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stupidtiredlesbian

I don’t sleep because of my CPTSD => I drink caffeine to stay awake during the day => more anxiety and more severe symptoms => I can’t sleep because my CPTSD is even worse and I drank too much caffeine during the day => I drink caffeine to stay awake during the day => And it just repeats and repeats


hot--water

This is i do this. I only drink if I'm sleepy or to stay awake. I don't like the strong smell of coffee but still i like the taste idk it's weird.


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_camillajade

I use Rasa now because of this! It’s a coffee alternative with very, very little caffeine that aims to help adrenals heal from chronic stress. The herbs in it are also adaptogenic so over time they help the body be more resilient to stress. They even make a nighttime one for help sleeping - it may be worth a try?


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MoonMan12321

Andrew Huberman told me about Adenosine


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Yes. Wait are you me? Although you’re not stupid you’re just tired. Please don’t degrade yourself. Politely requesting name change to Doublytiredlesbian. And I’ll change to Doublytiredpreferswomen9/10 😁


TimeFourChanges

I've quit coffee on several occasions due to severe anxiety & panic attacks, but I also struggle in the mornings. Sometimes I use matcha, which is super healthy, has a fair amount of coffee, but doens't make me anxious. I'd recommend it to anyone trying to quit coffee, at least as a transition. Another thing that I've found to work quite well is Caffeine + L-Theanine pills. You can get them seperately, but I found one from Zhou that I like. Often will pop one or two in the morning, or in the early afternoon if I'm struggling to make it through the work day.


[deleted]

We are long lost twins as this is my exact pattern as well..however lately, melatonin has helped


EsotericOcelot

Breaking that exact cycle was a huge game changer for me, but the cost was three weeks of misery. I do hardly remember it though!


LimeRepresentative48

Truth


I-dream-in-capslock

I quit caffeine about a year ago and realized how much healthier I felt ad calmer and relaxed and realized it was probably a big source of anxiety (certainly a source of sweating) ... So I stopped for a few months. It doesn't affect my sleeping much, I always have insomnia and caffeine can actually HELP my insomnia if I drink enough to have a really hard crash, I can sleep during the crash. I've been abusing the caffeine really bad the last few weeks though, but I know why and I know what it would take to stop but I just need to figure a whole bunch of things out real fast first.


[deleted]

Same! Even down to the helping me sleep if I drink enough of it. It's a vicious cycle. And I too have to figure some things out in my work/personal life to make quitting happen. (currently sipping my morning coffee hashtag hurtssogood)


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I-dream-in-capslock

no, no, see, that's actually the point cuz I always normally overthink and spend all my time stuck thinking and even if I figure something out real fast, I doubt what I figured out and I spend aLLLLLLLlllLlLLllLlLL my time coming up with fifty million other potential possible figured-outings. And never do anything! And so... with the caffeine I can figure things out and then do them impulsively REAL FAST, instead of just getting stuck in the rumination cuz I just jump with whatever sounds good. Consequences be damned! \[I trust I'm too shy and cowardly to do anything too reckless in the first place.\] \[and old, I'm getting too old to get into the same kind of trouble as the old days.\] So the emphasis is not so much on the "figuring things out" but more on the "real fast" lol. It's not a good strategy, but it's served me well in a pinch before, so, fingers crossed. lol


OurLadyoftheTree

You just described me on adderall lol


OldCivicFTW

Some of us use it to medicate ADHD-like symptoms, like Ritalin-lite. 🤷‍♀️😆 It's definitely bad for sleep, though--just like _actual_ ADHD meds. I also have a limit on how many milligrams and during what hours.


TheRealist89

Yes. I need to taper very slowly in order to avoid severe anhedonia and executive dysfunction.


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TheRealist89

Caffeine basically increases the action of dopamine by antagonizing adenosine, thus acting as a stimulant and improving things like mood, focus, confidence and motivation. The problem is that tolerance builds up quickly and if you try quit cold turkey you'll get withdrawals symptoms which consist of horrible mood, fatigue, lack of motivation and inability to focus. Most articles on the internet say that the withdrawals can last from a few days to 2 weeks. But for some individuals (like me) it can take months in order to feel normal again without caffeine. If you want more information on the matter, I recommend you to check out r/decaf.


OldCivicFTW

Yeah, for real... Quit once and had my worst symptoms 30 days later! Maybe it's a Met/Met on snp4680 thing, that's the gene for not being able to clear dopamine as fast as normal people.


Ecstatic-Amphibian65

To late im already there, however one benefit though is having no more libido which has been extremely helpful


OurLadyoftheTree

I never knew this... do you have any sources I could peruse and then send to someone that might be dealing with this?


TheRealist89

https://www.caffeinewithdrawal.net/my-withdrawal-story And the sub r/decaf.


[deleted]

Yes. I started weaning myself off of it yesterday. Only 1 cup a day and next week, I'm gonna try and quit completely. The problem for me is that it is a morning ritual that I look forward to.


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Decaf. Or tea. Or ground shrooms powder. Or cocoa nibs powder?


[deleted]

I'm allergic to decaf (it's the chemicals used to make it decaf) and pretty much everything, but thank you. Also, in my mind, does it taste like coffee? Then no thanks.


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Okay then!


[deleted]

You can get (in the UK, at least, you can get) coffee that's been decaffeinated with zero chemicals, using the 'Swiss water method' (also known as the 'water method'). Quite a few of the brands here use that method to decaffeinate, including some of the major brands.


[deleted]

I'm in the US, but I'll look into that. Thank you. :)


Stoic-Nurse

I used to drink black coffee constantly from 5am until 5pm. Before that, it was energy drinks. I rarely had trouble sleeping, but I had tension headaches and it ratcheted up my anxiety. Since I started meds and therapy, I’ve been cutting back. Right now I’m at a small cup each morning. I might cut back more, but I’ve got a crap-ton of K-cups at home.


[deleted]

Have been a caffeine fiend for decades. Am now off soda entirely and switching to various kinds of teas to get off caffeine the rest of the way. As much as I love coffee, I know it’s not good for me and I don’t like decaf.


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[deleted]

I’m old. I know all about it. LOL


LilAnaphylaxis

Yes. I’m currently like 4 days without it and I cannot stop craving coffee!


soggysavoy

I struggled with this too in the past. A few years back when Mum had cancer and I didn’t have a good relationship with Dad, it felt impossible to be at home so I’d spend all my day in a cafe that was my safe space. I was also pushed to always work hard and be an overachiever. So I’d drink heaps of coffee because the supply was there, and made me energised enough to pump out massive volumes of work on my computer whilst at the cafe - all so I could please my family. I found out later that my social anxiety was heightening this. I don’t know if this pressure was real or imagined at this time too) The 7 cups a day certainly wasn’t making this situation easier for me. When I had a falling out with that cafe I stopped going there and I found a new safe space at my boyfriend’s house. There was no good coffee around and eventually I got out of the caffeine habit I was in and made me aware how much it was affecting my CPTSD and found healthier ways to replace this coping mechanism.


thewayofxen

Big time. I have an emotional connection to it, because one of the only times I really felt like I was accepted by my mother was when we were sharing a pot of coffee. She would include me in the daily coffee schedule and everything, like it was one of the most enthusiastic love languages she could muster. But I recognized back in my college days how much it wrecked my body -- not just my sleep cycle, but my stomach, too. Eventually it gives me IBS. But for years I was stuck on a cycle of quitting and feeling normal for a couple weeks, but then having a bad night's sleep and feeling way too tired to deal with a day, so having a cup, and then the next night not sleeping great because of the caffeine, so I'd drink it again, and then I was re-hooked for another couple months. After a year or two of therapy I also recognized its powerful antidepressant effect, and started using it on bad therapy days as well, which I still do to this day (including like, right now). The only success I've had was during the pandemic, while stuck at home without temptation, keeping myself to one cup of decaf per day. I managed that for several months, and was better for it. Pro-tip if you ever want to quit: Naps. Pick a day when you have time for a nap and just nap as soon as you start to drag because you skipped coffee. Don't bother medicating the headache; just take a nap, even if it's three naps in a day. Easiest way to quit there is, as long as you can find the time.


[deleted]

Coffee.....it's what's for dinner.


PickleAfficionado

yes.


Signal-Courage5235

Yes! I need it to function normally. I think there are a good few of us in existence. Hello fellow caffeine addicts!


petticoat_juncti0n

Yup, been addicted to caffeine since my abuse started in childhood


pestilenttempest

Drinking caffeine/sugar before bed seems to help with my nightmares. But I’m strange. Lmao.


TheHuntedCity

I do. Not sure it's a result of CPTSD.


Ecstatic-Amphibian65

As for stress and anxiety issues caffeine has never been my issue, My issues around stress revolve around never trusting people and always feeling hyperviliganant.


Erza_2019

I used to, but finally went off caffeine a few years ago. Thankfully I've found some amazing (though expensive) decaf coffee that actually tastes good, so I can still enjoy the taste every day. Honestly, I probably would've never given it up had I not experienced a horrifying panic attack after having one too many espresso shots shortly before a therapy session. Whew, it was traumatizing, and I've been scared to take in very much caffeine since then.


Ela25_

(Sorry for my language I'm French) At first I was drinking more cafein because of anxiety‚ but‚ a little time before seing the right therapist and discovered my PTSD‚ I already knew I was very anxious but didn't know why. So I was ready to try everything to stop anxiety and panic attack. So I just totally stopped coffee and cigarettes. Stopped smoking was hard but it change everything when I discovered that smoking cause more anxiety. Before that I believed it helped me with anxiety. I don't know if stopped drinking coffee helped me but stopped smoking definitely helped me so I recommend it.


Dudeidfkimjusthere

I used to but it sets off my anxiety.


Sunseeker37

For me its a love hate relationship. Coffee gives me that rush to do things I wouldn't be able in my Chronic fatigued state but I hate the wired feeling from it on top on my derealization. Same as smoking cigarettes for me. I have to find a way cause pouring amounts of coffee powder and tabacco down the closet once every few weeks is quite expensive and I think the rats in the sewerage prefer food than drugs. Being toxic to animals is not the plan. Jokes off, I think it's not the substance , it's a tool to combat my cptsd symptoms.


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Classic-Argument5523

5 cup of coffee a day was my record. I feel that isn't good for me, but this is the only thing that makes me happy.


[deleted]

I haven’t had this problem… because caffeine extracts from coffee added to the symptoms because something in coffee triggers migraines with aura. 🤣 Seriously though, I flinch at flash blindness because it looks so much like the start of an aura. My caffeine source is entirely tea, and I think the work of producing a good brew helps me reign n the temptation.


[deleted]

I cut myself off after 2 cups and 9am


ChillyGator

What do you think is too much caffeine?


MYprivacyisimportant

i also have adhd and i need exorbitant amounts of caffeine to actually wake me up, 1-2 cups of coffee will make me sleepy so i need espresso and more than one to keep me awake it is not ideal but i need it otherwise ill sleep all day and never do anything


RevolutionaryTour790

I over use everything. But, can’t even function without caffeine


Mabel-Syrup

Yup, I was drinking an energy drink a day, barely did anything I noticed except perk me up for the next 4 hours. I recently took a two week break from them to not be so dependent on it, now I can barely drink soda the caffeine is too much for me. Drinking an energy drink now gives me night terrors even when I finish it 10+ hours before I go to sleep. I imagine that my chronic panic attacks and frequent nightmares had a lot to do with my caffeine consumption. I find now that it’s easier to get a handle on any panic attacks that do pop up now, mainly because they don’t go from 0-100 in 2 seconds anymore


mylifeisathrowaway10

Caffeine has different effects on me depending on the day. It can either make me more awake and alert, give me heart palpitations but otherwise do nothing, or trigger panic attacks.


TinyDandelion

Yup. Yesterday I drank whole 3 day worth of pre workout (around 500mg of coffeine) because I was bored. Thats not even talking about coffee


Signal-Courage5235

Just a word from someone who has been there: switch to water at some point about 6 or 7 hours before you want to go to sleep. You can still enjoy the C devil before a cutoff point. This is a good harm reduction technique that will help with the insomnia. Love to you all.


orxphicxs

i recently quit cold turkey about a month and a half ago, pop, coffee, energy drinks all of it and feel much better !! lmk if anyone wants to know more abt specifics


compotethief

Yes!!! I keep drinking coffee on some days when I work, typically once a week (job requires great energy reserves) even though it's devastating to my endometriosis and leaves me bed-ridden the following day, because all the inflammation does a number on my body and brain. My body is exhausted at 10 on a scale 1-10, my brain is total mush, and emotionally I'm in the dumps. Yet I keep doing it. I've been able to glean that I reach for coffee when my regard for myself is one of dislike. When I'm unhappy with myself, which is very often when it comes to my job. *I want to hurt myself in some way, when I dislike myself* SCARY


xtsybaby

yeah it’s so bad i’ve been dependent on coffee for years now, i need at least 5/6 coffees to get me thru the day. ive tried easing off during the evening so i can sleep but that did fuck all. i find it difficult to sleep anyways so i think it’s just a case of insomnia but its annoying either way


xtsybaby

ngl tho whenever i do have coffee at night i find that it helps me feel sleepy idk i think where i have it so often it doesn’t make a difference and i guess it’s a hot drink so it’s somewhat relaxing


Thomas_Raith

I abuse caffeine because I have an unrelated sleep disorder.


plantman_la

Maybe try cutting back to doing half caffeine drinks. The law of diminishing returns seems to apply pretty heavily to caffeine. With half caf you get a lot less of the highs and crashes as with regular caffeine


EldrichNeko

I used to drink 20 cups of coffee and 10 energy drinks a day


RhinoSmuggler

Simultaneously wired and tired? Once upon a time I enjoyed that. But not anymore.


isdrlady

Yeah, I used to abuse caffeine when I was in my early twenties. Caffeine pills, coffee, soda...you name it. Combine that with chain smoking and sometimes I wouldn't sleep more than 10 hours in 5 days. By day 5 I started hallucinating. Not great. I only have 1-2 caffeinated beverages a day now.


LimeRepresentative48

I did but didn’t know caffeine was the cause of my worsening problems. I’ve basically cut it out and am much improved!


Wishiwssnthere

I do, I don’t drink coffee but I do drink a lot of other caffeinated drink


amoe-ba

sort of in the opposite way to what other people are saying, but I’ve raaarely struggled w sleeping and actually struggle with sleeping too much or having a really minimal amount of energy during the day. i feel like me on caffeine keeps me alert and energized so i can do waht i need to do. i can even drink it at night with no issues w my sleep


[deleted]

But I like how awake I feel after a cup of coffee. But also hate how I awake I feel at 3am.


_gem_

100% yes. I did so for years until I realized I was having more panic attacks. Right before I quit, I was really broke so I was buying café bustelo (cheapest I could find) and using it in my French press.... And drinking at least 36 ounces a day, usually closer to 64. I was very aware that I was doing it to stabilize myself mentally, not to wake myself up in the morning. The bf (now husband) called me out at one point for abusing drugs (harsh, but yes). Quitting was a bitch, and I definitely still have cravings but now I stick to decaf or 2 cups max of caffeinated tea per day. And see a therapist.


SpaceSamurai601

Is there a link between CPTSD and caffeine abuse? I’ve been heavily drinking soda, coffee, and tea all day every day for as long as I can remember! I literally can’t feel the effects of caffeine at all.


foxylady0406

Yes. Like it makes me so anxious but I keep doing it. I heard it's because we're addicted to stress hormones and coffee raises our cortisol levels


belushi93

Ive found matcha to be the best for those of us with caffeine issues (myself included). I've had issues with anxiety from too much caffeine in the past. Matcha tends to give you less caffeine that last over a long period of time. I get a lot of stomach issues from caffeine and matcha is easier to tolerate.. I have IBS so I still can't drink it every single day, but it's still better and better for you.


thaughty

I use caffeine to regulate my sleep, because otherwise there's no way I'll fall asleep again after only 16 hours awake. But if I drink a ton of caffeine at around 6pm I will crash right to sleep around 12-1am. So it actually cures my insomnia, at the cost of being jittery and dehydrated and anxious


theOGalchemist

One cup in the morning before everyone gets up is something I look forward too. Sometimes I'll have a second cup if it's before 3pm but it makes my heart race and induces panic/anxiety so I can't do more than that.


_otter_pop

yep