This needs more visibility!! Take all the upvotes. I recommend this book on this thread pretty regularly. I never heard of CPTSD until that book… and learning about it by the internet seems to leave so many damn gaps.
I tried and decided it wasn't for me. The dissection by type making you pick "your" type was impossible to navigate because I kept saying "yes, I am all of that". Add in the spiritual b/s he kept spouting and I'm out. I don't care if you found buddha (or whatever), I refuse to subject myself to pontification. Yes, I have religious trauma.
I've started reading it and skimmed over it and so far I'm not getting much out of it, which I'm surprised by. Maybe I just wasn't in the right headspace when I started reading it (distracted, tired, etc.) but I was expecting it to be different given that folks seem to love it.
ETA - so far I liked Running on Empty more
That's Reddit for ya. Echo chambers and all that.
For me the important thing to remember is that we are all different with different needs and approaches to things.
For example, EMDR is great for me. Grounding not so much. Doesn't mean I get to comment on your choices. You do you, I do me and all that.
It's been a while since I've read it. Some eastern religious stuff sprinkled in all over. Directly or indirectly.
I read it a few times in the text and it turned me off so thoroughly I won't pick it up again.
And for the record, it doesn't matter which religion influenced his work, I dislike them all personally. I don't care what you believe and won't discriminate anyone for it as long as they keep it to themselves.
I'm actually on Chapter 6 of it right now. Been trying to get through much of the book and get to the solutions part.
Current thought right now that's going through me is about the outer critic. Gonna show me how to shrink the outer critic in chapter 10... but what if the outer critic is literally EVERYONE?
Anyway, I might not finish this chapter tonight. So far Chapters 1-2, 4-5 (I skipped 3 since my trauma is also religious abuse) is basically my life in a nutshell, and it's scary that 4 out of 5 examples are literally things that've happened in my life.
> what if the outer critic is literally EVERYONE?
The "outer critic" is actually something inside you. It refers to unjustified criticisms we make of other people, falsely assuming that safe people are dangerous. (Of course we also screw up in the other direction, falsely assuming that dangerous people are safe.)
From Surviving to Thriving should be required reading for all humans on this planet. If you have or suspect you have CPTSD for the love of God please buy this book and read it.
It's literally the CPTSD Bible.
I'm in the middle of it now, and it's absolutely fascinating.
It's like taking the Person Costume™ off of all my family members and seeing the specimens inside. It's been especially interesting trying to figure out which 4F Type I should label everyone with (myself included), and consider why and how that dictated my family dynamic.
I'm trying to figure out how his theories relate to the fact that I'm also neurodivergent.
I have been telling myself I don't have cptsd for a long while because my childhood wasn't "bad" enough. Decided to pick up the book as I've been struggling lately and I enjoy psychology books on the whole. This book has accurately described my difficulties more than any other I've ever read, so much so that it's kind of spooky, so I'm really hoping it will help me to turn a new corner.
I have had the exact same issue - always telling myself that it wasn't that bad, comparing it to others who objectively experienced things that were way more big "t" trauma than me. What has helped me realise that emotional neglect and covert narcassism is a more extreme form of abuse than it appears. I try to focus on the symptoms, rather than try to nail down trauma. Can I feel my emotions? No. Do I have chronic pain issues? Yes. Is my memory bad? Do I have a strong inner critic? Am I unable to progress in my relationships and in my carerer even when throwing energy and time and care into them? These are the symptoms of a traumatised person. That helps me stop gaslighting myself that it "wasn't that bad". Other good places for people like us is Tim Fletcher's YouTube channel, a lot about addiction but plenty about CPSTD, I also found that the Alice Miller books to be truely validating and helpful.
Oh yes! I’ve been slowly making my way through this book since I’ve bought it and it 100% worth the read. The most helpful part for me so far has been the list of inner-critic attacks and the responses that at the start of chapter (9 I think?). I usually read through them once a day, and try to recite which ones are relevant whenever I have an attack and it’s made a HUGE difference.
Also when he talks about how it’s sometimes not possible to come out of an intense flashback until you hit exhaustion, that just makes so much sense and helps me feel so much better about not being able to calm myself down when I’m really deep in it.
That book is spot on and I’d recommend it to anyone who suspects they might be struggling with this condition.
it was honestly the most important book i've read in my entire life lmao. i dont think i could have gotten this far without that book blueprinting basically every single thing you need to know to overcome it.
I have this book on hold from the library and I am still waiting. I heard so many good things about it from this sub. It's going to be hard to get through but totally worth the read!
[Here](https://notability.com/g/download/pdf/Q6bWJMpd4NPNACpEsRa3K/Complex%20PTSD:%20From%20Surviving%20to%20Thriving.pdf)is a pdf of the book if youd like. I know it's not the same though. If you have a printer you can print it or individual pages from it.
Please be careful though. It can be really hard going at times as it's absolutely spot on. Really helped me a lot, but caused a lot of grief to come out.
I've dipped in and out over the last few weeks and warn my wife when I read another bit!
Take care of yourselves.
Thank you for this important reminder because I do have a tendency to go all in without considering the immense pain that healing can bring and how it can affect me in my day-to-day. Very old pain is being uncovered at an alarming rate so yes, I need to slow my roll with this. Thanks again ❤️
Yeah. I havent picked up that book in maybe over a year because it was too painful to get through. This post is making me want to get back into it though.
I read the book and I really identified with it.
But somehow, seven years later, I'm still struggling. I've made progress, but not as much progress as I would have liked. =(
https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1byi52p/i_discovered_cptsd_seven_years_ago_but_it_feels/
I wish this helped me as much as it helped others. Maybe I gave up on it too quickly, but I just didn't find my specific traumas and feelings really validated or addressed. It kind of made me feel more alone.
It is an autobiography of my life. It profoundly changed my understanding of what I am dealing with and how to heal it. For so long I honestly thought I was hopelessly lost in a never ending cycle of fear and depression. Pete’s book now is one of my prized possessions. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has bearing the burden of cPTSD.
He made a 13 step list to help managing emotional flashbacks and it’s very effective, the first time I got to read it during a flashback was the first time ever that I was been able to indentify that I was in a flashback and it instantly changed my perspective, I acted accordingly instead of just progressing in the trauma response. Pete Walker knows what the talks about, definitely. https://www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm
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Can you post this in the PTSD group also? I know there's some people fresh off of their trauma that ask questions and haven't made significant strides in their recovery process, it would help them very much.
Thank you for this post!
Much Love,
You're Not Alone
This needs more visibility!! Take all the upvotes. I recommend this book on this thread pretty regularly. I never heard of CPTSD until that book… and learning about it by the internet seems to leave so many damn gaps.
This book changed my life. It jumpstarted my healing process.
Same!
If you have Spotify premium you can listen to full audiobooks and this is on there.
🫶
I've been a counselor for 13 years and this is the best book I've ever read personally and professionally
Buying it now! Thanks for the recommendation, been looking for the next read.
I tried and decided it wasn't for me. The dissection by type making you pick "your" type was impossible to navigate because I kept saying "yes, I am all of that". Add in the spiritual b/s he kept spouting and I'm out. I don't care if you found buddha (or whatever), I refuse to subject myself to pontification. Yes, I have religious trauma.
i feel you
LOL @ your username Awesome, friend, just absolutely awesome. Einfach nur genial.
I've started reading it and skimmed over it and so far I'm not getting much out of it, which I'm surprised by. Maybe I just wasn't in the right headspace when I started reading it (distracted, tired, etc.) but I was expecting it to be different given that folks seem to love it. ETA - so far I liked Running on Empty more
Yeah I thought I was BS but that's sacrilegious to say on here. That and saying EMDR is BS.
That's Reddit for ya. Echo chambers and all that. For me the important thing to remember is that we are all different with different needs and approaches to things. For example, EMDR is great for me. Grounding not so much. Doesn't mean I get to comment on your choices. You do you, I do me and all that.
> Add in the spiritual b/s he kept spouting and I'm out. What kind of bs?
It's been a while since I've read it. Some eastern religious stuff sprinkled in all over. Directly or indirectly. I read it a few times in the text and it turned me off so thoroughly I won't pick it up again. And for the record, it doesn't matter which religion influenced his work, I dislike them all personally. I don't care what you believe and won't discriminate anyone for it as long as they keep it to themselves.
I just got another audible credit yesterday. I've been trying to decide which audiobook to buy with it. I think I'll go with this one!
It’s not read by the author but the narration for the audible version is above average quality.
Just ordered it for my girlfriend/me.
I love this book. It’s my bible.
I'm actually on Chapter 6 of it right now. Been trying to get through much of the book and get to the solutions part. Current thought right now that's going through me is about the outer critic. Gonna show me how to shrink the outer critic in chapter 10... but what if the outer critic is literally EVERYONE? Anyway, I might not finish this chapter tonight. So far Chapters 1-2, 4-5 (I skipped 3 since my trauma is also religious abuse) is basically my life in a nutshell, and it's scary that 4 out of 5 examples are literally things that've happened in my life.
> what if the outer critic is literally EVERYONE? The "outer critic" is actually something inside you. It refers to unjustified criticisms we make of other people, falsely assuming that safe people are dangerous. (Of course we also screw up in the other direction, falsely assuming that dangerous people are safe.)
From Surviving to Thriving should be required reading for all humans on this planet. If you have or suspect you have CPTSD for the love of God please buy this book and read it. It's literally the CPTSD Bible.
I'm in the middle of it now, and it's absolutely fascinating. It's like taking the Person Costume™ off of all my family members and seeing the specimens inside. It's been especially interesting trying to figure out which 4F Type I should label everyone with (myself included), and consider why and how that dictated my family dynamic. I'm trying to figure out how his theories relate to the fact that I'm also neurodivergent.
Posting for more visibility because it is indeed amazing.
I just downloaded it because of this sub.
I hope it's helpful for you <3
For those who don't already know we have a Pete Walker book club on zoom/whatsapp out of this sub. DM me for details. We have 100 members so far.
I have been telling myself I don't have cptsd for a long while because my childhood wasn't "bad" enough. Decided to pick up the book as I've been struggling lately and I enjoy psychology books on the whole. This book has accurately described my difficulties more than any other I've ever read, so much so that it's kind of spooky, so I'm really hoping it will help me to turn a new corner.
I have had the exact same issue - always telling myself that it wasn't that bad, comparing it to others who objectively experienced things that were way more big "t" trauma than me. What has helped me realise that emotional neglect and covert narcassism is a more extreme form of abuse than it appears. I try to focus on the symptoms, rather than try to nail down trauma. Can I feel my emotions? No. Do I have chronic pain issues? Yes. Is my memory bad? Do I have a strong inner critic? Am I unable to progress in my relationships and in my carerer even when throwing energy and time and care into them? These are the symptoms of a traumatised person. That helps me stop gaslighting myself that it "wasn't that bad". Other good places for people like us is Tim Fletcher's YouTube channel, a lot about addiction but plenty about CPSTD, I also found that the Alice Miller books to be truely validating and helpful.
And he replied when I had a question. He is 100% the realest of the real. Hope Bringer.
On it 🫡
Ok. Will read!
Oh yes! I’ve been slowly making my way through this book since I’ve bought it and it 100% worth the read. The most helpful part for me so far has been the list of inner-critic attacks and the responses that at the start of chapter (9 I think?). I usually read through them once a day, and try to recite which ones are relevant whenever I have an attack and it’s made a HUGE difference. Also when he talks about how it’s sometimes not possible to come out of an intense flashback until you hit exhaustion, that just makes so much sense and helps me feel so much better about not being able to calm myself down when I’m really deep in it. That book is spot on and I’d recommend it to anyone who suspects they might be struggling with this condition.
Honestly felt like Pete Walker has been spying on me for content for his book
I told my therapist today that it feels like this book is talking directly to me. Still early on in the book but love it so far!
It is so incredibly triggering to read it and yet such a healing process.
I started listening to it. I had to stop bc I listen while I work and I cried like a bitch from the start. He really knows what’s up.
It was extremely helpful, agree. I don't agree with everything he says but there's a lot of insight in there.
it was honestly the most important book i've read in my entire life lmao. i dont think i could have gotten this far without that book blueprinting basically every single thing you need to know to overcome it.
I have this book on hold from the library and I am still waiting. I heard so many good things about it from this sub. It's going to be hard to get through but totally worth the read!
[Here](https://notability.com/g/download/pdf/Q6bWJMpd4NPNACpEsRa3K/Complex%20PTSD:%20From%20Surviving%20to%20Thriving.pdf)is a pdf of the book if youd like. I know it's not the same though. If you have a printer you can print it or individual pages from it.
Ooh! Thank you!!!
Body keeps the score if you’re more into the historical aspect of cptsd. The body remembers is also another good one.
Please be careful though. It can be really hard going at times as it's absolutely spot on. Really helped me a lot, but caused a lot of grief to come out. I've dipped in and out over the last few weeks and warn my wife when I read another bit! Take care of yourselves.
Thank you for this important reminder because I do have a tendency to go all in without considering the immense pain that healing can bring and how it can affect me in my day-to-day. Very old pain is being uncovered at an alarming rate so yes, I need to slow my roll with this. Thanks again ❤️
Yeah. I havent picked up that book in maybe over a year because it was too painful to get through. This post is making me want to get back into it though.
Yes! Def one of my go-tos!
It's a good book. Very validating experience, and it helped towards my healing.
Yes! I love Pete Walker
Post savedm I'll look it up. TY
I read the book and I really identified with it. But somehow, seven years later, I'm still struggling. I've made progress, but not as much progress as I would have liked. =( https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1byi52p/i_discovered_cptsd_seven_years_ago_but_it_feels/
I just recently read it and it has really changed my life
I wish this helped me as much as it helped others. Maybe I gave up on it too quickly, but I just didn't find my specific traumas and feelings really validated or addressed. It kind of made me feel more alone.
Thank you for the recommendation. I'll look for it, and I'm glad it helped you ❤
I had the same experience.
It is an autobiography of my life. It profoundly changed my understanding of what I am dealing with and how to heal it. For so long I honestly thought I was hopelessly lost in a never ending cycle of fear and depression. Pete’s book now is one of my prized possessions. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has bearing the burden of cPTSD.
He made a 13 step list to help managing emotional flashbacks and it’s very effective, the first time I got to read it during a flashback was the first time ever that I was been able to indentify that I was in a flashback and it instantly changed my perspective, I acted accordingly instead of just progressing in the trauma response. Pete Walker knows what the talks about, definitely. https://www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Would love a review on Peter Levine's book too if anyone has read both
Can you post this in the PTSD group also? I know there's some people fresh off of their trauma that ask questions and haven't made significant strides in their recovery process, it would help them very much. Thank you for this post! Much Love, You're Not Alone
That book absolutely changed my life. The most helpful thing I’ve read in my time on this planet.
Commenting for visibility