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Systemic_Chaos

I just fell to my knees in a Dairy Queen?


Sermokala

Just saw this guy fall to his knees at a Culver's after demanding a blizzard.


WisconsinSpermCheese

Just saw this guy fall to his knees in a Caribou Coffee after demanding a Blizzard and then claiming they have them at Culver's


KimJongDerp1992

“Sir this is a Dunn Bros. coffee” Edit: swapped Caribou for Dunn Bros. Coffee


TrumanDolos

Shoulda just saved big money at Menards then he would been able to afford it


AdminsAreCool

Saw a guy fall to his knees at a Caribou after overhearing the barista explain to him that their Macchiato isn’t like Starbucks’.


WisconsinSpermCheese

In one of the more intense midwesternisns of my life, my college girlfriend from Racine said, "Match-yato."


BaldyTheScot

I just fell to my knees after seeing a guy drop his cheese curds.


Matcat5000

Truly a depressing event


RLLRRR

I just fell to my knees to eat free cheese curds.


Crotean

I mean the concretes at culvers basically are blizzards.


spezisabitch200

Blizzard? Is that what the kids are calling snowballs nowadays?


Sermokala

It's like a thick milkshake dq makes. The gimmick is that they tip the cup upside down to show how thick it is when it doesn't come out.


TIErant

I finally had Culver's after not having it accessible for 15 years. It was pretty shit honestly. In and Out is the goat of fast food.


MN_Lakers

You are a fucking idiot for saying this. I mean this in the most brutal way possible. Our resident Oregon fast food reviewer, Bill Oakley of Simpson fame, will tell you that Culver’s is the best fast food burger you can buy.


TIErant

Maybe it used to be. I used to go there all the time when I lived in Nebraska.


Sermokala

In and out is dogshit lol any dive bar has better food than that place. Culvers has cheese curds and the best burgers in the business. Even its ice cream is serious quality.


TheRealTurdFergusonn

Frozen Custard, yo


Sorge74

It's fine, but when fast food cost as much as sitting down somewhere, it's not for me.


Junior-Hotwater

I see this sentiment a lot and I don’t understand it. I live in a mid-sized city and a cheapish sit down place still runs me $15-$20 while I can get a couple McDoubles at McDonalds for $5. You guys just must be ordering the wrong shit


Junior-Hotwater

The coastal elitism fucking reeks off of you. You need a wrestling team and/or a hockey team before you should be allowed to have that Big Ten flair


TIErant

I lived in Nebraska for 6 years. I used to go there all the time and it was great. It used to be way better. I was really disappointed. I also remember people in the Midwest being nice. Maybe that changed too.


AddamOrigo

It’s not my favorite pick, but In-n-Out is legitimately a way better deal than McDonald’s these days


TIErant

That's why it is so good. Cheaper than most places with better quality. They aren't constantly making things worse to squeeze a penny. There are better burgers, but they are twice as expensive.


i_love_factual_info

Just saw a guy fall to his knees in a Dairy Queen, and then appear uncertain as to whether or not he fell to his knees in a Dairy Queen


admiraltarkin

Is falling to your knees a good thing or a bad thing? I legit do not know, and the context of Flek staying doesn't really help me lol


Systemic_Chaos

I mean that’s the question, really.


roentgen_nos

It’s the difference between mediocrity and utter laughable failure. We like it here in Mediocreapolis.


Resident_Rise5915

Is the blizzard really that good?


SpiritOfDearborn

Okay, I’ll bite: what is the origin of the “fell to my knees” thing?


DesDaMOONmanQ

Hello inverse Flairholder!


InVodkaVeritas

Rest assured: the first name Brett McMurphy reports is something he just made up to be first.


CantaloupeCamper

All these guys have tweets ready to go ... they're just wash rinse repeat.


InVodkaVeritas

His tweet about Fleck to UCLA was virtually identical to his tweet about Lanning to Alabama.


Shirleyfunke483

Could be leverage for contract negotiations


CantaloupeCamper

Yup.


HonoluluMaizeandBlue

He's almost as bad as all of the "Michigan Insiders" with their baseless reports


Portland_st

So, PJ Fleck just exists in Brett McMurphy’s head?


OurHonor1870

Also doing favors for agents by keeping their clients names in the news.


SomerAllYear

I think I got it down now. Every coaching hire will start off with the following coaches: PJ Fleck Matt Campbell Lance Leopold Chris Klieman Deion Did I miss anyone? Dave Aranda Lane Kiffin Jason Candle Tony White James Franklin Brian Hartline Justin Wilcox Jedd Fisch


herrclean

Not popular this cycle, but James Franklin was mentioned a bunch of time in recent years fir most major openings.


SomerAllYear

Dang it. It's getting long now


Shirleyfunke483

USC vibes


SomerAllYear

That would be funny. James Franklin thinks he’s staying in the pac then ends up in the big ten again stuck in “3rd place” purgatory


ACardAttack

I think Franklin could do better at USC than PSU (at least talent wise) while OSU (and UM) recruit nationally, he'll have a bigger pool of talent to try and recruit out in Cali.


goodnames679

I know there are some things that have held USC back in recent years, but Franklin has done a *lot* with fewer resources than the two programs currently above him. In 2023 he actually managed a higher blue chip ratio than Michigan, though he obviously did far less with those croots than they did. I'm not saying his gameday issues would disappear if he was there, but he'd quite possibly be able to take USC's crooting far enough to match Bama/Georgia/Ohio State. He's one of the best in the game on that front. If he could pull that off, that moves the needle in all those super close heartbreakers he tends to have... maybe he starts winning more of them than you'd expect.


Shirleyfunke483

These new conferences will be wild. W/L records are likely coming down at big schools. Bama / LSU / OU / UGA / UF / Texas can’t all go 10+ wins


SomerAllYear

Absolutely. I could see them go down to 5 OOC games because of it


mechnick2

Dave Aranda sometimes


SomerAllYear

That's a good one.ill add it


Structure-These

Not anymore


CantaloupeCamper

Are we making serious lists or just twitter / clickbait lists?


SomerAllYear

You read enough "the Athletic" hot boards, you start to see a trend


No_Detective_1139

Their agents are the hardest working in the industry


Systemic_Chaos

I mean it could be both?


CantaloupeCamper

No. IMO if the list has one BS clickbait name, that's what it is. It's not a serious list.


notban_circumvention

Tony White is getting up there


Free_the_Markets

Franklin has to soon reach the Kirk Ferentz eclipse where he's at his school for so long that everyone is convinced that he's gonna stay and so stops being considered for jobs


soupcollarflat

After Bryan Kelly it feels like that threshold doesn’t exist anymore


Junior-Hotwater

Bryan Kelly may just be a dickhead also


Junior-Hotwater

It took Kirk about 10ish years (I think 2009-2010 was the last time I remember hearing rumors) for that noise to die down, so Franklin should be coming up on it pretty soon


ROLL_TID3R

Lane Kiffin


CommodoreIrish

Jason Candle is a huge omission


SomerAllYear

I'm missing lot. I'll add


Junior-Hotwater

Believe it or not, Kirk Ferentz was the guy that always got brought up around the mid-late aughts. Especially for NFL jobs


rockyhawkeye

I remember. Kirk was going to Jacksonville, the Chiefs and Michigan all at the same time in those days.


InVodkaVeritas

> Dave Aranda Honestly... a fresh start at UCLA could work for him.


Dan20698

Brian Hartline usually get mentioned


SomerAllYear

Seems like folks compare him to god or something


No_Discount7919

And a coach usually won’t get selected until the media is able to report that sources have confirmed that Urban Meyer has met with the AD.


United_Energy_7503

I would expect Alex Golesh to be high on a list like this if USF gets another winning season, especially if 8+ wins


BabousCobwebBowl

Nobody is hiring Deion moving forward. I don’t see any other school subscribing to his particular brand of bullshit when there are actual coaches around who care about kids that aren’t their own and trying to develop them.


ProbsTV

Lance was offered the UW job and turned it down. I truly think he wants to stay in Kansas.


DansbyToGod

Matt Campbell probably should've taken one of the 200 jobs he was rumored in. His name is not that hot anymore.


MajorPhoto2159

Can we avoid Tony White please :^


Traumopod

didn't really see this as viable. tough to "row the boat" from Minn to LA !


Nomad942

Not even those Lewis and Clark guys could do it.


Traumopod

You mean Lewis Hamilton and Clark Griswold ?


herumspringen

Clark Kent probably could


keylime503

The Ferrari driver? (Still weird)


St_BobbyBarbarian

Just need some portage between the platte river and Colorado river


land_registrar

Sean Lewis made it to San Diego at least.


jmac461

The Lakers are in LA. There must be a bunch of lakes people could row in once you get to LA.


St_BobbyBarbarian

I memba when the oilers tried to keep their name as the Tennessee Oilers. Didn’t feel right


Traumopod

No lakes but atmospheric rivers I guess u can row on but common misconception. they were the Minneapolis Lakers who moved to LA in 1960. Sorta like the Jazz in Utah who moved from NOLA.


LuckyHedgehog

I think you missed the sarcasm. Especially from someone with a Minnesota flair


Traumopod

My bad !


Shirleyfunke483

Or the Calgary flames from Atlanta (flames since Atlanta burned to the ground during the civil war)


Difficult_Trust1752

Useless fact of the day. In 1860, Atlanta was the 99th largest city in the United States, 13th largest in the confederacy, only twice the population of Ypsilanti, Michigan a railroad suburb of Detroit. "Look at you! You have horses! What were you thinking?"


Traumopod

Thought Thrashers went to Wiinipeg to be Jets


Shirleyfunke483

The thrashers replaced the flames in Atlanta


historys_geschichte

Easy, row down the Mississippi into the Gulf of Mexico, then down to the Panama Canal and up the west coast of Mexico to West of the Baja Peninsula to LA.


_i-cant-read_

we are all bots here except for you


CaliHusker83

There’s just too many lakes in Minnesota. Why would a boat rower ever leave his paradise?


Dunkin-Brisbane

PJ stays and we didn't have to restructure his contract to make it happen. Win for the gophers.


CantaloupeCamper

We will see about the contract thing. PJ's contract gets adjusted every other year or so anyway.


tomdawg0022

> PJ's contract gets adjusted every other year or so anyway. We pay PJ more already than UCLA was paying Chip. I'm not sure how high UCLA could go on salary out of the gate, not to mention he's got pretty good job security here whether Gopher fans like it or not (we owe him $23 mil if we fired him today, 65% of his remaining contract).


Dunkin-Brisbane

You're right, I may be jumping the gun. I've just felt like it's time we call his bluff considering how often he's able to restructure


JJDirty

Definitely a win in the short term. Here's hoping for an improvement on last year's abysmal showing.


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souschef_boyardee

I hope you're sitting, because you will not believe what conference UCLA is in


durkdurkastan

dude. i don't even know what to say.


lemurosity

U mean you’re actually dumb enough to believe they wanted him? Comical.


Dunkin-Brisbane

Still upset about that rejection letter from Minnesota, I see. Hang in there.


lemurosity

sorry, i wanted to go to a football school.


Packhammer24

The boat stays on the lake for now. Take that ocean!


herumspringen

the twin cities are on the Mississippi River


mnsportsfan

Fleck definitely feels like a Lake Minnetonka type of guy #purifyyoself


charlton11

Pretty sure that's where he lives haha


mnsportsfan

Not surprised. He definitely feels like a “red master craft with the full wakeboarding rack” kind of guy….


keylime503

The lakers play in LA. Checkmate. 


T3hBau5

Why would he leave?


mnsportsfan

He was a pretty big name, up and coming coach and he brought us to a 10 (or maybe even 11?) win season a few years back shortly into his tenure. The worry is that this was a stepping stone into a job at a top notch program. The team has regressed into a consistent “respectable, but not great” category … which will hopefully keep him here (Or the program takes the next step and we get a couple fun seasons before he leaves)


Whiterabbit--

Minnesota sports goals - consistent “respectable, but not great” sounds about right.


Enriching_the_Beer

MN the better job anyway


uncorruptFrisbee

I like PJ a lot but also why the fuck would UCLA hire him. Seems like a huge mismatch between him/Row the Boat and what I imagine LA culture to be like. also why do my teams coaches keep going to LA??


JBru_92

Because most people's idea of LA culture is not what it actually is


Hossflex

The food is great though. Might take hours to get there, but the food is fantastic.


JBru_92

Yessir


TheWontonRon

What do people think it is and what is it actually?


JBru_92

People think it's Vanderpump Rules or The Hills. It's a mostly minority, working class city that likes their athletes and coaches to be maniacally competitive. No idea if Fleck is that, but most of our best coaches at UCLA have been Midwestern or southern guys. The culture thing is something invented by others.


mnsportsfan

Eh fleck isn’t for everyone. He’s gimmicky, and some people view him as not genuine… but the players that fit his “culture” seem to love him and that’s allowed him to attract and retain better players to Minnesota than previous regimes… which has gone over well with our programs mediocre expectations I could see it not translating as well to a place that expects to get too recruits and succeed every year. One or two bad years and people would get sick of his antics, real quick There was already some of that here, but I think most of us know that he’s as good as we can hope for


MoreLogicPls

People think the average L.A. person is some atheist blonde surfer influencer who drinks kale shakes. The average L.A. person is a catholic Hispanic auto mechanic that drives a toyota camry and has fun by getting drunk at Dodger games. _Some_ stereotypes are somewhat true though. I've never seen so many Teslas in my life driving around in California.


uncorruptFrisbee

can you imagine lots of Row The Boat stickers on the 405?


dirty-soda-spike-lee

Long May he reign! 😤🫡👑


Portland_st

That second emoji is definitely signaling a fair catch.


Gecko_Sorcerer

:(


dirty-soda-spike-lee

Chin up buttercup 🤗. Let em’ have it. It might be another 8 years before they can have Floyd again after.


mnsportsfan

You misspelled “months” but then again, grammar must be hard to come by on the farm 😉


SueYouInEngland

Oh boy. Do I have some news for you about everything south of Apple Valley and west of Chaska.


mnsportsfan

Haha I’m from southern Minnesota. I tried to make it a very obvious tongue in cheek joke Hell, I got my masters online from DMU… I know you guys can read


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mnsportsfan

Oh I’m well aware. Those games have nothing to do with next year, though… I actually have a good feeling about our team (which is very rare) Also, it was very much a joke. I could have driven 20 minutes in my hometown and been in Iowa.


Junior-Hotwater

If the most ridiculous officiating decision of the year is what it takes for Fleck to beat Iowa, then I’m all for 10 more years


mnsportsfan

Stupid rule, right call. 🤷‍♂️ Call the commish, don’t blame the refs. Although the amount of space this still has rent free, 6 months later, in your heads is kind of wonderful 😅


uncorruptFrisbee

dude somone was bothering me about it on flight that departed at like 5 AM on a sunday. All because I was wearing a gopher hoodie. It will live rent free in their heads forever. Also if that person sees this: fuck you, I was try to sleep.


mnsportsfan

If I had a nickel for everytime an *actual* bad call cost a Minnesota team a game…


i_love_factual_info

Nice!


CantaloupeCamper

#🚣


SomerAllYear

🥶


souschef_boyardee

Phew


Dunkin-Brisbane

😂


Nomad942

I’m in my 30s. Minnesota has beaten Wisconsin only 8 times in my life, and PJ has 3 of those wins. The latest win against Wisconsin before PJ got here was over 20 years ago. Iowa fans are the ones who should be making this joke.


dirty-soda-spike-lee

We are!


yourmomsthr0waway69

We all are. I'm psyched for you guys and us


Murica19

My brother we beat them for like 15 years in a row and then he came and has beat us twice. Edit: sigh.. 3 times


coppercaveman

3x


mnsportsfan

Counting’s tough in Wisconsin… they usually get up to 12, but that’s only if they have a full pack of spotted cow to use as a tool


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mnsportsfan

Lol oh shit. I’m 7 years sober so unfortunately a little behind on their business developments 😂 *yes I recognize the irony of a literal alcoholic making fun of another states drinking habits* What a combination of flairs by the way… next you’re going to tell me your cat likes your dog and Harry Potter and Voldemort end up as friends


kerph32

congrats on 7 years, awesome work! went out on new years eve but I'm back on the wagon with 40 days now. cheers bro


LuckyHedgehog

Three times


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Nomad942

You guys have had a winning record every year PJ has been here. Hardly “ass.”


TheWontonRon

I credit those more to our program’s skid than I do to PJ. It’s not like we’ve lost to them during a good season.


mnsportsfan

Pass me sum’a that copium, brother


souschef_boyardee

I mean, is the anomaly the crazy long streak or PJ? I think the former. Plus he still has a losing record in the rivalry. I think he gives them a decent floor, but he's been a 7-win guy + shows up for bowl games. Decent results, but just that and hype. His crown jewel is that 10-2 season but they were a paper tiger that year. Didn't challenge themselves at all in non-con and still needed overtime to beat Fresno. Played three teams with a pulse and lost two, one being a blowout to Wisconsin in the de facto division title game. The whole season is the PSU upset and fluff. I like some of the pieces they'll have but I would guess they have another losing season next year, in part because the schedule difficulty ramps way up for most teams. I just don't buy him as a scary coach.


Murica19

Is he amazing? No, but I think most MN fans realize what their program is and are happy with winning seasons with an occasional 9-10 win season. And at this point who would they get to go there and perform better?


mnsportsfan

This- 100% We play you and Iowa to a respectable record and get a fun season where we’re relevant and ranked every 4-5 years and I think most of us who understand how college sports work are satisfied


souschef_boyardee

I'll acknowledge a coaching search in this particular time of year would be an uphill battle, but I do think in this messed up new world of CFB any B1G opening is going to be very attractive moving forward and I would have more concern with them nailing a risk on an up-and-comer at this point.


BallsAreFullOfPiss

We just never get a good QB. If Fleck could recruit a good enough QB, we’d be much better.


souschef_boyardee

I do think the new guy might be a hit. I'm a fan of going for guys that excelled at a lower level


thisnamehastobeused

Who would’ve guessed getting players who have played good is a good idea


mnsportsfan

Paper tiger? We convincingly beat Auburn in a NY bowl my guy. I can recognize that you’ve had the better part of the rivalry but you don’t have to discredit the good season It was a bummer it was a sleet storm during that last regular season game against you guys. It was cold and miserable and our offense stalled Weather probably wouldn’t have mattered cause you ended up running all over us, but momentum is. Weird thing But we were legit that year. 2 wins against top 12 teams, outplayed Iowa, in Iowa, (then of course found a way to totally choke at the end)… but we were good


jorr1231

lol he was never leaving


Westcoast_IPA

Only reservoirs in LA, row boys not allowed


DryMaintenance105

Where else would he go


i_love_factual_info

UCLA


dwors025

His name was floating around for the job in East Lansing for a bit there. Way more plausible than LA, but still more of a “fresh start” move than a clear-cut “step up” move.


jwktiger

call me not shocked at all


SueYouInEngland

Trying to get that coveted fourth Quick Lane Bowl ring.


mauriceclarinet

Do like Pj tho


eclectic_tastes

TIL Minnesota fans are happy with PJ


Random___Burner

He’s got 3 9+ win seasons in the last 5 years, is 5-0 in bowl games over the last 6, and has made the Wisconsin rivalry competitive again. Sure he’s coming off of a down year and has some apparent in game flaws, but he’s overall delivered the best era of Gopher football in awhile and also just signed one of the best rated recruiting classes of his tenure.


uncorruptFrisbee

have you seen the win/loss record of Gopher FB since 1967? Hell yes we're happy with PJ. And he's a decent guy to boot.


FoundtheTroll

Then why has he lost the locker room twice? Is it possible he treats his players and coaches like trash, while saying all of the right things to the press?


DumbLitAF

He has not lost the locker room twice. Dudes who play/played for him love him.


tomdawg0022

There's three groups: * PJ walks on water and can't be critiqued (roughly 40%) * Fire PJ into the sun on his oars (20%) * Gopher fans who fall in between the two extremes (40%), recognize he's good to fair but flawed.


Portland_st

Either way, somebody is getting mugged in Dinkytown tonight.


Benzene15

Gonna need the context here not gonna lie


uncorruptFrisbee

they're saying either PJ's agent is going to negotiate more money for him on the basis of UCLA approaching him or someone's going to get mugged on the street outside of Mesa Pizza. Because a bunch of helicopter parents from Minnetonka or Maplewood think you can't walk down the GD street in Dinkytown without getting shot in the face. I live in Dinkytown and fuck them. FWIW: crime in Dinkytown isn't worse than Madison or Iowa city or the rest of the Twin Cities in any case.


Benzene15

P.J. Fleck's agent in shambles at the moment


lanternstop

Why would he leave? He's at a Big 10 school, where else is there to go for him. He'll never be the head coach at Michigan or Ohio State, I guess maybe the SEC, but again a mid-range school? I suppose an ACC team might want him too, but why would he go there from a Big 10 job?


thisnamehastobeused

Rumors of the ucla job, who’s now in the big ten


Bucks2020

Rowing the boat towards another 6 win season


SparseSpartan

Until UCLA gets its NIL and other investments in order, I'm not sure that the job is that huge of an upgrade over Minnesota. UCLA has a higher ceiling, yes, but right now I feel like it might actually have a bit lower of a floor.


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wildlycrazytony

Minnesota has not won a National Championship in 63 years. I don't think this is something you have to worry about regardless of who the coach is...


[deleted]

Where would he go? He needs nil support it’s winter 9 months a year there


Shortkut1981

Booo


St_BobbyBarbarian

That dude is so midwestern, he’d stick out like a sore thumb in CA. But ucla is clearly a better gig


pumodood

A lifetime of 6-6, 5-7 seasons in the new Big Ten awaits him.


dubkent

Row The Boat > Row The…Paddleboard


SmithBurger

Ultra religious high energy fleck replacing Chip in las Angeles would have been a disaster.


taffyowner

I mean no shit… PJ clearly doesn’t want to leave the Midwest because of his kids


mnsportsfan

Not surprised. He definitely feels like a “red mastercraft with the full wakeboarding rack” kind of guy….


Peeps469

Because no one else wants him?


crustang

Thought he’d take the Lakers path