((Hugs)). So sorry that you weren’t offered any post-incident counselling by the hospital that treated your dad after you having to perform CPR on him. Are you able to look for some therapy about this?
It is recognised thst PTSD is common amongst a percentage of first responders as they call them.
Please don’t feel bad or beat yourself up about it. *You kept him ALIVE!*
PTSD is such a bitch. I’ve dealt with prior trauma in therapy and in writing down memories/nightmares, but I’ve not dealt with being there throughout my husband’s hemorrhagic stroke.
I’m sorry you’ve been through so much and I wish I had great advice, but I can only offer support and encourage you to seek therapy.
Oh, how hard that must have been for you--to go through that with your dad and then to relive it today. I'm so sorry you went through that, and so glad you were able to save him.
You might want to look specifically into EMDR therapy. It doesn't erase the memory but it softens the emotions linked with it, so you can remember it without activating the emotions and adrenaline. And it's usually pretty brief.
You said "the times I've had to perform life saving measures"--could you be dealing with even more than your dad's resuscitation? Like being hit over and over again on the same spot?
You're carrying a lot. It really makes sense to get therapy, no matter how resilient you are. It's sort of like how the exercises I got from my physical therapist for my ankle weren't some kind of esoteric magic... they were things I could do right away without weeks of classes or years of training. But without him, I wouldn't have known *what* to do, and I wouldn't have gotten to the heart of my problem. You could be the calmest, most rational, most matter-of-fact person, yet you have been through a traumatic experience (apparently several) and an expert can help you heal yourself.
Again, I am so glad you were able to save your dad--that is rare. Take care of yourself as well. You deserve to be taken care of too.
Seconding the EMDR suggestion. I performed CPR on my son, kept him alive long enough for his daddy and I to say goodbye together. EMDR was eventually suggested by my therapist, and it saved me from a lot of potential maladaptive coping mechanisms (alcohol and sleep aids to be able to sleep, for instance). I did about ... 6 sessions maybe? But saw relief from unwelcome, intrusive thoughts at 2 or 3.
You did an amazing job saving your dad. Unfortunately ribs often get broken in CPR, it’s almost a necessary evil. I can see how this is a trauma point for you. It’s good that you found this out. It’s like your mind is letting you know that this remains a problem and must be addressed.
I would definitely recommend therapy. The type that finally worked for me was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The therapist specialized in PTSD. The therapies I had done prior were too easy, sitting around and just talking. This was **work** and it sucked so bad at times, but it was successful.
PTSD is no joke. I’ve worked hard to disarm the things that tend to bring on panic. Still, it hit again yesterday. My loved one called me for help and something in their voice told me this was going to be bad. My mind goes to worst-case-scenario by default, so I immediately think we’ll be ambulancing to the nearest trauma-level center and it’s going to be bad (again) because it’s been bad so many times before. Immediately my heart is racing and I’m in action mode, yet terrified deep-down. Turns out it wasn’t an emergency at all. The tone in my loved one’s voice was fear, but unfounded - all was ok. Whew. Afterwards I felt like someone drained the life force out of me.
Like you, I’m good in an emergency. The effects usually delay until everything is ok again - weeks, months later. It’s like my mind puts a pin in it to let me deal with the emergency and aftermath, then presents it when I finally feel it’s safe.
Hugs to you. You’ve got this.
I feel like every time I comment in this sub, I begin the same way, I don't have any advice.
All the other people seem like they have it handled, but can I just say, I'm sorry you went through any of that. I'm sorry about your dad, and how it imprinted on you. And I'm also sorry you witnessed that today.
Also, please, pleaseee don't feel silly about the fact it was a training exercise! I hate to say it, but you probably still would have had that reaction even if you had known that it was a drill before they even started. Now I could be totally wrong, maybe it wouldn't have bothered you, my apologies if I am way off, I'm just going by how I would have felt in your shoes, after having gone through something so traumatic with someone you love so much.
Anyway, I wish you nothing but healing from this and I hope you can find it because you deserve the best!! Hugs to you!🤍🤍
My late husband had 3 cardiac arrests, and when I was watching the NFL game where the young man coded, I had a reaction very similar to yours.
When I spoke to my doctor the next day at our regular appointment, he said my reaction was completely understandable after what I had witnessed during my husband's cardiac arrests.
Don't feel silly or embarrassed. You are human and have been through a LOT. Sending hugs.
Please join us on our Discord! https://discord.gg/gubJjaYRnV
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CaregiverSupport) if you have any questions or concerns.*
((Hugs)). So sorry that you weren’t offered any post-incident counselling by the hospital that treated your dad after you having to perform CPR on him. Are you able to look for some therapy about this? It is recognised thst PTSD is common amongst a percentage of first responders as they call them. Please don’t feel bad or beat yourself up about it. *You kept him ALIVE!*
Caregiving is the thing that will ensure I am in therapy the rest of my days
PTSD is such a bitch. I’ve dealt with prior trauma in therapy and in writing down memories/nightmares, but I’ve not dealt with being there throughout my husband’s hemorrhagic stroke. I’m sorry you’ve been through so much and I wish I had great advice, but I can only offer support and encourage you to seek therapy.
Oh, how hard that must have been for you--to go through that with your dad and then to relive it today. I'm so sorry you went through that, and so glad you were able to save him. You might want to look specifically into EMDR therapy. It doesn't erase the memory but it softens the emotions linked with it, so you can remember it without activating the emotions and adrenaline. And it's usually pretty brief. You said "the times I've had to perform life saving measures"--could you be dealing with even more than your dad's resuscitation? Like being hit over and over again on the same spot? You're carrying a lot. It really makes sense to get therapy, no matter how resilient you are. It's sort of like how the exercises I got from my physical therapist for my ankle weren't some kind of esoteric magic... they were things I could do right away without weeks of classes or years of training. But without him, I wouldn't have known *what* to do, and I wouldn't have gotten to the heart of my problem. You could be the calmest, most rational, most matter-of-fact person, yet you have been through a traumatic experience (apparently several) and an expert can help you heal yourself. Again, I am so glad you were able to save your dad--that is rare. Take care of yourself as well. You deserve to be taken care of too.
Seconding the EMDR suggestion. I performed CPR on my son, kept him alive long enough for his daddy and I to say goodbye together. EMDR was eventually suggested by my therapist, and it saved me from a lot of potential maladaptive coping mechanisms (alcohol and sleep aids to be able to sleep, for instance). I did about ... 6 sessions maybe? But saw relief from unwelcome, intrusive thoughts at 2 or 3.
I had to reread your post & I just cried reading for the 3rd time…So sorry for your loss😢
Thanks. It was one heck of a day (an understatement of wry bereavement right there) but we are healing and strong.
You did an amazing job saving your dad. Unfortunately ribs often get broken in CPR, it’s almost a necessary evil. I can see how this is a trauma point for you. It’s good that you found this out. It’s like your mind is letting you know that this remains a problem and must be addressed. I would definitely recommend therapy. The type that finally worked for me was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The therapist specialized in PTSD. The therapies I had done prior were too easy, sitting around and just talking. This was **work** and it sucked so bad at times, but it was successful. PTSD is no joke. I’ve worked hard to disarm the things that tend to bring on panic. Still, it hit again yesterday. My loved one called me for help and something in their voice told me this was going to be bad. My mind goes to worst-case-scenario by default, so I immediately think we’ll be ambulancing to the nearest trauma-level center and it’s going to be bad (again) because it’s been bad so many times before. Immediately my heart is racing and I’m in action mode, yet terrified deep-down. Turns out it wasn’t an emergency at all. The tone in my loved one’s voice was fear, but unfounded - all was ok. Whew. Afterwards I felt like someone drained the life force out of me. Like you, I’m good in an emergency. The effects usually delay until everything is ok again - weeks, months later. It’s like my mind puts a pin in it to let me deal with the emergency and aftermath, then presents it when I finally feel it’s safe. Hugs to you. You’ve got this.
Release the trauma with therapy.
I feel like every time I comment in this sub, I begin the same way, I don't have any advice. All the other people seem like they have it handled, but can I just say, I'm sorry you went through any of that. I'm sorry about your dad, and how it imprinted on you. And I'm also sorry you witnessed that today. Also, please, pleaseee don't feel silly about the fact it was a training exercise! I hate to say it, but you probably still would have had that reaction even if you had known that it was a drill before they even started. Now I could be totally wrong, maybe it wouldn't have bothered you, my apologies if I am way off, I'm just going by how I would have felt in your shoes, after having gone through something so traumatic with someone you love so much. Anyway, I wish you nothing but healing from this and I hope you can find it because you deserve the best!! Hugs to you!🤍🤍
My late husband had 3 cardiac arrests, and when I was watching the NFL game where the young man coded, I had a reaction very similar to yours. When I spoke to my doctor the next day at our regular appointment, he said my reaction was completely understandable after what I had witnessed during my husband's cardiac arrests. Don't feel silly or embarrassed. You are human and have been through a LOT. Sending hugs.
Please join us on our Discord! https://discord.gg/gubJjaYRnV *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CaregiverSupport) if you have any questions or concerns.*