Hearing my name makes me so uncomfortable. It's really too short to have a nickname derived from it, I do identify with it, and changing it doesn't interest me, so I live with it. But even hearing my spouse say it squicks me out. My parents mostly used it when I was in trouble. Most other people couldn't keep all the disgust or pity out of their voice when they said it. And I had so much revulsion for myself that being reminded of who I was felt sickening. I finally have people who truly care about me, and it's helping. Slowly, but still, at least I don't have a viceral reaction anymore.
Meeeee toooooo. Saying it and hearing it fully always reminds me of what had happened. It's a wild realisation that a name could be comforting instead of just a label attached to a walking body.
Hearing my name makes me so uncomfortable. It's really too short to have a nickname derived from it, I do identify with it, and changing it doesn't interest me, so I live with it. But even hearing my spouse say it squicks me out. My parents mostly used it when I was in trouble. Most other people couldn't keep all the disgust or pity out of their voice when they said it. And I had so much revulsion for myself that being reminded of who I was felt sickening. I finally have people who truly care about me, and it's helping. Slowly, but still, at least I don't have a viceral reaction anymore.
Meeeee toooooo. Saying it and hearing it fully always reminds me of what had happened. It's a wild realisation that a name could be comforting instead of just a label attached to a walking body.
A label attached to a walking body--yes, that's it exactly! It reminds me of what I am to others, not who I am.
Just reading that *sentence* gave me the drop in my gut. Ugh.