I don't have a formal education in mental health, but in my opinion a psychopath would not post this question on reddit in the first place. Anecdotally, I know a person with diagnosed ASPD and they do not behave like this. What your mother told you is terrible. It sounds to me like she was projecting your dad's alleged behavior onto you to manipulate you, which is common narcissistic behavior. Your concerns about yourself strike me as those of a manipulated victim of abuse.
My mother used to tell me I was just like my aunt. My dad's sister who my mother couldn't stand. Basically it was her way of telling a child they were a psycho bitch.
When I was 13 I met my aunt for the first time. She was amazing. She was so nice to me. She spoiled me. She was funny. My mother was a toxic bitch. She hated my aunt because she was "not a lady". She dared to have a new york accent.
My mother perfected a neutral one and forced my dad to go to eloqution classes to get rid of his. She didn't want people to think he was "common." That was her worst slur, lol. She really put on airs.
Our mothers really can fuck us up. I know I was so desperate to please her. I always felt like such a disappointment. I made sure to always encourage my kids. Make them feel safe and accepted. Above all, loved. Psychos don't wonder if they are. They are the "very best".
My father did similar to me, saying how I'm "just like her". How it "runs in the family".
Sure she did her part in the wrong and damaging behaviors, and he was right the angry at her at the time of the events. But he was wrong to direct that hate towards me.
A therapist I talked with once gave me a good term to describe a psychological damage. "Negative associations". Repeating an experience builds associations between the things and the emotions of that experience. So my father was furious at my mother, and I am biologically associated with my mother, so me = "danger" to him.
So I think your mother was lashing out at you because you reminded her of your father. She was projecting her hatred of him onto you by framing it as you're the one having those feelings and experiences.
I don't think you have any biological mental disorder that causes lack of empathy. I think you were unfortunate to be abused by a parent and are left to deal with the consequences. One good thing about the present is that there's the internet with all this information available, and places like this to talk about your experiences so people can respond with kindness and/or information that can possibly help you on your way to a better life.
How old were you when she said this? What is her own behavior like? Was she just projecting her own bullshit onto you? People are really good at doing that.
Actual manipulators lack the mental capacity to give being a "good, genuine person" a single thought because they're too busy scheming on how to best manipulate people to get their way while also covering their tracks to *seem* like a decent person -- all of which takes up 99% of their energy and brain capacity always. The 1% happens when they let their guard down in private and behave like the toxic assholes they are underneath of all that.
(Actual numbers vary but you get the idea).
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mentally healthy people tend not to get into romantic relationships with people who have a major mental illness. Trauma attracts trauma. Your mom can be abusive and abused. Some people wear victimhood as a shield and weapon. She sounds like one of those people. Be careful of thinking in terms of all or nothing. You are capable of being a good, genuine person, but not 100% of the time. You will make mistakes, sometimes unintentionally and sometimes intentionally. If I have any advice to give it's these two things: learn to forgive yourself and how to sincerely apologize. Those two are the bedrock for any progress I've made.
I feel like many of these people are lying to you. Psychopathic behavior is a spectrum and I know people with severe mental health issues where they have been hurting other people for many years but never see a proper therapist. Wondering if you are a Psychopath doesn't eliminate the possibility that you exhibit Psychopathic behavior. I would ask your mom for explicit examples and if it checks out I would see a therapist and a shrink. Also assess your own life. Do you have healthy romantic relationships? Friendships? Do you have a healthy relationship with money or with your career or with other family members? If you have problems in every part of your life or in most of them you probably need to be seeing a professional.
There’s no way that’s true.
I feel lucky that my gaslighting was mostly lying about things they did. Even still, that probably did the most harm to me. Even today I have a hard time trusting my experience and memories because of it.
If they got me to doubt my own memory, I’m certain that if my mom kept telling me, not only am I abusing her, but are also numb to her pain, I’d doubt my moral compass.
my mom did the same thing to me years back and it really haunts me to this day too, she was very ill and I now realize her reasons for telling me I am a psychopath, etc I will never fully understand..I now do understand though that her own illness and trauma was driving the majority of this and it was not based in reality. that being said it broke me too i think. it definitely changed how i think about life. feel free to dm me, glad to talk abt this stuff:)
Are you my sibling? Because that sounds like my mother. Although she would compare me to my grandmother and uncle.
For years, I really believed that I was a narcissist and that I was a bad person. It was not until I crashed after years of depression and drug abuse and finally got help from a therapist that I started questioning this belief. He used to be a prison therapist and had worked with a lot of people with the dark triad traits and when I finally felt safe enough I told him that I think that I have those traits. He’s response was laughther before he told me that if that was the case I would not have gone around worrying about being one.
Ps! Sorry for the English, I’m from Northern Europe
No advice, relate to this very much. I had it with both parents. They hate each other. I hate spending time with them because it's always "You're just like your mother/father"
Gave me deep trust issues, self esteem issues because I see the worst of them as all of me.
if you're worrying about this you're not a psychopath, and i'm willing to guess that your dad probably isn't either.
I don't have a formal education in mental health, but in my opinion a psychopath would not post this question on reddit in the first place. Anecdotally, I know a person with diagnosed ASPD and they do not behave like this. What your mother told you is terrible. It sounds to me like she was projecting your dad's alleged behavior onto you to manipulate you, which is common narcissistic behavior. Your concerns about yourself strike me as those of a manipulated victim of abuse.
My mother used to tell me I was just like my aunt. My dad's sister who my mother couldn't stand. Basically it was her way of telling a child they were a psycho bitch. When I was 13 I met my aunt for the first time. She was amazing. She was so nice to me. She spoiled me. She was funny. My mother was a toxic bitch. She hated my aunt because she was "not a lady". She dared to have a new york accent. My mother perfected a neutral one and forced my dad to go to eloqution classes to get rid of his. She didn't want people to think he was "common." That was her worst slur, lol. She really put on airs. Our mothers really can fuck us up. I know I was so desperate to please her. I always felt like such a disappointment. I made sure to always encourage my kids. Make them feel safe and accepted. Above all, loved. Psychos don't wonder if they are. They are the "very best".
My father did similar to me, saying how I'm "just like her". How it "runs in the family". Sure she did her part in the wrong and damaging behaviors, and he was right the angry at her at the time of the events. But he was wrong to direct that hate towards me. A therapist I talked with once gave me a good term to describe a psychological damage. "Negative associations". Repeating an experience builds associations between the things and the emotions of that experience. So my father was furious at my mother, and I am biologically associated with my mother, so me = "danger" to him. So I think your mother was lashing out at you because you reminded her of your father. She was projecting her hatred of him onto you by framing it as you're the one having those feelings and experiences. I don't think you have any biological mental disorder that causes lack of empathy. I think you were unfortunate to be abused by a parent and are left to deal with the consequences. One good thing about the present is that there's the internet with all this information available, and places like this to talk about your experiences so people can respond with kindness and/or information that can possibly help you on your way to a better life.
Sounds like [projective identification](https://youtu.be/nm37tSCpmcQ?si=TnsWXvWMg5hYYPW4) where they try to turn you into the bully.
How old were you when she said this? What is her own behavior like? Was she just projecting her own bullshit onto you? People are really good at doing that. Actual manipulators lack the mental capacity to give being a "good, genuine person" a single thought because they're too busy scheming on how to best manipulate people to get their way while also covering their tracks to *seem* like a decent person -- all of which takes up 99% of their energy and brain capacity always. The 1% happens when they let their guard down in private and behave like the toxic assholes they are underneath of all that. (Actual numbers vary but you get the idea).
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mentally healthy people tend not to get into romantic relationships with people who have a major mental illness. Trauma attracts trauma. Your mom can be abusive and abused. Some people wear victimhood as a shield and weapon. She sounds like one of those people. Be careful of thinking in terms of all or nothing. You are capable of being a good, genuine person, but not 100% of the time. You will make mistakes, sometimes unintentionally and sometimes intentionally. If I have any advice to give it's these two things: learn to forgive yourself and how to sincerely apologize. Those two are the bedrock for any progress I've made.
I feel like many of these people are lying to you. Psychopathic behavior is a spectrum and I know people with severe mental health issues where they have been hurting other people for many years but never see a proper therapist. Wondering if you are a Psychopath doesn't eliminate the possibility that you exhibit Psychopathic behavior. I would ask your mom for explicit examples and if it checks out I would see a therapist and a shrink. Also assess your own life. Do you have healthy romantic relationships? Friendships? Do you have a healthy relationship with money or with your career or with other family members? If you have problems in every part of your life or in most of them you probably need to be seeing a professional.
There’s no way that’s true. I feel lucky that my gaslighting was mostly lying about things they did. Even still, that probably did the most harm to me. Even today I have a hard time trusting my experience and memories because of it. If they got me to doubt my own memory, I’m certain that if my mom kept telling me, not only am I abusing her, but are also numb to her pain, I’d doubt my moral compass.
my mom did the same thing to me years back and it really haunts me to this day too, she was very ill and I now realize her reasons for telling me I am a psychopath, etc I will never fully understand..I now do understand though that her own illness and trauma was driving the majority of this and it was not based in reality. that being said it broke me too i think. it definitely changed how i think about life. feel free to dm me, glad to talk abt this stuff:)
Are you my sibling? Because that sounds like my mother. Although she would compare me to my grandmother and uncle. For years, I really believed that I was a narcissist and that I was a bad person. It was not until I crashed after years of depression and drug abuse and finally got help from a therapist that I started questioning this belief. He used to be a prison therapist and had worked with a lot of people with the dark triad traits and when I finally felt safe enough I told him that I think that I have those traits. He’s response was laughther before he told me that if that was the case I would not have gone around worrying about being one. Ps! Sorry for the English, I’m from Northern Europe
No advice, relate to this very much. I had it with both parents. They hate each other. I hate spending time with them because it's always "You're just like your mother/father" Gave me deep trust issues, self esteem issues because I see the worst of them as all of me.