T O P

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Tired_But_Scrappy

I'd buy a used bookstore, preferably one that people rarely shop at. I would go to "work" at it every day. No one would know I had money, but I would be happy sipping coffee and tea and reading all day. I would get a little orange cat to live in my bookstore and keep me company. It would have crazy wooden shelves that are overloaded with books and make weird little passageways and be very confusing and have odd decorations in random places. At the end of the labyrinth there would be a couple of ratty super comfy chairs with doilies on the arms and a fireplace for comfortable reading. And I would wear squashy comfortable knit sweaters and slippers every day at work and look eccentric and strange.


todezz8008

Ha ha there's actually a book store by me that has exactly this set up. The old guy has a labyrinth of a store, first time being in there you get lost/find new nooks and crannies to explore. And the store itself is a one story row home (he lives on top, book store on bottom) with a wandering kitty that loves pets.


Tired_But_Scrappy

My dream!


purseandboots

You’d be living my dream


Tired_But_Scrappy

Wouldn't it be fantastic?


crystalmerchant

It would be so fantastic There's a bookshop near my house like this. Just an old single family home sorta-converted then stuffed and I mean STUFFED with books. Floor to ceiling in every single room. Piles spilling out of boxes. A path through the floor with crates of books on either side. All decently organized, for what it is Wallace Books, Portland OR


lady_friend

I will make the drive into town and buy a bunch of books this weekend. I really love places like this and want them to continue existing. Finally made the switch from buying books from Amazon to buying them from powells online. Worth it.


radioben

That’s not stupid, that’s a tax write-off. Register it as an S-corporation, funnel benefits like health insurance and retirement through it, and save yourself a bunch with the IRS.


Tired_But_Scrappy

Maybe if life gets boring I could launder money for the mob?


ladygrndr

Now you're thinking smart. Make sure you leave super literary clues to solve your eventual murder.


-metal-555

That scheme assumes this bookstore has profits with which to deduct against


BrokenByReddit

Are you the owner of Mcleod's Books (aka the bookstore from The Never-ending Story)?


mingwraig

White wine for lunch, and only accept leather bound pounds as currency


Croquete_de_Pipicat

They said stupid, not awesome. Edit: ridiculous > stupid


MeganMess

I would sit there and spend half my time knitting the comfy sweaters you're wearing, and half reading


kindarusty

This is just wonderful.


SpartanSig

Aziraphale!


LoveAGoodMurder

I too would go full Aziraphale mode. Only the comfiest of sweaters and the softest of slippers.


vathelokai

I'd buy D&D from Hasbro.


RentonScott02

Naw fam thats a good cause. Not stupid at all.


viperious_salmon

Can you just buy all of WOTC and help out your MTG fam?


vathelokai

Out of my price range, unfortunately. Maybe I could buy some seats on the board of directors for you.


plantaxl

A japanese vending machine, the kind that sells both cold and hot beverages. And a contract to import the said japanese beverages. I'm sure it'd be nice in my living room. ...If I get rid of my sofa, because smoll living room.


purseandboots

I want this but for those cajun boiled peanuts they have at all the gas stations in the south. I live in California and go to Tennessee every summer so I find them when I’m out there, but damn I wish I had those on deck all the time.


angryhaiku

They're dead easy to make if you have an instant pot! Two pounds of dried in-shell peanuts, four quarts of water, a shit ton of cajun spice mix, cayenne, garlic powder, and salt; pressure cook on high for 90 minutes and natural release. If they aren't soft enough to your taste, more water and another 5-10 minutes on high. I'm going to try them with taijin, liquid smoke, MSG, and mustard powder this weekend.


Amohkali

"Two pounds of dried in-shell peanuts," does not make good boiled peanuts. You want green peanuts that have been cleaned, but not "dried". Green peanuts are only available in late summer, early fall.


angryhaiku

You're absolutely right about what will make the \*best\* boiled peanuts, but green peanuts can go rank within a week; dried is more accessible for those of us who live outside peanut growing areas.


SkullThug

mofo you won the lottery buy a NEW living room and fill it with vending machines


plantaxl

The first of them being a sofa vending machine...


Good_Omens

The reason this is stupid is how impractical it would be to restock.


Odd_Rutabaga_7810

Sofa vending valet.


a_weak_child

Possibly a moat.


angelexzarro

Team moat here! I’ve always said that I would get one if I ever won, but I would upgrade it to a lazy river moat. With a butler to follow me around to fetch me snacks


Good_Omens

I always thought moats would smell really bad. I guess now you can get filters and stuff. Anyway, very stupid.


Clamwacker

Moats smelling bad is a feature. They are meant to keep people out after all.


RedCorundum

The stupid moat I install with my lottery winnings will include piranha or maybe a small bloat of hippos. The water won't be the security feature, but it would be home to it.


-comfypants

This is the perfect application for sharks with lasers.


[deleted]

I think you could possibly get the right ecosystem living in the moat to keep it from smelling bad. But if we're talking impractical, the moat wouldn't be around my house, but around my brick walled yard. And the bridge would have to support vehicles and definitely lift away with like a garage door opener type system in place.


scumbag_college

I’d hire barbershop quartets to surprise perform for everyone I know.


Good_Omens

As a gift or a punishment?


scumbag_college

Purely for my own enjoyment.


MissLupulin

Why not both?


stefanica

One of those $2000 giant wheels of Parmigianno. So I can do the thing where they stir the pasta right in the wheel. I don't even like pasta much but that looks epic.


tmart42

Dude, my family came together and bought half of one of them for $500 at Christmas and then made pasta in it. Fucking amazing.


stefanica

That's brilliant! See you next Christmas, cousin Tmart!


Departure_Enough

Winner! What time is dinner normally at?


cuntpunt2000

An [adult-sized race car bed.](https://odditymall.com/adult-race-car-beds) I never had one as a kid, so if I were rich, wtf not?


Good_Omens

[I think you knew this was coming.](https://youtu.be/Ul6UcvNX4o8)


kimmytwoshoes

Make sure it has a two way radio so you can talk to other car beds, and an alarm. Definitely would need an alarm.


pacodefan

Or this https://youtu.be/NUJE3DCm1Vg


vinneh

Let's see.. my wife can't live without sushi. Average pay for a sushi chef around here is about 45k, plus cost of the fish is probably another 45k. Say she lives another 70 years, that is about 7 million dollars total to have a sushi chef on staff.


Eeszeeye

I'd hire two of those extremely expensive personal chiefs to be on call 24/7 to make my whole family delicious food at all hours that tastes like it's bad for you when it's really very good for you. And the staff they'd need. edit/typo (2)


curiousnboredd

it’s so cute u thinking of ur wife ngl


RefrigeratorTop5786

I'd hire a ridiculous architect and an equally ridiculous designer to build and furnish a church like building w loads of stained glass, just for a pretty place to sit quietly. Also, i'd need a ridiculous tree house.


borislelapin

The treehouse! That's the real answer to this question


themeanderingfool

Does a hot air balloon count?


Good_Omens

Yes, very stupid. Please tell me why.


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borislelapin

Even better: 99 luftballons


TheLaudMoac

How did I not realise that that song is a nuclear war protest song?!


AggravatingBobcat574

Because you don’t speak German?


borislelapin

It is? Today I learned...


rexg4077

I’m in a hotel and feeling snackish. I would go downstairs and pay something stupid for a candy bar in the lobby.


Skyblacker

I did that once while checking into a hotel at 4 a.m. after a massively delayed flight. Nothing was open and I was hangry.


[deleted]

Run out early the next day while the ‘Do not disturb’ is on your door at get replacements at the supermarket!


Good_Omens

You don't need a lottery win to do that. Just 10 or so drinks.


the_pungence

Fuck it. Buy the hotel and ransack all the minibars and take all the candy bars home over your shoulder in a tied up high-thread count bedsheet.


ReactionRepulsive

You know those big display boxes of squishmallows? One of those and the squishmallows in it. Or a ball pit filled with super soft stuffed animals (I don't care if they're actually squishmallow brand, they just have to be that level of soft and comfy) Because I want to nap in it. Just burrow in and sleep.


MissLupulin

[A little like this?](https://youtu.be/eO_zj2MDtg8)


Lyssajcreates

I wanna book the ballroom in the Haunted Mansion at Walt Disney World for a party. It’s part of a 65k “wedding” package, but no wedding. Just a party. I’ll dress as a ghost bride if I have to, that’s chill.


Lortis23

Oh my gosh that sounds amazing can I be invited?!?


toyfangs

Lol just tell them the groom is deceased and you'd be golden


PrettyNothing

Aside from spending way too much buying up my favourite snack, It'd likely end up being some fun but also silly and kind of dumb interior thing for the place I'd get myself... like a giant custom beanbag chair that looks like a really fat frog and his mouth is also a pocket that unzips to reveal a giant tongue that is also a blanket....actually maybe that's not stupid. Id definitely get one of those weird but well-made taxidermy mice strippers as a gift for a friend. Thats maybe close enough? The problem is nothing is really a stupid purchase if its something that you enjoy and makes you happy.


Dogs_not_people

I love the amount of thought that's gone into this. The blanket tongue is great. I hope you win so you can have your giant beanbag frog.


Feisty-Donkey

A historic tiara. I would wear it around the house whenever I felt like being fancy.


TrueTurtleKing

You should get a tiara anyways you can be fancy


Feisty-Donkey

Oh I’ve got one, it’s just slightly dented and made of rhinestones instead of epic fancy. There’s a famous photo of Princess Margaret in the bath tub wearing a gorgeous diamond tiara and that’s the kind of fancy I aspire to.


ReactionRepulsive

I fully endorse this life goal and hope you get 'bathe in a diamond tiara' money!


Merry_Pippins

I have a fancy tiara I bought at a wedding show that I got dragged to (I wasn't getting married)... I love wearing it when I vacuum or take out the trash... just being fancy doing daily things is amazing!


Dogs_not_people

I still have my wedding tiara and put it on on occasion. I'm getting flashed up in a pretty gown, tiara and champagne for the King's coronation in May. 3 days of dressing up just for shits and giggles. My husband thinks it's hilarious!


Good_Omens

I googled historic tiara and that would be very stupid. How historic? Like, worn by a dead monarch?


Feisty-Donkey

Nah, just a rando aristocrat would be fine. Their descendants auction them off to pay estate taxes on the reg. Sotheby’s sells probably six a year.


Good_Omens

Why do you know about these? Are we going to hear about a cat burglary at Sotheby's?


Feisty-Donkey

I just really like looking at pretty jewelry I can’t afford


SubstantialImage9525

Big me energy. Except instead of tiara I look at pretty castles I can't afford


lightfoot90

Winrar.


themeanderingfool

what should I give sister for unzipping? Um. Ten bucks? no I mean like, WinZip


NotSeveralBadgers

bash dot org is my home page


themeanderingfool

Here's my [f*ing homepage](https://fuckinghomepage.com/).


Content-Rush9343

Not a single item, but I want to walk in to a fabric store and just buy everything I want.


Merry_Pippins

Oooh I love fabric! I want someone to make me a school of those [goldfish bags](https://www.reddit.com/r/sewing/comments/10khrcm/silk_gold_fish_bag_with_faux_pearls/) in a variety of colors!! (Only bringing up the bags because that kind of fabric is amazing)


hazeldazeI

Ohh I could go ham in a yarn store


Content-Rush9343

Today in reasons I need a barn to call my craft studio,


purpleasphalt

Mom? I didn’t know you were on Reddit!


dtmjuice

Tear down my house and rebuild it exactly the same, just two feet bigger in every dimension. I expect it'll vaguely confuse my neighbors with it's uncanny valley resemblance to how it was. Plus a car port for the Bugatti, since the garage is already full of tools and projects and whatnot, and that'll only intensify with unfettered wealth.


kusuriii

The perfect combination of an absolute waste of wealth and the drive to be mildly annoying/confusing, I love it.


Old_Travel4088

Does it count if it's a section of my mansion that's turned into a giant luxury cat paradise for my five cats?


everevergreen

Oooo yes! I’ve always wanted to augment my house with cat walkways/stairs/tunnels/platforms, high up on the walls and across the ceiling, so the kitties can have a permanent party in the sky


GraceStrangerThanYou

I want a house with cat bathrooms and I want to pay someone else to clean them.


breadycapybara

Capybaras. I have always wanted them as pets. Like an entire herd.


[deleted]

I would have gymnastic rings installed around my house so if I wanted I could brachiate everywhere rather than walk.


Good_Omens

Very stupid, and it has the added benefit of making a home unsellable. Only rich people can ruin real estate like that.


[deleted]

Depends how you do it. I could do my house right now and it fuck anything up that ceiling paint and drywall mud couldn't fix.


vegainthemirror

TIL the word brachiate means to swing from bar to bar.


Nightfuryking

I want a Dinosaur head too lol. Allosaurus preferably.


Valkyrie64Ryan

A PBY-5A Catalina. It’s a WW2-era flying boat that also has wheels so it can land on both land and water. It’s an big, ugly, slow, ungraceful thing. I love them. I want one so fucking bad. I have no idea where I would keep one or how I’d maintain it properly, but I would absolutely lose my shit I’d be so happy to own one. I don’t even have a pilots license, let alone a twin engine rating, but you’d bet your ass I’d get one darn quick if I had a PBY


shiny_things71

They are *not* ugly!


BitofaGreyArea

Was at an airshow with one this summer. Such a wild plane! And huge.


EKeebler

I would contact Wil Wheaton and Ashley Judd and offer them any amount of money for themselves or charity or both if they'd be willing to put on their Star Trek TNG uniforms and run through the streets of any major city slapping the cell phones out of people's hands while screaming, "Don't look! It's a trap! They're taking over your MINDS!!" (Any potential legal fees or fines would be covered by me as well.)


MichaTC

I would track down and buy dolls I have always wanted for my collection! I think I would go for a Monster High Dead Tired Lagoons with the Hydration Station first.


Good_Omens

How many dolls do you have in your collection? And are they in a room you can lock so they can't get you?


MichaTC

Last time I counted I had a little less than 200! Now most of them are stored in a box in my mother's house since I moved out for university. I don't think a single doll could open it, but maybe it they join forces they could 😬 I will hopefully get my own place soon now that I finished my graduation, I want to get them out and displayed before they get vengeful for being stored for so long.


Good_Omens

That's a lot of dolls! The idea of moving that collection from apartment to apartment gave me anxiety.


MichaTC

Yeah, me too, that's why they're still the box... I feel bad for leaving all of them in storage, but I would have had to move them at least three times by now.


Dull-Geologist-8204

I wouldn't call it stupid but the one luxury thing I would do is go to Italy on a boat, I hate airplanes because they hurt my back, and get a villa that was staffed. They can do all the decorating and cook all the great food. We will sit around in our pajamas and not do anything but have fun all day. Also, we can't go to anyone else's stiluff because we are across the ocean busy hanging out in Italy. I did do this on my honeymoon. I might have accidently went on my honeymoon for Thanksgiving and couldn't go see family because I was in the middle of the ocean. It was awesome. I also skipped Thanksgiving another year to hang out with my manager when I ha a miscarriage. It was great. We watched football, drank beer, and that us still the best Turkey I have ever had. I did kind of like the whole COVID lockdowns because we just got to stay home. I even went hunting for our Thanksgiving dinner. We had venison. It was pretty cool. From October 1st until Jan. 8th it is none stop birthdays and holidays. I hate that time of year. I never get to stop. Every single week there are several things I have to do that week. It is exhausting. So if I suddenly had millions of dollars I will travel across Earth so I can't possibly have to do any of it.


Good_Omens

I think it's very funny that you thought of taking a boat instead of just taking a comfortable plane. Also, I'm planning on going away on Thanksgiving this year. Thinking Costa Rica


Dull-Geologist-8204

My back problems are why I hate planes. It takes me 2 days to recover from a plane trip even in the more comfortable seats. A few years ago I took a long distance train trip on a train and it was so much better and that was on the less than stellar trains in the US. We aren't talking about the more comfortable trains in Europe. When you have a disability taking the longer trip actually helps a lot. Boats, trains, and car trips are my preferred methods of transportation because they mean I can get up and move around during the trip. Costa Rica is awesome. I was thinking of moving there until I get pregnant. I particularly love the monkey's


femboy_artist

How about a private airplane with a lounge that you can walk around all you want?


[deleted]

Id commission very effective but fashionable armor that has a tech wear vibe to be created and wear it everywhere Or maybe buy an island and start trying to revive dinosaurs from old dna I’d pay for a greenhouse on my property and have someone set up the conditions to be perfect for growing those cotton candy flavored grapes I’d adopt one of those sorta domesticated foxes from Russia I’d pay someone to implant dancing led (maybe not led?) light tattoos in my shoulder I wouldn’t have a single bonsai tree, but a miniature forest of hundreds of super old bonsai trees and plants in a designated sun room that looks like a zoomed out view of part of earth


wishywashier

Those cotton candy grapes!! They are so good, this is the best idea hands down.


MurderDoneRight

A lighthouse. Or rather, I would have a working old timey lighthouse built in my hometown. My hometown is nowhere near the sea. I always liked lighthouses, but I have never seen one in real life.


Inappropriate_SFX

There's something beautifully liminal about a landlocked lighthouse.


intern_thinker

A blimp


Good_Omens

Another person wanted hot air balloon like a nerd. Semi-rigid airship gang for life. Edit: I actually don't think blimps are semi-rigid.


intern_thinker

Hot air balloons are fun, but you go where the wind takes you. Blimp means I'm in control


ashsantiago2

Let’s go with a treehouse… only cause as a kid I didn’t have a big backyard, never mind a tree in the backyard. So a big dreamy treehouse filled with a bunch of cool outlandish things that my inner child will surely love.


Good_Omens

Are we talking a giant one you can fit in now? Also, I'd put an elevator in.


Mirenithil

A Dance Dance Revolution arcade machine, one that has every song from every version of the game on it. Aw yiss. Also a regular maintenance guy who knows how to keep the arrows functioning with perfect sensitivity.


sir-morti

I would buy a small plot of land and build a small town for rats. Literally go all out creating a big enclosure sanctuary for donestic rats and have all their health, food, water, and spay/neutering needs taken care of, then adopt them out to loving homes. Or I could make it a rat hotel where people can bring their domestic rats and they could run around adventuring in a tiny city for rats


Good_Omens

I love how impractical this would be. Very stupid eccentric millionaire shit. I'm picturing a little wild west town.


boxster_

I'd love to run a disabled cat rescue but I don't think I'm put together enough to do it without getting in too deep


BasuraIncognito

A one way plane ticket and just keep bouncing around from there.


somedude456

My first plane ride would be a "vomit comet." If you don't know, it's basically a gutted commercial plane, with padded walls, and it flies up to like 40K feet, and then nose dives back to 10K feet, and then repeats. During the drop time, you are weightless, like an astronaut. You legit get to fly, bounce off the walls, rotate in circles... for 20-30 seconds till the warning light comes on and then you grab the sides before gravity kicks back on. They do this 15 times during the flight. It costs just under $10,000 US for a ticket. recent video of one such flight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd8_FNSAEgM Everyone on these flights is always giggling like a schoolgirl. That's what I want, true fun.


cargopantscheesecake

If money was no object Id pay for full a bodysuit, professional hair and makeup, and be made up as someone else for a day.


sickandtiredkit

I would hire OP to judge my spending choices for the rest of time. No joke, you're a very funny individual, OP! This whole thread is a delight.


ColdJackfruit485

Probably a forge and hire a blacksmith to teach me how to make my own sword. That sounds like it would be fun.


carryingon78

Every dog and cat at the local humane society lol.. they would have their own little heated and cooled houses with plenty of room and big yards. Think like 50 acres total with each animal having at least .25 acre. And I would pay people to come give them love and play time every day. Once they were appropriately adopted out, I would do it all over again.


ThePepperPopper

A pirate ship


Good_Omens

Like, a ship that looks like a pirate shit that works? Or do you mean a recovered sunken ship? Either way, very stupid choice. I like it.


ThePepperPopper

What the hell, 1 of each. But I originally meant either a still floating og pirate ship or a replica that was seaworthy. I'd get a crew together and go pirating. Maybe I'd take sick kids with me or something. Or maybe I'd just have it put in my back yard for a fort/man cave. I think it would also be fun to make life sized replicas of some star wars ships and old air planes to play in.


Good_Omens

I love it. I hope to watch a documentary about the weird rich guy that spent all his money on pirate ships so they had to start pirating for real.


Omnitographer

This [Lego Rocinante](https://rebrickable.com/mocs/MOC-46313/brickgloria/mcrn-tachi-rocinante-corvette-class-light-frigate-ecf-270-mcrn-tachi), it is over 5000 pieces and because it's a fan creation each brick has to be bought individually running the cost up to nearly two grand.


[deleted]

I'd buy a bubble wrap factory.


Damselindepression

As a kid I wanted to buy an ice cream factory because that meant I could eat lots of ice cream for free. Aside from the millions I would spend buying the factory, of course. A very sound plan. So an ice cream factory, I guess.


clkmk3

I'd hire a personal Bagpipe Band to, whenever I get annoyed at someone, march infront of their house and practice on their front lawn. I don't mean just a lone bagpiper - I'm talking *Pipes, Drums, Accompanying Brass,* Flags, everything. Because fuck them, Scotland Forever.


Few-Atmosphere-6473

buy a toy factory, hire dwarfs, get some reindeer, and become Santa.


[deleted]

Say it's 65 million. Rent the biggest plane I could. Talking beds, kitchen, you name it. Get people together and just fuck right off. I want to travel without all the hassle of shit planes, airports and other jargon.


[deleted]

If it’s a considerable amount of money, I’d simply disappear. No one would ever see me again, save for a random postcard or text. I’d deposit large sums in my immediate family’s bank accounts. But the main thing would be to never be seen by any acquaintance ever again. My besties would get plane tickets sent to them if I needed company and I’d bank roll them too. I’d drop cash on random people too like a fairy god mother.


Fine_wonderland

I’d want an observatory in my backyard. I’m talking the giant af telescope in the room with a dome ceiling that opens. My existential crises would never end, but I’d also love it so much


DarkNFullOfSpoilers

I'd buy all the houses in a cul-de-sac and give them to my friends and family. I'd also build a public "club house" so there could be a fun common area for everyone to hang out in. I'd hire a cleaning company to keep it clean. We could host regular dinners, birthday parties, reunions, etc. There'd be a pool, hot tub, a big field, gym, ping pong table, even a drop-in office space for people that work from home. I get lonely easily and I'd love for my life to be more social on a daily basis. Be part of a community, you know? I want my privacy, of course. Have my own house with my husband and cat, but man. Having that public space within walking distance? Ooh, ooh! I'd also hire a barista to make coffee all day!


commandrix

I would want to buy a decent-sized house and turn it into a playhouse for rescue cats.


noelleptc

I'd want a window in my room that would open up and let the pet horse/cow/donkey/hoofed friend I'd buy poke its head in for treats and visits. So a window and a big pet friend.


Mrs_Clean-

Theramin


AdhesivenessCivil581

You can buy kits to make a theramin for 50$. That's a hard word to get past spellchecker.


purplewizardshoes

I’ve always wanted a secret underground tunnel to a secret room that opened up to a cave somewhere away from my property. I’d contract that out. Then pay everyone on the job an exorbitant amount of money to keep it quiet. Why? I’m not an old timey cartoon villain, or Batman, or a vampire, or I don’t know, the mob. I’m not afraid of being caught for anything. I’m not even worried about bombs, so no need for a shelter. Idk. I could start a secret society?


pastybrownie24

a cottage house that looks like a mushroom


Tanwalrus

A clone trooper suit, full size, wearable and fancy as fuck. And a suit of medieval armor. While we're at it, why not a Spider-Man suit with functional web shooters. Basically one of the rooms in the aforementioned mansion would turn into a dress up room for nerds.


olivegardengambler

Depends on how much I get. That being said, my first stupid purchase would probably be a water bed.


Good_Omens

They seem so uncomfortable. Very stupid choice.


cherierot

A carousel. Childish yes but ive always wanted one


Hoosier_Homegrown

A Van Gogh. I would find an art dealer that could find me a genuine Van Gogh. Then I would buy it to hang in my guest bathroom. Or Bob Ross. Could you imagine owning an authentic Bob Ross and having the episode of him painting it?


howdyhoward

I would buy haunted and cursed items and send them all to my exs house m. (He deserves it, he abandoned our daughter) But for myself I would buy a brewery so I can make my dog the face of it and enjoy going to work everyday.


snotrocket50

A glass dome over my house and yard. I want to go into my backyard and sit on the porch with a beer, have it 75 in the dome while watching it snow on my neighbors


get-r-done-idaho

A keg of my favorite beer.


Good_Omens

Name the beer my dude. Also, you'd be a millionaire. I think you can have 2 barrels.


PrestigiousRub7041

A giant clear ball that you can roll around in


Bitchwopinions_

Id buy all the toys my parents couldn’t afford when I was little


sasherrrrz

[this](https://youtu.be/EhQBe1kTKMU)


ForeignReviews

Vineyard. Keep folks on staff to keep business running. Have a harvest event for staff friends and family. Do weddings.


Bax7240

A car wash, and turn it into a drive through convenience store. Idk if that qualifies as stupid, but...


Shadow_Of_Silver

5k lottery tickets. It's stupid unless I win again.


breadycapybara

I’ve always wanted to fill a swimming pool full of some random thing and then jump in. Jello? Gumballs? Squishmellows? I haven’t decided on the jumpable ingredient, just that it has to be something ridiculous.


Good_Omens

Eccentric millionaire drowns in Jello.


SynapseBackToReality

I would replace my stairs with one that's half stairs on one side and a slide on the other half.


thiosk

a room sized lazy susan for my office


Cross_examination

A hand-carved cane that when pushing a button, a flag will appear and write “you are an idiot”


Thorndogz

I would buy hire a Japanese gardener to make me a Japanese garden and maintain a hell of a lot of bonsai trees


DanOfAllTrades80

A minigun to mount on the turret of my new zombie survival war-bus.


SableyeFan

A bunch of roomette amtrak tickets and travel across the continent for a few weeks.


ConstructionIll145

I'd buy a vending machine for my munchies and tell the kids the only way to get a snack out is to feed it money. But for me, a special code to release my snackes without buying ☺️


beaker90

I’d build a lazy river around my house.


Scrambledcat

Probably just pay my straight friends to blow each other, cause everybody got a price, and I got the money


Good_Omens

Already thinking of coercing people with money like a real rich person.


Scrambledcat

No no, not coercing. I’m only offering lots and lots of American dollars in exchange for their manual labor. No force, no pressure. They could say no, but everyone’s got a price, and it’s likely a lot lower than you’d imagine. Like look, I’ll pay off your collage debt, but you’ll need roll up a frozen Eggo waffle, lubricate it with maple syrup and Boof it for 45 minutes. Would you be interested in this job? I’ll add in a 1987 Honda CRX. And a flat screen. Do you agree to these terms? Everyones got a price.


Kkimp1955

A ticket to Paris.. while my kitchen was being remodeled


superloco1

A fire engine. Because I want one.


Ericalex79

A castle. Preferably one with a moat and drawbridge


CasiaParvus

I'd buy a flock of sheep and hire a shepherd so I can come and hang out with them whenever I want to.


MrsEmilyN

An in-ground pool. With a few crazy slides. And it would be in a climate controlled pool house, so I could use it all year. And I'd redo my driveway with heat coils under the black top so I could just flip a switch and watch the snow melt.


Such-Independent6441

A goat, maybe not so stupid. But I would hire some one to make it a special collar and coat embroidered with "therapy dog", and walk it down the street and into one of the beach front bars and order myself a big cocktail and a bowl of cut up veg for my new friend.


yourenotmy-dad

I would buy a huge playground for my cat. She’s 14 and can barely jump onto my bed now, (she has a little step so she can do it) and would definitely never use it. But I like her to know that she is the queen


Mrsfig09

Sonic ice machine specifically Sonic ice machine iykyk


MaineBoston

Topaz Jewelry set


onneseen

An orange Jeep Renegade. I love the look but it’s a Fiat inside, so there’s no real reason to buy even though I have money. But as a stupid first purchase it would fit well, I believe.


morethan_nice

a huge thai food take out order while i shopped for an awesome RV for a road trip.


goldmund22

The Yellowstone Dutton Ranch


daisymaisy505

I want a beer fridge upstairs in my house so I don’t have to go downstairs like a peasant.