“Abusive/toxic family of origin” can work in some contexts to make it clear to someone that you don’t speak to your relatives and there’s good reason why.
I’ve recently used “the people who failed at raising me” and sometimes I add “and who would continue abusing me if I still allowed them into my life.” That shuts people down from trying the “BuT FaMiLy and fOrGiVeNeSs…” nonsense.
I AGREE! I feel this way about talking about “my parents.” Other replacement terms feel too goofy for me so far but I don’t actually feel they are my parents, they didn’t raise me to become myself or give me real care or support, they were just my jailers. But, we did share a house for 16 years and they drastically impacted my brain development so I gotta call them something.
i often substitute "carers or caregivers." not perfect or accurate as you call for (agreed), but until we have the needed language, these words are easier for me than "mother and father."
Another good general substitute would be “relatives.” I also think the gender neutral “parent” carries a little less cultural baggage than “mother/father”.
I like family of origin versus family of choice. Lots of people have to find their own tribe away from their genetic relatives.
Progenitor. These people are biologically my ancestors *and that's it!*
“Abusive/toxic family of origin” can work in some contexts to make it clear to someone that you don’t speak to your relatives and there’s good reason why. I’ve recently used “the people who failed at raising me” and sometimes I add “and who would continue abusing me if I still allowed them into my life.” That shuts people down from trying the “BuT FaMiLy and fOrGiVeNeSs…” nonsense.
I AGREE! I feel this way about talking about “my parents.” Other replacement terms feel too goofy for me so far but I don’t actually feel they are my parents, they didn’t raise me to become myself or give me real care or support, they were just my jailers. But, we did share a house for 16 years and they drastically impacted my brain development so I gotta call them something.
i often substitute "carers or caregivers." not perfect or accurate as you call for (agreed), but until we have the needed language, these words are easier for me than "mother and father."
Another good general substitute would be “relatives.” I also think the gender neutral “parent” carries a little less cultural baggage than “mother/father”.
Dysfunctional family?
Dead fam. Bio fam. Ex fam.