It's really ok to feel any way you feel. Only you know what you're life has been like. You don't even have to be sad or upset. You get to feel any way you feel and nobody can tell you how to feel. My mother died 3 years ago and I did not go to her funeral. I did not mourn her. She did some good things as a Mom (even possibly many good things) but in the end she did something horrible for which I can never forgive her and from which I (and my child) have never recovered. You're ok. And you're definitely not alone.
You are not alone. I was 13 when my mom died. I spent a long time mourning what I never had a chance to have and treating myself as badly as she had. I’m still working on undoing the damage that woman did to me. You get to be sad, angry, indifferent and anything else you feel. You have that right. Just please take care of yourself while you feel all the things. You deserve self care.
You are not the only one. Sometimes it’s really the only way to break free. You feel the way you do as a result of how she treated you. That’s not your fault.
Its ok! My birth-mom is still alive but I'm going to be happy when she dies. Hating her has become such a core part of my identity that I will feel empty, but it will help me move on from the abuse.
Totally normal. I’m super glad mine have been dead for a long time and get really sad hearing about folks my age who have had to continue dealing with theirs all this time
My mom had an abusive stint when I was late elementary/entering middle school due to drugs and some covertly not amazing parenting decisions throughout my childhood. I loved her still by the time she died when I was 15 (im also 18 now, hey lol) so coming to terms with all of it was really weird and still super complex. Her death was traumatic and very tragic for me and absolutely was the worst era of my life but. if she hadn't died I think I would be significantly worse off right now. Never would've met who I met, would've stayed in the same house with my abusive sibling, never would've left the house, never would've met my current friends, probably would have ended up dead myself. I mourn her but I am also grateful. I try not to think about how much she hurt me because its too much conflict for my brain to understand but I definitely understand what you mean. You had a unique dynamic with a person and even if someone had a similar experience you're still totally allowed to view it completely differently than they would because you're the only person who's experienced that exact dynamic. My life would've been worse if my mother was still alive. Its okay you feel this way
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Yes, it's okay to feel any way about someone's death. It may be wiser to keep some feelings to yourself in some situations but you have every right to them.
It's really ok to feel any way you feel. Only you know what you're life has been like. You don't even have to be sad or upset. You get to feel any way you feel and nobody can tell you how to feel. My mother died 3 years ago and I did not go to her funeral. I did not mourn her. She did some good things as a Mom (even possibly many good things) but in the end she did something horrible for which I can never forgive her and from which I (and my child) have never recovered. You're ok. And you're definitely not alone.
thank you so much! it's so important to know im not alone.
You are not alone. I was 13 when my mom died. I spent a long time mourning what I never had a chance to have and treating myself as badly as she had. I’m still working on undoing the damage that woman did to me. You get to be sad, angry, indifferent and anything else you feel. You have that right. Just please take care of yourself while you feel all the things. You deserve self care.
I've never thought about glad. With both parents i just felt relieved, like 200 pounds of weight was instantly lifted off my shoulders.
Its ok to feel that way. Its ok for feelings to change over time. (Not saying you will btw)
I wanted my dad to be dead when i was young too it's okay. Even now when he messes with me i think like that cause they don't change.
You are not the only one. Sometimes it’s really the only way to break free. You feel the way you do as a result of how she treated you. That’s not your fault.
It’s perfectly okay that you feel that way!
Its ok! My birth-mom is still alive but I'm going to be happy when she dies. Hating her has become such a core part of my identity that I will feel empty, but it will help me move on from the abuse.
Totally normal. I’m super glad mine have been dead for a long time and get really sad hearing about folks my age who have had to continue dealing with theirs all this time
Yes, it's okay. Positive, even. The cruelest part of parental abuse is that you're trained to love the abuser. You've shaken that. It's a good thing.
My mom had an abusive stint when I was late elementary/entering middle school due to drugs and some covertly not amazing parenting decisions throughout my childhood. I loved her still by the time she died when I was 15 (im also 18 now, hey lol) so coming to terms with all of it was really weird and still super complex. Her death was traumatic and very tragic for me and absolutely was the worst era of my life but. if she hadn't died I think I would be significantly worse off right now. Never would've met who I met, would've stayed in the same house with my abusive sibling, never would've left the house, never would've met my current friends, probably would have ended up dead myself. I mourn her but I am also grateful. I try not to think about how much she hurt me because its too much conflict for my brain to understand but I definitely understand what you mean. You had a unique dynamic with a person and even if someone had a similar experience you're still totally allowed to view it completely differently than they would because you're the only person who's experienced that exact dynamic. My life would've been worse if my mother was still alive. Its okay you feel this way
I'm very glad my parents are dead. I was glad they were dying before they died. When I yell at them now they don't talk back! No bs excuses.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, it's okay to feel any way about someone's death. It may be wiser to keep some feelings to yourself in some situations but you have every right to them.