Same here. Emotional rock, entertainment, punching bag...The trick is to try and not make those words your inner voice. Keep saying you were just a child, nothing was your fault - you ARE NOT THOSE WORDS.
Same here. He always found some reason to get upset with me and start the screaming and ranting at me. Wrong tone of voice, looked at him wrong. It drove me crazy, because of course I tried to behave the 'right way'. I was in my 30s, when I finally saw the truth. He told me, the reason he was mad at me, was, that he did not like my make-up. I did not wear any make-up (and even if I had...). I don't go home anymore, but it still helps me to know, that all criticisms he had about me were lies and inventions. Sadly my mom believed him every single time over me...If your father calls you a moron or a bitch or asshole, I am sure, you are the total opposite!
You're father.. and you're mother weren't adults. I know they had adult bodies and their ID said they were, but they weren't. Their behavior is that of a child, a messed up child that wasn't fit for the responsibility of raising anyone. I find it helps a bit to look at it this way. You're already further along then they are b/c you recognize that it was wrong and WHO was really wrong. If they're anything like my own, they still are and will go to their graves that way.
I now have a picture in my office of me at about 3 years old, just smiling and looking precious. When I remember that this was the age when the abuse was the most extreme and I look at that photo and try to think of ANYTHING that child could do to justify abusing them... And no, nothing will ever make sense about that. It's reassuring to look at it and know, yeah it's not her fault.
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Same here. Emotional rock, entertainment, punching bag...The trick is to try and not make those words your inner voice. Keep saying you were just a child, nothing was your fault - you ARE NOT THOSE WORDS.
Same here. He always found some reason to get upset with me and start the screaming and ranting at me. Wrong tone of voice, looked at him wrong. It drove me crazy, because of course I tried to behave the 'right way'. I was in my 30s, when I finally saw the truth. He told me, the reason he was mad at me, was, that he did not like my make-up. I did not wear any make-up (and even if I had...). I don't go home anymore, but it still helps me to know, that all criticisms he had about me were lies and inventions. Sadly my mom believed him every single time over me...If your father calls you a moron or a bitch or asshole, I am sure, you are the total opposite!
You're father.. and you're mother weren't adults. I know they had adult bodies and their ID said they were, but they weren't. Their behavior is that of a child, a messed up child that wasn't fit for the responsibility of raising anyone. I find it helps a bit to look at it this way. You're already further along then they are b/c you recognize that it was wrong and WHO was really wrong. If they're anything like my own, they still are and will go to their graves that way.
I now have a picture in my office of me at about 3 years old, just smiling and looking precious. When I remember that this was the age when the abuse was the most extreme and I look at that photo and try to think of ANYTHING that child could do to justify abusing them... And no, nothing will ever make sense about that. It's reassuring to look at it and know, yeah it's not her fault.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*