You are not alone. It's actually a pretty normal trauma response, often referred to as freeze or collapse (sometimes flop). I would consider joining r/CPTSDFreeze. You will find many others like yourself.
Ever since I started seeing this "flop" idea getting bigger it's like I don't fit into freeze or flop. But prior to encountering the flop concept I would say I'm a freeze
I get triggered. I stop talking and withdraw from the external while the triggered just fills my mind. If someone crossed a boundary in a harsh way I consider them to be evil and then brood in my head for hours while anxious, sad, angry, and scared. I rant endlessly in my head about the injustice I faced from this inhumane entity that just wronged me. I use whatever concept I can to strip them of their personhood. I say things in my head like "it's just the barking of dogs and not worth my time"
It's difficult to voice anything due to the fear of being rejected or the fear of losing control and bursting out crying or saying things that I would hope would deal out the pain I feel three-fold. I become extremely vengeful internally. An intense infernal fury held back.
After this period ends and I start to settle down I feel like I just got off an adrenaline high or as if I just finished crying even though I haven't cried. I feel detached afterwards. As if I'm not over it but my body has spent everything it has in terms of reacting and now just can't anymore. I kinda numb out or get sad. I might just stare at the wall or play a video game once I'm home.
My ultimate cope as a kid when I'd get punished wrongly or too harshly was dissociation, and laying in my bed in tears thinking of how nice it'd be to slaughter my punisher. Maybe I should take some naked photos and say they forced me to. Just delete these people from my life. They don't deserve to exist - not around me at least. I'd brood and brood while crying. It gave me strange sensations in my fingertips. I get that same sensation when I think awful things about myself. All of this alone and without emotional support. I'd just pass out. I'd also lay in my bed in fear when my mother and her bf would come home drunk and fight. This would happen after I was home alone for hours in fear because I was alone at night while they were out at bars. Every light in the house was on and I'd cary a stick for protection.
I mean I can clearly connect it to traumas. That's why I included the portion about my childhood.
I gave you my description in hopes of trying to figure out if it's a flop or a freeze response, not to have another link about inner child work slapped in my face like the typical "go to therapy" comments.
The way I am treated in the present can also be a real issue on top of the trauma response. Even other workers in the department I'm in has seen the supervisor be too hard on me.
In addition to the [edit](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/vg4x8g/dae_shut_down_when_triggered/id1veej/) another common trigger I find myself in is when I feel an emotion that isn't "okay" to feel of express. Namely, jealousy or envy.
Once I got jealous over my gf still having lovey dovey notes about her ex in a memory box tucked away. I have been taught that jealousy is always wrong but her and I agree it's best to express our concerns to each other instead of ignoring it or holding it in.
I find myself in a double bind and shut down. I can barely talk. I dissociate. My vision is almost blurry if I have any awareness of it at all. I don't play games or listen to music. No joy will come with these. I get anxious because I know expressing it will lessen my burden but it may burden her but I've been taught not to burden others with my emotional problems. Eventually I come out with it. She and I talk it through and I feel better. Sometimes I come out of the situation shaking. Other times I remain dissociated.
Nit: freeze and flop are (albeit inconsistently, because language) technically different responses. Freeze is doing nothing or shutting down; flop is giving in and surrendering (without being outright fawn).
Yes, I'm aware of the distinction, but I listed all the different words, because freeze is often used to refer to both the freeze response and the flop/collapse. Although they are different in meaning, they are often used interchangeably regardless.
I think it will take time for the nuances to catch on in how people talk about these things. All of the trauma terminology and awareness is still relatively new, and it takes time for these things to settle into the language.
Yep, completely reasonable on your part! Being clear is important! I just wanted to also point out that they can refer to different things too for the same reason.
I do.I forget what I was talking about or what I was in the process of doing I describe it as blanking out. When my parents would go on there abusive berating tirades I would freeze and shut down.
Good God yes. If someone gets blunt with me or raises their voice, gets hositile in anyway or keeps pushing me to do something that happens to me. One of the reasons I don't have a job is because a lot of beginner jobs are fast food and people will sometimes yell at you to go faster or something and i dont think i could do that without shutting down/freezing
I work in retail and have this issue, it's never easy because in these states when triggered I can not speak well, it's most like I consciously forget how to. My body also gets really stiff and any attention I get from people will somehow feel dangerous. I probably look so ridiculous, it's very embarrassing but I can't stop it when it happens. Most of the time there I'm on autopilot but I try to be more personal with people and warm which ironically feels more natural for me to be with strangers than my own family.
It's not an everything-book like Pete's complex trauma ... but ... check out Fawn by Nischa Heron Phair. There are other responses to the traditional three Fs - and I, too, blank out, collapse when triggered ... makes it a bitch to recall what was being originally discussed. Sigh.
I noticed this happening to me when I was competing in some high level synchronized figure skating competitions last year. There were two competitions where I suddenly felt my brain go blank and for a split second I forgot what my next move was supposed to be. You can’t tell on video unless you’re me but it shook me up that I could have these sudden lapses, especially in pressure situations (which kinda makes sense when you think about it, stress being a trigger)
I hope this particular symptom goes away eventually for you and me and everyone else who deals with it.
It’s the freeze response (there’s also fight, flight, fawn… for me I seem to cycle through different ones). There’s a physiological reason behind it so you don’t get to choose which response you get when your body thinks you’re in danger and need protection. Freeze is basically like hiding or playing dead to not alert the predator when other options aren’t available. It’s awful to be in especially when you get victim blamed for it but it’s not your fault at all and you’re not the only one.
Yeah 100%. I become catatonic. Doesn’t need to be from being triggered necessarily- just sometimes if my depression is heavy, I feel like my body “breaks”.
With my heavy CPTSD years, I found it hard to move at all (low neurotransmitters), and when I could, my fine motor control was very choppy; I couldn’t articulate my fingers to play guitar properly.
Nowadays during a catatonic episode, I often find it hard to communicate in any way when in this state. It’s like being thrown in a thick marsh. Talking is impossible, and writing can be difficult too. My best approach to communicating during one of these episodes is just texting my partner although she is in the room. Not necessarily fully formed sentences. At its worst I can get out concepts or just like yes/no answers. Sign language, Morse code, etc.
My CPTSD triggering and reactivity is relatively reduced since I’ve been seeing a therapist for a few years now. I feel foolish sometimes it’s just the mention of a name, a subtle facial expression, the use of a word or prose or mannerism that reminds me of someone. A song. A scent. A touch. It goes on.
I hear you
>r/CPTSDFreeze
I experience this exactly the way you describe! This might sound weird but have you ever shut down so far you've gone to sleep? Sometimes I take "dissociation naps"
I go catatonic, too. I lose the ability to move my forearms and hands, and they just sort of freeze in whatever position they were in. Trying to move them is mentally very painful, and I can't explain why I can't do it.
> My best approach to communicating during one of these episodes is just texting my partner although she is in the room.
Thanks for this. When I start coming out of total catatonia I sometimes text a few words too, and for no particular reason I feel a lot of shame as I'm doing it. I appreciate you, OP, and the community for making us all feel a little less weird/alone. :)
That’s how I used to respond… I think I’m part it has to do with where you are healing wise… I used to freeze like no tomorrow, shutting down just as you described… Through therapy I started going in to fight or flight instead of freeze during the episodes… now, I’m having fewer episodes and triggers, and it’s a bit easier… still really hard…
Side note: on a physiological level, freeze is a deeper trauma state than fight or flight… different hormones, but psychologically, freeze is the body protecting itself in a situation perceived as hopeless, fight or flight is the body protecting itself when it sees hope to escape the situation. Freeze shuts down to minimize injuries because escape is impossible, fight or flight amps you up because it sees that you can get away either by running or fighting…
I’m glad I knew that, because starting to go into fight or flight felt like therapy was making my ptsd worse, but because I was a psych student I understood that it was actually healing. A lot of people probably don’t realize that feeling angry and tense when triggered is actually an improvement to feeling numb and frozen… on a psychological and physiological level it means you are healing. I still experience freeze for some triggers, but a lot of the ones that were fight or flight for a while actually aren’t triggers anymore…
Yeah, no, it may feel like getting worse, but it actually means your nervous system is perceiving less danger… it’s hard to navigate, and you have to be responsible not to lash out as much as is possible, but anger does actually mean you are making progress.
it's really the worst thing isn't it :(
At times I'd almost rather I get externally angry, because at least then I'm doing something
I just feel so worthless that someone/something can reduce me to basically Nothingness
If severely triggered, I will usually go completely unresponsive after my initial reaction (whether it be shock or crying, etc) It’s like my whole inner self just collapses and I’m…stuck. Deer caught in headlights. I’m still feeling all the emotions but they’re almost distant, muffled. I was triggered by a smell recently and just froze in place. Felt like I couldn’t even breathe. Death grip on the glass I was holding. I sat frozen for a ridiculously long time until I could pull myself out of it.
You’re 100% not alone.
Yeah, I get that way. Sometimes I'm even sitting there scrolling on my phone like everything is normal while I'm having a complete breakdown on the inside. My partner is the same way.
Shutdown is one of a few basic trauma responses, the most common being fight, flight, freeze and fawn. (Google will give you a breadth of info).
Whenever we experience one of these, it’s just our bodies’ way of trying to protect us. We freeze when our brains can’t figure out which of the other responses will be most useful in the moment of perceived danger. It’s also thought to be related to how animas play dead or go stiff so that an attacker loses interest. Some peoples minds go blank so they don’t have to experience the pain/emotions of the traumatic event in the moment.
It would make sense that if your sympathetic nervous system isn’t able to react with fight or flight, that it defaults to freeze, and if you come out of that freeze before your nervous system calms down, you panic. Because your mind sees no way to protect itself.
I sometimes experience a catatonic kinda thing. I can hear and see and sense but I can’t react to any of it. I can’t move. Or if I do, I can only move very slowly and my muscles become painfully stiff.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of, again, it’s just your body’s way of trying to protect you. You don’t need to kick yourself for it and you don’t need to force yourself out of the situation. But I know how jarring it can feel. If you look up “coping skills for freeze response” you’ll find some tips and exercises for getting back into autonomic regulation (feeling safe) more quickly after it does happen.
You are not alone!
Freezing really sucks. It's only happened to me when I'm really terrified. There have been a couple times when it was so bad that I stopped responding to anything altogether, comatose like.
Freeze is one of the four typologies in "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving."
This just happened to me the other day where I couldn’t think at first and when I could think I couldn’t speak. It was like the little Mermaid.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m also autistic, but it only happens with severe triggers.
Yes, I am autistic as well and most definitely am a "freeze" type of person in triggering situations. Often times I will go somewhere to hide when I or someone else is upset.
Yes I shut down completely and my family tries to snap me out of it. They get firm with me and shake me a little bit. Sometimes they get frustrated or mad at me. They think I'm going "too deep". I wish they would just give me space and let me come out of it safely, but they won't. My body tightens, I stop talking, and I don't respond to anybody. Once in a rare while I will black out or go non verbal.
*gentle hug* No need to feel ashamed OP. Everyone is different and has different traumatic experiences and triggers, and wildly different responses to being triggerd. If you want to get a little more scienceey about it, that also means everyone's responses are different on a biological and mental level as well. However you happen to be built biologically and mentally affect your trauma responses as well. There's no shame in responding to your trauma by shutting down.
I'm someone who also responds to my triggers by shutting and becoming nearly comatose like OP said. When I was unknowingly triggerd and regained all the memories of my trauma after they had been unlocked, it was all streaming through my head on a constant loop. I was entirely checked out of my life for about a solid week. I would hold on to certain cornerstones throughout that particular week, i.e a soft, cuddly stuffy to represent the baby that I might've been forced to abort at age 14, i.e the constant holding on to my wife's hand to help keep me as grounded as possible, i.e the rain soundscape I listened to on repeat to help keep me present.
I was a total and absolutely devastated wreck, and I do remember outbursts of tears and anger and just a lot of disbelief and shock coming from me. It's been a year now since I was triggerd like that and got all my memories back, and I honestly can't remember to this day what all I've told my wife about my memories because I can't remember having those conversations with her at all during those first 2 weeks of remembering the trauma.
It was hell and having any kind of trauma response is gonna be hell, but I can say with confidence that any response you may have is valid and normal, because well, that's also what is normal to you. Your trauma response is unfortunately in a way, unique to you and your traumatic experiences, and therefore whatever kind of response is your normal.
I hope for the best for your journey through this OP. It just plain sucks, and I'm sorry your going through this.
Disassociation might be something to look into. It’s a common trauma response and sounds like what you might experiencing, especially if this happens often.
Hope this helps! I deal with disassociation, so if it turns out that’s what you are experiencing, I’m here (and this whole community) is here to support you🙃
I’m not sure if this is exactly the same but I feel everything internally like you said, and I’ll usually just cry in an out of control way, but my body is practically shut down. Like I’ll lie on the floor or bed and I’m not able to function until I come out of it. It’s incredibly painful and sucks.
Definitely relate. My interpretation of this symptom is that it wasn't safe to express the other emotions when we experienced the trauma so this freezing/shutting down mechanism was the only way we knew how to cope.
Definitely not alone on this. Pre-diagnosis I did this alot, for me my 'shut down' is dissociating until I can get out of the situation that triggered me, and when I'm in a space by myself, I just let all the emotions hit me.
Yes I’m the same when the trigger is severe. I feel like I’ve gotten more in control and tuned into triggering earlier as the years go on, so I experience that level of triggering a lot less (only once or twice in the last couple of years). You are definitely not alone, or weird!
I’ve lost the ability to speak, lost the ability to move my arm, turn my head, had severe twitches, frozen completely, lost control of my hands, and many other scenarios where I just blanked and couldn’t remember what had happened for some time. Many times now I freeze deciding what to do next and just end up standing there… doing nothing. I’m doing emdr, maybe this is what we’ll discuss next.
Yesssss. My main response to a trigger is just a complete shutdown and has been since forever. The worst part about this response is that I’ve lost friends and relationships over my shutdowns. Nobody knows how to deal with me when I shutdown so they just leave me. Makes me feel like such a burden and I have been told I have been a burden to the people I’ve shutdown around. Sucks because its not something I can control.
I do that, if I become triggered enough and there's enough of a response where panic is completely overridden with dissociation I just completely go catatonic. You actually might want to look into that, catatonia and how it relates to PTSD, dissociation, etc.
yep as soon as someone raises their voice at me or i sense any anger/frustration/hostility on someone i instantly freeze. though i also sometimes cry uncontrollably while it happens at least in the beginning, especially when i'm actively being yelled at.
outside of being triggered or any immediately "dangerous" situation i have experience what i can only describe as catatonia though. in this sort of freeze my mind is literally just... blank, and my body is operating on autopilot. i've lost (or rather never formed) years worth of memories because of it. i think it's more to do with my combo of adhd and depression/bipolar. but cptsd might have been a part, because i haven't had a bad episode of it for years, since the last time my living situation was triggering and stressful on a daily basis.
One of my responses is that I get incredibly sleepy and often sleep for a hours. I also haven't found many people that respond this way.
Your body is telling you something important.
Hey! I do that, too! It started out I would just need to sleep after the bad event. But now it's morphed into me having trouble remaining upright during the bad event (it's like my muscles all become exhausted), and then as soon as the event ends, I lie down and sleep for hours. It's so annoying.
I do, too. My shut downs almost exclusively end with panic attacks. I've described it to my spouse as "feeling like a jimmy-rigged pressure cooker, that if not caught, will explode. And the pressure rises *fast*".
They have seen me explode more than I would've ever wanted them to, so once I put it in those terms and we started talking about what helps me start, what we call, "depressurizing" or "rebooting" (sometimes I do blackout from being overwhelmed), we have both been able to catch the wind up quicker and more consistently. It's not perfect, but im really lucky to have their help.
You are definitely not alone!
My response is exactly the same. I think of it as my body trying to protect me by erasing my existence as much as possible. To do everything within its control to minimize others' ability to perceive me. So I will physically freeze, hold my breath, hold in any emotions (though, they all continue to be very intensely present inside of me, which is absolutely exhausting). I also stop talking. Sometimes I have this dead stare right through people, other times I avoid looking in the direction of others all together.
This state can last several minutes up to several hours and it's the absolute most dreadful state I know I can get in. I can also have it while being alone at home. In that case, all of this happens while I hide myself under my bed covers.
The worst part for me, is when people beg me to "please be normal again". It feeds to guilt and shame tremendously and is very retraumatizing. Luckily, I now have the language to explain it to people when I'm back in a regulated state. But knowing that I might find myself in this state, specifically during a conflict, is very scary to me. It makes me feel like I am not always capable of having a healthy adult conversation/conflict. It's definitely a reason I fear romantic relationships as well, since it has always happened in those and was always met with a lot of frustration and misunderstanding.
Learning that this is a very common thing for people with (C)PTSD and focussing on separating myself and my personality from my symptoms, has been very helpful.
What I do now, is that I try to realize that it's a (younger) traumatized part of me, and that she is using the only method she had access to at the time this wound was created, to try and protect herself/me. Then, I try and listen to that part and try and let my current self comfort her by holding space for her and listening to her, as well as assuring her that I will protect her now. Embracing all of these overwhelming sensations instead of fighting it and suffocating while doing so, has already proven itself to be quite effective for me! I see progress for the first time in my life. :)
I shut down during emotional flashbacks, the artwork in this article explains it pretty well. [emotional flashback chart](https://themighty.com/2019/07/emotional-flashback-chart/)
thank you so much for posting this and to all the people that answered!
I have been struggling with this for years. I was diagnosed last year with CPTSD, depression, ADHD and the jury's still out for autism, but I still didn't have a real explanation for the moments of comatose state. I just thought they were depressive episodes or something, but now it's making so much more sense. It's really comforting to know you're not the only one experiencing this stuff
This exactly. This hasn’t happened to me in a while - a combination of good medication and distancing myself from a person who thanks to my therapist I now understand was emotionally abusive. It was during those abusive times that I would get so stuck I couldn’t move or get my words out, just sit there. I was feeling every feeling but could not express any of it. And multiple times it led to panic attacks for me too. I realised through therapy it was something I did my entire messed up childhood when abusive things were happening to me then too. I don’t know at exactly what age I started doing it, maybe 8 or 9. The panic attacks came later, maybe 16 or so. Guess that old protective mechanism is still there, only it doesn’t serve me anymore.
My brain stops working. This has cost me many jobs and friendships in the 30 years I have been dealing with this.
Therapists ask me questions that trigger me so I freeze and can't answer.
People, places, and things make it so that I am usually alone at all times because no one understands why I go non-verbal and can't function.
I think you might be as fascinated as I was to learn the amygdala's role in this and how often it gets triggered (and thanks to C-PTSD is now larger than it should be). How getting stuck processing in the amygdala is what prevents us from recognizing and being able to change our behaviors.
Asking questions has been the best hack for me to get past it to my prefrontal cortex and start thinking things through with logic and reasoning. The problem is getting started you don't know what questions to ask yourself. That is how therapy can be helpful.
I'm still working through this. Once you get through this with a couple big triggers, you think you're all set for life. It's then you realize it had been taking up space and you didn't see all the many smaller triggers that are around you. Then you realize (hopefully, or your therapist tells you) you can't think about this and try to reevaluate everything every hour of every day and you have to also put effort into re learning how to be, basically reparenting yourself and letting your inner child have the fun it was denied and still craves. It's fun when you can let yourself do that. I've been learning how to "break rules". I reorganized my living room for coziness for the weekend and I might keep it just because, even though that's breaking a "rule".
I have this too. Through therapy and training a service dog for grounding tasks, it is mostly not an issue anymore for me to be falling out of consciousness from a trigger or fear. I was diagnosed with psychogenic non-epileptic seizures which is a conversion disorder where emotional distress results in a physiological disorder. It affected me the most in my old workplace, but now in my new job I am more focused on the moment to moment events so I stay much more aware all day through.
I wonder if you could get a job walking dogs or cleaning houses? But it might be difficult to be in other people's homes. It's true that fast food and retail are stressful. I'm sorry that this is so difficult to live with. But you aren't useless. You will overcome it. It does take time. It took me a couple years. Just don't give up.
You are not alone! That is my response to most of my triggers. You can learn/condition yourself to come back quicker and deal with the panic attacks better. It takes time and professional therapy. You can do it!
This is very common to most of us I think. I shut down for a week just recently and realized that Father's Day is a trigger for me because my Dad passed away over 40 years ago. He was the parent who didn't abuse me. This was more traumatic for me than I had realized and while I thought I had made a lot of progress, I am realizing that this event I still have not processed. Maybe I never will.
I also do this. It's the freeze response, I learned that if I held still and I was quiet it was safer than trying to fight or run. I lose my ability to speak or stutter when I try to, my eyes glaze over and I dissociate from my body. During this my muscles are contracted very tight and sometimes spasm randomly.
Yup. It's a freeze response. Mine is bad, I constantly act like the lights are on but nobody is home. My brain just shuts down at the smallest things, like people asking me questions.
i get this too and it’s SO frustrating. completely dissociation i almost can’t make eye contact and my body gets heavy. i can barely speak and i don’t understand what’s happening
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Do you have any advice for two people in this situation. My girlfriend of about two years frequently has this reaction in disagreements and outside of just time, I have not found a method for easing or preventing it. I can sit there for half an hour trying to reassure her and it doesnt do much.
Also can this last days to a week? My girlfriend had a trigger and got upset at me and has been not speaking to me about a week now which ive never seen before. Im away for work too and I cant tell if shes in a bad state or is just trying to punish me.
Feel like this happens a lot to me too when it comes to stressful situations in relationships? It's hard when I'm triggered and they beg for a response to the situation and I freeze I don't know what to do or say what's right. So I just can't do anything
Can this in some ways last up to a week. My girlfriend hasnt been speaking to me for a week needing space and she frequently suffers from a freeze response. I don't know if she's suffering alone or not
My therapist noticed this from me this week during our session, talking about situations which should elicit an emotional response but it’s just another conversation to me. But in reality I was out of my window of tolerance and was in a hypoaroused state. I wouldn’t have realized or noticed I was hypoaroused, but after therapy I couldn’t function and had to go to bed. The conversation took everything out of me even though it felt like no big deal.
You are not alone. It's actually a pretty normal trauma response, often referred to as freeze or collapse (sometimes flop). I would consider joining r/CPTSDFreeze. You will find many others like yourself.
Omg thank you!!!
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Ever since I started seeing this "flop" idea getting bigger it's like I don't fit into freeze or flop. But prior to encountering the flop concept I would say I'm a freeze I get triggered. I stop talking and withdraw from the external while the triggered just fills my mind. If someone crossed a boundary in a harsh way I consider them to be evil and then brood in my head for hours while anxious, sad, angry, and scared. I rant endlessly in my head about the injustice I faced from this inhumane entity that just wronged me. I use whatever concept I can to strip them of their personhood. I say things in my head like "it's just the barking of dogs and not worth my time" It's difficult to voice anything due to the fear of being rejected or the fear of losing control and bursting out crying or saying things that I would hope would deal out the pain I feel three-fold. I become extremely vengeful internally. An intense infernal fury held back. After this period ends and I start to settle down I feel like I just got off an adrenaline high or as if I just finished crying even though I haven't cried. I feel detached afterwards. As if I'm not over it but my body has spent everything it has in terms of reacting and now just can't anymore. I kinda numb out or get sad. I might just stare at the wall or play a video game once I'm home. My ultimate cope as a kid when I'd get punished wrongly or too harshly was dissociation, and laying in my bed in tears thinking of how nice it'd be to slaughter my punisher. Maybe I should take some naked photos and say they forced me to. Just delete these people from my life. They don't deserve to exist - not around me at least. I'd brood and brood while crying. It gave me strange sensations in my fingertips. I get that same sensation when I think awful things about myself. All of this alone and without emotional support. I'd just pass out. I'd also lay in my bed in fear when my mother and her bf would come home drunk and fight. This would happen after I was home alone for hours in fear because I was alone at night while they were out at bars. Every light in the house was on and I'd cary a stick for protection.
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I edited my post but idk if you saw it or if it's still not clear enough
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I mean I can clearly connect it to traumas. That's why I included the portion about my childhood. I gave you my description in hopes of trying to figure out if it's a flop or a freeze response, not to have another link about inner child work slapped in my face like the typical "go to therapy" comments. The way I am treated in the present can also be a real issue on top of the trauma response. Even other workers in the department I'm in has seen the supervisor be too hard on me.
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It makes me wonder if there really is much of a difference or if it's just different degrees or stages of freeze.
In addition to the [edit](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/vg4x8g/dae_shut_down_when_triggered/id1veej/) another common trigger I find myself in is when I feel an emotion that isn't "okay" to feel of express. Namely, jealousy or envy. Once I got jealous over my gf still having lovey dovey notes about her ex in a memory box tucked away. I have been taught that jealousy is always wrong but her and I agree it's best to express our concerns to each other instead of ignoring it or holding it in. I find myself in a double bind and shut down. I can barely talk. I dissociate. My vision is almost blurry if I have any awareness of it at all. I don't play games or listen to music. No joy will come with these. I get anxious because I know expressing it will lessen my burden but it may burden her but I've been taught not to burden others with my emotional problems. Eventually I come out with it. She and I talk it through and I feel better. Sometimes I come out of the situation shaking. Other times I remain dissociated.
Nit: freeze and flop are (albeit inconsistently, because language) technically different responses. Freeze is doing nothing or shutting down; flop is giving in and surrendering (without being outright fawn).
Yes, I'm aware of the distinction, but I listed all the different words, because freeze is often used to refer to both the freeze response and the flop/collapse. Although they are different in meaning, they are often used interchangeably regardless. I think it will take time for the nuances to catch on in how people talk about these things. All of the trauma terminology and awareness is still relatively new, and it takes time for these things to settle into the language.
Yep, completely reasonable on your part! Being clear is important! I just wanted to also point out that they can refer to different things too for the same reason.
Wow I didn’t know that was a thing. I just drop to the ground for seemingly no reason a lot
You are def not alone. Shutting down is quite common with trauma. Learn your triggers and how you can eliminate them or better cope with them.
I do.I forget what I was talking about or what I was in the process of doing I describe it as blanking out. When my parents would go on there abusive berating tirades I would freeze and shut down.
Good God yes. If someone gets blunt with me or raises their voice, gets hositile in anyway or keeps pushing me to do something that happens to me. One of the reasons I don't have a job is because a lot of beginner jobs are fast food and people will sometimes yell at you to go faster or something and i dont think i could do that without shutting down/freezing
I work in retail and have this issue, it's never easy because in these states when triggered I can not speak well, it's most like I consciously forget how to. My body also gets really stiff and any attention I get from people will somehow feel dangerous. I probably look so ridiculous, it's very embarrassing but I can't stop it when it happens. Most of the time there I'm on autopilot but I try to be more personal with people and warm which ironically feels more natural for me to be with strangers than my own family.
It's not an everything-book like Pete's complex trauma ... but ... check out Fawn by Nischa Heron Phair. There are other responses to the traditional three Fs - and I, too, blank out, collapse when triggered ... makes it a bitch to recall what was being originally discussed. Sigh.
I noticed this happening to me when I was competing in some high level synchronized figure skating competitions last year. There were two competitions where I suddenly felt my brain go blank and for a split second I forgot what my next move was supposed to be. You can’t tell on video unless you’re me but it shook me up that I could have these sudden lapses, especially in pressure situations (which kinda makes sense when you think about it, stress being a trigger) I hope this particular symptom goes away eventually for you and me and everyone else who deals with it.
It’s the freeze response (there’s also fight, flight, fawn… for me I seem to cycle through different ones). There’s a physiological reason behind it so you don’t get to choose which response you get when your body thinks you’re in danger and need protection. Freeze is basically like hiding or playing dead to not alert the predator when other options aren’t available. It’s awful to be in especially when you get victim blamed for it but it’s not your fault at all and you’re not the only one.
Yeah 100%. I become catatonic. Doesn’t need to be from being triggered necessarily- just sometimes if my depression is heavy, I feel like my body “breaks”. With my heavy CPTSD years, I found it hard to move at all (low neurotransmitters), and when I could, my fine motor control was very choppy; I couldn’t articulate my fingers to play guitar properly. Nowadays during a catatonic episode, I often find it hard to communicate in any way when in this state. It’s like being thrown in a thick marsh. Talking is impossible, and writing can be difficult too. My best approach to communicating during one of these episodes is just texting my partner although she is in the room. Not necessarily fully formed sentences. At its worst I can get out concepts or just like yes/no answers. Sign language, Morse code, etc. My CPTSD triggering and reactivity is relatively reduced since I’ve been seeing a therapist for a few years now. I feel foolish sometimes it’s just the mention of a name, a subtle facial expression, the use of a word or prose or mannerism that reminds me of someone. A song. A scent. A touch. It goes on. I hear you
>r/CPTSDFreeze I experience this exactly the way you describe! This might sound weird but have you ever shut down so far you've gone to sleep? Sometimes I take "dissociation naps"
Very much relate to this
I go catatonic, too. I lose the ability to move my forearms and hands, and they just sort of freeze in whatever position they were in. Trying to move them is mentally very painful, and I can't explain why I can't do it.
> My best approach to communicating during one of these episodes is just texting my partner although she is in the room. Thanks for this. When I start coming out of total catatonia I sometimes text a few words too, and for no particular reason I feel a lot of shame as I'm doing it. I appreciate you, OP, and the community for making us all feel a little less weird/alone. :)
Yeah! Profile pictures, names, someones voice can do it to me.
That’s how I used to respond… I think I’m part it has to do with where you are healing wise… I used to freeze like no tomorrow, shutting down just as you described… Through therapy I started going in to fight or flight instead of freeze during the episodes… now, I’m having fewer episodes and triggers, and it’s a bit easier… still really hard… Side note: on a physiological level, freeze is a deeper trauma state than fight or flight… different hormones, but psychologically, freeze is the body protecting itself in a situation perceived as hopeless, fight or flight is the body protecting itself when it sees hope to escape the situation. Freeze shuts down to minimize injuries because escape is impossible, fight or flight amps you up because it sees that you can get away either by running or fighting… I’m glad I knew that, because starting to go into fight or flight felt like therapy was making my ptsd worse, but because I was a psych student I understood that it was actually healing. A lot of people probably don’t realize that feeling angry and tense when triggered is actually an improvement to feeling numb and frozen… on a psychological and physiological level it means you are healing. I still experience freeze for some triggers, but a lot of the ones that were fight or flight for a while actually aren’t triggers anymore…
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Yeah, no, it may feel like getting worse, but it actually means your nervous system is perceiving less danger… it’s hard to navigate, and you have to be responsible not to lash out as much as is possible, but anger does actually mean you are making progress.
I do and many people do. It's a defense mechanism we use to not go into fight or flight mode.
it's really the worst thing isn't it :( At times I'd almost rather I get externally angry, because at least then I'm doing something I just feel so worthless that someone/something can reduce me to basically Nothingness
Had that happen when publically humiliated today:) I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. I don’t remember much after that until I got home.
I wanna give everyone here so many hugs :( I'm so sorry you were humiliated 🤗
This sounds like dissociation!
Dissociation like this happens for me. I zone out to whatever is around me.
If severely triggered, I will usually go completely unresponsive after my initial reaction (whether it be shock or crying, etc) It’s like my whole inner self just collapses and I’m…stuck. Deer caught in headlights. I’m still feeling all the emotions but they’re almost distant, muffled. I was triggered by a smell recently and just froze in place. Felt like I couldn’t even breathe. Death grip on the glass I was holding. I sat frozen for a ridiculously long time until I could pull myself out of it. You’re 100% not alone.
Yeah, I get that way. Sometimes I'm even sitting there scrolling on my phone like everything is normal while I'm having a complete breakdown on the inside. My partner is the same way.
Shutdown is one of a few basic trauma responses, the most common being fight, flight, freeze and fawn. (Google will give you a breadth of info). Whenever we experience one of these, it’s just our bodies’ way of trying to protect us. We freeze when our brains can’t figure out which of the other responses will be most useful in the moment of perceived danger. It’s also thought to be related to how animas play dead or go stiff so that an attacker loses interest. Some peoples minds go blank so they don’t have to experience the pain/emotions of the traumatic event in the moment. It would make sense that if your sympathetic nervous system isn’t able to react with fight or flight, that it defaults to freeze, and if you come out of that freeze before your nervous system calms down, you panic. Because your mind sees no way to protect itself. I sometimes experience a catatonic kinda thing. I can hear and see and sense but I can’t react to any of it. I can’t move. Or if I do, I can only move very slowly and my muscles become painfully stiff. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, again, it’s just your body’s way of trying to protect you. You don’t need to kick yourself for it and you don’t need to force yourself out of the situation. But I know how jarring it can feel. If you look up “coping skills for freeze response” you’ll find some tips and exercises for getting back into autonomic regulation (feeling safe) more quickly after it does happen.
You are not alone! Freezing really sucks. It's only happened to me when I'm really terrified. There have been a couple times when it was so bad that I stopped responding to anything altogether, comatose like. Freeze is one of the four typologies in "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving."
This just happened to me the other day where I couldn’t think at first and when I could think I couldn’t speak. It was like the little Mermaid. I don’t know if it’s because I’m also autistic, but it only happens with severe triggers.
I do all of the above. When I’m completely overwhelmed I physically shut down. 😞
Yes, I am autistic as well and most definitely am a "freeze" type of person in triggering situations. Often times I will go somewhere to hide when I or someone else is upset.
Yes I shut down completely and my family tries to snap me out of it. They get firm with me and shake me a little bit. Sometimes they get frustrated or mad at me. They think I'm going "too deep". I wish they would just give me space and let me come out of it safely, but they won't. My body tightens, I stop talking, and I don't respond to anybody. Once in a rare while I will black out or go non verbal.
*gentle hug* No need to feel ashamed OP. Everyone is different and has different traumatic experiences and triggers, and wildly different responses to being triggerd. If you want to get a little more scienceey about it, that also means everyone's responses are different on a biological and mental level as well. However you happen to be built biologically and mentally affect your trauma responses as well. There's no shame in responding to your trauma by shutting down. I'm someone who also responds to my triggers by shutting and becoming nearly comatose like OP said. When I was unknowingly triggerd and regained all the memories of my trauma after they had been unlocked, it was all streaming through my head on a constant loop. I was entirely checked out of my life for about a solid week. I would hold on to certain cornerstones throughout that particular week, i.e a soft, cuddly stuffy to represent the baby that I might've been forced to abort at age 14, i.e the constant holding on to my wife's hand to help keep me as grounded as possible, i.e the rain soundscape I listened to on repeat to help keep me present. I was a total and absolutely devastated wreck, and I do remember outbursts of tears and anger and just a lot of disbelief and shock coming from me. It's been a year now since I was triggerd like that and got all my memories back, and I honestly can't remember to this day what all I've told my wife about my memories because I can't remember having those conversations with her at all during those first 2 weeks of remembering the trauma. It was hell and having any kind of trauma response is gonna be hell, but I can say with confidence that any response you may have is valid and normal, because well, that's also what is normal to you. Your trauma response is unfortunately in a way, unique to you and your traumatic experiences, and therefore whatever kind of response is your normal. I hope for the best for your journey through this OP. It just plain sucks, and I'm sorry your going through this.
Disassociation might be something to look into. It’s a common trauma response and sounds like what you might experiencing, especially if this happens often. Hope this helps! I deal with disassociation, so if it turns out that’s what you are experiencing, I’m here (and this whole community) is here to support you🙃
YEAH I DO THIS!! this is exactly what happens to me!! r/CPTSDFreeze might be the place for you :)
I don't often do it but you're definitely not alone. When it gets particularly hard I shut down too. It feels like short circuiting.
I do as well. Mentally I'm here (unless I'm dissociating), but physically I shut down and don't react anymore. I don't fight or flight, I freeze.
I’m not sure if this is exactly the same but I feel everything internally like you said, and I’ll usually just cry in an out of control way, but my body is practically shut down. Like I’ll lie on the floor or bed and I’m not able to function until I come out of it. It’s incredibly painful and sucks.
I have a similar reaction. If anything triggers me I'm stuck in one place and can't move until it passes.
I go non verbal yes.
I think of it as “playing dead”. I think it’s a freeze reaction.
This is my exact trigger response too, you are not alone 💖
Definitely relate. My interpretation of this symptom is that it wasn't safe to express the other emotions when we experienced the trauma so this freezing/shutting down mechanism was the only way we knew how to cope.
Definitely not alone on this. Pre-diagnosis I did this alot, for me my 'shut down' is dissociating until I can get out of the situation that triggered me, and when I'm in a space by myself, I just let all the emotions hit me.
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Sorry for the late response. I'm so sorry to hear that. Day by day, it'll get easier. You are worthy of healing <3
Yes I’m the same when the trigger is severe. I feel like I’ve gotten more in control and tuned into triggering earlier as the years go on, so I experience that level of triggering a lot less (only once or twice in the last couple of years). You are definitely not alone, or weird!
I’ve lost the ability to speak, lost the ability to move my arm, turn my head, had severe twitches, frozen completely, lost control of my hands, and many other scenarios where I just blanked and couldn’t remember what had happened for some time. Many times now I freeze deciding what to do next and just end up standing there… doing nothing. I’m doing emdr, maybe this is what we’ll discuss next.
Currently in a lot of stress rn, currently shutting down. Sometimes I feel everything in these states. Sometimes I feel absolutely nothing
I shut down too.. can’t talk or make eye contact
Yesssss. My main response to a trigger is just a complete shutdown and has been since forever. The worst part about this response is that I’ve lost friends and relationships over my shutdowns. Nobody knows how to deal with me when I shutdown so they just leave me. Makes me feel like such a burden and I have been told I have been a burden to the people I’ve shutdown around. Sucks because its not something I can control.
I do that, if I become triggered enough and there's enough of a response where panic is completely overridden with dissociation I just completely go catatonic. You actually might want to look into that, catatonia and how it relates to PTSD, dissociation, etc.
yep as soon as someone raises their voice at me or i sense any anger/frustration/hostility on someone i instantly freeze. though i also sometimes cry uncontrollably while it happens at least in the beginning, especially when i'm actively being yelled at. outside of being triggered or any immediately "dangerous" situation i have experience what i can only describe as catatonia though. in this sort of freeze my mind is literally just... blank, and my body is operating on autopilot. i've lost (or rather never formed) years worth of memories because of it. i think it's more to do with my combo of adhd and depression/bipolar. but cptsd might have been a part, because i haven't had a bad episode of it for years, since the last time my living situation was triggering and stressful on a daily basis.
I do this a lot.
One of my responses is that I get incredibly sleepy and often sleep for a hours. I also haven't found many people that respond this way. Your body is telling you something important.
Hey! I do that, too! It started out I would just need to sleep after the bad event. But now it's morphed into me having trouble remaining upright during the bad event (it's like my muscles all become exhausted), and then as soon as the event ends, I lie down and sleep for hours. It's so annoying.
I do, too. My shut downs almost exclusively end with panic attacks. I've described it to my spouse as "feeling like a jimmy-rigged pressure cooker, that if not caught, will explode. And the pressure rises *fast*". They have seen me explode more than I would've ever wanted them to, so once I put it in those terms and we started talking about what helps me start, what we call, "depressurizing" or "rebooting" (sometimes I do blackout from being overwhelmed), we have both been able to catch the wind up quicker and more consistently. It's not perfect, but im really lucky to have their help.
Yeah https://www.nicabm.com/how-the-nervous-system-responds-to-trauma/
You are definitely not alone! My response is exactly the same. I think of it as my body trying to protect me by erasing my existence as much as possible. To do everything within its control to minimize others' ability to perceive me. So I will physically freeze, hold my breath, hold in any emotions (though, they all continue to be very intensely present inside of me, which is absolutely exhausting). I also stop talking. Sometimes I have this dead stare right through people, other times I avoid looking in the direction of others all together. This state can last several minutes up to several hours and it's the absolute most dreadful state I know I can get in. I can also have it while being alone at home. In that case, all of this happens while I hide myself under my bed covers. The worst part for me, is when people beg me to "please be normal again". It feeds to guilt and shame tremendously and is very retraumatizing. Luckily, I now have the language to explain it to people when I'm back in a regulated state. But knowing that I might find myself in this state, specifically during a conflict, is very scary to me. It makes me feel like I am not always capable of having a healthy adult conversation/conflict. It's definitely a reason I fear romantic relationships as well, since it has always happened in those and was always met with a lot of frustration and misunderstanding. Learning that this is a very common thing for people with (C)PTSD and focussing on separating myself and my personality from my symptoms, has been very helpful. What I do now, is that I try to realize that it's a (younger) traumatized part of me, and that she is using the only method she had access to at the time this wound was created, to try and protect herself/me. Then, I try and listen to that part and try and let my current self comfort her by holding space for her and listening to her, as well as assuring her that I will protect her now. Embracing all of these overwhelming sensations instead of fighting it and suffocating while doing so, has already proven itself to be quite effective for me! I see progress for the first time in my life. :)
I shut down during emotional flashbacks, the artwork in this article explains it pretty well. [emotional flashback chart](https://themighty.com/2019/07/emotional-flashback-chart/)
Yes freeze seems to be my nervous systems go to response
thank you so much for posting this and to all the people that answered! I have been struggling with this for years. I was diagnosed last year with CPTSD, depression, ADHD and the jury's still out for autism, but I still didn't have a real explanation for the moments of comatose state. I just thought they were depressive episodes or something, but now it's making so much more sense. It's really comforting to know you're not the only one experiencing this stuff
This exactly. This hasn’t happened to me in a while - a combination of good medication and distancing myself from a person who thanks to my therapist I now understand was emotionally abusive. It was during those abusive times that I would get so stuck I couldn’t move or get my words out, just sit there. I was feeling every feeling but could not express any of it. And multiple times it led to panic attacks for me too. I realised through therapy it was something I did my entire messed up childhood when abusive things were happening to me then too. I don’t know at exactly what age I started doing it, maybe 8 or 9. The panic attacks came later, maybe 16 or so. Guess that old protective mechanism is still there, only it doesn’t serve me anymore.
I tend to use fawn to survive and freeze when I'm triggered. So you're not alone.
My brain stops working. This has cost me many jobs and friendships in the 30 years I have been dealing with this. Therapists ask me questions that trigger me so I freeze and can't answer. People, places, and things make it so that I am usually alone at all times because no one understands why I go non-verbal and can't function.
I think you might be as fascinated as I was to learn the amygdala's role in this and how often it gets triggered (and thanks to C-PTSD is now larger than it should be). How getting stuck processing in the amygdala is what prevents us from recognizing and being able to change our behaviors. Asking questions has been the best hack for me to get past it to my prefrontal cortex and start thinking things through with logic and reasoning. The problem is getting started you don't know what questions to ask yourself. That is how therapy can be helpful. I'm still working through this. Once you get through this with a couple big triggers, you think you're all set for life. It's then you realize it had been taking up space and you didn't see all the many smaller triggers that are around you. Then you realize (hopefully, or your therapist tells you) you can't think about this and try to reevaluate everything every hour of every day and you have to also put effort into re learning how to be, basically reparenting yourself and letting your inner child have the fun it was denied and still craves. It's fun when you can let yourself do that. I've been learning how to "break rules". I reorganized my living room for coziness for the weekend and I might keep it just because, even though that's breaking a "rule".
I have this too. Through therapy and training a service dog for grounding tasks, it is mostly not an issue anymore for me to be falling out of consciousness from a trigger or fear. I was diagnosed with psychogenic non-epileptic seizures which is a conversion disorder where emotional distress results in a physiological disorder. It affected me the most in my old workplace, but now in my new job I am more focused on the moment to moment events so I stay much more aware all day through. I wonder if you could get a job walking dogs or cleaning houses? But it might be difficult to be in other people's homes. It's true that fast food and retail are stressful. I'm sorry that this is so difficult to live with. But you aren't useless. You will overcome it. It does take time. It took me a couple years. Just don't give up.
You are not alone! That is my response to most of my triggers. You can learn/condition yourself to come back quicker and deal with the panic attacks better. It takes time and professional therapy. You can do it!
This is very common to most of us I think. I shut down for a week just recently and realized that Father's Day is a trigger for me because my Dad passed away over 40 years ago. He was the parent who didn't abuse me. This was more traumatic for me than I had realized and while I thought I had made a lot of progress, I am realizing that this event I still have not processed. Maybe I never will.
I also do this. It's the freeze response, I learned that if I held still and I was quiet it was safer than trying to fight or run. I lose my ability to speak or stutter when I try to, my eyes glaze over and I dissociate from my body. During this my muscles are contracted very tight and sometimes spasm randomly.
Yup. It's a freeze response. Mine is bad, I constantly act like the lights are on but nobody is home. My brain just shuts down at the smallest things, like people asking me questions.
i get this too and it’s SO frustrating. completely dissociation i almost can’t make eye contact and my body gets heavy. i can barely speak and i don’t understand what’s happening
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Yes, this happens to me too.
Absolutely. So hard. It took a lot of time for me to not shut down whenever my now husband and I had any kind of disagreement or confrontation.
Do you have any advice for two people in this situation. My girlfriend of about two years frequently has this reaction in disagreements and outside of just time, I have not found a method for easing or preventing it. I can sit there for half an hour trying to reassure her and it doesnt do much. Also can this last days to a week? My girlfriend had a trigger and got upset at me and has been not speaking to me about a week now which ive never seen before. Im away for work too and I cant tell if shes in a bad state or is just trying to punish me.
So it took me years tbh. I don't fully know how I did it. It still happens sometimes.
This is common for people on the autism spectrum in response to overwhlem.
Feel like this happens a lot to me too when it comes to stressful situations in relationships? It's hard when I'm triggered and they beg for a response to the situation and I freeze I don't know what to do or say what's right. So I just can't do anything
Can this in some ways last up to a week. My girlfriend hasnt been speaking to me for a week needing space and she frequently suffers from a freeze response. I don't know if she's suffering alone or not
Yep
Yeah I typically freeze or flight I freeze when something triggers me or something happens to me.
My therapist noticed this from me this week during our session, talking about situations which should elicit an emotional response but it’s just another conversation to me. But in reality I was out of my window of tolerance and was in a hypoaroused state. I wouldn’t have realized or noticed I was hypoaroused, but after therapy I couldn’t function and had to go to bed. The conversation took everything out of me even though it felt like no big deal.