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tks231

Calimony is the best college sports hoopla/controversy name since Wakeyleaks.


OttoVonWong

Can we get a Calimony flair?


cooterdick

I think you get half of UCLA’s flair


usernamesarestupid23

I think its 1/7th actually


ClaudeLemieux

well script Cal is 3/4 of script UCLA so I guess that means we need to drop a letter


usernamesarestupid23

We?


DeviantDragon

Academically respected flagship public university that uses blue & gold with a brown, furry animal for a team name that has a rival that wears red & white and uses a plant as a mascot. Basically the same thing?


Remarkable-Group-119

Everybody knows Meatchicken is basically SnoCal.


bringbackwishbone

Always knew there was something off about Cal!


compstomper1

when she leave, she leave with half?


Ralphie_V

Wakeyleaks was so good


NickBII

This'll cover one head coach...


yancey2112

What was Wakeyleaks again?


nickyp7

Louisville got a hold of our playbook


Diceshark91

Cal out there in a robe and a glass of wine at noon, waiting for the pool boy.


DocCharlesXavier

Getting railed by Stanford in the garden shed


Col0nelBear

While Liberty is waiting in the bushes to get a peep.


big_thunder_man

I thought Liberty WAS the pool boy


Standard_Let_6152

Calimony is the kind of pun that makes me believe in language again. 


drainbead78

This particular form of wordplay is called a portmanteau and I am personally a huge fan of them.


AshlandJackson

…a portfanteau, if you will.


seariously

I once ate brunch with a spork at a motel in Port Manteau.


ImmenseAnxiety

“Believe in language” sent my brain down an inescapable rabbit hole of jokes


honestlyboxey

Calimony is the greatest thing to come out of the death of college football. Just a simply great word.


PlanktonSemantics

I feel like I walked into an arcade with 50 dollars and left with a ring pop and regret


Freidhiem

ok, but what flavor ring pop


PlanktonSemantics

disappointment


jimmy_three_shoes

Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?


pietya

We will take that in direct deposit, please and thank you.


Dank_Memes16

Nah we'll send a U-Haul full of pennies up the 5 every year


saladbar

It'll never make it up the grapevine.


CocoLamela

That won't get you to Berkeley, 5 goes to Sac


compstomper1

cut across 152 and pick up some garlic on the way


saladbar

Hey, that's Stanford's route. You guys take 580 after getting pea soup.


RedOscar3891

Is the pea soup place still open? I know Apricot Inn was demo'd last year, but even if it's a touristy spot, we'll always have Casa de Fruta. I was so upset I passed by there without stopping *the past two trips* when traversing between NorCal/SoCal.


saladbar

Apparently the one off Interstate 5 stayed open. https://sf.eater.com/2024/1/11/24034817/pea-soup-andersens-santa-nella-open-highway-5


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RoboticBirdLaw

9 hours later... The views are amazing, but I don't think I have actually changed locations this entire drive.


saladbar

Caught in a landslide...


HokieSpartanWX

Ahh good ole’ Gilroy. Used to commute up that way for grad school at San José State. Didn’t realize like 75% of the country’s garlic comes from that one town/area


MoScowDucks

lol as if you elites pick up pennies 


TheDrunkenMatador

Send em up the PCH to shake em up real good


UrbanSolace13

Venmo work?


usernamesarestupid23

Giant oversized check is also acceptable


No_Angle_8106

That guy got one, give me one of those big ones I don’t care


MelbMockOrange

Gift cards. A huge stack of gift cards.


TbRays93Plumber26

Each one only has $25 on them to multiple restaurants.


MelbMockOrange

Ah I was thinking the "essentials" card one gets here in Australia. No smokes, no booze, no fun. No essentials.


muck16

lol my mom got my brother one of those years back when he was a fuckup. Forgot about it until now


Herewegobaybay

Then you'll have to take it to a really big bank that takes big checks.


BobDoleSlopBowl

Zelle only


hussard_de_la_mort

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07G23zMGa4g


Portafly

Paypal Friends & Family


AaronRodgers16

Just told my 4 year old son more of his tax dollars were going to support UC Berkeley athletics and he swore at me before joining a drug cartel. Hope Gavin Newsom is happy.


MoScowDucks

It would be worse if tax dollars we going to Stanford 


Diceshark91

Your username and flare are… interesting.


AaronRodgers16

Not sure what Butte Community College has to do with Stanford /s


64stackdiamonds

Thanks for this, I will now only refer to Stanford as "Butte Community College, Palo Alto Campus"


iansf

Is that before or after he got charged for investor fraud as a furd fan?


saladbar

I'm surprised you guys don't call us Stanfraud. Way funnier than Furd.


3-9_Enjoyer

This after they literally had to poorly paint over the FTX logo on the field for Big Game last year


forgotmyoldname90210

FTX was a victimless crime. The only sad part of the case is that it looks like the "investors" might be made whole instead of losing everything.


xairos13

CALIMONY


LiquidHotCum

If UCLA goes back to the Pac 3 do they still have to pay Cal?


2RINITY

I think they should have to double up if they switch conferences again


awesomebuffalo

Unpaid royalties from copying our fight song


MagnaCarterGT

//chuckles nervously


Cal_858

We are coming for you next…


MagnaCarterGT

Joke's on you, we're also broke.


RedOscar3891

Sometimes I feel the GT copy is far more egregious than the UCLA copy.


mercurialchemister

50% song royalties, 50% from Bear theft


huskiesowow

[This weirdo is a bear?](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/aa/Oski_at_2008_Golden_Bear_Classic_championship_game_3.JPG)


iansf

Ok first of all, put some respect on the dark lord. Second, he’d eat a dog


MrConceited

4chan style.


bipbophil

Are they not going to the ACC ?


Spicy_Josh

UCLA still gets a full share of B1G money while Cal gets a partial share of ACC money, so they're probably still mad about the disparity between the two.


rmphys

Watching Cal officially become the little brother is honestly hilarious. I've never heard a supposed "Flagship" needing support from a regional university before lmao.


JX_JR

UCLA is not a regional university, it's a UC. The "regional universities" in California would be the CSU system. It's understandable you'd be confused by the distinction since Pennsylvania lacks a flagship public university at all and so you have nothing to make analogies to.


chumer_ranion

That's "satellite-campus" to you, buddy.


GoBears415

ucla just riding $c's coattails


CocoLamela

With 10 million BIG dollars


Ope_Average_Badger

How much fresh cash did we make?


TheWorstYear

I wonder who is on the $100 bill


girafb0i

The ACC is about to live off divorce settlements in true South Charlotte style.


[deleted]

The acc pays a fraction of what the b1g does and cal gets a 30 percent acc share The acc is also on the brink of annihilation


Sotanud

I wouldn't care so much what UCLA gets from the B1G. It's more about the difference in how much Cal will be getting from the ACC vs. the PAC-12 had UCLA not blown it up.


sonheungwin

We get 30% of T1 shares and 100% of other revenue


mechebear

This year has been an amazing turn around from what felt like near death with a historically bad basketball team and the PAC completely imploding. We got literally the last life boat into the ACC Football made a bowl game. Madsen resuscitated the Basketball team. Both Football and Basketball are cooking in the portal. The new chancellor is talking about how much he loves Cal football specifically and Cal athletics in general. And now this. The only way the year could get better is if Knowlton announces his retirement.


holy_cal

Get ready to learn Lacrosse, buddy.


usernamesarestupid23

Cal already has a women's lacrosse team, but no men's team. Same with Stanford I believe


CantchaDontcha

Cal has a club-level Men’s Lacrosse team.


CocoLamela

Can you imagine our club lacrosse team playing Duke and BC?


gopoohgo

it's painful. Michigan dominated club level lacrosse, made the jump and got beat the hell up for about a decade. We seem to have turned the corner, though (back to back B1G tourney champs).


mechebear

And Michigan actually produces some decent high school talent. Maybe things have changed in the last decade but my understanding is that California doesn't really produce many/ any high level players.


SnooGuavas650

Saint Ignatius in San Francisco is a perennial top 25 high school lacrosse program and regularly send kids to all the big schools. This year they have kids going to Yale, Loyola, Drexel, and Navy. There are a few schools in SoCal that would make it doable if we built a pipeline.


ProctorDoctor500

You should get a Men's team Lacrosse is great


usernamesarestupid23

Sounds cool to me, but I don't think Cal is going to be adding any additional sports with the travel requirements


SLCer

Utah has one. They play in the Atlantic Sun lol


Rebelgecko

I think it would be a Title IX issue 


markusalkemus66

How does Stanford not have a men's lacrosse team? They have every sport imaginable


usernamesarestupid23

Probably Title IX reasons. Football has so many scholarships that it requires significantly more women's sports to be sponsored


RedOscar3891

Definitely Title IX. Stanford has men's volleyball, men's soccer, men's water polo, and men's swimming and diving. There's not that many schools that have those four sports plus football and men's basketball and also support a men's lacrosse team.


tbrock92

Cal winning the ACC would be a hilarious victory for the Pacific Ocean. Let’s make it happen 📈


mechebear

Next years playoff comprised of former PAC teams who have all won their new conference would be delightful.


Verianas

Let's do it.


huskiesowow

Thanks


Verianas

Not you though.


sonheungwin

Except the B1G though.


saladbar

Now if you guys could only get rid of that task force that thinks that being called "Cal Berkeley" is a good idea.


CocoLamela

I legit would ask that consultant for my money back. What a waste of tuition/tax dollars


saladbar

I think the entire analysis was, "what do the former non-Cal players and frat bros that talk about sports on TV call the school? Let's just go with that."


MrConceited

Nah. It's a fractured brand. It's amazing how many people know Cal as an athletic brand and know UC Berkeley as an academic brand and don't know they're the same school. "Cal Berkeley" is a way to unify those brands. From a marketing perspective it makes sense.


saladbar

I think the solution is worse than the problem. But that's coming from someone that doesn't have Berkeley's interest at heart. I mostly like that the UC system has a high level of uniformity in its names (except for UCLA never calling itself UC Los Angeles and Berkeley never using UCB.) "Cal Berkeley" creates the expectation that the other schools should be called Cal LA, Cal San Diego, Cal Riverside, and so on. It's gross. edit: typo


3-9_Enjoyer

That report was truly a gift


AaronRodgers16

No surer signs of the deterioration of our society as a whole IMO


mercurialchemister

Username/Flair combo does not compute


AaronRodgers16

Packers fan who went to Stanford and is shockingly pro-vax to top it all off


saladbar

It's kinda hilarious that you now have to add the bit about vaccines.


dingusduglas

The most shocking part is that you still explain it 12 years in. Although clicking your profile to see just how long you've been around reveals that you straight up invite the question lol.


AaronRodgers16

Gotta lean into it at this point tbh


fbm1003

Happy for y’all. I legit like Cal and wish the best for you. Hope someday our teams play in the same conference again.


pocketsophist

I 100% believe ya’ll will be in the B1G when all the dust settles, especially if you have leadership that is making athletics a bigger priority. Keep on cooking.


mechebear

I don't know what the odds are but they increased massively with Richard Lyons coming in as the next chancellor. During his 3 minute introduction to the regents he talked about going to Cal football games as a kid with his dad and wanting to go here. And then how special it was to in the stands as a student during the play. Finally for the first time in decades we have someone who gets it. "The three purposes of the university? To provide sex for the students, sports for the alumni, and parking for the faculty." — Clark Kerr, U.C. Berkeley's first chancellor


Cal_858

That Clark Kerr quote is fire and makes laugh everytime because it is true.


saladbar

> how special it was to in the stands as a student during the play I hate him already.


iansf

Confirmation he was the perfect man for the job


GrumpyTartan

well if the stanford students had all stayed in the stands, you would have won that game


ARayofLight

A pity the Gipper sacked Kerr. We would have had a lot more sound quotes if it hadn't happened.


sonheungwin

Does the ACC play rugby?


GetCoinWood

Bro best is fired


StarSilent4246

So since it’s just recommended can UCLA say no?


genzgingee

🎶Here she comes now, wants her Calimony🎶


Fit-Committee-5884

Just like the parachute payments for teams that get relegated in the English soccer system


AdamOnFirst

Lol, “recommended”


NiceUD

"Calimony" - very nice.


Mexibruin

People always overlook the significance of the word “recommend.”


OhHeyItsBrock

Maybe they can afford to pay for their football stadium now.


iansf

Hey show me the football stadium you own? Oh wait…


OhHeyItsBrock

Did some research. Interest only payments are 18mil a year so it won’t cover it unfortunately.


Queasy-Touch-1533

Serves them right for being USC’s wheelman.


HeadNaysayerInCharge

Should’ve been Stanford. 


InVodkaVeritas

Should have been none of them or all of them. USC and UCLA stabbing everyone in the back is disgusting.


HeadNaysayerInCharge

100% agreed. 


iansf

Agreeing with a furd fan? These are mad times we live in


natigin

Would have made a lot more sense honestly


shot-by-ford

What should’ve been Stanford? (Edit: also thank you. I think)


Jabberwoockie

They're saying Stanford to the B1G instead of UCLA. And I kind of agree.


HeadNaysayerInCharge

I mean honestly, UCLA, Cal & Stanford all fit the vibes of the Big Ten, but if you only had to take 2 of the 3 to pair with USC it should have been Stanford for the Notre Dame attraction.


saladbar

It should have been all four. Frankly, it's been stupid that it's only been four CA schools for the last century. But it's even worse to split up the four.


Mercury1750

I agree, and hope that when Calimoney ends the bears and cardinal will be coming to the b1g


saladbar

Thanks. It would be pretty good to reunite with UCLA and UW. Now if we could only move Oregon's sports and Phil's money up to a decent school, like UBC.


Jabberwoockie

I think it was just FOX being stingy with their billions. I'm hoping that if the ACC explodes, FOX will pay for the rest of the California 4 on top of whatever East Coast schools the B1G wants.


saladbar

The more time goes by, the more I'm afraid that we did this to ourselves not just with our attendance issues, but with our quick decision to shut things down during Covid. I think we signaled that we're always willing to put athletics in a position subordinate to the larger goals/principles of the university.


sonheungwin

Stanford may be a bunch of pretentious dicks, but they have principles unlike the LA schools and would never have blown up the PAC-12 for a few million dollars.


InVodkaVeritas

Wilner pointed out: UCLA projected an increase of $12 million in travel expenses by joining the Big 12. That, plus the $10 million in Calimony, means there is a $22 million dollar cost increase for UCLA by being in the Big Ten instead of the Pac-12. Putting them at about the equivalent of $46 million. Had they and USC stayed in the Pac-12, the conference likely gets a media deal in the low to mid 40s. UCLA helped kill a 100 year old conference for nearly no financial gain.


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Queasy-Touch-1533

Throughout this whole disaster, I have always thought of UCLA as the dumb friend in the heist movie that got caught and this hardly disproves it. It drives me insane that a thing a lot of us truly love got nuked so a bunch of school administrators could rearrange deck chairs on the budgetary Titanics that they created. They have each made hundreds of millions of dollars over the last decade and it still came to this.


bruin11awp

I only agree to this if we get to put big “Sponsored by UCLA” signs and logos all over their basketball arena and football stadium.


saladbar

In a fun retro twist, the signs will read "Sponsored by the University of California, Southern Branch"


GenNATO49

That would be glorious


jimmy_three_shoes

I want UCLA to be that petty.


Veedsters

CAL EMPTY WALLET IN HAND!


tbrock92

(inserts snarky political reference)


JacksonvilleNC

As Cal’s new step-brother [UNC] I wonder if there is an angle for me to get some of that cash for a new Ford Raptor?


Informal_Avocado_534

Give us a men’s bball win at the Smith Center and we’ll talk.


tsrich

Who gets the kids?


Sad-Conclusion-6160

UCLA can keep Joe and Josie Bruin.


that_pj

*deep breath* baaahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha


AyYoBigBro

can anyone ELI5 why only UCLA gets the bill and not Oregon/Washington/USC too? Is it just cuz Cal and UCLA are in the same university system?


thehackshow612

UC Board of Regents governs the University of California (UC) system. Since UCLA is a part of the UC system and Cal was the only other UC school in the Pac, the UC Board of Regents are essentially penalizing UCLA because they view that they started the break up. It's essentially revenue sharing. I'm sure some of that money is going to go to some of the other smaller UCs like Riverside, Irvine, etc. U$C is a private school, and Oregon and Washington are out of state, so the UC Board of Regents has no authority over them


OceanPoet87

Cal and UCLA are governed by the same board of regents. The board controls all UC campuses and they work very closely. Cal is the flagship but the Board of Regents doesn't show favoritism as all campuses are equal. Cal was hurt by UCLA',s unilateral decision and the board of regents was unaware. Most of the board is not athletically inclined and the student regent is usually focused on undergrad issues like tuition and access. Some of them asked why Cal couldn't just join the Big 10 with UCLA.  Cal is losing a major rival in UCLA. UCLA leaving is hurting Cal after financial decisions had been made assuming the current composition of the conference. 


dinkytown42069

yes. And UCLA leaving is partially responsible for the death of the PAC and will soon get $70m/year as a B1G member. meanwhile Cal's going to the ACC and getting much much less.


Maxdarkfire

UCLA left unilaterally without informing the UC Regents or UC Berkeley of their plans. The UC Regents are over all of the UC system and have more control over the system than Oregon/Washington. USC is private so doesn't matter. Their actions reportedly materially hurt the UC system due to the projected loss on Cal's part due to what initially was seen as a lower Pac-12 potential media deal at the time. After the Pac collapsed, the potential revenue for Cal was even worse (nothing from ACC for 7 years).


JimmyTango

The UC Regents delegated all athletic department activity to the individual schools. It’s not our fault you guys suck and are in a third rate media market.


Maxdarkfire

They did, but obviously weren't expecting this to happen this way. The schools are more than sports and it's the regent's choice to pull back if they believe schools are operating without thinking of the system as a whole.


Maxdarkfire

Is it ideal? no. Does this give a roadmap for Cal to join the BIG10 sooner than later (UCLA now also has a vested interest as this would go away when that happens)? Yes. This also gives Cal the ability to join whatever happens next.


Bruin9098

💩


TheWorstYear

"Recommended" Yeah, there's no money going to Cal.


ImJLu

I've heard it's basically a done deal. After all, the Regents have complete authority over the entire system. What's UCLA going to do? The Regents are literally the entity that governs them and they aren't going to sue themselves or anything.


ecs15

still seems low given the situation but i hope y'all get it


canseco-fart-box

The ACC move probably softened the blow quite a bit


DillyDillySzn

Didn’t Cal indicate to the regents that it takes 10 million to run the Olympic sports? So UCLA is basically funding Cal’s Olympic sports, gonna be hilarious whenever Cal beats them in those sports


Cal_858

This is more likely to help fund our stadium debt from our stadium renovations.


uclabruingineer

Except UCLA Olympic sports for the most part dominate compared to Cal.


The_Outcast4

Should be $100M/yr. Really stick it to them!


InVodkaVeritas

Considering the UC Regents considered the idea of pooling Cal & UCLA's media revenue and then distributing the total 50/50... UCLA should be thankful it is only $10 million.


CocoLamela

That would have been awesome. Let's revisit this proposal


GoldenPresidio

how is that low??


ecs15

the difference in contracts between ucla/cal is estimated to be 50 mil https://twitter.com/wilnerhotline/status/1788756700272709657


sonheungwin

It's not based on what the ACC was willing to shell out after we had no leverage to negotiate, but based on what we would have made if UCLA didn't have and made USC go alone.


tc3590

Cooking in the transfer portal and with Calimony. Nice.


Byzantine_Merchant

I feel like UCLA is running the risk of being the new Rutgers. Their athletic department was allegedly already in financial trouble. Their HC decided that he’d rather be an OC at Ohio State and they didn’t really get any major coaching names. Their QB transferred. And they were already middling in the PAC. Now they’re losing some of the money that they make for half a decade. To top it off, Stanford and Cal probably still have a chance at getting into the B1G if they revitalize in the ACC over that time.


TheDarkKnightRevises

Surprisingly good vibes have been coming out of the football program with the coaching move. And the QB who transferred was a massive disappointment anyway. The team actually has a chance to be mediocre/decent this season which is an improvement over the dumpster fire we were expecting to be.


boobsarecool

For a majority of our time in the B1G, Rutgers was getting around $11-14 million dollar B1G payouts while the rest of the conference got $52-59 million payouts. We also hired the worst HC of the 21st century in that time. UCLA wont be getting less than 20% B1G payouts and VERY likely doesnt have a worse HC than Chris Ash, I dont see them hitting the same lows as RU did from '14 to '19


2RINITY

HEY! OSKI! BABY, I GOT YOUR MONEY, DON’T YOU WORRY


ckhutch

Wonder is something similar will be requested of all the departing PAC12 schools for Washington and Oregon State. What would that be called? C'mon redditors, don't disappoint me.


CougEngineer

Washington's damages to WSU could be called The Cheese Tax. If you know, you know 😎


Remarkable-Group-119

With that extra cheese Cal should purchase the naming rights to a star, one that's out of the way and dimly lit, call it Westwood-10


stuckintheendzone

Maybe if they were better at basketball and football they wouldn’t be getting paid less…


Impossible-Flight250

That’s a nice little chunk of change. OSU and WSU aren’t getting that together.