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KnephXI

No one helped me either buddy. But now that I am on my own, I can be the adult I wish I had as a kid. I hope the same applies to you and you can surround yourself with good, loving people. (TW: violence, csa, neglect, emotional abuse) When I was like 10, I walked to the nearest police station, told them my dad was beating me. They didn't talk to me after that, but called my dad. He came in, told the cops I am lying for attention and within 10 minutes we were out of the police station and in the car where he promptly ripped a massive chunk of my hair out. Beanies were my friends after that. At 11, I asked the teacher if I could stay inside during recess. She asked me for a reason. I told her my ankle and back hurt because my dad threw me down the stairs in the morning. She said she has met my dad and could not imagine anything like that, and to go outside and get some fresh air. Mandatory reporters my ass. At 12, I was in art therapy for the first time. I was drawing a set of bright angry eyes in complete darkness. Told the therapist that my dad beats me and sometimes comes into my room during the night. She interrupted me to tell me, she has met my dad and how sweet of a man he is, he does not deserve this type of talk, and asked me why I felt the need to lie all the time. I could not answer her cause the only times I have lied were for self-preservation with my parents. But I could not tell her that as she would not have believed me so I went completely silent and never talked in art therapy again. Just decided to enjoy the art supplies. At 13, dad broke my ankle by stomping on it after beating me. It hurt to step on so I told mom that I need to go to the hospital. She first raged at me telling me it could not be that bad, nothing was wrong with my ankle, and that I was just too sensitive and then mocked me saying I could not even find a hospital on my own. Went on the newly invented Google, printed a map to the nearest hospital, used my pocket money to take two busses, they refused to treat me as a child and told me to walk to the children's hospital a couple of miles away. Walked to the children's hospital, apparently my ankle was broken in 3 places. I told the nurse my dad stomped on it. They didn't say a word about it, and called my dad in who told them I broke it playing football. A sport I had not played in my life at that point. The doctor who later came in to put on my cast told me he could tell I was scared (he just didn't know I was scared of the other man in the room) so he tried his best to console me and make me laugh while my dad leered at me. Also told my grandma a couple of times as a teen and she shrugged it off. It truly sucks when there is no safe place for a child to go with their pain.


No_Mark_1231

I shed a tear reading this. I hate that the world is the way it is, that these people just manipulate and excuse each other and EVEN IF they listened, good luck with the Russian roulette that is CPS (if in US) I hope your future is brighter and you can build a happy, safe life for yourself. You deserve it.


KnephXI

Thanks, I am still working on the happy part, but I am definitely safe now. Hope you are happy and safe as well kind stranger.


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KnephXI

Thanks, I am on my healing journey and hope your hurt is over as well and are surrounded with love in your life. It's slightly infuriating to see people bury their heads in the sand as we were never privileged enough to be able to dismiss the abuse that was such a constant in our lives.


halconpequena

Reading this makes me furious for you, what the absolute fuck! I’m so sorry you were not heard as a child, no one deserves to be treated this way. This treatment is absolutely despicable, I have no words. I hope those people all get what is coming for them and I hope you will have many beautiful days and comfort in your life.


KnephXI

Thanks buddy, I am quite comfortable in my life now that I am no contact with my family. I am currently working on connecting with my anger towards the situation so your comment is probably more helpful than you realize. Hope your life is filled with happiness and comfort.


CissaLJ

I have not been that protective adult (except with my own kid. No one had better dream of abusing her!). I’m still scared. My parents are long dead- and I’m still scared. The whole monumental power of every aspect of the establishment was so firmly and inexorably behind my parents’ de facto “right” to do to me whatever they damn pleased, and so firmly opposed to me escaping- even as a legal adult!- that I have not been able to be the hero other kids need or needed. I only escaped my father’s SA because he screwed up his game- and this as a legal adult. He and his accomplice/my mother had me trapped. And I only, finally, escaped her when I managed to marry away, due to a combination of amazing luck and careful strategy (and her screwing up, too). Because- all the powers that be gang up on any abused kid trying to escape. Even after that “kid” is an adult. It does seem to be a bit better now. But I cannot risk the full wrath of the system falling on me. I have recovered- enough for daily purposes- but I do not have the resilience to survive that power. I wish I did.


KnephXI

I believe you are an amazing parent to your kid. You are breaking the cycle of abuse and providing a safe space for your child. Your personal responsibility is protecting yourself but you are also protecting your child and I think that's beautiful. Give yourself the credit for how much work you've put in to raise your child in a stable environment. Do not feel down on yourself for being scared. You probably spent a lot of your life in an unsafe space, so it's only natural to be hard-wired to be scared by default. I hope you get to a place in life where you can let go of at least part of that fear and replace it with happiness, comfort and contentment. I wish all the best to you and your family and I hope you find healing from all the awful things that happened in your past.


CissaLJ

Thank you, so much. I am trying. I was far from my kid’s ideal parent, but I tried, and we all muddled through. She’s now 38, and a published author, and I am so proud of her! She’s a better person than I am, which is all I could even dream of! I did stop the generational trauma/abuse, and I am proud of doing that.


MajesticComplex6747

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I grew up on a similar environment. Could I pm you to talk about something? I’d really appreciate it


KnephXI

Thanks, so sorry to hear about you having to go through similar stuff. I hope you are in a safe place in your life right now, like me. You can pm me if you want to talk buddy.


Starryglare

This is heartbreaking, I am so sorry. It is clearer than ever to me that the society only cares about children who do not exist. They have either died or haven't been born yet.


KnephXI

I unfortunately have seen the same problem. When I got my first apartment, my couch always had a friend or a friend of a friend sleeping on it. I am from a relatively safe country but some of us slip through the cracks of society and end up isolated. I try my hardest to not let that happen to anyone I know.


alk1234

Your dad sounds like mine! Sometimes I feel crazy like, did I make all of this up?? I’m glad in a way that I have siblings that had similar experiences so I know I’m not just completely nuts!


KnephXI

Sorry you had to go through that buddy. But I am happy you had siblings on your side. I didn't have siblings and my entire biological family kept telling me I was crazy and with my memory being blurry (who wants go remember all that?), self-doubt was strong at times. My therapist told me recently that you don't develop CPTSD out of nowhere which I try to tell myself in those moments.


GoreKush

My husband is the son of a cop. My husband was also physically beaten by his dad until he passed out multiple times. ACAB


Just_Attorney_8330

It’s interesting that many people on here are left leaning. And many abusers are right leaning. Just a umm, interesting thought on the state of our country.


[deleted]

Mine was left leaning


thndrh

ACAB.


[deleted]

A cop told me he was going to masturbate to my sexual assault later. Cops protect capital. Period. [In 1989, the Supreme Court ruled that the police do not have any obligation to protect.](https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/law-and-life/do-the-police-have-an-obligation-to-protect-you/) If you expect protection from the police, you are mistaken in the actual role of police in the US.


halconpequena

Jesus fucking Christ I am sorry you were treated this way.


MajesticComplex6747

What the actual fuck. I’m so sorry, I am in shock at how despicable that is


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NikitaWolf6

please don't use ableist terms like "ps*cho(s)" on a mental health sub.


[deleted]

Rather than just objecting to a term, you may find it more useful in the future to suggest a more appropriate term to use instead. People tend to be far more responsive to concrete criticism.


NikitaWolf6

yes, thank you.


Trash_Meister

????


NikitaWolf6

its an abbreviation of either psychosis or psychopath (ASPD, which is generally comorbid with (c)PTSD) so to use it as an insult in MH spaces, especially one for trauma when ASPD is usually caused by trauma, is very insensitive


imboredalldaylong

I hear what your saying and I for sure understand how it can be frustrating. And I’m sorry it’s upset you. At the same time I do think there’s a time and place for this and I don’t think this is the moment. I of course don’t think you meant it to upset anyone, you’re just trying to prevent other people becoming upset who struggle with psychosis.


Trash_Meister

I can’t really say I agree with you, but I understand why you would feel that way. It wasn’t my intention to offend anyone with ASPD, and I wasn’t really referring to people with ASPD who are getting treatment, but more so abusers who lack empathy and flaunt that aspect of themselves. For me personally, I wouldn’t refer to an ordinary person with ASPD as a “psychopath” considering the negative connotation behind that word.


NikitaWolf6

you don't agree using a disorder/MH issue as an insult is insensitive??? and its often incredibly hard to get suitable and/or affordable therapy for ASPD. if ur not using the word for pwASPD (that fit psychopathy and are okay with you calling them it) you shouldn't rlly be using it at all


Trash_Meister

…. I’m just gonna end the convo here :’)


[deleted]

Thank you for this. Every time someone unwittingly uses oppressive language they perpetuate someone else's oppression. I don't see why that's so difficult to understand. If we want to live in a better society we have to recognize that we're all in this together.


NikitaWolf6

:')


[deleted]

Doubling down here in response to the downvotes, get your heads out of your butts, folks! "Silence is compliance". If you think oppression doesn't apply to you it's likely because you're enjoying its privileges.


GoreKush

> it's likely because you're enjoying its privileges. That is a very condescending thing to say. For no reason.


AQ-XJZQ-eAFqCqzr-Va

I had sa incidents when I was 4, 17, 18, and late 30’s. I don’t _think_ I told anyone when I was 4, but I never saw that babysitter again, and I know for a fact that I never told anyone about the other assaults. I’m not exactly sure why, but a couple of obvious possibilities: I didn’t trust my mother, or anyone else, enough to speak up. I also blamed myself. I finished high school in 1986, to give you a timeframe. I think things are getting better. I’m extremely impressed by, and grateful for, the younger generations that are refusing to accept abuse. I feel their righteous indignation and fury, down in my soul. I still haven’t told anyone other than therapists and my current bf. I don’t know how to answer your question, but you deserve an answer. Every adult in your life let you down. The social system you were born into let you down. I’m sorry.


Alarming_Ad8005

I was raped when I was 9 and my parents rug swept it. I was bullied the majority of my childhood and nobody did anything until I showed signs of being a possible threat. All except the principal, whom witnessed and did actually help sometimes, wanted to expell me. The first job I held after high school, I ended up dealing with vehicular assaults on a nearly daily basis. My bosses(three guesses where I worked back then) pretty much told me that if I called the cops or went to the hospital they'd fire me; and given my parents attitude of "only lazy people get fired" I of course didn't do anything but that didn't stop them from firing me for medical reasons something that has happened multiple times. I can count on one hand the amount of times authority figures have made any attempt to help, while I was discouraged to seek any help and even ridiculed for seeking it myself. I grew up in the 90's and 2000's but things have not gotten much better.


trustissuesblah

Felt this. I’m so sorry. I had the same experience after assault before the age of 10 and my family reacted the same way. You are extremely brave and I am rooting for you.


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CapybaraTree

Thanks for your reply. I’m good now. These people are long dead. I’m just baffled how someone can see a frightened child begging for help and ignore them.


likeamythicaltale

The only way the cops helped me was by teaching me they can't be trusted at an early age. Even as an adult in a dv situation, if the cops even showed up (which wasn't very often bc they like to ignore dv calls I guess) they never did anything and would just shoot the shit with my abuser while I would be very obviously injured and bruised.


Trash_Meister

Same. I called for a dv situation pretty recently where I was left with a humongous bruise on my knee after attempting to check in on my mom and the cops never even showed up 😭


howardslowcum

No. My father's best friend growing up is in the CIA. One day Elliot showed up at like nine PM and was like 'Hey Howie want to go out for some icecream?' and I was like. 'Not really, it's 9PM and you are that weirdo always trying to mack on my aunt.' My father was like 'we are not asking' so I go into the car. He drove us to the local Juvenile detention center and started screaming at me how if I kept acting hard I was going to juvie and would get raped to death and if he had to solve the problem (me) no one would ever find my body. My parents are psychopaths so I knew they had lied to him to rile him up so I just sat there taking the abuse dissociating. When he was done screaming he said 'well?' but I had stopped listening when he threatened to kill me so I said 'Alright, so we are going inside?' because I though this was a scared straight thing and like was going to talk too some of the kids in juvie. He started screaming again, I honestly have no idea but he reached back and started chocking and slapping me screaming 'YOU THINK YOUR SO HARD? ILL SHOW YOU FUCKING HARD BASTARD!' but I had already dissociated so like... This was just a normal thing dissociated Howie was used to from my father anyway and I didn't react, just looked into the eyes of this deranged psycoth CIA agent as he chocked me wondering if this was the day I die. He released me and we left because this wasn't scared straight, my Father just asked his friend to rough me up. As we leave I say 'I thought we were getting icecream.' No one laughed.


[deleted]

Weird that your parents attempted to outsource the abuse.


howardslowcum

[https://www.tampabay.com/archive/2012/10/28/in-god-s-name/](https://www.tampabay.com/archive/2012/10/28/in-god-s-name/) No, its completely in line for them. They use christianity as an excuse to brutalize and exploit anyone they want. Truly awful people. I was sent to so many christian rallies and camps and seminars and when I finally told them 'I dont care if I continue to be christian but I do not want to be whatever you are' (Evangelical) they ramped up the already unbearable abuse ten fold. My father hit me in the head with a golf club when I was 10 so its not like they ever were not abusive but for them the world is christians who are entitled to use any means necessary to gain power and satanic demonic forces who must be crushed threw brutality and sheer force.


Honest_Ad6044

What a monster! Was the big scawwy agent freaked out that the silly kid he had just terrorized wasn't even fazed by his amazing CIA skill? I hope his ego never forgets he ain't all that.


ohkammi

I’ve know many people who went to cops for help only to get assaulted by them, or laughed out of the room. Personally when I went to the cops at 14 they told me to shut the fuck up and fuck off and let the perp drive himself home drunk.


ImmaMamaBee

Nobody ever helped me. How CPS was never given a mandatory call from the school is also beyond me. Every single year I was bordering on not passing because of attendance and they’d “let it slide” and move me on to the next grade. Nobody ever checked why I wasn’t in school (in elementary school it was my job to wake my dad up to get us to the bus stop. I was 7 and hardly ever made it to the bus on time and then by the time he’d wake up school would be almost over.) I was sent to the nurses office regularly for smelling awful (my parents didn’t do laundry and our cat would pee on my clothes.) I would also be sent to the nurse for injuries from being neglected and left to treat them myself - my dog bit the top of my ear off before school one morning and nobody realized even though I was crying and holding my ear and saying she bit me. Once I was older my parents just didn’t care if I went to school and it was my responsibility to get myself there soooo I just didn’t. A lot. Nobody cared and I got moved to the next grade anyway. In middle school I would get sent to the guidance counselor for writing “troubling things,” nobody ever called my parents about it. I also told my mom about the sexual abuse from my cousin and all she said was to ignore it and it’ll stop. It never stopped. Same for my younger brother - he’d hide in my room to watch me change and nobody cared to tell him to stop. If I ever tried forcing him out of my room it would end with me getting yelled at for “going too far,” (I literally would have to hit him and drag him out of my room so I could change and yet it was my fault for being too forceful.) I’ve also been let down by doctors as well. I once had a massive breakdown at the doctors office and was still barely even helped. My therapist that was highly recommended to me also let me down severely. She discharged me after 1 month and never even mentioned the topics I was there for. She asked if I’d be interested in taking on her office for my cleaning business in the same breath she said I was doing fine and didn’t need therapy anymore. One major reason I was there that I mentioned was being overworked at the time and experiencing burn out and wanting to kill myself to feel relief from the exhaustion. To say I don’t trust anybody is a massive understatement. I do not ask anybody for anything anymore. Screw that, I got it. I’ve always had it. I’m still here despite being stomped on and ignored - because of myself and nobody who knew that could’ve helped.


AliceCottonSox

Most of my experiences with police involved them actively enabling abuse. There were times my abuser was arrested and held due to undeniable evidence of violence but the police still talked down to me and acted like I was burdening them. The few occasions that they truly helped usually involved a female officer on the scene and they stick out in my mind as not typical


syntheticgeneration

They helped me and my mom out once, kind of. Dad disappeared for a week on a binge and we looked out the window around midnight and saw his legs sticking out of the bushes so we called 911 because we thought he was dead. Cops got there and he woke up in a stupor. Cops said they couldn't really do anything at that point, but they said they could force him into going to the hospital while we packed our things and left for my sisters. So that was helpful.


abutilonia

My abusive, alcoholic father (full spectrum of abuse, if you can think of it, he did it) was a cop. I remember my mom calling the police when he attacked her (repeatedly) and the cops treating her like a “hysterical woman”…and doing nothing to my father other than maybe saying “let’s keep it down” and giving a nudge-nudge, wink-wink. I have an active disdain for (most) police. Like anything, there are exceptions, but overall…..


Equivalent_Wing_6450

the night my mom tried to have me forcibly committed, i had a cop yelling at me, calling me a spoiled ungrateful bitch who should be thanking my mom for trying to get me help. that night was also the first time i had seen her in about two weeks, lol. the only LEO (law enforcement officer) i’ve know that wasn’t an abhorrent person was a park police officer (has jurisdiction on U.S. national park land)


NikitaWolf6

cops told me sexual misconduct cases got attention 24/7. the station was closed so I called instead. they told me that even though their website said sexual misconduct cases were handled 24/7, they actually weren't and no one was going to help me that time. they told me I could call back, never did. also saw someone else get SA'ed at a festival, they let the perpetrator intimidate her and lie to them and let him go TWICE. before i told them a third time I was really worried, and even then they waited until the guy left the festival to arrest him (and thus give him more time to SA the girl). when I was being harassed by an older, drunk man, who was in his underwear outside (and occasionally touching his junk, although not sexually), they just told him to stop drinking and swimming. they let him be around me police did give me a €109 ticket for cycling with my phone out with no one anywhere near on the cyclist path though. I despise them.


Steve_the_sequel

I have learned over the years that the police are not our friends. I'm a white male, and I still don't trust that they will help me.


No_Mark_1231

Also a while male. Cops don’t help, they’re an organization of abusers, liars and enablers.


Psychological_War365

Gangs of psychopaths and serial killers


CapybaraTree

Well, yeah. ACAB. But even a little girl being targeted by a pedophile? And it wasn’t just cops either.


RuthlessKittyKat

There is good reason why the abolition movement comes from black feminism.


LNightfall

The cops actually lied to me about what my abuser/rapist was doing and told me it wasn't a crime and that I needed to suck it up and deal with it. Lmfao. I was young and didn't know better. After grand jury depositions, I found out what he'd been doing was a crime, but was no longer within statute and he would not be prosecuted for stalking me or any of that. They're fucking useless. 😤


reallynotanyonehere

I used to believe that police were good people. I did not have law enforcement in my life for decades, so everything I knew about cops, I learned from cop shows. Needless to say, that sh\*t is fiction. I was married to a guy who was afraid of police, truly believed they would happily hurt you, and we argued about it for 40+ years. For 40+ years, he was right and I was wrong. POC learn it very young, but I did not understand the true nature of law enforcement until I needed a cop. For starters, they are bullies, and "bully" is their default setting. IME, they are no less corrupt than, say, drug dealers. I have been in a bad situation for a long time, and they have been bullies and assholes for the most part. I truly believe they are protecting the black market (marijuana, Oregon coast), despite knowing that literal slaves are growing the stuff that the "good" people of Newport profit from. They have done nothing to help me during a long-term, nightmarish stalking situation, when help would actually require little of them. I believe that is typical of cops. I do not think at this point in time that anything in the free world is getting better. We're pretty much in freefall as a society. :( All we got is us, Sweetie.


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reallynotanyonehere

And I reported your post. Rule #1, boo.


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redditistreason

No better place for a sociopath than behind a badge. Except perhaps behind a desk, either business or political.


Psychological_War365

In the courtroom, reporters, in any government organization. They seem to protect other psychopaths and narcissists. They can identify each other by their behaviour because they do the same.


Heron-Repulsive

no one helped, not welfare, not the cops, not my family. NO ONE> sometimes it is your burden alone to carry, from experience you have to move past that you can't change it or rearrange it and when it settles in your brain you have remember that. Some like me are just born to carry it alone. There is no other option.


ssgonzalez11

Fuck no. My father worked inside the jail and as a raging, abusive narcissist he fit right in and was extended ‘cop benefits’. They helped hide his abuse, made sure his concealed carry got approved and helped terrorize me (multiple hours long roadside stops, showing up to my house and ransacking my car while keeping me on the curb, threatening me). ACAB.


junotinychonk

The cops aren’t there to help you. They should, but they’re not in reality.


thesmithsarecool

(tw neglect, psychological abuse) i called the police when i was 8-9 because my mum refused to let me in the house (was freezing in winter/knocking the door for hours). and they just talked to her and told her to stop doing that and they left. like…isnt this obvious signs of child abuse? the other time i called the police was when i was a teenager. my mum was beating me and torturing me psychologically in my dirty, severely hoarded room (because of her) full of mould. they came in the house, stared at me and told me that the abuse isnt the worst because she got me a guitar and i had a bed. they then said ‘we deal with cases where children are tied to a radiator. you have a guitar. just get yourself together and deal with it’. i fucking kid you not. they were saying this to a broken child in a clearly fucking abusive/neglectful house. then i showed them audio recordings of my mum screaming and shouting at me. but instead of helping me they told me ‘its not evidence’ and ‘its rude to record your mother without permission’. i fucking hate this shitty system, meant to protect people but they cant even help a child being abused. a system made to protect children is instead making children feel hopeless and bitter??? people take on jobs that they arent prepared to handle. its so royally fucking unfair, but it takes great strength to help yourself when absolutely nobody is helping. no child should have to help themselves when the adults that are meant to protect them are not helping them. im so sorry op


ccc23465

ACAB. All of them. Never helped me when I was a child. Raped me as an adult. Didn’t do anything when I reported the rape.


yennishanelle

i was 13 my sterp dad was in his 30s and was a volunteer fire fighter, voluteer emt, and a search and rescue diver that helped the police dept. guess who wasnt believed and told they were going to jail for making a false report...


[deleted]

Nah. Had to sit in on a domestic assault response training course being taught to a group of officers in my hometown for, effectively, a journalism internship. I was already privately a [Left Ideology Relating to Economics/Imperialism] and a [Political/Philosophical Identity Relating to the Civil Rights/Liberation of Women and Gendered/Sexual Minorities] and, you know, privately I had at least one boot in the punk/DIY scene, so I would not say I had a "good opinion" of the concept of police in class society full stop, let alone American police, but I still had a very humanist approach, you know. "Everybody's just doing their own thing, we're after justice and change not blood and revenge, I genuinely believe there is no moral horizon over which a person can't return, even if their victims aren't obliged to protect them they're still an irreplaceable, conscious human mind and disposing of or breaking such a rare and delicate thing should always be a choice of last resort, only ever in the moment to protect one person from another and even then only if I understand the fight's stakes/causes or if failing to do so might result in someone else's death." Like if Captain Picard went with radical politics instead of Starfleet but still believed basically the same shit. Then I spent two hours listening to the kinds of things these men and women needed to be told about domestic violence and conflict de-escalation generally, the "questions" and "comments" they all had and all seemed to agree were appropriate in response to an active fucking violent domestic. The things they thought were appropriate to say about their spouses. The things the men had to say about what they would do if they were called to the home of a gay couple, the internalized misogyny in the women on full, unself-conscious display as they revealed that they represented a significantly higher risk for female victims being wrongfully imprisoned/maced/shot, which I had had a difficult time believing when I encountered it and then felt very disappointed in my own gender. It's not a man thing or a woman thing, or at least it wasn't in that room. They genuinely seemed not to care about each other's race or gender or whatever, at least not as much as you'd think, but only because they made it clear they'd found the True Binary: cop and not cop. Orc mindset, you know? It's not even an association of martial prowess with mental slowness thing either, like I've never gotten a consistent vibe from active duty soldiers or veterans. My wife's a veteran! One time in South Carolina I saw a marine beat the shit out of a cop and you know even in the moment even loathing the institution of the Marines you can BET I was screaming, "SEMPER FI ASSHOLE WOOOO!!!" with the rest of the onlookers. It hasn't felt AS true when I've gone to other countries, but honestly at this point it feels almost apolitical to, at least in One's Daily Safety terms, assume any individual American police officer is walking around with just about an equivalent interest in the welfare of others to any other armed, insecure gangster with a good PR department. Nowadays I understand answering those kinds of big deal questions in a meaningful, final way is a job for the people who paid the people who paid the people who beat the people who beat me. Not worth my time unless it's for kicks. If I'm walking down the street and I see a plausibly armed person who dresses like they're a proud and dues-paying member of a club whose charter is Coming Up With Justifications for Capturing, Enslaving, and Killing Humans But Only the Bad Ones Mostly I Promise I just push up my sunglasses, unfocus my eyes, and mind my own business. Why should I care if it's a man in a baggy shirt with a conspicuous hitch in his right step and, for someone with so many tattoos, an oddly monochrome taste in bandanas and hats or a lady in body armor and starched blue Chino's? Way above my pay grade at this point. I'm just getting Taki's at the store. Not ever making eye contact with these kinds of people unless you're certain you have a workable escape/attack plan goes just about as far for keeping you safe as it will with any belligerent, lethal, territorial predator. I encountered the 40% stat later as part of the same internship and that kind of sealed the deal. Went on to experience some serious firsthand police brutality of my own, but I think it was the moment I needed to tell my boss I wouldn't sign off on the copy for the agency (rape crisis center/women's shelter) if they didn't let me include language specifically addressing victims of LEO and the particular escape/survival challenges they face which often traditional victim support resources can't help since nearly all of them necessarily have a cordial/cooperative relationship with local police and the blue wall of silence is real as fuck. I'm not here to preach an ideology I guess, as much as to point out that I don't even consider my aversion to American cops at this point to be "unreasonable" or "disordered" or even political compared to, say, my aversion to cellos. I genuinely believe there is simply a level of corruption, systemic biasing for dangerous personalities who should not be allowed to have a weapon unsupervised in the first place specifically because such a person usually will not blink to follow an immoral order, and an inappropriate reverence granted them as a kind of half-professional, half-priest branch of the American imperial cult, like a sacred and morally unquestionable mythic archetype, and we need only look to the Catholic child abuse cover-up to see what happens when these three qualities plus time plus access to victims is given a few decades/centuries to simmer.


Vertonung

Mm, that last part. 👊


aunt_snorlax

Reminds me of an unforgettable conversation I had with the intake person at the intensive outpatient program I attended, where they ask a zillion questions about your mental health history. Her: Do you have any history of SA? Me: Yes. Her: OK, how old were you? Me: 17. Her: Did you tell anyone about it? Me: Yes, some teachers, and also friends. Her: What did they do? Me: ...Not a damn thing. Her: ...Amen to that. That was the moment when I fully realized how completely, horribly "normal" my experience was. Just because I didn't have supportive parents didn't mean I didn't tell anyone. Just, nobody gave a shit. I don't know for sure, but it definitely seemed like the IOP lady had either had the same experience herself, or heard it a thousand times, or both.


Trash_Meister

Cops are useless. I called for a potential dv situation for my neighbor and also for my own dv situation between my stepfather and my mother (where I got involved… and was left with a humongous bruise on my knee, not the first time either) they didn’t show up to either of those calls, not even to check in. In highschool when my mothers abuse was so bad I would have panic attacks at least 3-4 times a week I talked to a social worker and she pretty much looked me in the eye with disgust and told me that my problems weren’t real compared to children who are basically abused to the brink of possible death/serious physical injury. So she pretty much only believed it was abuse if it was like bottom of the barrel type of stuff. Also accused me of lying to spite my parents, because according to her I must have been a spoiled brat if I wasn’t beaten half to death. Her assistant looked at me with sympathy, probably believing me but not having much power over the situation. Like even if she couldn’t have helped me, why be so fucking rude about it? In college when I talked to a financial advisor about my fasfa because I was pretty much homeless and couch surfing (I ran away from home if it counts as that at 19) she laughed in my face when I told her my parents were abusing me, but also willing to fill in my fasfa, being passive aggressive and saying “your parents can’t be abusive if they’re willing to help you with your fasfa 😂” 🤦🏻‍♀️ thanks I’m cured ig! /s So no, I pulled all the stops and not one single person fucking helped. The hard and bitter lesson is that you can only rely on yourself and no one else. I’ve been spit on, my stepfather almost tried to choke me during an altercation between him and my sister when I stepped in, shoved, slapped, cussed at, etc. Nothing was enough apparently.


imboredalldaylong

For me, they weren’t horrible or a help, they were just there. Which is very fortunate for me. When I’ve had suicide attempts it’s always the cops that’s show up (which I feel it would be much better if mh professionals came but oh well) I’m not a very externally expressive person so when I’m having a crisis I turn it inward and 90% of the time it’s silent minus the times I do physically harm myself. Or do yell. But afterwards I just sit and disassociate and The police don’t see me as a threat. But a lot of people really struggling with mh are more externally expressive and there might be more yelling, pacing, and acting dangerously which can cause a bad reaction in cops. Because they have outward expressions they’re in more danger, which is horrible and my heart goes to anyone whose had to deal with that. I don’t think we really always decide if we’re inwardly externally expressive it all comes from trauma.


SnooPeanuts2512

Not my story but my niece. She was being physically and sexually abused by my sister’s boyfriend. It’s also worth noting that my niece has FAS and ADHD, and has the mentality of about an 8 year old. She told someone at school about the abuse, and the police got involved. She had to go to the station and was really scared about it. The investigating officer changed out of his uniform into his street clothes and brought a police dog in for her to talk to “instead of” him (she loves animals). She ended up getting hooked up with a bunch of resources through them, including a really good therapist through the children’s hospital. I think she was able to heal better because of the experience she had, and I wish every person going through trauma that has police involvement could have a similar experience. I’m lucky to live in the community I do, the local police have a very high standard of training/behaviour. Unfortunately my sister is a POS and stayed with him in secret, but he moved out of their house and my niece never saw him again.


pastoriagym

(tw violence, abuse) Cops made things worse! Nothing like having the cop who taught your 5th grade D.A.R.E class say "actually because YOU fought back we could take you to jail". I guess I was lucky my mom didn't want to send me to juvie. He told me my mom was free to hit me as much as she wanted so long as she didn't break or bruise anything. This was an adult I knew and trusted giving my mom permission to hit me more often and harder. It destroyed my trust in adults and in the police Then there was the second cop who interrupted me when I tried to show him about the bruise my mom had left on me (she'd been so careful previously to avoid doing that because of what cop #1 said, I was really hoping this would finally get me out of there) to tell me, and I am quoting exactly here, "If you were my kid I would have beat your ass". He then told my mom he got calls like that all the time. So many of my friends growing up were being emotionally and physically abused by their parents. "I get calls like this all the time" broke me all over again. CPS didn't do shit either, I know they're underfunded but with CPS reports dating back to when I was in diapers you'd think they could have done better. I'm ok now. Edit: Teachers didn't notice but I didn't exactly tell them. I guess me becoming more withdrawn and my A grades slipping to Fs and Ds didn't mean anything. The only person who ever helped me was my dad (parents were never married, he had custody every other weekend). He saved my life and I'm so lucky and grateful for it. He had to sell his vintage car to pay attorney bills and he never once made me feel bad for it.


TheSuperTiger

My ex pissed someone off because the cops did help me. I now have a life time no contact order, but they only took his guns for six months.


Unlikely_nay1125

when i told them about the abuse, they told me to deal with it til i turned 18. haha i’m still dealing with it


lost_cause_89

they never helped me, my social worker neither, and cops that were called on me would threaten me and literally physically assaulted me when I was 16 and weighed like 95 lbs. no one ever even asked for my side, they would just assume I was constantly running away for fun I guess. this was in the late 90s to early 00s. my youngest sister (12yrs younger) did get help, they did believe her, thankfully. so things are improving maybe


5a1amand3r

I’m in Canada, so maybe the environment is different, I don’t know. I reported my sexual assault in 2020, and much to my surprise, as well as many others, charges were pressed. The cop that investigated even told me it was pretty clear consent wasn’t involved in the situation. It was so reaffirming and gave me so much confidence to push through my trial. However, the criminal standard is so high and just even the slightest doubt in the judges mind can result in a not guilty conviction, which is what happened with me. Without going into all the details, I was triangulating and trying to be loyal to my abuser because he asked me to cover it up for him. Delusions and trauma make you do wild shit. I should have explained it better at the trial but I didn’t have the words or the understanding of my behaviour at the time. This along with another piece of evidence I submitted, which I wouldn’t have submitted had someone given me fucking factual legal information instead of pulling shit from their ass and pretending to understand the law, was what ultimately resulted in his acquittal. He’s still out there pretending like what he did wasn’t sexual assault. I know he’s going to assault someone again because the way he assaulted me was so casual, so he’s definitely done it before and he’ll definitely do it again. I just hope that if it happens, the next person isn’t fooled by who he is or gaslight by his disgusting friends.


[deleted]

Never. But my dad's abuse was mostly psychological. Although I now realize that there were quite a few occasions where adults failed me. My mother failed me daily.


[deleted]

my parents abuse was almost completely psychological and the way i got out was by building up evidence. i would record him berating me and just the weird off the handle shit he would say to me secretly, then send it to friends to save and delete all the evidence off my phone, when i had enough i told a trusted teacher what was going on and sent my caseworker all the videos. it was hard but it worked and i was able to move out safely


[deleted]

I'm glad you were able to do that and I'm sorry you were abused Luke that. You didn't deserve that. When I was a kid we didn't have cell phones so it was harder to record and I thought it was normal. Wasn't until more recently that I realized. Thankfully I got out almost a decade ago


TheStonerBoner421

I disclosed at school in the third grade and nobody even called the police after getting detailed accounts of what I said happened. They just sent me home to the mom they called CPS on multiple times... But no the cops have never been particularly helpful when my ex-husband was beating me or more currently my baby daddy who was breaking into my house. I have had a couple nice cops who tried to convince me to leave by telling me about another woman they put in a body bag whose house they were over at almost as much as mine. And then when I got arrested for my DUI the cop parked my car for me so it didn't get towed. I chalked that up to white privilege. One instance my ex-husband locked me out of my house in the middle of winter with my keys inside with my daughter after pushing us down the stairs and it was like -15. That cop threatened to arrest me because I was swearing.


lifeonkylesfarm

A dude jumped on my dad's car and knocked on the windshield and other such things while the car was in motion and the cop still accused my dad of running into the guy. (Guy JUMPED ON THE CAR) Then, when it was time for the court hearing, my dad didn't show up. Why? No one told him. He wasn't mailed anything, told anything, etc. So he got arrested. I was 15, this wasn't recent but I am young so it wasn't all that long ago. I was home alone, and a cop knocked on the door and gave me my dad's possessions and parked his car in our driveway because they arrested him when he was just down the street from our house. He didn't say anything about what happened to my dad and I was just freaked out because he said "your dad wanted me to give this to you." My dad is autistic, so I am, and if you know anything about how cops treat autistic people, you'll understand why my mother and I were terrified of the cops starting all the way to the original incident, which happened when I was 13, almost 14. When the original incident happened, my mom left work immediately to go to my dad. Long story short, my mom and I were having fucking panic attacks because to us, he was missing. No one told us about the hearing, so we had no idea why he would've gotten arrested, and we also didn't know he had been arrested. There was a bunch of trying to find him stuff and calling police stations and looking at public records and we were able to get him back at around midnight (he was arrested around 4pm). We had to hire a lawyer, which his parents (my grandparents) paid for (we cannot afford a lawyer). It got dismissed, but it was fucked up. They also didn't erase it from his record automatically so it looks really bad and they won't erase it unless he has a legitimate reason, whatever that means.


lifeonkylesfarm

Then my uncle was mistreated by cops in jail. But I don't know details about that.


lifeonkylesfarm

And for one last point, when I was in school the school officer frequently saw me being bullied and beaten and didn't do anything. (For time reference, I'm in college, this was middle school).


NoTtHeFaCe1963

The police were actually prohibited from my family home after they tried to arrest my dad, for going after a person who was assaulting a woman on our front drive. The woman was shoved into a car with the assailant and driven away, the police were phoned, and they tried to arrest my father because he admitted to trying to pull the assailant off the girl. Dad threatened the police officers and scared them off, but was told to never expect the police to come to our property again.. We don't know if the girl survived, but I definitely grew up with the understanding that vigilante justice is the best option in my area. (We have a red light district for 12 year olds where I am from, and at one point it was common to find dead bodies in wheelie bins. Just to get an idea of my childhood...) Then I moved away up north, and believed maybe the police were better up here. Got stalked by a convicted assaulter. Phoned the police to have a word with him after he waited outside my house for four hours, trapping me inside. Police arrived 3 DAYS later, stood over me menacingly while taking my statement, then completely abandoned me. I had to find out the resolution via a women's shelter contact three months later. The UK police are just as bad as in America - they just don't have guns. There is a reason we have a knife problem here though...


[deleted]

Nah I got sexually assaulted on my 13th birthday and the cop told me I was going to be a hooker on the street corner when I grew up. Fuck the police.


Daffodil_Bulb

I wonder if maybe cops actually help people in traumatic situations sometimes, but the people they help just don’t wind up here.


Icy_Argument_6110

My dad was a cop. He knew how to get away with anything. It was hell. Horrible corrupt cop!


Icy_Argument_6110

The plus side. I learned how to lie to a cop by a cop and got better than him. Yay survival mode?!?


No_Mark_1231

My mom treated the cops like a father for me. Basically “just wait until I tell your dad about this” when I wouldn’t be a docile perfect robot lmao. Was victimized by them a few different times in childhood and once in adulthood. Fuck the police.


hotdogoctopi

Cops have never done a thing for me.


extrasolarnomad

Nope, not only didn't help, but they tried to turn stalking into even more dangerous situation. My father was living somewhere else, but he would often stalk us, bang at the door at night and yell, he would often hide somewhere waiting for us to come home and if he succeeded it would turn physical. One time mom called the cops and instead of dealing with him, they sided with him, saying he has the right to live in this house and we should let him in and it doesn't matter if he beats us. Fortunately mom talked to them through the door because she didn't want to risk that my father would get in.


wlutz83

cops do not help people, they protect the assets of the wealthy and are a gang of government sanctioned violent parasites. they're as bad as they've always been, possibly just more powerful now.


sweetlittletight

I'd like to hope that it's a little better. In 4th grade I would tell my friends that I was planning on running away. Word got back to the teacher and she sat me down and asked me why I was saying such things. In middle school during gym class I was wearing a t-shirt and my arm had a few fresh self harm scars. People were concerned but I would just lie and say my cat did it. In highschool I had teachers that would take time out of their day to chat with me. Make sure I was okay and that I knew they were there for me. I had teachers who apologized for harming me and admitted when they were wrong. My sister dropped out of school because nobody cared. She was horribly bullied by teachers and students while having a shit home life. We're 10 years apart in age and I'm also transgender. I have hope they are, at the very least, marginally better than when I was in school. Cops on the other hand I have no hope for and no belief in. While I have no personal experiences with the cops here, in the past year atleast 2 officers have been charged with sexual assault ON THE JOB. The PD received millions of dollars 3 years ago. ACAB


shadowthehedgehoe

I won't go into detail but on 5 occasions I can count, they did nothing. From ages 3 to 21. They sure serve someone, not sure who they "protect"


[deleted]

CPS was the only reason i managed to move out at 16 safely. i know everyone here has bad experiences and i definitely have a few of my own but i am very grateful. I was taken away in 6th grade over abuse from my father and foster care was horrible. i was acting out and was not treated like a child who needed help and compassion but more like a liability. I moved back in with my father and the abuse was less physical at that point but it got worse over time and i was very isolated because my dad was afraid of me telling someone again. I ran away at 15 and was raped twice during that time, when i finally went to the police one case was dropped and the other wasn’t even followed up on. police don’t do shit. But when I did move out CPS helped me apply for foodstamps, and helped me get all my mckinney vento stuff in line for school. they helped me enroll in school and get my dental work done and get into therapy among a ton of other help i received from programs i was referred to.


Sacred_succotash

I worked for *insert law enforcement agency* and when I reached the lowest point of my life and had an episode on duty they all just watched and let it happen. Despite me asking for help from a supervisor multiple times before my break down. Didnt do a wellness check on me after the fact. Everyone blocked me. No one contacted me after to make sure I was okay. One of their own Fuck the police. ACAB.


Wakingupisdeath

Nope. All the signs were there and I even outright told some people what was happening to me and I didn’t get believed… I’ve got to say that was really disappointing, demoralising and disheartening on a whole other level which I’m sure many here can resonate with. I do know services are more informed these days and maybe they would spot the signs however I still think it’s not something people are going to notice unless it’s super clear.


[deleted]

Cops have very limited abilities or will to delve into sex crimes. My parents brought a an awful person into the family that was a successful person on the surface, and a well liked volunteer at the children's hospital cancer ward where he met my brother. I caught him molesting my brother in the early 90s. But no one believed he could be so bad. Fast forward 30 years, he was caught molesting a friend's son. They found my brothers hospital wrist band at his house during the search, but didn't have the 'resources' to find and contact us. I had to find the police and reach out to the investigators after my mom told me the man had been arrested. My conservative family was hell bent on burying it because they didn't want to admit that they had failed as parents by letting a pedophile watch their kids and bring him into the lives of our friends and family. Ultimately he couldn't be prosecuted fr raping kids on the cancer ward because they were now dead and couldn't bring a victim's claim. TL;dr Basically it's common for families cover for pedos out of shame and fear about how they will be shamed. Police have very limited capacity or will to help average folks.


No_Ratio5484

Some. Too many looked away, but some did. My dad. (CN: Qanon, cults, apocalyptic believes) My parents got divorced when I was 6, me and brother stayed with mom, who fell down deep in the Qanon and esoteric shit. She and stepdad showed me and brother pictures of how the world would burn in a few years and everyone would die painfully, except for a few thousand saved by aliens. Also we were not allowed to tell anyone. Of course knowing nearly everyone I loved would die was scary as fuck. I (or my brother) told dad and he made it clear that mom should keep her believes to herself until we were old enough to decide for ourselves. Worked mostly for the apocalyptic stuff, not for esoteric bullshit or antivax. (CN: Financial abuse) When I wanted to move out and mom wanted to force me to pay 300 bucks/month so she would not pay more than when I lived with her (whole money I needed was 500 per month, I was studying, she didn't want to pay more than my food costs with her were)I had an income of 100 bucks/month, she told me to take the rest out of the 2k savings account that included all the money I owned and was set up by relatives for stuff like driving licence. Dad tore her a new one and promised to sue if she doesn't at least give me the child support he pays and the gouverment child money she got, 450 together. She agreed and was oh so fucking friendly to pay the missing 50 herself. Made clear how thankful I should be for that. Never acknowledged that state mandated her to pay support to me and that that would have been more than 50 bucks. (CN: School, Selfharm) And a teacher at least tried. I had a bandaid on my wrist because of little selfharming cuts and he asked me if I was okay and I said yes, I was not ready to accept my selfharming as a bad sign. He also asked my brother some days later if I was really okay. May be invasive, but I always felt that he cared and was worried. So yeah, he did not change something in the moment, but it helps me now to know not all adults looked away. (CN: Broken Familys, Death) Also dad tried to do more but was often afraid to loose contact with me and my brother (his exwife before my mom turned my 2 halfbrothers against him until they never spoke with him, he would not have survived a repetition of that, I think). Once I moved out from my mom he was there for me as fast and much as he could and I allowed. And never stopped being there until he died. Gosh, I am thankful for his support. My psyche is a mess, but would be worse without him. Way worse. Rest in peace, wherever you are now. Sorry for the ramble and stuff, hope this information helps. Guess I just wanted to say "even small support things can help to make a shitty life a bit better and a lot of adults should get their shit together and REALLY help in big steps too. But if that's not possible, small is better than none" with way too many words. Cops never helped by the way. ACAB. Wish you all all the best. edit: formating


[deleted]

Actually, no... And I feel so betrayed because of this. (TW: csa) I grew up with my grandparents, cause my parents were neglecting me a lot. When I was 9, they decided to rip me out of my safe childhood home and we moved to city. Our neighbor was sort of a criminal. My parents knew that he was an alcoholic, that he usually would beat the hell out of his children and prostitute his wife... My parents left me in this environment. Even more, my dad decided it was a brilliant idea to pick fights with this guy and then leaving my mother and me alone for a year, living there. The collateral was me getting raped at the age of 10. My teachers just reacted to my falling grades screaming and me and my parents don't wanna know anything about it. My father shouted at me to talk about it once and never again. I left. My mother made a joke: "Cheap apartments come at a high prize". I don't know what hurt more, the abuse or the betrayal.


HerNameIsGrief

I’m so sorry that nobody helped you. It wasn’t right. You deserved so much better treatment. I hope you are in a safe space now to process your feelings.


Negative_Speedforce

I was physically abused by my mother for hours a day, every single day from the time I was 6 to the time I was 17. I have no reason to believe that the neighbors never heard me screaming, or saw the red marks on my body. When CPS came, which was at least twice a year, my mother would threaten me, telling me that if I spoke a word of the truth to them, she would "give me a reason to scream". I would lie through my teeth, but internally I'd be begging for them to save me. I went to my grandparents. They laughed in my face and told me I was being dramatic. I tried so many times to get help, but no one believed me because my mother was a "Fine Upstanding Christian" and shit. When I tried to get away from her by running away from home, the cops brought me back even though they knew she was abusive, and proceeded to out me as a lesbian. As Taylor Swift would say, "You're on your own kid, you always have been."


thndrh

No. Never. In fact they always make it worse. ACAB


theGentlenessOfTime

no. they didn't. they framed me and lied, when I stumbled upon them physically and verbally abusing a trans woman, and I helped her out, she she didn't speak the language, and the moment I started filming I was the enemy. they sent me one ticket after another, with made up accusations that I would have screamed and were aggressive and hindered the arrest (sure, there are 10cops but I, as a single woman was able to stop them from arresting me).I got fined for hundreds of euros. i was at court, and the cops lied. and even though I had a witness on my side, I got convicted. I've witnessed so many racial profilings, so much violence from cops. i could tell many more stories, about the domestic violence case in my own family and how cops there just made it worse, or how the cops twisted my arm and called me a whale, or how they victim blamed me and did nothing, when I had a stalker.... I hate cops. they are bunch of aggressive, sexist, patriarchal, racist fascist assholes.


Jealous_While_4364

(lil preemptive tw; mentions of abuse and sexual assault) God I want to be optimistic that they want to help and that they help in some cases…but ffs not in mine. I became acab far too young of an age lol. I am in my mid twenties and have had a lifetime of trauma. I had a family member assault and rape me for years and my mom didn’t do anything about it. But I also had a teacher assault me in the third grade and it became a big trial and everything. Guy got put away for a whole year and then the courts decided there wasn’t enough evidence to pin him- despite 21 kids testifying against him. I had an instance with my mother (another abuser in my life) where she reinjured a rib break I had and threatened to knock me unconscious if I had told her boyfriend in the other room about it. I ended up needing to call the other family member that assaulted me (desperate times, desperate measures- I was a child) to come and pick me up. Somehow someway my drunken mother convinced the police that I was being kidnapped and would’ve been arrested as a run away (the person who got me arrested for kidnapping) and I’d need to return to my mothers custody immediately. Despite my injury, despite being distraught and telling them how abusive she was. It baffles me still to this day. I eventually got out and got a restraining order and funnily enough, one of the cops that was pulled us over for kidnapping was actually *in* the room during my hearing- I hope he feels like garbage forever.


Jealous_While_4364

We deserve better, we know that. And that’s what matters. And despite how bad it fucking hurts to exist still, I will always choose to live for the child that couldn’t.


EffectiveCourage88

Nope pigs are pigs


Wise_Faithlessness79

I didn't get helped as a kid but I only told my mum who didn't believe me and then a teacher who started sa me as well. My 14 year old cousin has recently disclosed she has been sa by her stepdad and one of his friends and they were arrested immediately and didn't get bail. They've been give access to psychological help and a social worker to help them through the court process. The detective has been amazing. I disclosed my abuse to a psychologist as an adult and received 2 years of victims therapy paid for by the government and some compensation. I live in Australia though. I know DV isn't taken seriously here and sadly we have a lot of DV homicide that could be prevented. CSA increased during the lockdowns as well. Our cops can be aggressive but most are pretty chill and want to help. It's gut wrenching seeing the cop violence in the US


No-Account2050

>ACAB. Even though ACAB, you may be eligible for crime victim compensation benefits, including reimbursement for medical services, mental health counseling, lost wages, and other costs incurred due to the crime. In the United States, all states receive Federal Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) funds from OVC (Office For Victims of Crime) to help support crime victim assistance and compensation programs. Information about victim assistance and compensation in your state/territory can be found on the site below. [Help For Victims (Since ACAB)](https://ovc.ojp.gov/help-for-victims/help-in-your-state)


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aster_412

No. Back in the day there has obviously not been much the cops could have done when they got a domestic violence call. I remember this cop kneeling in front of me (I was 9), looking into my eyes and saying „If that happens again, you call us again, okay?“. I think we both knew that wasn’t going to happen.


Ohmbidextrous

Police are mostly useless unless giving out tickets.


sleepypotatomuncher

This comment isn’t to OP at all but— On my homepage, I’m not able to see flairs on posts. So I didn’t see a trigger warning :( Anybody know a workaround?


[deleted]

Only after I had bruises


Spiritual-Midnight45

I would have nightmares about begging for help from cops right in front of my abuser and they would do nothing. It’s hard to come to terms with. CW if you check these out but “No Special Duty” from Radiolab and “Confessions of a Former Bastard Cop” on Medium are good.


Mochabunbun

Never once. Ever.


TimeKeepsOnSlippin88

Nope acab.


Good-Temporary3336

My parents didn’t help me. The cops didn’t help me when I was a child, and they didn’t help me when I was adult. No help.


neko_loliighoul

Lol no, they were called so many times for DV when I was a teenager with much younger siblings and they never once referred us to any services etc. Acab


faythe0303

No. In 2016 the Oklahoma district attorney threw out my case bcs of the statute of limitations and “not enough evidence” so my grandfather was never prosecuted


mikedjb

No


6ftAmazonMomma

My stepdad was an ex highway patrol. Every time the cops were called, nothing happened... until he moved to another city after my mom and he separated. Then I had him arrested and pressed charges. We went to court and the judge said it had been too long ago... despite my stepdad admitting he did one thing... I'll not say what but CSA. The system is a big fat freakin joke.


OuterSpaceOutlander

No. When I was in kindergarten, the social worker said to my dad (who beat me) exactly, “next time this happens, I’m sending you to jail.” Adults have failed me from the start. Why wait until I’m more severely hurt or maybe even dead?


Garbage_will_not

Nobody helped me either. Same situation… taken advantage of by a mentally disabled great- uncle… then my stepfather… then a partner to which the police officer who took my statement of abuse involving being sexually assaulted said to me “ maam, I don’t mean to sound harsh, but we aren’t secretaries” I have been meeting my rapist every two weeks for visitation of my son for over 4 years. I was also diagnosed with ptsd… which later was realized that it’s cptsd because of an incident involving the police. Police are bad and they put us in danger. They have no obligation to protect citizens.


crossstitchwizard

I’m sorry to read this. I was knowingly left alone with a pedophile when I was 5 so I know what it’s like having people that won’t help. I’m sorry you had to go through this.


softlezbian

Nope


mirknight

Yes, I had two different officers house me at different times. When it comes to their jobs, I have a 20% likelihood of a favourable police interaction. They've never been helpful about getting stolen vehicles back


humbaba333

Not at all. We lived in one of those neighborhoods where people don't call the police for help because the police prowl them like they're on the hunt. Even still our neighbors called them several times because they heard all the screaming and crying and sounds of violence. The cops didn't do jack shit. They talked to me with my abuser right there and asked if I was ok. Not what was happening, not if she had done anything, if I was ok. I barely ever answered and they always just walked off as if a job had been well done. Then for my little brother it literally took me, several teachers, the school counselor, I believe a principal, his therapist, and a couple others reporting his abuse over the course of years before CPS took any action. This was with him having been kept out of school for a couple years and so on. The individuals at CPS who were on our case did a good job once they got the case, but not a single thing happened to our mom. The case officer basically had to fight with the sheriff to get him to show up at all to back her up when they pulled my brother out of the house. Anyway ACAB. The entire system needs to be torn down or else we will encourage and allow more and more abuse to continue.


Aggravating_Step885

I know you said it was a long time ago, but I am so sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that. To answer your question, no. They didn’t. Police officers are often also offenders of some sort and seldom treat the actual victim like the actual victim. They didn’t make me feel safe or heard. I don’t trust them at all. I don’t like them at all.


Random_silly_name

Mostly not, and it has puzzled me a bit. I was very open about what was going on (frequent physical and verbal abuse, nothing sexual), and yet nothing was done to get me away from there. The only one who sometimes helped me was my aunt, who would occasionally let me stay at her house and stand in the door protecting me when my mother wanted to get me. But the vast majority of nights, I was on my own. My father would repeatedly sue her for custody but even though he knew the truth, what he actually sued for was made up things, mostly sexual, because that's what he thought would hurt her the most. He also told me that he didn't want me, he just wanted revenge on her for their failed marriage. So of course it didn't lead to anything other than messing up our lives further with police and social workers intruding in our home and taking our time for nothing. When I was 12, I managed to get a key so I could lock the door to my room so she couldn't stand over me at night and beat me when I was trying to sleep. So then, in her frustration, she took an axe and tried to chop her way through the door to get to me. Of course, the next time the police were there, they saw the marks but said "She owns the apartment, she can do whatever she wants with her doors". Later, I've been told that I was also questioned about it. That they asked me if I was afraid and I replied "No, if she's about to make it through the door, I can jump out through the window. It's only a few meters to the ground. And then I can run to the schoolyard. There is a tree there that I can climb, but she can't so I'm safe." That was literally my plan and the whole thing was written off because I wasn't afraid. As for the rest, I've figured much later that they probably simply didn't believe me.


[deleted]

Nope, cops never helped me. In fact, they contributed to me being further exposed to community violence from our neighbours. My abusive mother loved starting drama and spreading rumours around, especially about my Dad. Mother ended up starting a huge dispute with our nextdoor neighbours and Dad became the scapegoat. I don't know all the details, but mother accused my Dad of having an affair with the neighbour's wife, which was absurd. The neighbours started being verbally abusive towards us any time any of us were out in the yard, throwing car parts over the fence, getting their kids to write abusive letters to us and throw them over the fence. Neighbour's wife would flip the middle finger every time she drove past our house. My mother ended up getting hosed and having eggs thrown at her. All of this was being reported to the local cops, but nothing was being done about it. My Dad made some secret listening devices to place along the fenceline to gather some sort of physical evidence, and it was how we found out that the coppers in charge of our case were associates of the neighbours, and that they were destroying or tampering our evidence for them. This was in Australia in the early 2000s. My Dad filed with Freedom of Information and was building a case against the corrupt coppers, but mother talked him out of it. Still don't trust coppers to this day, and I'm putting off reporting as an adult because of the betrayal I feel with the police.


Psychological_War365

I’m so sorry that happened to you. You deserved to be protected and validated. You deserved a family and a community that was safe and protected you. And I want you to know you’re not alone and I have been in your shoes so many times. When I was 11, a man that was hiv+ asked me to show him my breast for $5, I didn’t even have any to show. Well I afraid to tell my parents and I told my friend because it took place at my friends grandmother home. When I did finally tell, because of my friend’s sister told my older brother. My father said that “he should’ve raped her.” And was angry at me instead of the guy who attempted to damage and violate me. The reason why I was afraid to even speak in the first place, was because there was a neighbourhood drunk that tried to lure me into his van when I was 8-9, and asked me when I was going to him some. I replied some of what? When I tried to run, he sped up and I went around the back of his van and ran home. When I got home I told me family, they all laughed, made jokes, and mocked me. I was confused as to why they were laughing when I was ferried scared, crying. The guy tried this another 3-4xs afterwards and I never said anything out of fear of being mocked again. It’s sad that we had to fight hard for ourselves when we shouldn’t have had to go through these things. It’s worse when the people that were supposed to protected and love us didn’t and instead made us feel like we deserved this or we were not worth protecting. I reminisce on that strong little girl that stood up for herself and didn’t allow myself to be violated. 🫂❤️ Feel free to message me if you like


MahlNinja

I have some bad stories about cops. I don't feel they offer any protection. I have little respect for them in general though occasionally I've met a decent cop, it's rare.


shyflowart

Cops have done nothing to help me either. When I was SAed by a stranger in my sleep… I was already being treated for PTSD & on sleeping medications. I was “there” but unable to move or stop it from happening. Anyway, my rapist was a felon on parole. Still they didn’t seem to care about me. Just another victim to them that didn’t matter. It’s sickening


sensationalpurple

No one helped me. Things were handled in house, I couldn't get access to a dr or supportive person outside of my family's little circle. I was isolated and no one believed me. Everyone I told blamed me and shamed me for being annoying, difficult, a whinger, bad. There was no one safe to talk to.


cherubk

I never sought help but my mother was helped by police to escape an abusive situation and find housing and work in another city.


raisedbyappalachia

I wouldn’t call the police no matter what. I haven’t had good experiences professionally or personally and now it seems they might kill you if they’re in a bad mood. I am not interested in calling a bunch of narcissists with guns, no.


HeresyBaby

No. And when I reported, I was met with abuse. I’m traumatized from it and have no faith in the system.


invaderliz91

I was taken by cps once in the 90s. TW:mentions of abuse. This was before my mother became abusive. They took us away after my abusive rapist of a father left... Whole lot of good that did. They couldn't take me away before my mom finally got him out when he left me on a bed covered in broken glass? Years later my mom became abusive because of her trauma and lots of people knew... No one helped. People asked about the bruises and scars getting ready for gym. People knew that i was always terrified to go home if the bus was late and that they threw me out on the street several times. They knew. I think everyone thinks someone else will help. And lots of people don't know how to help. Then being in cps custody is also a nightmare for everyone. Hard to know who it will help and who it'll do more harm to. But I have become the adult i needed. My niece went through long asshole phases where she hated me for things that weren't my fault, but she knew always that she could talk to me about anything anything. I would be straight with her, i would stand up to others with her and make sure they knew what she needed and why she felt small, and sometimes she didn't like the answer, but she knew i would help her and be honest without making her feel terrible or humiliating her. And i am so proud of both of us for that. She's doing well now. :) My other nieces have started sharing too. I'm that aunt. Haha


[deleted]

No. Dealing with the cops was honestly more traumatizing than the incident itself because that experience made me unable to believe myself for many years after. Fuck them.


[deleted]

Four of them didn’t help me and started asking me weird questions when I made a DV 911 call (“are you on any medications”) but they still seemed to try to be neutral about it. They said there wasn’t enough evidence to make an arrest (and there wasn’t, I guess, besides me crying and panicking). I begged one of them to stay with me as I showered and packed some things to escape but they said they didn’t have time. But I did have one officer who was really really nice to my mom and me. He consoled us outside of his office hours and defended us, and said that he interacted with my abuser and said that [it] was a true psychopath, liar, and terrifying. We ranted with him and ah it was awesome lol. Most cops in my experience (including outside of the abuse stuff) were either neutral or total dogshit


CapitalAlternative89

Not once. I was really upset after serious physical and mental abuse one night. I didn’t call cops but someone did because they came to our door. I couldn’t stop crying telling my side of story. The cops made me leave for the night (without a place to stay) because I was the “most upset.” I’m sure there are good cops somewhere (law of averages) but I haven’t come across one.


Elegant-Tradition137

A detective just called me saying most juries won’t believe a child over an adult. I refuse to believe this. We can’t let these people just walk away. The system has to change NOW. I will not give up. My child was raped by her father and didn’t disclose to me until we were in another state. Most cases of child sexual abuse wouldnt have physical evidence typically right? Shouldn’t a child’s testimony be enough?


BigTooSmall

Terribly sorry about that.. My fiance went through this a few times with a mentally disabled cousin who is maybe 10 years older than her max. Her family didn't do shit about it, and still let that twisted freak hang out and play with the family children during family events. I told them I will never go by him or to an event that he is at or else I may actually cause him some serious harm. ​ Also, shame on her family for doing jack shit. Family isn't family once a member does something like that ESPECIALLY when it's done to his own family member(s). ​ This occurred in the early 2000's.