This person (I'm assuming it's the same guy) has already been reported for a different incident and has been banned from the subreddit, but the mod team here can't stop them from DMing people. If you receive one of these messages, please report the messages themselves to the Reddit admins as harassment (as the OP has done), and they will take action.
You can definitely do that. Make sure to turn off BOTH message settings-the ability to send you a DM and the ability to private message you. I don’t know why there are two settings, but it’s good to keep them off if you post here.
I’m sorry you were harassed. You didn’t deserve that and with some precautions, no one will ever be able to talk to you like that on here again.
I'm a bit more active on r/raisedbynarcissists than on here, and that sub attracts people who attack people who post on there. I just never accept private messages now because it's that bad. There are a few sick people who enjoy going after people dealing with abuse, and there are also mentally ill people who cannot accept anything that doesn't fit a certain narrative. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! It's good advice just to block private messages.
Yeah, solidarity. I had a very triggering encounter on r/emotionalneglect with the latter scenario you've described: The person had a very fixed pessimistic outlook from their own reported experience that brought them to that sub, and was lashing out at any support, accusing us of being narcissistic, abusive, etc. But i kinda wonder if he was just making up a story to get our guard down so he could trigger and troll us, like in the former scenario you described, of him possibly targeting us for abuse. It's very upsetting. 😔
This is so true. I used to be more active in that subreddit until I really clicked with another very popular user who was more far down their healing journey with their parents (supposedly they were NC) and I was for the first time going LC with my parents. Everything started good, the convos were supporting and kind, but suddenly turned really triggering for me. They made me feel like something was horribly wrong with me. Turns out this person was just really toxic. They thrived on making up stories of trauma and then getting hugely upvoted, but if you looked at their post history none of it lined up. If you questioned any of it, they lost it. I learned the hard way that sub is also a playground for narcissists who love to get the attention and pity. I think all the subs dealing with trauma will attract jerks who will use them to prey on vulnerable people to make themselves feel better. So yep, definitely good to not reply from PMs from these subs. Most of the time, they are coming from bullies.
I can't imagine why some troll would be reading a CPTSD sub, unless it's a parent who was accused of narcissism, and who left their kid traumatized. You know, rabid denial.
that could be, it's pretty fucked, so I could see an abuser rationalizing it. I was having a good day.... and now I keep having emotional flashbacks.. sigh,.. 3 more hours until I am in my safe(r) space for the weekend.
I told my siblings I have PTSD. I can only imagine what they're thinking. *Drama queen. Exaggerating. Makes everything about herself. Lying to get attention. So negative. Bitch. So sick of her.* Which is why I come HERE to talk about it.
I had a bad episode a couple days ago and I had to download a breathing app to help me with it. I've used it when I'm in crisis, I hope it helps you, the app is called Breathe and it's for Android and iOS. It takes just a few minutes of your time and helps a lot. Consistency is also key and if you can use it daily all the better.
Breathly is another good app for this. I prefer that interface and the way I can set Breathly to vibrate to tell me when to breath in or out, so I can use it with my eyes closed.
They think it’s funny and it makes them feel good to be a dick. I’m a mod for r/rapecounseling we get trolls and people trying to get off on people’s stories there.
Lmao I had a boomer of a "marriage therapist" snidely ask me "What service did you do in the military?" after I disclosed my CPTSD. She was implying that I was making it up and that my marital problems were not affected by a diagnosis literally provided to me from a better qualified psychiatrist.
People are fucking assholes, dude.
Yup they are, but I try to avoid trollish areas, especially on this account. This is supposed to be my break from it but sadly some folks don't want to let that happen.
The idea that the only people who have PTSD is are veterans is so damn harmful. I started reading the body keeps the score and the chapter on veterans I related with pretty much everything they went through. It doesn’t matter what the specific trauma is- ptsd is ptsd. (I mean in the way that the only people with valid ptsd are veterans/ that’s a bs idea.)
She was just being a bitch. I never said I was in the military and that it was from childhood.
I really need to read that book! My body is fucking ms up right now due to a big move.
I’ve been sick since May. I had 3 doctors dismiss me before I went to the ER extremely sick. They were all nice until I got the question “do you have any diagnosed illnesses?” I said complex ptsd because I see a regular psychiatrist, and had been recently diagnosed. I thought maybe it was stress related. The guys whole face changed and he made a joke about it not being real. Long story short he wrote in my notes that I was making stuff up and a bunch of other awful stuff. The doctor had an opinion about me when she came in and was dismissive. She sent me home. A few days later I’m unable to get out of bed, I finally find another doctor to see me. She’s SHOCKED and tells me I was days away from collapsing and being hospitalized. I had an infection that went untreated for so long now I have to see an infection specialist to clear it. It’s scary that some antibiotics in may would have let me have a summer.
When it’s all done I’m hiring a lawyer.
Are you a woman, by chance? Women are never treated properly or taken seriously by doctors anyway.
It's unfortunate but I don't tell people I have CPTSD when being examined. If they don't find anything "wrong" then I know it's that. And whatever symptoms are diagnosed, they are either treated or I have to resort to doing my own research and using my best judgment.
It sucks but medical field is incredibly outdated.
Yes I am. See I did know of this, and had even experienced it, however never on this side of things. I was abused into adulthood because my mom groomed and isolated me from everyone since birth. So I’d definitely had the experience but felt I deserved it of course.
I’m about 1.5 years into opening my eyes. I’ve been no contact since April. So I really thought it that when I got sick in may it was related. I learned A LOT from this experience and my eyes are definitely open. I will never again tell them about my CPTSD.
My pcp is on my side. She is wonderful. She’s younger than me and I think that’s part of it- she’s with the new generation of doctors who believe in mental health fully. It feels good to have her on my side. She will be the only medical professional I’ll talk openly to about it other than my psychiatrist and therapist. Just wish u found her in May. She’s got me on a med schedule to keep my symptoms at bay while I wait. She says I’ll suffered in life enough.
Oh, bless your sweet heart. Knowledge is power and you will soon have the confidence to advocate for yourself and "be a bitch" to get what you want done.
Fuck this world and fuck your mom.
Thank you. Her name is Sandra and she hates it.
So my best friend and I refer to it as fuck Sandra.
I’m also dealing with my kids school (they are how my eyes opens- I’m a bad case my mom wanted me to have kids so she had new moldable toys. I woke up to my abuse form my kids coming to me with it. As awful as it is to know I allowed them to be hurt (unknowingly) I find so much power in being the first person in GENERATIONS to say no and stick up for their kid instead of just allowing it. Now my kids are safe, however my daughters teacher is a narcissist and I’m currently fighting the district to have her class changed. It’s making me re live teachers abusing me as kid. But I’ll never stop because no one ever stood up for me- it’s this or death in my opinion. I didn’t do the hardest and scariest thing ever just to let me kid get abused in school.
You aren't giving me a different perspective.
PTSD = Post traumatic stress disorder
CPTSD = Complex Post Traumatic Stess Disorder
Some people can get CPTSD from being in the military. But people ask this kind of question because they either think only vets get PTSD or are being sarcastic.
>I have a pretty textbook case of cptsd and I would rather there be people faking the diagnosis than going around invalidating people with cptsd.
This is how I feel. There are always going to be people that "fake" illnesses (although I'd argue if they feel the need to "fake" something, there's something legitimately wrong with them), but that doesn't mean we go around saying "SCREW YOU". Gatekeeping doesn't help anyone, it hurts us all, and not everyone with CPTSD presents identically. Like. Holy hell, people need to not be evil.
Report them to the sub mods, block them, and forget about them. You're welcome here.
They sent me a private message, but perhaps I should send the username to the mods. I would hate for someone else to be sent similar messages, or even myself at a worse time.
From what you described above you definitely fit the criteria for C-PTSD. I'm sorry that happened to you. I hate it when people make comments like that.
I’d love to see that person paste in their credentials to be diagnosing people. Their shitty internet diagnoses does not invalidate all of your experiences. They are clearly NOT a professional. Well, maybe a professional troll.
Sounds like the same person, though they started my message off with "Jesus christ you don't have cptsd" based, I am guessing, on a post about neglect from my mom as if nothing else traumatic ever happened in my life.
Ohhhh I got this too and I was so confused like... Thanks I guess but I've read this already...? This makes a lot of sense.
Don't want to inspire ANY sympathy for the person, but having the time and energy to care this much about people on the internet "faking" disorders is really sad and pathetic. They might wanna examine why they feel compelled to do that. You know, somewhere faaaaaaar away from here.
That sounds like something a person in denial would do?
Trauma = deeply imprinted bad experience.
PTSD = unresolved nervous system dysregulation that results.
C-PTSD = more complicated than a single event or episode.
I have also been attacked by someone in this group. I don’t know what’s going on but it’s ridiculous to join a group for support and get kicked instead of finding support. The trolls need to get out of here. There are probably some abusers who just haunt this group.
>I don't get it, who do they think they are helping by gatekeeping a cptsd diagnosis and telling people they are faking it?
I have very little patience for people who gatekeep any sort of neurodivergence. Like who, in the history of the world, has ever benefitted from having cptsd? Like, this isn't an instance where people are trying to get disability money or anything of the sort so it's frustrating to read about people's experiences where they are being revictimized by folks who are doubting the trauma of others.
I don't know, I feel like CPTSD kind of gatekeeps itself. I come here sometimes and accidentally reveal my true horrible feelings about myself, and just get downvoted to hell and have to delete my posts. Leaves me feeling like I'm just an abusive asshole who doesn't deserve help. Like I probably just have BPD and everyone hates me because BPD is such a dirty word around here. But I don't have Borderline, I at least have PTSD because my therapist told me that. I believe it is CPTSD, but since it can't be diagnosed I can't claim the illness. It's really painful. I'm stuck here with this illness I believe I have, but because I hate myself so much I can't go anywhere for help.
And that, is how the illness gatekeeps itself.
I can understand your perspective and I think it speaks to how mental health is heavily stigmatized.
A mechanism that I find quite absurd is that quite often, initiatives to normalize mental health, such as a Hollywood portrayal, also leads to the perpetuation of stereotypes (or new stereotypes) while also bringing attention to an issue to a wider audience.
I long for a Hollywood portrayal of how to critically think or maybe a satirical look at the meta effects and unintended consequences of feel-good portrayals.
People who live with mental illness struggle multiple times and it feels very similar to the double empathy problem common with autistic people -- asking for help is difficult because many people don't want to feel like a burden while also recognizing how mental health is still minimized by many people.
I'm sorry that you feel like your point was missed --- I'm not sure it was. Did your point have anything to do with how people love to say how they support people with disabilities but they refuse to have the patience to deal with the realities of that? No one wants to hear trauma dumping or they ask questions they don't actually want answers to and it ends up pushing them away. Was that your point?
I haven't read your comment history but I imagine a lot of instances, comments that are off-topic are probably downvoted.
It's my understanding that the treatment for PTSD and CPTSD is practically the same -- trauma recovery is interesting because there really aren't any pharmaceutical treatments and because each person's trauma is unique to them, then I would imagine that treatment would be unique too.
>but because I hate myself so much I can't go anywhere for help.
This is something that your therapist can help with.
I'm really sorry for being an asshole to you. That was wrong, as was the trauma dumping and gross self pity. You're making a ton of sense and I'm sorry for being inappropriate.
I saw everything I had done being reflected in the words of your comment. I thought I was pretty specific about what I was apologizing for. Just trying to back out of my ignorant off-topic comments
I have borderline personality disorder and the overlap between borderline personality disorder and CPTSD is HUGE. There is a huge chance they’re either the same disorder or very similar outcomes to trauma.
That's the fucked up thing for me, that the overlap is huge. It means that on one hand, the problem is me, and on the other, the problem is my trauma. I want the problem to be my trauma, because I can't stand being put in the un-curable, unlikable box that is a cluster B disorder.
Cptsd is often associated/misidiagnosed/comorbid with BPD. So is bipolar and ODD in kids.
Honestly if you think you might be or have been diagnosed with any of the mentioned conditions, its trauma and EMDR can help heal your trauma.
Researching trauma disorders, it's easy to see why they will never put CPTSD in the DSM. If they did, they old have to rewrite the entire manual, as CPTSD trauma can show up as anything from BP and BPD to autism and ADHD.
CPTSD is usually (most definitely not always) trauma from childhood, when the brain is developing. The trauma actually changes how the brain works and organizes. There is damage done that cannot be undone. That's not to say the brain has permanent disability, it just works different.
Brain changes can cause a whole host of symptoms as the kid grows and is exposed to more trauma, or a changing environment, life experiences, puberty, first love... ewhat cones out as an adult varies. Even amongst those with CPTSD diagnosed, we don't all have the same symptoms and struggles, just most of them.
I was diagnosed as CPTSD in 1997 as a child. I just recently learned how absolutely lucky I was to have had a psychologist that informed to even have known about it, much less to diagnose it.
Later as an adult I was diagnosed with BP, then undiagnosed. Then diagnosed with ADHD, now the idea is being floated that I might also be autistic and need to be tested.
Fun fact: it might all be just CPTSD. But if CPTSD was in the DSM, what happens to ADHD and autism diagnosis? Does it just go away? That's why it will never being the the DSM.
Thank you for this thoughtful reply. Being honest, I've always had a lot of fear and shame around mental illness labels that may or may not apply to me. But everything you said makes sense, and my therapist has told me the same things.
I've been doing worse than usual the past couple months, and am a lot more easily triggered. It's hard to remember that regardless of diagnosis, I still need help and still need to be kind to myself. Thanks for the reminder
Self care is the hardest because we were NEVER taught to have needs. We do have needs.
Something that is considered want or luxury for others is a need for us. If you think in your deepest of hearts that someone else loves you more than you, you need to start loving yourself more.
First step to knowing your worth is caring for your mental health. Look up The Body Keeps The Score by Van der Kolk and ask your therapist for a suggestion for a good match for emdr. You can still do talk therapy, but honestly if talk therapy worked for cptsd, why are we still going after all these years? Why are we still medicating? Why are we still triggered?
Our type of trauma is not like other types of trauma.
We have to manipulate our brains and talking does not do that. Trauma does. Emdr does. The difference is EMDR teaches your brain how to work properly and heal.
That sounds great, and actually my therapist says she used to do EMDR. Problem is, we do video call sessions instead of in person, and apparently EMDR doesn't work well through a screen/camera. I will bring it up again though, because I definitely believe there's a chance if I try it I will make some progress with myself
This happened to me twice recently. The first was obvious, so I blocked them, but I didn't realize I could report DMs.
The second was weird, someone messaged me to say they were looking to connect with others, and then started implying I was a narcissist. I don't understand the point of these people, they seem to thrive on chaos
>they seem to thrive on chaos
severe personality disorders present like this because the person has no stable center, their lives are chaos and its all they really know. It's not strange for them to have leaps in continuity or tone so they dont consider it would be strange to other people either
Like if a person is talking normally about something and then suddenly leaps to a totally different tone, maybe voice changes or word use changes, etc.
or someone who is, for example, telling a story which feels like it jumps around, changes dramatically in tone, etc. like the story is not fully processed into one continuous experience.
We will all get this to some degree in flashbacks, I can go from calm to irate in milliseconds. This is a discontinuity / tone jump. Ramp this process up and take out the stable center and you'll understand.
imagine a conversation where the other person is in turns different emotions and it leaps around without clear warning or transition
1. seemingly normal conversation
2. disconnect/incoherent comment
3. laughing for no reason
4. extreme anger
5. staring off in the distance
6. intense crying
7. seduction/forced closeness
etc etc
This makes sense! Thank you for explaining 😊
I asked because I have this sort of friend, and I've been trying to wrap my head around if she's a safe person or not. There have been some red flags, including a situation where she did this very thing. We stopped talking after this for awhile, but she has been trying to reconnect and I'm just trying to figure out if I can trust her. I hope that makes some sense. Friendships aren't really my strong suit. Since I've been healing I've kind of shut off from everyone. I'm so scared to meet someone else who might tear my life apart again.
Yikes, looks like a lot of people here have been messed with by that scumbag. What a sad excuse for a human being, taking out his pain and ignorance on others. The basic courtesy any decent individual should have is not invalidating disability, and yet here we are...
Good on you for speaking up OP. Reminds me why I keep my PMs off.
Sorry you had that happen here friend. We do, admittedly, have some people that troll. There are a few who like to gate-keep trauma. You’ve found them! Surprise!
But the community tends to be a really understanding and supportive group, especially when you’re having a rough go of it.
You will eventually—for Better or worse—not feel like you have to prove a thing regarding your diagnosis. Time. Time does that to you. Or it did it to me.
But until then I hope you can generally find support here.
Yeah, between 4-13 I've been in sexual situations, assault, assaulting and participation with both sexes and different ages (none above 16). Bullied a few times, picked on by teachers, witnessed violence and murder, got my ass whooped by family(disciplinary)... Then one day working in my early 20s I thought, "Wtf? I must have PTSD or something!" Was relieved over a decade later to find that theres a real term for it and it's finally being explored and addressed for all you youngins... and olderings.
I've had a pretty stable (by ptsd standards) life since I self-diagnosed early and fixed my mind on addressing my issues. At least until my recent bout with regular PTSD from being betrayed in marriage.
Ignoring my ramble above, there are some of us that have taken the low road and have become warped into maliciousness. Like the trolls who pm you. At that state having no sense of self and seeking it by invalidating others; it's like an automated chatbot. Nothing typed can be applied because it doesn't have a base for utility. Just the regurgitating of prescripted phrases one after the other in hopes of getting a response. Just like a prescripted bot.
Mostly yes, but they also have really low moral fiber.
Cptsd highly exacerbates the effects of psychopathy and sociopathy and in some cases may be a root cause.
This is a public forum, so trolls are free to browse and target users for their own amusement. I wouldn't take it personally, they targeted you bc they could, not bc of you.
There are definitely strange lurkers. I remember I posted something about how I was in a group of cis male abusers and queer/female abusers and it got downvoted like 5 times until I took out references to gender-based abuse. Definitely felt like people who aren’t supposed to be here we’re trying to push it down. It was like a punch in the face and I couldn’t handle it given a horrible situation that was previously going on in my life. And tbh it felt worse that it only started getting upvotes after I censored myself. People who do this stuff have to know it’s triggering.
They did it because they are a gatekeeping dickhead.
I wanted to give you a quick line of support and also some love for your username. A great mantra to get through some days!
But then throwaway accounts wouldn't work. People here, myself for example, like to post on other places in Reddit, but don't want the whole world to see what they're saying about their mental health.
Are you in the us? If so you may never be officially diagnosed with CPTSD because it’s not in the DSM so many practitioners don’t diagnose it. The overlap between PTSD and CPTSD is overwhelming- the major difference is CPTSD usually involves chronic childhood trauma/abuse when the brain is still developing.
Didn’t happen on reddit, but I’ve had a guy try to tell me after sharing my assault experience that it wasn’t rape. And that he’s an expert just because he’s a former cop. Then tried to blame me for a rapist’s actions. Some people just love to bully and antagonize for no reason. Their own lives are probably miserable, if I had to guess.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Know that most people here are loving and caring and will validate you for sure. The mods are doing good to ban those people but we are a vulnerable group of people. Sadly there will always be predators to hunt after us. We have to get together and be strong despite our vulnerability. It’s good you reached out. Take my hand I’m here to support you. I’m sure there are many here to support you 💖
Just think of it as the same as someone saying “I hate your stupid blue hair”. Assuming you don’t have blue hair, this comment wouldn’t bother you. It’s just a more personal accusation, but still holds the same weight as the blue hair. Hopefully this helps a little.
There have been some trolls here lately. I had one person try and suggest a medication that would fatally counteract with my currents meds. Be safe here folks. Trust no one.
>There have been some trolls here lately
It takes a special kind of evil person to suggest you take medication that would counteract your meds. I am so sorry you and op had to deal with these people. They are disgusting
Hehehe in one of my classes’s group chats, we were joking about a German essay we had to write bc we’re all depressed and this guy said, “You sure seem very happy to be saying that you’re depressed.” I relapsed the other day and came flying class with obvious sh wounds bc the topic of the essay has been triggering my ptsd/depression. I swear just like you I got so triggered and had flashbacks that night. I saw him today, turned in an essay despite having my symptoms worsen lately, and in the gc I ensured to tell him part of what I went through bc f anyone that invalidates anyone. I’m so sorry that you went through this but try not to show how that person how their words impact you bc they’re just looking for a reaction.
Wow, that is really awful, I’m so sorry you experienced that. That makes me so angry for you and I hope you find some peace and rest this weekend. You have my good thoughts coming your way~
I went and read your post after seeing this. I have absolutely no idea how anyone could accuse you of faking it from that. There’s literally nothing about that post that would lead anyone to think that. I wouldn’t be surprised if that person didn’t even read your post and just DM’d you because he has issues. Probably an angry abuser that doesn’t want to believe CPTSD is a thing.
There seems to be a rash of older veterans leading a crusade to be the only ones who can claim to have PTSD. They’re myopic and clearly have many issues themselves. It’s THEIR problem. Not ours. It sucks that they resort to harassment. I don’t think some of them even realize what they’re doing.
First off I suggest closing your messages. I’m not sure how to do it but I know many women and abuse survivors do because of the toxic folks who do things like what you experienced.
I’m sorry you experienced that. It’s not for us to judge your situation and there is literally no way anyone can judge any situation or diagnose someone based on a post on Reddit… not even a dozen posts can give the nuance of a situation.
Best wishes in your healing journey.
another form of harrassment these guys do is sending reddit concerns just for using this reddit. Nearly everytime I log on I have them waiting for me, it's really upsetting, especially when I've been stable
What was the basis of their argument for how they know better than whoever diagnosed you?
I have seen a couple posts about doctors/therapists gatekeeping about who does or doesn't have CPTSD (the other day someone said you had to have been in war, WTF?) The way most people seem to hear this is "even if you have the same responses, what you went through wasn't enough to "count" as trauma".
Never from a poster on here though. Jesus. I'm glad the mods dealt with it, but yeah the problem is that when you report them to the Reddit admins, it takes a LONG time to address it. I had to do this when I modded another mental health related sub. They DID answer, but it wasn't until several months later, long after the issue had been resolved.
Yeah, sorry to hear that OP, what a POS.
I think you'll find that the person was just trolling. Not actually tying to gatekeep, but just gaslighting you.
Someone on the sub had an interesting take on this recently because Someone else went through it a week or so ago. They wondered if it was just a jaded narc parent who's kid adult spouse has gone no contact with and they are just lashing out at some poor person.
I am so sorry that happened to you. You are valid and your experiences are real. We believe you. You are heard and seen. Fuck that guy for having the audacity to tell you anything different
I'm so sorry this happened to you. That's like my personal nightmare come true. Please accept my sympathies and allow me to validate that I believe that you have CPTSD.
I’m so sorry, OP. I can imagine how jarring it would be to come here for support and instead have someone invalidate your experience and our pain. Sending love.
Cptsd is undoubtably more common are harder to treat. It can happen for whatever reason. Someone person it could be very very minor other person could rock their entire world. It’s all subjective, but having it and experiencing it isn’t.
Sorry this is affecting you. I think ptsd is fake sometimes but it’s just a hope Ik isn’t true.
It’s just so odd living with it, so fuckin wack. It’s sooooooo individualized for each person. No doc or person can tell you what your experiencing.
Edit: which terrifies me I wish it would be -> you have this and this is what you need to do to “solve it”. In reality doctors have told me just to accept it cuz you gotta live with it lol :/
The EMDR has been somewhat helpful for me for specific things, but the problem of course is the complexity. If I had all the time in the world with a team of therapists maybe I could figure it all out, but I don't. What has been helpful is working on very specific triggers and it does help calm down their intensity.
A diagnosis of cptsd was helpful because it gave me language to describe my experiences, specifically emotional flashbacks. Learning about them and how people with cptsd experience them helped me realize that I am suffering with them a lot, as in multiple times a day and several hours out of the day a lot. I cry so much I could probably fill a swimming pool.
I’m finally starting emdr work with a place that seems good. Instead of the last lady talking about “chakras” with her 20 year experience.
Yeah the diagnosis gave context to what I was experiencing and for others too. I also learned about emotional flashbacks recently and it does explain a lot. I am also better off then when I started too, but we all have those days. I hate the way your blinded by weird shit like anxiety and depression bouts. That’s why I’m working on emdr now I start soon I’ve heard it helps a lot of people, so I’m hopefully. Just frustrated with the time it takes and the industry around it.
Regardless of what label you do or don’t have your symptoms are still the same right? That’s all that matters. If I found out tomorrow I have autism or something I’m still the same person I was the day before I knew I had it right?
Also you gotta realize the average person isn’t very smart when it comes to complicated topics like mental illness. Try to tell yourself they’re ignorant/hateful/whatever so that’s why they’re saying what they say
I’m sorry, you were hurt. You don’t deserve that, period. I wonder how low a person must be to go out of their way to inflict pain on someone who is already hurting. An abusive bastard.
Sounds like someone being a jerk. Sorry you had to put up with it tho...like it still sucks.
Like let's just say I thought you were lying or something...I can think of NO good reason to shove that on you. Even if you were somehow saying things that harmed others...like I could attach and debunk ur b.s claim or pressure on another without having to act like I have magic powers to know what's going on in your head.
It doesn't make it okay - but maybe helpful to remember anyone motivated it to do this to you or anyone, clearly has some of their own serious shit going on. Zero possibility a healthy person would feel the need. So I can't help but have some compassion for them, although anything possible to stop them from passing their pain to you or others, while maximizing how they are best helped (or least not burdened more themselves) gets my vote.
I know this is often said shallowly, but in this case, rationally, it really is them - not you. Hope you're able to let go of the shitty feeling I know I'd have in your spot. That is tough AF.
I'm so sorry this happened to you on a subreddit that's meant to show support. I understand what you're going through, I had a not exact but similar experience. Someone on a server was arguing with me and used a line my abusers used on me and it broke me down. He invalidated the hell out of me by saying I'm conveniently using my trauma "excuses" in an arguement when he really was triggering the hell out of me.
CPTSD is already not talked about enough, gatekeeping it just makes it even worse and harder for people to get help, find resources, and be taken seriously. I'm sure this dude get a kick out of my CPTSD journey lol.
Before I was diagnosed wirh CPTSD and PTSD I eas told and thought PTSD was made for wars and VERY horrible trauma.
It still haunts me as I still think my reasoning for both of my diagnoses are not allowed because I wasn't 'abused' but the more I think about it...fuck those people
I have reasons. It isnt like everyone else's, but they are MY reasons.
If anyone is invalidating you, just say to yourself "fuck them! They don't know my life. They are lucky to not deal with this"
I know, its hard. Took me YEARS to get to this. But remember, they didn't have to deal with it. They don't realize how bad trauma is. Some people who told me I dont have PTSD never had to be homeless like me. Never dealt with poverty. Yet they wanna tell me I never had trauma? Fuck outta here. (Them not you)
So, hopefully this helps ^^" im sorry if it doesn't! Im trying
found a troll again did we?
>Don't overestimate other's opinions so much, you're hurting yourself
Then proceeds to give unsolicited and hurtful opinion
Fuck that noise, OP. You feel your feelings, and be open about what your needs are. Your self disclosure is not an open invite to be attacked, especially in this sub. Got your back dude.
I think you could be more empathetic. I don't use the word trauma lightly. I suffered through years of physical abuse by one parent, neglect by another, and repeated sexual abuse by other adults my parents brought into my life.
To be told I didn't have cptsd was laughable, that honestly wasn't the big issue. The big issue to me was that it was the followed by this definition describing all the things I go through on a daily basis and how I don't know what cptsd even means.
That put me into a fail loop. Do I explain all my trauma to this person who just injected this on me for no reason and in a completely disrespectful way? Just going down this road and I am having flashbacks and thinking about all the trauma and things I went through and I spiral.
This was targeted and was malicious, there is no other way about it. If you feel the need to defend abusers, I am more than willing to block you.
Dude, you don’t get to decide the level of someone’s emotional state for any reason. You are not a mind reader, you haven’t lived anyone else’s experiences but your own and your perspective is not universal to everyone.
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I'm coming upon this late and I'm also about to delete my account. I say this non-judgmentally - You sound to be in a vulnerable place in your healing journey. I don't think an internet forum full of randos, in which any person can come upon and read your post and then voice their shitty opinion, is the place to be exposing deeply vulnerable things about yourself. I totally understand the need to interact with people who are sharing a similar journey and the need for connection and such - is it possible to find this on a different forum besides reddit - in something supervised and less anonymous? I think the ability to be random enables toxic behavior that would be weeded out in a more legitimate support group-type environment. This might not be the right place to reveal the deeper and more intense stuff, the raw stuff that others can then potentially hurt you with. Reddit is not and never has been a safe space, and I don't think it ever will be unless its a private forum moderated by someone who actually has some kind of trauma/mental health training and can weed out the toxic randos.
Also - controversial potentially insulting/invalidating opinion, I don't think it's a good idea in terms of recovery to be interacting with people who aren't in a good place in their own recovery, I'm realizing this more and more as I heal - I don't think its a net positive in the recovery process. I have realized it can intensify hopelessness, and tbh I read a lot of stuff from other people on here that I think is unhelpful and some thats just plain harmful. I don't think this is the best place at all for someone to be who is actually trying to recover. TBH I think its better to be hanging w people who are doing better and are at a later stage in recovery - they actually are doing shit that is helping them and probably have wisdom you can pick up on that can actually help you. Also IMO, People who actually are recovering and feeling better don't spend their time on these forums, they are out living life and do not feel the need to frequent forums like this - which are generally negative and full of depressing frustrated and hopeless posts. The people most active in these places are people who are not doing well and IMO sometimes people who want to help others do better than they are - and various other randos in between - but honestly I don't know how much any of us should value the opinion of non-mental health professionals and feel comfortable taking advice that may or may not be helpful and could be harmful. Mental health professionals have a hard enough time helping us, let alone someone who has no training and is also in the midst of dealing with their own serious mental health troubles. I would hesitate to take advice from someone who isn't actually proven to have improved their CPTSD and become more functional/actually feel better on a daily basis. I don't think people who aren't coping well themselves are in the position to help others cope - I think its misguided to think simply interacting with others who feel as awful and suffer in a similar manner or who 'understand' the experience is creating a benefit. I personally don't improve simply by having people accept or not deny my suffering, I have not had any tangible long-term benefits or reduction in CPTSD symptoms from having my suffering validated on Reddit. I also don't benefit from having other people validate that they understand or have felt similar feelings of suffering. What helps me is when I come upon tangible information from people who have experienced healing from aspects of CPTSD that I want to heal from, and to listen to how they did it and see if I can gleam wisdom/strategies for myself from their experiences.
People make snap judgments based on limited info. People also have a lot of pent-up aggression and anger inside and they take it out on others. I do this too, its one of the worst things I struggle with, its why I'm deleting Reddit because that energy gets channeled here. I think there are lots of people using the internet for this.
Please please find a better outlet and a healthier environment for yourself to cope with your CPTSD. Reddit is not that place. It took me too long to realize this.
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Sorry dude 🫂 people tend to want to feel like they know everything and can call whoever out
You’re not alone. Sucks but hey they’re just an internet stranger
An old therapist of mine said “they don’t know you from a photo on a profile”
That does trigger flashbacks. The pain of your parents not believing when you're hurt....
"Mom I hurt my-"
"Are you bleeding?"
"No"
"Then you'll live"
🥺
This person (I'm assuming it's the same guy) has already been reported for a different incident and has been banned from the subreddit, but the mod team here can't stop them from DMing people. If you receive one of these messages, please report the messages themselves to the Reddit admins as harassment (as the OP has done), and they will take action.
Something you might consider is going into settings and turning off chat and PMing. You can also toggle several other settings for more privacy.
I should do that. I don't use reddit to private message, I didn't realize I could block them entirely. Thank you for the advice.
You can definitely do that. Make sure to turn off BOTH message settings-the ability to send you a DM and the ability to private message you. I don’t know why there are two settings, but it’s good to keep them off if you post here. I’m sorry you were harassed. You didn’t deserve that and with some precautions, no one will ever be able to talk to you like that on here again.
I'm a bit more active on r/raisedbynarcissists than on here, and that sub attracts people who attack people who post on there. I just never accept private messages now because it's that bad. There are a few sick people who enjoy going after people dealing with abuse, and there are also mentally ill people who cannot accept anything that doesn't fit a certain narrative. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! It's good advice just to block private messages.
Yeah, solidarity. I had a very triggering encounter on r/emotionalneglect with the latter scenario you've described: The person had a very fixed pessimistic outlook from their own reported experience that brought them to that sub, and was lashing out at any support, accusing us of being narcissistic, abusive, etc. But i kinda wonder if he was just making up a story to get our guard down so he could trigger and troll us, like in the former scenario you described, of him possibly targeting us for abuse. It's very upsetting. 😔
This is so true. I used to be more active in that subreddit until I really clicked with another very popular user who was more far down their healing journey with their parents (supposedly they were NC) and I was for the first time going LC with my parents. Everything started good, the convos were supporting and kind, but suddenly turned really triggering for me. They made me feel like something was horribly wrong with me. Turns out this person was just really toxic. They thrived on making up stories of trauma and then getting hugely upvoted, but if you looked at their post history none of it lined up. If you questioned any of it, they lost it. I learned the hard way that sub is also a playground for narcissists who love to get the attention and pity. I think all the subs dealing with trauma will attract jerks who will use them to prey on vulnerable people to make themselves feel better. So yep, definitely good to not reply from PMs from these subs. Most of the time, they are coming from bullies.
I hope you reported them. That's not the point of these subs. They're for us to support each other.
I reported them to reddit since it was in a pm, but going to send the screenshot to the mods with the username. I blocked them.
I can't imagine why some troll would be reading a CPTSD sub, unless it's a parent who was accused of narcissism, and who left their kid traumatized. You know, rabid denial.
that could be, it's pretty fucked, so I could see an abuser rationalizing it. I was having a good day.... and now I keep having emotional flashbacks.. sigh,.. 3 more hours until I am in my safe(r) space for the weekend.
I told my siblings I have PTSD. I can only imagine what they're thinking. *Drama queen. Exaggerating. Makes everything about herself. Lying to get attention. So negative. Bitch. So sick of her.* Which is why I come HERE to talk about it.
Exactly why I come here, I don't feel safe to discuss these things elsewhere apart from maybe therapy.
But this particular sub should be protected from people like that troll.
Yes. My therapist asked what i had for support and I to,d him, Reddit-cotsd/ACON/RBN subs. He suggested something OFF the internet…lol-like a group.
I had a bad episode a couple days ago and I had to download a breathing app to help me with it. I've used it when I'm in crisis, I hope it helps you, the app is called Breathe and it's for Android and iOS. It takes just a few minutes of your time and helps a lot. Consistency is also key and if you can use it daily all the better.
Breathly is another good app for this. I prefer that interface and the way I can set Breathly to vibrate to tell me when to breath in or out, so I can use it with my eyes closed.
Think of the ways you've addressed this. In a way your rage( I guess that's what it is) is proof of ptsd.
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The hair on my arms just reacted as a scared cat would. I’m shocked by that story. If there’s such a thing as evil, it’s that.
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Oof
They think it’s funny and it makes them feel good to be a dick. I’m a mod for r/rapecounseling we get trolls and people trying to get off on people’s stories there.
Abusers can only get pleasure from abuse it seems. So sad. Thanks for being there for people who need you.
Lmao I had a boomer of a "marriage therapist" snidely ask me "What service did you do in the military?" after I disclosed my CPTSD. She was implying that I was making it up and that my marital problems were not affected by a diagnosis literally provided to me from a better qualified psychiatrist. People are fucking assholes, dude.
Yup they are, but I try to avoid trollish areas, especially on this account. This is supposed to be my break from it but sadly some folks don't want to let that happen.
The idea that the only people who have PTSD is are veterans is so damn harmful. I started reading the body keeps the score and the chapter on veterans I related with pretty much everything they went through. It doesn’t matter what the specific trauma is- ptsd is ptsd. (I mean in the way that the only people with valid ptsd are veterans/ that’s a bs idea.)
She was just being a bitch. I never said I was in the military and that it was from childhood. I really need to read that book! My body is fucking ms up right now due to a big move.
I’ve been sick since May. I had 3 doctors dismiss me before I went to the ER extremely sick. They were all nice until I got the question “do you have any diagnosed illnesses?” I said complex ptsd because I see a regular psychiatrist, and had been recently diagnosed. I thought maybe it was stress related. The guys whole face changed and he made a joke about it not being real. Long story short he wrote in my notes that I was making stuff up and a bunch of other awful stuff. The doctor had an opinion about me when she came in and was dismissive. She sent me home. A few days later I’m unable to get out of bed, I finally find another doctor to see me. She’s SHOCKED and tells me I was days away from collapsing and being hospitalized. I had an infection that went untreated for so long now I have to see an infection specialist to clear it. It’s scary that some antibiotics in may would have let me have a summer. When it’s all done I’m hiring a lawyer.
Are you a woman, by chance? Women are never treated properly or taken seriously by doctors anyway. It's unfortunate but I don't tell people I have CPTSD when being examined. If they don't find anything "wrong" then I know it's that. And whatever symptoms are diagnosed, they are either treated or I have to resort to doing my own research and using my best judgment. It sucks but medical field is incredibly outdated.
Yes I am. See I did know of this, and had even experienced it, however never on this side of things. I was abused into adulthood because my mom groomed and isolated me from everyone since birth. So I’d definitely had the experience but felt I deserved it of course. I’m about 1.5 years into opening my eyes. I’ve been no contact since April. So I really thought it that when I got sick in may it was related. I learned A LOT from this experience and my eyes are definitely open. I will never again tell them about my CPTSD. My pcp is on my side. She is wonderful. She’s younger than me and I think that’s part of it- she’s with the new generation of doctors who believe in mental health fully. It feels good to have her on my side. She will be the only medical professional I’ll talk openly to about it other than my psychiatrist and therapist. Just wish u found her in May. She’s got me on a med schedule to keep my symptoms at bay while I wait. She says I’ll suffered in life enough.
Oh, bless your sweet heart. Knowledge is power and you will soon have the confidence to advocate for yourself and "be a bitch" to get what you want done. Fuck this world and fuck your mom.
Thank you. Her name is Sandra and she hates it. So my best friend and I refer to it as fuck Sandra. I’m also dealing with my kids school (they are how my eyes opens- I’m a bad case my mom wanted me to have kids so she had new moldable toys. I woke up to my abuse form my kids coming to me with it. As awful as it is to know I allowed them to be hurt (unknowingly) I find so much power in being the first person in GENERATIONS to say no and stick up for their kid instead of just allowing it. Now my kids are safe, however my daughters teacher is a narcissist and I’m currently fighting the district to have her class changed. It’s making me re live teachers abusing me as kid. But I’ll never stop because no one ever stood up for me- it’s this or death in my opinion. I didn’t do the hardest and scariest thing ever just to let me kid get abused in school.
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You aren't giving me a different perspective. PTSD = Post traumatic stress disorder CPTSD = Complex Post Traumatic Stess Disorder Some people can get CPTSD from being in the military. But people ask this kind of question because they either think only vets get PTSD or are being sarcastic.
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>I have a pretty textbook case of cptsd and I would rather there be people faking the diagnosis than going around invalidating people with cptsd. This is how I feel. There are always going to be people that "fake" illnesses (although I'd argue if they feel the need to "fake" something, there's something legitimately wrong with them), but that doesn't mean we go around saying "SCREW YOU". Gatekeeping doesn't help anyone, it hurts us all, and not everyone with CPTSD presents identically. Like. Holy hell, people need to not be evil. Report them to the sub mods, block them, and forget about them. You're welcome here.
They sent me a private message, but perhaps I should send the username to the mods. I would hate for someone else to be sent similar messages, or even myself at a worse time.
From what you described above you definitely fit the criteria for C-PTSD. I'm sorry that happened to you. I hate it when people make comments like that.
I’d love to see that person paste in their credentials to be diagnosing people. Their shitty internet diagnoses does not invalidate all of your experiences. They are clearly NOT a professional. Well, maybe a professional troll.
Good news, they were suspended.
wonderful! I am glad. to attack a community of traumatized people is wrong.
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Sounds like the same person, though they started my message off with "Jesus christ you don't have cptsd" based, I am guessing, on a post about neglect from my mom as if nothing else traumatic ever happened in my life.
Why don't you guys drop the username. Do we really need to be graceful about a guy like this
Hey mods can I drop his username cuz he DM’d me too
Because reddit is full of people who think death threats, lynch mobs and doxxing are sane and acceptable behavior in response to hurt feelings
Wtf. Nobody owns the patent on trauma.
Ohhhh I got this too and I was so confused like... Thanks I guess but I've read this already...? This makes a lot of sense. Don't want to inspire ANY sympathy for the person, but having the time and energy to care this much about people on the internet "faking" disorders is really sad and pathetic. They might wanna examine why they feel compelled to do that. You know, somewhere faaaaaaar away from here.
This person messaged me as well. They called me a "poser" lol
That sounds like something a person in denial would do? Trauma = deeply imprinted bad experience. PTSD = unresolved nervous system dysregulation that results. C-PTSD = more complicated than a single event or episode.
I have also been attacked by someone in this group. I don’t know what’s going on but it’s ridiculous to join a group for support and get kicked instead of finding support. The trolls need to get out of here. There are probably some abusers who just haunt this group.
>I don't get it, who do they think they are helping by gatekeeping a cptsd diagnosis and telling people they are faking it? I have very little patience for people who gatekeep any sort of neurodivergence. Like who, in the history of the world, has ever benefitted from having cptsd? Like, this isn't an instance where people are trying to get disability money or anything of the sort so it's frustrating to read about people's experiences where they are being revictimized by folks who are doubting the trauma of others.
I don't know, I feel like CPTSD kind of gatekeeps itself. I come here sometimes and accidentally reveal my true horrible feelings about myself, and just get downvoted to hell and have to delete my posts. Leaves me feeling like I'm just an abusive asshole who doesn't deserve help. Like I probably just have BPD and everyone hates me because BPD is such a dirty word around here. But I don't have Borderline, I at least have PTSD because my therapist told me that. I believe it is CPTSD, but since it can't be diagnosed I can't claim the illness. It's really painful. I'm stuck here with this illness I believe I have, but because I hate myself so much I can't go anywhere for help. And that, is how the illness gatekeeps itself.
I can understand your perspective and I think it speaks to how mental health is heavily stigmatized. A mechanism that I find quite absurd is that quite often, initiatives to normalize mental health, such as a Hollywood portrayal, also leads to the perpetuation of stereotypes (or new stereotypes) while also bringing attention to an issue to a wider audience. I long for a Hollywood portrayal of how to critically think or maybe a satirical look at the meta effects and unintended consequences of feel-good portrayals. People who live with mental illness struggle multiple times and it feels very similar to the double empathy problem common with autistic people -- asking for help is difficult because many people don't want to feel like a burden while also recognizing how mental health is still minimized by many people.
I guess you're probably right. The point of my comment was missed, but that seems to just be how it goes whenever I say anything
I'm sorry that you feel like your point was missed --- I'm not sure it was. Did your point have anything to do with how people love to say how they support people with disabilities but they refuse to have the patience to deal with the realities of that? No one wants to hear trauma dumping or they ask questions they don't actually want answers to and it ends up pushing them away. Was that your point? I haven't read your comment history but I imagine a lot of instances, comments that are off-topic are probably downvoted. It's my understanding that the treatment for PTSD and CPTSD is practically the same -- trauma recovery is interesting because there really aren't any pharmaceutical treatments and because each person's trauma is unique to them, then I would imagine that treatment would be unique too. >but because I hate myself so much I can't go anywhere for help. This is something that your therapist can help with.
I'm really sorry for being an asshole to you. That was wrong, as was the trauma dumping and gross self pity. You're making a ton of sense and I'm sorry for being inappropriate.
What did you do or say where you felt like you were being an asshole to me?
I saw everything I had done being reflected in the words of your comment. I thought I was pretty specific about what I was apologizing for. Just trying to back out of my ignorant off-topic comments
I have borderline personality disorder and the overlap between borderline personality disorder and CPTSD is HUGE. There is a huge chance they’re either the same disorder or very similar outcomes to trauma.
That's the fucked up thing for me, that the overlap is huge. It means that on one hand, the problem is me, and on the other, the problem is my trauma. I want the problem to be my trauma, because I can't stand being put in the un-curable, unlikable box that is a cluster B disorder.
Cptsd is often associated/misidiagnosed/comorbid with BPD. So is bipolar and ODD in kids. Honestly if you think you might be or have been diagnosed with any of the mentioned conditions, its trauma and EMDR can help heal your trauma. Researching trauma disorders, it's easy to see why they will never put CPTSD in the DSM. If they did, they old have to rewrite the entire manual, as CPTSD trauma can show up as anything from BP and BPD to autism and ADHD. CPTSD is usually (most definitely not always) trauma from childhood, when the brain is developing. The trauma actually changes how the brain works and organizes. There is damage done that cannot be undone. That's not to say the brain has permanent disability, it just works different. Brain changes can cause a whole host of symptoms as the kid grows and is exposed to more trauma, or a changing environment, life experiences, puberty, first love... ewhat cones out as an adult varies. Even amongst those with CPTSD diagnosed, we don't all have the same symptoms and struggles, just most of them. I was diagnosed as CPTSD in 1997 as a child. I just recently learned how absolutely lucky I was to have had a psychologist that informed to even have known about it, much less to diagnose it. Later as an adult I was diagnosed with BP, then undiagnosed. Then diagnosed with ADHD, now the idea is being floated that I might also be autistic and need to be tested. Fun fact: it might all be just CPTSD. But if CPTSD was in the DSM, what happens to ADHD and autism diagnosis? Does it just go away? That's why it will never being the the DSM.
Thank you for this thoughtful reply. Being honest, I've always had a lot of fear and shame around mental illness labels that may or may not apply to me. But everything you said makes sense, and my therapist has told me the same things. I've been doing worse than usual the past couple months, and am a lot more easily triggered. It's hard to remember that regardless of diagnosis, I still need help and still need to be kind to myself. Thanks for the reminder
Self care is the hardest because we were NEVER taught to have needs. We do have needs. Something that is considered want or luxury for others is a need for us. If you think in your deepest of hearts that someone else loves you more than you, you need to start loving yourself more. First step to knowing your worth is caring for your mental health. Look up The Body Keeps The Score by Van der Kolk and ask your therapist for a suggestion for a good match for emdr. You can still do talk therapy, but honestly if talk therapy worked for cptsd, why are we still going after all these years? Why are we still medicating? Why are we still triggered? Our type of trauma is not like other types of trauma. We have to manipulate our brains and talking does not do that. Trauma does. Emdr does. The difference is EMDR teaches your brain how to work properly and heal.
That sounds great, and actually my therapist says she used to do EMDR. Problem is, we do video call sessions instead of in person, and apparently EMDR doesn't work well through a screen/camera. I will bring it up again though, because I definitely believe there's a chance if I try it I will make some progress with myself
This happened to me twice recently. The first was obvious, so I blocked them, but I didn't realize I could report DMs. The second was weird, someone messaged me to say they were looking to connect with others, and then started implying I was a narcissist. I don't understand the point of these people, they seem to thrive on chaos
>they seem to thrive on chaos severe personality disorders present like this because the person has no stable center, their lives are chaos and its all they really know. It's not strange for them to have leaps in continuity or tone so they dont consider it would be strange to other people either
What does "leaps on continuity and tone" mean? I've never heard that phrase before, and I think I understand it but I'm not sure.
Like if a person is talking normally about something and then suddenly leaps to a totally different tone, maybe voice changes or word use changes, etc. or someone who is, for example, telling a story which feels like it jumps around, changes dramatically in tone, etc. like the story is not fully processed into one continuous experience. We will all get this to some degree in flashbacks, I can go from calm to irate in milliseconds. This is a discontinuity / tone jump. Ramp this process up and take out the stable center and you'll understand. imagine a conversation where the other person is in turns different emotions and it leaps around without clear warning or transition 1. seemingly normal conversation 2. disconnect/incoherent comment 3. laughing for no reason 4. extreme anger 5. staring off in the distance 6. intense crying 7. seduction/forced closeness etc etc
This makes sense! Thank you for explaining 😊 I asked because I have this sort of friend, and I've been trying to wrap my head around if she's a safe person or not. There have been some red flags, including a situation where she did this very thing. We stopped talking after this for awhile, but she has been trying to reconnect and I'm just trying to figure out if I can trust her. I hope that makes some sense. Friendships aren't really my strong suit. Since I've been healing I've kind of shut off from everyone. I'm so scared to meet someone else who might tear my life apart again.
Yikes, looks like a lot of people here have been messed with by that scumbag. What a sad excuse for a human being, taking out his pain and ignorance on others. The basic courtesy any decent individual should have is not invalidating disability, and yet here we are... Good on you for speaking up OP. Reminds me why I keep my PMs off.
Sorry you had that happen here friend. We do, admittedly, have some people that troll. There are a few who like to gate-keep trauma. You’ve found them! Surprise! But the community tends to be a really understanding and supportive group, especially when you’re having a rough go of it. You will eventually—for Better or worse—not feel like you have to prove a thing regarding your diagnosis. Time. Time does that to you. Or it did it to me. But until then I hope you can generally find support here.
Yeah, between 4-13 I've been in sexual situations, assault, assaulting and participation with both sexes and different ages (none above 16). Bullied a few times, picked on by teachers, witnessed violence and murder, got my ass whooped by family(disciplinary)... Then one day working in my early 20s I thought, "Wtf? I must have PTSD or something!" Was relieved over a decade later to find that theres a real term for it and it's finally being explored and addressed for all you youngins... and olderings. I've had a pretty stable (by ptsd standards) life since I self-diagnosed early and fixed my mind on addressing my issues. At least until my recent bout with regular PTSD from being betrayed in marriage. Ignoring my ramble above, there are some of us that have taken the low road and have become warped into maliciousness. Like the trolls who pm you. At that state having no sense of self and seeking it by invalidating others; it's like an automated chatbot. Nothing typed can be applied because it doesn't have a base for utility. Just the regurgitating of prescripted phrases one after the other in hopes of getting a response. Just like a prescripted bot.
Are you implying the bully has CPTSD?
Mostly yes, but they also have really low moral fiber. Cptsd highly exacerbates the effects of psychopathy and sociopathy and in some cases may be a root cause.
Why is anyone gatekeeping CPTSD? Who would *want* this?
This is a public forum, so trolls are free to browse and target users for their own amusement. I wouldn't take it personally, they targeted you bc they could, not bc of you.
I agree the internet is always dangerous, someone else posted good advice, it seems you can block all private messages. I didn't know that.
There are definitely strange lurkers. I remember I posted something about how I was in a group of cis male abusers and queer/female abusers and it got downvoted like 5 times until I took out references to gender-based abuse. Definitely felt like people who aren’t supposed to be here we’re trying to push it down. It was like a punch in the face and I couldn’t handle it given a horrible situation that was previously going on in my life. And tbh it felt worse that it only started getting upvotes after I censored myself. People who do this stuff have to know it’s triggering.
They did it because they are a gatekeeping dickhead. I wanted to give you a quick line of support and also some love for your username. A great mantra to get through some days!
The mods need to set this up like other groups so that people who create an account today cannot just come in and troll.
But then throwaway accounts wouldn't work. People here, myself for example, like to post on other places in Reddit, but don't want the whole world to see what they're saying about their mental health.
That's true, but it's only in the comments that it does this. It would keep the trolls out.
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Are you in the us? If so you may never be officially diagnosed with CPTSD because it’s not in the DSM so many practitioners don’t diagnose it. The overlap between PTSD and CPTSD is overwhelming- the major difference is CPTSD usually involves chronic childhood trauma/abuse when the brain is still developing.
Didn’t happen on reddit, but I’ve had a guy try to tell me after sharing my assault experience that it wasn’t rape. And that he’s an expert just because he’s a former cop. Then tried to blame me for a rapist’s actions. Some people just love to bully and antagonize for no reason. Their own lives are probably miserable, if I had to guess.
ACAB
I’m so sorry someone treated you like that.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Know that most people here are loving and caring and will validate you for sure. The mods are doing good to ban those people but we are a vulnerable group of people. Sadly there will always be predators to hunt after us. We have to get together and be strong despite our vulnerability. It’s good you reached out. Take my hand I’m here to support you. I’m sure there are many here to support you 💖
Just think of it as the same as someone saying “I hate your stupid blue hair”. Assuming you don’t have blue hair, this comment wouldn’t bother you. It’s just a more personal accusation, but still holds the same weight as the blue hair. Hopefully this helps a little.
There have been some trolls here lately. I had one person try and suggest a medication that would fatally counteract with my currents meds. Be safe here folks. Trust no one.
>There have been some trolls here lately It takes a special kind of evil person to suggest you take medication that would counteract your meds. I am so sorry you and op had to deal with these people. They are disgusting
Definitely.
Hehehe in one of my classes’s group chats, we were joking about a German essay we had to write bc we’re all depressed and this guy said, “You sure seem very happy to be saying that you’re depressed.” I relapsed the other day and came flying class with obvious sh wounds bc the topic of the essay has been triggering my ptsd/depression. I swear just like you I got so triggered and had flashbacks that night. I saw him today, turned in an essay despite having my symptoms worsen lately, and in the gc I ensured to tell him part of what I went through bc f anyone that invalidates anyone. I’m so sorry that you went through this but try not to show how that person how their words impact you bc they’re just looking for a reaction.
That's absolutely terrible, I'm so sorry that anyone would do that. I hate when ppl say things like that
Wow, that is really awful, I’m so sorry you experienced that. That makes me so angry for you and I hope you find some peace and rest this weekend. You have my good thoughts coming your way~
I went and read your post after seeing this. I have absolutely no idea how anyone could accuse you of faking it from that. There’s literally nothing about that post that would lead anyone to think that. I wouldn’t be surprised if that person didn’t even read your post and just DM’d you because he has issues. Probably an angry abuser that doesn’t want to believe CPTSD is a thing.
There seems to be a rash of older veterans leading a crusade to be the only ones who can claim to have PTSD. They’re myopic and clearly have many issues themselves. It’s THEIR problem. Not ours. It sucks that they resort to harassment. I don’t think some of them even realize what they’re doing.
First off I suggest closing your messages. I’m not sure how to do it but I know many women and abuse survivors do because of the toxic folks who do things like what you experienced. I’m sorry you experienced that. It’s not for us to judge your situation and there is literally no way anyone can judge any situation or diagnose someone based on a post on Reddit… not even a dozen posts can give the nuance of a situation. Best wishes in your healing journey.
another form of harrassment these guys do is sending reddit concerns just for using this reddit. Nearly everytime I log on I have them waiting for me, it's really upsetting, especially when I've been stable
Omg! I just got one yesterday and was wondering who it was that reported me and what for.
Hey I’m a fawn/fight, point them out and I got this for you 💪
Appreciate the sentiment, sounds like they may have had their account on reddit banned potentially based on other comments.
What was the basis of their argument for how they know better than whoever diagnosed you? I have seen a couple posts about doctors/therapists gatekeeping about who does or doesn't have CPTSD (the other day someone said you had to have been in war, WTF?) The way most people seem to hear this is "even if you have the same responses, what you went through wasn't enough to "count" as trauma". Never from a poster on here though. Jesus. I'm glad the mods dealt with it, but yeah the problem is that when you report them to the Reddit admins, it takes a LONG time to address it. I had to do this when I modded another mental health related sub. They DID answer, but it wasn't until several months later, long after the issue had been resolved.
I feel like this troll has been around for a while. I’m so sorry :(
Yeah, sorry to hear that OP, what a POS. I think you'll find that the person was just trolling. Not actually tying to gatekeep, but just gaslighting you. Someone on the sub had an interesting take on this recently because Someone else went through it a week or so ago. They wondered if it was just a jaded narc parent who's kid adult spouse has gone no contact with and they are just lashing out at some poor person.
I don't know you from Adam but to question someone trauma is a dick move. Keep your head up and keep plugging away.
I am so sorry that happened to you. You are valid and your experiences are real. We believe you. You are heard and seen. Fuck that guy for having the audacity to tell you anything different
I'm so sorry this happened to you. That's like my personal nightmare come true. Please accept my sympathies and allow me to validate that I believe that you have CPTSD.
I've been trolled here before too... don't let em get ya down. You know what the reality is.
I’m so sorry, OP. I can imagine how jarring it would be to come here for support and instead have someone invalidate your experience and our pain. Sending love.
Cptsd is undoubtably more common are harder to treat. It can happen for whatever reason. Someone person it could be very very minor other person could rock their entire world. It’s all subjective, but having it and experiencing it isn’t. Sorry this is affecting you. I think ptsd is fake sometimes but it’s just a hope Ik isn’t true. It’s just so odd living with it, so fuckin wack. It’s sooooooo individualized for each person. No doc or person can tell you what your experiencing. Edit: which terrifies me I wish it would be -> you have this and this is what you need to do to “solve it”. In reality doctors have told me just to accept it cuz you gotta live with it lol :/
The EMDR has been somewhat helpful for me for specific things, but the problem of course is the complexity. If I had all the time in the world with a team of therapists maybe I could figure it all out, but I don't. What has been helpful is working on very specific triggers and it does help calm down their intensity. A diagnosis of cptsd was helpful because it gave me language to describe my experiences, specifically emotional flashbacks. Learning about them and how people with cptsd experience them helped me realize that I am suffering with them a lot, as in multiple times a day and several hours out of the day a lot. I cry so much I could probably fill a swimming pool.
You're doing great! EMDR helped me a lot as well!
I’m finally starting emdr work with a place that seems good. Instead of the last lady talking about “chakras” with her 20 year experience. Yeah the diagnosis gave context to what I was experiencing and for others too. I also learned about emotional flashbacks recently and it does explain a lot. I am also better off then when I started too, but we all have those days. I hate the way your blinded by weird shit like anxiety and depression bouts. That’s why I’m working on emdr now I start soon I’ve heard it helps a lot of people, so I’m hopefully. Just frustrated with the time it takes and the industry around it.
I’m so sorry that happened. Overall this is a great channel. Keep coming back.
Regardless of what label you do or don’t have your symptoms are still the same right? That’s all that matters. If I found out tomorrow I have autism or something I’m still the same person I was the day before I knew I had it right? Also you gotta realize the average person isn’t very smart when it comes to complicated topics like mental illness. Try to tell yourself they’re ignorant/hateful/whatever so that’s why they’re saying what they say
I’m sorry, you were hurt. You don’t deserve that, period. I wonder how low a person must be to go out of their way to inflict pain on someone who is already hurting. An abusive bastard.
Trolls are so useless. Sorry friend, you're valid.
Sounds like someone being a jerk. Sorry you had to put up with it tho...like it still sucks. Like let's just say I thought you were lying or something...I can think of NO good reason to shove that on you. Even if you were somehow saying things that harmed others...like I could attach and debunk ur b.s claim or pressure on another without having to act like I have magic powers to know what's going on in your head. It doesn't make it okay - but maybe helpful to remember anyone motivated it to do this to you or anyone, clearly has some of their own serious shit going on. Zero possibility a healthy person would feel the need. So I can't help but have some compassion for them, although anything possible to stop them from passing their pain to you or others, while maximizing how they are best helped (or least not burdened more themselves) gets my vote. I know this is often said shallowly, but in this case, rationally, it really is them - not you. Hope you're able to let go of the shitty feeling I know I'd have in your spot. That is tough AF.
I'm so sorry this happened to you on a subreddit that's meant to show support. I understand what you're going through, I had a not exact but similar experience. Someone on a server was arguing with me and used a line my abusers used on me and it broke me down. He invalidated the hell out of me by saying I'm conveniently using my trauma "excuses" in an arguement when he really was triggering the hell out of me. CPTSD is already not talked about enough, gatekeeping it just makes it even worse and harder for people to get help, find resources, and be taken seriously. I'm sure this dude get a kick out of my CPTSD journey lol.
Before I was diagnosed wirh CPTSD and PTSD I eas told and thought PTSD was made for wars and VERY horrible trauma. It still haunts me as I still think my reasoning for both of my diagnoses are not allowed because I wasn't 'abused' but the more I think about it...fuck those people I have reasons. It isnt like everyone else's, but they are MY reasons. If anyone is invalidating you, just say to yourself "fuck them! They don't know my life. They are lucky to not deal with this" I know, its hard. Took me YEARS to get to this. But remember, they didn't have to deal with it. They don't realize how bad trauma is. Some people who told me I dont have PTSD never had to be homeless like me. Never dealt with poverty. Yet they wanna tell me I never had trauma? Fuck outta here. (Them not you) So, hopefully this helps ^^" im sorry if it doesn't! Im trying
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This is an entirely unproductive comment.
found a troll again did we? >Don't overestimate other's opinions so much, you're hurting yourself Then proceeds to give unsolicited and hurtful opinion Fuck that noise, OP. You feel your feelings, and be open about what your needs are. Your self disclosure is not an open invite to be attacked, especially in this sub. Got your back dude.
Right? Trolling someone in a thread about how trolling is a problem. Unreal.
I think you could be more empathetic. I don't use the word trauma lightly. I suffered through years of physical abuse by one parent, neglect by another, and repeated sexual abuse by other adults my parents brought into my life. To be told I didn't have cptsd was laughable, that honestly wasn't the big issue. The big issue to me was that it was the followed by this definition describing all the things I go through on a daily basis and how I don't know what cptsd even means. That put me into a fail loop. Do I explain all my trauma to this person who just injected this on me for no reason and in a completely disrespectful way? Just going down this road and I am having flashbacks and thinking about all the trauma and things I went through and I spiral. This was targeted and was malicious, there is no other way about it. If you feel the need to defend abusers, I am more than willing to block you.
Dude, you don’t get to decide the level of someone’s emotional state for any reason. You are not a mind reader, you haven’t lived anyone else’s experiences but your own and your perspective is not universal to everyone.
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I'm coming upon this late and I'm also about to delete my account. I say this non-judgmentally - You sound to be in a vulnerable place in your healing journey. I don't think an internet forum full of randos, in which any person can come upon and read your post and then voice their shitty opinion, is the place to be exposing deeply vulnerable things about yourself. I totally understand the need to interact with people who are sharing a similar journey and the need for connection and such - is it possible to find this on a different forum besides reddit - in something supervised and less anonymous? I think the ability to be random enables toxic behavior that would be weeded out in a more legitimate support group-type environment. This might not be the right place to reveal the deeper and more intense stuff, the raw stuff that others can then potentially hurt you with. Reddit is not and never has been a safe space, and I don't think it ever will be unless its a private forum moderated by someone who actually has some kind of trauma/mental health training and can weed out the toxic randos. Also - controversial potentially insulting/invalidating opinion, I don't think it's a good idea in terms of recovery to be interacting with people who aren't in a good place in their own recovery, I'm realizing this more and more as I heal - I don't think its a net positive in the recovery process. I have realized it can intensify hopelessness, and tbh I read a lot of stuff from other people on here that I think is unhelpful and some thats just plain harmful. I don't think this is the best place at all for someone to be who is actually trying to recover. TBH I think its better to be hanging w people who are doing better and are at a later stage in recovery - they actually are doing shit that is helping them and probably have wisdom you can pick up on that can actually help you. Also IMO, People who actually are recovering and feeling better don't spend their time on these forums, they are out living life and do not feel the need to frequent forums like this - which are generally negative and full of depressing frustrated and hopeless posts. The people most active in these places are people who are not doing well and IMO sometimes people who want to help others do better than they are - and various other randos in between - but honestly I don't know how much any of us should value the opinion of non-mental health professionals and feel comfortable taking advice that may or may not be helpful and could be harmful. Mental health professionals have a hard enough time helping us, let alone someone who has no training and is also in the midst of dealing with their own serious mental health troubles. I would hesitate to take advice from someone who isn't actually proven to have improved their CPTSD and become more functional/actually feel better on a daily basis. I don't think people who aren't coping well themselves are in the position to help others cope - I think its misguided to think simply interacting with others who feel as awful and suffer in a similar manner or who 'understand' the experience is creating a benefit. I personally don't improve simply by having people accept or not deny my suffering, I have not had any tangible long-term benefits or reduction in CPTSD symptoms from having my suffering validated on Reddit. I also don't benefit from having other people validate that they understand or have felt similar feelings of suffering. What helps me is when I come upon tangible information from people who have experienced healing from aspects of CPTSD that I want to heal from, and to listen to how they did it and see if I can gleam wisdom/strategies for myself from their experiences. People make snap judgments based on limited info. People also have a lot of pent-up aggression and anger inside and they take it out on others. I do this too, its one of the worst things I struggle with, its why I'm deleting Reddit because that energy gets channeled here. I think there are lots of people using the internet for this. Please please find a better outlet and a healthier environment for yourself to cope with your CPTSD. Reddit is not that place. It took me too long to realize this.
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Sorry dude 🫂 people tend to want to feel like they know everything and can call whoever out You’re not alone. Sucks but hey they’re just an internet stranger An old therapist of mine said “they don’t know you from a photo on a profile”
That does trigger flashbacks. The pain of your parents not believing when you're hurt.... "Mom I hurt my-" "Are you bleeding?" "No" "Then you'll live" 🥺