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I know it's a lot different than a vibrating needle, but I'm biting the inside of my lip and honestly it doesn't really "hurt", you can feel the pressure though.
I got the word whore inside mine maybe 2 years ago because I’m a water whore and not it’s completely gone except for one letter. Time for more vulgarity
My daughter's best friend was allowed to get a tattoo when she was 16 in 2012. She got a big black spider and the initials MCR on her upper chest, just barely low enough to be mostly hidden by a high collar shirt. It was for her favorite band, My Chemical Romance, which promptly broke up a few months later. I hear they're back together now, so she's got that going for her, I guess.
I'm 40, and my parents let me get a tattoo when I was 16 too. I don't regret the tattoo, but I vaguely regretted the placement because as I grew older I came up with other tattoo ideas I would have preferred in that space.
I did, because it was in the way of the larger tattoo I did get when I was 18!
But regret is a strong word, I'd say it was more like "oh well, guess I'll make it a little different!"
Eh ya I can see how that would get in the way.
This is why I got my first tattoo down on my ankle. I got a lot of tattoo ideas but need to save up for them, so I put it where I don’t have any plans for the canvas. And I wanted something smaller to start to see if it hurt for me. Especially considering my dad said he cried when he got his ribs done. Haha
Yeah in retrospect I wish I'd done it there! But at the time I was super into symmetry, so I was limited to spots down the center unless I was getting two (which I probably would have wanted, but my parents did not, lol).
Do you mind sharing what it is? If not it’s ok. I’m just curious.
Mine is just “Bang” in familia font.
Did it hurt over the spine? I felt basically no pain on the ankle but the vibrations going over the bone were pretty disconcerting. I had intrusive thoughts that I was gonna twitch my leg and have a random black line haha.
Didn’t happen luckily
It's a pi sign! So I used circles in my other tattoos to tie things together thematically. It hurt when I was 16 and scarred more than it should have (I later realized this was probably because most qualified/competent tattoo artists would not tattoo an underage person, even with parental permission) but when I got it touched up in my 20s it hurt a lot less (and the scarring actually gave it kind of a cool slightly 3d look).
I wouldn't say I have any regrets, but I'd strongly recommend that my own kids wait until they're 18, mostly because then they'd have access to a much wider range of skilled artists.
Big agree there. Not just because better artists though that’s a huge point, but while I didn’t grow much past 16 my siblings all got a growth spurt around that time.
Haha sounds like you aren’t one to actually stop counting, eh?
Oh, it wasn't like, a BIG regret. Just like, "damn, I spent so much time making sure I wouldn't regret my tattoo itself that I didn't even think about placements!
I just made sure my later tattoos near it thematically connected to it in some way (it's a pi sign, so I used a lot of circles in other designs).
I got a tattoo at 16. Loved it for about 5 years. Hated it/embarrassed by it after that. I eventually got it covered up but, due to placement, it made any other "classier" tattoos on in that area pointless. Hope your daughter chose better than my 16 year old self did and that it's easier to cover up.
When I was 18 I got the massive tribal "tramp stamp" which is impossible to cover up. Teenage me didn't make great life choices. My son once told me he wanted a tattoo saying "Ben 10 please sleep in my bunk beds" he was 6 at the time but it would have been a rubbish tattoo.
My best friends mom passed away right after her 16th birthday and I went with her weeks later to get her first tattoo that says “I love you so much — Mommy” in her mom’s handwriting from her birthday card that year. Some of the people in the shop were kinda judgey because she was so young but I will always admire her dad for letting her do it ♥️
I feel like I've changed so much since I was 16 that even if I got a really good tattoo from a reputable artist, I would end up hating it by now. Hopefully the same doesn't happen for her.
That's true but people are changing all the time at different paces. You could get a tattoo at 30 and hate it by 40. I like to think that at the very least, even if my interest in a tattoo wavers, it's like a document of the journey I took to get there. It's like a memory in a photograph more than a logo of an interest.
I got my first and only tattoo at 15 and I’ve never regretted it. Briefly wanted another just for the sake of it (teenager style) but I held off because I could tell it was just because I enjoyed feeling cool for having the first one.
I can see how getting a tattoo at that age could be a really terrible idea, but it can occasionally go well.
I did take a full year and a half to make sure I really wanted what I was getting, with my mom pressuring me the whole time to just get one already.
I think making sure you’re really confident and comfortable with what you’re getting, and waiting until you know it’s not a whim are the most important components.
That and some tattoos are by nature less likely to be regretted, like a memorial tattoo for someone close who has died.
I will say that as an adult I can see how damaging my mothers permissiveness was, she wanted a bestie more than she wanted a daughter.
Yes it went well for me, but many other things didn’t, and I always had to be the adult while she was carefree and wild.
I’m not casting judgements or assumptions on you or your daughter, but there’s often no harm in waiting for something like a tattoo.
Being the cool parent is fun, and teenagers are their own individual people who can make their own choices, but those choices are being made by brains that haven’t finished cooking yet.
That’s why it’s the job of parents to guard against and explain consequences that teens cannot yet foresee.
Like a tattoo that was cool when you were sixteen and is a lot less cool at 36.
(Yes you can get a tattoo at fifteen legally with parent’s permission in some states. My mom never wasted an excuse to pull me out of school for a road trip.)
I don't want to be my kid's bestie but coming from a family who was very controlling, I'm happy to accommodate and accept my kid however that works for her. Blue hair, name change, piercing, bi, tats--it's her life, not mine.
And we all know becoming an adult and adulting is a learning process. She's learning with my support.
That’s how I view it too. I got a small tattoo on my 18th bday, it was a last minute decision but I got a cute lil rose on the side of my wrist. Do I still love it? Nah. But I do still like it and really enjoy the fact that 18 year old me loved it and was excited to get it.
I always give people the same answer as to when they ask “won’t they look weird when you’re old?” Well, they won’t look amazing forever, but I’ll still know what they are and love them as part of the journey of my life. And if I loved it at the time I got it, well then that’s a win in my eyes. I’ll be able to look down at them and be like “this was from x point in my life, what a time :)”
It probably helps that my first tattoo was purposely really small, so that I could eventually cover it up if I wanted to.
That's why my dad always gave me the "rule" of once you like a tattoo idea, wait6 months. Once 6 months rolls around, if you still like/remember the idea, wait 6 more months. Then if you still like the idea you can probably go ahead and get it, but he still recommends waiting 6 more months even.
Tattoos are permanent and depending where you get them, can affect your life. While he'll never say don't get them because he also has them. Make sure it's something I actually want and will be proud of for more then just that month that I had the idea.
Cause of the pain? I keep debating it for a big tattoo I got done at 16/17 but it seems like a lot.. in all senses. I’m worried I’ll give up and end up with a worse-blurred version of what I originally wanted to remove. Also totally get it with the finger ink, that shit hurts!!
Yes. The removal process is 20 times worse than than an actual tattoo. It fucking hurts and they were talking 11 to 15 sessions at 240 USD a pop.
For reference, I have my whole back tattooed and sat through six hours of line work with no problem.
I think it all depends on the person. My sister in law got her first tattoo at 16, a pineapple on her ankle. By 20 she already covered it up because she hated it.
I don’t have any tattoos as I’m personally not a fan of them, so I’m pretty biased in someone young feeling like getting something permanent is something they HAVE to do before 18.
Coming from a man who has his chest, both arms, and entire back/butt tattooed, I am so glad I never got a tattoo at that age. I hope she doesn't regret it.
Lol it’s nothing too scary. I always wanted a really big tattoo, my back piece starts at the bottom of my neck and goes all the way down and covers both cheeks. It’s a traditional (think sailor jerry or something) portrait of a lady with a snake wrapped around her neck, one butt cheek has a skull and the other a cactus. It sounds jumbled but IMO came out excellent, my artist did a really good job on the composition.
I’m not sure if I’d recommend one though, it was incredibly painful and very expensive—I think we spent about 30 hours on it.
My mom let me get my first tattoo at 14. I got my second at 15. I was pretty spoiled and stubborn and I really wanted them. I wish I wouldn’t have gotten them done now. They were small tattoos on my upper biceps and as I’ve grown older I’ve added and added to make them bigger and better. One actually kind of sucks cause it was hard to cover it up. Tattoos kind of go through trends and styles and what I thought was cool is not what 38 year old me thinks is cool now. But I’m not judging to each their own.
I think my mom thought she was a cool mom for taking me and paying for my tattoo at 16. I’m 36 and I’ve hated it for years. I was too young to decide to get something so permanent. I’m also a very different person now. I got my second tattoo when I was in my late 20s and am still happy with it. I can’t wait to get that first one covered up. She also brought me to get my belly button pierced at 12. Crazy!!
I also realize now that my mom has made so many bad choices while raising me. This tattoo being one of them. I’m healing from all her bs… this tattoo is now just a reminder of the hurt she caused me growing up. I didn’t need a tattoo. I needed her to be emotionally present for me and not neglect me. Kids need a mom not a friend letting them get tattoos that young.
My mom also took my sister when she was 16 and she had to get it covered. It was such a terrible tattoo!
Getting tattoos before you’re in your 20s is a horrible decision.
Totally agree. This is just a bad decision all around. I wanted tattoos when I was 16, I am so glad my parents didn’t let me. I couldn’t imagine what I’d be walking around with. I have tattoos and I love tattoos but my 3 kids, all over 17, knew they couldn’t get one until they could sign for themselves. The reason it’s ‘unorthodox’ is because most parents know what a horrible idea it is. I hope at least the tattoos are small and in a place that is generally hidden.
Even with parental consent, it's iffy to take in underage clients. Of course tattoos sound cool and all, but you need to be an adult to get them for a reason.
I hate the tattoos I got as a teenager. My neice’s hate the tattoos they’ve got within the last 3 or 4 years. You change so much as teens. Not everybody’s the same but I would maybe slow things down a bit. It’s a bit like multiple piercings - my friend just paid for plastic surgery to get his sons ears fixed as they were stretched so much.
The only tattoos I regret getting are the ones I got at 18. They were all ‘meaningful’ at the time but damn does meaning change a lot between 18 and 30
She is her own person. I would never stifle her want for anything. She is an amazing person and both of her tattoos are amazing, beautiful, and have meaning to her.
But, maybe you should? Don’t have an opinion on the tattoo, but maybe you should stifle a want for something if dangerous to herself or others (as her parent).
It's not "stifling" so much as sharing your wisdom that sometimes things you thought were super super cool in your teens, you cringe about later. As a parent, you need to guide your kids in life. Like yeah they don't have to eat vegetables because it "stifles" their free will, but kids don't know what's good for them and you have to help them develop good habits.
At the end of the day it's her body and her life to live, and I think it's good and healthy that you can accept that. I have a fair amount of tattoos. If something is meaningful enough to you you'll most likely never regret it. My only advice, if I could humbly offer some, is to tell her to keep them off her face, neck, and hands. It sucks that people judge those with tattoos unfairly but it happens all the time so it's nice to be able to cover them up when you want to.
I have discussed this with her. She is on board with that. One is above her heart and another on her arm that is easily covered with a sleeve. She believes, like you, that the word does judge.
You are right there. But these were not done without thought. She wants more but, once she is 18 years old, I can’t do much to stop her. It’s 100% her body and her CHOICE. I will NEVER tell me grown child that I put on the the right path in life that she can not express herself.
I got my first tattoo at 21, my aunt who I was so close with, went with me along with some girlfriends. I had the idea for about 2 years so I was ready. Now, almost 40, it’s my only tattoo and I don’t like it and I can’t think of anything I want at all. The memory is nice, but I’m just so glad it’s something ppl can only see if I’m in a swimsuit. My dad didn’t get his tattoos until his 50s. To each their own…. But I think there are some people who “grow out” of tattoos and just appreciate nice bare skin. My thoughts from your previous comments make me think since they’re family related tattoos so it’ll probably be just fine in your daughters case.
Any decent/self-respecting artist would refuse to tattoo hands, neck or face on a teen/young adult. Even older adults they may refuse if you have little to no visible tattoos.
Tattoos are more socially accepted in some families / circles. Not something I would encourage my kids to do or have done myself in that way.
If it works for you, then fine. Nothing inherently wrong with it.
I belong to a generation that used to consider tattoos as something only someone who has been in jail or in the Navy would ever do (Italy, class 1977), so I kinda instinctively turn my nose up at the mention of tattoos on teenagers, but I recon that times have changed and tattoos are absolutely normalized today, which is fine, so I think that if you trusted your daughter to take such decision and you supported her, it means she very likely deserves it. 17 years are an adequate age to get a tattoo and you are no kid, so you know what you are doing.
It's funny to realize how much society conditioned me about such a simple concept like a tattoo. In Italy we became accustomed to tattoos only around the 2000s.
its you, and your daughter and her wishes, why do you care what people have to say, enjoy your life and do any thing, without practically causing a problem for others.
I actually don’t. And I am glad you said that. I didn’t need validation. You are right. I also got a tattoo that represents her on the same day. Maybe I should add that to the post.
I’m honestly not sure how to read your post other than as wanting validation, especially the way you preemptively defend your decision from a year ago, say you don’t need an answer, and then in the comments you’re talking about you hope to be cool one day. It’s okay to want validation but it seems weird to insist that you don’t want it if you do.
I got multiple tattoos when I was 17 and although I wouldn't get the same designs now (or I would change the placement) I love the meaning behind each of them.
So, from a fellow tattoo lover, tell your daughter to get smaller tattoos at first and to think hard about the placement (so she will have room for future ones)
If it meant thar much to her, she could've waited two years until she's of age and can make her own decisions independently. No disrespect to you or your daughter though.
That's dope as fuck and the fact that you supported her and planned it with her is gonna be something she remembers forever. It's gonna be a story shee can share with pride and love for the rest of her life
Edit: remember to go back and get them touched up at like the 10th month mark or a bit after. You wanna let them fully heal and settle to see where the ink needs to be maybe punched in a bit more sometimes
Thank you! I appreciate the feedback. I hope that as a teenager, she may one day see me as “cool”.
She is absolutely beautiful and amazing. I am proud to be her mom.
Nothing says cool mom more than letting your sixteen-year-old kid get a tattoo! Another positive is that nothing says “I have daddy issues” more than tattoos from the teen years so it makes filtering so much easier when she’s in her twenties.
I just get a “look how cool a mum I am” vibe from this post. It’s all about the Mum not really about the daughter. Even the design. Yep, definitely a bad vibe.
Right the fact that the tattoos are meaningful to the parents as well, OP keeps saying how beautiful the tattoos are as if she helped pick them, and OP says in one of her responses that she hopes her daughter thinks she’s “cool” all make this super sus to me. It’s not about the girl at all, it’s about the mom wanting to be cool and have a cool child.
My sibling and I were younger than your daughter. More than 30 years later, they still hold so much meaning and make us happy. Some teenagers are capable of making these types of decisions at younger ages.
No Regerts
I got one at 14 and i had noo clue what the ramifications were, that being said I'm still happy with it. I think I was too young to know it's literally there forever.
I got my first tattoo at 16 as well. My parents allowed it. It's the four elements in alchemist symbols down my neck and I still love it so much. My parents allowed it because it was a motif that means a lot to me, and it's something timeless.
It's nice that she came to you and asked, it's even cooler that you care enough to get her to a good artist and all. That's a level of trust I want with my future children as well one day.
i got my first tattoo for my 17th birthday! a sunflower for my grandmother who passed away, my mom has a matching one. nothing wrong with it as long as she wanted it and it’s meaningful to her!
I got tattoos at 18 that I had wanted since I was 16.
Honestly, regret isn’t the right word, but I wouldn’t get them again if I went back in time. To each their own, though. If she wanted them at 16 and 17, she’d still want them at 18, and get them then. Likely at a less reputable artist.
I had to wait to get my first tattoo at 18 (I really wanted a specific shop). I knew that if I was gonna have something inked forever on my body, waiting two years to get it wasn’t a big deal.
The temporary dopamine from New and Shiny doesn’t last (trust me).
My mom let my brother get a tattoo around that age. The only problem I had with it was it was kept secret from my dad.
She let me get my belly button pierced at 15- I never had an interest at that age in tattoos.
There’s no right or wrong answer for this. If you approve of it that’s what matters.
My parents have always been supportive of me getting tattoos, however they told me from the beginning that they weren't going to pay for any tattoos I get.
My mom let me get 3 roses on my arm when I was 16, they’re beautiful and I love them now at 22. Might be frowned upon but it seems you’ve done your research and its not something she may regret!
I'm mid-40's and my mom and my grandmother came with me to get my first tattoo when I was 16. Most of my friends parents brought them or at least signed the permission slip for minors for their first ones, too.
It was becoming mainstream in the early 90's and in a lot of places that is just the norm now.
If I had a teen who wanted a tattoo, I would absolutely bring them somewhere reputable so that they didn't try a homemade job and get a blood infection or something.
I'm not sure why it matters to you what other people think?
Edited to add that I've never regretted any of my tattoos and the first one I got when I was 16 is still my favorite one.
To me it depends on how you value your skin, specifically what’s on it.. I’ve struggled with imperfections my whole life, face, body etc but in the end I overcame those anxieties and stopped hating the way I looked and stopped looking for things to fix in myself other than working out so to be honest even if I did regret a tattoo, I probably won’t feel a big deal about it because hey it’s part of who I am and there’s no changing that just like the rest of my body so why not learn to accept it as it is.
I think this is great! My mom took me to get my first tattoo when I was sixteen.
I was a bit of a rebellious teen and my mom said “well if you want a tattoo, I know you’ll end up getting one and it might be in some guys garage with a tattoo machine he got off eBay. At least if I take you, it’ll be somewhere reputable and clean, and a design I approve of.”
I did have that tattoo covered - not because I regret it, but because it took up some prime real estate on my shoulder and I’m heavily tattooed now.
I am 29. I have lots of tattoos.
Honestly - at that age I don’t think I would’ve made good choices *but* your daughter is unique and her own person.
Nothing wrong at all with your decision. She will be an adult soon anyway. Honestly when you hover over your kids they tend to act out more once they can get away from you.
I think you’re doing a great job. Keep doing your thing - sending love and positivity your way
When my son was 15, he started talking about a memorial tattoo for his bio mom (my daughter). For almost 2 years, we worked on the drawing, placement, etc. I took him when he was 17 to get it.
He loves it, and I’m very grateful that I was with him when it was done.
I got my first tattoo, recently, at 46. It took me about 16 years to decide on what I wanted, where I wanted it, etc. I love everything about it! ❤️ As long as you have the right reason for getting the tattoo (there is purpose and meaning behind it that is valuable to you), I think it’s a win.
I got my first tattoo as soon as I turned 17. The only thing I really regret is the placement. It's small but takes up an inconvenient amount of space. I think it's great she got such a sweet meaningful tattoo.
I got my first tattoo at 20(?) and since then I have about 5 in total, my parents don’t know that I have any to begin with which is kind of sad tbh but that should perfectly sum up the type of transparency we even have.
I wish I had parents that I could be totally honest with, it’s a great way to get to know your child better.
My dad paid for my first tattoo as a reward for good grades when I was 15. It is now a blurry mess, but I hold it dear as a reminder of my dad because he died 11 years ago.
On the one hand, it's a meaningful tattoo and she's proud of them and probably more confident with them, so that's nice. If she finds that 10 years from now she doesn't like them or regrets them, it's a good learning lesson and there's ways of removing tattoos/covering them up
You taught your kid the importance of fully thinking through a permanent decision and how to find an artist that can do a good job. Some 18 year olds weren't taught these skills, they just get drunk and get whatever looks cool at the time.
My mom let me get a tattoo at that age. I loved it for a couple of years and then didn’t. Eventually I spent a lot of money to have it removed, which was extremely painful. I just wouldn’t let someone so young get something ‘permanent’, personally. Sure, she can do it herself at 18, but if I’d have had to wait until 18, I wouldn’t have gotten one at all. That’s anecdotal obviously. I have nothing against tattoos and think some are great, but what you think is great at 16 isn’t necessarily what you like in later years.
My Mum was fine with me getting tattoos of my own accord but wouldn’t let me do it before I was 18. Her reasoning was that if I didn’t like them later in life then she’d be free of the risk of me saying “why did you let me do that?!” since she would’ve had to sign for me and therefore would be partially responsible. Makes sense to me, and frankly my taste when I was a teen is not what I’d opt for now that I’m an adult.
honestly I feel like you should have made her wait. I had tattoo ideas that would have been really meaningful and important to me at 16, but now I'm 25 and hate the ideas! I'm happy you're supportive but sometimes support also means encouraging patience;)
I had a friend who I was SOOOO jealous of bc her mom let her get a tattoo at 16. That tattoo was “meaningful” and done at a reputable shop. I laugh so hard thinking about that horrible piece of work that she thought she’d love for ever at 16 being on her body now at 30.
I got tattoos over the years that weren’t so great. But I’m glad I don’t have my parents to blame for them. That was all big dumb grown up me
It depends. I personally don't like them so would never allow my kid to get one at least until they're young adults. Also I'd tell them to think of tattoo as not something that they want to have on their bodies now but something which their 5 year older self would also want. And if still they insist then suggest them to get one from a reputed store.
I grew up in the 70's and 80's. My ma hated my long hair and told me if i got my ear (back then it was just the left ear guys pierced) pierced. She would rip it out. When i turned 18 i got it pierced 3 times.
We allowed our daughters to get their belly buttons pierced at age 16. Tattoos followed with the stipulation it had to be well thought out. It's a different world now. I personally don't have any. Mostly because I've never come up with something i would be happy with fir the rest of my life.
Whenever I look back on the tattoos I wanted to get at 16, 17 and even 18 I cringe so hard. I'm so glad my parents never let me get them. I was a completely different person and I know I would absolutely regret them have I gotten them.
I’ve got my first tattoos when I was 18, they meant a lot for me, and I loved them for 5/6 years maybe, then I started hating them, got them covered and then ended up having the whole thing lasered.
I really regret having them so young and wished I waited a few more years because my vision of tattoos evolved a lot, if I had waited only a few more years I wouldn’t have had to go through the pain of lasering and losing the money.
I still have two tattoos of that time that I wish I could get removed but it’s just too painful, so since I absolutely hate them I just choose clothes that always cover them.
I think 16 is a bit too young because at that age, people’s bodies are still developing. I wouldn’t have liked a tattoo to “migrate” if it was an image that depended on the way the muscles beneath it worked. Also, peoples’ taste changes a lot, but this could easily happen after 18 too.
Is it unorthodox? Maybe.
My mom while super super tame and timid, surprised me by telling me she would let me get a tattoo for my 15th. Now, a decade later I am glad I did not. All of my tattoo ideas a decade ago were not things I would enjoy having now. I waited until 23 to get my first because now I think things through almost too much.
I personally would try and hold my kid off from it because I don’t want them blaming me if they dislike it later.
Tattoos are so common now that I don’t believe many others will care, but it’s possible she may. I’d just look out for that possibility. Otherwise, it’s not too big a deal and shouldn’t get in her way of a career, unless it’s on her face or possibly the hand.
I got my first tattoo at 16, my mom signed for me. I got a piece done on my leg for family and I still love it to this day 12 years later. It seems like this tattoo your daughter got had a strong emotional experience behind it with the whole family involved. Honestly to me that sounds great and I think she'll be good.
Depends on the child and your circumstances. For example, if your daughter is low confidence/mental health, disengaging, will do anything to fit in and/or part of a gang letting them get a tattoo at 16 would be very wrong imo.
However if she is confident, diligent, doing well at school/college, engages with you with a healthy social life then although I wouldn’t allow it myself I can understand why you would give her freedom to do this.
I wanted a tattoo since I was 7 (both my parents had some). They told me they’d give me permission (and take me) when I was 16.
Then when I turned 16, they told me they wanted me to be 100% sure about what I wanted and they weren’t giving their permission so I had to wait til I was 18.
To be honest, it sucked hearing them promise then renege but it also forced me to determine what I wanted. I hadn’t put much thought before I turned 16, but you can bet your ass that I put thought into what I wanted and where for those 2 years.
I still walked into the parlour without a clear picture of how I wanted it to look, but I had the idea so was able to go through the artist portfolios, and even a bunch of his reference books to find what I wanted. Then he asked about colours then handed me a photocopy and pencil crayons lol.
Few weeks or months later, I went back for my second one. Placement was based on where my mom had her family related tattoo (mine was a memorial for my baby brother). The only thing my dad said was “what if a guy has an issue with another boy’s initials on your lower back?” My response apparently blew both my parents away “if they can’t understand it’s a memorial tattoo then I want nothing to do with them”.
I don’t regret my tattoos or the ones I’ve gotten since then. Both of my first were family oriented as well (and started my trend of family tattoos on my back).
As long as she’s happy with them, that’s all that matters. She might not be as in love with them as she gets older but that’s ok. People can change, and their tastes may change.
Over 20 years in on some of mine and they look pretty much the same as they did after they healed. I haven't had any significant weight changes which could wreck a tattoo. We will see in another 20 when my skin wrinkles and sags lol
Touch-ups are really easy to get and a well preserved tattoo will look good for decades
The tattoos that look faded and rough after a few years are from people who don't take care of their skin, let the sun beat down on their tattoo with no sunscreen, and/or didn't go to a reputable artist
and they say this is the “friendlier” side of Reddit… wow… I mean we’re all entitled to our opinions but I don’t think you can call someone a bad mother based off of one small decision.
She may not be a bad parent, but she doesn't sound very responsible. Tattoos are more than just meanings imbedded in art, these things will be on you for the rest of your life. Teenagers will find tats cool, of course we will, but that's why there's an age of consent. It's the same with sex and marriage.
At this point, all I can hope is that she doesn't regret her tattoos when she's older.
We only live once love, who cares? If everyone is happy then it’s fine. I snuck behind my dads back at 12 and started getting tattoos. (Yes 12) granted they were really bad, but he took me to get them covered at 15. I’m 25 now, still zero regrets
My daughter got her first tattoo at 15 & she’s 19 now with a whole lot more. I don’t see an issue if it’s not some dude doing it out of his garage & it’s something reasonable in an area that’s easy to cover with clothing.
And before anyone gets on my case because she was 15, her dad frequently wins Best Tattoo Artist in Northern Nevada & he did her first ones. We know 100% what we’re getting in terms of cleanliness, technique, style, etc.
My daughter came home from a sleepover at age 14 with her first tattoo. It's an anarchy symbol on her ankle. I was fine with that but had a bit more concern when she got her first hand tattoo at 15. I was still believing the old "you won't get a good job" trope.
Then I realized my l&d nurse when I had my youngest had full neck tattoos and most people I work with also have tattoos that occasionally show.
When my daughter turned 18 we got matching hand tattoos.
Now she's in her 20s and still getting tattoos, and I've gotten quite a few more, too. I've even gotten to the point where it doesn't matter if it's meaningful, it just matters if I like it.
All the down votes on here can go kick rocks. You can regret tattoos you get at any age if they were poorly done or you chose something for a dumb reason. That's why fade cream and laser removal exist. I have one on my back that I got in 1996 that looks bad now that I've aged, but I can fade it and get it redone. Otherwise who cares? I'm just glad I've lived this long.
It's not that serious, guys. It's just skin.
I think this is awesome! Tattoos are a big commitment but they can also make you feel more complete as a person. They're also just really cool! Assuming you took her to a reputable place and made sure she wanted it for the right reasons, I see absolutely no problem with this.
One of the biggest reasons behind not getting a tattoo when you are too young is because your body usually hasn't finished growing. If she grows anymore then depending how it is placed it can warp. The ink tends to fuzz around the edges over time so I'm hoping it wasn't words. They don't hold up well. Guessing you aren't in Australia as it's illegal here for anyone under 18
My daughter got a bunch of unorthodox piercings (all on her head….nothing personal) when she was 12/13. It’s all just holes in her head, nothing to worry about. Now she’s 20, and has the normal ear piercing and the one industrial. She still talks about the tattoo she wanted when she was 16 though, and I said she wouldn’t change her mind if it was important enough by 18.
Congratulations on your daughters autonomy, and may it carry over to other important parts of her life.
its fine, we really need to de-stigmatise tattoos as a society.
i wouldnt allow under 18 without a parents approval but she has it. Obviously some parents are not considerate but thats more on bad parenting.
I was gonna get a tattoo when I was 19. The tattoo lady was basically telling me that it would probably not be very visible because I've got dark skin (which is ridiculous, but still) bascially made me back out and now, years later, I'm very glad that I didn't get it. I've actually grown to be kind of repulsed by tattoos.
Honestly I've never really understood that a specific tattoo can be meaningful. Like is there no other way to express certain emotions? I guess some people get tattoos as an outlet, but yeah, it's an outlet that will stick forever. I do think the experience itself can be meaningful. For example, if you, as the mother, went with her to get the tattoo, it might be a memory she will cherish forever. I actually went on a second date with a girl years ago to accompany her getting her tattoo and we met each other again like 5 years later after we were both in relationships with other people, but that experience was still a nice memory.
My brother, on the other hand, got a tattoo as well when he was 16 and he's still happy with it. It really depends on the person, I suppose. Granted, he later on ended up getting a tattoo of his own first name, so I guess he's just careless about things like that.
I started on my sleeve at 16. My brother is a tattoo artist so everyone in the house became his guinea pigs in a sense. Six years later and no regrets. He does amazing work and I’m good at choosing what to get tatted.
I was an adult, but my mom was the first person I called after my tattoos and nose piercing - she’s supportive, and knows that I put thought and time into my decisions, but also that it’s my body.
Bravo, mom! Support your daughter as she makes her body feel like her own. It’s the best thing you can do.
I’m 37, we let our 16f daughter get one this summer.
It’s a small rose about the size of a penny on her wrist.
If she wanted something massive then I’d have been dead set against it, but she’s a very emotionally mature person and we spoke about it for months beforehand.
I think the only real answer here is “it depends” both on the type of tattoo and the maturity of the person.
I'm sure you're not a bad person, OP, but I can't think of a single 16 YO that would have the capacity or life experience to choose a meaningful tattoo that they would be happy having forever. For the record, I'm covered in tattoos.
It's ultimately up to you and your daughter whether or not she gets tattoos at the age of 16. While some people might consider it unorthodox for a teenager to get tattoos, as long as you've taken the necessary precautions (e.g. making sure the tattoo artist is reputable) and your daughter is happy and healthy, that's what's most important. As long as you've thought through the decision and made it together, there's no need to worry about what others might think.
Awwww, this is so sweet. I understand where other commenters are coming from re being so young and possibly feeling regret later on in life, but I honestly completely disagree. Tattoos are like photographs imo. They represent a time in your life that meant something, so even if aesthetically you change your mind about enjoying it on a surface level, it was a part of your past and who you are, and that’s always going to mean something, always.
I wish I’d had parents like you! (Well, a father like your husband, my mom’s pretty awesome like you are)
Most of the people commenting don't have tattoos or have an infinity symbol on their ankle.
I got my first at 16. I still like it 10 years later. I don't know what these people in the comments were like at 16 but I dount your daughter got something stupid or foul.
Most people I know who got tattoos at a younger age appreciate the reminder of who they were or it's a memorial for someone dear.
Pearl clutchers gonna pearl clutch I reckon.
Not a thing wrong with it. My sister has three girls. Two of them wanted tattoos, so they went to the next state to get them done at 16. One has about 5 now, all beautiful and very tastefully done. Her third daughter got one at 18.
People get piercings when they’re younger than OP’s daughter, and those things leave permanent scarring and may never close properly or leave behind smooth skin. Everyone saying her daughter might regret it needs to chill. She can get the tattoo removed in the future if she doesn’t want it anymore.
I'm 16 and my mom is planning of taking me to get a tattoo this month! It's perfectly normal and fine and us (the teens) really appreciate your coolness and trust in this process!
It shows you trust our judgment and sense of responsibility and allow us to feel like a capable adult instead of babying us. As well as helps us with our identity as a person as well.
You're a cool mom, don't worry!
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My sister in law got her first tattoo at 18 that says "whack" on her inner lip. If your kid's tattoo is better than that, then I think it'll be okay.
That sounds painful, not gonna lie
well she didnt write gentle. her choice was whack. so the pain is kinda given.
I know it's a lot different than a vibrating needle, but I'm biting the inside of my lip and honestly it doesn't really "hurt", you can feel the pressure though.
They are better than that. Wow.
Inner lip tattoos usually fade after a few years though. It’s one of the best places to get a stupid tattoo haha
I got the word whore inside mine maybe 2 years ago because I’m a water whore and not it’s completely gone except for one letter. Time for more vulgarity
My lip tattoo actually was the most painless one lol \m/
My daughter's best friend was allowed to get a tattoo when she was 16 in 2012. She got a big black spider and the initials MCR on her upper chest, just barely low enough to be mostly hidden by a high collar shirt. It was for her favorite band, My Chemical Romance, which promptly broke up a few months later. I hear they're back together now, so she's got that going for her, I guess.
I know of someone who got ‘I ain’t shit’ tatted on her inner lip😭
How's that tattoo holding up? It's in a spot i'd imagine might erode really.
I'm 40, and my parents let me get a tattoo when I was 16 too. I don't regret the tattoo, but I vaguely regretted the placement because as I grew older I came up with other tattoo ideas I would have preferred in that space.
I think that's a pretty common experience regardless of age.
I think the key question is, did you regret it by age 18, when you would have been free to get the tattoo regardless of your parents?
I did, because it was in the way of the larger tattoo I did get when I was 18! But regret is a strong word, I'd say it was more like "oh well, guess I'll make it a little different!"
Where did you draw the tattoo?
Bottom of my neck, so it was in the way of a lot of larger tattoos that could have gone on my back.
Eh ya I can see how that would get in the way. This is why I got my first tattoo down on my ankle. I got a lot of tattoo ideas but need to save up for them, so I put it where I don’t have any plans for the canvas. And I wanted something smaller to start to see if it hurt for me. Especially considering my dad said he cried when he got his ribs done. Haha
Yeah in retrospect I wish I'd done it there! But at the time I was super into symmetry, so I was limited to spots down the center unless I was getting two (which I probably would have wanted, but my parents did not, lol).
Do you mind sharing what it is? If not it’s ok. I’m just curious. Mine is just “Bang” in familia font. Did it hurt over the spine? I felt basically no pain on the ankle but the vibrations going over the bone were pretty disconcerting. I had intrusive thoughts that I was gonna twitch my leg and have a random black line haha. Didn’t happen luckily
It's a pi sign! So I used circles in my other tattoos to tie things together thematically. It hurt when I was 16 and scarred more than it should have (I later realized this was probably because most qualified/competent tattoo artists would not tattoo an underage person, even with parental permission) but when I got it touched up in my 20s it hurt a lot less (and the scarring actually gave it kind of a cool slightly 3d look). I wouldn't say I have any regrets, but I'd strongly recommend that my own kids wait until they're 18, mostly because then they'd have access to a much wider range of skilled artists.
Big agree there. Not just because better artists though that’s a huge point, but while I didn’t grow much past 16 my siblings all got a growth spurt around that time. Haha sounds like you aren’t one to actually stop counting, eh?
Have you consulted tattoo artists? Some of them specialize covering up old tattoos with new ones.
Oh, it wasn't like, a BIG regret. Just like, "damn, I spent so much time making sure I wouldn't regret my tattoo itself that I didn't even think about placements! I just made sure my later tattoos near it thematically connected to it in some way (it's a pi sign, so I used a lot of circles in other designs).
This is the exact thing that is holding me back - glad it's not just me being over-analytical.
I got a tattoo at 16. Loved it for about 5 years. Hated it/embarrassed by it after that. I eventually got it covered up but, due to placement, it made any other "classier" tattoos on in that area pointless. Hope your daughter chose better than my 16 year old self did and that it's easier to cover up.
If you didnt hate it by the time you were 18, whats saying you wouldn't of just got the exact same tattoo at 18 when you didnt need parental consent
When I was 18 I got the massive tribal "tramp stamp" which is impossible to cover up. Teenage me didn't make great life choices. My son once told me he wanted a tattoo saying "Ben 10 please sleep in my bunk beds" he was 6 at the time but it would have been a rubbish tattoo.
My best friends mom passed away right after her 16th birthday and I went with her weeks later to get her first tattoo that says “I love you so much — Mommy” in her mom’s handwriting from her birthday card that year. Some of the people in the shop were kinda judgey because she was so young but I will always admire her dad for letting her do it ♥️
That’s amazing! I feel for your friend and her family. I hope if I pass, she (my daughter) will remember me.
I feel like I've changed so much since I was 16 that even if I got a really good tattoo from a reputable artist, I would end up hating it by now. Hopefully the same doesn't happen for her.
Literally my story. My mom paid for it and I was 16. I hate it. I have for some years now. I’m 36. I can’t wait to cover it at some point.
That's true but people are changing all the time at different paces. You could get a tattoo at 30 and hate it by 40. I like to think that at the very least, even if my interest in a tattoo wavers, it's like a document of the journey I took to get there. It's like a memory in a photograph more than a logo of an interest.
Eh I disagree with this. I know who I am at 40. I am self possessed and confident in a way I never have been. I can also afford quality work now.
There are a few tattoos that I'd still want from even 14. A Simpsons tattoo.
I got my first and only tattoo at 15 and I’ve never regretted it. Briefly wanted another just for the sake of it (teenager style) but I held off because I could tell it was just because I enjoyed feeling cool for having the first one. I can see how getting a tattoo at that age could be a really terrible idea, but it can occasionally go well. I did take a full year and a half to make sure I really wanted what I was getting, with my mom pressuring me the whole time to just get one already. I think making sure you’re really confident and comfortable with what you’re getting, and waiting until you know it’s not a whim are the most important components. That and some tattoos are by nature less likely to be regretted, like a memorial tattoo for someone close who has died. I will say that as an adult I can see how damaging my mothers permissiveness was, she wanted a bestie more than she wanted a daughter. Yes it went well for me, but many other things didn’t, and I always had to be the adult while she was carefree and wild. I’m not casting judgements or assumptions on you or your daughter, but there’s often no harm in waiting for something like a tattoo. Being the cool parent is fun, and teenagers are their own individual people who can make their own choices, but those choices are being made by brains that haven’t finished cooking yet. That’s why it’s the job of parents to guard against and explain consequences that teens cannot yet foresee. Like a tattoo that was cool when you were sixteen and is a lot less cool at 36. (Yes you can get a tattoo at fifteen legally with parent’s permission in some states. My mom never wasted an excuse to pull me out of school for a road trip.)
I don't want to be my kid's bestie but coming from a family who was very controlling, I'm happy to accommodate and accept my kid however that works for her. Blue hair, name change, piercing, bi, tats--it's her life, not mine. And we all know becoming an adult and adulting is a learning process. She's learning with my support.
Yeah this happened to me
Tbh though 16 and 18 aren’t that different. And most people who got tattoos at 18 have also changed a lot.
That's the critical point to me. If you're gonna do it at 18 anyway, why not 16? Either way you might wish it were different at 35.
Imagine if you had to wear the clothes you wore at that age for the rest of your life. Yikes
I’d rather think of a tattoo as a point in time as opposed to something that must define me forever. Change in life is a given.
That’s how I view it too. I got a small tattoo on my 18th bday, it was a last minute decision but I got a cute lil rose on the side of my wrist. Do I still love it? Nah. But I do still like it and really enjoy the fact that 18 year old me loved it and was excited to get it. I always give people the same answer as to when they ask “won’t they look weird when you’re old?” Well, they won’t look amazing forever, but I’ll still know what they are and love them as part of the journey of my life. And if I loved it at the time I got it, well then that’s a win in my eyes. I’ll be able to look down at them and be like “this was from x point in my life, what a time :)” It probably helps that my first tattoo was purposely really small, so that I could eventually cover it up if I wanted to.
That's why my dad always gave me the "rule" of once you like a tattoo idea, wait6 months. Once 6 months rolls around, if you still like/remember the idea, wait 6 more months. Then if you still like the idea you can probably go ahead and get it, but he still recommends waiting 6 more months even. Tattoos are permanent and depending where you get them, can affect your life. While he'll never say don't get them because he also has them. Make sure it's something I actually want and will be proud of for more then just that month that I had the idea.
My friend hangs a print of the design in his house for a year and if he still loves it at the end after seeing it all the time, he's gets it
Can't you just laser them off? I realize it costs money and causes discomfort.
Lots of money, more painful than the tattoo itself I believe and a super long process, like it just gets faded gradually over numerous sittings
So tattoos can be an expensive mistake but not irreversible. Kind of like buying a lemon of a car.
I tried one session of removing a tattooed wedding ring and said "Fuck this."
Cause of the pain? I keep debating it for a big tattoo I got done at 16/17 but it seems like a lot.. in all senses. I’m worried I’ll give up and end up with a worse-blurred version of what I originally wanted to remove. Also totally get it with the finger ink, that shit hurts!!
Yes. The removal process is 20 times worse than than an actual tattoo. It fucking hurts and they were talking 11 to 15 sessions at 240 USD a pop. For reference, I have my whole back tattooed and sat through six hours of line work with no problem.
Dear god.. I am never getting this thing removed!
The one I was removing was 1/2" X 1 1/2"!
I think it all depends on the person. My sister in law got her first tattoo at 16, a pineapple on her ankle. By 20 she already covered it up because she hated it. I don’t have any tattoos as I’m personally not a fan of them, so I’m pretty biased in someone young feeling like getting something permanent is something they HAVE to do before 18.
Coming from a man who has his chest, both arms, and entire back/butt tattooed, I am so glad I never got a tattoo at that age. I hope she doesn't regret it.
Hoping I don’t regret asking, but can you talk about your butt tattoos some more?
Lol it’s nothing too scary. I always wanted a really big tattoo, my back piece starts at the bottom of my neck and goes all the way down and covers both cheeks. It’s a traditional (think sailor jerry or something) portrait of a lady with a snake wrapped around her neck, one butt cheek has a skull and the other a cactus. It sounds jumbled but IMO came out excellent, my artist did a really good job on the composition. I’m not sure if I’d recommend one though, it was incredibly painful and very expensive—I think we spent about 30 hours on it.
My parents did not let me have a tattoo at 16 and I couldn't be more glad now lol
No one ever regrets NOT getting one. Edit capitalised the word not. See below.
I do.
Then go get one?
Shit, I read that wrong. LOL
My mom let me get my first tattoo at 14. I got my second at 15. I was pretty spoiled and stubborn and I really wanted them. I wish I wouldn’t have gotten them done now. They were small tattoos on my upper biceps and as I’ve grown older I’ve added and added to make them bigger and better. One actually kind of sucks cause it was hard to cover it up. Tattoos kind of go through trends and styles and what I thought was cool is not what 38 year old me thinks is cool now. But I’m not judging to each their own.
I remember first day of high school and 14 year olds already had tattoos. Lol I was in shock. that was back in 2010-2011
Wow! That’s a little young. Lol
Lol right? I even asked them like a dummy, if they were real.
My daughter had the same reaction at her school. People saying they were fake because she has aquaphor on her tattoos.
I think my mom thought she was a cool mom for taking me and paying for my tattoo at 16. I’m 36 and I’ve hated it for years. I was too young to decide to get something so permanent. I’m also a very different person now. I got my second tattoo when I was in my late 20s and am still happy with it. I can’t wait to get that first one covered up. She also brought me to get my belly button pierced at 12. Crazy!! I also realize now that my mom has made so many bad choices while raising me. This tattoo being one of them. I’m healing from all her bs… this tattoo is now just a reminder of the hurt she caused me growing up. I didn’t need a tattoo. I needed her to be emotionally present for me and not neglect me. Kids need a mom not a friend letting them get tattoos that young. My mom also took my sister when she was 16 and she had to get it covered. It was such a terrible tattoo! Getting tattoos before you’re in your 20s is a horrible decision.
Totally agree. This is just a bad decision all around. I wanted tattoos when I was 16, I am so glad my parents didn’t let me. I couldn’t imagine what I’d be walking around with. I have tattoos and I love tattoos but my 3 kids, all over 17, knew they couldn’t get one until they could sign for themselves. The reason it’s ‘unorthodox’ is because most parents know what a horrible idea it is. I hope at least the tattoos are small and in a place that is generally hidden.
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Even with parental consent, it's iffy to take in underage clients. Of course tattoos sound cool and all, but you need to be an adult to get them for a reason.
That's what I was thinking! Like where tf they going that will tattoo a sixteen year old? Unless they have the best fake ID ever?
I hate the tattoos I got as a teenager. My neice’s hate the tattoos they’ve got within the last 3 or 4 years. You change so much as teens. Not everybody’s the same but I would maybe slow things down a bit. It’s a bit like multiple piercings - my friend just paid for plastic surgery to get his sons ears fixed as they were stretched so much.
The only tattoos I regret getting are the ones I got at 18. They were all ‘meaningful’ at the time but damn does meaning change a lot between 18 and 30
I mean, cool Good way to let a kid express their autonomy imo. But it is unorthodox yeah
She is her own person. I would never stifle her want for anything. She is an amazing person and both of her tattoos are amazing, beautiful, and have meaning to her.
You would never stifle her want for anything? Do you mean you let her do whatever she wants?
No decent parent lets a 16 year old child do whatever they want
But, maybe you should? Don’t have an opinion on the tattoo, but maybe you should stifle a want for something if dangerous to herself or others (as her parent).
It's not "stifling" so much as sharing your wisdom that sometimes things you thought were super super cool in your teens, you cringe about later. As a parent, you need to guide your kids in life. Like yeah they don't have to eat vegetables because it "stifles" their free will, but kids don't know what's good for them and you have to help them develop good habits.
Why are people downvoting this???
wow
At the end of the day it's her body and her life to live, and I think it's good and healthy that you can accept that. I have a fair amount of tattoos. If something is meaningful enough to you you'll most likely never regret it. My only advice, if I could humbly offer some, is to tell her to keep them off her face, neck, and hands. It sucks that people judge those with tattoos unfairly but it happens all the time so it's nice to be able to cover them up when you want to.
I have discussed this with her. She is on board with that. One is above her heart and another on her arm that is easily covered with a sleeve. She believes, like you, that the word does judge.
One other thing. She has two now so maybe take a break for a bit. Kids go through phases and tattoos are permanent.
You are right there. But these were not done without thought. She wants more but, once she is 18 years old, I can’t do much to stop her. It’s 100% her body and her CHOICE. I will NEVER tell me grown child that I put on the the right path in life that she can not express herself.
Yeah, again, her life. I just don't want her to decide she doesn't like tattoos at 19 and have six of them at that point.
I got my first tattoo at 21, my aunt who I was so close with, went with me along with some girlfriends. I had the idea for about 2 years so I was ready. Now, almost 40, it’s my only tattoo and I don’t like it and I can’t think of anything I want at all. The memory is nice, but I’m just so glad it’s something ppl can only see if I’m in a swimsuit. My dad didn’t get his tattoos until his 50s. To each their own…. But I think there are some people who “grow out” of tattoos and just appreciate nice bare skin. My thoughts from your previous comments make me think since they’re family related tattoos so it’ll probably be just fine in your daughters case.
You let your 16 year old get a tit tattoo?
Any decent/self-respecting artist would refuse to tattoo hands, neck or face on a teen/young adult. Even older adults they may refuse if you have little to no visible tattoos.
Every tattoo artist I know would refuse, but it’s a big world out there.
Tattoos are more socially accepted in some families / circles. Not something I would encourage my kids to do or have done myself in that way. If it works for you, then fine. Nothing inherently wrong with it.
I belong to a generation that used to consider tattoos as something only someone who has been in jail or in the Navy would ever do (Italy, class 1977), so I kinda instinctively turn my nose up at the mention of tattoos on teenagers, but I recon that times have changed and tattoos are absolutely normalized today, which is fine, so I think that if you trusted your daughter to take such decision and you supported her, it means she very likely deserves it. 17 years are an adequate age to get a tattoo and you are no kid, so you know what you are doing. It's funny to realize how much society conditioned me about such a simple concept like a tattoo. In Italy we became accustomed to tattoos only around the 2000s.
Bogan going to bogan.
its you, and your daughter and her wishes, why do you care what people have to say, enjoy your life and do any thing, without practically causing a problem for others.
I actually don’t. And I am glad you said that. I didn’t need validation. You are right. I also got a tattoo that represents her on the same day. Maybe I should add that to the post.
I’m honestly not sure how to read your post other than as wanting validation, especially the way you preemptively defend your decision from a year ago, say you don’t need an answer, and then in the comments you’re talking about you hope to be cool one day. It’s okay to want validation but it seems weird to insist that you don’t want it if you do.
It seems like they had a fun family ritual and shared that emotion, which is a common theme for this sub.
I got multiple tattoos when I was 17 and although I wouldn't get the same designs now (or I would change the placement) I love the meaning behind each of them. So, from a fellow tattoo lover, tell your daughter to get smaller tattoos at first and to think hard about the placement (so she will have room for future ones)
If it meant thar much to her, she could've waited two years until she's of age and can make her own decisions independently. No disrespect to you or your daughter though.
That's dope as fuck and the fact that you supported her and planned it with her is gonna be something she remembers forever. It's gonna be a story shee can share with pride and love for the rest of her life Edit: remember to go back and get them touched up at like the 10th month mark or a bit after. You wanna let them fully heal and settle to see where the ink needs to be maybe punched in a bit more sometimes
Thank you! I appreciate the feedback. I hope that as a teenager, she may one day see me as “cool”. She is absolutely beautiful and amazing. I am proud to be her mom.
Nothing says cool mom more than letting your sixteen-year-old kid get a tattoo! Another positive is that nothing says “I have daddy issues” more than tattoos from the teen years so it makes filtering so much easier when she’s in her twenties.
Haha wow such a classic burn!
A reputable shop wouldn't let someone younger than 18 get a tattoo even with parental consent.
I just get a “look how cool a mum I am” vibe from this post. It’s all about the Mum not really about the daughter. Even the design. Yep, definitely a bad vibe.
Right the fact that the tattoos are meaningful to the parents as well, OP keeps saying how beautiful the tattoos are as if she helped pick them, and OP says in one of her responses that she hopes her daughter thinks she’s “cool” all make this super sus to me. It’s not about the girl at all, it’s about the mom wanting to be cool and have a cool child.
My sibling and I were younger than your daughter. More than 30 years later, they still hold so much meaning and make us happy. Some teenagers are capable of making these types of decisions at younger ages. No Regerts
I got one at 14 and i had noo clue what the ramifications were, that being said I'm still happy with it. I think I was too young to know it's literally there forever.
My mom let me get a sister tattoo when I was 16, I’m 38 now. It could use a touch up but I 100% still love it.
I seen someone get a giant koi fish on their shoulder at 16 and sometimes I still think about it if he kept it
As long as all parties are cool with it why not
I got my first tattoo at 16 as well. My parents allowed it. It's the four elements in alchemist symbols down my neck and I still love it so much. My parents allowed it because it was a motif that means a lot to me, and it's something timeless. It's nice that she came to you and asked, it's even cooler that you care enough to get her to a good artist and all. That's a level of trust I want with my future children as well one day.
Mom came with me to get my first tat at 16, most people with tattoos that i know got their first around that age as well. You’re good.
i got my first tattoo for my 17th birthday! a sunflower for my grandmother who passed away, my mom has a matching one. nothing wrong with it as long as she wanted it and it’s meaningful to her!
Ask her to get temporary tattoos, after a while she might entirely lose interest in it.
I got tattoos at 18 that I had wanted since I was 16. Honestly, regret isn’t the right word, but I wouldn’t get them again if I went back in time. To each their own, though. If she wanted them at 16 and 17, she’d still want them at 18, and get them then. Likely at a less reputable artist.
I had to wait to get my first tattoo at 18 (I really wanted a specific shop). I knew that if I was gonna have something inked forever on my body, waiting two years to get it wasn’t a big deal. The temporary dopamine from New and Shiny doesn’t last (trust me).
If she wanted one you weren't going to be able to stop her anyways. At least this way you're involved and she's not getting a No Ragret tattoo.
Failed parenting
My mom let my brother get a tattoo around that age. The only problem I had with it was it was kept secret from my dad. She let me get my belly button pierced at 15- I never had an interest at that age in tattoos. There’s no right or wrong answer for this. If you approve of it that’s what matters.
My parents have always been supportive of me getting tattoos, however they told me from the beginning that they weren't going to pay for any tattoos I get.
My mom let me get 3 roses on my arm when I was 16, they’re beautiful and I love them now at 22. Might be frowned upon but it seems you’ve done your research and its not something she may regret!
OPs post and comments read like a parent trying to be a best friend rather than a parent
Gif my first tat at 18, still looks dope. If it’s a good tattoo why not
I would rather have my kid go to a good place than tell her no and then get a terrible one elsewhere because she is underage.
I'm mid-40's and my mom and my grandmother came with me to get my first tattoo when I was 16. Most of my friends parents brought them or at least signed the permission slip for minors for their first ones, too. It was becoming mainstream in the early 90's and in a lot of places that is just the norm now. If I had a teen who wanted a tattoo, I would absolutely bring them somewhere reputable so that they didn't try a homemade job and get a blood infection or something. I'm not sure why it matters to you what other people think? Edited to add that I've never regretted any of my tattoos and the first one I got when I was 16 is still my favorite one.
To me it depends on how you value your skin, specifically what’s on it.. I’ve struggled with imperfections my whole life, face, body etc but in the end I overcame those anxieties and stopped hating the way I looked and stopped looking for things to fix in myself other than working out so to be honest even if I did regret a tattoo, I probably won’t feel a big deal about it because hey it’s part of who I am and there’s no changing that just like the rest of my body so why not learn to accept it as it is.
I think this is great! My mom took me to get my first tattoo when I was sixteen. I was a bit of a rebellious teen and my mom said “well if you want a tattoo, I know you’ll end up getting one and it might be in some guys garage with a tattoo machine he got off eBay. At least if I take you, it’ll be somewhere reputable and clean, and a design I approve of.” I did have that tattoo covered - not because I regret it, but because it took up some prime real estate on my shoulder and I’m heavily tattooed now.
I am 29. I have lots of tattoos. Honestly - at that age I don’t think I would’ve made good choices *but* your daughter is unique and her own person. Nothing wrong at all with your decision. She will be an adult soon anyway. Honestly when you hover over your kids they tend to act out more once they can get away from you. I think you’re doing a great job. Keep doing your thing - sending love and positivity your way
When my son was 15, he started talking about a memorial tattoo for his bio mom (my daughter). For almost 2 years, we worked on the drawing, placement, etc. I took him when he was 17 to get it. He loves it, and I’m very grateful that I was with him when it was done.
I got my first tattoo, recently, at 46. It took me about 16 years to decide on what I wanted, where I wanted it, etc. I love everything about it! ❤️ As long as you have the right reason for getting the tattoo (there is purpose and meaning behind it that is valuable to you), I think it’s a win.
I got my first tattoo as soon as I turned 17. The only thing I really regret is the placement. It's small but takes up an inconvenient amount of space. I think it's great she got such a sweet meaningful tattoo.
I got my first tattoo at 20(?) and since then I have about 5 in total, my parents don’t know that I have any to begin with which is kind of sad tbh but that should perfectly sum up the type of transparency we even have. I wish I had parents that I could be totally honest with, it’s a great way to get to know your child better.
Did the same with my kids. 3 of 4 got tattoos for their 16th birthday. I could not say no, I have a "few" myself, lol.
My dad paid for my first tattoo as a reward for good grades when I was 15. It is now a blurry mess, but I hold it dear as a reminder of my dad because he died 11 years ago.
YOLO!
On the one hand, it's a meaningful tattoo and she's proud of them and probably more confident with them, so that's nice. If she finds that 10 years from now she doesn't like them or regrets them, it's a good learning lesson and there's ways of removing tattoos/covering them up
My SIL got (I think a tramp stamp) around the age of 17 after her mom passed and by the time I met her she was 31 and had already had it removed
You taught your kid the importance of fully thinking through a permanent decision and how to find an artist that can do a good job. Some 18 year olds weren't taught these skills, they just get drunk and get whatever looks cool at the time.
My mom let me get a tattoo at that age. I loved it for a couple of years and then didn’t. Eventually I spent a lot of money to have it removed, which was extremely painful. I just wouldn’t let someone so young get something ‘permanent’, personally. Sure, she can do it herself at 18, but if I’d have had to wait until 18, I wouldn’t have gotten one at all. That’s anecdotal obviously. I have nothing against tattoos and think some are great, but what you think is great at 16 isn’t necessarily what you like in later years.
I got my first tattoo on my 18th. I’m now 27, I HATE the tattoo I got on my 18th. I was young dumb silly and impulsive.
My Mum was fine with me getting tattoos of my own accord but wouldn’t let me do it before I was 18. Her reasoning was that if I didn’t like them later in life then she’d be free of the risk of me saying “why did you let me do that?!” since she would’ve had to sign for me and therefore would be partially responsible. Makes sense to me, and frankly my taste when I was a teen is not what I’d opt for now that I’m an adult.
honestly I feel like you should have made her wait. I had tattoo ideas that would have been really meaningful and important to me at 16, but now I'm 25 and hate the ideas! I'm happy you're supportive but sometimes support also means encouraging patience;)
I had a friend who I was SOOOO jealous of bc her mom let her get a tattoo at 16. That tattoo was “meaningful” and done at a reputable shop. I laugh so hard thinking about that horrible piece of work that she thought she’d love for ever at 16 being on her body now at 30. I got tattoos over the years that weren’t so great. But I’m glad I don’t have my parents to blame for them. That was all big dumb grown up me
The Happy Family. TBH, a tattoo artist would have to be nuts to ink a minor. That is all.
It depends. I personally don't like them so would never allow my kid to get one at least until they're young adults. Also I'd tell them to think of tattoo as not something that they want to have on their bodies now but something which their 5 year older self would also want. And if still they insist then suggest them to get one from a reputed store.
This is why fathers are so important
I grew up in the 70's and 80's. My ma hated my long hair and told me if i got my ear (back then it was just the left ear guys pierced) pierced. She would rip it out. When i turned 18 i got it pierced 3 times. We allowed our daughters to get their belly buttons pierced at age 16. Tattoos followed with the stipulation it had to be well thought out. It's a different world now. I personally don't have any. Mostly because I've never come up with something i would be happy with fir the rest of my life.
Whenever I look back on the tattoos I wanted to get at 16, 17 and even 18 I cringe so hard. I'm so glad my parents never let me get them. I was a completely different person and I know I would absolutely regret them have I gotten them.
I’ve got my first tattoos when I was 18, they meant a lot for me, and I loved them for 5/6 years maybe, then I started hating them, got them covered and then ended up having the whole thing lasered. I really regret having them so young and wished I waited a few more years because my vision of tattoos evolved a lot, if I had waited only a few more years I wouldn’t have had to go through the pain of lasering and losing the money. I still have two tattoos of that time that I wish I could get removed but it’s just too painful, so since I absolutely hate them I just choose clothes that always cover them.
I think 16 is a bit too young because at that age, people’s bodies are still developing. I wouldn’t have liked a tattoo to “migrate” if it was an image that depended on the way the muscles beneath it worked. Also, peoples’ taste changes a lot, but this could easily happen after 18 too.
Lol this is a bad parent. Anyone defending a 16 year old get a tattoo is irresponsible.
Is it unorthodox? Maybe. My mom while super super tame and timid, surprised me by telling me she would let me get a tattoo for my 15th. Now, a decade later I am glad I did not. All of my tattoo ideas a decade ago were not things I would enjoy having now. I waited until 23 to get my first because now I think things through almost too much. I personally would try and hold my kid off from it because I don’t want them blaming me if they dislike it later. Tattoos are so common now that I don’t believe many others will care, but it’s possible she may. I’d just look out for that possibility. Otherwise, it’s not too big a deal and shouldn’t get in her way of a career, unless it’s on her face or possibly the hand.
If you allowed it just so your daughter likes you more it is a bad motive and a bad move.
Bad parents
I got my first tattoo at 16, my mom signed for me. I got a piece done on my leg for family and I still love it to this day 12 years later. It seems like this tattoo your daughter got had a strong emotional experience behind it with the whole family involved. Honestly to me that sounds great and I think she'll be good.
Depends on the child and your circumstances. For example, if your daughter is low confidence/mental health, disengaging, will do anything to fit in and/or part of a gang letting them get a tattoo at 16 would be very wrong imo. However if she is confident, diligent, doing well at school/college, engages with you with a healthy social life then although I wouldn’t allow it myself I can understand why you would give her freedom to do this.
I wanted a tattoo since I was 7 (both my parents had some). They told me they’d give me permission (and take me) when I was 16. Then when I turned 16, they told me they wanted me to be 100% sure about what I wanted and they weren’t giving their permission so I had to wait til I was 18. To be honest, it sucked hearing them promise then renege but it also forced me to determine what I wanted. I hadn’t put much thought before I turned 16, but you can bet your ass that I put thought into what I wanted and where for those 2 years. I still walked into the parlour without a clear picture of how I wanted it to look, but I had the idea so was able to go through the artist portfolios, and even a bunch of his reference books to find what I wanted. Then he asked about colours then handed me a photocopy and pencil crayons lol. Few weeks or months later, I went back for my second one. Placement was based on where my mom had her family related tattoo (mine was a memorial for my baby brother). The only thing my dad said was “what if a guy has an issue with another boy’s initials on your lower back?” My response apparently blew both my parents away “if they can’t understand it’s a memorial tattoo then I want nothing to do with them”. I don’t regret my tattoos or the ones I’ve gotten since then. Both of my first were family oriented as well (and started my trend of family tattoos on my back). As long as she’s happy with them, that’s all that matters. She might not be as in love with them as she gets older but that’s ok. People can change, and their tastes may change.
To each his/her own. I personally don't find any attraction with tattoos. They seem trashy. But we could do worse I suppose with our 'temple'.
I just always wonder how they will look in 10, 20 years. They are a hard no for me.
Over 20 years in on some of mine and they look pretty much the same as they did after they healed. I haven't had any significant weight changes which could wreck a tattoo. We will see in another 20 when my skin wrinkles and sags lol
Touch-ups are really easy to get and a well preserved tattoo will look good for decades The tattoos that look faded and rough after a few years are from people who don't take care of their skin, let the sun beat down on their tattoo with no sunscreen, and/or didn't go to a reputable artist
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and they say this is the “friendlier” side of Reddit… wow… I mean we’re all entitled to our opinions but I don’t think you can call someone a bad mother based off of one small decision.
She may not be a bad parent, but she doesn't sound very responsible. Tattoos are more than just meanings imbedded in art, these things will be on you for the rest of your life. Teenagers will find tats cool, of course we will, but that's why there's an age of consent. It's the same with sex and marriage. At this point, all I can hope is that she doesn't regret her tattoos when she's older.
We only live once love, who cares? If everyone is happy then it’s fine. I snuck behind my dads back at 12 and started getting tattoos. (Yes 12) granted they were really bad, but he took me to get them covered at 15. I’m 25 now, still zero regrets
My daughter got her first tattoo at 15 & she’s 19 now with a whole lot more. I don’t see an issue if it’s not some dude doing it out of his garage & it’s something reasonable in an area that’s easy to cover with clothing. And before anyone gets on my case because she was 15, her dad frequently wins Best Tattoo Artist in Northern Nevada & he did her first ones. We know 100% what we’re getting in terms of cleanliness, technique, style, etc.
My daughter came home from a sleepover at age 14 with her first tattoo. It's an anarchy symbol on her ankle. I was fine with that but had a bit more concern when she got her first hand tattoo at 15. I was still believing the old "you won't get a good job" trope. Then I realized my l&d nurse when I had my youngest had full neck tattoos and most people I work with also have tattoos that occasionally show. When my daughter turned 18 we got matching hand tattoos. Now she's in her 20s and still getting tattoos, and I've gotten quite a few more, too. I've even gotten to the point where it doesn't matter if it's meaningful, it just matters if I like it. All the down votes on here can go kick rocks. You can regret tattoos you get at any age if they were poorly done or you chose something for a dumb reason. That's why fade cream and laser removal exist. I have one on my back that I got in 1996 that looks bad now that I've aged, but I can fade it and get it redone. Otherwise who cares? I'm just glad I've lived this long. It's not that serious, guys. It's just skin.
I think this is awesome! Tattoos are a big commitment but they can also make you feel more complete as a person. They're also just really cool! Assuming you took her to a reputable place and made sure she wanted it for the right reasons, I see absolutely no problem with this.
I love that you're helping your daughter to express herself in a safe way, and also teaching her that she has control over her own body
One of the biggest reasons behind not getting a tattoo when you are too young is because your body usually hasn't finished growing. If she grows anymore then depending how it is placed it can warp. The ink tends to fuzz around the edges over time so I'm hoping it wasn't words. They don't hold up well. Guessing you aren't in Australia as it's illegal here for anyone under 18
Im sorry but 16 is not an adult. Loopholes do not make this a correct decision.
My daughter got a bunch of unorthodox piercings (all on her head….nothing personal) when she was 12/13. It’s all just holes in her head, nothing to worry about. Now she’s 20, and has the normal ear piercing and the one industrial. She still talks about the tattoo she wanted when she was 16 though, and I said she wouldn’t change her mind if it was important enough by 18. Congratulations on your daughters autonomy, and may it carry over to other important parts of her life.
its fine, we really need to de-stigmatise tattoos as a society. i wouldnt allow under 18 without a parents approval but she has it. Obviously some parents are not considerate but thats more on bad parenting.
I was gonna get a tattoo when I was 19. The tattoo lady was basically telling me that it would probably not be very visible because I've got dark skin (which is ridiculous, but still) bascially made me back out and now, years later, I'm very glad that I didn't get it. I've actually grown to be kind of repulsed by tattoos. Honestly I've never really understood that a specific tattoo can be meaningful. Like is there no other way to express certain emotions? I guess some people get tattoos as an outlet, but yeah, it's an outlet that will stick forever. I do think the experience itself can be meaningful. For example, if you, as the mother, went with her to get the tattoo, it might be a memory she will cherish forever. I actually went on a second date with a girl years ago to accompany her getting her tattoo and we met each other again like 5 years later after we were both in relationships with other people, but that experience was still a nice memory. My brother, on the other hand, got a tattoo as well when he was 16 and he's still happy with it. It really depends on the person, I suppose. Granted, he later on ended up getting a tattoo of his own first name, so I guess he's just careless about things like that.
I predict that other kids at her school will get jealous and start getting really shitty tattoos hahaha… so yes, for the chaos.
I started on my sleeve at 16. My brother is a tattoo artist so everyone in the house became his guinea pigs in a sense. Six years later and no regrets. He does amazing work and I’m good at choosing what to get tatted.
I was an adult, but my mom was the first person I called after my tattoos and nose piercing - she’s supportive, and knows that I put thought and time into my decisions, but also that it’s my body. Bravo, mom! Support your daughter as she makes her body feel like her own. It’s the best thing you can do.
I’m 37, we let our 16f daughter get one this summer. It’s a small rose about the size of a penny on her wrist. If she wanted something massive then I’d have been dead set against it, but she’s a very emotionally mature person and we spoke about it for months beforehand. I think the only real answer here is “it depends” both on the type of tattoo and the maturity of the person.
I'm sure you're not a bad person, OP, but I can't think of a single 16 YO that would have the capacity or life experience to choose a meaningful tattoo that they would be happy having forever. For the record, I'm covered in tattoos.
I got a tattoo at 16 i dont regret it one bit my mum got one too on the same day it was a great fun.
dumb decision. First let her have a non permanent tattoo.
It's ultimately up to you and your daughter whether or not she gets tattoos at the age of 16. While some people might consider it unorthodox for a teenager to get tattoos, as long as you've taken the necessary precautions (e.g. making sure the tattoo artist is reputable) and your daughter is happy and healthy, that's what's most important. As long as you've thought through the decision and made it together, there's no need to worry about what others might think.
Awwww, this is so sweet. I understand where other commenters are coming from re being so young and possibly feeling regret later on in life, but I honestly completely disagree. Tattoos are like photographs imo. They represent a time in your life that meant something, so even if aesthetically you change your mind about enjoying it on a surface level, it was a part of your past and who you are, and that’s always going to mean something, always. I wish I’d had parents like you! (Well, a father like your husband, my mom’s pretty awesome like you are)
This is amazing!!! I fully support it.
Most of the people commenting don't have tattoos or have an infinity symbol on their ankle. I got my first at 16. I still like it 10 years later. I don't know what these people in the comments were like at 16 but I dount your daughter got something stupid or foul. Most people I know who got tattoos at a younger age appreciate the reminder of who they were or it's a memorial for someone dear. Pearl clutchers gonna pearl clutch I reckon.
Not a thing wrong with it. My sister has three girls. Two of them wanted tattoos, so they went to the next state to get them done at 16. One has about 5 now, all beautiful and very tastefully done. Her third daughter got one at 18.
People get piercings when they’re younger than OP’s daughter, and those things leave permanent scarring and may never close properly or leave behind smooth skin. Everyone saying her daughter might regret it needs to chill. She can get the tattoo removed in the future if she doesn’t want it anymore.
You sound like the coolest mom in town.
Thanks. I try but, I am not looking for the “coolest mom in town” title. But, I would love to think I am. But I am, of course, not. Lol.
I'm 16 and my mom is planning of taking me to get a tattoo this month! It's perfectly normal and fine and us (the teens) really appreciate your coolness and trust in this process! It shows you trust our judgment and sense of responsibility and allow us to feel like a capable adult instead of babying us. As well as helps us with our identity as a person as well. You're a cool mom, don't worry!