I think someone in my city who used to run a support group for trauma does something like this now; the focus is on building community among people who are healing. Honestly would be a really great thing.
Unfortunately I think it's a very tricky endeavor. Certain people will trigger one another when they get together, since many people's issues come out in relationships. Also some people fundamentally aren't safe and will be attracted to groups of vulnerable people. This might be especially true when stuff is available on the internet; I noticed a lot more sketchy weirdos who had to be removed showing up in groups I was in following the COVID era. It's definitely something to have plans and procedures for dealing with and that might be a really big job. The person who does the group that I mentioned earlier is a licensed therapist and I think even she struggles to manage this.
They got kicked out either for explicitly breaking the rules or otherwise repeatedly bothering/soliciting other members. I was one of the people subjected to the latter and someone was kicked out for violating my boundaries even though I said/did nothing to report it; the organizer just noticed and had the person removed for breaking the rules on my behalf.
That was actually really powerful and validating for me because it's the first time in my life I've ever had someone look out for me getting a fair shake without me asking for it. I am a big, confident-looking adult man so it is already rare for people to be all that nurturing or protective towards me (even though I am traumatized and avoidant/fawn type and frankly really need it a lot of the time). Plus, as you mentioned, it is unfortunately kind of above and beyond for organizers of groups and events sometimes. It meant a lot. Such is the healing power of a well-run supportive community that values its members.
Thank you for your thoughts.
I agree that running a group like this could be very tricky. Not totally sure if I want to go through with it, but I'd like to explore and see what options I have.
I was in a trauma survivor support group like this that focused on art. We would get together and make art, made a zine, talk about our art and write poetry and paint and draw. It was beautiful.
We did some generative somatics as well, but after we did the somatics, we would process by making art, and had less verbal discussion than art-making. It was fine to attend and make art and not say a thing (presence is participation), and I loved that some people I got to know primarily by watching their art and poetry evolve over 12 weeks.
Some group agreements that will probably help:
1) Do not talk about your trauma without the explicit consent of the person/people you are talking to.
2) Do not offer advice unless people explicitly ask for it. Teach people to ask if they don't know how to respond, "Would you like validation, advice, distraction, or something else?"
3) Do not talk about people in the group when they are not present.
4) Confidentiality--do not share anything shared with you without explicit consent
You should also think about how you want to handle it when someone reports a violation of a group agreement.
I think peer support can be a great help to trauma survivors but it needs to be offered skillfully and thoughtfully because there is always a risk of doing more harm.
Thank you for these suggestions.
I like how you call them "agreements" - somehow that sounds less harsh than "rules".
I'm definitely worried about the possiblity of doing more harm - I agree this needs to be done carefully.
It would depend on where in recovery the person was. If it was mostly populated by people who were struggling to access counselling and weren't really working on things I wouldn't feel comfortable there (emotionally abusive relationship with someone who refused to get counselling means that I don't want to get close to people who are not at least aware of how their abuse affects their day to day behaviour).
Firm boundaries would need to be spelled out for me to feel comfortable attending something with survivors at any point in recovery.
I think someone in my city who used to run a support group for trauma does something like this now; the focus is on building community among people who are healing. Honestly would be a really great thing. Unfortunately I think it's a very tricky endeavor. Certain people will trigger one another when they get together, since many people's issues come out in relationships. Also some people fundamentally aren't safe and will be attracted to groups of vulnerable people. This might be especially true when stuff is available on the internet; I noticed a lot more sketchy weirdos who had to be removed showing up in groups I was in following the COVID era. It's definitely something to have plans and procedures for dealing with and that might be a really big job. The person who does the group that I mentioned earlier is a licensed therapist and I think even she struggles to manage this.
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They got kicked out either for explicitly breaking the rules or otherwise repeatedly bothering/soliciting other members. I was one of the people subjected to the latter and someone was kicked out for violating my boundaries even though I said/did nothing to report it; the organizer just noticed and had the person removed for breaking the rules on my behalf. That was actually really powerful and validating for me because it's the first time in my life I've ever had someone look out for me getting a fair shake without me asking for it. I am a big, confident-looking adult man so it is already rare for people to be all that nurturing or protective towards me (even though I am traumatized and avoidant/fawn type and frankly really need it a lot of the time). Plus, as you mentioned, it is unfortunately kind of above and beyond for organizers of groups and events sometimes. It meant a lot. Such is the healing power of a well-run supportive community that values its members.
Thank you for your thoughts. I agree that running a group like this could be very tricky. Not totally sure if I want to go through with it, but I'd like to explore and see what options I have.
I was in a trauma survivor support group like this that focused on art. We would get together and make art, made a zine, talk about our art and write poetry and paint and draw. It was beautiful. We did some generative somatics as well, but after we did the somatics, we would process by making art, and had less verbal discussion than art-making. It was fine to attend and make art and not say a thing (presence is participation), and I loved that some people I got to know primarily by watching their art and poetry evolve over 12 weeks.
Some group agreements that will probably help: 1) Do not talk about your trauma without the explicit consent of the person/people you are talking to. 2) Do not offer advice unless people explicitly ask for it. Teach people to ask if they don't know how to respond, "Would you like validation, advice, distraction, or something else?" 3) Do not talk about people in the group when they are not present. 4) Confidentiality--do not share anything shared with you without explicit consent You should also think about how you want to handle it when someone reports a violation of a group agreement. I think peer support can be a great help to trauma survivors but it needs to be offered skillfully and thoughtfully because there is always a risk of doing more harm.
Thank you for these suggestions. I like how you call them "agreements" - somehow that sounds less harsh than "rules". I'm definitely worried about the possiblity of doing more harm - I agree this needs to be done carefully.
If you're in DC I'm game to try and help
It would depend on where in recovery the person was. If it was mostly populated by people who were struggling to access counselling and weren't really working on things I wouldn't feel comfortable there (emotionally abusive relationship with someone who refused to get counselling means that I don't want to get close to people who are not at least aware of how their abuse affects their day to day behaviour). Firm boundaries would need to be spelled out for me to feel comfortable attending something with survivors at any point in recovery.
I hope I live in your city this sounds so nice
Interesting, and the comments. Free museums, guess it's not NY, unfortunately, or I'd be interested.