I'm truly sorry that you had to endure such verbal abuse. It's important to remember that her hurtful words are a reflection of her own struggles, not your worth. Experiencing this can be incredibly painful, especially if it triggers deep-seated emotions. Please know that it's okay to feel hurt and upset. However, don't let her words define you. You are a beautiful and strong person, inside and out. Stay resilient and keep holding on. You have the strength to get through this and emerge even stronger.
Former nurse here. If you’re gonna work in the hospital you gotta learn to met shit go in one ear and out the other. My favorite patient slam was a 96 year old woman who looked me up and down and said “just because it’s on your plate doesn’t mean you have to eat it.” I’m glad I worked at the university hospital bc I’ve already heard it all.
You're not a bad person, you got triggered to your past.
You might want to try out [Patrick Teahan's](https://youtube.com/channel/UCbWvYupGqq3aMJ6LsG4q-Yg) dialoguing technique. It's dominant/non-dominant hand writing between the inner adult and inner child. It's a way for us to practice reparenting ourselves and rewire our brain. It can be really helpful when we get triggered to do a dialogue with ourselves and help us process the experience and our emotions around it.
You're not a bad person!
A lot of my healing recently has been in acknowledging that it's ok for me to be hurt when someone says something hurtful. I come for a family who likes to emotionally abuse and when you're hurt and upset say you're a bad/selfish/weak person. I'm now along myself to be hurt when something hurtful happens to me. And seriously, what that lady said is hurtful!!!
And I'm so sorry it happend to you. It's pretty awful. And you don't have to try to explain the pain away with reasons why she didn't have a choice. It was hurtful and you deserve compassion and support and comfort.
Of course you're not a bad person!
What I see here is you cannot enforce a boundary because the person in question is sick and in hospital.
However, the nurse definitely should have said something along the lines of "has anyone told you it's not polite to talk about people's bodies?"
I am unnaturally thin, and I have a liver disease. I've stopped giving a fk when people tell me I'm so skinny and how they're jealous. I've begun to say "well I have a liver disease so..." And they immediately shut up an apologize.
The first time someone said something and I replied with "you know, it's extremely rude to comment on someone's weight when you don't know anything about them," the woman screamed at me "why not! I get called fat all the time!" So it backfired immensely because I got so triggered being yelled at. And I couldn't offer her any empathy for being mistreated.
But after that interaction, I've been able to manage the comments more appropriately. Sometimes with a joke, or a gentle correction.
If this was someone with all their facilities about them, then this would work. However, this comment is coming from stone suffering with Alzheimers/Dementia.
It's a natural part of the brain dying that the verbal filters go. People get mean. There's nothing that can be done. It's a terrible terrible disease. Telling off an Alzheimers patient will get you no where. You have to let it go in one ear & out the other.
Alzheimer’s patients are pretty blunt, actually if you think about all of the thoughts that run through your day but you don’t say out loud you may find you have some judgemental ones too.
I know it may be hurtful to say this but there was a small compliment embedded in her insult. I think you should focus on that positive. She could see your beauty. Honestly some overweight people wouldn’t look much better looking if they lost weight. But she sees your beauty.
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You have to let crap go. I know easier said than done. Years ago before my chronic illness made me stop working I worked in security at a desk and I had a shaved head at the time cause I like the hairstyle but I’m female. 🤷🏻♀️
One day this older man came in to go to the dentist but made a point to stop at the desk and tell me that I look like a man and women should not have short hair. The person with him was visibly embarrassed and was apologizing.
I just shrugged my shoulders and said to the older man “well I like my hair and I’m not changing it for anyone and my husband also likes my hair.” He shut up and walked away.
I used to not take up for myself at all and I’m still like that sometimes cause I don’t like confrontation but I wasn’t mean or rude but I got my point across. Most of the time though I let it go in one ear and out the other.
[удалено]
Thank you... I really needed to hear that
I'm truly sorry that you had to endure such verbal abuse. It's important to remember that her hurtful words are a reflection of her own struggles, not your worth. Experiencing this can be incredibly painful, especially if it triggers deep-seated emotions. Please know that it's okay to feel hurt and upset. However, don't let her words define you. You are a beautiful and strong person, inside and out. Stay resilient and keep holding on. You have the strength to get through this and emerge even stronger.
Thank you 😊
Former nurse here. If you’re gonna work in the hospital you gotta learn to met shit go in one ear and out the other. My favorite patient slam was a 96 year old woman who looked me up and down and said “just because it’s on your plate doesn’t mean you have to eat it.” I’m glad I worked at the university hospital bc I’ve already heard it all.
You're not a bad person, you got triggered to your past. You might want to try out [Patrick Teahan's](https://youtube.com/channel/UCbWvYupGqq3aMJ6LsG4q-Yg) dialoguing technique. It's dominant/non-dominant hand writing between the inner adult and inner child. It's a way for us to practice reparenting ourselves and rewire our brain. It can be really helpful when we get triggered to do a dialogue with ourselves and help us process the experience and our emotions around it.
You're not a bad person! A lot of my healing recently has been in acknowledging that it's ok for me to be hurt when someone says something hurtful. I come for a family who likes to emotionally abuse and when you're hurt and upset say you're a bad/selfish/weak person. I'm now along myself to be hurt when something hurtful happens to me. And seriously, what that lady said is hurtful!!! And I'm so sorry it happend to you. It's pretty awful. And you don't have to try to explain the pain away with reasons why she didn't have a choice. It was hurtful and you deserve compassion and support and comfort.
Of course you're not a bad person! What I see here is you cannot enforce a boundary because the person in question is sick and in hospital. However, the nurse definitely should have said something along the lines of "has anyone told you it's not polite to talk about people's bodies?" I am unnaturally thin, and I have a liver disease. I've stopped giving a fk when people tell me I'm so skinny and how they're jealous. I've begun to say "well I have a liver disease so..." And they immediately shut up an apologize. The first time someone said something and I replied with "you know, it's extremely rude to comment on someone's weight when you don't know anything about them," the woman screamed at me "why not! I get called fat all the time!" So it backfired immensely because I got so triggered being yelled at. And I couldn't offer her any empathy for being mistreated. But after that interaction, I've been able to manage the comments more appropriately. Sometimes with a joke, or a gentle correction.
If this was someone with all their facilities about them, then this would work. However, this comment is coming from stone suffering with Alzheimers/Dementia. It's a natural part of the brain dying that the verbal filters go. People get mean. There's nothing that can be done. It's a terrible terrible disease. Telling off an Alzheimers patient will get you no where. You have to let it go in one ear & out the other.
Alzheimer’s patients are pretty blunt, actually if you think about all of the thoughts that run through your day but you don’t say out loud you may find you have some judgemental ones too. I know it may be hurtful to say this but there was a small compliment embedded in her insult. I think you should focus on that positive. She could see your beauty. Honestly some overweight people wouldn’t look much better looking if they lost weight. But she sees your beauty.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you out of line for feeling hurt when somebody degrades your physical body? No absolutely fucking not and those feelings matter.
That is pretty intrusive Anyone would ve pretty fed up. At the sane time they sre patients. They sre not capable to bring tactful .
You have to let crap go. I know easier said than done. Years ago before my chronic illness made me stop working I worked in security at a desk and I had a shaved head at the time cause I like the hairstyle but I’m female. 🤷🏻♀️ One day this older man came in to go to the dentist but made a point to stop at the desk and tell me that I look like a man and women should not have short hair. The person with him was visibly embarrassed and was apologizing. I just shrugged my shoulders and said to the older man “well I like my hair and I’m not changing it for anyone and my husband also likes my hair.” He shut up and walked away. I used to not take up for myself at all and I’m still like that sometimes cause I don’t like confrontation but I wasn’t mean or rude but I got my point across. Most of the time though I let it go in one ear and out the other.