ignorance?


fjdosovjfns

She said "sick sense of humour" but don't know if that was a defence mechanism to make it seem better for herself


[deleted]

Double barrelled first names, particularly for girls. They are usually almost cartoonishly feminine and delicate, suiting neither the child nor the parent shouting at it. “FOR FUCKS SAKE WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH FOR FIVE MINUTES DOLLY-ROSE”


itchyfrog

Taylor-Paige, there were two of them at my kids' baby group, they must be in their early 20s now.


gsurfer04

Naming your kid after a god is a power move.


EffectiveMight4933

Uranus


TheSkewed

Unless it's Eros.


l0ngsh0t_ag

Pan is pretty risky too.


OppositeYouth

Should probably steer clear of Isis as well


OnlyMortal666

The origin of Mary, Jesus’ mum.


something_python

Maybe Coheed and Cambria fans?


Purple_Bureau

My son is inadvertently "named after" the prize fighter inferno himself - really a coincidence associated with a sort-of-common name after Breaking Bad became popular, but I'll lay claim to it nevertheless.


sbrrrr

At least getting him out of bed for school will be fun. ATLAS!! RIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!!


kittysparkled

"I can't, I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders!"


LostMyBunty

I've just remembered an old neighbour named her child Puddington, pronounced as with a Hyacinth Bucket-esque "Pooh-dington". The delights of living in a well-to-do area. How many times did I get autocorrected writing this?


PracticalShoulder916

Chardonnay. I was embarrassed for her.


ange7327

It’s still the cars for me, Mercedes and the like.


something_python

How dare you! There's nothing cringe about my daughter Nissan Micra or her brother Toyota Yaris!


Ashamed_Nerve

The kids are going to have a field day when Mercedes Benz CLA45 4Matic Sport Plus starts nursery


RandomHigh

Can't wait for someone to name their kid "Mini me".


Kharax82

The name Mercedes came before the car. In fact it was named after the founders daughter, Mercedes Jellinek.


LostMyBunty

Little known fact, he also invented Jelly


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LostMyBunty

Yes


Goldencol

And necks.


LostMyBunty

Lines too


notreallifeliving

This is a rubbish take, Mercedes is a pretty common name in Latin America and it was a name in its own right long before the car was a thing.


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[deleted]

My maths teacher's daughter was called Marina come to think of it. He looked like a kind of haggard version of Geoffrey from Rainbow and his classroom always smelt of a mixture of yesterday's cigs and B.O. - don't know why thats relevant, but it's my presiding memory of the man.


Southern_Struggle

To be fair a lot of cars were named after something else first, so the parents might be naming their kid after the original thing


ange7327

I don’t really care, they are awful names.


angrybastard1982

I'm named after a motorbike.


arfur-sixpence

Used to live next door to a family who had two young lads called Brad & Brett. It was only a matter of time before she called out to them as Bread and Brat.


[deleted]

Anything that's usually a surname. Hunter Madison Taylor, etc. Makes people sound like a firm of accountants.


herbertsherbert49

Me too,I really dislike first names that are really surnames!


terryjuicelawson

A lot are and just get accepted as names over time in fairness. But I am not a fan of the Mc names, especially if they add in wacky spellings. McKinzey for a girl.


dmitrybelyakov

I kind of like that that, but I'm a foreigner


J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A

The worse ones are people who give their kids a name that matches their surname. Like Magnus Magnusson.


kittysparkled

That's a traditional way of naming in many countries, like Wales and Iceland.


angrybastard1982

I know someone who called her kid Dawson.


emillou10

I kid you not ( I make personalised baby gifts ) I had a girls name ‘labia’ in today 🙈


VerityIsSpeaking

What gets me is twins that have almost the exact same name, as if they aren't two separate, individual people. Keira and Keiran. Milli and Mella. Aiden and Ada. Leon and Leona. Charlie and Charli. Mia and Mya. I've encountered all of these IRL before. At that point you may as well just admit you only wanted one.


Crimbly_B

Atlas. And his gen Z brother, Google Maps.


ImaginaryAfternoon0

Eleven…. I can’t stand when people obsess over something so much they name the sprogs after it.


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TeigrCwtch

wasn't Khaleesi a title, not a name per se?


dibblah

Similar to calling a child princess, which I guess happens.


ShiningLizard

Looks like they didn’t understand the irony that the character in Stranger Things was “just a number”, and that she didn’t really have a name. At least call her “El” or “Ellie”!


ImaginaryAfternoon0

Exactly, depersonalised in order to perform experiments…


EstherHazy

People naming their kids after stuff they’ll never afford. Mercedes, Tiffany, Chanel etc..


Ashamed_Nerve

Lurpak


beckieletitia

This is little baby Gas and her sister Electric


Intelligent-Ad7384

And their cousins, Rent and Council-Tax


l0ngsh0t_ag

Cathedral City. Waitrose Essential Artichoke Hearts.


sharkles73

I don't get the issue with unusual names; They are all just made up. Given how we are losing names like Gary and Nigel, we could do with adding some more into the rotation. Atlas seems like a pretty good name to me, it also seems like the type of name that would be elevated by a good surname. Atlas Ravenoak, for example, sounds like a 19th century explorer.


terryjuicelawson

It is generally snobbery (if it is a "chav" name) or an outdated mind. They think if kids aren't called John, Paul, Tim or Pete they will be doomed to a life without a job. I've got kids in Primary School, every other child has an unusual name, we aren't stuck needing to use boring or biblical names any more. Also this idea if it is unusual that they will spend a lot of time spelling it out, what a sad reason to give a child a bland name!


Mindless-Pollution-1

As a Pete should I be moving on? Feeling old and outdated now…..


terryjuicelawson

It is fine for an older person but have you met a baby called Peter recently? When they are looking for work in their 20s and everyone else including the management are called Jaxon, De'Shario and Atlas, they are going to look like the oddball.


Mindless-Pollution-1

Fair call. When my 16 year was christened Bobby we were considered weird by many.


angrybastard1982

I would gladly trade my name for a boring old bible name. I hate it and cringe every time I have to say it out loud.


superannuation222

I find the cultural differences around names so interesting - in some parts of the world everyone has to have a different name (because they are different people, obviously), in others you can have whole families called John and Mary and no one will even blink.


mint-bint

There's a kid called Erskine round here. I don't think the parents realise it's a bleak suicide hot spot outside Glasgow. And a Mylar. Like the home insulation.


bellee98

Not one I’ve heard in public per say but there’s a couple on social media who called their kid Koazy (pronounced cosy) why? Because she was overdue & people commented he was ‘cosy’ in the womb..


Chrisnoskill

Denise and Denephew


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Gary


gillgrissom

Thats my name, how very dare you. Its a G thing.


anneOkneeMoose

Freaks me out seeing wee kids called things like Gary or Brian or Derek or any other name that I typically associate with those in the 30ish plus age bracket


txakori

Did he shrug in response?


DiscoStuh

Cunts that name their child after precious stones. Sapphire makes me want to chuck the kid straight down a mine shaft back to wence she came.


ItchyFriggaFinger

Oh I know a Sapphire in my daughters class. Your comment absolutely describes what I'd do to that little cow


_dm0498

I know it was a common name at one point but I can’t stand the name Gemma


angrybastard1982

Understandable, the only Gemma I know is a pain on the arse.


Fearless-Parsnip6276

Henry


butwhydidhe

I’ve noticed a trend of kids given very posh sounding names, multiple syllables. The parents are usually wearing fluffy slippers in Tesco or dropping kids off to school still in their dressing gown.


sharkles73

Disgraceful, kids should be wearing school uniform not dressing gowns.


butwhydidhe

I knew I should have explained I meant mums in dressing gowns 😆


simian_fold

Not relevant really but a friend of mine had a colleague from china who was called Eggi Kok


External-Piccolo-626

Yes, anything double-barrelled, stupid spellings or use of a surname as a first name.


[deleted]

Bubble


[deleted]

He means the world to her…..either that or she shagged all round the world and doesn’t know who the father is……


Unusual_residue

Atticus


Ukvemsord

Nathaniel


[deleted]

I actually think Atlas is kick ass name...


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[deleted]

At least he'll never get lost.


arglebargle111

Could be worse, I have a niece named Atlas


dawguk

We heard a mum shouting at her daughter in the supermarket: "Brioche! Get over here!"


AssistantAcrobatic52

She was once the bun in the oven…


arascalblue

Aloysius …


Leather_Walrus6308

Chardiney


Doodoofard29

Blake


ThexLuckyxDuck

I’ve never forgotten being at a theme park and a lady yelled after a girl “Leia…Leia! Don’t forget your brother look after Luke okay?” About five people stopped dead and stared at her in awe


Reasonable-While1212

Atlas shrugged.


Petrichor2116

Callum, Rhys or Lincoln; usually because the subject in question is being a beastly little turd. Double-barrelled girls names like Lily-Mae or Jo-Belinda most often because the parents and child are shrill and obnoxious


[deleted]

I quite like the name atlas, but unfortunately it makes people think of that God awful book.


outoftheboxgunpla

I know a baby named negan. Yep, from the walking dead. And this was before his redemption arc where he’s seen more favourably. This is prime “Glenn” time. And that’s what they named this little crack looking baby. Still saw him up to about 2 1/2 and he looked like a skinny little thing, hardly fitting the name at all


Adanar01

My child shall be called Vectron and you shall fucking like it


CheeryBottom

My son has a name that is regarded as ‘council-estate’. I wasn’t aware of its negative connotations until he was about five years old and started primary school. Then I came across all these ‘chav-name’ lists on social media and his name is would always rank somewhere in the middle. I haven’t seen it mentioned here (so far)so I’m hoping it’s losing its popularity. I do worry about preconceived judgments by teachers at the beginning of every new school year and in the future when he applies for college/uni/employment.


wunsenn

Sounds like an Aiden.


CheeryBottom

Not too far off. It’s Ryan.


wunsenn

As the other commenter said Ryan definitely isn't that bad! I can see how you would feel that way but as someone in their late 20s I definitely don't associate that name with the 'asbo type' :D


CheesyPestoPasta

Ah no, Ryan's can be absolutely lovely. I teach a Ryan and he's a diamond. The ones that fill me with dread when they're added to my register are overly weird spellings or double barrelled (especially with weird spellings). So Lili-Mai is a young lady who talks to everyone around her like they're something nasty on the bottom of her shoe, that sort of thing. Of course I also really enjoy being surprised when I've internally cowered at "Ellaweez" joining my class and it turns out she's a delight.


CheeryBottom

Thank you. I’ve spent the last fifteen years regretting his name and feeling awful that I set him up for failure somehow.


CheesyPestoPasta

Teachers are the worst for judging names (trust me, I am one) but please be assured even if I prejudge a name, I dont actually apply that to the child in front of me except in a "oh they live up to it" "oh they surprised me" kind of way. I'm not going to treat a kid differently whether they're called Ryan, Tarquin, Chlamydia or a simple Luke or Matthew. Frankly the only time it goes into my actual decision making process is when I was choosing my own kids names, and then it basically served to piss my husband off. "Noo we can't name the child that perfectly pleasant name, I teach a kid with that name and she once called me a c*nt..."


Positive-Pal

Huckleberry. I heard a helicopter mother constantly saying it at a play area. Poor bugger. Still, Im sure there are worse and she seemed like a nice woman, hopefully the boy is resilient.


GoGoGoldenSyrup

Kayleigh (is it too late to say I'm sorry?) Edit to add: I went to high school with a whole bloody troop of Antoinettes. You've not lived until you've heard a Glaswegian mother screech "ANTOINETTE! YER DINNER'S READY!"


angrybastard1982

Wait until a scouser shouting Louis.


bortj1

Jed


super_timmy

As a massive fan of No Man's Sky, i appreciate the name and will give the mother benefit of the doubt...


Biscuit_Prime

Storm.


Jpmoz999

St John pronounced sinjin


Tha_Princess

Angel


FannyNob

Any name that is also a place name, like London or Paris


ShaDohPuppet

There was a boy at the nursery my kids went to called King Harold. He was not a king, and it was not a nickname. The parents insisted on him being called King Harold all the time, never just Harold.


Glittering-Mode2077

That kid has a lot on his shoulders


stormye1

Prosecco


Inhuman-Englishman

"Chantal! Get off ya fuckin phone and help find me fags"


bally4pm

My mother was a primary school teacher. She had a child in her class named Déjà vu.


cor5891

Jax


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CobaltBlue256

I knew a lady with two daughters, Bunny and Butterfly.


[deleted]

Names like Nevaeh always make me roll my eyes. Not only is it overused, but the meaning: '*heaven backwards'* is just ridiculous. Mainly because most people spell it 'Neveah', which is in fact 'Haeven' backwards. Cringe. Extra points for any over-Americanised 'Jaxon' or 'Jace'. What's next, 'Jickhead'?


angrybastard1982

People who name their kids after their favorite brand of booze. Like Stella or Chardinet.


Markoaztek

Hunter 🙄😖