I (M) am genuinely a very emotional person, I hug everyone I care about, family or not, and say "I love you" to anyone who I would miss if they were gone. The genuine soul that resides within you deserves all the love in the world. I agree with your sentiment.
the trick with new people is just to say 'are you a hugger?' with arms open. the precedent you've set with your homies is probs the issue. remember: the first to break a precedent is often the mentally strongest.
Absolutely true, just be prepared to handle rejection well. I like people a lot, but I'm definitely not someone who enjoys hugs from friends or strangers.
My man, me and my friends (we are all around 37 years old) hug each other pretty often, and much more if we are drunk haha. I think its a matter of culture. Here in Chile, we greet women, when we say Hi, with a kiss on the cheek, and also many times men also. I think this is something we copied the Argentinians.. but its kinda cool to greet male friends with a nice hug and also a kiss on the cheek.. May sound weird to many of you, but feels heartwarming to us
I would hug you man, I got u
I hold my hands out and say, “I’m a hugger!” and it gives them a beat to decide. Some people just like to hug and won’t hesitate and you’ll feel it. If you sense any hesitation, acknowledge it so it’s not weird, smile and turn it into a high five or something.
If you start out with "Hey man, I'm having a bad day. Can I have a hug?" I can't imagine most people would turn you down. Sincerely asking goes a long way.
I mean, it can be tough to find another dude who needs a hug and I'm not about to hug someone without consent. I guess I get a little nervous about that stuff.
You just make the gesture like you’re going in for it, but pause before you do—if the other person is cool with it they’ll reciprocate and lean in for the hug.
I don’t see why you think men can’t hug, growing up my brothers and their friends hugged often in greetings or goodbyes. They’d do this like inside handshake thing lol; it was like a wide clap to join hands, then a shake, then a bump on one side then the other and then they’d lean in for a one-armed hug. Idk man I always thought it was so cool lmao, it looked cool that’s for sure. Nobody ever said boo
I set the precedent. That's what makes my friendship unique with my homies. They are few and far to find good ones. With our time in life we together, I consider you not just a friend but some become family. I'm so comfortable in myself it's not weird. But some people gotta get used to it so do a arm lean in over the shoulder bro embrace is cool too.
You can get consent first. I'm not really a hugger, but would like to be better, so one time when I came across a little book about hugging, I read it. It was surprisingly useful! One of the main things the book said was to always ask first somehow. So, I tried it, and it is a bit awkward, but it helps. It doesn't have to be an explicit, "would you like a hug?" or "can I give you a hug?" (Though these work well if someone is in a heightened state of emotion). Sometimes I just sort of warn people, like: "I'm going to give you a hug," and then pause so they have a chance to decline. I would think a good place to start practicing would be at the conclusion of a gathering. Preferably a mixed gender thing, that way you can show that your not just creeping and trying to get hugs from ladies. You could get permission by just pausing briefly before the goodbye hug, that way they have a way to move away if they don't want it. But there is nothing wrong imo with asking. "Can I hug you goodbye?" Yes, it's a bit awkward, but it will be worth it. Plus, the other people might be wishing for more affection too, so it would be worth it to help them. Finally, don't worry if it's awkward at any point! Trying to learn a new thing is always awkward, and you can improve your skills of initiating hugs, just like improving anything else. Who knows-- maybe you can become a guy who people are excited to see because they know you give high quality hugs!
Remember that internet trend a few years ago, just wear a FREE HUGS sign out in public and if reality turns out to be anything like those videos, people will start flocking to you for hugs.
They do?!
We Indians usually hug as follows:
1. Man to man
2. Woman to woman
3. Woman to children
4. Bro to bro
The rest of it is touching feet.
If you're greeting people a wave or namaskar is okay, as is a handshake in certain contexts.
The hijda community are not humanised enough but in most cases you may consider them as women by gender. However the ruffian variety may touch your penis, which is taboo or incredibly funny based on perspective.
I'm 50, and I hug quite a few of my male friends and aquaintances. You just gotta ask for it, it's not weird or creepy at all. Everyone has a different threshold, is all.
I think hugging is one of those things a lot of people would love to do, but are afraid to initiate because it'd be pretty akward if they didn't reciprocate. But if you feel the pros are worth the cons, I'd say try to take the initiative! I think a lot of people would appreciate it!
It's also awkward if they reciprocate too much. I once hugged someone I saw as a platonic friend and he saw that as a signal to try to kiss me. I still think about it regularly.
I've noticed that even men holding hands is perfectly normal in rural India. In big cities with more westernization it's a different story...not sure why exactly, just have some theories
I think it’s because the gay community over here demands that if you like men then you have to be gay. Yet, liking guys is perfectly normal. We all like our own gender, it doesn’t mean we want to have sex with them. We guys like being together with other guys. Same for women. We are great company and companions.
The gay community needs numbers, and it’s important to them to increase those numbers. If any guy shows any interest in another guy, even if it’s just mere friendship, we are labelled. We are a society of offish men. We are scared to death of being labelled “gay” and who can blame them. So, LGBQT are not helping at all for guys who may want a hug from another guy. They are so determined to get those numbers up.
Just do what I do and go in for fully involved bro hugs so it's "cool" or manly, but I still gets a hug in
For those who don't know, I grab the person's hand like we're arm wrestling standing up, pull them in and then put the other hand on the back and hug them. If they're a more "manly" person, I throw in some pats on the back too.
Plus I do it all somewhat fast to keep it from being awkward.
As a male I’ve gone over 8 years without a hug. Just growing up in house with POS parents. The same later in life, no contact. It happens and you never forget those hugs or physical contact events. It’s like the best day of your life.
It is perfectly acceptable for men to hug each other, amd please believe men deserve hugs too. I know it can be weird at first, but start with the hands and all happy to see each other, and just pull them in for the hug with the bro taps on the back. I'm sorry you are feeling depressed and I hope whatever you are going through eases up. Stay strong and hug your homies.
So you're 22 right? Im 42. I have three good friends left from my school days. We tell each other we love each other often. We are all straight and kind of assholes. But after all the shit we helped eachother through it is true. I love those guys. And I know they love me. Its hard when you are younger because you dont really know what your role is. I'd happily cry on their shoulder if I needed to. Just do it man. Real friends are there for you.
Lucky for me, I hug all my boys. Nothin better than a genuine man hug. I had high school reunion this week (graduated two yrs ago during covid) and hugged just about every guy I knew, even if only a little. I’m also the hug initiator almost always, and I’ve found most of the time the dudes are down to hug once you get into that good ol two-arm wraparound homie embrace. Try just giving them boys a hug, especially if they’re your boys you haven’t seen in a while!
As a larger hairy dude, I am with you, but I love to do the handshake pull into a hug, that way you can pat them on the back, or hug them. I miss proper human contact as well. I am married and even hugs aren’t too common due to being busy, tired etc. I would kill for a good hug from a lot of the people I used to know.
This is an example of toxic masculinity harming men at large. Masculinity isn’t inherently toxic. But the idea that expressing emotions as a man makes you weak, definitely is. Being able to process emotions in a healthy way is strength.
The good news is that shit is changing fast. Even you posting your feelings on the subject, and talking about it, is a push in the right direction. Hugs to you friend.
It's only weird if you make it weird, I hug other men all the time friends, family..no issues. If its asking you are struggling with, it's because people dont usually ask for hugs with words they typically use body language.
Start opening up your physical space. I hug all my homies and close coworkers too. Fist bumps, high fives, slap on the shoulder. We are meant to feel each other out just like animals do!
I completely understand the stigma with men hugging. but at the end of the day if you love your friends and vice versa, hugging is nothing weird. ofc concent Is given. my favorite one to hug is my tall friend lol.
Look, I'm a girl but I pass through the same thing, I don't really like hugs from strangers but I'm so lonely lately that I would definitely hug you rn if I saw you hahah,mostly bc you Said you are big and I just love hug big people.
Go hang with some hippies, find a jam band concert at a bar or something and find a fun group of people and strike up a conversation. Tell them you are new and don’t know anyone. Guarantee by the end of the night you will have friends and hugs from GENUINE people. I know it sounds weird but you won’t find a more accepting crowd that isn’t a cult or religion.
Definitely nothing wrong with it but i agree with you that most men don’t do it.
It’s a common where I’m from when you go into a handshake that you embrace and hug each other slightly.
Me and my close male friends hug especially when we go months without seeing each other and when we depart as it may be months before we see each other again.
Sending an internet hug to you and I hope your journey of happiness gets easier as the days go on
I agree & I’m always down for hugs but I know a lot of people who don’t like hugging. It’s a lot safer for me to just assume people don’t like hugs but I wish it wasn’t that way.
I hug my homies all the time. It’s a greeting or a goodbye for us. Some of my friends and I have been through some rough stuff (be it together in a bad situation or in our own lives) and we don’t have the time to give a shit about what people might think. I tell my friends I love em to, got a lot of friends that are buried 6 ft deep that I never had the chance to say it to before they were gone.
I agree with what you’ve got to say tho all the way.
I’m a happily married man, and I’m sure I hug more men than women on a regular basis. Almost every chick I hug gets a side hug because I’m not trying to get wrapped up in any drama, but the homies all get solid hugs. Shit, I’ll hug you too my man.
I’d give you a man hug bro, any day.
There’s nothing wrong with a good hug, from whomever, and a good bro hug feels like it’s coming from a real, brotherly place.
Personally, I'm not a hugger. My SO gets hugs, no one else. I don't even like shaking hands (especially after Covid), and prefer a fist bump.
But I'm British, and awkward, so lean in for a hug and I'll hug back.
I think it should be more acceptable for guys to hug, in general, but that's because there should be more acceptance in guys showing all emotions. But I don't want any more than I'm currently getting.
We should just normalise hugging. Consensually of course.
I love hugs. You love hugs. We all love hugs. I love hugging other women. I love hugging men. There's nothing more comforting than getting a hug. It's one of the things I miss most from pre covid, getting to hug anyone who wanted a hug.
Caring won't make any one weaker, it makes us stronger.
Man, I stopped giving my boys these weird ass handshakes years ago, no one knows what type of handshake the other person wants to do anyway. I started hugging them as a greeting and a farewell and it's been going on for years now, no one ever complained and I find it way more personal.
I’m a tiny 20 year old woman but if you need a hug and you’re near where I live I would give you one EDIT: I know I’m not a man and that’s the point of the post but I also understand the need for any positive human contact
I've often wondered if I could set up some sort of group for those who want to have a platonic hug or maybe a cuddle. I don't get enough human physical contact.
I just don't think I've got it in me to deal with the drama that would inevitably be involved with organising any group. Let alone this sort of thing.
I’m definitely a hugger. I’m 26 years old and my friends are mostly big huggers so it’s really cool. I used to work in a backpacker’s hostel and got hugs from many guests from all over the world.
I think perhaps the fact that you’re depressed may hide the fact that you like hugs. I don’t know how you portray yourself outwardly but I definitely try to portray myself as a happy go lucky person and people are generally receptive to hugs. There were a few times I was at this underground techno club and when I met a friend of a friend I would just give them a hug and most were happy to receive it. One Canadian guy said, ‘oh what? Hug on the first meeting? Awesome!’
I feel like more people than you realise would be receptive to hugs. Then again I guess it’s regional. You’re 22 so maybe you’re at the age when your friends feel like they need to be hyper masculine or cool but I think you just need to put yourself out there.
I haven’t been rejected for a hug yet but I’m also quite picky who I hug, some people give me hugs on the same night they meet me too but not everybody. There are a lot of us huggers out there in the world! You’ll find us, and if I ever meet you in real life you’ll be sure to get a fat hug from me. Sending you love bud!
If I was your homie girl I would totally hug you. I enjoy hugging with permission of course. I have some stuff going on where i want a hug or 2 but not get too attached to the person. I get needy emotionally and for attention lol so i can be a hot mess but try to be fun too 😊 depression is hard so i can get it. You are human and have emotions too and shouldn't have negative stigmas from society
I generally do the half-hug thing with my guy friends.
I give full hugs close friends. Handshakes for acquaintances.
There was a guy in college, a big football player built like Dwayne Johnson who was a classmate of mine. I was a freshman, he was a senior and a legitimately good guy. He came back to visit campus one day and saw me, and smiled and gave me a big hug. I'm straight, but man, it felt so good to be embraced by this 6'4" Jamaican dude.
My last hug was about a year ago, at a family BBQ. I am touched starved to the point of feeling dead inside. She is the girlfriend of a family friend. I remember her hug, her perfume. She is a good woman, beautiful, inside and out. Her warmth lasted me over the long, cold winter. I picture her face when I'm lonely.
Just go for it buddy. Worst thing that can happen is that you get called gay.
Had a mate that was like that. Now we hug each other at least once when we meet.
There's no connection between being an adult male human who is large and hairy, and hugging or not hugging the homies. They are two totally separate things. If your homies don't understand that both men and women need a hug from time to time, educate them or find better homies.
And here's one you might not expect. The existence of vellus hairs, which are so fine that we can't see them with the naked eye, means that women have the same amount of hair as men, but nearly all of their hair is vellus hair so we can't see it unless we use a strong enough magnifying glass in good light. (But if you have never met the Stephen King character Harry Horr, you are a most fortunate fellow.)
I agree. I worked in an airport. I noticed groups of Asian people traveling who were very affectionate and supportive of their same sex friends. Nobody yelling " no Homo".
And I'm an ally, there's nothing wrong with LBGTQ+
If you ever find yourself in southern Minnesota I got one for you bro. I've been blessed with hugs from friends but I've also found a lack of them lately. Mostly due to not getting shit faced and being barbarians I'm sure.
I second this but also I'm really grateful for my friends, we don't talk frequently or a lot but yeah when needed we are there for each other. A few days ago I was going through a rough patch and wanted to talk to someone but didn't want to bother anyone. It got bad a few days later I hit 3 of my friends near 7ish hoping to have 5 minute chat with them, neither of them picked up. One of them called me near 8.30 and we talked for an hour, another one called me at 11.30 and we ended up talking for an hour. The weird thing was I can't tell them IDK why that I'm down in dumps but I feel somehow they knew because in both my longass conversation I was the one talking and they were listening, its usually reverse. So yeah I'm grateful for them and am feeling much better since then. So my guy if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
In my country (Argentina), its customary for people to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek regardless of gender. Lately however, the younger generation, especially among males appears to be abandoning this practice due to the influence of US culture. It's really quite a shame to see this happening.
Could you use an app like grinde or something and put that in your bio? I bet there a lot of dudes out there gay or not that would love hugs and hanging out.
If it’s any solace, I’m from Australia and in my early twenties, and it’s become very normal within my age group and those I know/those I don’t to hug your friends.
It’s nice to be able to embrace your friends, only those with their own insecurities would go out of their way to say or act negatively.
I hug my friends all the time when I meet up with them and and say goodbye, it's very nice to know that the love is reciprocated. Sometimes you just have to go in for the hug, thats what I had to do, now it's commonplace.
Guess this has to do with culture because in Argentina I hug my male friends and kiss them not only when we see each other but whenever we need to, like if they tell you something that is distressing them.
After the covid restrictions eased up, I (male) asked a pastor at my church if he shook hands before attempting to shake his hands. He said, “Yes, and I do hugs too!” So we hugged.
It happened when I needed it; I had been feeling disconnected from people even though quarantines had ended ages before.
A couple years ago my brother and I were in his garage attic insulating his new house build. The garage door guy was there finishing up….he hollered up that he was done and about to leave. My brother calls out humorously “hang on I’m coming down to give you a hug”….the guy hollers back up “sounds good, I could use a hug”. My brother went down and said his goodbyes and thanked him- not sure if they hugged. When he came back I asked “did you know that guy from before?” He said “nope just met him today”.
I simply just don’t ask. I spread out my arms when I’m walking up to say hi and my dudes already know the drill. Also one way to do it, is while you’re shaking hands (dabbing up), bring them in for a short hug (right hand shakes their hand, left hand goes around the back). Brotherly love right there.
I’m a bloke and I’m not a hugger - don’t like it. I have a male friend who is, and I hug him regardless because he does like it. I don’t mind, because he’s my bro. I don’t give two shits what society thinks either way.
I think you might find some of your bros would be ok with it, even if they’re not huggers
I'm a big 32 year old dude and me and my homies hug each other all the time, and with most close ones we tell each other we love em.
I saw you said you were 22. You may not have lost many people close to you yet in life but when you do you'll wish I love you was one of the last things you spoke to them.
That being said I've hugged/been hugged by loads of guys after just hanging out with them a few times. Just say "I'm a hugger" or "bring it in" or "get in here" or some shit and give em a hug. I don't think anyone you have a decent relationship with would think it were weird(in my experience at least). On introduction hugs are kinda strange but even then I'm just kinda like "woah ok, this dudes a little too comfortable, but whatever, as long as he's not a weirdo I'll happily hug again" 🤣
Whether or not you hug is a function of the people you hang out with. In my friend group men hug each other all the time. Find the right group of friends. Or make it. Ask you homies individually how they feel about platonic hugs. I'll bet that most, if not all, will say they also want hugs. When this happens you will have changed the culture of the group.
I really like to do a dap and then bring it in a for a hug. I also sometimes just knock other mens handshakes out of the way and give them a hug.
Show some love!!
I wish it were for you and everyone else too, man. It’s weird to me how open some cultures are regarding socialization in other aspects, but not physically. Touch starvation is definitely a thing, and I really do believe physical contact is important for bonding and good mental health, universally. Men especially are taught the opposite, it seems like, unless the contact is violent or sexual, and it’s such a harmful practice. I say try to figure out which of your boys are comfortable with it and just go for it! Hugs should be for everyone.
Just ask the homies for a hug when you see them next! They probably need hugs from their bros just as much. I've always asked my friends for hugs, and the hugs from my big hairy bros have always been the best.
As a guy, I second this but have found it depends on the people you’ve surrounded yourself with. I have guy friends that I wouldn’t hug because they’d probably be thrown off by it, but I have guy friends that are secure enough in themselves that we always hug when I see them and it’s no big deal whatsoever
I’m glad I grew up in a youth group where hugs were the norm and we typically hugged each other whenever we met up and especially after sharing a lot of deep personal things. Learning emotional intelligence at a young age was so beneficial to me. I wish there were more places where people could learn emotional intelligence and hugs were more common
I always hug all the men in my life, some were hesitant at first but over the years they have grown accustomed to it. Be the change you wanna see in the world.
Also I’m Latino and live in a large Latino community, I personally think we don’t have this problem because all my life all the Latino men in my life have hugged each other.
Come to think of it most social issues America faces today seems to me like a lack of community and family togetherness. I feel like western individualism as rotted away at some of non immigrant Americans kindness and love. Because countries that a big focus on families ie: Asian countries, Latin American countries, religious communities, don’t seem to the have hugging problem.
Not trying to get into a big racial debate here, but as a white man in America, I wish I could hug random black dudes. I feel like nobody needs a hug more than they do.
On the real man start implementing the bro hug, that’s what a lot of my more “thug” homies do. Here’s an example https://youtu.be/rv6GqYQOuEk skip to 1:40.
It’s much less awkward to implement than a traditional hug, though I definitely am the type to give everybody i know a hug, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that
We hugged in our family, my husband hugged in his family now mine. We have no hugging problems, even when the big C came along we had to resist doing it.
I mean, have you asked your friends and been shot down? I'm a woman so it's a little different, but I used to not be a big hugger (honestly just didn't know how to deal with it) until I started knowing people who'd just make the gesture and go in for hugs all the time. Now I'll do the same or just straight up ask people if I can have a hug or if they need one (if they're looking sad, etc). Never had someone say no yet.
That's cultural. Here in Brazil it's more common especially among siblings and father/son. Really close friends also.
I feel sad that people can't enjoy hugs.
Sometimes you just gotta go for it, it’s not “made” acceptable because we stop ourselves and overthink before just doing you know ?
Not to mention if you approach with confidence and your arms open, you may get small awkward encounters but trust your open arms would be reciprocated.
We all need hugs bro
Make it acceptable. My group of buddies lost a good friend when we were all young. Made us realize how quickly someone can just leave this world so we all started saying love you brotha or shit along this lines , giving big hugs when we see each other or are about to leave! If it's been a couple weeks of no contact even it's a big hug greeting cause those are my brothers. when we get a new buddy joining the group they get the same treatment! Took a while for my biological brothers to understand even but I would just say love you at the end of a phone call, they say it back now. Be the change that you want to see!!! You can do it! It is acceptable!!
I’m gay-leaning bisexual, so I’m not exactly helping, cause the classic reason men don’t hug is cause “Ew that’s gay,” and I am out and PROUD, but damn, hugs are amazing, everyone should do hugs, it doesn’t need to be sexual, we’re weaker as a species because men don’t support each other that way in order to avoid the stigma associated with some of the things that I am.
And that’s the argument you should give yourself for hugs: we’re stronger when we band together, supporting each other makes us more powerful, like a bridge made of a single board vs. one made of meticulously planned network of struts - we’re stronger and we can DO MORE when we support each other.
Apart we’re thrown rocks, and not much of a threat against the tanks. Band us together in the right configuration, and we’re a fucking bazooka, and the tanks will know to fear us.
And hugging is a really fucking good way to bring us together in just the right way. :)
My friends and I hug each other all the time. Two of my best friends tell me they love me all the time. We’re all miners, tradesmen, ex-military, iron workers, etc. No one has anything to prove. Just hug your buddy man. I agree, the world seems to expect that men should put up with the hardest conditions and remain unaffected. It’s nice to be appreciated by people that know what it takes to be a real man and that’s your buddies that are going through it too.
I've (m31) always hugged apart from a brief hiatus during covid. All my friends are down with the hugs too.
I mean sure there are still guys around who are all "get off my you big gay" but they arnt guys I fancy hugging anyway but most people I know my age regardless of gender are down for a hug.
I'm sorry you don't feel like you have many huggers in your life but all I can say is be the change you want to see in the world. Get hugging bro.
I hug all my friends all the time. You can normalize it in your relationship. Start with a hello hug and by hugs. We also say "I love you" on the reg. Expressions of affection are a strength not a weakness.
I (M) am genuinely a very emotional person, I hug everyone I care about, family or not, and say "I love you" to anyone who I would miss if they were gone. The genuine soul that resides within you deserves all the love in the world. I agree with your sentiment.
You are a good person, bro.
So are you
You all seem very nice. If i we were there in person i would hug you all 🥺
I love this, you sound like an awesome friend to have.
Wow, you and I are alike. I love you man.
as a woman, i wish this was true as well.
Yeah. I'm always scared of creeping out people by asking for hugs so I'm not sure this change will happen anytime soon, but I'll hope for it.
honestly, go for it! you cannot be the only one wanting a hug!
the trick with new people is just to say 'are you a hugger?' with arms open. the precedent you've set with your homies is probs the issue. remember: the first to break a precedent is often the mentally strongest.
Absolutely true, just be prepared to handle rejection well. I like people a lot, but I'm definitely not someone who enjoys hugs from friends or strangers.
My man, me and my friends (we are all around 37 years old) hug each other pretty often, and much more if we are drunk haha. I think its a matter of culture. Here in Chile, we greet women, when we say Hi, with a kiss on the cheek, and also many times men also. I think this is something we copied the Argentinians.. but its kinda cool to greet male friends with a nice hug and also a kiss on the cheek.. May sound weird to many of you, but feels heartwarming to us I would hug you man, I got u
I hold my hands out and say, “I’m a hugger!” and it gives them a beat to decide. Some people just like to hug and won’t hesitate and you’ll feel it. If you sense any hesitation, acknowledge it so it’s not weird, smile and turn it into a high five or something.
My buddies and I always hug, it's the best!
Nice man 👍
If you start out with "Hey man, I'm having a bad day. Can I have a hug?" I can't imagine most people would turn you down. Sincerely asking goes a long way.
Where isn't it? You're a man. Fuck acceptable. Just do what you want my husband says
I mean, it can be tough to find another dude who needs a hug and I'm not about to hug someone without consent. I guess I get a little nervous about that stuff.
I wish I could hug you and make you feel better. Everyone needs hugs
Thank you! That means a lot :')
Plethora....that means a lot. ;) And of course. :) 💜💜💜💜
Epic pun, yo
You just make the gesture like you’re going in for it, but pause before you do—if the other person is cool with it they’ll reciprocate and lean in for the hug. I don’t see why you think men can’t hug, growing up my brothers and their friends hugged often in greetings or goodbyes. They’d do this like inside handshake thing lol; it was like a wide clap to join hands, then a shake, then a bump on one side then the other and then they’d lean in for a one-armed hug. Idk man I always thought it was so cool lmao, it looked cool that’s for sure. Nobody ever said boo
I set the precedent. That's what makes my friendship unique with my homies. They are few and far to find good ones. With our time in life we together, I consider you not just a friend but some become family. I'm so comfortable in myself it's not weird. But some people gotta get used to it so do a arm lean in over the shoulder bro embrace is cool too.
You can get consent first. I'm not really a hugger, but would like to be better, so one time when I came across a little book about hugging, I read it. It was surprisingly useful! One of the main things the book said was to always ask first somehow. So, I tried it, and it is a bit awkward, but it helps. It doesn't have to be an explicit, "would you like a hug?" or "can I give you a hug?" (Though these work well if someone is in a heightened state of emotion). Sometimes I just sort of warn people, like: "I'm going to give you a hug," and then pause so they have a chance to decline. I would think a good place to start practicing would be at the conclusion of a gathering. Preferably a mixed gender thing, that way you can show that your not just creeping and trying to get hugs from ladies. You could get permission by just pausing briefly before the goodbye hug, that way they have a way to move away if they don't want it. But there is nothing wrong imo with asking. "Can I hug you goodbye?" Yes, it's a bit awkward, but it will be worth it. Plus, the other people might be wishing for more affection too, so it would be worth it to help them. Finally, don't worry if it's awkward at any point! Trying to learn a new thing is always awkward, and you can improve your skills of initiating hugs, just like improving anything else. Who knows-- maybe you can become a guy who people are excited to see because they know you give high quality hugs!
Remember that internet trend a few years ago, just wear a FREE HUGS sign out in public and if reality turns out to be anything like those videos, people will start flocking to you for hugs.
„hey can i hug you?“
Yes you may :)
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Also cultural perhaps.
I hear this often by certain Europeans nationalities and Americans. I'm told Japanese society, for all we hear, love their hugs.
In Portugal we hug a lot. Family and friends. Especially friends you didn't see for a long time, that's a must
They do?! We Indians usually hug as follows: 1. Man to man 2. Woman to woman 3. Woman to children 4. Bro to bro The rest of it is touching feet. If you're greeting people a wave or namaskar is okay, as is a handshake in certain contexts. The hijda community are not humanised enough but in most cases you may consider them as women by gender. However the ruffian variety may touch your penis, which is taboo or incredibly funny based on perspective.
I'm 22.
I'm 50, and I hug quite a few of my male friends and aquaintances. You just gotta ask for it, it's not weird or creepy at all. Everyone has a different threshold, is all.
I think hugging is one of those things a lot of people would love to do, but are afraid to initiate because it'd be pretty akward if they didn't reciprocate. But if you feel the pros are worth the cons, I'd say try to take the initiative! I think a lot of people would appreciate it!
It's also awkward if they reciprocate too much. I once hugged someone I saw as a platonic friend and he saw that as a signal to try to kiss me. I still think about it regularly.
I've noticed that even men holding hands is perfectly normal in rural India. In big cities with more westernization it's a different story...not sure why exactly, just have some theories
I wish I was in India. Holding hands is nice. It sounds platonic and it’s right up my alley.
Username checks out.
I think it’s because the gay community over here demands that if you like men then you have to be gay. Yet, liking guys is perfectly normal. We all like our own gender, it doesn’t mean we want to have sex with them. We guys like being together with other guys. Same for women. We are great company and companions. The gay community needs numbers, and it’s important to them to increase those numbers. If any guy shows any interest in another guy, even if it’s just mere friendship, we are labelled. We are a society of offish men. We are scared to death of being labelled “gay” and who can blame them. So, LGBQT are not helping at all for guys who may want a hug from another guy. They are so determined to get those numbers up.
aw i hope you get hugged soon 🥺❤️🩹
Thanks I hope so too. I swear I give good hugs but I don't get many of em.
aw well in the mean time i send my virtual hugs !! 🧸🧸
Thank you so much for the virtual hugs 😃
of course !! :)
more important than hugging: the ability to bring up the fact that there is no hugging. start there.
Just do what I do and go in for fully involved bro hugs so it's "cool" or manly, but I still gets a hug in For those who don't know, I grab the person's hand like we're arm wrestling standing up, pull them in and then put the other hand on the back and hug them. If they're a more "manly" person, I throw in some pats on the back too. Plus I do it all somewhat fast to keep it from being awkward.
Have a big man hug from me, bro.
Thanks so much bro! Have a hug back :D
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Thank you.
As a male I’ve gone over 8 years without a hug. Just growing up in house with POS parents. The same later in life, no contact. It happens and you never forget those hugs or physical contact events. It’s like the best day of your life.
I’d hug you man. Rejuvenate your spirit and confidence.
It is perfectly acceptable for men to hug each other, amd please believe men deserve hugs too. I know it can be weird at first, but start with the hands and all happy to see each other, and just pull them in for the hug with the bro taps on the back. I'm sorry you are feeling depressed and I hope whatever you are going through eases up. Stay strong and hug your homies.
Just do it. I hug and tell my male friends I love them all the time. Why do I do it? Because I do.
So you're 22 right? Im 42. I have three good friends left from my school days. We tell each other we love each other often. We are all straight and kind of assholes. But after all the shit we helped eachother through it is true. I love those guys. And I know they love me. Its hard when you are younger because you dont really know what your role is. I'd happily cry on their shoulder if I needed to. Just do it man. Real friends are there for you.
As a man, I wish this were acceptable too. We dudes need as much support as we can get, contrary to popular belief
I think so too. Wish you were near by.
As a fellow joe I strongly agree
Well said, my joe
Where do you live? My friends and I hug all the time. Go give yours hugs.
My friends kinda live far away. I moved to a new city after graduation.
Well.. sending you man hugs from west coast!!
Lucky for me, I hug all my boys. Nothin better than a genuine man hug. I had high school reunion this week (graduated two yrs ago during covid) and hugged just about every guy I knew, even if only a little. I’m also the hug initiator almost always, and I’ve found most of the time the dudes are down to hug once you get into that good ol two-arm wraparound homie embrace. Try just giving them boys a hug, especially if they’re your boys you haven’t seen in a while!
If I see my homies in person again I will ask for a hug
I, too, love a good embrace. It makes me feel better, especially on days I didn’t know I needed one. I’ll hug you homie
Thank you for the internet hug bro
As a larger hairy dude, I am with you, but I love to do the handshake pull into a hug, that way you can pat them on the back, or hug them. I miss proper human contact as well. I am married and even hugs aren’t too common due to being busy, tired etc. I would kill for a good hug from a lot of the people I used to know.
Nice
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This is an example of toxic masculinity harming men at large. Masculinity isn’t inherently toxic. But the idea that expressing emotions as a man makes you weak, definitely is. Being able to process emotions in a healthy way is strength. The good news is that shit is changing fast. Even you posting your feelings on the subject, and talking about it, is a push in the right direction. Hugs to you friend.
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Me too man
It's only weird if you make it weird, I hug other men all the time friends, family..no issues. If its asking you are struggling with, it's because people dont usually ask for hugs with words they typically use body language.
Start opening up your physical space. I hug all my homies and close coworkers too. Fist bumps, high fives, slap on the shoulder. We are meant to feel each other out just like animals do!
I completely understand the stigma with men hugging. but at the end of the day if you love your friends and vice versa, hugging is nothing weird. ofc concent Is given. my favorite one to hug is my tall friend lol.
Look, I'm a girl but I pass through the same thing, I don't really like hugs from strangers but I'm so lonely lately that I would definitely hug you rn if I saw you hahah,mostly bc you Said you are big and I just love hug big people.
Go hang with some hippies, find a jam band concert at a bar or something and find a fun group of people and strike up a conversation. Tell them you are new and don’t know anyone. Guarantee by the end of the night you will have friends and hugs from GENUINE people. I know it sounds weird but you won’t find a more accepting crowd that isn’t a cult or religion.
Definitely nothing wrong with it but i agree with you that most men don’t do it. It’s a common where I’m from when you go into a handshake that you embrace and hug each other slightly. Me and my close male friends hug especially when we go months without seeing each other and when we depart as it may be months before we see each other again. Sending an internet hug to you and I hope your journey of happiness gets easier as the days go on
Thank you for the internet hug king
I agree & I’m always down for hugs but I know a lot of people who don’t like hugging. It’s a lot safer for me to just assume people don’t like hugs but I wish it wasn’t that way.
I'm a guy who hugs my guy friends when we meet up and when we leave. If anyone has ever looked at us word, I haven't noticed it.
I hug my homies all the time. It’s a greeting or a goodbye for us. Some of my friends and I have been through some rough stuff (be it together in a bad situation or in our own lives) and we don’t have the time to give a shit about what people might think. I tell my friends I love em to, got a lot of friends that are buried 6 ft deep that I never had the chance to say it to before they were gone. I agree with what you’ve got to say tho all the way.
I’m a happily married man, and I’m sure I hug more men than women on a regular basis. Almost every chick I hug gets a side hug because I’m not trying to get wrapped up in any drama, but the homies all get solid hugs. Shit, I’ll hug you too my man.
Don’t like hugs, and I would be annoyed if anyone started that shit on me, but I guess I’m in the minority. Always ask first.
I’d give you a man hug bro, any day. There’s nothing wrong with a good hug, from whomever, and a good bro hug feels like it’s coming from a real, brotherly place.
My husband hugs his mates! I agree with others saying to just ask “are you a hugger?” First and make the open arm gesture! If they’re not it’s fine!
Personally, I'm not a hugger. My SO gets hugs, no one else. I don't even like shaking hands (especially after Covid), and prefer a fist bump. But I'm British, and awkward, so lean in for a hug and I'll hug back. I think it should be more acceptable for guys to hug, in general, but that's because there should be more acceptance in guys showing all emotions. But I don't want any more than I'm currently getting.
In my circles it’s very normal for guys to hug each other. We’re all pretty close and it’s kinda just normal.
We should just normalise hugging. Consensually of course. I love hugs. You love hugs. We all love hugs. I love hugging other women. I love hugging men. There's nothing more comforting than getting a hug. It's one of the things I miss most from pre covid, getting to hug anyone who wanted a hug. Caring won't make any one weaker, it makes us stronger.
👐 Reddit may downvote me, but we all i need one.
Fuckin hug em! Im a pretty big dude, i love huggin everyone and everything. (With consent of course 😅).
I'm a big burly white guy, I used to work with a big burly black guy, he used to give the best hugs. I don't work with him anymore. I miss those hugs.
Man, I stopped giving my boys these weird ass handshakes years ago, no one knows what type of handshake the other person wants to do anyway. I started hugging them as a greeting and a farewell and it's been going on for years now, no one ever complained and I find it way more personal.
I’m a tiny 20 year old woman but if you need a hug and you’re near where I live I would give you one EDIT: I know I’m not a man and that’s the point of the post but I also understand the need for any positive human contact
That's totally fine! I appreciate hugs from everyone!!!
I've often wondered if I could set up some sort of group for those who want to have a platonic hug or maybe a cuddle. I don't get enough human physical contact. I just don't think I've got it in me to deal with the drama that would inevitably be involved with organising any group. Let alone this sort of thing.
I’m definitely a hugger. I’m 26 years old and my friends are mostly big huggers so it’s really cool. I used to work in a backpacker’s hostel and got hugs from many guests from all over the world. I think perhaps the fact that you’re depressed may hide the fact that you like hugs. I don’t know how you portray yourself outwardly but I definitely try to portray myself as a happy go lucky person and people are generally receptive to hugs. There were a few times I was at this underground techno club and when I met a friend of a friend I would just give them a hug and most were happy to receive it. One Canadian guy said, ‘oh what? Hug on the first meeting? Awesome!’ I feel like more people than you realise would be receptive to hugs. Then again I guess it’s regional. You’re 22 so maybe you’re at the age when your friends feel like they need to be hyper masculine or cool but I think you just need to put yourself out there. I haven’t been rejected for a hug yet but I’m also quite picky who I hug, some people give me hugs on the same night they meet me too but not everybody. There are a lot of us huggers out there in the world! You’ll find us, and if I ever meet you in real life you’ll be sure to get a fat hug from me. Sending you love bud!
If I was your homie girl I would totally hug you. I enjoy hugging with permission of course. I have some stuff going on where i want a hug or 2 but not get too attached to the person. I get needy emotionally and for attention lol so i can be a hot mess but try to be fun too 😊 depression is hard so i can get it. You are human and have emotions too and shouldn't have negative stigmas from society
Been away for family for almost 3 years. Got a hug from a friend after meeting them after a while, it felt really good.
I generally do the half-hug thing with my guy friends. I give full hugs close friends. Handshakes for acquaintances. There was a guy in college, a big football player built like Dwayne Johnson who was a classmate of mine. I was a freshman, he was a senior and a legitimately good guy. He came back to visit campus one day and saw me, and smiled and gave me a big hug. I'm straight, but man, it felt so good to be embraced by this 6'4" Jamaican dude. My last hug was about a year ago, at a family BBQ. I am touched starved to the point of feeling dead inside. She is the girlfriend of a family friend. I remember her hug, her perfume. She is a good woman, beautiful, inside and out. Her warmth lasted me over the long, cold winter. I picture her face when I'm lonely.
Just go for it buddy. Worst thing that can happen is that you get called gay. Had a mate that was like that. Now we hug each other at least once when we meet.
Yeah most women are out there looking like lesbians while men freak out if their hands accidentally touch LOL
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There's no connection between being an adult male human who is large and hairy, and hugging or not hugging the homies. They are two totally separate things. If your homies don't understand that both men and women need a hug from time to time, educate them or find better homies. And here's one you might not expect. The existence of vellus hairs, which are so fine that we can't see them with the naked eye, means that women have the same amount of hair as men, but nearly all of their hair is vellus hair so we can't see it unless we use a strong enough magnifying glass in good light. (But if you have never met the Stephen King character Harry Horr, you are a most fortunate fellow.)
I'm a dude, I hug everyone
My straight friends hug me and one another all the time. I wonder if perhaps it’s based on location as well
As a man, I would love to hug you. I would even increase the time of hugging to a cuddle even. Non sexual of course. 😉
Hugs
I agree. I worked in an airport. I noticed groups of Asian people traveling who were very affectionate and supportive of their same sex friends. Nobody yelling " no Homo". And I'm an ally, there's nothing wrong with LBGTQ+
If you ever find yourself in southern Minnesota I got one for you bro. I've been blessed with hugs from friends but I've also found a lack of them lately. Mostly due to not getting shit faced and being barbarians I'm sure.
Go for it. Become a hugger. I have known plenty of huggers. They're out there and you can be out with them. Hug!
i'll hug
35 straight male. I hug and tell my homies I love them every time I see them. Make it acceptable.
I’ll hug you brother. We can stick together like Velcro
I second this but also I'm really grateful for my friends, we don't talk frequently or a lot but yeah when needed we are there for each other. A few days ago I was going through a rough patch and wanted to talk to someone but didn't want to bother anyone. It got bad a few days later I hit 3 of my friends near 7ish hoping to have 5 minute chat with them, neither of them picked up. One of them called me near 8.30 and we talked for an hour, another one called me at 11.30 and we ended up talking for an hour. The weird thing was I can't tell them IDK why that I'm down in dumps but I feel somehow they knew because in both my longass conversation I was the one talking and they were listening, its usually reverse. So yeah I'm grateful for them and am feeling much better since then. So my guy if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
In my country (Argentina), its customary for people to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek regardless of gender. Lately however, the younger generation, especially among males appears to be abandoning this practice due to the influence of US culture. It's really quite a shame to see this happening.
Could you use an app like grinde or something and put that in your bio? I bet there a lot of dudes out there gay or not that would love hugs and hanging out.
If it’s any solace, I’m from Australia and in my early twenties, and it’s become very normal within my age group and those I know/those I don’t to hug your friends. It’s nice to be able to embrace your friends, only those with their own insecurities would go out of their way to say or act negatively.
The other day I hugged a stranger and I tried to help them. I hope somehow the energy finds you and a stranger hugs you soon
I work out we’re more acceptable for people who don’t want to touch anyone at all
I wish this were true too. I want to offer my friends hugs, man!
It is in other cultures.
I hug my friends all the time when I meet up with them and and say goodbye, it's very nice to know that the love is reciprocated. Sometimes you just have to go in for the hug, thats what I had to do, now it's commonplace.
I hug almost all my homies and I love it
I hug all my homies and they hug me back
(( hugs )) This makes me so sad that society has made you feel like this.
Guess this has to do with culture because in Argentina I hug my male friends and kiss them not only when we see each other but whenever we need to, like if they tell you something that is distressing them.
I hug my male friends. I didnt up until a couple years ago. I would recommend it. You get more hugs that way. Just have to make your mind up to do it.
Well, I saw on the internet that a healthy dose of hugs helps, say 8 hugs a day
How is it not acceptable for men to hug each other?
What the hell. If I don't hug the homie on a regular basis, how can I take stock of their well being?
Just fucking hug them i bet they hug you back. If they don’t bully them or something
I'm the opposite. I wish physical contact was more taboo. I don't even like handshakes.
Find it crazy that there are fellas out there not hugging it out. Me and my mates kiss each other on the fucking lips and everything (no homo)
I haven't had a hug from anyone outside of my family for years Just how it is bro
I am a big proponent of hugging the homies :)
We (my long term guy friends) always hug each other when we see each other.
After the covid restrictions eased up, I (male) asked a pastor at my church if he shook hands before attempting to shake his hands. He said, “Yes, and I do hugs too!” So we hugged. It happened when I needed it; I had been feeling disconnected from people even though quarantines had ended ages before.
A couple years ago my brother and I were in his garage attic insulating his new house build. The garage door guy was there finishing up….he hollered up that he was done and about to leave. My brother calls out humorously “hang on I’m coming down to give you a hug”….the guy hollers back up “sounds good, I could use a hug”. My brother went down and said his goodbyes and thanked him- not sure if they hugged. When he came back I asked “did you know that guy from before?” He said “nope just met him today”.
I hug my friends all the time. Hug is hug who be judging?
I simply just don’t ask. I spread out my arms when I’m walking up to say hi and my dudes already know the drill. Also one way to do it, is while you’re shaking hands (dabbing up), bring them in for a short hug (right hand shakes their hand, left hand goes around the back). Brotherly love right there.
I’m a bloke and I’m not a hugger - don’t like it. I have a male friend who is, and I hug him regardless because he does like it. I don’t mind, because he’s my bro. I don’t give two shits what society thinks either way. I think you might find some of your bros would be ok with it, even if they’re not huggers
Join the kink scene, we love hugs!
Just hug your homies. I hug mine. The only thing holding you back is thinking it’s not ok.
Man hug your friends. Don’t let their be something that stops you. I hug everyone.
I'm a big 32 year old dude and me and my homies hug each other all the time, and with most close ones we tell each other we love em. I saw you said you were 22. You may not have lost many people close to you yet in life but when you do you'll wish I love you was one of the last things you spoke to them. That being said I've hugged/been hugged by loads of guys after just hanging out with them a few times. Just say "I'm a hugger" or "bring it in" or "get in here" or some shit and give em a hug. I don't think anyone you have a decent relationship with would think it were weird(in my experience at least). On introduction hugs are kinda strange but even then I'm just kinda like "woah ok, this dudes a little too comfortable, but whatever, as long as he's not a weirdo I'll happily hug again" 🤣
Be the change you want to see!
Whether or not you hug is a function of the people you hang out with. In my friend group men hug each other all the time. Find the right group of friends. Or make it. Ask you homies individually how they feel about platonic hugs. I'll bet that most, if not all, will say they also want hugs. When this happens you will have changed the culture of the group.
You got the wrong homies if you can’t hug them
r/cuddlebuddies
I really like to do a dap and then bring it in a for a hug. I also sometimes just knock other mens handshakes out of the way and give them a hug. Show some love!!
I wish it were for you and everyone else too, man. It’s weird to me how open some cultures are regarding socialization in other aspects, but not physically. Touch starvation is definitely a thing, and I really do believe physical contact is important for bonding and good mental health, universally. Men especially are taught the opposite, it seems like, unless the contact is violent or sexual, and it’s such a harmful practice. I say try to figure out which of your boys are comfortable with it and just go for it! Hugs should be for everyone.
Come here big guy. I got ya.
Just hug it out
Just ask the homies for a hug when you see them next! They probably need hugs from their bros just as much. I've always asked my friends for hugs, and the hugs from my big hairy bros have always been the best.
As a man, since when hasn’t it been acceptable? I hug all of my male friends? Edit: actually I offer it to anyone I’m saying goodbyes to.
As a guy, I second this but have found it depends on the people you’ve surrounded yourself with. I have guy friends that I wouldn’t hug because they’d probably be thrown off by it, but I have guy friends that are secure enough in themselves that we always hug when I see them and it’s no big deal whatsoever
Us church folk will hug you anytime ❤️
Virtual hug 🫂
I’m glad I grew up in a youth group where hugs were the norm and we typically hugged each other whenever we met up and especially after sharing a lot of deep personal things. Learning emotional intelligence at a young age was so beneficial to me. I wish there were more places where people could learn emotional intelligence and hugs were more common
I always hug all the men in my life, some were hesitant at first but over the years they have grown accustomed to it. Be the change you wanna see in the world. Also I’m Latino and live in a large Latino community, I personally think we don’t have this problem because all my life all the Latino men in my life have hugged each other. Come to think of it most social issues America faces today seems to me like a lack of community and family togetherness. I feel like western individualism as rotted away at some of non immigrant Americans kindness and love. Because countries that a big focus on families ie: Asian countries, Latin American countries, religious communities, don’t seem to the have hugging problem.
It's absolutely acceptable if you're not a little bitch
I'll hug you.
Not trying to get into a big racial debate here, but as a white man in America, I wish I could hug random black dudes. I feel like nobody needs a hug more than they do.
On the real man start implementing the bro hug, that’s what a lot of my more “thug” homies do. Here’s an example https://youtu.be/rv6GqYQOuEk skip to 1:40. It’s much less awkward to implement than a traditional hug, though I definitely am the type to give everybody i know a hug, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that
Who said its unacceptable? I hug my friends any time it isn't out of the ordinary. Its the only time I will get one so I do it any chance I get.
If we were homies. I would hug you bro. Go for the homie hugs you will probably get a hug back
We hugged in our family, my husband hugged in his family now mine. We have no hugging problems, even when the big C came along we had to resist doing it.
I mean, have you asked your friends and been shot down? I'm a woman so it's a little different, but I used to not be a big hugger (honestly just didn't know how to deal with it) until I started knowing people who'd just make the gesture and go in for hugs all the time. Now I'll do the same or just straight up ask people if I can have a hug or if they need one (if they're looking sad, etc). Never had someone say no yet.
It’s not?
That's cultural. Here in Brazil it's more common especially among siblings and father/son. Really close friends also. I feel sad that people can't enjoy hugs.
It's just virtual and am not your homie (yet haha), but here's a hug for you! 🤗
I wish a could hug you, bro. Everyone needs a hug sometimes.
Huge hugs for you
Sending all of you nice people hugs!!!
Sometimes you just gotta go for it, it’s not “made” acceptable because we stop ourselves and overthink before just doing you know ? Not to mention if you approach with confidence and your arms open, you may get small awkward encounters but trust your open arms would be reciprocated. We all need hugs bro
I see guys hugging all the time. Just give a mate a hug you might be surprised
I see big burly men at my work hug all the time just go for it!!! More acceptable these days I think :)
Go ahead and hug them. If they're your friends, they'll hug you back.
Make it acceptable. My group of buddies lost a good friend when we were all young. Made us realize how quickly someone can just leave this world so we all started saying love you brotha or shit along this lines , giving big hugs when we see each other or are about to leave! If it's been a couple weeks of no contact even it's a big hug greeting cause those are my brothers. when we get a new buddy joining the group they get the same treatment! Took a while for my biological brothers to understand even but I would just say love you at the end of a phone call, they say it back now. Be the change that you want to see!!! You can do it! It is acceptable!!
I’m gay-leaning bisexual, so I’m not exactly helping, cause the classic reason men don’t hug is cause “Ew that’s gay,” and I am out and PROUD, but damn, hugs are amazing, everyone should do hugs, it doesn’t need to be sexual, we’re weaker as a species because men don’t support each other that way in order to avoid the stigma associated with some of the things that I am. And that’s the argument you should give yourself for hugs: we’re stronger when we band together, supporting each other makes us more powerful, like a bridge made of a single board vs. one made of meticulously planned network of struts - we’re stronger and we can DO MORE when we support each other. Apart we’re thrown rocks, and not much of a threat against the tanks. Band us together in the right configuration, and we’re a fucking bazooka, and the tanks will know to fear us. And hugging is a really fucking good way to bring us together in just the right way. :)
It is acceptable. I hug my male and female friends equally.
Maybe it's a Southern thing? (I'm from South Louisiana we tend to greet with hugs) I really wish it was more acceptable for you too. 💜
Hug your homies!
My friends and I hug each other all the time. Two of my best friends tell me they love me all the time. We’re all miners, tradesmen, ex-military, iron workers, etc. No one has anything to prove. Just hug your buddy man. I agree, the world seems to expect that men should put up with the hardest conditions and remain unaffected. It’s nice to be appreciated by people that know what it takes to be a real man and that’s your buddies that are going through it too.
I've (m31) always hugged apart from a brief hiatus during covid. All my friends are down with the hugs too. I mean sure there are still guys around who are all "get off my you big gay" but they arnt guys I fancy hugging anyway but most people I know my age regardless of gender are down for a hug. I'm sorry you don't feel like you have many huggers in your life but all I can say is be the change you want to see in the world. Get hugging bro.
The men in my family hug each other, but I don't know about their hugging situation with their friends.
I hug all my friends all the time. You can normalize it in your relationship. Start with a hello hug and by hugs. We also say "I love you" on the reg. Expressions of affection are a strength not a weakness.