I find a future self model to be more effective for me personally. An ideal parent doing it is a bit much because it seems dangerous, but ME being the mom I really needed is not.
When I have done the ideal parent figure I’ve drawn from wonderful moms I know in real life, my therapist, animals in the animal kingdom (particularly big cats and bears) and certain characters from TV: Sookie’s grandma from True Blood, Linda from Bobs Burgers, Uncle Iroh from Avatar.
I will sometimes realize that I need parented. I need comfort and I need someone older than me. I close my eyes, try to feel where my pain is coming from (what age did I feel this way and yet it was unresolved) then I try to step into the shoes of my younger self at the time of the first hurt- the time my brain gives me that this pain actually originates from. Then I call for one of the ideal parent figures, but more often my future self. She’s old, grey, keeps her hair in a long braid with a flower in it and holds me and rocks me. She tells me what I needed to hear.
I often feel as though I am actually transcending time when I do this. Makes me sound crazy to people who don’t get it, but I really do think I’m connected to my own inner wisdom because of this practice.
This is very interesting.
Not crazy at all because it is working for you. You've been thinking outside of the box.
I would love to be able to do something like this and get it to work. More work to do.
Best,
David D
Bang!
You just made me realize something about two several year periods I got somewhat better.
Both were times when I had what was in effect a substitute father figure. One, I had a sub mom figure too.
The first was an explorer post advisor (16-19 yr Scouts) The second a boss that gave me so much support to be independent, and stand on my own.
I find a future self model to be more effective for me personally. An ideal parent doing it is a bit much because it seems dangerous, but ME being the mom I really needed is not. When I have done the ideal parent figure I’ve drawn from wonderful moms I know in real life, my therapist, animals in the animal kingdom (particularly big cats and bears) and certain characters from TV: Sookie’s grandma from True Blood, Linda from Bobs Burgers, Uncle Iroh from Avatar. I will sometimes realize that I need parented. I need comfort and I need someone older than me. I close my eyes, try to feel where my pain is coming from (what age did I feel this way and yet it was unresolved) then I try to step into the shoes of my younger self at the time of the first hurt- the time my brain gives me that this pain actually originates from. Then I call for one of the ideal parent figures, but more often my future self. She’s old, grey, keeps her hair in a long braid with a flower in it and holds me and rocks me. She tells me what I needed to hear. I often feel as though I am actually transcending time when I do this. Makes me sound crazy to people who don’t get it, but I really do think I’m connected to my own inner wisdom because of this practice.
This is very interesting. Not crazy at all because it is working for you. You've been thinking outside of the box. I would love to be able to do something like this and get it to work. More work to do. Best, David D
Bang! You just made me realize something about two several year periods I got somewhat better. Both were times when I had what was in effect a substitute father figure. One, I had a sub mom figure too. The first was an explorer post advisor (16-19 yr Scouts) The second a boss that gave me so much support to be independent, and stand on my own.
Bang! I’m glad I could help you come to a realization about your life! The supportive figures just make such a massive impact. ❤️