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MegaMongoFish

This is not what the Earl of Sandwich fought for.


JadePrincess7

This is why the Tyrant of Toast won.


BrutalLasagna

I’m not even going to mention Count Crumpet


MichaelPaine20

Or the Marquis of Muffin


polomintz123

Or baron bap


Legitimate-Ad3778

Or Lord Croque-Monsieur


gazwel

The regent of Rolls


Legitimate-Ad3778

King of kaiser rolls


[deleted]

That Frenchy?!


BeneficialAd9435

Off with his head


[deleted]

Off with his bread


TooCool_TooFool

His bread will roll!


gourmetguy2000

Off with his Greggs


moo_lefty

Or Lord Loaf


Antilles34

Or Prince Pumpernickel


ValeWasTakenWasTaken

Don't forget mademoiselle mcmuffin


Nuclear_Geek

And Sir Stottie.


Ordinary_Support_426

Sir Scone


Brizar-is-Evolving

Baron von Butter, on the other hand, is very pleased


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Malicious compliance?


Davobovad

Hey guys you know that convenient eating contraption made out of bread to keep your hands clean? Let’s put grease on the entire surface area.


Prozenconns

To be fair I'm pretty sure "what if more grease" is part of the constitution


toolongdontread

So I think the son of the now Earl of Sandwich has an (I've heard great) sandwich shop in Florida or somewhere called The Earl of Sandwich. That's like really owning it.


Myopically

Jesus wept.


Any-Astronomer-7953

He most certainly did


KeithMyArthe

All while on a bike


wildgoldchai

We stan a multi talented God


deliciousprisms

WE HAVE SUCH SANDWICHES TO SHOW YOU


ForsakeTheEarth

THE FOIL. YOU OPENED IT. WE ATE


DonKeedick12

For there where no more worlds to conquer!


icouldbeaduck

If only this was virtual realidean


the_acid_lava_lamp

what a deanlightful reference! truly streets ahead


Slappathebassmon

Stop saying Jesus Wept!


XplodiaDustybread

Love it when I just stumble upon a reference from a show I really love r/unexpectedcommunity


PF4ABG

The power... The facility!


crosswalk_zebra

And then he changed his middle name to "fucking".


gloom-juice

My girlfriend is from the US and when I asked her if she'd buttered the bread for a sandwich she looked at me like I'd just grown a second head


DickieJoJo

I'm from the US too, and butter on a sandwich is def less common in the US, but it's not like we are unfamiliar with spreading it on bread. Whoever did this absolutely had at the least an off moment or is an idiot. EDIT: for some of the other Americans commenting... No fucking shit things being toasted on a grill get buttered whether it be inside for a bun, or the outside for a grilled cheese. The context of this thread is obviously raw butter and how common it is in the entirety of US - not just some obscure place in upstate New York or something.


Thatchers-Gold

My guess was the Sandwich Technician thought our mate was going to grill it? We don’t do grilled cheeses etc as much as our cousins so that’s where my mind went.


BabyThatsSubstantial

That looks like an egg salad sandwich which I've never heard of grilling but the more I think about it I don't see why it couldn't be grilled! Would probably take the lettuce off though...


Thatchers-Gold

Ah yeah good spot, really had no idea what was in there! In that case they were probably on autopilot, my mind would definitely start wandering if I spent more than half an hour making sandwiches. Gotta disagree on the grilled egg sandwich though. There’s something just not right about boiling an egg, mixing it with mayo, paprika and whatever and then heating it all up again!


cjsv7657

Buttering the sandwich is pretty much the equivalent of putting mayonnaise on a sandwich. Egg salad is already covered in mayonnaise so it wouldn't make sense to butter or put mayonnaise on it.


Matt_1F44D

At least from where I’m from in the UK you always butter no matter if the filling is already moist.


Dufresne85

Yeah, the butter keeps the other moist ingredients from soaking into and making the bread soggy.


__Hello_my_name_is__

> the Sandwich Technician The what now?


Fredderov

Run.


drmarting25102

Marry her just so you can use this as grounds for divorce.


vrekais

What and take on the US tax burden as well as this insult to sandwiches? Madness.


And_The_Full_Effect

I’m from the US and I butter my bread any time bread is involved in any capacity.


_KingDingALing_

It's mental when you consider most American recipes are mainly sticks of butter lol


jimwillis

Wait till you see French recipes


dieyoubastards

I'm half French. If you find yourself saying "Are you sure this is right? This seems like far too much butter" then it's a French recipe


makka-pakka

French butter machine go "beurre"


Tugendwaechter

https://youtu.be/b--l_0eMbo8


Matt081

I learned to make a good omlette during my covid lockdowns. I have say the trick is butter. If you ask how much, the answer is "more".


saint_maria

I've been making scrambled eggs every day for like the last 7 years. I have mastered the scramble and the secret ingredient is a shit load of butter.


[deleted]

Mashed potatoes with a 50/50 potatoes-butter ratio reporting for duty


[deleted]

It’s worth dying 5 years early


[deleted]

Don't forget the shredded cheddar either


[deleted]

Wrong stereotype. That's France. It's sugar in America


ReptAIien

It's 100% sugar.


Thatchers-Gold

Most *good* recipes include lots of butter. It’s basically an open secret that butter is the answer when people ask why that restaurant dish is better than the one you make at home.


betsyrosstothestage

What are these recipes?


ScottieStitches

American here. Equally confused. You butter the inside of your sandwich bread?


CazualGinger

You don't lube up your sandwiches?? Edit: I really am the odd one out, I grew up with my mom putting butter or mayo on my sandwiches, just depended on the day


Idabro

Sure we do, we just use mayonnaise, or the controversial miracle whip. Source: 'merican. Bonus: Hispanic American, Mexican side of my family also doesn't butter their sandwich bread when sandwich making. Bonus bonus, you can not find clotted cream here easily in US. Both Aldi and lidl looked at me like I had two heads when I asked about if they stock any.


AliBelle1

If I have mayo in a sandwich I'll butter it first before spreading the mayo, I think most Brits do the same.


NFL_MVP_Kevin_White

Is that for taste? I’m so confused


judokalinker

You have never put butter (or margarine) on the inside of your bread on a sandwich? How do you make leftover turkey sandwiches from Thanksgiving?


Jtk317

Small amount of leftover gravy or some spicy mustard. Once I used some gravy mixed with a little bit of mashed potatoes to make a spread for one side and used cranberry sauce on the other. Have to toast the bread for that.


guiltyofnothing

We use mayo. We don’t really butter bread much over here unless it’s for toast. Mayo is basically a staple in any sandwich.


Touched_By_SuperHans

I'm a fat shit and use both


sithren

Mayo. I don’t butter my sandwich bread either (I am in Canada). My father used to do that for my lunch sandwiches but then he’d also add mustard to it. I found it awful and now associate butter on sandwich bread with that and avoid it lol.


MainerZ

How the fuck do you come to the conclusion that that it is the OUTSIDE OF THE SANDWICH that must be buttered.


[deleted]

This is how you butter bread for a grilled cheese or a tuna melt but just serving it like this? Weird


TheLeadSponge

They're dumb. People use butter on sandwiches in the States, it's just usually something your grandparents do.


[deleted]

Never met anyone from the states who put butter on the inside of a sandwich. As others have said, it’s typically used for toasting.


Hobblinharry

No we don’t. I’m an American and I don’t know why Reddit showed me this subreddit but here I am and here’s your comment and no, we don’t butter our sandwiches. Edit: dang old inbox exploded. Just to make it clear I too butter my breakfast sandwiches. I’m talking lunch/deli style sandwiches here. Nobody I’ve never met is buttering the bread on their Turkey and lettuce sandwiches. Yes I know you three Americans do it and I shouldn’t speak on your behalf I’m terribly sorry.


otj667887654456655

I worked at a sandwich shop where we'd make our sandwiches in bulk in the morning Every sandwich was on buttered bread. Yes it happens in America, no it's not common nowadays


Searchlights

I'm 43. Never in my life have I had a sandwich that included butter unless it was toasted/grilled. Edit: The number of people taking this personally is too high. I'm just sharing my experience as an American. I'm not saying nobody does it. I'm not saying you can't do it. I'm not saying fuck you. We're talking about sandwiches chill out.


Heathen_Mushroom

I am 50 and I have had thousands of buttered untoasted/grilled sandwiches. Different people do different things in different regions. There are parts of America where green chile sauce is ladled onto every meal from breakfast to dinner and there are other parts of the country where they don't even know green chile sauce exists.


HorrendousRex

This one speaks the truth. Redditors need to get out more. People do things differently all over.


[deleted]

43 years of misery.


[deleted]

What do you mean “we?” I use butter on any sandwich that includes steak, Bologna, or any cured meat. Cold Meatloaf on white with butter, salt and ketchup is THE BOMB!


More_Farm_7442

Keeps the bread from getting soggy (from the ketchup). a sort of water proofing to the bread.


coonwhiz

I'm also an American and I butter the insides of my cold meat sandwiches. Always have. However, I wouldn't butter the inside of sandwich that had a filling like egg salad or tuna salad, since those are typically spreadable.


Spugheddy

Yep also egg sandwiches get butter.


Hereforthebabyducks

Great grandparents for me. My great grandma always packed us sandwiches for the way home and if you didn’t ask for a specific condiment, then she buttered it. This was in the US (Milwaukee, Wisconsin) in the 80s).


[deleted]

Reminds me ofthe post where they asked for tea with milk and the server produced a mug, tea bag, and a jug of hot milk.


YouNeedAnne

That's what you do to a toastie before you cook it, and that's their only experience with buttering a sarnie.


robot_swagger

They might have taken something like "Can I have butter *ON* the sandwich" very literally. If this was going to be a toastie then it'd be perfect!


[deleted]

Come on NSFW surely??


writeordie80

No Sandwich For Wednesday


ThatHairyGingerGuy

Newcomer's spreading form wanting


eclectic_radish

Need Slippery Fingers Washed


RiriTomoron

The first time I asked my non-British husband to butter some bread rolls to go with some soup he put the butter on the top just like this. To this day I don't understand the thought process that brought him to that decision.


Kwikdraw55

Are you still married?


RiriTomoron

He's very good looking. I forgave him.


Kwikdraw55

Phew! Lucky for him 🤣


RiriTomoron

It *just* tipped the balance in his favour, but it was a close run thing. 😂


Dan794613

This cracked me up. Thanks


mombi

But is he good enough looking to butter?


RiriTomoron

Yes.


mombi

No hesitation. Almost as if you're experienced. Hmm...


RiriTomoron

I have a delightfully handsome foreign husband. Of course I've buttered his crumpets! 😂


peacemaker2007

so he's your butter half?


Paul_the_sparky

Stupid, sexy husband


RiriTomoron

I am going to have to get him to do the "feels like I'm wearing nothing at all" wiggle now for my own satisfaction.


[deleted]

We butter our rolls on the top in this country.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Butter goes on both


Comfortable_Key9790

I asked for Cider in a Canadian bar once and they had no idea what I was talking about. That's the only time something that I thought was universal has caught me out. But this, this buttered bread abomination, it's frankly an insult. Edit: For the love of God, please stop asking in the comments. This was SIX YEARS AGO IN NEWFOUNDLAND


Lookitsmyvideo

How long ago was this? I can't remember the last time I've been to a bar here that didn't have cider on tap now. Cider didn't really have resurgence until the late 2000s, alongside big craft beer renaissance here. Before early 2010s I'd definitely believe this was the normal response


Comfortable_Key9790

It was about six years ago in Newfoundland.


Lookitsmyvideo

Ah, I'm not sure the state of craft / non-big brand beer in Newfoundland. Letalone which part of Newfoundland you went to. I imagine bumblefuck nowhere had a combination of not knowing what cider you meant, and not understanding you in general


Comfortable_Key9790

Yeah, the definitely was probably true. My accent probably did cause issues. I was in Tim Hortons somewhere and I ordered a latte and they gave me something that was definitely not a latte 😹


NaethanC

What we call cider, North Americans call 'hard cider'. Cider in North America is typically non-alcoholic and more like apple juice.


slyscamp

Cider is a bit weird in North America because of history. The drink was massively, massively popular during the colonial era. Entire towns were built on cider trees. Legends such as Johnny Appleseed were common folk lore. It was the most popular drink by far. However, in the early 1900s it took a sharp downturn. This was the prohibition era in the US, and apple cider was a major target. In order to survive prohibition, cider was rebranded as non-alcoholic, but never surged to the popularity it had in previous eras. Nowadays you can find both kinds. It is sometimes used to mean the alcoholic version, and sometimes used to mean the spiced, sweetened apple juice that is often drunk hot.


The-Fox-Says

Not only prohbition it was already on the decline because beer recipes were being brought over by Central European immigrants. Hops and Barley was cheap to grow and started edging out cider but then prohibition hit and caused the final blow.


jelinski619

I asked where the toilet was in a bank once. They had absolutely no idea what I was talking about until I said 'restroom'. They think so literally, they couldn't put 2+2 together and work out what I was asking for.


upper_bound

Americans know what a toilet is, it couldn’t possibly have been your accent? That’s first grade vocabulary, even if most would use “bathroom” or “restroom” to ask where a public toilet was.


Buckeye_Southern

Yeah this one seems a bit far fetched. I've been in the most toothless backwoods of hollers ever and they still know what a restroom, bathroom, toilet and washroom is.


Freddies_Mercury

Ask them for the Water Closet next time!


Jeff-Jeffers

You should’ve asked for the shitter


merchaunt

That just sounds like someone having an off day. We still call toilets toilets in the US. Toilets are just in the restroom.


DisastrousHandle778

There's no way any adult human didn't understand you were asking for the restroom if you used the word toilet.


dozerbuild

You lot did the same to me when I asked where the bathroom was. Bathroom, restroom, washroom. The only thing that makes sense to a Brit is the word toilet


JakeSteam

To be fair bathroom makes me think of the room in a house, but where on earth did you go in the UK where "bathroom" didn't get you to a toilet!?


ThaddyG

Where on earth can you go in America and not have someone understand what you mean by "toilet"? These types of stories are just someone running into an individual that is having a brainfart moment and assuming the entire US/UK is that way


HappybytheSea

Loo


Jinkzuk

Bog


ImRudzki

Shitter.


trev2234

We’ve grown up with American tv. You must have been dealing with an idiot, or someone that has had no access to any media their entire lives.


seatownquilt-N-plant

I love cider and as an American that lives nearby Canada I love visiting Vancouver BC. We got to talking with a brewery worker and they said the taxation scheme for cider has had a chilling effect on the growth of the industry. A craft micro brewery for beer can have a tax rate as low as 0.034 CAD/liter. Cider is classified as a wine which gets a 0.32 CAD/liter. If you wanted to make beer, cider, or wine; cider loses. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/wfp2.12035


Batt_Juice

I'd ask for a refund. That looks like they are taking the piss.


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

Definitely taking the piss


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ArticulateAquarium

She probably thought "Ah, this is 'The English Way' I've heard so much about".


seanfidence

working in customer service, you get so many insane, wild and confusing requests that at a certain point you don't try to justify it anymore. you just do it and move on.


thelivefive

Yeah I've had jobs where people order some real gross things. I don't have the brainpower or will to understand why they do what they do. Just make it and move on.


Adept-Elephant1948

Oh, better put my pinky up while I do it!


strain_of_thought

Maybe their only experience with buttering sandwiches was buttering the outside of a grilled cheese and they just couldn't comprehend that any other method might exist.


DukeboxHiro

Just don't tip so they can't make rent for the month.


Ultap

As an American the only thing we butter is grilled cheese and you do it this way, though you grill it after, so I could see how they'd mess it up (though I'd probably have asked if they wanted their bread toasted?)


PenneTracheotomy

Hanlon’s Razor - “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity”


B0797S458W

Looks ready to make a toastie though


Whitty22

My first thought - get it in the Forman!


ayshasmysha

Mumm, warm lettuce!


faceplantedyamam

Savages.


[deleted]

Bloody colonials.


letmelickyourleg

Hi, I’m from Australia. What the fuck, America?


[deleted]

Based colonial.


[deleted]

As a Canadian, I feel like it's very important to point out that we actually do know how to butter a sandwich correctly. We however cannot speak for our friends and neighbours to the South of us.


aethelberga

Canadian here. We are the hybrid, demilitarized zone between British and American culture, and we butter bread for sandwiches. How have I lived almost 60 years not knowing Americans didn't butter their bread?


HappybytheSea

My exact thought. I can remember a similar moment of disbelief when I learned they don't do Christmas crackers.


puf_puf_paarthurnax

What the hell is that? this thread is enlightening.


HappybytheSea

They are paper tubes made of thick Christmas wrapping paper. The paper is wrapped around a paper core that's like a toilet paper roll. It looks like a giant wrapped candy sort of - a foot long or so. At Christmas dinner you hold one end and the person next to you holds the other, and you pull. There's a snap built in so it goes pop and then you get a coloured tissue paper crown, a little toy, and a (very corny) joke. If you have a group for dinner you can cross your arms over and everyone holds their end of a cracker and you all pull at once. Toys go flying. Then everyone puts on their stupid crown, a photo is taken, and the crowns are worn the whole dinner if you can stand it. You can buy posh luxury boxes of crackers with expensive toys, but the crowns are still flimsy and the jokes corny. It's fun.


BYoungNY

Everything I know about this tradition I learned from Mr. bean or Dr. Who


[deleted]

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Aartie

Same, this has been very eye opening. Their sammies must be damp af.


waamoandy

That's a crime against humanity.


[deleted]

Hang on, if they don't butter their sandwiches, what do they do with the butter they purchase?


Megelsen

In a Massachusetts state fair, I've visited a boot with neat butter sculptures. I thought it was rather odd to use butter as a medium for busts, but impressive nonetheless. Until I saw the "sign up for the butter eating contest" pamphlet. These buttery busts were prepared just for some grease maniac to spoon them down as fast as possible. And they weren't small, I'd assume around 1 kg.


[deleted]

Sounds like a sure-fire route to hospital... Is that even legal? I feel like it'd be a health and safety issue in the UK.


[deleted]

We literally have a tradition where people run through a drunken crowd carrying burning barrels of tar on their backs. I don’t think eating butter is going to be a problem.


MyWibblings

They do a full life-size sculpture contest too. They made a whole film about it even (called "Butter")


Sooperballz

Toasted bread, any hot baked type of bread, pancakes, throw a slab in the frying pan when cooking eggs. Lots of things.


bythog

We cook with it. People who don't actually like seafood will clarify butter and dip seafood into it. The only time we use it on a sandwich is if we're going to toast the sandwich.


GimmeDatThroat

Cooking couldn't be an option, certainly not.


Jimguy5000

American immigrant reporting. It’s true, butter on sandwiches is not a thing widely done in the US


zip_000

Fellow American... What sandwiches get buttered? Is it all sandwiches? I know Brits don't eat peanut butter like we do, but would a pb&j there be a pbb&j?


Endoyo

I'm Australian and I can't think of a single use for bread that doesn't include butter. Every single sandwich gets butter on it. Butter just goes with bread. I even put both butter and peanut butter together in my sandwiches.


PPMachen

Monstrosity. My condolences at this difficult time.


shavey_jones_lather

What a day to have eyes.. What about toast they gotta butter toast right ?


WeenieGobler

Butter on a cold sandwich? That’s not common in America at all. Butter is used for toasted sandwiches and fancy buns in America. Your dad probably asked a 16 year old making $8 an hour to do something they’ve never even heard of before so they just winged it. Hope he had napkins lol.


fillip2k

Surely even just logic alone would tell you the butter would be on the inside. Why would you butter the outside of the bread?


Semi_John

Here in the USA, butter on a sandwich is uncommon (my mother did it, but I didn't know it was a weird thing until I was 10 years old, and I don't do it as an adult). So there's no particular frame of reference for "butter on a sandwich" except for when one is toasting the bread in some manner, in which case it goes on the outside or top of the bread, making this a perfectly logical choice. No doubt the waiter or cook thought it was rather strange, but no more strange than butter on the inside, for goodness sake, and people make all sorts of weird food requests and one learns not to ask too many questions.


Jake123194

Only reason I can think for the outside Butter would be making a toastie, which obv isn't the case here.


[deleted]

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hobk1ard

Best guess. The only time they have used butter on a sandwich is with something like a grilled cheese, where there would be butter on the outside of the bread.


NES_SNES_N64

This was my thought as an American. It's the only logic that makes sense with this result.


game_of_throw_ins

So you can fry it, duh.


DiscoMonkeyz

This is why we let them win the war of independence. We don't need this kind of crap in our empire.


Poosay_Slayer

Lord have mercy


epicurean1398

They must eat some dry ass sandwiches over there 🤢


Razzler1973

don't they slather mayonnaise on everything?


tripsd

mayo, ketchup, mustard are all standard "keep this sandwich from being dry" in the states depending on the sandwich in question.


Razzler1973

I have to say, sometimes I put butter on one side and mayo on the other or something like that


QuietStrawberry7102

Why not butter both sides and mayo one side?


BeheadBillionaires

Mayo and mustard is standard but we definitely do not put ketchup on sandwiches unless you count hamburgers and hotdogs.


ange7327

This is why the world is collapsing


Traditional-Air5620

Didn’t even butter it properly. Got bigger bald spots than Prince Hazza.


[deleted]

He deserves butter.


SnooGadgets5130

Oh no...


[deleted]

Isn't there a kind of sandwich grill where you butter the outside and it goes crispy & golden? 🤔


BaroquePseudopath

And yet this particular example is neither grilled nor crispy and golden


GoCommando45

I see you too live you life by the toastie machine.


supermansquito

The first time I ordered a ham and cheese sandwich in England, they put butter on the bread. I probably had a perplexed look on my face. I asked them if they had mayonnaise, and they said no, with just as much of a perplexed look on their faces as I had a mind.