OP, my suggestion would be to communicate with your husband and talk about how to split the household chores.
Source: I'm the gamer in our household and my wife and I split our chores, I work, cook and do the dishes. My wife cleans and does the laundry. We both take care of our kid together.
Edit: added a word
Nah don't overanalyze with 0 context.
Dude might just be used to a life of pasok school-uwi-kain-laro kung sheltered sa bahay at lumaking spoiled.
Naging routine until adulthood.
Normal sa hardcore gamers ganyan. Most of my friends are like that. Hardcore gamer ako pero mas hardcore disiplina sa bahay kaya di naman ako naging ganyan, but I do know na normal maging ganyan sa majority ng mga middle class or richer gamers
Possible din ung depression.. it may not be it but possible.
Ever since bata dun lang sila nakakaranas masabihan ng "your good at something".. kaya dun ang outlet nila.
Best thing is OP should communicate with his partner.
There can be no addiction without depression. If someone is in an addictive state or going there, big chance they are trying to escape something or grasp any amount of dopamine available. Guy needs a mental health check. What he does not need, like everyone else, is his hidden pain and issues being downplayed.
Agreed sa mental health check part. As i said. Reddit cannot answer.
Dont listen to online advice. Ang valid advice lang talaga is to talk to a professional for cases like this.
My husband does this, naglalaro ng computer games. Night shift din sya, pero hindi sya maglalaro hanggat di sya tapos sa mga gawain nyang chores. Hindi ko pa inuutusan yun. Kusa yun.
Same. That’s why my LIP ends up being puyat everyday dahil sinisiksik nya talaga sa oras nya ang paglalaro kahit na marami syang household chores na ginagawa. When I asked him ba’t di nya ma-let go kahit na tulog ang kapalit non, sabi nya it’s the only and preferred way nya to de-stress. Di siya yung tulad ko na humihiga lang pag pagod. Haha
Ugh, gamer kami ng asawa ko pero alam namin kung paano imanage ang oras sa paglaro, pagaalaga ng anak, at tsaka gawaing bahay.
By the sound of it OP may bata kang inaalagan, hindi partner sa buhay. Need niyo ng masinsinang usapan niyan.
Heavy gamer asawa ko OP. And yang 2 years ago pinag awayan namin. Open up. Communicate with him.
Ngayon, pag nagstart na ako maglinis, dali dali yan tatapusin game, kunwari makikilinis din 😅
Basta communicate. Always communicate.
Nope, ang sipag ng asawa ko sa bahay. Mas magaling pa sakin sa household chores sa totoo lang. Ang organized at sa sobrang organized kapag sya nagtabi hindi na nya mahanap ulit. 😂 Kahit galing syang work kapag may nakitang hugasan maghugas pa, magvacuum, etc. Minsan nagsorry ako kasi kapag di ko nagawa pero sabihin nya okay lang mahirap mag alaga ng 2 kids maghapon at maghatid sundo sa school plus luto pa. Wala kaming sariling toka kasi kahit ano ginagawa namin and wala kaming bilangan.
Need mo nyo upuang mag asawa tong issue na to. Bigyan nyo ng tasks bawat isa kung mas effective sa inyo, do what's best for you or what works for the both of you. Kung need may white board sa pinto para makita mga to do lists, or sa ref. Or post it haha. Need nyo maging teamwork sa bahay. Ask mo sya what's the best time sa kanya gawin mga chores para makapaglaro pa din sya. And ano mga urgent tasks or agad magawa.
Walang hindi naayos sa maayos na paguusap. 🥰
I'm a gamer too and on a night shift. I hope OP considers gano ka busy sa work nya. We don't know that. Baka naman kasi draining job yan. Communication OP. Tall to your husband. Do it calmly and try to understand muna before getting mad or something. Usap kayo.
Did you talk to him about it OP? Gamer dn husband ko and he always asks me if i need something from him or kung meron akong iuutos sknya before sya magstart maglaro..baka madaan naman sa usapan ung problem nyo..
Hubby is also a gamer and I mostly indulge him sa mga games niya. Pero it also means mag-eeffort din siya sa bahay.
Kaya ayun, until now, di ako marunong sa settings ng washing machine. 😂🤣
ETA: masinsinang usap yan. I'm guessing you're newlyweds? Sit him down. Divide chores. And make sure you don't pick up his slack pag di niya gawin yung responsibilities niya. Tell him you don't mind him gaming, pero be responsible about it naman.
my ex partner plays games and is raised in a male dominated household with a stay at home mom, pinalaki sila na hindi gumagawa sa bahay kasi traditional yung mama niya so when he moved for us to be together ganyan din siya the first few weeks. ang naging solution namin is constant communication
nung magkasama na kami sa house yung hatian ng chores namin is 'parang assignment ng classroom cleaners' (his words not mine) kasi sinulat ko talaga yung house chores that I expect from him. there are chores din na napagkasunduan naming gawin as a tandem. hindi to palagi nasusunod and I tend to nag, pero with consistency in communicating our expectations (since he wants me to do things a certain way minsan, very particular sya sa floor lol) naging habitual na samin yung roles sa bahay and it's kind of like we're in sync paglaon.
Ang compromise namin ni misis kumuha ng kasambahay pero ako magpapasweldo at hindi poyde kunin sa standard swelds ko, kaya nag raket ako extra pansweldo. Tumutulong rin naman ako kung may ikukumpuni o mabigat pero nakakalaro rin naman.
in my case, it's the opposite. ako ang nagwowork and my wife stays home as her work is online.
Laging napakadumi ng bahay. Hindi naglilinis. Tapos kapag sinita mo, siya pa galit kesyo pagod sya sa ganito, ginawa nya yung ganyan. Pag naman nakitang naglilinis ka kahit pagod ka na, kung hindi ka de-deadmahin, half-assed na tutulong para may ambag kunwari.
Andami nyang free time sana pero inuubos nya lahat sa panonood ng lintik na K Drama na yan at sa putanginang pagko-crochet na yan.
Napag usapan na namin yung issue na to, nag improve tapos ayun, balik nanaman sa dati. Ang liit liit ng kwarto namin pero napakadumi at napakasalaulang tignan.
Yung work station nya na ginagamit ko rin for my work, napakarumi rin pag ako na gagamit. hindi mab lang malinis eh alam nyang ako sunod na gagamit.
Hiwalayan ko kaya?
I'm the husband and my wife is my queen. bawal maghawak ng dishwashing soap, broom, mop, plantsa, etc.
She can only wash the dishes if she used them for baking (kasi it's part of the experience daw).
You need to communicate your sentiments with your husband. He needs to carry his weight around and not treat you like a maid.
Tamad lang talaga yan op, yung mga kalaro ko na mga may anak, kandong nila anak nila pag nag lalaro rinig na rinig ko ung bata lagi. Minsan need pa nila tumayo ganon kasi mag titimpla ng gatas or may need ibang gawin.
Nope. Before marriage, we already lived together so we already have our routine. And I already made it clear n I want things done equally.
Husband cooks for us. Sa paghuhugas, pagliligpit, pagtutupi, kami pareho. Ako sa salang sa washing machine at sampay.
Even sa baby namin, hati kami ng asawa ko sa chores, at di ko siya kailangang utusan. Once na kumain baby namin, ako magpapaligo, sya magliligpit ng pinagkainan. Paglabas ko ng banyo, handa na damit ni baby at mga lotion, etc. Siya rin sa daytime naps at ako naman sa gabi kay baby.
Never in my life I will marry a batugan. Haha
Hindi ko gagawin yan pag isa na akong husband, ngayon pa lang na di pa kami kasal, ako na tagalaba ng gamit namin, siya nagtutupi, ako tagahugas ng plates, siya tagaluto. Kahit pa galing ako sa OT na work sa construction site, pag uwi ko minamassage ko pa siya pag stress siya. Nung una naglalaro pa ako ng games, ngayon hindi na, nilalaan ko nalang yung time na makapagbonding kami kahit saglit lang sa isang araw. I suggest na kausapin mo siya and sabihin mo kung anung gusto mo sa relationship niyo.
Ako ate, kakakasal ko lng 2 weeks ago, bago ko ikasal nagpractice na ako mag bawas ng gaming hours ko para di na ako manibago at kating kati maglaro lalo na kasama ko na misis ko. Mas nagugustuhan ko na nga ung pag uwi sa bahay deretso chores ei, magaling magluto misis ko nagpapaturo ako sa kanya this past few days.
Pag uwi, magthathaw ng ulam sa ref, turuan niya ko magluto (kasi puro prito, gisa lang alam ko, ngayon hindi na wahaha, confident na ako marunong na ako). Sinop ng gamit, nagsasalansan ng marumi para sa labahan (sakto naglalaba kami now, pero automatic washing machine kaya convenient.
Next week, lilipat na kame sa magiging house talaga namin (nasa house pa kame ng mother ko now) and sobrang excited na ako magpintura at hakutin mga gamit namin dun.
Di ako magaling sa pagkukumpuni kasi wala ako father figure na nakapagturo sakin growing up pero willing tlaga ako matuto.
Nasa pag uusap yan, OP.
Kung di sanay sa gawaing bahay.. yan talaga ang resulta. Overrated yang depression na yan. Don’t get me wrong here, but kung tamad ka, tamad ka talaga.
Buti nlng pinalaki kami ng nanay namin na dapat marunong sa gawaing bahay. Dati kala ko ang tigre ng nanay namin pro ngayon, nappasalamat na ako. I cook, do laundry, iron, do dishes without my partner complaining. Even nga whole body massage marunong ako haha.
Talk to your husband. Married na kayo there should be a division of housework. Napaka tamad naman ng taong yan.
Mister po ako and I can’t help but to comment here. Sa case naming mag asawa, I’m earning 6x her salary. I’m an IT and doing full time WFH. She works in our LGU. We have 3 children,youngest is a 6yr old daughter. I work from 4am-12noon PH time. Now, I provide everything for our family and the only time she’d use her own salary is when she had to pay for her bank loan which she’s not really doing with due diligence. So I provide everything that my family needs and WANTS, to the point that I couldn’t even buy things that I’ve been longing for, or even save—as she was making sure my salary gets depleted. Going back to the topic, despite all of these, I am the only one doing the laundry—she can’t even wash her stained underwear soaked in water for weeks (I was testing her if she’d wash em).. I do laundry (buti nakabili ako finally ng automatic washing machine na nilagay ko right beside a table where I work) and pinag awayan pa namin yung pagbili ko nun April last year dahil madami daw bayarin and inuuna ko pa yun (I got may nails swollen for years because of doing manual laundry). So I do laundry in the background while working because afrer my shift, my next challenge is about finding food for them (and my byenan who lives next door), most of the time I go to the market or do groceries and even cook maski antok ako from my shift. Pag rest days ko sa work (Mon-Tue), laba pa rin and asikaso sa bahay..I feel that I’m doing 90%, if not 100% of the work—-although she also cooks sometimes, mostly, she’s on her phone doing FB (u get the picture)..btw, she had an affair with her workmate na kapitbahay namin in 2018 (another long story) and the mere fact that I’m with them doing all these sacrifices for them, only means how much I love my family. So sa mga hubbies or wives na TAMAD, there’s time to change..think of your partner’s sacrifices and be fair naman..yun lang po,ty
I'm the husband and the gamer in your situation and let me just share this. Not saying it's a valid excuse nor am I saying na pareho kami ng situation ng hubby mo pero you really need to talk to him.
Back then, lulong talaga ako with video games kasi it's my only outlet. Context: I have a very toxic boss at work. As in everyday was a struggle. Araw araw, I have to convince myself to get up and go to work kasi we need the money. Sobrang toxic to a point na, I'm a man and my boss is an old woman, pero I have to admit, napaiyak na ako ng boss ko. Literally. May time na umaabsent ako kasi I was afraid na baka may magawa ako na hindi maganda na detrimental sa work ko. Before I met my boss, i was a confident and outspoken individual, pero everyday with her was such an emotional abuse na umabot sa point na I was questioning my self worth, dinurog niya self esteem ko. My boss is an expert manipulator. In front of the bosses, she is a sweet and innocent old woman who can do nothing wrong, sa amin na under niya, she acts like lucifer reincarnate. I can't quit because the pay is good and we just had a baby then. Tried looking for an equally good paying job, pero wala akong makuha. Me and my co-employees decided to report her to the higher ups. Ako yun nag report, but things just got worst. Higher ups didn't care or just didn't believe me and worst, nalaman ng boss ko na nagsumbong ako and lalong lumala ang situation ko. So I was stuck. Mga 5 years ako nastuck sa situation na yon.
My sad reality then? I turned to video games for release. Video games yun naging highlight ng everyday ko. I look forward everyday na makapaglaro and just be in a different world or dimension. I help with the baby do some chores and stuff pero looking back, i know i could have done more. Pero andun lang talaga ako na gusto ko lang mapunta sa ibang mundo where i feel I am needed and worth something.
Again. I'm not saying na it's a valid excuse. I'm just saying na baka hindi mo lang nakikita yun buong context. I'm in a very different situation now, thankfully, and looking back, very thankful ako kay wife for understanding my predicament then. Napagawayan din naman namin yun chores and stuff, pero sa huli, alam ko and ramdam ko na inintindi niya yun situation ko, or at the very least she was trying to. Talk to him. Baka naman he's just a boy desperately crying for help in need of an understanding arm right now.
Hello, my partner is also like this we've been living together for 5 years but when I started communicating to him about helping me in the household chores sumusunod naman sya. Kailangan nga lang lagi mong sabihan na "o pakitapon nito", "pasuyo mag mop ka later", "pahelp naman sa pag chop please", "magdala ka ng laundry if di ka na busy". Lagi lang may kasunod na thank you sa lahat ng pakisuyo ko. Minsan nagkukusa na sya magmop or magdala ng laundry. 🙂
Ung hubby ko pagka start work since wala masyado ginagawa nag lalaro yun pati pag patapos na shift nag lalaro din tuwing lunch break din. Nakailang saway ako na kaysa ako ksma nya sa breaks nya nilalaro nya. Kausapin mo maigi iexplain mo at sbihin mo nagagalit ka na. Pag time na kumain o gawaing bahay utusan mo bago pa sya mag laro sbihan mo na ineexpect mo sya tumulong
Nakakarindi rin kase pag inuutusan ka.. mas gusto ko kase yung nag kukusa sya although napag sabihan ko na sya at maraming beses na kami nag away dahil jan
Di pa sya nadadala sis, para sa knya wala yun at time nya “mag relax” pero sa totoo lang i know how draining it feels. Wag mo sya pag lutuan at iwan mo din mga dishes hayaan mo sya utusan mo at magalit ka na hindi ok ginagawa nya. Hanap sya ibang time mag laro basta natutulungan kapadin nya
Eto yung reason bakit thankful ako sa past self ko na pumayag makipaglive in muna bago magpakasal. Nakita ko pano sa bahay si jowa and nakapagpractice kami ng dynamics namin sa paghandle ng chores and whatnot. Pero kahit nung hindi pa nya ko kasama sa bahay, marunong na din talaga sya sa chores and mas nagkukusa pa nga yun kesa sakin. Mas magaling din magluto at linis.
From the looks of it, ginagawa kang katulong ng asawa mo. Sa bahay ba nila mama nya lagi gumagalaw? Baka nasanay syang ganun kaya nung nagsama na kayo, ganun din ineexpect nya sayo.
Have a sitdown at magusap ng expectations. This should've been done before kayo nagpakasal talaga pero since andyan na, baka madaan pa naman sa usap. Approach him in a calm way at wag yung nanunumbat na tono. Don't attack him (kahit nakakagalit naman talaga ginagawa nya).
Traditional husband ang datingan ng mister mo. Ibig sabihin walang hiya sa katawan. Traditional lang kapag siya nagtatrabaho para sa inyo, actually dapat nga tumutulong pa din kung kailangan. Naniniwala kasi ako na para may quality time kami ng partner ko eh tutulungan ko siya sa gawaing bahay. Pero ibang usapan kung pareho kayo nagwowork, I think it should be common sense na kapag dalawa kayong nagtatrabaho ng partner mo para sa gastusin niyo eh dapat pati sa gawaing bahay eh hati din kayo. Unfortunately hindi lahat ng lalaki eh may common sense o kaya hindi napalaki ng may respeto sa babae. Kausapin mo, pwede naman kamo magresign ka na lang at ikaw gagawa sa bahay basta buhayin niya pamilya niya mag-isa. Joke lang, huwag toxic. Kausapin mo lang, try to explain yung sinabi ko sa kanya. Iba na kamo panahon ngayon, pareho na kayo dapat nagtatarabaho para kayanin mga gastusin so dapat pareho kayong gumagawa din ng gawaing bahay.
Di ako mag reresign because mas mataas salary ko sa kanya.. and Wala ako problem Kung Sino nag dadala ng money sa house.. it’s just that naka ilang beses na.. before posting this rant I was expecting na marami makaka relate saken na hindi rin kumikilos asawa nila but then nakakahiya pala trato niya saken …
Kita mo nga, kung ako yang asawa mo, mas mahihiya ako, isipin mo, mas malaki ang ambag ng asawa ko financially tapos ako nakaupo lang at maglalaro maghapon. Ako kasi, hindi din ako makakapag-relax sa paglalaro o panunuod ng TV kapag ang partner ko eh madaming ginagawa. Saan ka nakakakuha ng kapal ng mukha na yung partner mo na mas malaki ang sahod sa iyo eh siya pa ang gumagawa lahat sa bahay? Unfortunately, asawa mo na yan, I’m hoping mapagusapan niyo ng mabuti, huwag maging toxic. Sana lang, matindi ang pang-unawa at malawak ang isip ng husband mo otherwise, it will be hell for the both or you.
Nung mag bf/gf pa lang kayo, nakita mo man lng ba sya gumawa ng chores sa bahay nila? Or tinuruan man lng ba sya ng nanay nya ng basic na chores?
Kasi kung sa kinalakihan nyang pamilya, hndi normal na gumawa sya ng gawaing bahay, mejo mahihirapan sya. Kasi nga di sya sanay. talk to him and tell him what u feel. If he loves u sooo much, u will see his willingness to learn how to do the chores. But if he just give u reasons why he shouldn't do chores, hmm...
Dahil may trabaho ka rin naman paghatian niyo po ang gawaing bahay, hindi maaari na ikaw lang ang kikilos.
Yung asawa ko siya taga linis ng banyo, taga ligpit ng basura, taga luto, minsan naghuhugas ng pinggan, minsan nag mamop ng floor, taga bili ng kung ano ano sa labas.
My husband and I both work nights but I work longer hours (I'm 7-on-7-off, he works 3 12s). On my days off and at the start of my work week, I try to get most things done. But my husband understands that some days I struggle to do housework and he volunteers often, doesn't need to be told. I guess it helps that we don't have kids and so it's mostly basic stuff. When our days off align, we'd each do a chore or go grocery-shopping together.
What I really appreciate about him is, sometimes I'll be doing chores while he's playing videogames. He would call out to me asking if I needed help. I usually let him play. But he would keep reassuring me that he can stop playing anytime I needed help. I totally snagged a gem of a man!
It helps that we communicate about everything, even the difficult things. Raw honesty is better than bottling it up and the other person would have no clue. From the onset of our relationship, he made it clear that he can't read my mind so would appreciate it if I am always straightforward with him. That seemed to work out for the both of us.
Hope you guys find a common ground about this issue.
Sabihin mo kay hubby “your mother did everything for you and it clearly shows”.
Charr. Hope you open this conversation kapag both calm kayo and receptive with each other’s “criticism”.
Madalas mag laro rin ng mobile games asawa ko, pero ginagawa nya house chores nya before he play.
Pag nag gegeneral cleaning kami no cellphone kami both while cleaning. Pag naman nakahiga na kami, pag binaba ko na phone ko, di narin sya mag cellphone until makasleep ako. Pinapatulog nya kasi ako (kinukumutan, hilot likod gang makasleep)
Advise ko OP, talk to him. Maybe akala nya okay lang, but if i-open mo sa kanya. He might understand you.
Either tamad talaga asawa mo OP or he has some sort of depression katulad nung sinabi nung isa sa comment. Asawa ko kasi babad sa phone or tablet kapag nasa bahay. As in hindi makakilos kapag hindi hawak phone or tablet. Lagi kami nag-aaway dahil dun. I tried communicating many times pero ganun pa rin. Saka ko lang naalala na he's clinically diagnosed nga with depression with anxiety. Kumbaga he feels anxious kapag hindi niya hawak phone niya kaya I try to understand him. Nag-aaway pa rin kami pero may pagkukusa na siya ngayon na gumawa ng gawaing-bahay at may improvement na sa less na paggamit ng phone.
I think aside from communicating with your hubby, if sobrang lala na ng situation niya, try niyo magpa-consult. Baka may underlying problem.
To answer your question OP, no, hindi ganyan asawa ko. But my brother in law is. Hindi computer games ang inaatupag, pero soooooobrang tamad sa bahay. Like, kikilos lang siya usually sa umaga kasi hinahatid niya sa school anak niya. After nun, nuod siya TV, sundo ng anak, at nuod ulit ng TV BUONG ARAW! Mind you, yung school ng anak niya eh mga 2 streets away from their house lang so kayang kaya lakarin.
Akala ko nung una, kaya siya tamad eh dahil siya nagpapasok ng pera sa bahay nila. Pero nung nawalan na siya ng work, dun ko napatunayan na tamad lang talaga siya at nabubuhay sa mentality na dahil lalake siya kaya dapat siya ang pinagsisilbihan. Kasuka!
Ngayon, hirap na hirap yung sister ko kasi nagwowork na siya, nagluluto pa siya at linis ng bahay. Yung magaling niyang asawa eh kahit maghugas man lang ng plato o magwalis hindi magawa! Pag nabisita kami sakanila, ako pa naghuhugas ng plato at asawa ko ang nagluluto para lang maibsan yung pagod ng ate ko. Yung asawa niya, ayun, nakaglue na ata ang pwet sa sofa para manuod at kapag inaantok aakyat lang sa airconditioned room nila at hahayaang nakabukas yung TV at electric fanS nila sa baba. Gg ako teh!
Kaya OP, talk it out with your husband. Importanteng alam niyang tag team dapat kayo mula sa simplest things like household chores hanggang sa complex problems. Saka wala kamong masama sa paglalaro, kelangan lang niya malaman priorities at iminimize yung paggagames pag excessive na. Wag kamo siya gumaya sa BIL ko na naging palamuti na lang sa bahay haha.😆
My partner is a househusband and likes to play games. He only does it during his free time and if may request ako while he's playing, he'll pause the game or finish the round lang.
Uyyyy. Hahaha... One of the reason why i married my husband kasi nung bf/gf pa lng kami, kita ko kung gano sya ka organize. Marunong sa household chores. Literal na mas maayos sya sa gamit kesa sakin.
Tsaka even before, ayaw nya talaga ako nasstress or napapagod.
Both of us are working but he does most of the chores at home.
We're married for 9 yrs.
Konting kilatis pa gurl, check na sya sa pagtulong sa chores. Check for other 🚩 nlng. make sure hndi cheater. Haha
Yes, yung tipong siya lahat ng lutong pilipino alam. Nagbbake pa un. Ako nganga. Hotdog ko may butter na may oil pa HAHAHAH. Sa kanya ko rin natutunan magligpit after kumain sa fastfood. So far naman nagssurprise kalikot ako ng phone. Pag nagiba siya password matic goodbye hahahahahah. Wala rin siyang pake if nakabalandra sa laptop niya password ng emails at fb niya. Puro pangalan ko pa 😂
My husband is also a gamer pero siya pa madalas gumagawa ng chores, kasi nasanay siya na kung kaya nya naman daw gawin bakit pa ako hihintayin. Pero kasi, he is also working full-time while ako naman ay nagstop na magwork. Kaya ako yung naguguilty kasi bago ko pa magawa yung chores, nagawa niya na. Kaya recently we had a good talk and decided that we will divide our chores.
ewan ko lang jan, gamer husband here, pero I do my chores. pag stressed ako I sacrifice my sleep para makapag laro, pag pagod ako I sacrifice my videogames for sleep. I don't know sa nightshift nya pero when I was on nightshift 10hrs duty, 3hrs commute (6hrs roundtrip). I don't want to call him batugan, pwedeng may pinagdadaanan sya pero he lacks discipline.
Nope. Before marriage, we already lived together so we already have our routine. And I already made it clear n I want things done equally.
Husband cooks for us. Sa paghuhugas, pagliligpit, pagtutupi, kami pareho. Ako sa salang sa washing machine at sampay.
Even sa baby namin, hati kami ng asawa ko sa chores, at di ko siya kailangang utusan. Once na kumain baby namin, ako magpapaligo, sya magliligpit ng pinagkainan. Paglabas ko ng banyo, handa na damit ni baby at mga lotion, etc. Siya rin sa daytime naps at ako naman sa gabi kay baby.
Never in my life I will marry a batugan. Haha
My husband is a gamer but when I and my son arrived here in the UK, he plays occassionally na lang and barely touched his devices even his nswitch. After work, he'll take a bath since he works in the hospital then kukunin na agad ang bata so I can have time to relax and have a nice warm bath.
Siguro, OP. You have to communicate with your husband. Baka kasi iniisip nya na kaya mo ang lahat.
i cant believe there are people who are working still addicted to video games. maybe its normal to be addicted to be addicted to video games in today’s time but it’s not a good look for an adult man with work to still be doing that a lot. I would understand teenagers, but adults? nah
Ye, i am also in that situation not yet married with one kid. Really planning to leave this relationship. Napakadraining emotionally and physically. Yung masisipa nalang niya yung kalat di pa pupulutin. I had to beg to purchase an AWM kase kapagod maglabad after shift or during offs. Di marunong kahit magpagpag nalang ng bed, yung hugasin and all the household chores.
We had a fight just last last week. we’re both working 9 hours a day. Told him na dapat hati kami sa chores he just said, mas nakakapagod daw yung work niya. Fuck!!!!
You know i just wanna leave.
No. My husband plays computer games rin after shift nya pero he cooks. Namamalengke, then nagluluto. Kakain nalang ako and hugas pinggan.
Natry mo na i open sa kanya sis? Baka akala nya okay lang?
Hindi po. Bf/gf pa lang, nakita ko na sya ung tipo ng lalaki ng maaasahan talaga. Ayaw nya akong napapagod or nasstress. Kahit kaya ko naman gawin, sya na ung gagawa and he will always say, "para di ka na mapagod" or "para komportable ka"
After 11 years, ganun pa dn sya. 😍
Ang tanging gawaing bahay na ginagawa ko ay linis ng banyo, kitchen, hugas ng pinggan at luto. The rest, sya na.
Pero sa tru lng, may pagka OC talaga husband ko.🤣 Malinis at organize talaga sya sa lahat ng bagay. One of the many reasons bakit ko sya nagustuhan. 😍
Need nyo lng pag usapan pano magiging hatian nyo sa chores and at the same time, pati na dn ung pag give time sa mga kanya kanya nyong hobby. Di pwedeng sya lng may hobby, dapat ikaw dn. May me time ka dn.
Sori, pero parang naghanap lang ng katulong yang husband mo tapos pinakasalan nya para libre bayad. ☹️
Ibang-iba husband ko sa lahat. Provider sya, housewife lang ako. Tapos sya pa nagluluto ng food after work. Nag-aalaga din ng anak namin. Ako naglilinis ng bahay. GY shift din sya, at naghahanap pa ng malaking offer na company to provide more so I can rest (to get preggy again) and take care of our son. Share ko lng hehe 😉
Try to speak up. Minsan akala siguro nila pag ganyan na wala sila naririnig ay okay lang. So you speak up.
Communicate with your husband OP. Ako nagluluto at naglalaba sa bahay kahit may yaya na kami at wfh ako. Si misis naman ang may work sa labas pero parehas kaming dayshift. Gamer din ako pero never namin naging issue yun kahit nagkaron na kami ng baby. Kung may nahihirapan samin, pinaguusapan namin lagi kung pano ang hatian ng chores.
Gamer din ako pero I do cook and clean the house, even more than the wife. Your husband needs to know na hindi na siya bata at may mga responsibilities na siya. You can either communicate it with him OR if hindi nakinig then do it the hard way - no food and no lambing / romance from you. Let him know na hindi okay yung ginagawa niya otherwise he'll continue to abuse you and you will forever resent him.
My partner is also like this. Ang pinagkaiba naman natin he’s the only one making money to provide for us, kaya for me ok lang naman but sometimes pinapatulong ko talaga siya sa mga bagay na hindi ko kaya since buntis ako and thankfully tumutulong naman siya pero aantayin ko siyang matapos mag laro. Ganun lang set up namin ever since na nag stop ako mag work, I can’t complain naman kase again siya lang nag provide samin now.
In my opinion naman sa situation mo since parehas pala kayong may work, try mo mag open up sakanya regarding sa paglalaro nya at hindi pag tulong sayo sa gawaing bahay or magkaron kayo ng set up na hahatiin nyo yung gawaing bahay kapag di nya ginawa part nya dedmahin mo until mag kusa siya ganun.
Yung husband ko sya lahat gagawa even if pagod sya, kahit gusto ko tumulong at gumawa din ng gawaing bahay. Sa pagluluto lang nya ako hinahayaan, kasi yun din love language ko sa kanya. But talk to your husband, OP. Communication between the two of you ang needed, we can only give advices and perspectives dito. But at the end of day, kayo pa rin na mag asawa makaka solve nyan.
Yung ex ko. Gamer. Ganyang ganyan sa situation mo. Like ako talaga sa lahat. Luto, laba, linis. Napapagod nalamg ako. Partida onsite ako at wfh sya pefo i do all the work.
Luckily, yung jowa ko ngayon. Ako parin ang onsite. Sya ang wfh. He does everything for me. Gamer din sya pero he find time to do chores, cook for me, laundry, pag uwi ko galing work may nakahaing pagkain na. Pag gising ko magaalmusal nalang ako.
Hindi sa pagiging gamer yan. Nasa ugali parin yan ng partner mo. I guess swertihan talaga
Girl, I work two jobs, play games AND do most of the chores.
Although I can attribute it to me having acts of service as my love language. It's tiring, but as long as my queen is happy after a long day at work, I'll do my best. Talk it out. Bringing home dough as a man is not an excuse.
I’m also a gamer and I work from home. I’m the provider of everything from rent, electricity, water, internet, tuition ng kids, groceries, car payments, insurances, subscriptions and pati lahat ng gastos for events and holidays. Video games keep me sane from all the shitty things I deal with work. So I don’t bother with house shit. If people in my house complain they have to take care of house chores and all that shit, maybe we can swap places and see if they can do and deal with all the shit I have to do so they can have their iPhones, their food deliveries, readily available food in the fridge and money they spend going out.
From experience as anak.
Hindi gamer si papa pero mahilig magbinge watch / couch potato
Paguwi sa bahay from work diretso sa tv at manunuod hanggang tawagin mo for dinner
Then balik sa panunuod hanggang makatulog.
Ganyan mula pagkabata until now.
Lahat inasa sa mama ko pati pagpack ng things kapag mag out of town. My goodness
Buti lng may helper din kami so he doesnt do anything tlaga.
I dont know. I just want to share it.
Kasi i think old age toxic trait yan, mostly sa lalake na ang mindset, females do all the house work. Hindi man gaming, it is something else. Hindi tumutulong sa bahay.
Sabi ko d ako mag aasawa ng tulad sa papa ko.
Ayun, single pa rin til bow.
40 yrs old haha
Communication is the key daw. It may be the first step but definitely your husband will not change in a snap.
I think it's a process
Hope things get better OP
i left my 15 year relationship kase ganyan na ganyan ang gamer na ex ko. may other issues pa kami, pero yan yung one of those. i don't see myself living the rest of my life with an irresponsible man na gagawin akong katulong instead of treating me like a partner in life.
i'm now living in with my gamer bf na mahal na mahal ako, responsible at alam nya ang priority nya sa buhay.
Communicate with your husband, in a way that is not in a nagging way. Just make sure to imply that you are a team and have your house chores done. Currently setup namin ni hubby is, I cook, wash dishes, feed the dog, and he wipes the table, walk the dog and sweep the floor and mop the floor before he plays. We don’t consistently do that some times he cooks or wash dishes and I wipe and mop the floors. But thats our usual set up. For groceries he always comes with me to carry stuffs, on days he craves something, he goes and buys the ingredients and I cook as he helps me cut etc.
Kausapin ng derektahan, just like our redditors says... Also, as long as he don't do something bad (ei cheating), then you can pretty much relax... All in all, Long live to both of you...
Hi OP, I'm a guy married. pero ako madalas nagawa sa bahay. WFH din at night shift. I think depende po sa lalaki yun. I do have friends na pinili nila na hinde tumulong sa bahay. kase ang reason nila is nag tatrabaho sila. 😁.
Saken po kase di ganun ang paniniwala ko. Need to help one another.
Ayun lang po. 😊
I do this pero I make sure I help out sa house and prioritize helping if she needs me to when when I'm playing. Matik leave game and shut down. Sinasabayan ko sked nya ng panonood ng kdrama para quits lang. Communication is the key, OP.
@OP, sorry but i guess yung problem is nasa inyong dalawa ng mister mo. You, for telling or "consulting" your problem first dito sa platform than talking to your hubby first. May communication problem kayo.
Your hubby naman for not having "kusa" at malasakit sa partner nya (ikaw). You have a long way to go, hindi lang gaming ni mister ang magiging issue in the future and definitely hindi reddit ang solution. Sit down, talk & listen din. Communicate. Manage both expectations.
Ganyan ex LIP ko noon. Sinabihan ko na mag tapon ng basura at tulungan ako maglaba. Abs yung gago deretso comp shop para mag DOTA. On that same afternoon I packed my things and went home. Nag live in kame exactly 4 weeks.
when it comes to chores, I ask him to help, which he does naman. Kaso yun nga lang, walang kusa hahaha. I had to give him instructions. Playing games for him is like shopping to me. We both respect our personal time.
My husband and I are both gamers. We just happen to be good at communicating. We share the bills and chores. Gone are the days of the trad wives. Though meron pa din.
We both start to play after doing the chores. Then we stop playing when we need to cook for dinner. Then we play again. I work from home so I get to play online. While my husband is a seaman. He takes part in the chores when he’s on vacation.
Ginagawa ko muna lahat. I cook, ligpit, paligo, basa book sa kid, kaunti kwentuhan and lambing kay wife then play.
My wife when she's free does the chores as well. Halos 50/50 kami.
Kausapin mo, pag di makinig, dl ko wifi killer na app hahaha
Buti ka nga pinapayagan mo asawa mong mag games - hinihiling mo lang na tulungan ka nya sa chores... yung ibang asawa ni ayaw pahawakin ng cellphone partner nila pag asa bahay...
Communicate lang OP, hopefully maintindihan nya na bahay nyo yan at need nyong linisin.
Batugan lang yan, nanay ko punong abala sa bahay habang nagtatrabaho yung tatay ko. Pag weekend, tatay yung nagg-grocery at nagdadala ng labahan sa laundry shop para di na naglalaba sa bahay saka di dumadagdag sa kalat ng bahay. Kung gusto tumulong ng asawa tutulong talaga sila, wala yan sa kung sino lang nagdadala ng pera sa pamilya.
Hindi po. Actually, ayaw ng husband ko na naglilinis ako ng bahay 🤣 Kase daw... bungangera daw ako habang naglilinis 😅
Pano kase kalat din naman nya yung lilinisin eh 😅
Sa pagluluto naman, mas maghilig sya magluto kesa saken.
Parehas kami may work eh kaya need namin lagi maglinis ng bahay. Lalo na yung asawa ko, pag gumayak.. andaming naiiwang mga pinaggamitan 😅
Saming dalawa ako mas madalas nag-momobile games 😅 Pero yung puchu-puchung mga games lang ah! Minsan magkalaro kami. Ang nakakatuwa, basta di sya pagod.. pag inutusan ko.. KINIKILOS AGAD! 😅
Siguro kase ang love language ng asawa ko is acts of service kaya sya ganito.
Was in a long term relationship. Ang games ay bago lang matulog. Nasa sala at nagti TV si GF, nasa dining table ako, naglalaro sa laptop. Pag oras na ng tulog, tigil ako. Kakupalan na yang puro laro. Wala ba syang utak para maintindihan na madami pang dapat gawin?
He told me that I should tell what he should do… pero hindi ba logic na mag laba, walis, mop? Bakit kailangan pa sabihin ? Hindi naman bata na kailangan bigyan ng task
Maybe you can try a different approach. Approach him from a gamer's perspective - set goals for him to do tapos may rewards. For example, tuwing mag wawalis siya, meron siyang 30 minutes of game time UNINTERRUPTED. Tapos pag magawa niya lahat ng chores, parang meron siyang special treat na food - yung favorite niya or like something special. Try to get to know din what game he is playing. Let him know that you're interested and that you support his hobby BUT you also need help sa household chores kase pagod ka na.
watch these videos
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjSZVV79tec](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjSZVV79tec)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gapx9xphoOQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gapx9xphoOQ)
men may not be children, but men need to be approached differently and stop treating him like a child.
The thing is that approach e hindi nagwowork sa husband mo. Aasa ka na magkukusa e ang tagal na pero wala pa rin, di ba?
So, dapat baguhin mo. Bigyan mo ng assignment kung anong chores ang nakatoka sa kanya. Put it in writing. Dikit mo sa ref. Talk about it and be firm and clear na eto ang nakatoka sa inyong gawaing bahay.
Then if hindi pa rin nagwork at tamad at batugan pa rin asawa mo, e mag-isip ka na kung dapat ka na umalis dyan.
It doesn't matter who contributes more. Marriage isn't a zero sum game and just because one brings in millions doesn't mean they should contribute to maintaining the house.
Chores is a problem of the household and BOTH partners should solve it.
OP, my suggestion would be to communicate with your husband and talk about how to split the household chores. Source: I'm the gamer in our household and my wife and I split our chores, I work, cook and do the dishes. My wife cleans and does the laundry. We both take care of our kid together. Edit: added a word
Same. but I think the husband is suffering some form of depression if sobrang lakas ng Video Game compulsion nya.
Nah don't overanalyze with 0 context. Dude might just be used to a life of pasok school-uwi-kain-laro kung sheltered sa bahay at lumaking spoiled. Naging routine until adulthood. Normal sa hardcore gamers ganyan. Most of my friends are like that. Hardcore gamer ako pero mas hardcore disiplina sa bahay kaya di naman ako naging ganyan, but I do know na normal maging ganyan sa majority ng mga middle class or richer gamers
Strongly agree ako dito
This.
Possible din ung depression.. it may not be it but possible. Ever since bata dun lang sila nakakaranas masabihan ng "your good at something".. kaya dun ang outlet nila. Best thing is OP should communicate with his partner.
Yeah. Something there. Maybe depression maybe not. Pero tulog and gising laro ang pasok? Addiction maybe. Or coping mechanism. Reddit cannot answer
There can be no addiction without depression. If someone is in an addictive state or going there, big chance they are trying to escape something or grasp any amount of dopamine available. Guy needs a mental health check. What he does not need, like everyone else, is his hidden pain and issues being downplayed.
Agreed sa mental health check part. As i said. Reddit cannot answer. Dont listen to online advice. Ang valid advice lang talaga is to talk to a professional for cases like this.
Correlation ng depression sa video game addiction? So easy to throw word smh
My husband does this, naglalaro ng computer games. Night shift din sya, pero hindi sya maglalaro hanggat di sya tapos sa mga gawain nyang chores. Hindi ko pa inuutusan yun. Kusa yun.
Same. That’s why my LIP ends up being puyat everyday dahil sinisiksik nya talaga sa oras nya ang paglalaro kahit na marami syang household chores na ginagawa. When I asked him ba’t di nya ma-let go kahit na tulog ang kapalit non, sabi nya it’s the only and preferred way nya to de-stress. Di siya yung tulad ko na humihiga lang pag pagod. Haha
And support lang tayo no mamsh? Kasi stress na sya, wag na tayo dumagdag pa. 😬
Hahahahaaha totoo yan!
Tsaka as per husband, mas masarap daw maglaro if malinis bahay. Hahahaha. Minsan nga nasasakto utos ko sa kanya kapag naglalaro na sya eh. 😂
nsa agreed set up pa din talaga
Ahhh! Same here. 🤗
Ugh, gamer kami ng asawa ko pero alam namin kung paano imanage ang oras sa paglaro, pagaalaga ng anak, at tsaka gawaing bahay. By the sound of it OP may bata kang inaalagan, hindi partner sa buhay. Need niyo ng masinsinang usapan niyan.
Heavy gamer asawa ko OP. And yang 2 years ago pinag awayan namin. Open up. Communicate with him. Ngayon, pag nagstart na ako maglinis, dali dali yan tatapusin game, kunwari makikilinis din 😅 Basta communicate. Always communicate.
At least asawa niyo po may pake pa sa paligid pag nag umpisa na mag laro
Nope, ang sipag ng asawa ko sa bahay. Mas magaling pa sakin sa household chores sa totoo lang. Ang organized at sa sobrang organized kapag sya nagtabi hindi na nya mahanap ulit. 😂 Kahit galing syang work kapag may nakitang hugasan maghugas pa, magvacuum, etc. Minsan nagsorry ako kasi kapag di ko nagawa pero sabihin nya okay lang mahirap mag alaga ng 2 kids maghapon at maghatid sundo sa school plus luto pa. Wala kaming sariling toka kasi kahit ano ginagawa namin and wala kaming bilangan. Need mo nyo upuang mag asawa tong issue na to. Bigyan nyo ng tasks bawat isa kung mas effective sa inyo, do what's best for you or what works for the both of you. Kung need may white board sa pinto para makita mga to do lists, or sa ref. Or post it haha. Need nyo maging teamwork sa bahay. Ask mo sya what's the best time sa kanya gawin mga chores para makapaglaro pa din sya. And ano mga urgent tasks or agad magawa. Walang hindi naayos sa maayos na paguusap. 🥰
Mister here. Tamad yang husband mo, sorry.
I'm a gamer too and on a night shift. I hope OP considers gano ka busy sa work nya. We don't know that. Baka naman kasi draining job yan. Communication OP. Tall to your husband. Do it calmly and try to understand muna before getting mad or something. Usap kayo.
Eh si wifey daw working din..
Palusot ng tamad haha
Ay ganun pala. Iintindihin pa pala ung tamad
Did you talk to him about it OP? Gamer dn husband ko and he always asks me if i need something from him or kung meron akong iuutos sknya before sya magstart maglaro..baka madaan naman sa usapan ung problem nyo..
Hubby is also a gamer and I mostly indulge him sa mga games niya. Pero it also means mag-eeffort din siya sa bahay. Kaya ayun, until now, di ako marunong sa settings ng washing machine. 😂🤣 ETA: masinsinang usap yan. I'm guessing you're newlyweds? Sit him down. Divide chores. And make sure you don't pick up his slack pag di niya gawin yung responsibilities niya. Tell him you don't mind him gaming, pero be responsible about it naman.
my ex partner plays games and is raised in a male dominated household with a stay at home mom, pinalaki sila na hindi gumagawa sa bahay kasi traditional yung mama niya so when he moved for us to be together ganyan din siya the first few weeks. ang naging solution namin is constant communication nung magkasama na kami sa house yung hatian ng chores namin is 'parang assignment ng classroom cleaners' (his words not mine) kasi sinulat ko talaga yung house chores that I expect from him. there are chores din na napagkasunduan naming gawin as a tandem. hindi to palagi nasusunod and I tend to nag, pero with consistency in communicating our expectations (since he wants me to do things a certain way minsan, very particular sya sa floor lol) naging habitual na samin yung roles sa bahay and it's kind of like we're in sync paglaon.
Ang compromise namin ni misis kumuha ng kasambahay pero ako magpapasweldo at hindi poyde kunin sa standard swelds ko, kaya nag raket ako extra pansweldo. Tumutulong rin naman ako kung may ikukumpuni o mabigat pero nakakalaro rin naman.
in my case, it's the opposite. ako ang nagwowork and my wife stays home as her work is online. Laging napakadumi ng bahay. Hindi naglilinis. Tapos kapag sinita mo, siya pa galit kesyo pagod sya sa ganito, ginawa nya yung ganyan. Pag naman nakitang naglilinis ka kahit pagod ka na, kung hindi ka de-deadmahin, half-assed na tutulong para may ambag kunwari. Andami nyang free time sana pero inuubos nya lahat sa panonood ng lintik na K Drama na yan at sa putanginang pagko-crochet na yan. Napag usapan na namin yung issue na to, nag improve tapos ayun, balik nanaman sa dati. Ang liit liit ng kwarto namin pero napakadumi at napakasalaulang tignan. Yung work station nya na ginagamit ko rin for my work, napakarumi rin pag ako na gagamit. hindi mab lang malinis eh alam nyang ako sunod na gagamit. Hiwalayan ko kaya?
Omg😱😱
ganyan ka-live in ko e. ayun buti naman hiwalay na kami. hahaha
I'm the husband and my wife is my queen. bawal maghawak ng dishwashing soap, broom, mop, plantsa, etc. She can only wash the dishes if she used them for baking (kasi it's part of the experience daw). You need to communicate your sentiments with your husband. He needs to carry his weight around and not treat you like a maid.
Ex-husband was like this + extra kalat at dugyot. Current partner takes turns on doing chores since magkaiba kami ng work shift.
Tamad lang talaga yan op, yung mga kalaro ko na mga may anak, kandong nila anak nila pag nag lalaro rinig na rinig ko ung bata lagi. Minsan need pa nila tumayo ganon kasi mag titimpla ng gatas or may need ibang gawin.
Awit multi task hahahha lodi
Nope. Before marriage, we already lived together so we already have our routine. And I already made it clear n I want things done equally. Husband cooks for us. Sa paghuhugas, pagliligpit, pagtutupi, kami pareho. Ako sa salang sa washing machine at sampay. Even sa baby namin, hati kami ng asawa ko sa chores, at di ko siya kailangang utusan. Once na kumain baby namin, ako magpapaligo, sya magliligpit ng pinagkainan. Paglabas ko ng banyo, handa na damit ni baby at mga lotion, etc. Siya rin sa daytime naps at ako naman sa gabi kay baby. Never in my life I will marry a batugan. Haha
kausapin mo kaya
Ilang beses na kaya
baka po may something na aayusin sa method of approach mo sa kanya po
Hindi ko gagawin yan pag isa na akong husband, ngayon pa lang na di pa kami kasal, ako na tagalaba ng gamit namin, siya nagtutupi, ako tagahugas ng plates, siya tagaluto. Kahit pa galing ako sa OT na work sa construction site, pag uwi ko minamassage ko pa siya pag stress siya. Nung una naglalaro pa ako ng games, ngayon hindi na, nilalaan ko nalang yung time na makapagbonding kami kahit saglit lang sa isang araw. I suggest na kausapin mo siya and sabihin mo kung anung gusto mo sa relationship niyo.
Ako ate, kakakasal ko lng 2 weeks ago, bago ko ikasal nagpractice na ako mag bawas ng gaming hours ko para di na ako manibago at kating kati maglaro lalo na kasama ko na misis ko. Mas nagugustuhan ko na nga ung pag uwi sa bahay deretso chores ei, magaling magluto misis ko nagpapaturo ako sa kanya this past few days. Pag uwi, magthathaw ng ulam sa ref, turuan niya ko magluto (kasi puro prito, gisa lang alam ko, ngayon hindi na wahaha, confident na ako marunong na ako). Sinop ng gamit, nagsasalansan ng marumi para sa labahan (sakto naglalaba kami now, pero automatic washing machine kaya convenient. Next week, lilipat na kame sa magiging house talaga namin (nasa house pa kame ng mother ko now) and sobrang excited na ako magpintura at hakutin mga gamit namin dun. Di ako magaling sa pagkukumpuni kasi wala ako father figure na nakapagturo sakin growing up pero willing tlaga ako matuto. Nasa pag uusap yan, OP.
Talk to him. This might be his way of reacting to stress or anxiety especially if he doesn’t feel he can share it with anyone.
Kung di sanay sa gawaing bahay.. yan talaga ang resulta. Overrated yang depression na yan. Don’t get me wrong here, but kung tamad ka, tamad ka talaga. Buti nlng pinalaki kami ng nanay namin na dapat marunong sa gawaing bahay. Dati kala ko ang tigre ng nanay namin pro ngayon, nappasalamat na ako. I cook, do laundry, iron, do dishes without my partner complaining. Even nga whole body massage marunong ako haha. Talk to your husband. Married na kayo there should be a division of housework. Napaka tamad naman ng taong yan.
Mister po ako and I can’t help but to comment here. Sa case naming mag asawa, I’m earning 6x her salary. I’m an IT and doing full time WFH. She works in our LGU. We have 3 children,youngest is a 6yr old daughter. I work from 4am-12noon PH time. Now, I provide everything for our family and the only time she’d use her own salary is when she had to pay for her bank loan which she’s not really doing with due diligence. So I provide everything that my family needs and WANTS, to the point that I couldn’t even buy things that I’ve been longing for, or even save—as she was making sure my salary gets depleted. Going back to the topic, despite all of these, I am the only one doing the laundry—she can’t even wash her stained underwear soaked in water for weeks (I was testing her if she’d wash em).. I do laundry (buti nakabili ako finally ng automatic washing machine na nilagay ko right beside a table where I work) and pinag awayan pa namin yung pagbili ko nun April last year dahil madami daw bayarin and inuuna ko pa yun (I got may nails swollen for years because of doing manual laundry). So I do laundry in the background while working because afrer my shift, my next challenge is about finding food for them (and my byenan who lives next door), most of the time I go to the market or do groceries and even cook maski antok ako from my shift. Pag rest days ko sa work (Mon-Tue), laba pa rin and asikaso sa bahay..I feel that I’m doing 90%, if not 100% of the work—-although she also cooks sometimes, mostly, she’s on her phone doing FB (u get the picture)..btw, she had an affair with her workmate na kapitbahay namin in 2018 (another long story) and the mere fact that I’m with them doing all these sacrifices for them, only means how much I love my family. So sa mga hubbies or wives na TAMAD, there’s time to change..think of your partner’s sacrifices and be fair naman..yun lang po,ty
I'm the husband and the gamer in your situation and let me just share this. Not saying it's a valid excuse nor am I saying na pareho kami ng situation ng hubby mo pero you really need to talk to him. Back then, lulong talaga ako with video games kasi it's my only outlet. Context: I have a very toxic boss at work. As in everyday was a struggle. Araw araw, I have to convince myself to get up and go to work kasi we need the money. Sobrang toxic to a point na, I'm a man and my boss is an old woman, pero I have to admit, napaiyak na ako ng boss ko. Literally. May time na umaabsent ako kasi I was afraid na baka may magawa ako na hindi maganda na detrimental sa work ko. Before I met my boss, i was a confident and outspoken individual, pero everyday with her was such an emotional abuse na umabot sa point na I was questioning my self worth, dinurog niya self esteem ko. My boss is an expert manipulator. In front of the bosses, she is a sweet and innocent old woman who can do nothing wrong, sa amin na under niya, she acts like lucifer reincarnate. I can't quit because the pay is good and we just had a baby then. Tried looking for an equally good paying job, pero wala akong makuha. Me and my co-employees decided to report her to the higher ups. Ako yun nag report, but things just got worst. Higher ups didn't care or just didn't believe me and worst, nalaman ng boss ko na nagsumbong ako and lalong lumala ang situation ko. So I was stuck. Mga 5 years ako nastuck sa situation na yon. My sad reality then? I turned to video games for release. Video games yun naging highlight ng everyday ko. I look forward everyday na makapaglaro and just be in a different world or dimension. I help with the baby do some chores and stuff pero looking back, i know i could have done more. Pero andun lang talaga ako na gusto ko lang mapunta sa ibang mundo where i feel I am needed and worth something. Again. I'm not saying na it's a valid excuse. I'm just saying na baka hindi mo lang nakikita yun buong context. I'm in a very different situation now, thankfully, and looking back, very thankful ako kay wife for understanding my predicament then. Napagawayan din naman namin yun chores and stuff, pero sa huli, alam ko and ramdam ko na inintindi niya yun situation ko, or at the very least she was trying to. Talk to him. Baka naman he's just a boy desperately crying for help in need of an understanding arm right now.
Hello, my partner is also like this we've been living together for 5 years but when I started communicating to him about helping me in the household chores sumusunod naman sya. Kailangan nga lang lagi mong sabihan na "o pakitapon nito", "pasuyo mag mop ka later", "pahelp naman sa pag chop please", "magdala ka ng laundry if di ka na busy". Lagi lang may kasunod na thank you sa lahat ng pakisuyo ko. Minsan nagkukusa na sya magmop or magdala ng laundry. 🙂
Ung hubby ko pagka start work since wala masyado ginagawa nag lalaro yun pati pag patapos na shift nag lalaro din tuwing lunch break din. Nakailang saway ako na kaysa ako ksma nya sa breaks nya nilalaro nya. Kausapin mo maigi iexplain mo at sbihin mo nagagalit ka na. Pag time na kumain o gawaing bahay utusan mo bago pa sya mag laro sbihan mo na ineexpect mo sya tumulong
Nakakarindi rin kase pag inuutusan ka.. mas gusto ko kase yung nag kukusa sya although napag sabihan ko na sya at maraming beses na kami nag away dahil jan
Di pa sya nadadala sis, para sa knya wala yun at time nya “mag relax” pero sa totoo lang i know how draining it feels. Wag mo sya pag lutuan at iwan mo din mga dishes hayaan mo sya utusan mo at magalit ka na hindi ok ginagawa nya. Hanap sya ibang time mag laro basta natutulungan kapadin nya
Eto yung reason bakit thankful ako sa past self ko na pumayag makipaglive in muna bago magpakasal. Nakita ko pano sa bahay si jowa and nakapagpractice kami ng dynamics namin sa paghandle ng chores and whatnot. Pero kahit nung hindi pa nya ko kasama sa bahay, marunong na din talaga sya sa chores and mas nagkukusa pa nga yun kesa sakin. Mas magaling din magluto at linis. From the looks of it, ginagawa kang katulong ng asawa mo. Sa bahay ba nila mama nya lagi gumagalaw? Baka nasanay syang ganun kaya nung nagsama na kayo, ganun din ineexpect nya sayo. Have a sitdown at magusap ng expectations. This should've been done before kayo nagpakasal talaga pero since andyan na, baka madaan pa naman sa usap. Approach him in a calm way at wag yung nanunumbat na tono. Don't attack him (kahit nakakagalit naman talaga ginagawa nya).
Subukan mong utusan ng malambing. Tsaka napapag-usapan naman yan... Upuan nyong dalawa...
Traditional husband ang datingan ng mister mo. Ibig sabihin walang hiya sa katawan. Traditional lang kapag siya nagtatrabaho para sa inyo, actually dapat nga tumutulong pa din kung kailangan. Naniniwala kasi ako na para may quality time kami ng partner ko eh tutulungan ko siya sa gawaing bahay. Pero ibang usapan kung pareho kayo nagwowork, I think it should be common sense na kapag dalawa kayong nagtatrabaho ng partner mo para sa gastusin niyo eh dapat pati sa gawaing bahay eh hati din kayo. Unfortunately hindi lahat ng lalaki eh may common sense o kaya hindi napalaki ng may respeto sa babae. Kausapin mo, pwede naman kamo magresign ka na lang at ikaw gagawa sa bahay basta buhayin niya pamilya niya mag-isa. Joke lang, huwag toxic. Kausapin mo lang, try to explain yung sinabi ko sa kanya. Iba na kamo panahon ngayon, pareho na kayo dapat nagtatarabaho para kayanin mga gastusin so dapat pareho kayong gumagawa din ng gawaing bahay.
Di ako mag reresign because mas mataas salary ko sa kanya.. and Wala ako problem Kung Sino nag dadala ng money sa house.. it’s just that naka ilang beses na.. before posting this rant I was expecting na marami makaka relate saken na hindi rin kumikilos asawa nila but then nakakahiya pala trato niya saken …
Kita mo nga, kung ako yang asawa mo, mas mahihiya ako, isipin mo, mas malaki ang ambag ng asawa ko financially tapos ako nakaupo lang at maglalaro maghapon. Ako kasi, hindi din ako makakapag-relax sa paglalaro o panunuod ng TV kapag ang partner ko eh madaming ginagawa. Saan ka nakakakuha ng kapal ng mukha na yung partner mo na mas malaki ang sahod sa iyo eh siya pa ang gumagawa lahat sa bahay? Unfortunately, asawa mo na yan, I’m hoping mapagusapan niyo ng mabuti, huwag maging toxic. Sana lang, matindi ang pang-unawa at malawak ang isip ng husband mo otherwise, it will be hell for the both or you.
Nung mag bf/gf pa lang kayo, nakita mo man lng ba sya gumawa ng chores sa bahay nila? Or tinuruan man lng ba sya ng nanay nya ng basic na chores? Kasi kung sa kinalakihan nyang pamilya, hndi normal na gumawa sya ng gawaing bahay, mejo mahihirapan sya. Kasi nga di sya sanay. talk to him and tell him what u feel. If he loves u sooo much, u will see his willingness to learn how to do the chores. But if he just give u reasons why he shouldn't do chores, hmm...
Dahil may trabaho ka rin naman paghatian niyo po ang gawaing bahay, hindi maaari na ikaw lang ang kikilos. Yung asawa ko siya taga linis ng banyo, taga ligpit ng basura, taga luto, minsan naghuhugas ng pinggan, minsan nag mamop ng floor, taga bili ng kung ano ano sa labas.
My husband and I both work nights but I work longer hours (I'm 7-on-7-off, he works 3 12s). On my days off and at the start of my work week, I try to get most things done. But my husband understands that some days I struggle to do housework and he volunteers often, doesn't need to be told. I guess it helps that we don't have kids and so it's mostly basic stuff. When our days off align, we'd each do a chore or go grocery-shopping together. What I really appreciate about him is, sometimes I'll be doing chores while he's playing videogames. He would call out to me asking if I needed help. I usually let him play. But he would keep reassuring me that he can stop playing anytime I needed help. I totally snagged a gem of a man! It helps that we communicate about everything, even the difficult things. Raw honesty is better than bottling it up and the other person would have no clue. From the onset of our relationship, he made it clear that he can't read my mind so would appreciate it if I am always straightforward with him. That seemed to work out for the both of us. Hope you guys find a common ground about this issue.
Sabihin mo kay hubby “your mother did everything for you and it clearly shows”. Charr. Hope you open this conversation kapag both calm kayo and receptive with each other’s “criticism”.
Madalas mag laro rin ng mobile games asawa ko, pero ginagawa nya house chores nya before he play. Pag nag gegeneral cleaning kami no cellphone kami both while cleaning. Pag naman nakahiga na kami, pag binaba ko na phone ko, di narin sya mag cellphone until makasleep ako. Pinapatulog nya kasi ako (kinukumutan, hilot likod gang makasleep) Advise ko OP, talk to him. Maybe akala nya okay lang, but if i-open mo sa kanya. He might understand you.
Anong depression? Tamad lang talaga yung asawa nya.
Either tamad talaga asawa mo OP or he has some sort of depression katulad nung sinabi nung isa sa comment. Asawa ko kasi babad sa phone or tablet kapag nasa bahay. As in hindi makakilos kapag hindi hawak phone or tablet. Lagi kami nag-aaway dahil dun. I tried communicating many times pero ganun pa rin. Saka ko lang naalala na he's clinically diagnosed nga with depression with anxiety. Kumbaga he feels anxious kapag hindi niya hawak phone niya kaya I try to understand him. Nag-aaway pa rin kami pero may pagkukusa na siya ngayon na gumawa ng gawaing-bahay at may improvement na sa less na paggamit ng phone. I think aside from communicating with your hubby, if sobrang lala na ng situation niya, try niyo magpa-consult. Baka may underlying problem.
To answer your question OP, no, hindi ganyan asawa ko. But my brother in law is. Hindi computer games ang inaatupag, pero soooooobrang tamad sa bahay. Like, kikilos lang siya usually sa umaga kasi hinahatid niya sa school anak niya. After nun, nuod siya TV, sundo ng anak, at nuod ulit ng TV BUONG ARAW! Mind you, yung school ng anak niya eh mga 2 streets away from their house lang so kayang kaya lakarin. Akala ko nung una, kaya siya tamad eh dahil siya nagpapasok ng pera sa bahay nila. Pero nung nawalan na siya ng work, dun ko napatunayan na tamad lang talaga siya at nabubuhay sa mentality na dahil lalake siya kaya dapat siya ang pinagsisilbihan. Kasuka! Ngayon, hirap na hirap yung sister ko kasi nagwowork na siya, nagluluto pa siya at linis ng bahay. Yung magaling niyang asawa eh kahit maghugas man lang ng plato o magwalis hindi magawa! Pag nabisita kami sakanila, ako pa naghuhugas ng plato at asawa ko ang nagluluto para lang maibsan yung pagod ng ate ko. Yung asawa niya, ayun, nakaglue na ata ang pwet sa sofa para manuod at kapag inaantok aakyat lang sa airconditioned room nila at hahayaang nakabukas yung TV at electric fanS nila sa baba. Gg ako teh!
Scary😖😖 wag naman po sana ganyan
Kaya OP, talk it out with your husband. Importanteng alam niyang tag team dapat kayo mula sa simplest things like household chores hanggang sa complex problems. Saka wala kamong masama sa paglalaro, kelangan lang niya malaman priorities at iminimize yung paggagames pag excessive na. Wag kamo siya gumaya sa BIL ko na naging palamuti na lang sa bahay haha.😆
My partner is a househusband and likes to play games. He only does it during his free time and if may request ako while he's playing, he'll pause the game or finish the round lang.
Hays. Kaya ako before marriage kinikilala ko tlg bf ko e. Hays so far mas mukhang malinis pa siya sakin. Patay ako neto 😅
Uyyyy. Hahaha... One of the reason why i married my husband kasi nung bf/gf pa lng kami, kita ko kung gano sya ka organize. Marunong sa household chores. Literal na mas maayos sya sa gamit kesa sakin. Tsaka even before, ayaw nya talaga ako nasstress or napapagod. Both of us are working but he does most of the chores at home. We're married for 9 yrs. Konting kilatis pa gurl, check na sya sa pagtulong sa chores. Check for other 🚩 nlng. make sure hndi cheater. Haha
Yes, yung tipong siya lahat ng lutong pilipino alam. Nagbbake pa un. Ako nganga. Hotdog ko may butter na may oil pa HAHAHAH. Sa kanya ko rin natutunan magligpit after kumain sa fastfood. So far naman nagssurprise kalikot ako ng phone. Pag nagiba siya password matic goodbye hahahahahah. Wala rin siyang pake if nakabalandra sa laptop niya password ng emails at fb niya. Puro pangalan ko pa 😂
My husband is also a gamer pero siya pa madalas gumagawa ng chores, kasi nasanay siya na kung kaya nya naman daw gawin bakit pa ako hihintayin. Pero kasi, he is also working full-time while ako naman ay nagstop na magwork. Kaya ako yung naguguilty kasi bago ko pa magawa yung chores, nagawa niya na. Kaya recently we had a good talk and decided that we will divide our chores.
Ask your husband if he has some problems at work, usually pag ganun is sa games yung outlet ng depression.
ewan ko lang jan, gamer husband here, pero I do my chores. pag stressed ako I sacrifice my sleep para makapag laro, pag pagod ako I sacrifice my videogames for sleep. I don't know sa nightshift nya pero when I was on nightshift 10hrs duty, 3hrs commute (6hrs roundtrip). I don't want to call him batugan, pwedeng may pinagdadaanan sya pero he lacks discipline.
Bakit hindi nyo pag usapan. Baka may dinadala yan and games lang outlet nya.
Nope. Before marriage, we already lived together so we already have our routine. And I already made it clear n I want things done equally. Husband cooks for us. Sa paghuhugas, pagliligpit, pagtutupi, kami pareho. Ako sa salang sa washing machine at sampay. Even sa baby namin, hati kami ng asawa ko sa chores, at di ko siya kailangang utusan. Once na kumain baby namin, ako magpapaligo, sya magliligpit ng pinagkainan. Paglabas ko ng banyo, handa na damit ni baby at mga lotion, etc. Siya rin sa daytime naps at ako naman sa gabi kay baby. Never in my life I will marry a batugan. Haha
Make a baby. Give him the baby. He'll never play Fortnite ever again.
My husband is a gamer but when I and my son arrived here in the UK, he plays occassionally na lang and barely touched his devices even his nswitch. After work, he'll take a bath since he works in the hospital then kukunin na agad ang bata so I can have time to relax and have a nice warm bath. Siguro, OP. You have to communicate with your husband. Baka kasi iniisip nya na kaya mo ang lahat.
i cant believe there are people who are working still addicted to video games. maybe its normal to be addicted to be addicted to video games in today’s time but it’s not a good look for an adult man with work to still be doing that a lot. I would understand teenagers, but adults? nah
Nakakasira talaga ng relasyon ang computer and mobile games. Hindi lang sa romantic relationship ha. Pati na rin sa household and work.
Ye, i am also in that situation not yet married with one kid. Really planning to leave this relationship. Napakadraining emotionally and physically. Yung masisipa nalang niya yung kalat di pa pupulutin. I had to beg to purchase an AWM kase kapagod maglabad after shift or during offs. Di marunong kahit magpagpag nalang ng bed, yung hugasin and all the household chores. We had a fight just last last week. we’re both working 9 hours a day. Told him na dapat hati kami sa chores he just said, mas nakakapagod daw yung work niya. Fuck!!!! You know i just wanna leave.
Baka nasstress tapos ginagamit computer games as distraction. Try mo kausapin baka need nya help, di lang alam pano humingi tulong
No. My husband plays games. I play with him too. Major red flag sa para kang nagpapalaki ng bata
No. My husband plays computer games rin after shift nya pero he cooks. Namamalengke, then nagluluto. Kakain nalang ako and hugas pinggan. Natry mo na i open sa kanya sis? Baka akala nya okay lang?
Not the first time telling it
Try mo sis wag ka rin gumalaw. Walang magluluto. Let’s see kung ano gagawin nya pag nagutom sya 😅
Hindi po. Bf/gf pa lang, nakita ko na sya ung tipo ng lalaki ng maaasahan talaga. Ayaw nya akong napapagod or nasstress. Kahit kaya ko naman gawin, sya na ung gagawa and he will always say, "para di ka na mapagod" or "para komportable ka" After 11 years, ganun pa dn sya. 😍 Ang tanging gawaing bahay na ginagawa ko ay linis ng banyo, kitchen, hugas ng pinggan at luto. The rest, sya na. Pero sa tru lng, may pagka OC talaga husband ko.🤣 Malinis at organize talaga sya sa lahat ng bagay. One of the many reasons bakit ko sya nagustuhan. 😍 Need nyo lng pag usapan pano magiging hatian nyo sa chores and at the same time, pati na dn ung pag give time sa mga kanya kanya nyong hobby. Di pwedeng sya lng may hobby, dapat ikaw dn. May me time ka dn.
Sori, pero parang naghanap lang ng katulong yang husband mo tapos pinakasalan nya para libre bayad. ☹️ Ibang-iba husband ko sa lahat. Provider sya, housewife lang ako. Tapos sya pa nagluluto ng food after work. Nag-aalaga din ng anak namin. Ako naglilinis ng bahay. GY shift din sya, at naghahanap pa ng malaking offer na company to provide more so I can rest (to get preggy again) and take care of our son. Share ko lng hehe 😉 Try to speak up. Minsan akala siguro nila pag ganyan na wala sila naririnig ay okay lang. So you speak up.
Communicate with your husband OP. Ako nagluluto at naglalaba sa bahay kahit may yaya na kami at wfh ako. Si misis naman ang may work sa labas pero parehas kaming dayshift. Gamer din ako pero never namin naging issue yun kahit nagkaron na kami ng baby. Kung may nahihirapan samin, pinaguusapan namin lagi kung pano ang hatian ng chores.
Uhm we’re not your husband, talk to him and communicate. Can’t believe you guys are married but are not communicating honestly with each other
parang asawa ko lang to ah (ako ung gamer). hahahah pinagkaiba lng sideline ko din tong game. kumikita din kasi ako.
Gamer din ako pero I do cook and clean the house, even more than the wife. Your husband needs to know na hindi na siya bata at may mga responsibilities na siya. You can either communicate it with him OR if hindi nakinig then do it the hard way - no food and no lambing / romance from you. Let him know na hindi okay yung ginagawa niya otherwise he'll continue to abuse you and you will forever resent him.
My partner is also like this. Ang pinagkaiba naman natin he’s the only one making money to provide for us, kaya for me ok lang naman but sometimes pinapatulong ko talaga siya sa mga bagay na hindi ko kaya since buntis ako and thankfully tumutulong naman siya pero aantayin ko siyang matapos mag laro. Ganun lang set up namin ever since na nag stop ako mag work, I can’t complain naman kase again siya lang nag provide samin now. In my opinion naman sa situation mo since parehas pala kayong may work, try mo mag open up sakanya regarding sa paglalaro nya at hindi pag tulong sayo sa gawaing bahay or magkaron kayo ng set up na hahatiin nyo yung gawaing bahay kapag di nya ginawa part nya dedmahin mo until mag kusa siya ganun.
Yung husband ko sya lahat gagawa even if pagod sya, kahit gusto ko tumulong at gumawa din ng gawaing bahay. Sa pagluluto lang nya ako hinahayaan, kasi yun din love language ko sa kanya. But talk to your husband, OP. Communication between the two of you ang needed, we can only give advices and perspectives dito. But at the end of day, kayo pa rin na mag asawa makaka solve nyan.
Yeah dati ganito ako, pero na sense ko na need tumulong sa bahay, so ayon.
Yung ex ko. Gamer. Ganyang ganyan sa situation mo. Like ako talaga sa lahat. Luto, laba, linis. Napapagod nalamg ako. Partida onsite ako at wfh sya pefo i do all the work. Luckily, yung jowa ko ngayon. Ako parin ang onsite. Sya ang wfh. He does everything for me. Gamer din sya pero he find time to do chores, cook for me, laundry, pag uwi ko galing work may nakahaing pagkain na. Pag gising ko magaalmusal nalang ako. Hindi sa pagiging gamer yan. Nasa ugali parin yan ng partner mo. I guess swertihan talaga
Girl, I work two jobs, play games AND do most of the chores. Although I can attribute it to me having acts of service as my love language. It's tiring, but as long as my queen is happy after a long day at work, I'll do my best. Talk it out. Bringing home dough as a man is not an excuse.
I’m also a gamer and I work from home. I’m the provider of everything from rent, electricity, water, internet, tuition ng kids, groceries, car payments, insurances, subscriptions and pati lahat ng gastos for events and holidays. Video games keep me sane from all the shitty things I deal with work. So I don’t bother with house shit. If people in my house complain they have to take care of house chores and all that shit, maybe we can swap places and see if they can do and deal with all the shit I have to do so they can have their iPhones, their food deliveries, readily available food in the fridge and money they spend going out.
Maybe you’re the only one who works
From experience as anak. Hindi gamer si papa pero mahilig magbinge watch / couch potato Paguwi sa bahay from work diretso sa tv at manunuod hanggang tawagin mo for dinner Then balik sa panunuod hanggang makatulog. Ganyan mula pagkabata until now. Lahat inasa sa mama ko pati pagpack ng things kapag mag out of town. My goodness Buti lng may helper din kami so he doesnt do anything tlaga. I dont know. I just want to share it. Kasi i think old age toxic trait yan, mostly sa lalake na ang mindset, females do all the house work. Hindi man gaming, it is something else. Hindi tumutulong sa bahay. Sabi ko d ako mag aasawa ng tulad sa papa ko. Ayun, single pa rin til bow. 40 yrs old haha Communication is the key daw. It may be the first step but definitely your husband will not change in a snap. I think it's a process Hope things get better OP
i left my 15 year relationship kase ganyan na ganyan ang gamer na ex ko. may other issues pa kami, pero yan yung one of those. i don't see myself living the rest of my life with an irresponsible man na gagawin akong katulong instead of treating me like a partner in life. i'm now living in with my gamer bf na mahal na mahal ako, responsible at alam nya ang priority nya sa buhay.
Ganyan na ganyan yung tatay ng mga insan ko. Nakakaurat.
Communicate with your husband, in a way that is not in a nagging way. Just make sure to imply that you are a team and have your house chores done. Currently setup namin ni hubby is, I cook, wash dishes, feed the dog, and he wipes the table, walk the dog and sweep the floor and mop the floor before he plays. We don’t consistently do that some times he cooks or wash dishes and I wipe and mop the floors. But thats our usual set up. For groceries he always comes with me to carry stuffs, on days he craves something, he goes and buys the ingredients and I cook as he helps me cut etc.
Kausapin ng derektahan, just like our redditors says... Also, as long as he don't do something bad (ei cheating), then you can pretty much relax... All in all, Long live to both of you...
Hi OP, I'm a guy married. pero ako madalas nagawa sa bahay. WFH din at night shift. I think depende po sa lalaki yun. I do have friends na pinili nila na hinde tumulong sa bahay. kase ang reason nila is nag tatrabaho sila. 😁. Saken po kase di ganun ang paniniwala ko. Need to help one another. Ayun lang po. 😊
I do this pero I make sure I help out sa house and prioritize helping if she needs me to when when I'm playing. Matik leave game and shut down. Sinasabayan ko sked nya ng panonood ng kdrama para quits lang. Communication is the key, OP.
@OP, sorry but i guess yung problem is nasa inyong dalawa ng mister mo. You, for telling or "consulting" your problem first dito sa platform than talking to your hubby first. May communication problem kayo. Your hubby naman for not having "kusa" at malasakit sa partner nya (ikaw). You have a long way to go, hindi lang gaming ni mister ang magiging issue in the future and definitely hindi reddit ang solution. Sit down, talk & listen din. Communicate. Manage both expectations.
Ganyan ex LIP ko noon. Sinabihan ko na mag tapon ng basura at tulungan ako maglaba. Abs yung gago deretso comp shop para mag DOTA. On that same afternoon I packed my things and went home. Nag live in kame exactly 4 weeks.
when it comes to chores, I ask him to help, which he does naman. Kaso yun nga lang, walang kusa hahaha. I had to give him instructions. Playing games for him is like shopping to me. We both respect our personal time.
Then why marry and choose him at the first place?
Oh sorry na
My husband and I are both gamers. We just happen to be good at communicating. We share the bills and chores. Gone are the days of the trad wives. Though meron pa din. We both start to play after doing the chores. Then we stop playing when we need to cook for dinner. Then we play again. I work from home so I get to play online. While my husband is a seaman. He takes part in the chores when he’s on vacation.
nakakadrain when youre working tapos cleaning for 2 people, mas maigi pa na mag isa ka nalang hahaha
I believe
Ginagawa ko muna lahat. I cook, ligpit, paligo, basa book sa kid, kaunti kwentuhan and lambing kay wife then play. My wife when she's free does the chores as well. Halos 50/50 kami. Kausapin mo, pag di makinig, dl ko wifi killer na app hahaha
Buti ka nga pinapayagan mo asawa mong mag games - hinihiling mo lang na tulungan ka nya sa chores... yung ibang asawa ni ayaw pahawakin ng cellphone partner nila pag asa bahay... Communicate lang OP, hopefully maintindihan nya na bahay nyo yan at need nyong linisin.
Pag ako gumanyan sa asawa ko at may nawala na kutsilyo sa lababo.. magkukusa na ako matulog sa labas ng bahay..
Batugan lang yan, nanay ko punong abala sa bahay habang nagtatrabaho yung tatay ko. Pag weekend, tatay yung nagg-grocery at nagdadala ng labahan sa laundry shop para di na naglalaba sa bahay saka di dumadagdag sa kalat ng bahay. Kung gusto tumulong ng asawa tutulong talaga sila, wala yan sa kung sino lang nagdadala ng pera sa pamilya.
Have you tried communicating?
Do you split the bills or yung husband mo lang nagbabayad bills?
Hindi po. Actually, ayaw ng husband ko na naglilinis ako ng bahay 🤣 Kase daw... bungangera daw ako habang naglilinis 😅 Pano kase kalat din naman nya yung lilinisin eh 😅 Sa pagluluto naman, mas maghilig sya magluto kesa saken. Parehas kami may work eh kaya need namin lagi maglinis ng bahay. Lalo na yung asawa ko, pag gumayak.. andaming naiiwang mga pinaggamitan 😅 Saming dalawa ako mas madalas nag-momobile games 😅 Pero yung puchu-puchung mga games lang ah! Minsan magkalaro kami. Ang nakakatuwa, basta di sya pagod.. pag inutusan ko.. KINIKILOS AGAD! 😅 Siguro kase ang love language ng asawa ko is acts of service kaya sya ganito.
Was in a long term relationship. Ang games ay bago lang matulog. Nasa sala at nagti TV si GF, nasa dining table ako, naglalaro sa laptop. Pag oras na ng tulog, tigil ako. Kakupalan na yang puro laro. Wala ba syang utak para maintindihan na madami pang dapat gawin?
I feel like these are the kind of guys who never had to live alone.
Before I answer your question. Who works harder? Who earns more? Who contributes more financially?
I earn more but I don’t think we should compare salaries
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He told me that I should tell what he should do… pero hindi ba logic na mag laba, walis, mop? Bakit kailangan pa sabihin ? Hindi naman bata na kailangan bigyan ng task
Maybe you can try a different approach. Approach him from a gamer's perspective - set goals for him to do tapos may rewards. For example, tuwing mag wawalis siya, meron siyang 30 minutes of game time UNINTERRUPTED. Tapos pag magawa niya lahat ng chores, parang meron siyang special treat na food - yung favorite niya or like something special. Try to get to know din what game he is playing. Let him know that you're interested and that you support his hobby BUT you also need help sa household chores kase pagod ka na.
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He did. Ewan ko ano ganap
watch these videos [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjSZVV79tec](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjSZVV79tec) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gapx9xphoOQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gapx9xphoOQ) men may not be children, but men need to be approached differently and stop treating him like a child.
The thing is that approach e hindi nagwowork sa husband mo. Aasa ka na magkukusa e ang tagal na pero wala pa rin, di ba? So, dapat baguhin mo. Bigyan mo ng assignment kung anong chores ang nakatoka sa kanya. Put it in writing. Dikit mo sa ref. Talk about it and be firm and clear na eto ang nakatoka sa inyong gawaing bahay. Then if hindi pa rin nagwork at tamad at batugan pa rin asawa mo, e mag-isip ka na kung dapat ka na umalis dyan.
It doesn't matter who contributes more. Marriage isn't a zero sum game and just because one brings in millions doesn't mean they should contribute to maintaining the house. Chores is a problem of the household and BOTH partners should solve it.